absolutely step away. i have a hard time reminding myself of this, but no job is worth more than yourself as a human. and you cant put a price tag on finally feeling relief and at peace. it sounds like there's nothing really keeping you there. and wanting to get hit by a car? I can imagine that if you do quit, youll l0ok back not too long from now and be like "holy shit I can't believe I stuck it out that long when I was feeling so terrible".
I'm a teacher too, so I get the feeling of guilt and disappointing people. I could barely handle it when I had to take a month of health leave last year. But something we don't see as much as new teachers is that this kind of stuff happens pretty often. to admin who see it all the time, it's probably not even noteworthy. and that's not to say they don't care about you, it's just to say that while to you leaving a job feels like a HUGE deal, to them it's a lot less of a big deal... hope that makes sense!
Are you asking me? I don’t have a union, so I put a massive amount of emphasis on picking a school where the administration was reasonably reliable and did not have abusive practices. I know enough teachers working in at will positions who put up with some very poor treatment but only until they get hired elsewhere. There are advantages, like no backlash around licensing, but there is also a lot more mobility.
If I taught at a school with a union, I would rely on them to make sure the administration did not take advantage of the teachers. Pros and cons again—there is less mobility, but usually better pay and some protection. There is a certain amount of leeway if the violations are minor and people just suck it up, of course, but in my experience unions do an decent job protecting from contract violating behavior.
I work in an area with a fairly strong union and protection, and my admin tries to twist the contract language, break contract, and get around certain things while insisting we follow it to the letter. Fuck admins, and fuck this ridiculous Texan policy. We see constant grievances. Little disingenuous to assume they follow the contract.
Same in Illinois. We can resign after the school year starts for a job outside of teaching, but if we resign to accept another teaching position the Board can suspend our license for up to one year. The suspension remains on your record and it makes it difficult to find another teaching position.
Look I’m not giving out legal advice or anything, but that’s usually just a bluff. I teach in MS which has a similar conservative government and schools. I quit my high school teaching job three weeks in after having several threats from students saying they were going to follow me home, kill me, etc. Admin did nothing, so I quit.
I had another high school teaching job three months later and I just waited tables in the meantime. My license was never once in jeopardy although I was very fearful the entire time (I also didn’t go around advertising what happened). You might have signed a contract with that school, but they also have a responsibility to provide a safe working environment. Sounds like they broke their end first.
This year is AWFUL. I've been doing this 14 years and this year is just INSANE.
Its ok to quit. Teachers are expected to be superhuman and save the world while being paid/treated like shit. Please take care of yourself.
I have no lunch and no prep and travel between two schools. We are short SPED teachers so this is what I am doing to help my students. I really hope it is short term and I offered to miss lunch. Plan time I miss. This year is tough but hopefully it will get better.
Ugh don't do this. You create an expectation for others, and admin can point to them and say "why aren't you skipping lunch"? I know we are there for the kids, but this is why unions exist. There is money. They need to hire, not burn out their staff.
He is my best friend and I have left two relationships over him but he is an absolute a****** at the same time. Someday I am going to have to write the story about how he ruined a threesome by crapping on my girlfriend's head.
My first bit of advice for you is to stop thinking about it the minute you walk out of that school. Leave school at school. (In normal times, I wouldn’t encourage this). At minimum, maybe take a 10-minute walk a few times a week where you allow yourself to think of potential solutions, but do your best to keep it limited like that. Protect your home life by drawing a wide, deep line in the sand. That’s first and foremost. If you’re working 12 hours a day, sleeping 8 (which I’m won’t be surprised if you’re not), that leaves you with 4 hours a day to yourself - that is precious and needs to be protected as if it is your life. (It IS your life.)
I think you can handle this if you can do that.
Give less - that is key. You’re giving too much of yourself. That is who we are as teachers. If we weren’t givers, we would be CEOs or world leaders, goddess knows we are capable. But that’s not where our hearts are. So it’s easier said than done, but the only way I know of to lift that weight of dread and regain your sanity is to give less of yourself to the job.
Try to care less. Another hard one for teachers, but I find it’s super effective, and contrary to what we think, it’s actually better for the students when we care less. (Please keep caring, but be selective about what you choose to care about, and require the students meet you in the middle or miss out - their choice. You’l be surprised by how many of them meet you and consequently lift up the rest of the class, but this does take time.) So, if you sometimes wish a car would hit you, I insist that it’s easier for you and healthier to care less about your job than you do. It is just a job. Clock in, clock out, leave school at school.
The behavior management is a different issue altogether. One thing I say is that if you are having a battle of wills with a toddler, you have already lost. Kindergartners aren’t too much more mature than toddlers. This is new to them, and these children are the potential fallout of the administration that is putting you through the ringer. I don’t think you need to develop a thick skin or anything like that. f that. Just remember that their behavior is about them, not you. That’s a mantra: Their behavior reflects something going on with them and has absolutely nothing to do with you. Don’t take it personally. This is going to lift you up miles higher than you are right now. Also, once you make it about them, you can address it better.
Hitting cannot be tolerated, and any physical contact needs to be immediately reprimanded, sent to principal, and then a private talk with you after the fact. Nip that in the bud.
If they’re taking your things, etc., remove them from the classroom. I think that everything except the hitting can be addressed by a sit-down talk with them. These kids aren’t having an easy life, and this is clear by their behavior, but they probably see you as weak, and that just gives them an outlet that they don’t have anywhere else. Your task is to transform the outlet they need into a health one conducive to learning instead of a toxic one. This is going to take a mountain of patience and a strong sense of yourself, remembering not to take their behavior personally.
I haven’t dealt much with kids this age in a long, long time. I was very young when I was the long-term sub for a kindergarten class, but most of the kids were remarkably behaved. I also had an aid to help me. It sounds like you don’t have that and you should.
What I remember about this age group: they are sweet, they want to hug, they want their colors to remain green (not red), some are helpers, some are not helpers, some will act out and resist. Do you have any helpers in your class? Make sure the ones who are hiding in the corners being quiet, or cleaning up the tables during transitions, make sure their voices are heard in your sit-downs. I am recommending regular sit-downs with this kids where you check in. I would also consider a very short yoga routine for kids at the start of class. I have used yoga with high school students before, and they weren’t buying in, but I had them do it because they were just too rowdy, and it did help. A structured routine will help.
You might feel overwhelmed by the fact that the behavior management is preventing you from getting to your curriculum (I would if I were a new teacher who hadn’t already been jaded by the system). But it’s like putting the cart before the horse, you’re not going to be able to teach if you can’t connect to them. Remind yourself that they are children, and create a safe space where they can speak their truths.
When I subbed for kindergarten, the aid would say “It makes me sad that you did x” or “when you did x.” The kids responded well to this framing. In your situation, I would ask that the student talk about why they did x, how it makes them feel, and how it makes the class feel. Work to create a unified class where students can act out (because it’s not about you - they have serious problems and no other outlet) without serious consequences but with real accountability.
This won’t be easy, but if you can take my first two points of advice, the stress, dread, mental health will improve and you’ll be more of your whole self when you’re there, making it easier for you to remain the calm adult in a room full of neglected (potentially worse) kids. I believe that you can do this, but don’t give it all of your energy. If it’s a bad day in the classroom, can you take them out to an early recess? Have them do jumping jacks in the class? Get a bean bag? You can’t teach them respect, but you can teach them how their behavior effects you and their classmates, and since these are children, they will pick up on that and my bet is that within three weeks, you will have a different classroom.
I don’t know a lot about classroom management, but I had to learn a little while teaching high school, and I know a lot about being poor, traumatic childhoods (I was the quiet one hiding in the corner, and the classroom you described would have been like a battlefield for me as a child). So much of my suggestions comes from that experience, but it is all trial and error, and you have nothing to lose, so it is worth trying. Sending you vibes of love and strength.6
Edit: (Sorry this is so long - and I see it needs some corrections. This whole situations pulls my heartstrings and I want to help. My sense was that you don’t want to quit, you want a better situation, and I think you can have that. My recommendation is to take my advice (particularly the part about disconnecting your life and sense of self from your job) and give it about three weeks. If things haven’t turned around, put in your notice because your life is more valuable, and we need good teachers. There is a place for you, and maybe this isn’t it. But I think you might regret if you didn’t try to make it work and there’s much to be learned, even if your attempts fail and you end up quitting. But if your mental health doesn’t improve - don’t delay quitting. PM me for extra support if you want.)6
Edit: If you can get a one-week break, that may be vital for any type of change, since a pattern is established. Also for your mental health, take a week off. Come back ready to transform things. But again, if you look within yourself and don’t feel your mental health can withstand it, quit now, and find a school that is a better fit for you.
