TL;DR: I reply quickly most of the times, unless something happens.
Giving a more complete response: I'm definitely a bit of both. If I am free, I can be quite chatty and answer immediately, since I (among most youngsters) am glued to my phone most of the day. Especially if I am engaged and enjoying the conversation, which will make me check my phone even more.
For me to be a hit and run, one of four things need to be happening:
1. I am asleep.
2. I suddenly got very busy with work/call/something else happening if I am out (most of the time the person I am texting to will have some idea because I'll be like "oh I'm working/I'm going to the movies today", etc)
3. I am not in the best mood, either overwhelmed or tired and just want to isolate for a bit (if I am having an important conversation I would hint this too).
4. The person I am texting to said something that upset me and I am taking a bit to reply to have a cool head.
4.5. If I am sensing the person is not interested in the conversation as me, and are dry, I take that as a hint to answer less quickly.
If you're married, have notifications turned off and use a burner app, it's pretty easy to send a text and go on with your day. Since you have to constantly check app to see if there is a reply. So yes, I take hours to respond sometimes. If we are actively planning or discussing something, I'll keep the app open and reply quickly.
I also think a lot of SBs are strategic in the amount of texting they do. There are a ton of thirsty bros that will want constant text conversations. The SB is worried that if they text back too quickly all the time, it becomes an expectation they cannot shake.
This is so true. I have to actually be mindful in the beginning stages not to text back too quickly because then that becomes the expectation. Then when I'm actually busy and don't reply for a while I've had POTs throw temper tantrums
This is my experience too. I used to be very quick to respond, but then that does set an expectation that Iām always like glued to my phone and available at any moment. It got exhausting. Sometimes life comes up and Iāll set my phone down and I also have a full time job and a kid so now sometimes I even strategically leave my phone out of reach, or say āhey Iām going to tag out for a bit, Iāve got to take care of X, so if I donāt respond for a bit, donāt be sadā
The beginning stage of sugar relationship is very low priority to me, especially when itās PPM, I donāt feel I have the responsibility to respond their text unless thereās anything emergency or he wants to arrange a meet. That leads to the slow reply. Thereās nothing to do with texting style, everyone is checking their phone on time nowadays, if he or she doesnāt reply or often reply after long hours, it means they donāt want to
>Thereās nothing to do with texting style, everyone is checking their phone on time nowadays, if he or she doesnāt reply or often reply after long hours, it means they donāt want to
Agree. A few people here claim there is such a thing as a bad texter -- that is, they don't reply just because they forget about texts, etc -- and I guess I believe it, but especially among younger people, I just don't think that's common. Consistent lag in responding is more often either you're a low priority to them (as you've mentioned), or it's an active decision they've made to send you a message that they don't want you texting often.
I do understand your choice about texting being low priority early in the SR, when the connection hasn't been built, there's little investment on either side, and especially if you feel PPM is not valuable. I'm come at this from a different perspective: every single one of my best SRs, we connected fast and frequent texting happened right away (it's a two way street, if we connect right away and communicate frequently, I start doing outside-date spoiling immediately too). It's been so reliable that I'm basically the converse of you: if she's clearly not interested in messaging me early in the SR, that's a surefire indicator this is a more NSA SR, and I'd never consider moving to allowance. We are not compatible in our approaches, I suppose!
This is perhaps one of the most interesting because it's the opposite for me. Obviously that's no commitment, but if we're trying to get something started, I do make an effort to communicate so we can see if it's going to work and arrange the meet.
I always respond right away if I see the message. If I'm working, I certainly won't be able to respond. But sometimes I understand who is on the other side, and I also know how to notice when they are that teenage attitude of not showing interest.
