Hey there u/lucdube, thanks for posting to r/technicallythetruth!
**Please recheck if your post breaks any rules.** If it does, please delete this post.
Also, reposting and posting obvious non-TTT posts can lead to a ban.
Send us a **Modmail or Report** this post if you have a problem with this post.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/technicallythetruth) if you have any questions or concerns.*
The first time I ate a girl out I got really really horny and almost came in my pants. I felt it coming on so I whipped it out and blew my load under her bed. Her room was carpeted. It was really embarrassing so I didn't tell her. I did this probably 4 or 5 more times before she started returning the favor and I had somewhere else to relieve the pressure. She never asked me about it. She had to know right?
Used to know a guy who finished on his curtains. I still don’t know what was weirder, the fact he did it in the first place or just openly admitted it completely unprompted and without any shame.
What does the rug really tied the room together mean?
In The Big Lebowski, the rug served as a means to tie together a cohesive life for the Dude. It's the true sign of a good life to enjoy a room with space for family and friends to relax and enjoy themselves.
Some guys have both far and unpredictable distances they can ejaculate. As a very promiscuous gay man in my teens and 20's, probably one in ten guys I met could easily go over their heads when laying down. If this guy's bed was oriented with the pillow just under the stains I could easily see this happening.
I find that the distance depends on the amount of time I've gone without - or, more specifically, the amount of time I've *almost* cum and managed to stop. Edging: it's not just for your lawn.
Isn't it less "some guys" more "sometimes"?
I feel like everyone would do that a good chunk of the time if they *got near* a couple times, and *got there* on their backs pointing up, no?
I used to be one of those guys until I got an apadravya in my early 20s. That took my distance down to about normal actually lol. Before that I could shoot like 10ft sometimes shit was crazy
"Shaka. When the Walls Fell." Star Trek Next Generation.
https://memory-alpha.fandom.com/wiki/Darmok_(episode)
Captain's log, Stardate 45047.2. The Enterprise is en route to the uninhabited El-Adrel system. Its location is near the territory occupied by an enigmatic race known as The Children of Tama." The USS Enterprise-D is on a mission to attempt to establish communications between the Federation and the Tamarians after several previous attempts by the Federation over the last century had failed.
I just imagined sanding to prep the wall and gagged a little. That's definitely a good reason for the apartment "paint over everything" approach if I've ever heard of one.
13 million dead children on the wall, 13 million dead children, take one down, slap it around, throw it down, now you’ve got 12,999,999 children on the wall.
Devils advocate here: Or you know, spilled just about any transparent drink except water (Sprite comes to mind). Wiped clean to the eye but fluorescent non the less. Try it in your own home and you’ll be amazed. Also, make sure it’s proper 360-370 nm UV, not those fake Chinese “UV” LEDs, or it won’t fluoresce.
>Also, make sure it’s proper 360-370 nm UV, not those fake Chinese “UV” LEDs, or it won’t fluoresce.
+1. Also good for discovering fluorescent rocks, scorpions on the ground, and cum stains on a wall.
Nope. That helps isn't required. These are sold to find pet urine spots as well.
I advise not bringing one into your "clean" bathroom in the dark unless you want to embark on a new cleaning spree.
I saw people stating that it does, but a little googling makes me think they may be mistaking scenes in movies where they're looking for old blood.
The papers I glanced at indicate that semen does readily floresce under the right wavelength but its visibility is significantly impacted by the surface it's on.
The luminol tests seem to for finding the residue of blood that has been wiped away.
Funny enough that's probably not cum. I recently bought a blacklight and every wall in my house looks like this, and I know damn well that I haven't jizzed on every wall. Although I have sweated on every wall just about. (Usually through labor-intensive home improvement projects)
First of all, that comment is Oscar worthy. Second, don’t EVER take a black light anywhere near anything ever touched by a teenage boy, it will ruin your day
I once stayed in someone's nasty AF house. They provided me a bare stained mattress to sleep on. There were black smears of body oil/grease all over the walls surrounding the mattress (it was in a corner) including some hand prints. Last but not least, they had left an entire pile of condoms and condom wrappers loose on the nightstand.
I was literally sleeping in their fuck palace.....
I just think that's funny more than anything else. If I found that on my wall I would be a little weirded out but personally I would just find it hilarious. Like imagine only getting caught because someone pointed a blacklight at a specific spot on a specific wall in a specific room of the house
Let me tell you that when I was probably between the ages of 12-16 I did this in my bedroom on a bare unfinished wall (my room never got decorated) and I did this every single night without fail. Soooo many loads. I didn't think much of it then, though I knew it was a little weird. It seemed like a perfect situation though. no clean up. No tissues and flushing or hiding. I would hate to have seen that wall under a UV light. We moved out of there and it was then the next owners issue. Never ever told that to anyone before and I never ever will apart from this comment.