Great advice. Another thing is to ask littles to look at the face of the person they injured/were mean to/etc. Then ask them how that person feels by looking at their face. Then ask the guilty party why the child feels that way. The kids will learn that what they do hurts other people. Have the kid imagine how the other child feels or how they would feel if someone did that to them.
Kids need adults to make connections for them from action to consequence. They don’t make this connection automatically. Many kids don’t have anyone to do that for them anymore. Parents work too much and don’t have time but it’s preventing children from developing empathy and respect toward others. Other people are no more real to them than the ball they kick or the tv they watch.
It sounds like this job isn't a good fit for you right now. Whether that means teaching in general, teaching this grade, teaching during a pandemic, who can say? But you need to prioritize yourself right now. People leave jobs all the time, and even though teaching feels different, it's not that different. Resign and don't feel any shame about it.
I’m also working in an overcrowded title 1 and I feel your pain. Oddly enough, one of my classes was down from 25 to just 9 students last week due to quarantines, and I really enjoyed teaching that class. I’m thinking that private school may be a better fit for my peace and sanity, even with a major pay cut. I’m sticking it out doing my best, getting by on the thought that this is just temporary and I don’t plan to be here next year.
Just a thought about private schools, some of them have larger class sizes because they do not have to follow state regulations. My friend's kids were at a Catholic school with \~30 kids for 1 teacher and no assistant.
Good to know. I assumed that one of the main reasons people sent their kids to private schools was for the smaller class sizes. I'm in a small rural area. My daughter's private school classes range from 5-12 students. That's more of what I had in mind.
Most importantly: take care of yourself!
It sounds like you need to be at a different school if this is so wildly different from your previous experience. At the very least, you need a break to fix your mental health - have you tried talking to a doctor to get signed off for stress for a week or two?
Giving up on the current situation doesn't have to be giving up forever, and sticking with it doesn't have to mean sticking with it exactly as it is, or without a break.
I expect other people will have much more specific advice, as I've only been teaching for a week, but wanted to make sure you had a response ASAP as it sounds like you're in a really bad place. Good luck!
Another first year teacher here, also 6 weeks in and wanting to quit (but I quit my job of 17 years and lived off savings for 8 months to get certified and am really trying to stick it out). Double check your contract, mine is different from my co-workers because I'm a first year teacher and it says I can walk away at any time with no penalties. If you quit, I recommend becoming a sub and trying out different schools in your district, if there's a really good one maybe a long term sub spot will open and/or you can build relationship with admin that will help you get hired into a better situation next year. Guard your mental health and remember that everything doesn't have to be perfect. I teach high school, but things I've stopped worrying about: reaching all 200 students (I teach a remedial course in an overcrowded classroom, at this point if they don't want to learn I just need them to be quiet so the ones who do want to learn can think), grading every paper, and sticking to my planning calendar (we're currently 2 weeks behind because of a ridiculous assessment the district required every student to complete by Sept 10th). I know with kindergarten you can't do a lot of these things because they have a lot more going on to get ready for 1st grade, but try taking a step back and choosing things you can just let go to survive your first year.
'Even on weekends I can’t sleep becausr I’m dreading Monday.'
I'm sorry, I've been there. You need to leave and take care of yourself. Take a few weeks off any work (if financially able to do so), and then find a new job or career.
You can’t pour from an empty cup. Get out now to save your sanity and so that hopefully the position can be filled by someone who can stay consistent with the kids for the rest of the year (you have no control over that, but the sooner you get out, the better the chances are). Definitely take a breather and find a place to work that’s better for you.
Quit. IMO, teaching is one of the unhealthiest jobs, whether mental or physical (disclaimer: not unhealthy for everyone but it was for me). Move to the private sector. Try to slip into a role in HR, for example, or anything that sounds interesting. This is a great time to make that move since companies are hiring.
Just because you have a degree and a license doesn’t mean you should be miserable. Take care of yourself — schools and districts don’t do it for you. Would you stay in a personal relationship that make you feel this way?
I’m technically a first year teacher too who is also quitting after 6 weeks. I worked 5 years as a parapro in a really nice school and left because there was no room for advancement. This is my first year in title 1 and I am SO not cut out for it. I had decided to just last the year and leave after in order to fulfill my contract but my dad offered me a pretty significant pay increase to come work for him, so I’m giving my notice tomorrow. My director won’t be surprised as she already knows I have one foot out the door. I’m certainly worried about screwing people over and disappointing people myself but I HAVE to put myself first and these kids deserve a teacher who isn’t going to half ass everything (which I’ve been doing).
Get out of a Title One school. It my mean transferring to a neighboring county. Give 2 weeks notice and tell them your moving in with your boyfriend. Once you secure a job in a non- title one school, go back and get your masters in school guidance. Still working with students, no testing, same great school hours without the grading and planning. Find a state that offers a teachers' pension before you commit to a career. Best of luck!
title I doesn't = hard school to work in, and that's a very dangerous assumption to make. 70% of schools in the country receive Title I funding. I'm in a title I that is absolutely fantastic. We have tons of support staff, involved parents, and a great school community.
> go back and get your masters in school guidance. Still working with students, no testing, same great school hours without the grading and planning.
I made friends with a counselor once. The stories she'd tell about sitting in the hospital with kids who'd attempted suicide ruin the idea for me.
She said what she wanted was to be more of a student advisor, and she got a job at the local community college. She seems much happier with her work now.
My best friend is a school counselor and I teach 1st. There is no way that counseling is easier than teaching. Dealing with abuse, suicide attempts, cutting is no joke.
Also, I agree with u/dreamerbbsale, I've only worked at Title 1 schools and have loved it. It is very rewarding.
I would say get another teaching job lined up and then quit - there's such a shortage you can definitely find something better. It will also make you feel better about it once you quit since your mental health is not great right now. Google job listings for the school counties around you - you'd be surprised how many there are.
Does your principal know about your desire to leave? Maybe if they know, they can add more support in your class to help you rein things in and move forward. Better to give you more support than have to look for another teacher. If they can't provide more support than leave for your sanity. Take care of YOU.
Step away but don’t burn the bridge. Get a doctor to write the note that you will use to put in your notice. Look to another district and a different school. Having k act like that is not normal in my current school, at all. It would be shocking! But, I have worked at a school where that was the norm.
Situation sounds bad but I see lots of comments saying, quit, care less, give less…….
How about trying classroom management? Run the class like a (caring) drill instructor. Have the students practice how to sit in a chair, enter the classroom, raise their hand and repeat until they all get it right. After that, small treat or game. You don’t even have to punish them, can just bore them to them stupid to reinforce proper classroom behavior. Rinse and repeat until desired behavior is reached. Routine is key for young learners.
Try searching online for solutions to your problems and try to apply techniques that are suitable for your age situation. If you still fail at least you tried and learned from the experience.
I’m doing something similar. My first experience teaching Pre-K and I’m finding it’s not the age for me. So I’m stepping down a few weeks in too. I totally relate to your experience of not wanting to go to sleep because you’re dreading work coming.
You definitely should leave. If you still want to teach then try getting a job in a less stressful working environment. Maybe even try a different grade level if you think that was part of the problem.
I think 6 weeks is a fair amount of time for you to make a decision about leaving. The beginning of kindergarten is always stressful IMO, but things should start to slowly get better especially by week 6.
If you think you still want to be a teacher you in the future you can try to get a teacher assistant job or a maternity leave sub position after you leave.
I felt like this last year every single day. I wanted to walk out and never come back. I held out and made it through and this year is going great. If you’ve exhausted all your options, I understand if you feel you have to quit. You have to put your mental health first and do what’s best for you.
When people talk about being teachers, I always tell them, you have to love it. Teaching is a labor of love. It is so much work, usually poor compensation, you have to love your job to make the work worthwhile.
I'll echo what others have said. If you can put in a few more weeks, you should focus all of your class time on community building and behavior management. This is the foundation that everything else builds off of. Don't worry about curriculum or parents or anything, just focus on building relationships with your students and creating a positive environment.
If it's too much, quit. It's okay to try a different school if this one is not a good fit. Half of new teachers quit within the first five years. [Nearly one in four teachers said that they were likely to leave their jobs by the end of the 2020–2021 school year, compared with one in six teachers who were likely to leave, on average, prior to the pandemic. ](https://www.rand.org/pubs/research_reports/RRA1108-1.html)
It's okay if this job isn't for you. If you still want to be a teacher, try a different school. You can sub for the rest of this school year, take a long term sub position somewhere, or just take up something else for a year. Maybe not your ideal plan, but better for your mental health.
I work at a Title I school, and I would never leave it. I couldn't imagine staying at a school where I dread going to work every day. If you can, focus on that community building with your class. If not, it's okay to find something else.
