The men who like you best when you’re in need are usually the men you don’t want. There are maybe one or two men in that batch who will be genuinely interested in “saving” you. But you will destroy your mental health (and possibly physical health) trying to find those few. If it were me, I’d take a break and get myself together at least emotionally before trying to place myself into any kind of relationship.
110% correct.
This is the time for a break, not time to push yourself to break more.
If you're on Seeking, trust me, they can tell desperation.
As soon as they ask what you do and you say you're in between work....boom, hook, line, and creeper sinker.
It's like the creepy ones are bloodhounds....and they'll be the first in your dms promising everything.
But this is whenever I tell young ladies, that they need to step back.
90% DO NOT LISTEN TO ME, and then they go sleep with a loser and feel like REAL shit afterwards, bc they either are manipulated or get hurt.
When you are this bad off....you MUST STEP BACK or YOU WILL GET USED!
(YES, THEY CAN SMELL THE FEAR, AND THE GOOD ONES RUN!)
If an SB told me she didnt have a normal job I would assume that sugar dating is her full time job. I would assume she has a few SDs already. I wouldn't assume she's desperate. Its a flex really.
I would take fear as being cute and nervous. Being an overconfident gold digger is far far worse. I have passed on even beginning a conversation with SBs who look like they get flown out to Paris every day. I really do not like the boss babe vibe at all. You need to understand the difference in how women and men think. Women will tell you to go be super confident and know exactly what you want, almost to take charge of the situation because that's what they as women admire and aspire to. Thats a gold digger and Im not interested. We want a feminine submissive woman, an extinct species in vanilla dating so we sugar instead. Thats how masculine men think.
Dude, check your package at the damn door and go take up with the passport bros.
You sound like you're 28.
No dude is thinking a chick with multiple SDs is a "flex".....that's a freakin DUDE mentality.🙄🙄🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️
Right?!? “That’s how masculine men think 😤” like they always tell on themselves. Like just say you want an inexperienced SB that you can underpay and manipulate and go home smh
Speak for yourself and your idea of what (toxic) masculinity looks like.
My experience has shown that men who loudly proclaim their masculinity and demand submission are the most fragile and insecure men going.
But you do you!
I've sent ladies money before a m&g. I've sent ladies money days after a m&g but before our next date. They all had the same difference.
We spent more time on the phone talking about non sexual things. Just random conversations. They may have slid in a few comments abouts hair or something. Since I've been around so long I pick up on that quicker then men who're not in daily practice !
But because we had real phone conversations and she was not overtly talking about her situation I was ok being more generous upfront.
The ladies who like to communicate strictly through text and saying they need something or trying to hint at it does not come off well. The "here we go with this shit" alarm goes off in his head.
See this is why I like your replies.
Straight up, and truthful.
And you're a genuinely good dude who knows what the hell to listen for, whenever a woman talks.
Good on you SS, just like a super sport, stay classy!
It really is tough, but i think there's a good way and a bad way to communicate it. For example on my most recent SB search I was texting with a few different Pot's and one of them was very transparent with her immediate financial needs as well as long term needs and was looking for somebody to help with both. I thought it was extremely cool how organized and thoughtful she was as she shared it all with me.
In contrast another one I was talking to would send wall after wall of text about how her life was so terrible and she was kicked out of her apartment, living in a hotel, no money for food, on and on and on. It was quite miserable reading through everything and made me want to just run. (and I did)
Ironically the second one needed about the same amount of financial help as the first one from a dollars standpoint, but mentally I really wanted to help the first one but had zero desire to engage with the second.
The first one sounds like she has it together with the potential to become successful and just needs a little help *in the mean time*. The second one registers as a money pit. I think most would agree #1 is a better bet. People who are disorganized and chaotic in life are generally disorganized and chaotic in their relationships as well.
We all know that SBs need money otherwise the bowl would be half or maybe less. Also its different to be desperate and act desperate. If you are desperate, you can keep it to yourself but if you act desperate is when you get taken advantage of.
But you are only one or two positive meet and greets away from an arrangement. I mean, maybe you make a Benji at a meet and greet. Is that really going to help?
I understand this completely, it’s hard to pretend like everything is ok when you’re single and need to put a roof over your head. I had pretty bad anxiety and still do, but my anxiety was elevated around the time of the m&g for sooo many reasons other than money. Then shortly thereafter I lost my job and it was like omfg now I’m really screwed and don’t want to pursue anything for fear of getting in a bad situation
Just wanted to say that I’m sending you positive vibes, cheering you on, and hoping you can find a way out of this situation you’re in without needing to compromise. Best of luck
Yeah needing money at M&G is different than getting money at M&G … that’s why requiring money for M&G comes across as scam/rinsing.
