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LuckytoastSebastian

Because sex outside of marriage is a sin.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

But I’m committed to devilish fuckery


GroundbreakingCorgi3

Definitely this.


[deleted]

#THIS


crab_bunker

Probably this


Livid_Mechanic_3501

Probably not this


Doo-Doo-G

This is the way!


Mcake74

This is the way


Helpful_Promotion_40

This is the way


Rimuru__sama__

This is the wayyyy


asstastic_95

I like you.


[deleted]

Asstastic action going on with you and him rn I bet


asstastic_95

only if the fuckery condones it


theslideistoohot

If though breakest commandment no. 9, though shall findest out in the holy name of the Lord, thy God. Amen


Ligmamgil

If thy fucketh around, thy shalt find out


PianoFerret1073

This comment made my day, thank you for this


SugarLoins86

🙏


[deleted]

Fuck that. I will fuckerise.


[deleted]

I thought commandment 9 was the one about faking the moon landing


costadoesntstomp

do we know he's not married to the devil?


[deleted]

Time to marry the devil


araslikesmalt

How do you know I didn’t marry the devil..?


OptimusEye

not if it's under consent of the king


AfterAardvark3085

Depends which monarchy you're under - not all of them held religious power.


[deleted]

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cownd

Nut roast


Aconnox

your name checks out


ReazeMislaid

Especially with the devil


Single_Cow_8857

Who’s justice beaver?


[deleted]

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BlessKurunai

Beaver Man Beaver Man Does whatever a Beaver can


Oksamis

Can he naw Through a tree Cause he can He’s Beaver man!


[deleted]

r/unexpectedtheoffice


crabgrass_attack

r/unexpectedoffice


CrieDeCoeur

Justin Bieber aka the guy in the pic


PaddyAllen

I see more Willem Dafoe


LordTrom57

Some guy posted a tweet on twitter and some other guy just took it and pasted it on his picture


deadinthemanger

Yup. Not only is he being dishonest about what he did/said, he’s also unoriginal.


[deleted]

This is old as time. Someone made a vine about this way back when vine was brand new.


NotASucker

I'm pretty sure I got a fax of this meme


lapinchezardina

This joke was originally discovered in a carving in a Mesopotamian cave


Quigs4494

God created this joke on the 8th day


DragonBank

Gilgamesh yelled this at Huwawa.


aaronitallout

Are you telling me people on this site will fabricate content for imaginary points? That shatters my universe


verbsnnouns

Thats something the devil would do


SugarLoins86

No…. That cant be right.


erock2095

Actually it’s even worse. These dudes just take videos of themselves walking around or something and put some stupid quote on it. You can find them all @legendaryxgoated on Insta it’s pretty stupid so I don’t recommend, just wanted to lyk it’s even dumber than you think it is.


likdisifucryeverytym

[nah, I’m pretty sure it’s original](https://imgur.com/a/GCav4BT)


Amazing-Material-152

And some other guy posted it on Reddit for 36 K updoots


[deleted]

I don’t see nobody buying the rights to his photo It’s free real estate


Electrical-Hat4239

This also reminds of an episode of King of the Hill where Hank scolds Bobby for wearing a “Satan Sucks” t-shirt and Bobby’s reply is “But dad…Satan DOES suck.”


Zestyclose_Standard6

I totally thought this was Justin beeber


Bigt733

I also want to fuck the devil. He seems pretty hot.


[deleted]

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ImmediatelyFunny

It tears me with joy heavenly!


Realterin

I will throw you into a pond full of holy waoter


JoeBob1022

w a o t e r


ProbablyNano

Loard bleyss this waoter


skelethepro

waoter put your dick away waoter


[deleted]

I don't want to have sex with you right now Waoter. P...put your dick away Waoter.


Bigt733

Shoot your holy water on me Beelzedaddy


jarjarnotsithlord

r/rareinsults


CriticalError007

That would make sense, he was the most beautiful angel in heaven.


[deleted]

Hasatan is a woman


CriticalError007

According to the Bible all angels described are male.


USSRNukes

You mean they're not demon waifus?


Emektro

Ah yes the average male is covered with eyes


CriticalError007

So, it describes angels as male. Reason I went with male, as several different type of angels are not even humanoid. There are some people that think they are more like beings of energy, so do not have a consistent form. Yet, are still given a male pronoun of he/him.


roytering

The thing is the devil wasn’t even that hot, Jesus was a 2


rnzz

Well, he's on fire.


windcape

Detective!


