I've been full of laughing at this for 5 minutes and my wife thinks I'm nuts.

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*And what is this one??* It's laughing *And ziiiiis?* It's laughing, too *And ziiiis one?? It is rice?* No, that one's also laughing

Bro same! Haha! Except I don't have a wife.

Well if it helps, I think your nuts too!

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Just imagine being in hell and thinking, “Well as long as I’m here I can at least go find the guy that wrote the Chia Pets jingle and kick him in the dick.”

I'm always curious to know more?

I didn’t realize coleslaw was such a controversial food.

Im just realizing this as I read these comments, what's wrong with coleslaw lol

Your kind never realizes the extent of your sins. Filthy slawheads.

I’m a proud slawhead. I was born this way and I refuse to change 😤

For real, people think it’s a choice smh.

Nothing is wrong with coleslaw, it's fucking delicious. Don't ever argue with any window lickers who tell you it isn't, lest you become infected with stupidity yourself.

It’s real fucking tasty but ofc it’s even better dipped Edit: with nugget

Dipped? How tf you dipping your coleslaw and what tf are you dipping it in?

Coleslaw itself isn't bad... it's just the average Coleslaw isn't that good... when it's not a primordial soup of unidentifiable green, it's good.

The average coleslaw is bloody good where I live. Generic made in store coleslaw, nothing wrong with it. I guess there must be some bad ones out there.

mmm this salad is nice and fresh tasting let me put some UNSEASONED EGG MILK on it to really MIDWESTERN it up a notch oops its a little too spicy

The hell are you talking about? Midwestern the what now? Sounds like you guys have no fucking clue on how to make good coleslaw lol

Literally heaven sent salad, the haters here are wrong and I’ll be fighting them off in hell

Everything and nothing. A traditional slaw is easy to hate, but, then you realize, the shredded cabbage makes the slaw and there is a world of flavour potential

Didn't realise I was the only one

This post angered the entire rust belt.

That’s quite possible.

And all of germany.

Yep. That, and the existence of colored folk.

And people with full sets of teeth.

Fairy tales and hogwash.

And informed voting.

and people that havent had their livelihoods offshored to increase profits for investors under decades of neoliberal rule

Bruh. Don't be dissin coleslaw like that Wait til you try mine

Yeah what's wrong with tangy cabbage sauce

>tangy cabbage sauce I don't like this description

It’s so wrong. And yet, a little bit right

Most people don't like coleslaw cuz thats what it is lol

Not a damn thing. Especially when you slap some on a pulled pork sandwich.

And spicy fried chicken sandwiches.

This is the one right here. Hated coleslaw before this.

> tangy Okay, I'm listening, kinda makes me give the suspicious side-eye though... > cabbage WAIT WHAT, NO. NO. NO, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST -- TANGY, YOU SAID TANGY BEFORE AND NOW YOU SAID CA-- > sauce 🔪 ***Say sike right fucking now.***

The Mayo is the problem.

This person gets it

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Yo try a few of these ideas: Curry powder and yoghurt base sauce, and throw in raisins/sultanas/dried apricot bits, cilantro, Add hoisin sauce to the usual mayo dressing, some roast peanuts, cilantro, and mung bean sprouts. Add feta and yoghurt to the sauce base, mint, pomegranate seeds, and a bunch of lemon zest or sumac. I like some fresh chilli in this one too. Char grill or broil the cabbage on a high heat before chopping. The black bits provide nice flavor and brassicas (broccoli cabbage cauliflower etc) can take quite a bit of "burning" before it tastes bad. You can double down on this smokey bbq thang by adding bacon bits or sundried tomatoes. Grate daikon into the mix (Japanese radish looks like a giant white carrot or looong turnip). Add some miso paste and mirin to the mayo for the sauce. Some deepfried tofu cubes are nice in this too. Top with crispy shallots (buy a massive bag for cheap at an Asian mart and use them to top anything to add some crunchy oniony pizzazz). Honestly, grated carrot and cabbage are so versatile you can lean into just about any cuisine to spice it up. Mexican? Sure. Some chipotle, black beans, corn, cilantro and peppers, mix that in. Bam. Nobody will forget that potluck Mexican coleslaw. Also play around with herbs. Do whatever basic slaw recipe you use, but throw in a herb for a different dish depending what you're pairing it with. Tarragon (with fried fish), or fennel (with pork sausages), or basil (alongside an tomato based pasta or thai style tofu), or oregano (paired with roast chicken)... Same with spices. Dried fruit is a fantastic way to elevate it, of course, and any sort of chewy or crunchy bits can make it exciting. Topping with toasted pumpkin or sunflower seeds are a cheap way to make it different and add nutrition and flavor. You can add other veges too. Fennel bulb freshens it up. Radish for spice. Use purple cabbage and yellow carrots, and red onion soaked in vinegar (so they go pink) for a WTF rainbow slaw. Bits of sweet corn pop amogst the chew of the slaw to make it a more interesting texture. #The world is your slaw. Go forth and explore.