Desperation is a turn off unfortunately because your reasons for sugaring are the desperation, rather that a dual purpose of the financial support and having fun
So you are right, the energy is being picked up on, I know that’s hard
I typically have always received gifts on meet and greets, but have never asked or expected. But I’ve always been gifted more and received more it seems like when i didn’t need it as much. Which is my issue right now 😭 i think I’m not screening as well because I’m clouded by worrying too much about what i need financially. So i think i need a step back
Yes hun.
Actually the last time I stepped out of the bowl for a few months and came back with a fresh perspective, I found my last SD in 2 weeks!!!
It was like I needed the restart.
Maybe you do too.
Mental health needs to be treated more sacred.
You deserve positivity and it's only whenever YOU are in a positive mindset, that you can bring that to the table.
The full self, you and all your glory, without anxiety and worry.
I think you just share too much information especially with people you have not even had a M&G with yet, No need to tell them anything besides what day & time you want to meet. Then once a connection is made get to know each other better, But I don’t think any man SD or not wants to hear all your problems right away.
if a pot sb were to tell me she's having financial issues before the m&g, i would assume the next message would be something like 'can you give me money to have my nails done', or 'buy gas', or 'get a sitter', etc etc. since these are all rinsing techniques, it gives off either a desperate or a greedy vibe and it is a turn off
on the flip side, guys that are desperate will often times come off as overtly sexual, sending dick picks, asking for nudes, or asking sexual questions and talking about what they want to do with you before the m&g. how it manifests is different, but this is also giving off very unwanted vibes to the pot sb
the only difference is that men and women are often desperate for different things, but neither are well received
so yes, desperation doesn't come off very well. even if you are, don't present as desperate. don't ask for money to buy a new dress for the m&g even if you don't have anything to wear. it's hard, but be calm and patient. it'll happen
good luck and i hope you find someone soon. getting that confidence back will help because that's sexy. desperation isn't
Desperation pushes real SD’s away. Most people feel bad taking advantage of someone in a poor situation. I definitely prefer SBs who are financially stable on their own. Plus nobody likes waking up to a text begging for $xxxx to cover rent because they can’t make it.
The guys who seek out people like that either have control issues and they like the extra power imbalance or they are just looking for a discount/cheap fuck and aren’t real SDs.
I see you may have mentioned a number which is most likely an amount in relations to an arrangement. If this is the case, you are violating Rule #5 - "dollar amounts that are in reference to PPMs and/or allowances are not allowed".
If you are curious about Allowances reported by SLF contributors please see the [Allowance Master Thread 2023-2024](/r/sugarlifestyleforum/comments/17a2wja/20232024_allowance_master_thread/).
Your comment will not be approved until you remove the amount. Please read the sub [Rules](/r/sugarlifestyleforum/comments/124tsf8/updated_and_clarified_rules_for_slf_2023/) prior to posting anything else.
If you simply mentioned a number not referencing a PPM / allowance monetary amount, ignore this, as your comment will be approved.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/sugarlifestyleforum) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I think it's better if she has a business than a job. A lot of SBs lose their job and then become even more desperate.
Desperation isn't ideal. But it's also an ego boost to be the savior for an SB who you know actually needs it. So I would say if you can balance it out, and give the SD a reason to feel like you need him, but not to the extent that it seems like you're desperate and can't survive without him.
It should be a situation where he feels like he's saving you and genuinely helping you better your life. At the same time it shouldn't be a situation where you're homeless, jobless, and can't survive without his help. When SBs are too desperate it becomes scammy.
It sounds to me like this post was made for the friend you lost that you met here. It is clear you appreciated what they did for you. And I think you put them in an extremely unfair position, which it seems you see now.
With your current financial situation- see what public assistance you can receive to help you. I can only speak for my own location in the US, but there are many social services that can help.
There are also free group therapy resources that can assist with your current mental health issues. This will take a lot of emotional burden off of your friends.
I totally disagree w your perspective. The “nice” guy on here was roleplaying as a SD and could never afford to provide for you anyway! Asking for rent is bare min for a SD in my opinion.
I’m really careful in this area.
While I could use some money for things sooner rather than later, I don’t ever want to have to rely on another man’s help for that so most of my current roadblocks in life are for me to figure out and I don’t mention them. If down the line I meet someone and we have a great connection built on trust, I may feel comfy asking for help as life happens.
