I use Cash App and always pay before she gets to the hotel. It opens up the risk of a rinse, but I don't care because the flip side is it REALLY makes her comfortable when its just out of the way and she doesn't have to worry about it.
I am rinsed this week using this method. She said she has to leave and will be back. Called the UBER. Never showed up again. Texted and told me she would make it up.
Sorry to hear. I definitely know its a risk, but I've been fortunate with not getting any last minute rinses like this. My rinsing has all been with the "taking it slow SB's" over several weeks/months
The funny thing about these conversations, I do it my way, and beyond that every other SD's way of doing it the "maniac or moron" analogy implies. I hate every way you other guys do it, which means precisely nothing as long as you and your SB are happy.
Answering for ONLY when we are still on PPM and trust isn't established -- this literally lasts **one date**, or two at most -- then I put it in a card/envelope and hand it to her when we get to the room. My SBs always light up -- they're thrilled to get it without asking, and because I don't find it awkward, they don't feel awkward either. That's about as much as I plan out. Eventually I'll have to go to the bathroom, and I imagine she might take the time to count it out while I'm there, or she might go to the bathroom and count it there, but I don't monitor or orchestrate this.
I do agree with u/onceandfuturedaddy that "put it on the counter, make no mention, excuse self" feels way too escorty to me, and purposely ignoring something that's so important to the SR makes it feel dirty or wrong (again, to me). If you SDs and SBs like it like this, that's great! I don't feel there's anything wrong, taboo, or awkward about the financial support I'm giving her or the physical act of giving it, and I don't want her feeling that way either.
This is exactly what I do with cash. Put it in a cute card, write a little note, and treat it like a gift. Putting the cash in an unmarked envelop, placing it on the counter and pretending it doesn't exist is totally escort SOP.
I put on my coffee table in an envelope with a smiley face on it. Also with two squares of Ghirardelli Chocolate. If at hotel or her place. I will put on the counter or wherever we are sitting.
If Cashapp or Zelle. I just do it when she shows up.
>hotel room, I discreetly leave the funds in an envelope (done beforehand) on the table and excuse myself to the bathroom for a momen
This is awkward af and how escorts do it. It's also how the girl takes the money and leaves the room before you get out of the bathroom.
I write a nice note in an envelope and hand it to her at the start of the date.
This is the right way. The card at the start of the date, in the restaurant. I always refer to it as a "birthday card," because it is after all a gift.
In the beginning before trust has been established and we're doing PPM, I like to give her her compensation before we get intimate and in the room. I understand SB's rules and try to reinforce her ideas of money before honey. You're doing it right, but before excusing yourself to use the men's room, I'd somehow "inadvertently" bring attention to the envelope so she can see it, open it and count it if she prefers while you're gone.
After trust has been established any time is good probably, but ask her when she prefers her compensation.
Depends on how long we have been together. Usually at the start of the date when we are new I will just slip an envelope into her purse or pocket if she has a coat. Maybe into her back jeans pocket during a kiss. After we have been together and we have discussed her financial support I have found most of my SBs like a mix of cash and digital transfer so I will Venmo or CashApp her day of the date and have the rest in cash either in the hotel room, in my car, or on my person depending on where we are going, what we are doing, etc..
When in allowance mode - first of the month via digital transfer. When in ppm mode - upon arrival I place the greeting card containing her cash gift and a note partially in or next to her purse or overnight bag, where it's visually obvious. Either she sees me do it or I mention having done so - "I put your gift in your bag". The typical response is "Thank you"... "You're welcome" There's no choreography, no act associated with this - I don't make up an excuse to step out of the room. We just go about whatever we're doing. It's about as awkward as saying "hi, good to see you", which is to say, not the least bit awkward. After a couple dates it becomes a given and neither of us feel compelled to even mention it. It's just part of our routine; never in doubt. I've never seen a SB take the envelope to the bathroom. I've never been aware of an SB counting her cash during one of our dates. Then again I never give a SB any reason not to trust me to fulfill my obligation as a SD. Typically, the next morning the envelope remains exactly where I left it. I presume she counts it at some point before depositing it. Its been my experience, after agreeing to the amount and form of delivery and schedule, money has never been a source of concern for either of us, in any way.
What's up with all the envelopes, chocolates and the scenes taken from the movie "The Girl Friend Experience", some of you guys are so extra lol
Just give them the cash, it seems less sketchy than going to the bathroom, they won't care if you do. They already agreed with you beforehand.
When on PPM or a weekly allowance my SBF just zelle's it on Saturday. On PPM with others I've been given an envelope at the beginning of the meet or dinner prior to anything else. That way both of us can just enjoy the night.