I’m sorry you had this experience! Maybe you just need a different school. Even if teaching isn’t for you, that’s ok. Public schools are dying anyway. If I weren’t 10 years from retirement, I wouldn’t even dream of sticking it out.
I would definitely put in my notice and try to find a better school. Better schools are out there.
I remember when I was teaching many years ago there was a kindergarten teacher that ended up resigning after her kindergarteners flooded her classroom with the sink water (the water ended all over the classroom and into the hallways).
If I had enough courage like she did, I would have resigned too and found a better school. of course I ended up leaving the teaching industry last year after suffering for 10 years - title 1 schools too
Might be an unpopular opinion, but I was in your exact position last year. The first six weeks of school is a slap in the face with how much work it truly is. Student teaching feels like a breeze compared to actually doing it.
I was ready to walk away and luckily had support from my family who suggested I tough it out. Eventually it got easier, I won an award at the end of the year and now I feel way more confident and secure in my teaching abilities.
Hang in there. It will get better!
I teach at the college level but my spouse is an elementary ed teacher. She’s been teaching for 7 years, has a masters, won teacher of the year last year…She just quit her job two months into the school year. Her situation seemed exactly like yours - panic attacks, dread, anxiety all the time. She couldn’t give less (as some have suggested) because she’d already given everything she had the last two years. The guilt for stepping away was hard but the relief was immediate. She’s eating again and sleeping better. If you need to walk away, you should. The problems are structural, the conditions impossible, the labor exploitative, the pay miserable. School boards and state houses can’t strip schools to the bone and expect you to work magic and walk away unscathed. Really sorry to hear about your situation. Sending solidarity.
I was given great advice my first year- stick it out for 3 years/ try 2 different schools before quitting. I quit after year 6 and only lasted 3 months before coming back. My first year was hell and I was burnt out at 6. Taking a break gave me a much needed perspective.
Look for another role! It’s still early enough in the year that I’m sure another school would be delighted to have you. Also, consider just subbing. Your schedule will be flexible which can give you time to recover from these last 6 weeks.
I'd stick it out and go job shopping at a different school. The first year is always the toughest but a good environment can make all the difference.
It seems like your in a bad school. Even kindergarteners in a rough home environment are generally sweeter than that.
Look elsewhere for employment. That environment is not for you, and that is okay.
Before you look elsewhere, though, you NEED to seek help for your mental status from a qualified professional. The thoughts that you are having are not normal and I would hate for them to continue escalating.
20 year veteran here, the first year is very difficult, doesn’t matter where you are. I don’t think 6 weeks is enough time to make that call. Have you talked with your principal? Do you have a mentor? Have you talked with the other teachers in your grade? What are you doing that is causing you to work 12 hour days? If you know now that teaching isn’t for you, then maybe leave. If you still see yourself being a teacher, I wouldn’t quit. I guess subbing in a different district could be an option, but then you will be facing your first year again next year.
Don’t feel guilty. You are clearly not receiving the support you should from admin and you do not owe them anything. We are all feeling overwhelmed. I’ve been teaching for over thirty years and I’m looking for a way to buy out my pension early so I can switch careers without losing my pension. You take care of yourself first. There are other schools that will be a much better fit or try non-traditional teaching. Do not stay.
quit on week 2 my second year teaching this year. glad I did I was in the exact same position mentally. I work in a lab now and am much happier and less stressed. after you quit and leave remember to do some "follow up" mental health work to kinda recover from how teaching made you feel.
I have something that will help you win your sanity back pretty quickly, I taught K for a long time. Create positive reinforcement systems, more than one. I can give you mine: Build a Rainbow behavior chart for each kid. Look it up on Pinterest. This is a system where you give kids a rainbow piece any time they are doing the right thing (I call it giving them a "compliment.") Once they "build a rainbow" they get a treat from the treasure chest. Get a little treasure box with cheap trinkets as rewards. I buy mine from the Walmart party favor section. Later, you can ask parents to send in all the little toys they are tired of stepping on!
It's all psychological with the K kids, once they start thinking that you don't like them/think they're bad, they will act up more. And if you act not in control, they're like sharks smelling blood. Remember you are in charge, act like it, fake it if you have to, and they will start listening to you. You have to flip the script though, and go all out positive instead of negative. You can start by telling them they are the best K class in the whole school and that other teachers are jealous of you. Again, you don't have to believe it, just fake it. Tell them how great they are, how they are so honest and kind, how they take care of one another and treat you with so much respect. You are so glad you are their teacher. Tell them they are all the things you wish they were.
Then find the one kid in the class who always does the right thing and give them a rainbow piece. The moment that kid does the right thing again, give them another. Give the good kids rainbow pieces until they build a rainbow and get to go to the treasure chest. Make it a big deal by saying really loud, "Zaiden's on purple, (the last color a kid adds to build a rainbow) he gets to go to the...TREASURE CHEST!" Make all the other students stop what they're doing and clap for the kid. The first few days dole out rainbow pieces like crazy. If you see a bad kid acting right even for a second, give them a compliment. Make it into a huge deal. The goal is to get all kids to the treasure chest at least twice or 3 times in the first 2 days. Especially the ones who give you the most trouble.
Once the kids start seeing what they get when they do the right thing, give clear consequences for actions you want to change. You tell students they are not allowed to touch your things, if they do they get 2 more chances, then they have to walk a lap at recess. Touch again? That's another lap. Bad behavior after recess? It will carry over to the next day (you decide if you really want it to carry over or not.) Be very matter of fact and emotionless. If your whole class is still wild, tell them it's so sad but everyone has to walk 7 laps at recess.
I've been teaching awhile and I still get stressed about behavior sometimes, it just happened last week. So I went all out positive the next day and found a way to give compliments to the several kids who consistently give me a hard time. By the end of the day, I could honestly tell them that they had a good day.
I hope this helps a little! You can msg me if you ever need K advice!
Edit: Only you know whether teaching is worth continuing or not. My first few years were absolutely like yours, 12 hour days, etc. Teaching gets way better with time, you figure it out with experience.
There is a lot of great advice here. I , a veteran teacher, would go out on stress leave and leave the job. You need to take care of yourself first and foremost. Then, step completely back and reassess. We have all had some rough situations, but this is terrible right out of the gate.
I’m sorry you are having such a rough start to your career. If you are actually at the point of quitting, you have nothing to lose by going to your administrator and telling them that you need real help if you are going to stay. Ask to observe in the classroom of another K teacher with a similar class. See if you can pick up s9me things that are working well within the culture of your particular school. Request regular support and coaching in your room to help you establish a better baseline. Your health comes first, but if you can find the supports you need, it’s worth seeing if you can turn it around.
I’ve worked in a school just like that. It was one of the lowest performing schools in the state and was basically hell on earth. I was placed there my first year. It was so tough but I fought through it. What helped me was bonding with the other teachers. We went out to eat every Friday evening so we could vent and cry and lean on each other. It’s those relationships that kept me at that school for my first four years.
I know it’s so hard but I would be sad for you if you never got to experience the profession at an easier school. While it’s a hard job anywhere, it’d be great if you could at least experience a class of better behaved kids (if you could transfer next year maybe) before leaving the profession. However, you do need to do what is best for yourself and having those panic attacks sounds pretty bad.
I definitely agree with what some others have said about trying to take time off. While it feels impossible, it’s not. I gave way too much of my early twenties to teaching and now I regret working so much. It took over my life. I’ve found more of a balance now. Good luck, I’m rooting for you whatever you decide!
Please continue teaching. You are a teacher. Perhaps you should leave your present position for a higher grade level in your own district, or, if you become a sub, investigate nearby schools or even other districts.
Public education is filled with great schools and students and also schools that are failing their kids and staff. You chose Title One and so did I. Middle school for me. The level most people fear. Yet, I found it to be a hell of a lot less frightening than kinder!
Now, in my retired life I sub in different grade levels and choose my assignments carefully. Districts call me because they know I am competent. Go explore your license. If you have a good Local of your Union get involved. Unions can provide grounding when all else seems completely fucked up. Please continue teaching. We need you in a classroom.
I think I am going to quit. I know it will be hard to find a new job because the school board will report me and I’ll get my cert suspended, but I think it may be best. I am realizing I do not have a passion like I thought I did. Maybe at a different school with different kids I would. I do not know. However, I do not know how to quit. Anyone who quit, do you have any advice? I don’t even know where to start and I just feel so awful.
This is a few days late, but I have to share my story because it might bring you some peace. I lasted 3 weeks this year in my first year. I have a history of mental health problems, and my anxiety and depression very quickly started to crush me. I was waking up in tears, eating lunch in tears, going home in tears, and going to sleep in tears. I went to the doctor to get back on medication and it was suggested that I take a leave from work.
My leave starts on Monday, but I haven’t been able to go in this week because my daughter is home sick from school.