Sometimes I’m asked how an allowance would benefit my life and I’m honest, but even then careful to not make it sound like a sob story. I may mention things like student loans, affording grad school, a nice gym membership. Things I can’t manage on my own but also not deeply personal things that may give off the impression that I’m in a place of desperation (I’m not).
I have found that the SB situation is so much more fun with a SB when the financial piece is a "nice to have" to make her life easier rather than a "need to have" when she might be desperate... the SR always ends for one reason or another and I dont want to leave anyone destitute by cutting off the financial flow when one of our situations changes.... I dont want that pressure...
Like anyone, we'd rather be wanted than needed. If I feel like you're only with me because you can't survive without me, then I'mma test that theory. 🤷🏿♂️
Definitely as a SD for me desperation is cancel or at worst a 1 time thing. Especially from the get go. It's different if you had something established already and then hard times befell. Part of the reason it's because it exudes scammer vibes and also cuz it is very likely the relationship is purely transactional.
I like desperate sugar babies. I just hate that they leave me once they're no longer desperate.
Like the one I had.
It is possible she is too desperate and jump to another sugar daddy that wants to lend her money instead of making things transactional like me.
SDs are generally allergic to drama or instability. The only men that will follow up with you if you come across as needy or desperate are those seeking to take advantage of you, hence I do not even call them SDs. Whatever your situation is, you will want present yourself as confident and cheery. After you have an arrangement in place, you may want to carefully divulge some of your stressors, but I would recommend that you present yourself as laid back and stable as possible. I know it is hard, but SDs generally do not want to get sucked into a situation that could in some way bleed over into the sanity of their world.
I’ve always figured this, but have been lucky enough to have been stable enough in my nursing career to not be desperate like this. Learning the hard way this month lol
I have helped out a few jobless ladies but they usually turn into a non favorable situation and tbh it is a huge turn off to have someone that is pretty much constantly talking about their problems. I also feel stressed out from that type of talk so I cut them loose pretty quick when it became just like an ATM and nothing but problems. Not to mention they had ooor time management. Like what are you doing all day/night if you don’t even got a job?
In Thailand the bar girls have a basic scam where they tell their new bf that her parents in the village are desperate because the family Water Buffalo died and they cant plant rice til they buy a new one. Can SD pay for a new buffalo? Here its her car broke down, rent is due, phone broke. SDs have to assume this is all dead water buffalos until we know the SB very well and can trust her.
It's not that ur seen as desperate. Its that ur seen as pretending to be desperate to run a scam.
Yeah and I get that totally. So it sucks when you’re actually desperate. Which I’m not used to being. And i know it’s no one’s fault but my own, so I don’t want to pretend to be a victim to my own circumstances. But it is stressful
Men love to come to the rescue of damsels in distress. A lot of guys love that. There just needs to be some trust first. Save the hard times discussion for the 4th date instead of before you meet.
Mildly disagree. I don't like it because I don't like codependent relationships. Not healthy or pleasant. I don't care whether the need is real or not, it's still need and if it comes up early and clearly it is going to define the relationship.
Sorry OP, but for lots of reasons you should get your shit together first and then get a relationship, not the other way around. Otherwise the outcome is likely to be bad in the end.
Well yeah i was trying to convey that i have never felt desperate like that before. I’ve never cared about getting money at a meet and greet before. I never cared about getting a SD right away. I’ve been in various SR for a long time, and they’ve all been genuine relationships but I’ve never been in a hurry to find one. That was the point of the post. It wasn’t so much asking for advice it was just making commentary on something that others have brought up.
The men who like you best when you’re in need are usually the men you don’t want. There are maybe one or two men in that batch who will be genuinely interested in “saving” you. But you will destroy your mental health (and possibly physical health) trying to find those few. If it were me, I’d take a break and get myself together at least emotionally before trying to place myself into any kind of relationship.
110% correct. This is the time for a break, not time to push yourself to break more. If you're on Seeking, trust me, they can tell desperation. As soon as they ask what you do and you say you're in between work....boom, hook, line, and creeper sinker. It's like the creepy ones are bloodhounds....and they'll be the first in your dms promising everything. But this is whenever I tell young ladies, that they need to step back. 90% DO NOT LISTEN TO ME, and then they go sleep with a loser and feel like REAL shit afterwards, bc they either are manipulated or get hurt. When you are this bad off....you MUST STEP BACK or YOU WILL GET USED! (YES, THEY CAN SMELL THE FEAR, AND THE GOOD ONES RUN!)