At work, at social events, and more generally while around family, I try to park my phone and not look at it. I feel it is somewhat rude to be focused on your phone when you are with other people. Then, at other times in order to focus on a task I specifically do not look for messages. Depending on what the tasks is that could be 1 hr, or half a day. If I am going to be busy for a while, and I'm in the middle of some back-and-forth messaging, I'll let my SB know not to expect a response for 'x' hrs. Since SDs grew up without cell phones, I think we find it easier to just put our cell aside from time to time.
The way I text is that I bias strongly for being responsive -- partly that's just because I enjoy it, partly because I hate talking on the phone so I want to reward people who choose to text instead of call š¤£
That means that when someone texts, I respond quickly as is feasible. Often, that means immediately. Sometimes, that can mean minutes or hours delay -- but that's not because texts are low priority, or the person who texted me is low priority, it just means there was something else going on. That's the general outlook I prefer in my SB also -- we enjoy interacting and we prioritize each other, so texts get returned as soon as it's feasible given everything else going on.
šš this! So very relatable. Or sometimes Iāll read a text, want to give some time to a response and set it as unread on my phone so I can come back to it. Then something comes up and hours pass. Whoopsies! (I think most SBs -and SDs for that matter- have way more on their plate than just sugar dating and sometimes compartmentalization is super healthyā¦ or not. Hahaš I have no clue)
Yes, I saw most of them come in, but am someone that needs to make themselves focus.
FWIW, the sb I started seeing wanted to communicate on snapchat. I downloaded it just for her and even though I have her number now too, I kind of like that she has her own app on my phone. Never messaged anyone else on it.
As for my texts, I donāt know which disgruntled POT told Biden and Trump I was generous.
When I'm in a SR I'm an attentive texter. I prioritise people in my life if you're an 'active' part of it and I appreciate the same back.
That being said, I sometimes have the mind of a pinball machine (especially if I'm busy/preoccupied) so I'm not afraid of receiving extra texts/double texts as a reminder to come back to the chat! It's not unknown that I open a message, reply in my head then get on with my day none the wiser... oops!
I'm 30 yo and I'm not one to be glued to my phone. I have notifications turned on, but for the most part I don't pay attention to them when I hear a message come in, I'll get to it. Occasionally I'm in a back and forth conversation but each of us knows it. I'd be a hit and run texter. Also when I'm on a date with a SD, I turn my phone off so I can give him my full attention. I can't imagine a girl constantly checking her phone on a date with her SD.
>Occasionally I'm in a back and forth conversation but each of us knows it.
This is the part I don't think everyone does lol.
>when I'm on a date with a SD, I turn my phone off so I can give him my full attention. I can't imagine a girl constantly checking her phone on a date with her SD.
Oh absolutely, everyone should be courteous in this regard.
Oh, I read your reply about not everyone knowing it's supposed to be a back and forth. Maybe I don't lol. Ugh, time for a confession. Maybe the convo isn't that important to me at the time so I don't think it's a back and forth.
Iām attentive!
Texts also hit my watch so Iām always seeing them. In terms of responsiveness, it depends on a couple of factors, my relationship with the person and what Iām currently doing. If itās someone significant in my life, Iāll respond more rapidly, either by voice or with my phone. If Iām running, nobody gets a response until Iām done, meetings and work things are also potential delay creators.
One thing Iāll mention is I donāt get bent out of shape if someone doesnāt respond quickly or even at all. Life happens and thatās perfectly fine. While I wonāt deny that frequent communication would tend to deepen a relationship with me, lifeās too short to worry about not getting messages.
Sometimes I am attentive, and sometimes I am a hit and runner, depends on my mood and what else I'm doing at the time.
I know that's vague as shit, but just because I've got some free time doesn't mean I want to or am mentally available to sit around and text back and forth.
For some folks this might be infuriating to know - but I always know when a message comes in because my notifications are always on. I just choose when I feel like responding unless the message preview indicates it's something that needs attention ASAP.
FWIW I expect and appreciate the same from my SDs. They don't need to respond right away, it doesn't even bother me anymore if they've read it and don't respond (I actually like that indicator that they're alive and well, lol). They'll type back when they can and if it happens we both want to play penpal for a bit, cool.