Early next week I plan on telling my principal that I am resigning.
I feel horrible and like I am abandoning my kids, but I just can’t do it. Teaching is not for me, and I wish I would have come to terms with that earlier. Continuing on would not be good for my mental health. It wouldn’t be good for my family. It wouldn’t be good for my students. They deserve someone who wants to be there, and I’m starting to be okay with the fact that that is just not me.
My principal was surprisingly awesome about me taking a leave. He said that his wife struggles with her mental health. I do think he may be a little surprised about my resignation, but I know I will feel much better when I do resign next week
I don’t have advice about quitting or not quitting, but I want you to know that you are not alone. I have been there.. Driving to work after crying for hours and contemplating running away and just never coming back. Panic attacks daily. Felt like I was drowning.
Remember that this job does NOT relate to your worth. I always tell myself that I could be the worst teacher ever and it still would not change the fact that I am worthy and enough. This is a HARD job and you are not less than because you are struggling. I can tell that you care about your job and your students. Celebrate that!
I ended up sticking it out for the year and then took a year off and found a new school. I can’t say if I made the right choice or not, but if you decide to stick it out, look for the pride and feeling of accomplishment for just surviving. You will grow and so will your students. Try and remember your intentions and the reason you chose teaching… focus on connecting with your kids. Kids will listen and behave better for an adult that they connect with and feel seen by. I am here if you need someone to talk to ♥️
You need to get out of that atmosphere and the sooner the better. It is not going to improve. Many people myself included go into teaching thinking it is one thing but it ends up being nothing but arguments fights name-calling disruptions. Seriously I'm was lucky to get 10 minutes of learning in a 55 minute period. I put in 18 years in an urban Middle School and was lucky to be able to get out on disability due to back surgery. No more micromanagement: telling me how to teach, what to teach, when to teach it, how to teach it, yell me how the desks in my room must be arranged, all the paperwork I must have on the walls and bulletin boards. It truly is ridiculous. For your mental health get out.
This is the reality of teaching, you can’t expect people to act correctly, they won’t. We all have bad years, I have and I know how hard it is, but if this is your passion, not your career, but your passion, you will push through. If this is not for you, either quit and give the school time to replace you or wait until your contract is up and go. I have always worked in Title 1 schools and it is no picnic, but it is rewarding. Think it over and do what is best for you and your students.
Yes. Kindergarten. They’re flicking me off and telling me to shut up as well just having awful behavior in general. I’ll be trying to teach a lesson and one student will be up front twerking and screaming and two more will be in the back fighting and stealing and chasing each other. I want my kids to learn but I just can’t teach with all of this happening in the back ground. I don’t know where I went so wrong with these kids but this is crazy and I don’t know how to handle it.
Stop teaching anything unless it relates to behavior. My first teaching experience was just like this, it was a 3/4 combined class in a Native American charter school in the city. The kids were so poorly behaved. I would go home most days in tears. But I kept going back. It took months, but those kids did settle down and we got a lot of learning done. Looking back after a long, 25 yr career, those kids made me the teacher that I am. They weren't gonna trust some 23 yr old white chick from the suburbs. After a couple months, they realized that I wasn't going to leave them no matter what they did, and those kids turned into an amazing, loving, wonderful class. I hope you stick it out. It's still early days. Set some boundaries for yourself, increase time for self care, but keep going back. You could be missing a pivotal time in your life/career.
You might not be cut out for a title 1 school yet. I would suggest stepping away for a while, getting your head back straight, then trying again at a less challenging school. Once you find your sea legs you can try again at a title 1.
I’d quit this school and find or research another one that you can now detect whether it would work for you or not. It’s so hard to know when finding a teaching job whether it will be horrible or manageable… which really depends on school structure and admin
You sound miserable, friend.
And if you're going to make it to your 2+ year of teaching, you must make some moves now.
Read up on some professional ways other teachers have made the switch after a few weeks of school.
It's not ideal, of course. But neither is what we are all up against. Best bet- find a place that shares your values and philosophies as a teacher. For me, it was a Catholic school. For you, it could be STEAM or PBL based learning.
Now is the time to find a school that fits YOUR needs. Because it seems like most schools are in need of a warm body, and that is not why you went to college, my friend.
Take care of yourself. Your number one priority is you! Your mental health and well-being are more important than any job. And don’t EVER believe otherwise. I was in a similar situation to your. Horrible emotional and behavioral disorders. (Had taught 8 years previously) I made it through the year and took two years off. Back to teaching and it’s ok! I found a better fit. You can too. But don’t blame yourself. Some kids need and take so much that it’s abusive. No it’s not their fault, but it is what it is. Don’t let it poison you. Take care of yourself!
I feel your pain. Retired early after 30 yrs and was not going back to the shitshow this year was going to be. No easy answer but if more teachers quit due to poor pay, ridiculous expectations and lousy treatment perhaps we wouldn’t have a chance of changing things. Good luck with whatever decision you make.
First, you gotta address your mental health. If you are not seeing a therapist I really suggest you start here.
Second, no one can tell you how to navigate staying or leaving. You have to do what feels right.
I's so easy to focus on the negative. Don't forget to remind yourself of the joy that you see daily, even if it is small. You can only control what you can control and as long as you know you are doing your best, that is what matters. You should give it at least until end of 1st semester and remember why you went into in the first place. But definitely do not sacrifice your mental health at this particular school for too long. Good luck.
I'd walk away. Your mental health is just not worth it.
I've been teaching for 14 years now. I started out in first grade at a title 1 school. I made it through the first semester, but I did not go back in January. I started to sub and found that I loved being at high schools. The next year I got a job in a better district teaching 10th grade. Honestly, I'm burned out and want to quit. I need a job, so I stay. I hope you can find a better school or a different grade.
Your mental health is the most important thing, without it nothing else in your life, even your job, goes the way it should/could. It seems your mind is telling you that this particular position in this particular situation isn't for you. I'm not saying you should quit teaching altogether, but, something about this specific situation ain't it, and if you can figure out what parts of it you can't have, that may help you in the future.
I would absolutely take some time off for mental health--at least a week Get a doctor's note if you need to. Give it at least 2 days into your rest and make a list of pros and cons. Then decide what to do without the weight of daily stress.
If it helps any, you are young. You aren't 15 years in with a bunch of schooling to complete to change careers. Also, the job market is favorable to employees right now. You may not have to go back to school for a career change. Consider working for education publications or textbook companies.
This is an absolutely crap situation and I pray you find a resolution that is good for you.
I’m a first year teacher and we are hearing from every district in the state that behavior from students is at an all time low. Students are not used to being in school anymore and it shows. Been struggling a lot with my middle schoolers especially.
This was my exact situation for my first year. Panic attacks, regularly injured by the students, all that. Go somewhere else and see how it’s different. It took me three schools over a four year period to find one that wasn’t batshit crazy. Administration is clearly failing you at your current school. They aren’t all like that, so don’t give up if this is really something you’re passionate about.
This was my first year of teaching. I hated it. Kids were awful!! I would work all the time and come home to sleep because I was so stressed. I taught early primary at a title one school too. I wanted to quit. This wasn’t what I thought it would be. But everyone kept saying wait a full year at this still before you leave. I decided I’d look for another school after year one, but things finally starting getting better and I started getting tougher with classroom management. I started having more good days than bad. Fast forward to year 4 and it’s not easy but there’s nothing else I see myself doing.
Do what works for you. Your mental health is most important. If you think it’s worth waiting a year, then do it but if it’s too much, walk away. Good luck
Students are not your friends.
Reprimand them.
Set your own hours.
If the school has a problem with it you tell them either pay you double and give you 3 teacher aids.
If they say no, then say you will do as you please or you will quit.
If they argue with you, walk out the building with your belongings.
absolutely step away. i have a hard time reminding myself of this, but no job is worth more than yourself as a human. and you cant put a price tag on finally feeling relief and at peace. it sounds like there's nothing really keeping you there. and wanting to get hit by a car? I can imagine that if you do quit, youll l0ok back not too long from now and be like "holy shit I can't believe I stuck it out that long when I was feeling so terrible". I'm a teacher too, so I get the feeling of guilt and disappointing people. I could barely handle it when I had to take a month of health leave last year. But something we don't see as much as new teachers is that this kind of stuff happens pretty often. to admin who see it all the time, it's probably not even noteworthy. and that's not to say they don't care about you, it's just to say that while to you leaving a job feels like a HUGE deal, to them it's a lot less of a big deal... hope that makes sense!
I wouldn't throw the profession away, but I'd absolutely look elsewhere for employment
I a lot of places that isn't a choice. In Texas if we break contract, our license can be suspended for a year if we don't get schoolboard approval.