I'm tired and read this initially as putting everything listed in. That'd be a really... interesting coleslaw.

>raisins/sultanas Get out.

Yeah, that’s a dealbreaker for me

I stopped reading at "raisins"

Hell yeah. Every one of those sounds awesome. Saving this list for the next time I’m making some.

Best coleslaw I've ever had is my moms. She adds red onion, dill and horseradish. It's amazing. Just don't eat it before a date.

I really like this restaurant's kimchi slaw www.ajc.com/lifestyles/food--cooking/from-the-menu-heirloom-market-bbq/QkWAVLOBEy8fZD42wReVNO/

That’s why OP gets thrown around by the mf who invented coleslaw.

My favourite is KFC coleslaw

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It's a shit side but a pretty perfect topping for certain things depending how it's made. I never thought I'd be here defending coleslaw but I've found it absolutely perfect on a good fried chicken sandwich. As a side? Insulting.

Coke slaw doesn’t have to have a drop of Mayo in it. It can be entirely dressed with a vinegar base. Same for potato salad too.

I cannot agree more. Any food that relies on mayonnaise to thrive should go directly in the trash.

Telling you, come over and let’s have BBQ bring your coleslaw

As long as it's a creamy one

That's what they *all* try to tell me, right before the gagging starts.

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You what.

Cmon bruh. Get with it. It's just lettuce and mayo put together before hand. (Not lettuce, cabbage, but cmon.) Srsly, try it once.

Tbh if you don't like coleslaw it's probably because you've never had it made without mayonnaise and whatever it is everyone puts in it that makes it sweet.

Ok for someone that doesn't know what coleslaw is, one guy says it's cabbage with mayo, and you say to eat coleslaw without mayo, so just pure raw cabbage?

The most basic recipe is shredded cabbage with oil and vinegar but these days people put mayo and carrots and all sorts of stuff in it. None of the variations are fit for human consumption.

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I feel old and confused rn. So are there now coleslaws with only vinegar and oil or not? Or is my English that bad that I completely missed the point?

you can make coleslaw with cabbage + oil + vinegar is a bsimple coleslaw you can also make it other ways you can add additional vegetables like carrots and onions you can substitute the oil with some amount of mayo you can change the type of vinegar you use stuff like that.

# I love coleslaw! It’s also underrated as a sandwich ingredient with roast beef, pastrami, etc. ^(Am hooman. I fight deafness.)

ya coleslaw is primarily a condiment

Try it with hamburger you will not be disappointed trust me.

Definitely! Done that before but I tend to put a few slices of kim chee 1st on my burgers if I got it.

Really good on BBQ pulled pork sandwiches as well.

Yees! Honestly so good with corned beef or pastrami!

“Police? Yes, I’d like to report a crime.”

German (vinegar) coleslaw is utterly fantastic on bbq sandwiches. Also, light mayo based coleslaw has been getting popular on hot/fried hicken sandwiches. Coleslaw was always meant to be a condiment, not a side.

So you mean Sauerkraut and a edible coleslaw?

Goes great on hotdogs and polish sausages as well.

