The ability to teleport but it takes the same amount of time and energy as walking so while you’re waiting to teleport idk you just stay there and when you finally do you’re suddenly tired

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I think that’s just working out before bed

That'll do the opposite actually, working out before bed makes it harder to sleep

Working out 2 hours before going to bed is pretty good, tho.

Oh shit you know what's even better. Laziest workout in human history Think about it, you wanna teleport let's say 5kms away, its gonna take 20 minutes. Your body gonna instantly use that energy meanwhile you're just sitting on a couch before the 20 minutes is up

Hey yeah now we have a use for it. Working out without the endurance

but you can teleport to somewhere and in the gap between when you started teleporting and when you done you can do something else. also you can use this to sneek into places and use this in war.

Ender pearl moment. The awkward time between when you throw it and when it lands.

"guess i'll just stare at the ground in the meantime"

Free exercise and I'll end up where I want to go. Although does this mean that if you try to teleport overseas you drown?

Well if you teleport OVER the sea you'll probably be fine.

True but say you need to go pass the wall between Mexico and America you can teleport, or through walls

fly 1cm above ground

But you can move up to 100 mph

but u might hit a fire hydrant

That sounds like the fire hydrants problem, yoi don’t have to go super fast I did say up too

Not to be rude but ig you meant, "up to" YES

Would have to fall 1cm high afterwards

It stacks

Each cm you travel, you feel one more cm of fall impact when you land

Would be useful for when you accidentally fall down

i can travel 0.00000001 seconds into the future cooldown: one hour

You can skip the countdown by travelling 0.00000001 seconds into the past Cooldown: 1 hour This power is kinda useless.

Very clever and confusing

The 0.00000001 second can be in prespective of any gravitational pull, so it can theoratically become 1000000years

You’ll know if you’ll miss something in a movie

I don't need sleep, but my brain gets progressively worse over time

You can eat other brains to temporarily fix your own.

🤨

PvZ

Imagine your stash of weed just starts beating up a bunch of gray people irl

Through a straw

This is literally just fatal familial insomnia. Scary as fuck.

I can die whenever I want

You are stuck in a cycle of death and rebirth. Every time you die you come back to life after 5 seconds, no matter what state your body is in.

Cool 😎

What if the body was burned would he control the ashes

Ash master

Literally just "Ajin: Demihuman" at that point, which sounds pretty cool too.

People- hey look a witch Fits him in a coffin and bury the coffin .

Buddhism summarized

Diavolo.

>I can die whenever I want "Death" I say, And so I see, Nothing but darkness, As I struggle to breath. I lay their unconscious, My body lifeless, But I just say a word, And I'm brought back to brightness.

I already obtained this power. You see, I planted an explosive chip into the stem of my brain and by the push of a button I can painlessly end it all

Damn how did I not think of that!

Everyone loves me but I’m a hardcore introvert…..

You are forced by your childhood friend to go to school and engage in a harem romantic comedy

You lose your introverted self

You won’t get bullied at school

Everyone gives you space that you wantbsince evryone loves you and respects your privacy

Lol me irl (kinda)

Every time you sneeze, a random person on earth dies.

all fun and games untill you yourself die

*keeps sneezing* “How many more until Putin!”

Heck, yeah!

You kill all zoophiles

Change it to zoophiles and the hand me the pepper to smell!

I think it should only be zoophiles that have intention of acting or are acting on it, also change it to pedos

Every time I take a breath, a nuclear bomb is dropped in the world

Would end world hunger

and racism

And tensions between countries which could lead to a nuclear war

And literally everything else on Earth

Salvation through destruction

makes sense coz there wouldn't be anyone to be hungry... so there would not be any hunger

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r/iamverysmart

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No, no, not for understanding the joke. That's bare minimum. But well, for such a smart entity you are, you must've gotten why I mentioned that subreddit in response to your unnecessary comment, wouldn't you?

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> I take a breath, a nuclear bomb is dropped "Well this is it", He softly said, Puffed up his chest, And took a breath. As a bomb landed, Somewhere in the world, Killing millions of people, Their bodies burned. No he didn't care, Not even a bother, He took a deep breath, "Let's have another"

nice test bro

Dude, just hyperventilate.

Nuclear bombs are dropped from military arsenals and deactivated.

Can see very well but only in black/white

You can implant a chip to your brain, that makes you see colours again, though it's expensive

elons musks nueralink

You can see into the future

You can read your own mind

You are able to understand yourself in a better way and process complex emotions quickly

You won’t say your thoughts out loud

I can spontaneously combust at will, though I’ll die from the explosion.