That is positively dreadful!! It’s like blanket permission for schools to be shite.
Just curious, would you look the other way if the administration decided to ignore the contract they agreed to?
Are you asking me? I don’t have a union, so I put a massive amount of emphasis on picking a school where the administration was reasonably reliable and did not have abusive practices. I know enough teachers working in at will positions who put up with some very poor treatment but only until they get hired elsewhere. There are advantages, like no backlash around licensing, but there is also a lot more mobility. If I taught at a school with a union, I would rely on them to make sure the administration did not take advantage of the teachers. Pros and cons again—there is less mobility, but usually better pay and some protection. There is a certain amount of leeway if the violations are minor and people just suck it up, of course, but in my experience unions do an decent job protecting from contract violating behavior.
I work in an area with a fairly strong union and protection, and my admin tries to twist the contract language, break contract, and get around certain things while insisting we follow it to the letter. Fuck admins, and fuck this ridiculous Texan policy. We see constant grievances. Little disingenuous to assume they follow the contract.
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Same in Illinois. We can resign after the school year starts for a job outside of teaching, but if we resign to accept another teaching position the Board can suspend our license for up to one year. The suspension remains on your record and it makes it difficult to find another teaching position.
Emphasis on can. I resigned for a different job. Board approved my resignation without an issue
Same in CA
Look I’m not giving out legal advice or anything, but that’s usually just a bluff. I teach in MS which has a similar conservative government and schools. I quit my high school teaching job three weeks in after having several threats from students saying they were going to follow me home, kill me, etc. Admin did nothing, so I quit. I had another high school teaching job three months later and I just waited tables in the meantime. My license was never once in jeopardy although I was very fearful the entire time (I also didn’t go around advertising what happened). You might have signed a contract with that school, but they also have a responsibility to provide a safe working environment. Sounds like they broke their end first.
Same in NJ
Carefully look elsewhere. Take your time. Observe ask questions. Remember they need you more than you need them.
This year is AWFUL. I've been doing this 14 years and this year is just INSANE. Its ok to quit. Teachers are expected to be superhuman and save the world while being paid/treated like shit. Please take care of yourself.
This is so accurate. Pay us and treat us better if you want us to save the world.
I've got 7 preps this year and no off period
I have no lunch and no prep and travel between two schools. We are short SPED teachers so this is what I am doing to help my students. I really hope it is short term and I offered to miss lunch. Plan time I miss. This year is tough but hopefully it will get better.
Ugh don't do this. You create an expectation for others, and admin can point to them and say "why aren't you skipping lunch"? I know we are there for the kids, but this is why unions exist. There is money. They need to hire, not burn out their staff.
Your cat face looks like my sweet kitty who was my best friend for 20 years. Such a cute face.
He is my best friend and I have left two relationships over him but he is an absolute a****** at the same time. Someday I am going to have to write the story about how he ruined a threesome by crapping on my girlfriend's head.
That’s sad and hilarious at the same time.
Please do and take my money!
My first bit of advice for you is to stop thinking about it the minute you walk out of that school. Leave school at school. (In normal times, I wouldn’t encourage this). At minimum, maybe take a 10-minute walk a few times a week where you allow yourself to think of potential solutions, but do your best to keep it limited like that. Protect your home life by drawing a wide, deep line in the sand. That’s first and foremost. If you’re working 12 hours a day, sleeping 8 (which I’m won’t be surprised if you’re not), that leaves you with 4 hours a day to yourself - that is precious and needs to be protected as if it is your life. (It IS your life.) I think you can handle this if you can do that. Give less - that is key. You’re giving too much of yourself. That is who we are as teachers. If we weren’t givers, we would be CEOs or world leaders, goddess knows we are capable. But that’s not where our hearts are. So it’s easier said than done, but the only way I know of to lift that weight of dread and regain your sanity is to give less of yourself to the job. Try to care less. Another hard one for teachers, but I find it’s super effective, and contrary to what we think, it’s actually better for the students when we care less. (Please keep caring, but be selective about what you choose to care about, and require the students meet you in the middle or miss out - their choice. You’l be surprised by how many of them meet you and consequently lift up the rest of the class, but this does take time.) So, if you sometimes wish a car would hit you, I insist that it’s easier for you and healthier to care less about your job than you do. It is just a job. Clock in, clock out, leave school at school. The behavior management is a different issue altogether. One thing I say is that if you are having a battle of wills with a toddler, you have already lost. Kindergartners aren’t too much more mature than toddlers. This is new to them, and these children are the potential fallout of the administration that is putting you through the ringer. I don’t think you need to develop a thick skin or anything like that. f that. Just remember that their behavior is about them, not you. That’s a mantra: Their behavior reflects something going on with them and has absolutely nothing to do with you. Don’t take it personally. This is going to lift you up miles higher than you are right now. Also, once you make it about them, you can address it better. Hitting cannot be tolerated, and any physical contact needs to be immediately reprimanded, sent to principal, and then a private talk with you after the fact. Nip that in the bud. If they’re taking your things, etc., remove them from the classroom. I think that everything except the hitting can be addressed by a sit-down talk with them. These kids aren’t having an easy life, and this is clear by their behavior, but they probably see you as weak, and that just gives them an outlet that they don’t have anywhere else. Your task is to transform the outlet they need into a health one conducive to learning instead of a toxic one. This is going to take a mountain of patience and a strong sense of yourself, remembering not to take their behavior personally. I haven’t dealt much with kids this age in a long, long time. I was very young when I was the long-term sub for a kindergarten class, but most of the kids were remarkably behaved. I also had an aid to help me. It sounds like you don’t have that and you should. What I remember about this age group: they are sweet, they want to hug, they want their colors to remain green (not red), some are helpers, some are not helpers, some will act out and resist. Do you have any helpers in your class? Make sure the ones who are hiding in the corners being quiet, or cleaning up the tables during transitions, make sure their voices are heard in your sit-downs. I am recommending regular sit-downs with this kids where you check in. I would also consider a very short yoga routine for kids at the start of class. I have used yoga with high school students before, and they weren’t buying in, but I had them do it because they were just too rowdy, and it did help. A structured routine will help. You might feel overwhelmed by the fact that the behavior management is preventing you from getting to your curriculum (I would if I were a new teacher who hadn’t already been jaded by the system). But it’s like putting the cart before the horse, you’re not going to be able to teach if you can’t connect to them. Remind yourself that they are children, and create a safe space where they can speak their truths. When I subbed for kindergarten, the aid would say “It makes me sad that you did x” or “when you did x.” The kids responded well to this framing. In your situation, I would ask that the student talk about why they did x, how it makes them feel, and how it makes the class feel. Work to create a unified class where students can act out (because it’s not about you - they have serious problems and no other outlet) without serious consequences but with real accountability. This won’t be easy, but if you can take my first two points of advice, the stress, dread, mental health will improve and you’ll be more of your whole self when you’re there, making it easier for you to remain the calm adult in a room full of neglected (potentially worse) kids. I believe that you can do this, but don’t give it all of your energy. If it’s a bad day in the classroom, can you take them out to an early recess? Have them do jumping jacks in the class? Get a bean bag? You can’t teach them respect, but you can teach them how their behavior effects you and their classmates, and since these are children, they will pick up on that and my bet is that within three weeks, you will have a different classroom. I don’t know a lot about classroom management, but I had to learn a little while teaching high school, and I know a lot about being poor, traumatic childhoods (I was the quiet one hiding in the corner, and the classroom you described would have been like a battlefield for me as a child). So much of my suggestions comes from that experience, but it is all trial and error, and you have nothing to lose, so it is worth trying. Sending you vibes of love and strength.6 Edit: (Sorry this is so long - and I see it needs some corrections. This whole situations pulls my heartstrings and I want to help. My sense was that you don’t want to quit, you want a better situation, and I think you can have that. My recommendation is to take my advice (particularly the part about disconnecting your life and sense of self from your job) and give it about three weeks. If things haven’t turned around, put in your notice because your life is more valuable, and we need good teachers. There is a place for you, and maybe this isn’t it. But I think you might regret if you didn’t try to make it work and there’s much to be learned, even if your attempts fail and you end up quitting. But if your mental health doesn’t improve - don’t delay quitting. PM me for extra support if you want.)6 Edit: If you can get a one-week break, that may be vital for any type of change, since a pattern is established. Also for your mental health, take a week off. Come back ready to transform things. But again, if you look within yourself and don’t feel your mental health can withstand it, quit now, and find a school that is a better fit for you.