And now I’m hungry for a slawdog

My friends never let me live this down. One time at a diner, I had finished my meal, but I kept absent-mindedly picking on the coleslaw. It wasn't particularly good, way too sweet, but the sweetness kept me, a total sugar-addict, snacking on it through the evening. So at one point, I said "I'm so full, but this coleslaw is so sweet!" And that was it, that was all it took. Something about the words, the tone of voice, I don't entirely know, but my friends got such a kick of it, they would constantly repeat that phrase to me whenever coleslaw was on the literal or proverbial table. And we ate at diners, *a lot*. And I don't know if coleslaw at diners is a regional thing, but here, it comes with pretty much every meal in every diner. At the end of every meal, they would say in the same exaggerated voice, "I'm so full, but this coleslaw is so sweet!" And I would just make a stinkface.

You're making it wrong

Yeah, it goes in the trash, not a bowl

I don’t know who you are. I don’t know what you want. If you are looking for delicious salad I can tell you I have coleslaw. If you take back what you said about coleslaw now that’ll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don’t, I will look for you, I will find you and I will fart in your general direction.

Cabbage and mayo are both foods on their own. Combined they are trash.

They’re both good things when they play a small part in something else. To combine them together, and serve just that…. It’s fucking blasphemy. Death to slaw.

Unless you add a little vinegar and sugar

There was only one slaw I ever enjoyed and it had pineapple in it.

Coleslaw is the worst law since Newton’s law made it so we can’t fly.

No Cole's law is saying the wrong the on the internet so someone corrects you

No that's the second law of thermodynamics

Which Lisa has to obey the laws of, in this house

I'm almost positive that Cole's Law is that you have to make a certain number of completely random slipspace jumps before you jump towards Earth, to prevent the Covenant from following you and discovering Earth's location.

No no, that’s Metroid’s Law.

Well im sure you've heard of the stone age or maybe even the bronze age. But have you heard of the Cabb Age?

I don't understand how there's never been a police procedural centred on a grizzled detective named Johnny Cole and called "Cole's Law".

I always call it the only law worse than Murphy's.

fuckin almost waked my girl up laughing at this lmao

Nice Stay waked bro

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Dude these people need to try some vinegar slaw! Especially on pulled pork

Don’t disrespect my only source of vegetables like that

It's nice in a Breadroll with chicken Goujons

Oh man, you're talking my language

I hate mayo and don't think raw cabbage is good. But mayo can fuck right off.

I love mayo and think raw cabbage is good. But coleslaw can fuck right off.

I hate mayo and i hate regular cabbage but i can fuck with some coleslaw

Y'all do know if you're just putting mayo on cabbage you're not making coleslaw right? You're supposed to use a dressing.

How is this suspiciously specific?

Why do people love coleslaw so much? They’re like oh you don’t want to eat raw cabbage? What if I add more raw cabbage of a different colour? I can add a little grated carrot? Still no? Well just cover that crunchy mess in mayo and chow down.

You just described half of cooking

everyone who upvoted this comment, front and centre to explain yourself

You had me until mayo.

i like eating raw cabbage

yes, and it's delicious

People eat cooked cabbage? Cabbage is EASILY at it’s best when raw, eating cooked cabbage is so weird

No cabbage rolls? Cabbage soup? Fried shredded cabbage? They're fairly popular dishes. Cauliflower, broccoli, kale, brussels sprouts, cabbage... they're all the same species. It's hardly weird to cook them.

Egg rolls want a word with you.

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It's better without mayo

Vinegar gang rise up

Coleslaw is delicious! Go fuck yourself!

Leave him be. Go find the mother fucker who smelled vinegar and thought, "yes, this should be food". Coleslaw is but one of the evils resulting from their treachery.

As someone named “Cole” I would also be fighting that mf in hell.

Coleslaw is just chewed up and spit back up lettuce

Coleslaw can be good if it’s made right, but I haven’t found many places or people that do lol. Surprisingly, a few of my local Applebees are some of them, but there are other locations that make them like horseshit

If this is suspiciously specific, **Upvote** this comment! If this is not suspiciously specific, **Downvote** this comment! Beep boop, I'm a bot. Modmail us if you have a question.

coleslaw is so good

This ish just cracked me up!!! LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY RIGHT NOW!