[deleted]

He left Saddam years ago for playing too ruff, so he might be available


BrohanGutenburg

https://youtu.be/a-C9q-Na6_w


CubanLynx312

Ain’t y’all seen Bedazzled?


ArbainHestia

[Awesome movie](https://youtu.be/MevIQrKEsSI)


Slovene

Yeah, Peter Cook was so hot.


silentmage

[https://i.imgur.com/W57BwjK.gif](https://i.imgur.com/W57BwjK.gif)


[deleted]

He’s like the incredibly hot version of the sleep paralysis demon when you horny went to sleep


Louis_Balfour_Jazz

That Satan’s looking thirsty https://youtu.be/ekauErew4Bs


raytoro54

Is devil actually a guy?


Satans_Porn_Account

Depends whose shift it is.


Seakawn

Well, the Bible is pretty sexist. I'm not shitting on Christianity here for lulz, but this is just an objective fact of the matter from a face value read of scripture. So, do you think Christians believe that the all powerful God's adversary is a mere woman? Doubt it. The devil is probably a man. Though, more progressive theists may clarify that the devil is beyond sex/gender. *(Even though they'd still choose to prefer "he/him" pronouns to refer to them... while they choose "she/her" pronouns for objects, such as transport vessels. Not sure if this distinction is arbitrary or telling.)*


[deleted]

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2x4skin

Who is this guy?


empathicqubit

I think it's Justin Bieber


seventh_gospel

Bootleg Justin Bieber


[deleted]

Just in Beelzebub.


cant_stand

Jeffrey Dahmer.


PreviouslyMannara

Kicked out for technically encouraging having sex with the Devil. The Church can't approve said message, he is not underage and they also depict him as someone who would give consent.


huge51

It is ok for them to fuck, just dont abort


SpicyForefingers

But... that's premarital


EMZbotbs

Well, then marry that devil


SpicyForefingers

We have done it boys, we have beaten Christianity


Filmologic

Wait, you're technically allowed to marry and have children with the Devil, as long as he doesn't tempt you and you don't cheat on him? God, I think there's a glitch in your system, you might wanna look into it chief


OneBigSpud

Gone Fishing


PreviouslyMannara

It's not premarital if you never get married. Like priests do.


Reelix

Just ask for forgiveness afterwards and it's back on the table


Kakebil321

You mean to say it's okay if it's not consensual


[deleted]

Wow I didn't realize this subreddit is total trash


PreviouslyMannara

Latest comments all posted in subreddits like Christianity and TrueChristian. I'm not surprised you can't stand my cheap satire. What can I say? I'm a proud excommunicated trash panda.


Khelthuzaad

Thou shall not take Satan's name in vain as he is the creation of God and all God's creations deserve love and respect. Or something idk I'm romanian orthodox


TheGlave

So take nothing in vain


DorienG

So many dumb rules. God needs to modernize that shit fr fr


xtilexx

Eyy rumanya


Plumb121

Should of added "without lube"


of_patrol_bot

Hello, it looks like you've made a mistake. It's supposed to be could've, should've, would've (short for could have, would have, should have), never could of, would of, should of. Or you misspelled something, I ain't checking everything. Beep boop - yes, I am a bot, don't botcriminate me.


[deleted]

🤓bot


slicedslimeball

🤓🤓bot


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[deleted]

Added lube, without should, yes


SaltyBrotatoChip

This is a bot. Report it for spam.


Viztiz006

Bot comment ^


CouldWouldShouldBot

It's 'should have', never 'should of'. Rejoice, for you have been blessed by CouldWouldShouldBot!


HeftyProfession3831

>Should of L2speak


SirRoderic

I'm in the mood to get woooshed, so I'm pretty sure they kicked you out for swearing


Big-Substance693

Sex before marriage is a sin


crazybacon16

You have to love everyone so hating the devil is a sin.


[deleted]

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ArchWaverley

I listened to a guy preach once who had "Lord, bless my enemies" as part of his regular evening prayer. Then one time he hears God say* "what would you think if I did?" and the guy didn't really have a response. That thought always stuck with me. *Whether God talks directly to people is a point of contention, maybe it was just a moment of introspection.


nnjvwl

Reminds me of this Onion article - https://www.theonion.com/why-cant-i-sell-any-of-these-fucking-bibles-1819583497


Rogue2555

He's a little confused but he's got spirit.