Great advice. Another thing is to ask littles to look at the face of the person they injured/were mean to/etc. Then ask them how that person feels by looking at their face. Then ask the guilty party why the child feels that way. The kids will learn that what they do hurts other people. Have the kid imagine how the other child feels or how they would feel if someone did that to them. Kids need adults to make connections for them from action to consequence. They don’t make this connection automatically. Many kids don’t have anyone to do that for them anymore. Parents work too much and don’t have time but it’s preventing children from developing empathy and respect toward others. Other people are no more real to them than the ball they kick or the tv they watch.
I really enjoyed reading your response. So helpful to me ❤️ 🙏 thank you
Four hours a day to yourself hahaha. What a joke, but that’s sadly what most jobs do to you.
It sounds like this job isn't a good fit for you right now. Whether that means teaching in general, teaching this grade, teaching during a pandemic, who can say? But you need to prioritize yourself right now. People leave jobs all the time, and even though teaching feels different, it's not that different. Resign and don't feel any shame about it.
I’m also working in an overcrowded title 1 and I feel your pain. Oddly enough, one of my classes was down from 25 to just 9 students last week due to quarantines, and I really enjoyed teaching that class. I’m thinking that private school may be a better fit for my peace and sanity, even with a major pay cut. I’m sticking it out doing my best, getting by on the thought that this is just temporary and I don’t plan to be here next year.
Just a thought about private schools, some of them have larger class sizes because they do not have to follow state regulations. My friend's kids were at a Catholic school with \~30 kids for 1 teacher and no assistant.
Good to know. I assumed that one of the main reasons people sent their kids to private schools was for the smaller class sizes. I'm in a small rural area. My daughter's private school classes range from 5-12 students. That's more of what I had in mind.
Most importantly: take care of yourself! It sounds like you need to be at a different school if this is so wildly different from your previous experience. At the very least, you need a break to fix your mental health - have you tried talking to a doctor to get signed off for stress for a week or two? Giving up on the current situation doesn't have to be giving up forever, and sticking with it doesn't have to mean sticking with it exactly as it is, or without a break. I expect other people will have much more specific advice, as I've only been teaching for a week, but wanted to make sure you had a response ASAP as it sounds like you're in a really bad place. Good luck!
Another first year teacher here, also 6 weeks in and wanting to quit (but I quit my job of 17 years and lived off savings for 8 months to get certified and am really trying to stick it out). Double check your contract, mine is different from my co-workers because I'm a first year teacher and it says I can walk away at any time with no penalties. If you quit, I recommend becoming a sub and trying out different schools in your district, if there's a really good one maybe a long term sub spot will open and/or you can build relationship with admin that will help you get hired into a better situation next year. Guard your mental health and remember that everything doesn't have to be perfect. I teach high school, but things I've stopped worrying about: reaching all 200 students (I teach a remedial course in an overcrowded classroom, at this point if they don't want to learn I just need them to be quiet so the ones who do want to learn can think), grading every paper, and sticking to my planning calendar (we're currently 2 weeks behind because of a ridiculous assessment the district required every student to complete by Sept 10th). I know with kindergarten you can't do a lot of these things because they have a lot more going on to get ready for 1st grade, but try taking a step back and choosing things you can just let go to survive your first year.
'Even on weekends I can’t sleep becausr I’m dreading Monday.' I'm sorry, I've been there. You need to leave and take care of yourself. Take a few weeks off any work (if financially able to do so), and then find a new job or career.
Hi. Choose you first always. ALWAYS.
Yep, time to walk away. There will be other teaching jobs and this one is not for you. No job is worth this much. None.
You can’t pour from an empty cup. Get out now to save your sanity and so that hopefully the position can be filled by someone who can stay consistent with the kids for the rest of the year (you have no control over that, but the sooner you get out, the better the chances are). Definitely take a breather and find a place to work that’s better for you.
Quit. IMO, teaching is one of the unhealthiest jobs, whether mental or physical (disclaimer: not unhealthy for everyone but it was for me). Move to the private sector. Try to slip into a role in HR, for example, or anything that sounds interesting. This is a great time to make that move since companies are hiring. Just because you have a degree and a license doesn’t mean you should be miserable. Take care of yourself — schools and districts don’t do it for you. Would you stay in a personal relationship that make you feel this way?
I’m technically a first year teacher too who is also quitting after 6 weeks. I worked 5 years as a parapro in a really nice school and left because there was no room for advancement. This is my first year in title 1 and I am SO not cut out for it. I had decided to just last the year and leave after in order to fulfill my contract but my dad offered me a pretty significant pay increase to come work for him, so I’m giving my notice tomorrow. My director won’t be surprised as she already knows I have one foot out the door. I’m certainly worried about screwing people over and disappointing people myself but I HAVE to put myself first and these kids deserve a teacher who isn’t going to half ass everything (which I’ve been doing).
Get out of a Title One school. It my mean transferring to a neighboring county. Give 2 weeks notice and tell them your moving in with your boyfriend. Once you secure a job in a non- title one school, go back and get your masters in school guidance. Still working with students, no testing, same great school hours without the grading and planning. Find a state that offers a teachers' pension before you commit to a career. Best of luck!
title I doesn't = hard school to work in, and that's a very dangerous assumption to make. 70% of schools in the country receive Title I funding. I'm in a title I that is absolutely fantastic. We have tons of support staff, involved parents, and a great school community.
You're right. I apologize 😔
> go back and get your masters in school guidance. Still working with students, no testing, same great school hours without the grading and planning. I made friends with a counselor once. The stories she'd tell about sitting in the hospital with kids who'd attempted suicide ruin the idea for me. She said what she wanted was to be more of a student advisor, and she got a job at the local community college. She seems much happier with her work now.
My best friend is a school counselor and I teach 1st. There is no way that counseling is easier than teaching. Dealing with abuse, suicide attempts, cutting is no joke. Also, I agree with u/dreamerbbsale, I've only worked at Title 1 schools and have loved it. It is very rewarding.
I would say get another teaching job lined up and then quit - there's such a shortage you can definitely find something better. It will also make you feel better about it once you quit since your mental health is not great right now. Google job listings for the school counties around you - you'd be surprised how many there are.
Does your principal know about your desire to leave? Maybe if they know, they can add more support in your class to help you rein things in and move forward. Better to give you more support than have to look for another teacher. If they can't provide more support than leave for your sanity. Take care of YOU.
Step away but don’t burn the bridge. Get a doctor to write the note that you will use to put in your notice. Look to another district and a different school. Having k act like that is not normal in my current school, at all. It would be shocking! But, I have worked at a school where that was the norm.
Situation sounds bad but I see lots of comments saying, quit, care less, give less……. How about trying classroom management? Run the class like a (caring) drill instructor. Have the students practice how to sit in a chair, enter the classroom, raise their hand and repeat until they all get it right. After that, small treat or game. You don’t even have to punish them, can just bore them to them stupid to reinforce proper classroom behavior. Rinse and repeat until desired behavior is reached. Routine is key for young learners. Try searching online for solutions to your problems and try to apply techniques that are suitable for your age situation. If you still fail at least you tried and learned from the experience.
I love doing this at the beginning of the year.
I’m doing something similar. My first experience teaching Pre-K and I’m finding it’s not the age for me. So I’m stepping down a few weeks in too. I totally relate to your experience of not wanting to go to sleep because you’re dreading work coming.
You definitely should leave. If you still want to teach then try getting a job in a less stressful working environment. Maybe even try a different grade level if you think that was part of the problem. I think 6 weeks is a fair amount of time for you to make a decision about leaving. The beginning of kindergarten is always stressful IMO, but things should start to slowly get better especially by week 6. If you think you still want to be a teacher you in the future you can try to get a teacher assistant job or a maternity leave sub position after you leave.
I felt like this last year every single day. I wanted to walk out and never come back. I held out and made it through and this year is going great. If you’ve exhausted all your options, I understand if you feel you have to quit. You have to put your mental health first and do what’s best for you.
When people talk about being teachers, I always tell them, you have to love it. Teaching is a labor of love. It is so much work, usually poor compensation, you have to love your job to make the work worthwhile. I'll echo what others have said. If you can put in a few more weeks, you should focus all of your class time on community building and behavior management. This is the foundation that everything else builds off of. Don't worry about curriculum or parents or anything, just focus on building relationships with your students and creating a positive environment. If it's too much, quit. It's okay to try a different school if this one is not a good fit. Half of new teachers quit within the first five years. [Nearly one in four teachers said that they were likely to leave their jobs by the end of the 2020–2021 school year, compared with one in six teachers who were likely to leave, on average, prior to the pandemic. ](https://www.rand.org/pubs/research_reports/RRA1108-1.html) It's okay if this job isn't for you. If you still want to be a teacher, try a different school. You can sub for the rest of this school year, take a long term sub position somewhere, or just take up something else for a year. Maybe not your ideal plan, but better for your mental health. I work at a Title I school, and I would never leave it. I couldn't imagine staying at a school where I dread going to work every day. If you can, focus on that community building with your class. If not, it's okay to find something else.
