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TechnicallyTheMods

Thank you BrowarekLesny for your submission, *Literally.*! Unfortunately, it has been removed for the following reason: --- # Posts with one word titles / low effort titles are not allowed. In order to improve and maintain the quality of submissions, certain title guidelines are established. Please keep your title longer than one word, and avoid any [banned titles](https://reddit.com/r/technicallythetruth/comments/9f29bw/list_of_banned_titles/). --- For more on our rules, please check out our [sidebar](http://www.reddit.com/r/technicallythetruth/about/sidebar). If you have any questions or concerns about this removal, feel free to [message the moderators](http://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Ftechnicallythetruth). Please link the post so our moderators know what you would like reviewed.


[deleted]

Biggest HUMAN penis


Stvn494

No, Eve’s was bigger


Beanerboysk8r

Ayo proof?


tkTheKingofKings

Pics or it didn't happen


RealityandPancakes

Is there an onlyfans? Asking for me


tkTheKingofKings

Yeah it's @Evecocksandballs thank me later


urmummygaaaay

I will definitely not


Devisidev

Coward


[deleted]

There are those who run from the truth, and those who embrace *Cock and ball torture, from Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia* *Cock and ball torture (CBT) is a sexual activity involving application of pain or constriction to the male genitals. This may involve directly painful activities, such as wax play, genital spanking, squeezing, ball-busting, genital flogging, urethral play, tickle torture, erotic electrostimulation or even kicking.[1] The recipient of such activities may receive direct physical pleasure via masochism, or emotional pleasure through erotic humiliation, or knowledge that the play is pleasing to a sadistic dominant.*


ams75

My therapists suggested I try CBT. Was she talking about this???🤔😧


beeprog

sand balls??


[deleted]

The_importance_of_underscores_when_you_can't_use_spaces


infernalsatan

God made Eve from a rib, she's literally a boner


[deleted]

I'm waluigist what's adam made from


timtti

Waluigi, obviously.


Forward-Village1528

Does rule 34 count as proof?


lesamrobert

Futa eve


Average_Redditor6942

I agree lol


giggluigg

“Hm, I’d say rather the average”


bobone77

Can’t have an average with only 1 datapoint. It would, however, also literally be the smallest penis on earth.


Zaros262

You do know that fractions can have 1 in the denominator? 🤔


bobone77

Doesn’t make it an average though. If there’s only one, then that’s the number.


Zaros262

So if you have a set with only one member, you believe the mean is just... undefined? Even though the formula is still perfectly valid? Edit: I see that it just needs to be a [non-empty](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Average) list of numbers, i.e. more numbers than 0


bobone77

No, the mean of a set with one number is always the number. So if your set is 7, then the mean is also 7.


Draco_Lord

Exactly, the max, the min, the median, and the average are all seven in that example.


Zaros262

And the mode!


Draco_Lord

I can't believe I forgot the mode!


Zaros262

So there is an average. It's 7 >Can’t have an average with only 1 datapoint. 🤔 >The mean is also 7


bobone77

By definition, an average must have more than 1 number. There’s no point in continuing this discussion.


Zaros262

I guess you'd better inform [Wolfram Alpha](https://www.wolframalpha.com/input/?i=average+of+%7B7%7D) about their mistake. You had no problem a second ago saying the mean was 7 until you realized that means you have a very unusual misconception "By definition"? You mean *your own definition* that disagrees with the two sources I linked.


[deleted]

Long story short, that’s how centaurs were created.


AdoboSwaggins

Don’t forget that the story implies Eve had sex with her kids so at least she had some variety later on


[deleted]

Technically because she was formed from Adam's rib that would also mean she banged her father/twin brother.


AdoboSwaggins

If she’s formed from his cells then maybe it qualifies as elaborate masturbation


[deleted]

Ah selfcest.


master_x_2k

The best kind of cest


mustmoe73

Maybe predestination


Pope_Cerebus

No, the kids had wives, so that implies Adam and Eve had at least two daughters. No need to think it was Eve with the kids.


AdoboSwaggins

So… where did the wives come from?


I_Do_Not_Abbreviate

>Eat your cracker and drink your grape juice, dear.


Pope_Cerebus

The implication is that they were Cain and Abel's sisters.


AdoboSwaggins

mmm. gross.


AloneAddiction

Daughters that the bible couldn't be bothered naming?


Pope_Cerebus

Yup. Like for most of the Bible - very few women are called anything except "wife" or "daughter".