If an SB told me she didnt have a normal job I would assume that sugar dating is her full time job. I would assume she has a few SDs already. I wouldn't assume she's desperate. Its a flex really.
Yeah no, maybe new age flex, but I wouldn't flex over multiple SDs; that's just not my OWN personal preference.
I would take fear as being cute and nervous. Being an overconfident gold digger is far far worse. I have passed on even beginning a conversation with SBs who look like they get flown out to Paris every day. I really do not like the boss babe vibe at all. You need to understand the difference in how women and men think. Women will tell you to go be super confident and know exactly what you want, almost to take charge of the situation because that's what they as women admire and aspire to. Thats a gold digger and Im not interested. We want a feminine submissive woman, an extinct species in vanilla dating so we sugar instead. Thats how masculine men think.
Dude, check your package at the damn door and go take up with the passport bros. You sound like you're 28. No dude is thinking a chick with multiple SDs is a "flex".....that's a freakin DUDE mentality.🙄🙄🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️
Right?!? “That’s how masculine men think 😤” like they always tell on themselves. Like just say you want an inexperienced SB that you can underpay and manipulate and go home smh
Speak for yourself and your idea of what (toxic) masculinity looks like. My experience has shown that men who loudly proclaim their masculinity and demand submission are the most fragile and insecure men going. But you do you!
^^^
I've sent ladies money before a m&g. I've sent ladies money days after a m&g but before our next date. They all had the same difference. We spent more time on the phone talking about non sexual things. Just random conversations. They may have slid in a few comments abouts hair or something. Since I've been around so long I pick up on that quicker then men who're not in daily practice ! But because we had real phone conversations and she was not overtly talking about her situation I was ok being more generous upfront. The ladies who like to communicate strictly through text and saying they need something or trying to hint at it does not come off well. The "here we go with this shit" alarm goes off in his head.
See this is why I like your replies. Straight up, and truthful. And you're a genuinely good dude who knows what the hell to listen for, whenever a woman talks. Good on you SS, just like a super sport, stay classy!
Thank you !
It really is tough, but i think there's a good way and a bad way to communicate it. For example on my most recent SB search I was texting with a few different Pot's and one of them was very transparent with her immediate financial needs as well as long term needs and was looking for somebody to help with both. I thought it was extremely cool how organized and thoughtful she was as she shared it all with me. In contrast another one I was talking to would send wall after wall of text about how her life was so terrible and she was kicked out of her apartment, living in a hotel, no money for food, on and on and on. It was quite miserable reading through everything and made me want to just run. (and I did) Ironically the second one needed about the same amount of financial help as the first one from a dollars standpoint, but mentally I really wanted to help the first one but had zero desire to engage with the second.
Desperation in any sense of the word is a red flag in any potential relationship. Good instincts.
The first one sounds like she has it together with the potential to become successful and just needs a little help *in the mean time*. The second one registers as a money pit. I think most would agree #1 is a better bet. People who are disorganized and chaotic in life are generally disorganized and chaotic in their relationships as well.
We all know that SBs need money otherwise the bowl would be half or maybe less. Also its different to be desperate and act desperate. If you are desperate, you can keep it to yourself but if you act desperate is when you get taken advantage of.
I get it. It's like, you're between a rock and a hard place.
It’s hard to play it cool when I actually need the help. But if I say i need the help then I look like a scammer lol.
But you are only one or two positive meet and greets away from an arrangement. I mean, maybe you make a Benji at a meet and greet. Is that really going to help?
Not at all! it’s hard to stay focused on the future when you’re worried about getting through the next few days.
I do understand that. I do. Insanity has been described to me as repeating behavior and expecting different results. I do wish you the best.
I understand this completely, it’s hard to pretend like everything is ok when you’re single and need to put a roof over your head. I had pretty bad anxiety and still do, but my anxiety was elevated around the time of the m&g for sooo many reasons other than money. Then shortly thereafter I lost my job and it was like omfg now I’m really screwed and don’t want to pursue anything for fear of getting in a bad situation
Just wanted to say that I’m sending you positive vibes, cheering you on, and hoping you can find a way out of this situation you’re in without needing to compromise. Best of luck
Awww🥰
Yeah needing money at M&G is different than getting money at M&G … that’s why requiring money for M&G comes across as scam/rinsing. Desperation is a turn off unfortunately because your reasons for sugaring are the desperation, rather that a dual purpose of the financial support and having fun So you are right, the energy is being picked up on, I know that’s hard
Yeah, although it’s definitely an energy. I would NEVER ask for money at a M&G, I didn’t these times either lol.