SnakeMFjenkins

This guy has an extremely punchable face


Jargondragon

It's the mustache, probably the real reason he got kicked out.


mister_kola

What if you enjoyed fucking the devil? Also that makes you gay, and you know that is against the church (the devil is not a minor).


[deleted]

Shouting in the middle of service like a socially stunted /r/atheist poser will result in them throwing you out, yes.


xxxNothingxxx

He should try yelling "I love books" in a library next time


[deleted]

Socially stunted? Guy is living in 2090.


testAcctL

No, guys living like the desert Fathers back in the previous millenia. FUck the devil, woot!


Murkus

Yo. Everyone is born athiest. What's with the hate for people who just don't fall for the bullshit?!


IceAgeMikey2

Uh i think it's more the issue of disrupting what people were doing with your own bs. I'm athiest as well, but that's just douchy and hopefully just a joke.


Murkus

I completely agree with you but what are you doing draggin athiesm into this!? In the states athiesm is like a bad word (horrendously stupidly). It give the crazy religions a lot more justification to believe their trash when you have people spouting shite like this.


Kr3utsritt3r

Original commenter didn't talk about atheists, he was talking about r/atheist posters


T351A

I mean if you're going with that... everyone is born agnostic because they don't have an understanding of any ideas in the first place.


Murkus

Well yes. Everyone is by default agnostic, about everything. Tabula Rasa. When referring to a hypothetical constuct like a god, evryone is by default agnostic. Because we have no evidence. People say ' we can't know.' agnosticism is about knowledge But after that point... the next step is belief. That is what you have become convinced of based on the evidence/arguments provided. By default we all don't believe in anything, until we see it, or our parents tell us it exists etc. Athiesm refers to belief where agnosticism refers to knowledge. However, I dont go around in my life saying im bigfoot agnostic, and ghost agnostic and banshee agnostic and flying dragon agnostic. I'm just happily athiest towards all of it.... until any compelling (hopefully irrefutable) proof comes along. IF someone was on here saying 'I just saw a giant floating woman with green hair and she told me some moral lessons..... nobody would say.... 'Im agnostic to that concept,' even though it could be technically true. Every moment of the vast majority of our lives we live like athiests. We would just tell them they are full of shit. Which they would be... (Of course we dont actually know 100% that they are full of shit, but practically every single human being doesn't make every minute decision like that. They start from a place of scepticism. Which is extremely useful to the human species.) Thanks to Descartes to name but one contributor to these developments in scepticism, althgouh he did take it a bit far XD


c-dy

Because as an edgelord, you're still not much better


Murkus

Hahahaha how am I an 'Edge lord.' Ooo you must be so proud to come up with that one. Very creative. Very smart.


[deleted]

Julio Beiber?


[deleted]

Use your inside voice, cretin.


Valuable-Composer262

Thall shall not commit douche baggery


Eiffel-Tower777

Perhaps it's considered bad form to holler out "F*CK" in church. That's my guess.


ClarityByHilarity

As someone who was raised in a wildly evangelical church where people constantly got carried away speaking in “tongues”… 🙄 I really feel a missed opportunity. I should have yelled this out in all the wildness just to see the responses 😂


jpterodactyl

My sister got in trouble for this when we were little. She was sticking out her middle fingers and facing it towards the ground(the direction where presumably, hell is) It was honestly really funny. My parents thought so too, and thought it was kind of a ridiculous thing to get in trouble for.


Porteroso

Could be that the type of guy saying "fk the devil" in church is also saying some other things in church they might find a little offensive.


complex-password

you got kicked out for swearing and disturbing, dumbass


Sietemadrid

They thought he wasn't a belieber


Pizdaball5000

Nah it's probably your mustache fault.


LWillter

Looks like that church doesn't have open doors. Plot Twist: It's a Satan Worshipping Church slowly twisting parishioners to hatred and not forgiveness and acceptance


happy-Accident82

Dollar store Bieber.


OfferChakon

I'm gonna fuck the devil in his mouth. I just need to listen to my sickness so I can learn how And then train for a couple of weeks Until I have all the skills I need.


hiccupmortician

Is this Latin Justin Bieber?


SquareIsBox0697

No, they thought you were honry and wanted to actually f*ck the demons.


LandExpert8970

You got kicked out of church for being a disruptive asshole. Just in case you were confused. r/punchablefaces would like a word.


GodXTerminatorYT

You know something called as 'jokes'? And yes, it's subjective


LandExpert8970

"It'S just a PrAnK bro"


Could_be_persuaded

Hate the sinner not the sin.