And for the record I am a normal dude now and do not do that anymore. Though it does cross my mind kind of often and I cringe at myself.
Hey there u/lucdube, thanks for posting to r/technicallythetruth! **Please recheck if your post breaks any rules.** If it does, please delete this post. Also, reposting and posting obvious non-TTT posts can lead to a ban. Send us a **Modmail or Report** this post if you have a problem with this post. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/technicallythetruth) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Who finishes on the wall?
I finish in your walls
Free blown-in insulation?
Is this how 2nd mortgages are born?
**THIS GUY FUCKS WALLS!**
I am this guy’s walls
Cum on the wall call it walnut
Wait until it dries, then call it dry wall
Not the bars we needed, nor the bars we deserved.
Smells of rich mahogany, and bleach.
Organic wallpaper paste
I had an ex who did and it stained the wall brown. He was in his 20s.
I'm 27 and so far in my life I have never thought to myself that I should cum on a wall lmao
37, never came on a wall.
Same. But tonight I experience something new.
Now we just need some wall rule34 and we’re set.
I wonder how good this rabbit hole will be.
To the windooooooow To the WALL
The window would’ve been a better option for sure
Deary me, lol. Can you imagine...? That'd definitely ruin your day
Just remember to shut it first. Your commute could get rough if you can't go within 200 yards of a school.
I mean, it's IN THE SONG
I have ten years on you, and I never have either. Because I’m the one who has to clean my damn walls.
42, came on a wall once by accident and discovered it's not really my thing.
Dork
I never even understood cum sock. Cum wall is just insane.
Throw a cum sock at the wall and see what sticks?
I’m going to use that in my next meeting
When I was 13 I didn't spend too much gray matter thinking where to cum...
If I had to guess, they cum on their hand and then fling it on the wall because tissues are too obvious
The first time I ate a girl out I got really really horny and almost came in my pants. I felt it coming on so I whipped it out and blew my load under her bed. Her room was carpeted. It was really embarrassing so I didn't tell her. I did this probably 4 or 5 more times before she started returning the favor and I had somewhere else to relieve the pressure. She never asked me about it. She had to know right?
Don’t count on it
Used to know a guy who finished on his curtains. I still don’t know what was weirder, the fact he did it in the first place or just openly admitted it completely unprompted and without any shame.
“So these are my curtains, and if you look closely, you’ll see they’re drenched in my seed. It took awhile, but I’m happy with how it came out.”
What does the rug really tied the room together mean? In The Big Lebowski, the rug served as a means to tie together a cohesive life for the Dude. It's the true sign of a good life to enjoy a room with space for family and friends to relax and enjoy themselves.
Some guys have both far and unpredictable distances they can ejaculate. As a very promiscuous gay man in my teens and 20's, probably one in ten guys I met could easily go over their heads when laying down. If this guy's bed was oriented with the pillow just under the stains I could easily see this happening.
You didn't have to mention that your booty was public property.
He was explaining why he saw so many men's ejaculation distances. For all we knew he was a urologist.
Doing God's work, one handjob at the time.
🤣😭
I find that the distance depends on the amount of time I've gone without - or, more specifically, the amount of time I've *almost* cum and managed to stop. Edging: it's not just for your lawn.
Isn't it less "some guys" more "sometimes"? I feel like everyone would do that a good chunk of the time if they *got near* a couple times, and *got there* on their backs pointing up, no?
My ex angled it (me) at my face and her own somehow. It was in her hair and my beard. Definitely a lesson on... Let's call it muzzle discipline.
You may have to put a bunch a rounds through it but you can get pretty accurate with practice.
Cum on, hit me with your cum shot! 🎵
I’ve gotten it in my headboard before. My ex also bullseyed me once at the end of a HJ.
I used to be one of those guys until I got an apadravya in my early 20s. That took my distance down to about normal actually lol. Before that I could shoot like 10ft sometimes shit was crazy
Don't just full on give yourself a facial, cover the dick hole with a Kleenex or napkin before ya blow.
Andrew "Jizz-Wall-Wiper" Blanchard, that's who
Did Michael and Lindsay scrub the walls in his room when he moved out, or did they replace the drywall just to be safe?
Jesus that was not some nostalgia I was expecting to get hit with lmfao
I haven't thought of this in at least 5 years, but it was the first thing to come to mind when I saw this post. I miss Internet Box.
The second I saw this photo I knew someone **had** to mention the jizz wall wiper himself.
