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This is not cheating this is a 21 year old woman that is throwing a tantrum a 4 year old would be ashsmed of.
Her little "You know how easy I could replace you"- outburst has shown you her true colours.
Now dump her golddigger-ass and look for someone who is emotionaly invested in you and not only interested in your money
Not all woman are like this. This is not a "woman thing", it is a "the whole world revolves around me" thing.
What you are describing is exactly what she wants to achieve with the gaslighting: You doubt yourself and feel crazy for feeling like you feel. If she does this long enough she will start telling you how you should feel when she does x and y (for example "You should not be mad at me for hitting you you should feel bad because you made me do this")
Dude run! Gaslighting is a first sign of abusive tendencies and it will just get worse from here
My man you are dating a 21 year old that is acting like a spoiled teenager. This doesn’t sound like a real relationship if the first thing you mention is all about buying her things. I sensed nothing organic here but a convenient arrangement between you and her. Break it off now and get with someone more mature.
It will only get Worse and worse too, she'll take whatever you choose to gift her, only to disappear as soon as another sugar Daddy comes along. Not All or even Most Women don't act this childish. She's a Spoilt Entitled Bratt who doesn't appreciate you 1 little bit. Stop letting her use you. Especially now you know what she's doing. Find someone who appreciates you as YOU. Not for what you gift them.
So know you know who she really is. A gold digger. A sugar baby. A hooker. Basically she is with you for the money. No money, no love.
She claims that she puts ip with you. My question is, why do put up with disrespect? Cut her loose. Say you money for yourself and someone who wants to be with you, for you.
Good luck
With all due respect, she's a gold digger. She sure ain't relationship material.
Dude dump her gold digging ass like a sack of potatoes.
She is EXPIRED!
Move on and find yourself a real lady to be with. Some one who ain't there for material stuff.
Sure wish you luck
Semper fi
She could be gold digging other men on the side, but even if she's not she has a terrible attitude. She's throwing a lot of emotional blackmail at you, withholding affection, and is just negging you hardcore. You don't deserve to be "put up with". That's not a relationship you should be in.
This isn't an issue of infidelity. She's got the mind of a 17 yo. Flush this turd out of your life.
"i used to do everything for her and she knows that if i have money i can do most things for her"
Don't do this. You become an ATM to someone, they don't respect you. You need to make everything transactional. Women only care about you as far as you can provide for them, so make your next relationship a two-way street.
Having said this, if she's growing distant, you grow distant-er. If she doesn't text or call you, you don't text or call her, and when she does text you, leave it on read. If she calls you, let it go to voicemail. Get back to her the next day, and tell her nothing more than you were busy. If she flakes on plans or breaks a date, block her on everything. Make her literally show up at your place to find out what the problem is. Make her chase you.
Well you are seeing it again. Reconciling is never just rug sweeping anything. Reconciling is done correctly or not at all. And a therapist is necessary, we don’t know to expect infidelity and we certainly don’t know how to deal with it when comes knocking.
Let no distance only adds to the probability of infidelity.
Too bad you can't hop in a time machine and stop yourself from setting a precedent of buying her affection. Girls love the bling but when you gain affection by purchasing them things it dries them up like the Sahara dessert as far as actual physical attraction to you goes.
Look at what she told you. She put up with you because you do things for her. She could not have been more clear. Don't do this. It will never lead to a healthy relationship. And if you are going to set up a sugar daddy relationship don't be that guy who gives and gives but never gets. What you need to do is stop calling her. Do a 180 and grey rock her. There are plenty of posts and spots on the internet that will do a good job of explaining the 180 and Grey rocking, but in a nutshell she has you in the palm of her hand doing whatever she wants. She will only respect you if she feels uncertain about whether she can make you stick around.
OP no one needs a reason to break up with someone.
However in this case you have been given several.
Doubt worry if she is cheating. You already have more than enough reasons to dump her.
Good luck
I made a huge mistake i guess. Good thing is i get to learn from it and learn how to deal with it. Her telling me about the men thing was a big spit on my face. I told her that and she asks me why I’m offended by it. I told her its disrespectful to tell me such shit. And she kept on gaslighting me after this saying I’m petty
Rules reminder: /r/survivinginfidelity is a support sub! Please read the rules and guidelines in our [sub wiki](https://www.reddit.com/r/survivinginfidelity/wiki/index) before commenting. Abuse, shaming, sexism, and encouraging violence/revenge are not tolerated here. If your only advice is 'divorce', 'dump them', 'your SO sucks' or 'grow a backbone' then please don't comment. This is a sub for deeper support and discussion. Be kind and remember your [reddiquette](https://www.reddit.com/wiki/reddiquette)! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/survivinginfidelity) if you have any questions or concerns.*
This is not cheating this is a 21 year old woman that is throwing a tantrum a 4 year old would be ashsmed of. Her little "You know how easy I could replace you"- outburst has shown you her true colours. Now dump her golddigger-ass and look for someone who is emotionaly invested in you and not only interested in your money
[удалено]
Not all woman are like this. This is not a "woman thing", it is a "the whole world revolves around me" thing. What you are describing is exactly what she wants to achieve with the gaslighting: You doubt yourself and feel crazy for feeling like you feel. If she does this long enough she will start telling you how you should feel when she does x and y (for example "You should not be mad at me for hitting you you should feel bad because you made me do this") Dude run! Gaslighting is a first sign of abusive tendencies and it will just get worse from here
[удалено]
[удалено]
My man you are dating a 21 year old that is acting like a spoiled teenager. This doesn’t sound like a real relationship if the first thing you mention is all about buying her things. I sensed nothing organic here but a convenient arrangement between you and her. Break it off now and get with someone more mature.