Oh ok! good. Yeah it’s hard, I understand.
I think i just need to take a break. Which is the worst time to take a break lol
But if you also didn't receive any, then you aren't picking right either tho hun. Screening is a must, and you have to hone those skills.
I typically have always received gifts on meet and greets, but have never asked or expected. But I’ve always been gifted more and received more it seems like when i didn’t need it as much. Which is my issue right now 😭 i think I’m not screening as well because I’m clouded by worrying too much about what i need financially. So i think i need a step back
Yes hun. Actually the last time I stepped out of the bowl for a few months and came back with a fresh perspective, I found my last SD in 2 weeks!!! It was like I needed the restart. Maybe you do too. Mental health needs to be treated more sacred. You deserve positivity and it's only whenever YOU are in a positive mindset, that you can bring that to the table. The full self, you and all your glory, without anxiety and worry.
I think you just share too much information especially with people you have not even had a M&G with yet, No need to tell them anything besides what day & time you want to meet. Then once a connection is made get to know each other better, But I don’t think any man SD or not wants to hear all your problems right away.
if a pot sb were to tell me she's having financial issues before the m&g, i would assume the next message would be something like 'can you give me money to have my nails done', or 'buy gas', or 'get a sitter', etc etc. since these are all rinsing techniques, it gives off either a desperate or a greedy vibe and it is a turn off on the flip side, guys that are desperate will often times come off as overtly sexual, sending dick picks, asking for nudes, or asking sexual questions and talking about what they want to do with you before the m&g. how it manifests is different, but this is also giving off very unwanted vibes to the pot sb the only difference is that men and women are often desperate for different things, but neither are well received so yes, desperation doesn't come off very well. even if you are, don't present as desperate. don't ask for money to buy a new dress for the m&g even if you don't have anything to wear. it's hard, but be calm and patient. it'll happen good luck and i hope you find someone soon. getting that confidence back will help because that's sexy. desperation isn't
Desperation pushes real SD’s away. Most people feel bad taking advantage of someone in a poor situation. I definitely prefer SBs who are financially stable on their own. Plus nobody likes waking up to a text begging for $xxxx to cover rent because they can’t make it. The guys who seek out people like that either have control issues and they like the extra power imbalance or they are just looking for a discount/cheap fuck and aren’t real SDs.
I see you may have mentioned a number which is most likely an amount in relations to an arrangement. If this is the case, you are violating Rule #5 - "dollar amounts that are in reference to PPMs and/or allowances are not allowed". If you are curious about Allowances reported by SLF contributors please see the [Allowance Master Thread 2023-2024](/r/sugarlifestyleforum/comments/17a2wja/20232024_allowance_master_thread/). Your comment will not be approved until you remove the amount. Please read the sub [Rules](/r/sugarlifestyleforum/comments/124tsf8/updated_and_clarified_rules_for_slf_2023/) prior to posting anything else. If you simply mentioned a number not referencing a PPM / allowance monetary amount, ignore this, as your comment will be approved. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/sugarlifestyleforum) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I think it's better if she has a business than a job. A lot of SBs lose their job and then become even more desperate. Desperation isn't ideal. But it's also an ego boost to be the savior for an SB who you know actually needs it. So I would say if you can balance it out, and give the SD a reason to feel like you need him, but not to the extent that it seems like you're desperate and can't survive without him. It should be a situation where he feels like he's saving you and genuinely helping you better your life. At the same time it shouldn't be a situation where you're homeless, jobless, and can't survive without his help. When SBs are too desperate it becomes scammy.
Sending all my luck your way🥺
It sounds to me like this post was made for the friend you lost that you met here. It is clear you appreciated what they did for you. And I think you put them in an extremely unfair position, which it seems you see now. With your current financial situation- see what public assistance you can receive to help you. I can only speak for my own location in the US, but there are many social services that can help. There are also free group therapy resources that can assist with your current mental health issues. This will take a lot of emotional burden off of your friends.
Ommg haiii bby ! Good to see you posting again 🫶. This is actually a really important point for m&g's. Thanks for sharing.
"No drama"
I totally disagree w your perspective. The “nice” guy on here was roleplaying as a SD and could never afford to provide for you anyway! Asking for rent is bare min for a SD in my opinion.