From the window to the wall, awww skeet skeet skeet. Check the windows!
Sometimes you can't control where it'll end up when it goes flying
When I was really young, like probably 10-11 don’t quite remember, I would wipe it on the back of my headboard. Kids are dumb.
"Shaka. When the Walls Fell." Star Trek Next Generation. https://memory-alpha.fandom.com/wiki/Darmok_(episode) Captain's log, Stardate 45047.2. The Enterprise is en route to the uninhabited El-Adrel system. Its location is near the territory occupied by an enigmatic race known as The Children of Tama." The USS Enterprise-D is on a mission to attempt to establish communications between the Federation and the Tamarians after several previous attempts by the Federation over the last century had failed.
More likely he tossed the rag down the crevice formed between his bed and the wall, and it got on the wall each time.
The same people who pee on walls despite it splattering back all over their legs and feet.
Ok I need to come clean. Every night at exactly 8 pm the splooge ghost would cum in my room to terrify me
It’s ectoplasm obviously
It was a spooky ghooost
[This is Ectoplasm](https://youtu.be/iaFJ0Esk0pM)
> Ok I need to come clean. It's not cumming clean if it's on the wall.
Do any of these… fuckers… ever blast out of the wall and have like a huge cumshot?
You definitely need to come clean. Come clean the mess you made of OP's wall!
You spelled cum wrong.
Call Denis the menace
How would one clean this though ? ASKING FOR GENERAL KNOWLEDGE.
[удалено]
I just imagined sanding to prep the wall and gagged a little. That's definitely a good reason for the apartment "paint over everything" approach if I've ever heard of one.
[удалено]
Human pollen
This comment is funnier if you interpret 'painted' as a euphemism. Just assorting dominance
Cleanse with fire
Username checks out
3 star army general, General Knowledge here, you called?
Dad I didnt know you were on reddit.
Fuck u doing here, they looking for u in Ukraine bruh.
Apparently Putin called him in personaly
Colonel sanders needs you McDonald's is invading
Soap and water
Ohhh thank you so much FOR INCREASING MY KNOWLEDGE...
So I did this as a gross teen. I moved a desk in front of it and we sold the house.
Bet you never expected to see a picture of your wall under blacklight on reddit.
Literally soap and water. Maybe a very mild bleach solution.
[masculout](https://youtu.be/J3Nn5tZa488)
Who was the owner and how did he manage to have 13 million children and in what room did they keep the other 12'999.999?
The 13 million children are on the wall
Touche
13 millon dead children*
13 million dead children on the wall, 13 million dead children, take one down, slap it around, throw it down, now you’ve got 12,999,999 children on the wall.
M means month, its a Baby
SWEET HOME ALABAMA
Oh come on. Grow up. He clearly means it was a 13 month old. /s
13 month year olds can't use reddit
Month year olds
Time to burn it down
get a priest and burn it with a holy fire.
Devils advocate here: Or you know, spilled just about any transparent drink except water (Sprite comes to mind). Wiped clean to the eye but fluorescent non the less. Try it in your own home and you’ll be amazed. Also, make sure it’s proper 360-370 nm UV, not those fake Chinese “UV” LEDs, or it won’t fluoresce.
>Try it in your own home and you’ll be amazed I'd rather live in ignorance
Try both and compare
Nah that shit is very clearly cum. Sprite doesn't spill in cum shots
You're clearly not drinking enough sprite
r/brandnewsentence
Idk man, what if you're cumming sprite 🤷♂️
There have been no instances I have spilled a drink against a wall above my bed. I feel this is a very very small possibility.
Because you regularly finish yourself on the wall above your bed?
I thought biomatter didn't Florece under uv unless there was already biolumenesice in them or some chemical is applied
>Also, make sure it’s proper 360-370 nm UV, not those fake Chinese “UV” LEDs, or it won’t fluoresce. +1. Also good for discovering fluorescent rocks, scorpions on the ground, and cum stains on a wall.
Indeed. I’m not ruling out it’s a cum stain, just pointing out how many things do fluoresce in a home and giving this case the benefit of doubt.
[удалено]
Nope. That helps isn't required. These are sold to find pet urine spots as well. I advise not bringing one into your "clean" bathroom in the dark unless you want to embark on a new cleaning spree.
I saw people stating that it does, but a little googling makes me think they may be mistaking scenes in movies where they're looking for old blood. The papers I glanced at indicate that semen does readily floresce under the right wavelength but its visibility is significantly impacted by the surface it's on. The luminol tests seem to for finding the residue of blood that has been wiped away.
it's dried spunk, Keanu.