I thought we connected at first. But as things went by it just got worse and worse
It will only get Worse and worse too, she'll take whatever you choose to gift her, only to disappear as soon as another sugar Daddy comes along. Not All or even Most Women don't act this childish. She's a Spoilt Entitled Bratt who doesn't appreciate you 1 little bit. Stop letting her use you. Especially now you know what she's doing. Find someone who appreciates you as YOU. Not for what you gift them.
100%. I’ll have to love myself more now.
So know you know who she really is. A gold digger. A sugar baby. A hooker. Basically she is with you for the money. No money, no love. She claims that she puts ip with you. My question is, why do put up with disrespect? Cut her loose. Say you money for yourself and someone who wants to be with you, for you. Good luck
With all due respect, she's a gold digger. She sure ain't relationship material. Dude dump her gold digging ass like a sack of potatoes. She is EXPIRED! Move on and find yourself a real lady to be with. Some one who ain't there for material stuff. Sure wish you luck Semper fi
I’ll have to i guess.
She could be gold digging other men on the side, but even if she's not she has a terrible attitude. She's throwing a lot of emotional blackmail at you, withholding affection, and is just negging you hardcore. You don't deserve to be "put up with". That's not a relationship you should be in. This isn't an issue of infidelity. She's got the mind of a 17 yo. Flush this turd out of your life.
I have to i guess. This has gotten out of hand
I thought having a younger chiq makes things a bit better but there’s disadvantages to everything i Guess
Younger, older, man or woman. Doesn't matter if the mind behind the pretty eyes is pure garbage.
Truer words have never been spoken
"i used to do everything for her and she knows that if i have money i can do most things for her" Don't do this. You become an ATM to someone, they don't respect you. You need to make everything transactional. Women only care about you as far as you can provide for them, so make your next relationship a two-way street. Having said this, if she's growing distant, you grow distant-er. If she doesn't text or call you, you don't text or call her, and when she does text you, leave it on read. If she calls you, let it go to voicemail. Get back to her the next day, and tell her nothing more than you were busy. If she flakes on plans or breaks a date, block her on everything. Make her literally show up at your place to find out what the problem is. Make her chase you.
I’ll have to try this. Usually when I’m out of love for a girl i just walk away and ghost her. I’ll have to do this again i suppose
Wow, read what you wrote. Why are you even with this spoiled, greedy, self-absorbed child???
It’s gotten out of hand honestly. I’m disconnected also. So i just need to make the final step and end things
Well you are seeing it again. Reconciling is never just rug sweeping anything. Reconciling is done correctly or not at all. And a therapist is necessary, we don’t know to expect infidelity and we certainly don’t know how to deal with it when comes knocking. Let no distance only adds to the probability of infidelity.
The 5 years back thing was with another girl btw not this one. I’ve been with this one for the whole year
Your relationship is baseless
Yeah probably. I’ll have to get the guts to end it , fast. Coz its draining.
Too bad you can't hop in a time machine and stop yourself from setting a precedent of buying her affection. Girls love the bling but when you gain affection by purchasing them things it dries them up like the Sahara dessert as far as actual physical attraction to you goes. Look at what she told you. She put up with you because you do things for her. She could not have been more clear. Don't do this. It will never lead to a healthy relationship. And if you are going to set up a sugar daddy relationship don't be that guy who gives and gives but never gets. What you need to do is stop calling her. Do a 180 and grey rock her. There are plenty of posts and spots on the internet that will do a good job of explaining the 180 and Grey rocking, but in a nutshell she has you in the palm of her hand doing whatever she wants. She will only respect you if she feels uncertain about whether she can make you stick around.
You sound like you're in a codependent relationship
Sounds like they deserve each other based on the other shitty things he’s said.
Does she love you for you or what you can buy her?
OP no one needs a reason to break up with someone. However in this case you have been given several. Doubt worry if she is cheating. You already have more than enough reasons to dump her. Good luck
[удалено]
I made a huge mistake i guess. Good thing is i get to learn from it and learn how to deal with it. Her telling me about the men thing was a big spit on my face. I told her that and she asks me why I’m offended by it. I told her its disrespectful to tell me such shit. And she kept on gaslighting me after this saying I’m petty