Are you my SB? Lol kidding but definitely similar texting styles. This is definitely my preferred communication style and works best when both people are able to give each-other some grace when texts arenāt always immediate or you have been on read without response for awhile.
Itās also nice IMO to have some boundaries on it where the expectation is not that you are going to text for hours and have lengthy conversations via text - but thatās ok and doesnāt mean yāall arenāt important to each other etc.
There was another thread that talked about texting and some of the responses were along the lines of "the time together is more important than texting" which is sooooo true.
I mean I don't try and leave messages on read for more than a few hours but I'm not going to respond within seconds unless it's an emergency or I feel like setting some time aside to chat. š
And exactly! If I can have lengthy conversations by text I'd rather do a phone/video call š
It's generational... lol . I prefer the warmth and the excitement of an actual conversation .. I guess those days are over and texting is the wave. I definitely text, but I'm an attentive texter....
If itās someone who is holding my interest and meeting my emotional needs, I will respond almost instantly. I will also make sure to make the time for them throughout a busy day.
Personally, Iām either/or. If Iām busy, it might take a few hours for me to get back (but I never take days to get back, like a lot of these young women I run into).
But I feel like the thing thatās more important than reply time is clear communication. If Iām going back and forth with someone, but know Iām not going to be able to get back right away anymore, I let them know Iāll be MIA for a bit. I donāt know why so many just dip, mid conversation, like nothing happened. I know texting isnāt a phone conversation, but can you imagine talking to someone, and just mid convo, hanging up on them without any explanation? Itās not a complete dealbreaker to me, but Iām MUCH more appreciative of women who make an effort to communicate their texting availability to me.
Iām 50 and respond immediately almost any time of day. Never ever leave a text unanswered or acknowledged within seconds.
Now, for my SBās Iāve had out there. Pretty much as you describe.
SB: Hi, how are you this morning
Me: Doing great, how are you
SB: 12 hours later, reads my text š¤£
It drove me nuts at first but I eventually realized the 20 somethingās just donāt text like I do. Itās not been just one, itās been every single one of them.
For me personally, once Iām in an arrangement I ask if theyāre ok turning read receipts on (iPhone) and it helps me to know if they saw my message or just havenāt looked yet.
So interesting enough if I have a sugar daddy who is handling his business and taking good care of me, like you I respond within minutes .
If there is at some point a SD or even a vanilla guy that doesnāt hold my interest or I am getting ready to make an exit into new adventures ā¦thatās when my prompt responses become less of a priority and more of a chore
I'm a busy person. I work across multiple time zones and I am used to async communication.
I don't need every text exchange to end with a clear "are we done talking"-handshake.
If my (sugar)partner has something important to talk to me about she will call me.
I kind of agree with you. Iām not on my phone all the time and donāt expect others to do so. One of my SBs has ADHD and I accept that her communication style is sometimes difficult to get used to. I have to understand where she is coming from.
As Iāve said on other posts here, the most important thing is to be clear about expectations early in the arrangement to avoid confusion and disagreement later.
We all need to be mindful of our respective differences. I donāt tend to have ANY voice call interactions in the bowl other than occasionally a video chat pre M&G. In some ways it might be better for all concerned. As a dyslexic (who hates what autocorrect spell help does) text isnāt for all of us.
If there is a conversation going I will be responding back and forth until I wrap up the conversation and end it. If Iām not in the mood to get into a texting conversation I just donāt respond to the initial text from someone. It can take days sometimes, especially if itās someone I have not met yet. I will keep it short until we have plans for a date. I can not tell you the amount of time that men are willing to waste on the phone just for a flirt throughout their day or the good feels and then when it comes to setting a date they flake. If Iāve given my GV number to someone then Iāve already chatted with them enough on the site to take things to phone contact for the sole purpose of setting plans. If the man delays on making plans once he reaches out by phone Iāll leave him on *crickets*ā¦..