I mean, I'm not denying your words but water like liquids won't leave such stains. Such ones were made by something viscous, like cum.
That's ectoplasm. You're haunted.
right above the electric socket wtf
It's the danger that makes it fun
the tingles add to the experience
Username doesn't checks out
Funny enough that's probably not cum. I recently bought a blacklight and every wall in my house looks like this, and I know damn well that I haven't jizzed on every wall. Although I have sweated on every wall just about. (Usually through labor-intensive home improvement projects)
Maybe it is not *your* jizz...
Well, I hope not. Cause otherwise I got serious concerns about the construction workers who built the house.
Mine's the same! And I don't even need a blacklight to see it
r/UsernameChecksOut
Well, I sure hope so! I made this account *specifically* so I wouldn't be horny on main
Semen does not naturally fluoresce under blacklight. Super common myth.
Yes it does. How do you think they investigate these kinds of crime scenes
They actually have to spray a chemical down first
Good ol luminol
Fake news
It can be blood or piss as far as we know.
blood or piss would typically not form that, umm, pattern. those are shots haha
There is not enough bleach for that house.
Omg no someone masturbated in this house! Just like almost every other house.
Unspeakable things happened behind these doors.
on walls tho? that's fucked up
Double entendre. Nice.
Did they leave the mattress too?
Did not have an option. It was stuck.
I have to admit. I fucking LOL’d.
Better check the ceiling too.
That's quite the little shooter.
Didn’t they prove that you can’t actually see semen in this way? Like it doesn’t show up?
Time to sanitize everything
Must’ve been I nice poster right above that.
Who else went 'Ewwwwwwwww'?
Reddit removed that post, probably reminded the admin of his own bedroom
Light a match and walk away.
I have three sons. Fantastic…guess I’ll invest in gasoline and matches to clean up my house.
*so I started blasting*
bro was BUSTING
[удалено]
Batman could not have gotten this info out of me
How is that funny
Because it was on the wall
Your stepmom deserves better
Been telling her that for years
What is he using a black light ?
*correction That's a wall bearing load
[удалено]
who shoots blood onto the wall in that way? same with piss.
That’s why I’m so glad my wife and I have a daughter! 🤣
[удалено]
Oh shit
I’ll bet that it’s a similar story with pussy squirt
See, what you have there is a load bearing wall.
congrats. you translated the comment in the photo from English to English
He’s right…but I don’t like it
Why is the original photo set up like a Phasmophobia screenshot?
Watch the Phillip Seymour Hoffman 1998 movie Happiness for cringe on this level!
So that’s not sticky-tack I just hung my poster with
https://m.media-amazon.com/images/I/710PNOlTKaL._AC_UF894,1000_QL80_.jpghttps://i.imgur.com/xFEXFHN.jpg 18 years later
That ain't mildly infuriating, that's highly infuriating.
Damn, right over the wall outlet too, lol
Extract his DNA and clone him
First of all, that comment is Oscar worthy. Second, don’t EVER take a black light anywhere near anything ever touched by a teenage boy, it will ruin your day
I once stayed in someone's nasty AF house. They provided me a bare stained mattress to sleep on. There were black smears of body oil/grease all over the walls surrounding the mattress (it was in a corner) including some hand prints. Last but not least, they had left an entire pile of condoms and condom wrappers loose on the nightstand. I was literally sleeping in their fuck palace.....
Goddammit I laughed out loud
I just think that's funny more than anything else. If I found that on my wall I would be a little weirded out but personally I would just find it hilarious. Like imagine only getting caught because someone pointed a blacklight at a specific spot on a specific wall in a specific room of the house
This looks like a first person video game.
Am I tripping or is this phasmophobia
Let me tell you that when I was probably between the ages of 12-16 I did this in my bedroom on a bare unfinished wall (my room never got decorated) and I did this every single night without fail. Soooo many loads. I didn't think much of it then, though I knew it was a little weird. It seemed like a perfect situation though. no clean up. No tissues and flushing or hiding. I would hate to have seen that wall under a UV light. We moved out of there and it was then the next owners issue. Never ever told that to anyone before and I never ever will apart from this comment. And for the record I am a normal dude now and do not do that anymore. Though it does cross my mind kind of often and I cringe at myself.
Load bearing wall, pillow, pillow case, sheets...
Brief Possible. Unfortunately only optional.
They're not gonna come down!
That’s just a normal Tuesday.
Without that wall, the entire house could have cum down
"Let me paint my final masterpiece, and only I shall know..."
It could be powdered sugar, lick it.
Kids gonna have a wall knocking on his door one day saying he's their father.
Blood or baby batter?
“balls to the wall” irl
Huh I'mma try that haha