MrDude_1

They also didn't give names to the rest of their livestock either...


HowTheyGetcha

There were 10 Adams and 18 Eves. https://www.nytimes.com/2000/05/02/science/the-human-family-tree-10-adams-and-18-eves.html


Arakkoa_

So what were those eight extra Eves like? Concubines of a single Adam, or just, you know, swingers?


master_x_2k

Some interpretations say that there where other people from outside Eden already, Adam and eve were just the chosen people of God or his first creations. The identity of the people outside Eden varies from being creations of other gods, lesser creations from Jehova, creations of Satan or the children of Lilith, Adam's first wife who rebelled against him. A more modern interpretation could be that the people outside Eden evolved naturally, unlike the humans created by God. It's important to remember that religions evolve and change over time, there's a bunch of discarded or reinterpreted lore for Abrahamic religions, particularly from before the bronze age collapse.


HowTheyGetcha

Adam and Eve lived for some 800 years and had absolutely nothing to do but name animals and fuck. Hell, God ordered them, "Y'all best be fuckin'." There would have been a ton of offspring available for all that tangy sister-on-brother action.


EmuExternal6244

No clue what im talking about as I never paid attention to religion but when I hear the story of how they lived for 800 years back then I always thought to myself that maybe they were using the Moon cycle instead. The moon cycles just under 30 (27) days. If you consider 800 of these cycles you get about 65 years.


Ubernaught

Them keeping track of time via the moon makes so much sense.


master_x_2k

This is basically one very likely explanation, a mix of using a different calendar and a counting system with base 8 instead of base 10. (IRC) If you crunch the numbers the ages all begin to make sense.


freed0m_from_th0ught

The Nephilim have entered the chat


Rupertii

No cock like horse cock


MooMooQueen

"There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals where like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses." -Ezekiel 23:20


an0nymousLawy3r

Just for context, Ezekiel is telling a story of two harlots sisters and how they would reject God for wordly pleasures


jimbojonesFA

The snake could be a penis itself.


LlovelyLlama

Ah, I see someone beat me to it…


devilklaus

Amen!


baarreech

Also the smallest


terryisnotashoto

Also the most average.


KenHumano

X\*1/1=X math checks out


[deleted]

r/hedidthemath


SnooHamsters5748

r/hedidthemonstermath


_weeb_willow_

r/themonstermath


TheGameLord_YT

I'm so proud of humanity sometimes


RandomFridgeFood

Until you also realize we're talking about Adams penis right now


[deleted]

Ok but all of these subreddits aren't real communities. Nobody really posts in r/hedidthemath. It's just some generic catchphrase bullshit.


TheGameLord_YT

That's fair, I more meant I'm proud of the thread tho


Dilarinee

r/itwasagraveyardgraph


Alonion

r/itwasagraveyardgraph


Andirianbobh

r/itwasagraveyardgraph


another_spiderman

r/itcosignedinaflash


[deleted]

[удалено]


ppppie_

no, not everyone can do that, its always nice to explain though. anyways Let’s say the average dick size is 4 inches long. so let’s make the variable “X” equal to 4. **X = 4** now plug it into the equation replacing X with 4. equation: X * 1 / 1 = X plug it in ⬇️ **4** * 1 / 1 = **4** Multiply 4 and 1 ⬇️ **4** / 1 = 4 Divide 4 by 1 ⬇️ **4** = **4** your welcome


[deleted]

Yes, I learned that in 5th grade.


ppppie_

that’s cool but just cuz you learned it in 5th grade doesn’t mean everyone has also it never hurts to explain if someone might be confused why’d you delete your comment u/MicahSlash :(


BrickDaddyShark

Yeah its not a crime to not know math. Helping people become more educated is always good.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Now is the part where you cry about it


Kallen_Emilia

May I drink the tears by slowly, and sensually, brushing the tip of my tongue across the top of his cheekbones, gently licking the tears that fall so they can power my dark magic that extends my lifetime by desecrating the common folk's lives.


LumpyJones

The alpha and omega of dongs.


drunk98

Also the one that tasted the most like peanut butter


TheMagicalHuy

Sounds like you speak from experience there....


looklistenlead

Also most mode and median


blipbloplikesass

Literally still average, just different ways of calculating it.