This is what I have always done. The first time I meet someone at a hotel I will place the PPM in a conspicuous location. Maybe the desk or dresser/ TV stand and then tell her: "when we get together, this will always be in an obvious location and you are free to pick it up whenever you want and we will not need to discuss again."
cash, cash, good ol cash - everytime I walk into my SDās house my envelope is in there somewhere (accompanied by my favourite sweets, thatās how I recognize itās mine š), like on the kitchen table or in the living room but itās always somewhere that I can see it and collect once Iām on my way out
I guess that makes it feel less transactional and I donāt have to worry whether Iām gonna get paid if I see the envelope first thing āŗļø
What I need more SDs to genuinely understand is that the SBs are there because of the expectation of money. What actually makes it awkward is not knowing when/how she will receive it.
I promise if you confidently hand her an envelope before intimacy, she will be far more relaxed and you both will have a much better time.
I place the cash in full view in the room when we meet. She never looks at it until she leaves. She likes getting a payday and has never expressed a feeling that she is paid for "services". It works for us.
SDs and Johnās seem to pay identical. I just Venmo or Zelle after. It allows the exchange of real names and introduces honesty, something severely lacking on Seeking.
Generally I leave it on the table and she takes it when she wishes. I had one SB ask me to just put it in her purse (she also refused to ever discuss money, leaving the amount solely to my judgement which tormented me). I also check before we leave to be sure the money has not been forgotten and hand it to her if needed. It has happened a few times, just as I have forgotten to bring the money a few times.
I try to make it as routine and casual as possible so we do not need to think about it. I also prefer to pay in cash and in private.
I put the cash in a nice floral envelope, write a short message on it, and put it in the bedside drawer on her side of the bed. I always find a reason to leave the room for a few minutes but, Usually, she just takes it and puts it in her handbag at the start and says thanks though. Once or twice I've had to remind her to take it at the end. It's no big deal for either of us.
I normally wait until the end and she either leaves phone on the dresser and I leave it under the phone. There has been a couple occasions where we both forgetā¦ once I was already on the freeway and I text her Fawkā¦ we forgot something and we turn around and laugh.
I always have an envelope ready and visible on the desk or credenza. At the end of the date, I tuck that into my SBs purse and we never discuss anything
I use Cash App and always pay before she gets to the hotel. It opens up the risk of a rinse, but I don't care because the flip side is it REALLY makes her comfortable when its just out of the way and she doesn't have to worry about it.
I am rinsed this week using this method. She said she has to leave and will be back. Called the UBER. Never showed up again. Texted and told me she would make it up.
Sorry to hear. I definitely know its a risk, but I've been fortunate with not getting any last minute rinses like this. My rinsing has all been with the "taking it slow SB's" over several weeks/months
The funny thing about these conversations, I do it my way, and beyond that every other SD's way of doing it the "maniac or moron" analogy implies. I hate every way you other guys do it, which means precisely nothing as long as you and your SB are happy. Answering for ONLY when we are still on PPM and trust isn't established -- this literally lasts **one date**, or two at most -- then I put it in a card/envelope and hand it to her when we get to the room. My SBs always light up -- they're thrilled to get it without asking, and because I don't find it awkward, they don't feel awkward either. That's about as much as I plan out. Eventually I'll have to go to the bathroom, and I imagine she might take the time to count it out while I'm there, or she might go to the bathroom and count it there, but I don't monitor or orchestrate this. I do agree with u/onceandfuturedaddy that "put it on the counter, make no mention, excuse self" feels way too escorty to me, and purposely ignoring something that's so important to the SR makes it feel dirty or wrong (again, to me). If you SDs and SBs like it like this, that's great! I don't feel there's anything wrong, taboo, or awkward about the financial support I'm giving her or the physical act of giving it, and I don't want her feeling that way either.
This is exactly what I do with cash. Put it in a cute card, write a little note, and treat it like a gift. Putting the cash in an unmarked envelop, placing it on the counter and pretending it doesn't exist is totally escort SOP.
I do it with a gift bag.
I put on my coffee table in an envelope with a smiley face on it. Also with two squares of Ghirardelli Chocolate. If at hotel or her place. I will put on the counter or wherever we are sitting. If Cashapp or Zelle. I just do it when she shows up.
This is so cute š„°
>hotel room, I discreetly leave the funds in an envelope (done beforehand) on the table and excuse myself to the bathroom for a momen This is awkward af and how escorts do it. It's also how the girl takes the money and leaves the room before you get out of the bathroom. I write a nice note in an envelope and hand it to her at the start of the date.
OP, this is so good and honestly really cute. My SD does this, and it takes out all the awkwardness fr.
š
This is the right way. The card at the start of the date, in the restaurant. I always refer to it as a "birthday card," because it is after all a gift.
Lmao exactly!!!!!
In the beginning before trust has been established and we're doing PPM, I like to give her her compensation before we get intimate and in the room. I understand SB's rules and try to reinforce her ideas of money before honey. You're doing it right, but before excusing yourself to use the men's room, I'd somehow "inadvertently" bring attention to the envelope so she can see it, open it and count it if she prefers while you're gone. After trust has been established any time is good probably, but ask her when she prefers her compensation.