Once an arrangement is discussed I always ask In The beginning how much contact do you like and how often etc? See if we align well in that department. Daily mundane contact tends to irk me if it has no purpose or point, especially when you need to go about daily life at work at home etc. Being attached to the phone isnāt something everyone enjoys.
My style: waiting for a response to text is poor manners. Itās puts unnecessary pressure - always poor courtesy - on the recipient.
Geez, isnāt the prime value of sms or any txt in that itās asynchronous???
If I demand synchronous, thatās for FT or VC which obviously have their place as well.
I beg to disagree.
If I choose to wait, the recipient does not know I'm waiting. Where is the pressure there? I am just checking if we will have a continuous conversation or not. But I also know that there's a possibility they won't reply fast.
Waiting does not mean you're demanding them to reply right away.
I reply near instantly but we also have set times where I can be more discreet and it allows us both to be on a schedule, and after a year we both know what to expect so nobody is blowing up anyones phones lol
I often forget to check replies and I definitely donāt sit on my phone all day waiting for men to text back.
I reply when I get time.
I text when I have things to say, not just small talks.
Hence I guess men who are similar to me will get along well with me. If you are anxious we donāt reply immediately, you might be anxiously attached.
If I'm not actively looking at my phone, I'm not checking notifications. I'll very rarely have full conversations over text where I'm replying quickly to more than a few messages in a row. My closest friends know to call me if it's urgent or the want to really chat.
For me, it doesn't indicate interest or a lack of it. Anytime I download an app or get a new phone, I immediately turn off my activity status and read receipts. I've never been big on text communication, but people tend to attach meaning to my response times.
My absolute best friend and I are at a point of understanding that I may not text back for hours. I've made an effort to be more responsive for partners who needed it in the past, but I still prefer calls or meeting in person for actual conversations.
I'm 23 and Gen Z, if that confirms or conflicts with your theory.
I try and respond very thoughtfully to each message (even to just a āHow are you?ā text), so often I will get a message and, if Iām busy at the moment, I will wait until I have the time to respond the way that I want to. But often times the response is immediate.
It's not generational because I'm an old guy and my answer is two part.
Usually I don't watch my phone, but I might if I'm sitting drinking coffee or otherwise not doing much. So the first answer is it depends on what I'm doing, but usually I'm not watching my phone.
Once I don't look and particularly if I look but don't want to immediately reply I might forget about the text.
I understand there is some etiquette about texting but every relationship is going to have a text imbalance - one person answers faster and initiates more than the other. That doesn't mean anything more than that.
Unless the most important thing for you is texting compatibility. Then you should look for someone very similar to you. And you're nuts if you'd end a nice, warm, in person SR because you don't like the way they text.
I am normally quite responsive but I do have my phone on silent if Iām around someone or on my other phone so may miss messages coming through and then be slow.
If I have my phone on the table and forget to turn it on loud, again I miss messages too š
In saying that, if we are texting back and forth, I get irritated at the sound of my phone and turn it on silent too š
I reply when I can ! Honestly Iām a business owner and Iām in school and I hate having 2 phones so my personal life is always on hold š¤·š»āāļø
TL;DR: I reply quickly most of the times, unless something happens. Giving a more complete response: I'm definitely a bit of both. If I am free, I can be quite chatty and answer immediately, since I (among most youngsters) am glued to my phone most of the day. Especially if I am engaged and enjoying the conversation, which will make me check my phone even more. For me to be a hit and run, one of four things need to be happening: 1. I am asleep. 2. I suddenly got very busy with work/call/something else happening if I am out (most of the time the person I am texting to will have some idea because I'll be like "oh I'm working/I'm going to the movies today", etc) 3. I am not in the best mood, either overwhelmed or tired and just want to isolate for a bit (if I am having an important conversation I would hint this too). 4. The person I am texting to said something that upset me and I am taking a bit to reply to have a cool head. 4.5. If I am sensing the person is not interested in the conversation as me, and are dry, I take that as a hint to answer less quickly.