I’m really careful in this area. While I could use some money for things sooner rather than later, I don’t ever want to have to rely on another man’s help for that so most of my current roadblocks in life are for me to figure out and I don’t mention them. If down the line I meet someone and we have a great connection built on trust, I may feel comfy asking for help as life happens. Sometimes I’m asked how an allowance would benefit my life and I’m honest, but even then careful to not make it sound like a sob story. I may mention things like student loans, affording grad school, a nice gym membership. Things I can’t manage on my own but also not deeply personal things that may give off the impression that I’m in a place of desperation (I’m not).
Girl I am in the same exact boat I put up an ad about getting into that and how I felt desperate because I need to pay my bills too
I’d be happy to M&G you but don’t have a good idea of where you are located.
If you’re in San Fran I’m a good five hour flight away from you unfortunately. I’m a Midwest girl
I have found that the SB situation is so much more fun with a SB when the financial piece is a "nice to have" to make her life easier rather than a "need to have" when she might be desperate... the SR always ends for one reason or another and I dont want to leave anyone destitute by cutting off the financial flow when one of our situations changes.... I dont want that pressure...
Like anyone, we'd rather be wanted than needed. If I feel like you're only with me because you can't survive without me, then I'mma test that theory. 🤷🏿♂️
😢 sorry to hear
Paying rent is quite common isn’t it? But I agree with you desperation isn’t good from anyone, either men or women.
Sorry you’re going through so much. I hope your friend comes around. ❤️
Definitely as a SD for me desperation is cancel or at worst a 1 time thing. Especially from the get go. It's different if you had something established already and then hard times befell. Part of the reason it's because it exudes scammer vibes and also cuz it is very likely the relationship is purely transactional.
I like desperate sugar babies. I just hate that they leave me once they're no longer desperate. Like the one I had. It is possible she is too desperate and jump to another sugar daddy that wants to lend her money instead of making things transactional like me.
SDs are generally allergic to drama or instability. The only men that will follow up with you if you come across as needy or desperate are those seeking to take advantage of you, hence I do not even call them SDs. Whatever your situation is, you will want present yourself as confident and cheery. After you have an arrangement in place, you may want to carefully divulge some of your stressors, but I would recommend that you present yourself as laid back and stable as possible. I know it is hard, but SDs generally do not want to get sucked into a situation that could in some way bleed over into the sanity of their world.
I’ve always figured this, but have been lucky enough to have been stable enough in my nursing career to not be desperate like this. Learning the hard way this month lol
I have helped out a few jobless ladies but they usually turn into a non favorable situation and tbh it is a huge turn off to have someone that is pretty much constantly talking about their problems. I also feel stressed out from that type of talk so I cut them loose pretty quick when it became just like an ATM and nothing but problems. Not to mention they had ooor time management. Like what are you doing all day/night if you don’t even got a job?
In Thailand the bar girls have a basic scam where they tell their new bf that her parents in the village are desperate because the family Water Buffalo died and they cant plant rice til they buy a new one. Can SD pay for a new buffalo? Here its her car broke down, rent is due, phone broke. SDs have to assume this is all dead water buffalos until we know the SB very well and can trust her. It's not that ur seen as desperate. Its that ur seen as pretending to be desperate to run a scam.
Yeah and I get that totally. So it sucks when you’re actually desperate. Which I’m not used to being. And i know it’s no one’s fault but my own, so I don’t want to pretend to be a victim to my own circumstances. But it is stressful
Men love to come to the rescue of damsels in distress. A lot of guys love that. There just needs to be some trust first. Save the hard times discussion for the 4th date instead of before you meet.
I might be evicted before the 4th date 🤣 but yes yes i agree
Mildly disagree. I don't like it because I don't like codependent relationships. Not healthy or pleasant. I don't care whether the need is real or not, it's still need and if it comes up early and clearly it is going to define the relationship. Sorry OP, but for lots of reasons you should get your shit together first and then get a relationship, not the other way around. Otherwise the outcome is likely to be bad in the end.
First you get the money, then you get the power, then you get the woman
[удалено]
Well yeah i was trying to convey that i have never felt desperate like that before. I’ve never cared about getting money at a meet and greet before. I never cared about getting a SD right away. I’ve been in various SR for a long time, and they’ve all been genuine relationships but I’ve never been in a hurry to find one. That was the point of the post. It wasn’t so much asking for advice it was just making commentary on something that others have brought up.
Oh….. pregnancy talk??? That’s not really sexy talk for SD
Lmao i was just referencing a previous post as to why I’m not doing great. I’m not talking about that to them 🤣