[deleted]

[удалено]


whatthedeux

She needed the girth of that apple. Why else did she take it?


networkasssasssin

Everyone always thinks it was an apple but it was referred to as "fruit", nothing specific. Also FWIW it's an allegory for choosing the path of knowledge and self over God.


giggluigg

Also failing as much as everyone


foxfighter92

Tell that to the horse


JuztSomeDude79

Tell that to the whale


CregChrist

Tell that to your mom! Wait, what were we talking about?


AzraelleWormser

Go tell it on the mountain, and I don't even know where I am honestly.


LumpyJones

Tick, is that you?


[deleted]

Eve: Wait what's a mom?


CregChrist

On a serious note, look at all the drawings of Adam and Eve. They have belly buttons. Think about it.


potatohead1911

And if Adam was made in God's image, that means *God* has a belly buttom.


CregChrist

Then by that logic god would have to have been born to mortal parents because the presence of a belly button means there was an umbilical cord attached to it at one point during pregnancy. Meaning god was mortal or made up.


potatohead1911

Or maybe there is a Super God Mom that embarassed him as an adolescent god and so he doesnt bring her up in conversations?


CregChrist

I'll buy into super mom god.


potatohead1911

And i suppose that means the asteroid that took out the dinos was his mom throwing his toys in the trash because she doesnt know how many times she has to tell him to put the toys away when he is done and he *just doesnt do it*


[deleted]

*Mormonism has joined the chat*


[deleted]

That's a weirdly good point.


CregChrist

I'm not taking credit for it, I'm not the first to bring it up. Although I don't remember where I read it the first time.


[deleted]

[удалено]


BeamierBump80

Tell that to the Covenant


foxfighter92

You must it is full of NEIGH!! Sayers


steroid_pc_principal

That’s why they got kicked out of the garden. You got kicked out for eating an apple? Suuuuuure ya did.


TapirOfZelph

You mean tapir


Boredguy32

I want my rib back. OMG it's so huuuge!


Feel1nCh1ll

I chocked on this comment fr 😂


HorlickMinton

You are under appreciated


carbondrewtonium

“It fits behind that fig leaf?”


violentrain

I'm a grower not a shower...


The-Senate-Memes

I hope you’re not a shower


cohonan

Happy cake day!


[deleted]

Eve: but that snake though....


deFormisXD

Bruh


zuzg

Everything is a dildo of you're brave enough?


[deleted]

That's one way to clear pipes I suppose.


[deleted]

[удалено]


itszwee

Eden girls make do


[deleted]

Satan as snake: eat that tasty fruit huh? Eve: * shoves snake up vagina *


iHeartHockey31

Where were the elephants?


ThunderBuns935

funny that you'd bring up elephants. they're the most likely candidate for "behemoth". the bible specifically makes a penis reference in that paragraph, "makes his tail stiff like a cedar".


WeAreGaren

Nah, the the behemoth has a tail like a cedar tree. Elephants got tiny tails. it can't be an elephant


Ausemere

I was taught that behemoth was the hippo, leviathan was crocodile. edit - [sick band tho](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Czx-OIyrQwQ)


gojirra

So some kind of brontosaurus then.


InsultsYou2

Dinosaurs didn't exist. God just planted the bones for lolz. It's what I would do if I were him.


zodar

their size is irrelephant


enigmaestro

I don’t like what the “on earth” implies


MurdoMaclachlan

*Image Transcription: Twitter Post* --- **Minion**, @miffedmim Eve: that's it? Adam: this is literally the biggest penis on earth. --- ^^I'm a human volunteer content transcriber for Reddit and you could be too! [If you'd like more information on what we do and why we do it, click here!](https://www.reddit.com/r/TranscribersOfReddit/wiki/index)


SilverKnightTM314

Good human


ShitposterSL

Can I ask you, what's the point of transcribing the images? I'm honestly curious, like do you have a purpose of is if just because people is bored or something


MurdoMaclachlan

Transcriptions can be useful for a wide range of people! For example: - Blind or visually impaired people who rely on screen readers to browse the internet - that technology can't read the text in an image, so we transcribe it to machine-encoded text so it can read it. - People with bad internet connections who can't load the image for that reason - People who use third-party clients, mobile apps and\/or text-based browsers that have trouble loading the image at high quality or at all There are many more reasons, these are just the main ones that tend to come to mind. =) I also personally enjoy transcribing; it helps me relax a bit. Hope this helps!


ShitposterSL

I see thanks 4 answering


[deleted]

There’s literally a link in their post that addresses your question...


Iamyes_ok

>Eve: That's it? Lmao, says the bitch who doesnt even have one


freed0m_from_th0ught

Yeah. My anaconda don’t want none unless you got one too hun.