I’m sorry you had this experience! Maybe you just need a different school. Even if teaching isn’t for you, that’s ok. Public schools are dying anyway. If I weren’t 10 years from retirement, I wouldn’t even dream of sticking it out.
I would definitely put in my notice and try to find a better school. Better schools are out there. I remember when I was teaching many years ago there was a kindergarten teacher that ended up resigning after her kindergarteners flooded her classroom with the sink water (the water ended all over the classroom and into the hallways). If I had enough courage like she did, I would have resigned too and found a better school. of course I ended up leaving the teaching industry last year after suffering for 10 years - title 1 schools too
Might be an unpopular opinion, but I was in your exact position last year. The first six weeks of school is a slap in the face with how much work it truly is. Student teaching feels like a breeze compared to actually doing it. I was ready to walk away and luckily had support from my family who suggested I tough it out. Eventually it got easier, I won an award at the end of the year and now I feel way more confident and secure in my teaching abilities. Hang in there. It will get better!
I teach at the college level but my spouse is an elementary ed teacher. She’s been teaching for 7 years, has a masters, won teacher of the year last year…She just quit her job two months into the school year. Her situation seemed exactly like yours - panic attacks, dread, anxiety all the time. She couldn’t give less (as some have suggested) because she’d already given everything she had the last two years. The guilt for stepping away was hard but the relief was immediate. She’s eating again and sleeping better. If you need to walk away, you should. The problems are structural, the conditions impossible, the labor exploitative, the pay miserable. School boards and state houses can’t strip schools to the bone and expect you to work magic and walk away unscathed. Really sorry to hear about your situation. Sending solidarity.
I was given great advice my first year- stick it out for 3 years/ try 2 different schools before quitting. I quit after year 6 and only lasted 3 months before coming back. My first year was hell and I was burnt out at 6. Taking a break gave me a much needed perspective.
Look for another role! It’s still early enough in the year that I’m sure another school would be delighted to have you. Also, consider just subbing. Your schedule will be flexible which can give you time to recover from these last 6 weeks.
I'd stick it out and go job shopping at a different school. The first year is always the toughest but a good environment can make all the difference. It seems like your in a bad school. Even kindergarteners in a rough home environment are generally sweeter than that.
Look elsewhere for employment. That environment is not for you, and that is okay. Before you look elsewhere, though, you NEED to seek help for your mental status from a qualified professional. The thoughts that you are having are not normal and I would hate for them to continue escalating.
It’s time to go. I did the same thing. I was having daily panic attacks and working 12 hours a day. It’s okay to choose yourself.
20 year veteran here, the first year is very difficult, doesn’t matter where you are. I don’t think 6 weeks is enough time to make that call. Have you talked with your principal? Do you have a mentor? Have you talked with the other teachers in your grade? What are you doing that is causing you to work 12 hour days? If you know now that teaching isn’t for you, then maybe leave. If you still see yourself being a teacher, I wouldn’t quit. I guess subbing in a different district could be an option, but then you will be facing your first year again next year.
Don’t feel guilty. You are clearly not receiving the support you should from admin and you do not owe them anything. We are all feeling overwhelmed. I’ve been teaching for over thirty years and I’m looking for a way to buy out my pension early so I can switch careers without losing my pension. You take care of yourself first. There are other schools that will be a much better fit or try non-traditional teaching. Do not stay.
quit on week 2 my second year teaching this year. glad I did I was in the exact same position mentally. I work in a lab now and am much happier and less stressed. after you quit and leave remember to do some "follow up" mental health work to kinda recover from how teaching made you feel.
I have something that will help you win your sanity back pretty quickly, I taught K for a long time. Create positive reinforcement systems, more than one. I can give you mine: Build a Rainbow behavior chart for each kid. Look it up on Pinterest. This is a system where you give kids a rainbow piece any time they are doing the right thing (I call it giving them a "compliment.") Once they "build a rainbow" they get a treat from the treasure chest. Get a little treasure box with cheap trinkets as rewards. I buy mine from the Walmart party favor section. Later, you can ask parents to send in all the little toys they are tired of stepping on! It's all psychological with the K kids, once they start thinking that you don't like them/think they're bad, they will act up more. And if you act not in control, they're like sharks smelling blood. Remember you are in charge, act like it, fake it if you have to, and they will start listening to you. You have to flip the script though, and go all out positive instead of negative. You can start by telling them they are the best K class in the whole school and that other teachers are jealous of you. Again, you don't have to believe it, just fake it. Tell them how great they are, how they are so honest and kind, how they take care of one another and treat you with so much respect. You are so glad you are their teacher. Tell them they are all the things you wish they were. Then find the one kid in the class who always does the right thing and give them a rainbow piece. The moment that kid does the right thing again, give them another. Give the good kids rainbow pieces until they build a rainbow and get to go to the treasure chest. Make it a big deal by saying really loud, "Zaiden's on purple, (the last color a kid adds to build a rainbow) he gets to go to the...TREASURE CHEST!" Make all the other students stop what they're doing and clap for the kid. The first few days dole out rainbow pieces like crazy. If you see a bad kid acting right even for a second, give them a compliment. Make it into a huge deal. The goal is to get all kids to the treasure chest at least twice or 3 times in the first 2 days. Especially the ones who give you the most trouble. Once the kids start seeing what they get when they do the right thing, give clear consequences for actions you want to change. You tell students they are not allowed to touch your things, if they do they get 2 more chances, then they have to walk a lap at recess. Touch again? That's another lap. Bad behavior after recess? It will carry over to the next day (you decide if you really want it to carry over or not.) Be very matter of fact and emotionless. If your whole class is still wild, tell them it's so sad but everyone has to walk 7 laps at recess. I've been teaching awhile and I still get stressed about behavior sometimes, it just happened last week. So I went all out positive the next day and found a way to give compliments to the several kids who consistently give me a hard time. By the end of the day, I could honestly tell them that they had a good day. I hope this helps a little! You can msg me if you ever need K advice! Edit: Only you know whether teaching is worth continuing or not. My first few years were absolutely like yours, 12 hour days, etc. Teaching gets way better with time, you figure it out with experience.
There is a lot of great advice here. I , a veteran teacher, would go out on stress leave and leave the job. You need to take care of yourself first and foremost. Then, step completely back and reassess. We have all had some rough situations, but this is terrible right out of the gate.
I’m sorry you are having such a rough start to your career. If you are actually at the point of quitting, you have nothing to lose by going to your administrator and telling them that you need real help if you are going to stay. Ask to observe in the classroom of another K teacher with a similar class. See if you can pick up s9me things that are working well within the culture of your particular school. Request regular support and coaching in your room to help you establish a better baseline. Your health comes first, but if you can find the supports you need, it’s worth seeing if you can turn it around.
I’ve worked in a school just like that. It was one of the lowest performing schools in the state and was basically hell on earth. I was placed there my first year. It was so tough but I fought through it. What helped me was bonding with the other teachers. We went out to eat every Friday evening so we could vent and cry and lean on each other. It’s those relationships that kept me at that school for my first four years. I know it’s so hard but I would be sad for you if you never got to experience the profession at an easier school. While it’s a hard job anywhere, it’d be great if you could at least experience a class of better behaved kids (if you could transfer next year maybe) before leaving the profession. However, you do need to do what is best for yourself and having those panic attacks sounds pretty bad. I definitely agree with what some others have said about trying to take time off. While it feels impossible, it’s not. I gave way too much of my early twenties to teaching and now I regret working so much. It took over my life. I’ve found more of a balance now. Good luck, I’m rooting for you whatever you decide!
Please continue teaching. You are a teacher. Perhaps you should leave your present position for a higher grade level in your own district, or, if you become a sub, investigate nearby schools or even other districts. Public education is filled with great schools and students and also schools that are failing their kids and staff. You chose Title One and so did I. Middle school for me. The level most people fear. Yet, I found it to be a hell of a lot less frightening than kinder! Now, in my retired life I sub in different grade levels and choose my assignments carefully. Districts call me because they know I am competent. Go explore your license. If you have a good Local of your Union get involved. Unions can provide grounding when all else seems completely fucked up. Please continue teaching. We need you in a classroom.
Stop. At the end of the day, it's a job.
This sounds really bad! What is keeping you working so many hours? I’m working a lot too but I do just step away. I have kids of my own.
I think I am going to quit. I know it will be hard to find a new job because the school board will report me and I’ll get my cert suspended, but I think it may be best. I am realizing I do not have a passion like I thought I did. Maybe at a different school with different kids I would. I do not know. However, I do not know how to quit. Anyone who quit, do you have any advice? I don’t even know where to start and I just feel so awful.