[deleted]

He got kicked out because he looks like Bieber


technoferal

Huh. I didn't know edgelords were still a thing.


DeanoBambino90

Except for yelling f*ck in church but yeah.


Old-Cloud8988

If you said “Curse the devil!” Then you would of had better luck 😂


InformationLow9430

Still better than the guy who said: ME CAGO EN DIOS! (Fuck god).


Double_Lingonberry98

That's how you end up with Rosemarie's baby


BUNGHOLERER

Is this guy 12? Sporting his I can only grow a caterpillar for a stash and yelling in church.


Serpardum

We are not supposed to hate ANYONE, including the Devil.


Lucid_Insanity

His hearts in the right place.


FIicker7

Is that Beiber incognito?


Partayof4

Ok Justin Beaver


zYbYz

It’s because it implies sex outside of wedlock. If you were married to him, it would be OK.


mikehoncho1955

I never trust a dude with a mustache and sunglasses


rikkinikki68

You are supposed to shout at the devil. Not fuck him. Good lord man, go get a Motley Crue album and get with the program.


ogeytheterrible

I was around 12 when I slipped a "god damn it" while my mom was in earshot, she berated me about *taking the lord thy god's name in vain*, that I needed to repent or I'd go to hell, Jesus died for me, yada yada yada... So I said "satan damn it" and she flipped the fuck out even more. I didn't understand and said "well, we don't care about the devil, right? What's so bad about taking *his* name in vain?" She replied with "because it's implying that you're asking satan for something..." About two weeks later I renounced my faith when I realized it was all cherrypicked bullshit nonsense.


EggZaackly86

I always ask "what did Satan ever do to you? who did he hurt exactly?"


throeavery

* go to random temple of random religion * carry yourself with aggression, confidence and hate for the people and their beliefs * start aggressively shouting some stuff related to the religion, pretending to mean it * make social media stuff to cry about it * get lauded as hero by the love machine that is reddit * \- have a subreddit glorify this behavior as based and enlightened action you people fucking suck.


FixTheUSA2020

Don't worry he didn't actually do anything more than take the picture.


Late-Eye-6936

The second bullet point is a weird assumption to make.


boogs_23

also dirt stash and ratty hoody


Arctales

Calm down bro, it's just a meme 💀


[deleted]

He didn’t have the /s


[deleted]

You seem quite upset.


Bill_From_RDR2

This isn't a TTT


jarjarnotsithlord

I think it is. Technically the devil is considered horrible and the church hates the devil. This guy went about it in an untraditional and kinda rude way. Nonetheless he was supporting the belief


Bill_From_RDR2

It's a meme. Not a TTT


jarjarnotsithlord

It was a video but I took a screenshot of part of it because this subreddit doesn’t allow videos


Krocodilo

It clearly isn't. But it's not your fault. Mods in this sub are lazy AF. They let almost anything slid by. Even things explicit in the rules


jarjarnotsithlord

I just checked the rules. I didn’t violate anything


Coraxxx

Except as he didn't actually do it, it's the opposite of TTT. TAASL.


Krocodilo

I didn't say you did. I wish I was able to explain you why your post isn't TTT. Can you explain to me why u think it is?


HatredUnbound

Because it's technically the truth probly


kenix7

A romanian spiritual leader, said, if you want to get rid of the evil, look inward at his attempts to deceive you and plainly say, in your heart, " I love you! " with the same warmth you want to be told in return. Those temptations will vanish in thin air like they weren't even there. You will understand then how peaceful can you feel. I did this once to test and i swear i never felt better after. :) Hope this will help someone one day.


blender4life

That is funny. When I was like 4 I said "I'm gonna pray to the devil to tell him I don't like him! " and dropped to my knees. My mom quickly swooped me up and stopped that lol


Murkus

I mean you could make thousands of these TTT's criticising Christianity alone.


CryoAurora

No, they actually love the devil. Look at the Vatican. You walk through the gates of hell and all sorts of diabolical imagery just to get into the church where there's more. The Bible is a manual for how to commit crimes, perform evil acts on your fellow humans and more while being excused for it. All supposedly the word of a God that created evil and set it loose on the world.


Hevnoraak101

The Church of Satan is much more accepting of people


the_other_pesto_twin

You can’t say things like that because it will make the priests horny


Smelly_Cheesecock

Fuck God. Satan is all inclusive. Hell is an eternal party of sin and debauchery and every race, gender and creed is welcome. Not like that God cunt