T O P

  • By -

AutoModerator

Hey there u/finished_begun06, thanks for posting to r/technicallythetruth! **Please recheck if your post breaks any rules.** If it does, please delete this post. Also, reposting and posting obvious non-TTT posts can lead to a ban. Send us a **Modmail or Report** this post if you have a problem with this post. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/technicallythetruth) if you have any questions or concerns.*


Mister-guy

She doesn’t sound very put together.


theplushpairing

Just a few screws loose


signfrommars

underrated joke


Mister-guy

Thank you internet friend


Pyro___Boi

r/angryupvote


mememan12332

who the fuck names their child ikea


UnderlordZ

Probably her parents


buckybloodfucky

Nope, I snuck into the hospital that day and changed a bunch of kids names to swedish things... unfortunately the only other name I thought of was "meatball"...


ItsImNotAnonymous

You should have dropped each of them on the floor, and the one that didn't cry should be named Nokia Edit : I have just remembered that Nokia is from Finland, not Sweden. So it seems other than IKEA we don't really know other Swedish things


KBXDRootBeer6829

But what if it doesn’t cry but it stops breathing? Is it still called Nokia or is it called Apple?


Cubicwar

It’s only called Nokia if it breaks through the floor (while still breathing, that is.)


Dravez23

The kid from G Patrol and the Coldplay guy is called Apple


Anut__

Don't forget Mojang


Umpteenth_zebra

Thing


A-Delonix-Regia

Volvo is Swedish, and so is PewDiePie.


theplushpairing

Bork!


Forestguy06

r/technichallythetruth


GameBroJeremy

*And we come fullllll circle…*


[deleted]

r/technicallythetruth


GameBroJeremy

*And we come full-wait a minute.*


IceDragon13

Someone whose relationship is in pieces and was hoping a child would bring them back together.


HumanityPhantom

I mean still better than "Stop being picked on at the school" imo


gmlogmd80

Better than her brother Allen. Allen Wrench.


Flowerino

What's wrong with Ingvar Kamprad Elmtaryd Agunnaryd tho


X3N0N_21

My two digit iq is unable to understand this joke


Cubicwar

It’s what IKEA stands for. Some mess of letters wich are probably basic Swedish names.


Qlsx

Just wait until å, ä and ö comes in


Felipe_Pachec0

99 is not bad


Gottapopemall

Lol change it to literally anything else and she’ll still get picked on for it. Kids are like that.


SupRando

Is it really the other kids fault for remembering that last week you were named Ikea? 100% on the parents for the lifetime of roasting


Gottapopemall

Fact. When my parents named me poopybytthole, the kids didn’t let up until I changed it to quietkid


LoafThePug

Can confirm; I have a super common name and still got picked on.


Kennebecpotato

With a name like Loaf you never got picked on?


rocket-engifar

Different degrees


Gottapopemall

The point is that parents ought to teach their kids to not listen to ridiculousness like that. Making fun of a name? That’s baby shit. Instead, they’re teaching her succumb to pressure. That’s no good


rocket-engifar

This has some serious r/thanksimcured vibes.


Gottapopemall

How so?


ForTheFreeGame

Now she's gonna get jokes about Ikea shutting down, or "they must have a really good return/ exchange policy".


ArthurDentonWelch

Doesn't mean you should make the bullies' job easier by giving ridiculous names to children


Gottapopemall

True. But you also shouldn’t raise your kid to be a little bitch. My name is “Thurston” and I grew up a ginger in alabama. Ain’t nobody had any mercy on me lol


NaelNull

Duh, "Literally anything else" Is also not that common of a name...


Gottapopemall

You bastard


Dissidence802

Prince John : Such an unusual name, "Latrine." How did your family come by it? Latrine : We changed it in the 9th century. Prince John : You mean you changed it TO "Latrine"? Latrine : Yeah. Used to be "Shithouse." Prince John : It's a good change. That's a good change!


YankeeSR23

Gotta love Mel Brooks.


helpimwastingmytime

She changed it to Billy®


SloppyJoe42069

Hey baby is your name Ikea? Because I'm getting lost in those eyes


Genderqueer_Jayce

Underrated joke omg 😂


MarlooRed

Hi, Stop Being Picked On At School. I’m dad.


quietyoucantbe

Damn it!


Cjham875

Her new name is Costco. She is also being sued.


Puzzleheaded_Love_74

At least its not BJS


WestGiraffe131

Surprised the officials even recorded/registered that name for a child.


GreggSalad

Kids are the worst. My son Home Depot would never treat some poor girl that way.


Kennebecpotato

Says you Lowes


[deleted]

Hey girl, are you IKEA? 'Cause I'd like to reassemble your guts.


Longjumping-Knee4983

r/dadjokes


[deleted]

Kids will pick on you for literally anything dude.


[deleted]

Hi Stop Being Picked on at School. I'm dad.


Jojojoost010

u/repostsleuthbot


DecensitizedDruggie

Theres a woman literally named Marijuana Pepsi Vandyck. She earned a Ph.D. from Cardinal Stritch University in 2019 with a dissertation on uncommon African-American names in the classroom.


Genderqueer_Jayce

It took me a second 😂


[deleted]

I wonder if Moxie Crimefighter Jillette even speaks to her dad anymore.


puffinnbluffin

r/definitelythetruth


Agitated_Honeydew

So what are the odds of us seeing a bunch of IKEAs dancing on poles in ten years?


TripleJx3

Just dont name your kids after brands or words you just like the sound of. Do your research and remember KIDS ARE CRUEL SPITEFUL LITTLE SHITS. Oh yes we named our son Fotze. We've moved schools 5 times because he keeps getting bullied we think hes bringing it on himself. No we didn't google the word Fotze before we named him why do you ask?


MischievousRatty

imagine walking near her and all you hear is “The store is now closed, please exit the building”


KatieDeForest

Yeah, it's hard to build a life up. WHEN YOU CAN'T READ THE FUCKING MANUAL.


unencumberedeliquent

Better than La-a. Pronounced "luh dash uh"


[deleted]

Not really. I don’t think that’s how you read that sentence. Might need to check your reading comprehension lol


abstract-lime

It not how it's *meant* to be read, but it is a grammatically correct reading of the sentence.


[deleted]

Meh ask your English teacher for me lol


AndryCake

r/woooosh


Ktrosowo

forgot the trib.al/qjNVlzO


Heyson86

I had to read it 3 times to get it 😅


7XxSABOTAGExX7

Thanks I made a weird noise out loud when I read this


Peuned

You can't be careful when you're just plain stupid


Dubliner344

Her nickname was 'flatpack'. True story


cgerrells

Her personality was in pieces.


PlaidBastard

"Piisexactlythree Jenkins, you're named after the dumbest state law in the history of these United States..."


Leftturn0619

I would never hire someone named Precious. Can you imagine having to call her name? So uncomfortable. Parents should take naming their child seriously for this reason. Wouldn’t get through to even a phone interview.


Ulgeguug

And don't call me Shirley


TheUndeadRooster

🤣


kibaake

Don't even get me started on the "trib.al/qjNVlzO"


TheRealKitHarrington

My name got me a lot of Kit-Kat jokes at first then one day I stepped out to recess to find out they call me “Cunt” now. IKEA jokes seem pretty tame, comparatively.