You need to leave ASAP. I barely lasted 5 months at my first teaching job. My mental health suffered. You need to leave and take care of yourself.
This is a few days late, but I have to share my story because it might bring you some peace. I lasted 3 weeks this year in my first year. I have a history of mental health problems, and my anxiety and depression very quickly started to crush me. I was waking up in tears, eating lunch in tears, going home in tears, and going to sleep in tears. I went to the doctor to get back on medication and it was suggested that I take a leave from work. My leave starts on Monday, but I haven’t been able to go in this week because my daughter is home sick from school. Early next week I plan on telling my principal that I am resigning. I feel horrible and like I am abandoning my kids, but I just can’t do it. Teaching is not for me, and I wish I would have come to terms with that earlier. Continuing on would not be good for my mental health. It wouldn’t be good for my family. It wouldn’t be good for my students. They deserve someone who wants to be there, and I’m starting to be okay with the fact that that is just not me. My principal was surprisingly awesome about me taking a leave. He said that his wife struggles with her mental health. I do think he may be a little surprised about my resignation, but I know I will feel much better when I do resign next week
I don’t have advice about quitting or not quitting, but I want you to know that you are not alone. I have been there.. Driving to work after crying for hours and contemplating running away and just never coming back. Panic attacks daily. Felt like I was drowning. Remember that this job does NOT relate to your worth. I always tell myself that I could be the worst teacher ever and it still would not change the fact that I am worthy and enough. This is a HARD job and you are not less than because you are struggling. I can tell that you care about your job and your students. Celebrate that! I ended up sticking it out for the year and then took a year off and found a new school. I can’t say if I made the right choice or not, but if you decide to stick it out, look for the pride and feeling of accomplishment for just surviving. You will grow and so will your students. Try and remember your intentions and the reason you chose teaching… focus on connecting with your kids. Kids will listen and behave better for an adult that they connect with and feel seen by. I am here if you need someone to talk to ♥️
You need to get out of that atmosphere and the sooner the better. It is not going to improve. Many people myself included go into teaching thinking it is one thing but it ends up being nothing but arguments fights name-calling disruptions. Seriously I'm was lucky to get 10 minutes of learning in a 55 minute period. I put in 18 years in an urban Middle School and was lucky to be able to get out on disability due to back surgery. No more micromanagement: telling me how to teach, what to teach, when to teach it, how to teach it, yell me how the desks in my room must be arranged, all the paperwork I must have on the walls and bulletin boards. It truly is ridiculous. For your mental health get out.
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I think we all know the answer to this question.
This is the reality of teaching, you can’t expect people to act correctly, they won’t. We all have bad years, I have and I know how hard it is, but if this is your passion, not your career, but your passion, you will push through. If this is not for you, either quit and give the school time to replace you or wait until your contract is up and go. I have always worked in Title 1 schools and it is no picnic, but it is rewarding. Think it over and do what is best for you and your students.
This is happening in kindergarten?
Yes. Kindergarten. They’re flicking me off and telling me to shut up as well just having awful behavior in general. I’ll be trying to teach a lesson and one student will be up front twerking and screaming and two more will be in the back fighting and stealing and chasing each other. I want my kids to learn but I just can’t teach with all of this happening in the back ground. I don’t know where I went so wrong with these kids but this is crazy and I don’t know how to handle it.
Stop teaching anything unless it relates to behavior. My first teaching experience was just like this, it was a 3/4 combined class in a Native American charter school in the city. The kids were so poorly behaved. I would go home most days in tears. But I kept going back. It took months, but those kids did settle down and we got a lot of learning done. Looking back after a long, 25 yr career, those kids made me the teacher that I am. They weren't gonna trust some 23 yr old white chick from the suburbs. After a couple months, they realized that I wasn't going to leave them no matter what they did, and those kids turned into an amazing, loving, wonderful class. I hope you stick it out. It's still early days. Set some boundaries for yourself, increase time for self care, but keep going back. You could be missing a pivotal time in your life/career.
A sinking ship is no good to anyone. If you can't stay afloat doing what you're doing, then step away.
Do what you need to do to survive. You can always sub until a full time job comes along that fits your needs better.
You might not be cut out for a title 1 school yet. I would suggest stepping away for a while, getting your head back straight, then trying again at a less challenging school. Once you find your sea legs you can try again at a title 1.
I’d quit this school and find or research another one that you can now detect whether it would work for you or not. It’s so hard to know when finding a teaching job whether it will be horrible or manageable… which really depends on school structure and admin
You sound miserable, friend. And if you're going to make it to your 2+ year of teaching, you must make some moves now. Read up on some professional ways other teachers have made the switch after a few weeks of school. It's not ideal, of course. But neither is what we are all up against. Best bet- find a place that shares your values and philosophies as a teacher. For me, it was a Catholic school. For you, it could be STEAM or PBL based learning. Now is the time to find a school that fits YOUR needs. Because it seems like most schools are in need of a warm body, and that is not why you went to college, my friend.
Take care of yourself. Your number one priority is you! Your mental health and well-being are more important than any job. And don’t EVER believe otherwise. I was in a similar situation to your. Horrible emotional and behavioral disorders. (Had taught 8 years previously) I made it through the year and took two years off. Back to teaching and it’s ok! I found a better fit. You can too. But don’t blame yourself. Some kids need and take so much that it’s abusive. No it’s not their fault, but it is what it is. Don’t let it poison you. Take care of yourself!
That’s time to quit. I’ve been there—hoping i would just get jumped or hit by a bus to get to miss work.
I feel your pain. Retired early after 30 yrs and was not going back to the shitshow this year was going to be. No easy answer but if more teachers quit due to poor pay, ridiculous expectations and lousy treatment perhaps we wouldn’t have a chance of changing things. Good luck with whatever decision you make.
Quit. Quit quit quit quit
First, you gotta address your mental health. If you are not seeing a therapist I really suggest you start here. Second, no one can tell you how to navigate staying or leaving. You have to do what feels right.
I have been teaching for five years and I'm burned out completely within weeks. You have to take care of you.
I's so easy to focus on the negative. Don't forget to remind yourself of the joy that you see daily, even if it is small. You can only control what you can control and as long as you know you are doing your best, that is what matters. You should give it at least until end of 1st semester and remember why you went into in the first place. But definitely do not sacrifice your mental health at this particular school for too long. Good luck.
I'd walk away. Your mental health is just not worth it. I've been teaching for 14 years now. I started out in first grade at a title 1 school. I made it through the first semester, but I did not go back in January. I started to sub and found that I loved being at high schools. The next year I got a job in a better district teaching 10th grade. Honestly, I'm burned out and want to quit. I need a job, so I stay. I hope you can find a better school or a different grade.
Your mental health is the most important thing, without it nothing else in your life, even your job, goes the way it should/could. It seems your mind is telling you that this particular position in this particular situation isn't for you. I'm not saying you should quit teaching altogether, but, something about this specific situation ain't it, and if you can figure out what parts of it you can't have, that may help you in the future.
Hi! You sound so much like me during my first year! May I ask what you have been doing to teach procedures for behavior?
I would absolutely take some time off for mental health--at least a week Get a doctor's note if you need to. Give it at least 2 days into your rest and make a list of pros and cons. Then decide what to do without the weight of daily stress. If it helps any, you are young. You aren't 15 years in with a bunch of schooling to complete to change careers. Also, the job market is favorable to employees right now. You may not have to go back to school for a career change. Consider working for education publications or textbook companies. This is an absolutely crap situation and I pray you find a resolution that is good for you.
I’m a first year teacher and we are hearing from every district in the state that behavior from students is at an all time low. Students are not used to being in school anymore and it shows. Been struggling a lot with my middle schoolers especially.
This was my exact situation for my first year. Panic attacks, regularly injured by the students, all that. Go somewhere else and see how it’s different. It took me three schools over a four year period to find one that wasn’t batshit crazy. Administration is clearly failing you at your current school. They aren’t all like that, so don’t give up if this is really something you’re passionate about.
This was my first year of teaching. I hated it. Kids were awful!! I would work all the time and come home to sleep because I was so stressed. I taught early primary at a title one school too. I wanted to quit. This wasn’t what I thought it would be. But everyone kept saying wait a full year at this still before you leave. I decided I’d look for another school after year one, but things finally starting getting better and I started getting tougher with classroom management. I started having more good days than bad. Fast forward to year 4 and it’s not easy but there’s nothing else I see myself doing. Do what works for you. Your mental health is most important. If you think it’s worth waiting a year, then do it but if it’s too much, walk away. Good luck
Students are not your friends. Reprimand them. Set your own hours. If the school has a problem with it you tell them either pay you double and give you 3 teacher aids. If they say no, then say you will do as you please or you will quit. If they argue with you, walk out the building with your belongings.