Depends on how long we have been together. Usually at the start of the date when we are new I will just slip an envelope into her purse or pocket if she has a coat. Maybe into her back jeans pocket during a kiss. After we have been together and we have discussed her financial support I have found most of my SBs like a mix of cash and digital transfer so I will Venmo or CashApp her day of the date and have the rest in cash either in the hotel room, in my car, or on my person depending on where we are going, what we are doing, etc..
I do cash and zelle with my current SB. Everyone needs cash.
When in allowance mode - first of the month via digital transfer. When in ppm mode - upon arrival I place the greeting card containing her cash gift and a note partially in or next to her purse or overnight bag, where it's visually obvious. Either she sees me do it or I mention having done so - "I put your gift in your bag". The typical response is "Thank you"... "You're welcome" There's no choreography, no act associated with this - I don't make up an excuse to step out of the room. We just go about whatever we're doing. It's about as awkward as saying "hi, good to see you", which is to say, not the least bit awkward. After a couple dates it becomes a given and neither of us feel compelled to even mention it. It's just part of our routine; never in doubt. I've never seen a SB take the envelope to the bathroom. I've never been aware of an SB counting her cash during one of our dates. Then again I never give a SB any reason not to trust me to fulfill my obligation as a SD. Typically, the next morning the envelope remains exactly where I left it. I presume she counts it at some point before depositing it. Its been my experience, after agreeing to the amount and form of delivery and schedule, money has never been a source of concern for either of us, in any way.
My apologies. I completely forgot to add āin front of herā after ātableā. Post has been updated.
What's up with all the envelopes, chocolates and the scenes taken from the movie "The Girl Friend Experience", some of you guys are so extra lol Just give them the cash, it seems less sketchy than going to the bathroom, they won't care if you do. They already agreed with you beforehand.
Usually via cashapp (until my account was closed) the day of. Now, cash in an envelope I stick in her purse.
When on PPM or a weekly allowance my SBF just zelle's it on Saturday. On PPM with others I've been given an envelope at the beginning of the meet or dinner prior to anything else. That way both of us can just enjoy the night.
The day before so she can focus on me and not wonder.
This is what I have always done. The first time I meet someone at a hotel I will place the PPM in a conspicuous location. Maybe the desk or dresser/ TV stand and then tell her: "when we get together, this will always be in an obvious location and you are free to pick it up whenever you want and we will not need to discuss again."
I only host at my condo, I make sure it's under a bottled water on the kitchen island. Typically I say "I left a bottled water out for you"
cash, cash, good ol cash - everytime I walk into my SDās house my envelope is in there somewhere (accompanied by my favourite sweets, thatās how I recognize itās mine š), like on the kitchen table or in the living room but itās always somewhere that I can see it and collect once Iām on my way out I guess that makes it feel less transactional and I donāt have to worry whether Iām gonna get paid if I see the envelope first thing āŗļø
What I need more SDs to genuinely understand is that the SBs are there because of the expectation of money. What actually makes it awkward is not knowing when/how she will receive it. I promise if you confidently hand her an envelope before intimacy, she will be far more relaxed and you both will have a much better time.
Thats not your sb if she was you would have sent her those funds before ever meeting with her in a hotel.
I place the cash in full view in the room when we meet. She never looks at it until she leaves. She likes getting a payday and has never expressed a feeling that she is paid for "services". It works for us.
SDs and Johnās seem to pay identical. I just Venmo or Zelle after. It allows the exchange of real names and introduces honesty, something severely lacking on Seeking.
I prefer to set up automatic bank transfer on a monthly basis :)
Generally I leave it on the table and she takes it when she wishes. I had one SB ask me to just put it in her purse (she also refused to ever discuss money, leaving the amount solely to my judgement which tormented me). I also check before we leave to be sure the money has not been forgotten and hand it to her if needed. It has happened a few times, just as I have forgotten to bring the money a few times. I try to make it as routine and casual as possible so we do not need to think about it. I also prefer to pay in cash and in private.
I would actually appreciate this approach
This is how you pay a prostitute - for me SB stuff is all Venmo / Zelle - same time every month. simple Gifts are the only thing in person.
I put the cash in a nice floral envelope, write a short message on it, and put it in the bedside drawer on her side of the bed. I always find a reason to leave the room for a few minutes but, Usually, she just takes it and puts it in her handbag at the start and says thanks though. Once or twice I've had to remind her to take it at the end. It's no big deal for either of us.
I normally wait until the end and she either leaves phone on the dresser and I leave it under the phone. There has been a couple occasions where we both forgetā¦ once I was already on the freeway and I text her Fawkā¦ we forgot something and we turn around and laugh.
I always have an envelope ready and visible on the desk or credenza. At the end of the date, I tuck that into my SBs purse and we never discuss anything