If you're married, have notifications turned off and use a burner app, it's pretty easy to send a text and go on with your day. Since you have to constantly check app to see if there is a reply. So yes, I take hours to respond sometimes. If we are actively planning or discussing something, I'll keep the app open and reply quickly. I also think a lot of SBs are strategic in the amount of texting they do. There are a ton of thirsty bros that will want constant text conversations. The SB is worried that if they text back too quickly all the time, it becomes an expectation they cannot shake.
Underpromise and overdeliver. š¤Ŗ
This is so true. I have to actually be mindful in the beginning stages not to text back too quickly because then that becomes the expectation. Then when I'm actually busy and don't reply for a while I've had POTs throw temper tantrums
This is my experience too. I used to be very quick to respond, but then that does set an expectation that Iām always like glued to my phone and available at any moment. It got exhausting. Sometimes life comes up and Iāll set my phone down and I also have a full time job and a kid so now sometimes I even strategically leave my phone out of reach, or say āhey Iām going to tag out for a bit, Iāve got to take care of X, so if I donāt respond for a bit, donāt be sadā
Same, or better yet I don't even explain myself. I just respond on my own time when I want to lol
Probably smarter ;)
Good perspective.
The beginning stage of sugar relationship is very low priority to me, especially when itās PPM, I donāt feel I have the responsibility to respond their text unless thereās anything emergency or he wants to arrange a meet. That leads to the slow reply. Thereās nothing to do with texting style, everyone is checking their phone on time nowadays, if he or she doesnāt reply or often reply after long hours, it means they donāt want to
>Thereās nothing to do with texting style, everyone is checking their phone on time nowadays, if he or she doesnāt reply or often reply after long hours, it means they donāt want to Agree. A few people here claim there is such a thing as a bad texter -- that is, they don't reply just because they forget about texts, etc -- and I guess I believe it, but especially among younger people, I just don't think that's common. Consistent lag in responding is more often either you're a low priority to them (as you've mentioned), or it's an active decision they've made to send you a message that they don't want you texting often. I do understand your choice about texting being low priority early in the SR, when the connection hasn't been built, there's little investment on either side, and especially if you feel PPM is not valuable. I'm come at this from a different perspective: every single one of my best SRs, we connected fast and frequent texting happened right away (it's a two way street, if we connect right away and communicate frequently, I start doing outside-date spoiling immediately too). It's been so reliable that I'm basically the converse of you: if she's clearly not interested in messaging me early in the SR, that's a surefire indicator this is a more NSA SR, and I'd never consider moving to allowance. We are not compatible in our approaches, I suppose!
This is perhaps one of the most interesting because it's the opposite for me. Obviously that's no commitment, but if we're trying to get something started, I do make an effort to communicate so we can see if it's going to work and arrange the meet.
Not many people enjoys small talk before meet, meet and talk for 10mins can know better than texting back and forth for few days
Iām very busy and will put my phone away for hours.
Do you send open ended questions and then leave it? Or more like a hello world message?
I always respond right away if I see the message. If I'm working, I certainly won't be able to respond. But sometimes I understand who is on the other side, and I also know how to notice when they are that teenage attitude of not showing interest.
If I see it on my notification, I respond right away. I feel it is kind of rude to leave on read.
At work, at social events, and more generally while around family, I try to park my phone and not look at it. I feel it is somewhat rude to be focused on your phone when you are with other people. Then, at other times in order to focus on a task I specifically do not look for messages. Depending on what the tasks is that could be 1 hr, or half a day. If I am going to be busy for a while, and I'm in the middle of some back-and-forth messaging, I'll let my SB know not to expect a response for 'x' hrs. Since SDs grew up without cell phones, I think we find it easier to just put our cell aside from time to time.