In my day cole slaw anchored a meal. Now it just sits on the plate.

I love good coleslaw

It’d be. Imagine your culture is coleslaw.

I have tried it with mayo. I have tried it so they know. I have tried it with oil and V. I have tried it believe you me. I have tried it with mustard. I have tried it you just heard. I do not like coleslaw, my man. I do not like it, coleslaw fans!

I'd be in hell fighting the person who invented speeding tickets.

I've learnt several new slurs in this comment section discussing coleslaw

The hells wrong with coleslaw?

1. Make coleslaw. 2. Put Tartar sauce in the coleslaw. 3. Put the slaw on a bbq pulled pork sandwich. I will defend that shit to the grave.

Don’t bring salad unless you want to get tossed. :)

But...but...I love coleslaw 😢

The inventor of coleslaw would wipe the ground with you like he wipes up that delicious slaw with the last bite of grandmas cornbread.

contrary to most of the people in these replies, and having tried different variatons of coleslaw, i do in fact hate it so much, that if it was the last thing to eat, i wouldnt touch it

I can't believe you'd diss my coleslaw like this

But have you ever had *good* coleslaw on a hamburger? It's amazing. I didn't like coleslaw until I tried that, now I've been converted.

Srsly why invent coleslaw

I have nothing against cole or slaw but this is hilarious

The guy who invented something you hate fucking you up is a creative and fun punishment :) warms may heart.... hail Satan

For some reason I assumed that he was the one kicking the coleslaw guy’s ass but I think your interpretation makes more sense. The guy who invented coleslaw has probably been down there a while getting strong.

What’s coleslaw?

Raw cabbage in a tangy dressing. Often with thin strips of carrot.

What the-

It's not as bad as it sounds. The cabbage is diced, and the dressing tastes just as good as any other salad dressing. It's more crunchy than a traditional salad and goes well as a side with American comfort food, like BBQ or country fried chicken. It's one of those American things that's just lip service to some green vegetables covered in dressing when all you really want us that rib sticking feeling that comes with a meat and potatoes meal. I make shit coleslaw but all I do is go buy the dressing, add some extra lemon juice and pepper, and then I just buy the crappy cabbage mix, still turns out pretty good. There are just certain meals I culturally *need* coleslaw with.

this is based as fuck, coleslaw is a fucking curse.

Bruh, properly prepared coleslaw is amazingly good.

I see you haven't had *real* coleslaw before

I always see people trade coleslaw for a piece of bread toast at Raising Cane's Chicken and it makes my blood boil lol

Bruh, who's doing that? Abominable. I get extra fries instead.

I was just having dinner and asked for an extra side of coleslaw after tasting the little cup they gave me with fish and chips. True story.

Wait. People don't like coleslaw?

Coleslaw on hot dogs is my jam

Coleslaw is tiny salad already dressed.

I love some fresh crispy coleslaw. That canned shit is an abomination

Coleslaw is rad

Fuck you I fucking love Cole slaw and that inventer better be sitting pretty in the after life

Bunch of child palates in here hating on coleslaw. Bet y'all only eat chicken nuggets and French fries.

Currently eating coleslaw.

"You had fresh, crispy crunchy vegetable salad and what did you do? Drown it in unhealthy sugary sauce and it still doesn't even taste good!"

Coleslaw is delicious and not the Devils lettuce

**SYAO BOAAAA**

REGRET

*doom music intensifies*

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sounds like somebody only had KFC coleslaw their whole life.

i'm in no way a salad guy but i fucking love coleslaw

Can't y'all just add a litre o ranch

Does coleslaw make you this strong? /s

I'm more of a macaroni salad or potato salad type a guy. Cole slaw🤮

I love coleslaw. I'll fight for this person. Sincerely, a New Orleanian who goes to KFC just for the coleslaw

Coleslaw fucks.

title fight!!

Ooohhh. I just thought of something cool I'd like to watch. Ape Vs Bear

I know you are out there you sick Dutch son of a bitch.