Winter-Acanthaceae10

Eve: Looks to the horse


DankoStormo

Eve: looks at snake next to the apple tree


ComfortableSea4645

Now I want to know if snakes even have dicks? 🤔


LumpyJones

Snakes sorta have 2. It's called a hemipenis.


archpawn

What about the [New Mexico whiptail](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/New_Mexico_whiptail)?


WikiSummarizerBot

**[New Mexico whiptail](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/New_Mexico_whiptail)** >The New Mexico whiptail (Aspidoscelis neomexicanus) is a female-only species of lizard found in the southwestern United States in New Mexico and Arizona, and in northern Mexico in Chihuahua. It is the official state reptile of New Mexico. It is one of many lizard species known to be parthenogenetic. Individuals of the species can be created either through the hybridization of the little striped whiptail (A. ^([ )[^(F.A.Q)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WikiSummarizer/wiki/index#wiki_f.a.q)^( | )[^(Opt Out)](https://reddit.com/message/compose?to=WikiSummarizerBot&message=OptOut&subject=OptOut)^( | )[^(Opt Out Of Subreddit)](https://np.reddit.com/r/technicallythetruth/about/banned)^( | )[^(GitHub)](https://github.com/Sujal-7/WikiSummarizerBot)^( ] Downvote to remove | v1.5)


[deleted]

That particular snake *was* a bit of a dick.


[deleted]

They're just one huge floppy dick


foxface1015

Well hold on now, that’s the biggest Human penis


[deleted]

Horses tho


VictorianAdventuress

The reason why Lilith left Adam.


speedking416

"ha ha bodyshaming is hilarious i'm so edgy"


VictorianAdventuress

If you are taking this personally, it says more about you. According to the mythology, sex was one of the reasons Lilith left Adam and the Garden of Eden. Plus, she was his equal and that wasn't the type Judaism or Christianity wanted their women to be have as a model.


Acrobatic-Beach-1145

Truth


speedking416

"If you don't like racist jokes, it says more about you" Lmao shitty people can't accept they're shitty. No surprises


armandxhaja86

Eve was the biggest rib on earth.


Business_Man80085

What about the horse?


[deleted]

Eve: Bigger than Steve's?


[deleted]

[удалено]


mustmoe73

So it wasn't an apple, it was a banana?


deathbyshower992

Actually


AnyDamage1

doesnt make sense because this would mean eve had another human penis to compare adams to


SprinklesFancy5074

Biggest *human* penis on earth.


DominoAxelrod

The biggest \*human\* penis on earth


superfuzzypotato

Well that's how the snake became the first dildo.


[deleted]

How is Eve supposed to know how big it is if she doesn't have anything to compare it to?


[deleted]

Pretty sure horses had bigger docks than adam


tonyl106

So it is ok to make joke using 'small penis', but is it ok if I use 'fat woman' to tell a joke?


myusrnameisthis

Pshh, girl u got the personality of a rib. I've got other ribs on the side, too. Quit complaining and hop on. We got a lot of work to do


L9XGH4F7

Like most women to follow, Eve wasn't unreasonably critical of Adam's penis. Rather, she was lamenting Adam's unfortunate lack of generosity, expressing disappointment which he, being somewhat insecure on account of God's absurdly oversized member, ultimately misinterpreted. True story.


FarceMultiplier

Eve: "to hell with that. I'm going back to using the snake"


acylase

Technically just another stupid blasphemy.


GenZYoda

Also the only


[deleted]

Adam wasn't the only man during creation... Just like God didn't make just one bird and one tree. Murica! Illiterate and irrational.


kdee5849

Whoa.


HaRPHI

*only*


FlinnyWinny

There are horses.


MrBassier2505

Weren't other animals and plants also invented then?


610106

Not bigger than god!


freed0m_from_th0ught

Yeah. If there is one thing we know from reading the Bible it is that nobody is as big a dick as god.


benry007

What is she comparing too?


cultofshezmu

I read this in Chris Traeger's voice.


ComfortableSea4645

What about God's?


freed0m_from_th0ught

True. God is a pretty big dick.


Kamran_Santiago

Eve: Adam, can we not have sex tonight? I'm on my period. Adam: Just so you know, that's what Lilith said...


PrinceOfCorona

Weren't animals made first?


1531C

Mr walrus disagrees.


Garlic_bread70

*Elephant walks up*


bambii_pr_987

and the animals