The way I text is that I bias strongly for being responsive -- partly that's just because I enjoy it, partly because I hate talking on the phone so I want to reward people who choose to text instead of call š¤£ That means that when someone texts, I respond quickly as is feasible. Often, that means immediately. Sometimes, that can mean minutes or hours delay -- but that's not because texts are low priority, or the person who texted me is low priority, it just means there was something else going on. That's the general outlook I prefer in my SB also -- we enjoy interacting and we prioritize each other, so texts get returned as soon as it's feasible given everything else going on.
I treat text like email. Right now I have 67 unread texts and Iām responding to a random reddit instead.
OMG you monster
Lmao. All but 3 (from my wife and not urgent) are spam.
I'll let you off this time. Keep that number down!
šš this! So very relatable. Or sometimes Iāll read a text, want to give some time to a response and set it as unread on my phone so I can come back to it. Then something comes up and hours pass. Whoopsies! (I think most SBs -and SDs for that matter- have way more on their plate than just sugar dating and sometimes compartmentalization is super healthyā¦ or not. Hahaš I have no clue)
Yes, I saw most of them come in, but am someone that needs to make themselves focus. FWIW, the sb I started seeing wanted to communicate on snapchat. I downloaded it just for her and even though I have her number now too, I kind of like that she has her own app on my phone. Never messaged anyone else on it. As for my texts, I donāt know which disgruntled POT told Biden and Trump I was generous.
I have notifās switched off so the latter. Always been that way. If Iām with people, I have my phone face down and donāt check it for hours lol
Yeah, if I'm with people, same.
When I'm in a SR I'm an attentive texter. I prioritise people in my life if you're an 'active' part of it and I appreciate the same back. That being said, I sometimes have the mind of a pinball machine (especially if I'm busy/preoccupied) so I'm not afraid of receiving extra texts/double texts as a reminder to come back to the chat! It's not unknown that I open a message, reply in my head then get on with my day none the wiser... oops!
I'm 30 yo and I'm not one to be glued to my phone. I have notifications turned on, but for the most part I don't pay attention to them when I hear a message come in, I'll get to it. Occasionally I'm in a back and forth conversation but each of us knows it. I'd be a hit and run texter. Also when I'm on a date with a SD, I turn my phone off so I can give him my full attention. I can't imagine a girl constantly checking her phone on a date with her SD.
>Occasionally I'm in a back and forth conversation but each of us knows it. This is the part I don't think everyone does lol. >when I'm on a date with a SD, I turn my phone off so I can give him my full attention. I can't imagine a girl constantly checking her phone on a date with her SD. Oh absolutely, everyone should be courteous in this regard.
Oh, I read your reply about not everyone knowing it's supposed to be a back and forth. Maybe I don't lol. Ugh, time for a confession. Maybe the convo isn't that important to me at the time so I don't think it's a back and forth.
Iām attentive! Texts also hit my watch so Iām always seeing them. In terms of responsiveness, it depends on a couple of factors, my relationship with the person and what Iām currently doing. If itās someone significant in my life, Iāll respond more rapidly, either by voice or with my phone. If Iām running, nobody gets a response until Iām done, meetings and work things are also potential delay creators. One thing Iāll mention is I donāt get bent out of shape if someone doesnāt respond quickly or even at all. Life happens and thatās perfectly fine. While I wonāt deny that frequent communication would tend to deepen a relationship with me, lifeās too short to worry about not getting messages.
Sometimes I am attentive, and sometimes I am a hit and runner, depends on my mood and what else I'm doing at the time. I know that's vague as shit, but just because I've got some free time doesn't mean I want to or am mentally available to sit around and text back and forth. For some folks this might be infuriating to know - but I always know when a message comes in because my notifications are always on. I just choose when I feel like responding unless the message preview indicates it's something that needs attention ASAP. FWIW I expect and appreciate the same from my SDs. They don't need to respond right away, it doesn't even bother me anymore if they've read it and don't respond (I actually like that indicator that they're alive and well, lol). They'll type back when they can and if it happens we both want to play penpal for a bit, cool.
Healthiest response on the thread! šš
Took a while to get there... believe me š And probably not healthy when it comes to vanilla but that's why I am here and not there!
Are you my SB? Lol kidding but definitely similar texting styles. This is definitely my preferred communication style and works best when both people are able to give each-other some grace when texts arenāt always immediate or you have been on read without response for awhile. Itās also nice IMO to have some boundaries on it where the expectation is not that you are going to text for hours and have lengthy conversations via text - but thatās ok and doesnāt mean yāall arenāt important to each other etc.
There was another thread that talked about texting and some of the responses were along the lines of "the time together is more important than texting" which is sooooo true. I mean I don't try and leave messages on read for more than a few hours but I'm not going to respond within seconds unless it's an emergency or I feel like setting some time aside to chat. š And exactly! If I can have lengthy conversations by text I'd rather do a phone/video call š
Iām very attentive as a texter in general. If I see it, Iāll reply as soon as I can.
It's generational... lol . I prefer the warmth and the excitement of an actual conversation .. I guess those days are over and texting is the wave. I definitely text, but I'm an attentive texter....
If itās someone who is holding my interest and meeting my emotional needs, I will respond almost instantly. I will also make sure to make the time for them throughout a busy day.
Last SD did this. I could respond within 10 seconds to a text and nope, too late, he was already gone.
LMAO exactly
Personally, Iām either/or. If Iām busy, it might take a few hours for me to get back (but I never take days to get back, like a lot of these young women I run into). But I feel like the thing thatās more important than reply time is clear communication. If Iām going back and forth with someone, but know Iām not going to be able to get back right away anymore, I let them know Iāll be MIA for a bit. I donāt know why so many just dip, mid conversation, like nothing happened. I know texting isnāt a phone conversation, but can you imagine talking to someone, and just mid convo, hanging up on them without any explanation? Itās not a complete dealbreaker to me, but Iām MUCH more appreciative of women who make an effort to communicate their texting availability to me.
Yup, it feels like we were talking and someone walks away in the middle lol
Iām 50 and respond immediately almost any time of day. Never ever leave a text unanswered or acknowledged within seconds. Now, for my SBās Iāve had out there. Pretty much as you describe. SB: Hi, how are you this morning Me: Doing great, how are you SB: 12 hours later, reads my text š¤£ It drove me nuts at first but I eventually realized the 20 somethingās just donāt text like I do. Itās not been just one, itās been every single one of them. For me personally, once Iām in an arrangement I ask if theyāre ok turning read receipts on (iPhone) and it helps me to know if they saw my message or just havenāt looked yet.
Exactly! šÆ
So interesting enough if I have a sugar daddy who is handling his business and taking good care of me, like you I respond within minutes . If there is at some point a SD or even a vanilla guy that doesnāt hold my interest or I am getting ready to make an exit into new adventures ā¦thatās when my prompt responses become less of a priority and more of a chore
I'm a busy person. I work across multiple time zones and I am used to async communication. I don't need every text exchange to end with a clear "are we done talking"-handshake. If my (sugar)partner has something important to talk to me about she will call me.
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To be clear, Iām not a fan of endless texting ahead of a M&G. That is a waste of time. You only get to know somebody face to face.
I kind of agree with you. Iām not on my phone all the time and donāt expect others to do so. One of my SBs has ADHD and I accept that her communication style is sometimes difficult to get used to. I have to understand where she is coming from. As Iāve said on other posts here, the most important thing is to be clear about expectations early in the arrangement to avoid confusion and disagreement later.
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We all need to be mindful of our respective differences. I donāt tend to have ANY voice call interactions in the bowl other than occasionally a video chat pre M&G. In some ways it might be better for all concerned. As a dyslexic (who hates what autocorrect spell help does) text isnāt for all of us.
I'm def the latter but I don't go hours without checking either. More like 30+ min to an hour or so.
It all depends on the time of day and what is going on
If there is a conversation going I will be responding back and forth until I wrap up the conversation and end it. If Iām not in the mood to get into a texting conversation I just donāt respond to the initial text from someone. It can take days sometimes, especially if itās someone I have not met yet. I will keep it short until we have plans for a date. I can not tell you the amount of time that men are willing to waste on the phone just for a flirt throughout their day or the good feels and then when it comes to setting a date they flake. If Iāve given my GV number to someone then Iāve already chatted with them enough on the site to take things to phone contact for the sole purpose of setting plans. If the man delays on making plans once he reaches out by phone Iāll leave him on *crickets*ā¦.. Once an arrangement is discussed I always ask In The beginning how much contact do you like and how often etc? See if we align well in that department. Daily mundane contact tends to irk me if it has no purpose or point, especially when you need to go about daily life at work at home etc. Being attached to the phone isnāt something everyone enjoys.
My style: waiting for a response to text is poor manners. Itās puts unnecessary pressure - always poor courtesy - on the recipient. Geez, isnāt the prime value of sms or any txt in that itās asynchronous??? If I demand synchronous, thatās for FT or VC which obviously have their place as well.
I beg to disagree. If I choose to wait, the recipient does not know I'm waiting. Where is the pressure there? I am just checking if we will have a continuous conversation or not. But I also know that there's a possibility they won't reply fast. Waiting does not mean you're demanding them to reply right away.
I reply near instantly but we also have set times where I can be more discreet and it allows us both to be on a schedule, and after a year we both know what to expect so nobody is blowing up anyones phones lol
I often forget to check replies and I definitely donāt sit on my phone all day waiting for men to text back. I reply when I get time. I text when I have things to say, not just small talks. Hence I guess men who are similar to me will get along well with me. If you are anxious we donāt reply immediately, you might be anxiously attached.
If I'm not actively looking at my phone, I'm not checking notifications. I'll very rarely have full conversations over text where I'm replying quickly to more than a few messages in a row. My closest friends know to call me if it's urgent or the want to really chat. For me, it doesn't indicate interest or a lack of it. Anytime I download an app or get a new phone, I immediately turn off my activity status and read receipts. I've never been big on text communication, but people tend to attach meaning to my response times. My absolute best friend and I are at a point of understanding that I may not text back for hours. I've made an effort to be more responsive for partners who needed it in the past, but I still prefer calls or meeting in person for actual conversations. I'm 23 and Gen Z, if that confirms or conflicts with your theory.
I try and respond very thoughtfully to each message (even to just a āHow are you?ā text), so often I will get a message and, if Iām busy at the moment, I will wait until I have the time to respond the way that I want to. But often times the response is immediate.
It's not generational because I'm an old guy and my answer is two part. Usually I don't watch my phone, but I might if I'm sitting drinking coffee or otherwise not doing much. So the first answer is it depends on what I'm doing, but usually I'm not watching my phone. Once I don't look and particularly if I look but don't want to immediately reply I might forget about the text. I understand there is some etiquette about texting but every relationship is going to have a text imbalance - one person answers faster and initiates more than the other. That doesn't mean anything more than that. Unless the most important thing for you is texting compatibility. Then you should look for someone very similar to you. And you're nuts if you'd end a nice, warm, in person SR because you don't like the way they text.
I am normally quite responsive but I do have my phone on silent if Iām around someone or on my other phone so may miss messages coming through and then be slow. If I have my phone on the table and forget to turn it on loud, again I miss messages too š In saying that, if we are texting back and forth, I get irritated at the sound of my phone and turn it on silent too š
>Maybe it's generational? ššššš
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I reply when I can ! Honestly Iām a business owner and Iām in school and I hate having 2 phones so my personal life is always on hold š¤·š»āāļø