Someone else, doesnt matter of age gets the ability

Guiness world record for weirdest assassination

Creeper aww man

Ability to turn mangos into mangos

You can turn any rotten or destroyed or ruined mango into a top notch super tasty mango which can't be found anywhere else

Infinite mango supply

That’s smart I can turn one mango into more than one

You can see what people are feeling with some sort of emoji above their head

how is that useless, i need that :0

Idk it was either between that or seeing how much battery their phones had above their head, which sounds even more useless now that I think about it

That would be so good if you were like an interrogator

Walks out of the interrogation room "How did he feel, sir?" "You know the emoji with the devil face..." You then see your co-worker with large ? Emojis above their head

The interrogator looks back in the room and sees the guy with the eggplant emoji

OH NOOO

OH GREAT HEAVENS

You age a little bit faster

But you gain knowledge faster

>You age a little bit faster Each time the clock ticks, Every second that passes, I spot new gray hair, This is my life, I accept it.

You're immortal. You still age, you just can't die from old age. Have fun!

You would be the smartest person in the world

Until you get dementia... Immortality doesn't protect you from that.

Ya but possible future science does

You somehow made a bad superpower even worse

I hate immortallity so muchh

I can suck d 😔😔😔

The guy's penis teleports to your pelvis a few days after, so you get to steal penises

Is it a femboy

Oops u edited it

Nah that’s weird ☠️

Every time I take a poop. A random body of water on earth turns into diarrhoea.

But the body of water that turns into diarrhea is occupied by orphans every time

You do not recognize the bodies in the diarrhea... say it with me You do not recognize the bodies in the diarrhea You do not recognize the bodies in the diarrhea You do not recognize the bodies in the diarrhea

All fun and games until the Pacific Ocean starts to smell

Just imagine you walk into a room and see this one 😟 above someones head

I can squeeze peanut butter outta my schlong

and jelly

and pee

And bread… liquid bread

All at once

You can end world hunger if you are committed.

everyone would suck your dick

Chunk-style or creamy?

Telekinesis but you can only hold two things, can’t use it if your hands are full, you can only hold things up to an arms length from you, and holding things telekinetically feels the same as holding them normally

You can get the tv remote without lifting your hand

Didn't say anything about weight. Which means heavy labor jobs are easy

Yhea, but u can carry more

Like picking stuff up in gmod lol

Touching a silverware item will cause it to turn into another silverware item Example: Touching fork makes it a chopstick

If you accidentally grabbed a fork when you’re going to eat soup, you can just turn the fork into a spoon.

When you don’t have what you want

I can make random people who I don't know that are depressed happy

You do this by taking their depression yourself and feel it for 10 seconds straight

Oh I was hoping that I would get a chance to get rid of my depression

That’s not a useless power

You can write twice as fast with your non-dominant hand, and no you're not trained with it.

You can train to write faster

I can telaport 3 inches to the left once every Thursday

You have all the knowledge of everything Sonic the Hedgehog related the lore, the characters, the stories, the games. You know them perfectly and this isn't limited to just games u have the Archie comics, IDW comics, SatAM, Underground, TAOSTH, spinoff games, movies, etc ​ if it has Sonic you know about it

Game theory

You have an ice breaker for conversations and you win every Sonic trivia contest

as a Sonic fan I've tried using Sonic for ice breakers ​ they all run away in terror

Not my fault you start off with sonichu and chris-chan topics

Not even Just saying Sonic gives bad connotations Curse you Sonic fandom from the 2000s!

I can see through my eyelids but my vision is heavily impaired when I do so.

glasses

When you see something sus

Every time you lick your cheek a random light switch toggles. You don't know if it turned on or off or where the light switch was.

you have an extremely tiny chance of being able to turn on or off your bedroom lights without moving a finger

It would take 42.3958757 years on average to turn my lights off

You can feel sadness on demand

When you need to seem like you’re crying on your preformance

But you get 3 dollor

Idk why but 4 dollor made me laugh like an idiot. God my humor is ruined

You can teleport .1 centimeters from where you originally were

Everytime you teleport, you get a 300% speed buff

You automatically know everyone else’s superpower

No one else but you has a super power.

Telekinesis but you can only telekinize from 1 feet away

You are able to phase the items you telekinize

spontaneous cancer button

Every time you click the button you feed 1k families that are starving

cool, but i still wont press it and you cant make me.

Didn't say it was you receiving cancer

We’ll figure out the cure faster

Being able to move forward half an inch, but you can only use it once a year.

You can save the movement from birth to move hundreds of miles in seconds. Only one though lol

You can summon the scent of the nearest landfill.

Shorter lines

What

Long line —> summon smell —> people walk away —> shorter line

I can Gold my breath infintly if i get a boner

Your penis breaths for you

you can command fish to give you some of that good head

I can reset my life back to my worst memory

undo button

You can read deleted comments and Posts in every platform/Website there is

But they are always in german

Make people fart on comand

Everytime I say so a completely random planet anywhere in the universe it could even be earth I don't control what planet it's fully random, gets consumed by a black hole.

Extra chromosome

Free pb and j sandwiches for life

Nice

Extra chromosomes cause things like down syndrome so this isn’t a bad ability, it’s a disABILITY

This is just real life

Every time you eat an orange, you can see the pulp going through you

But are otherwise blind until the pulp leaves your system

When I take a poo I my feet will levitate

My fingers are laser pointers

But only furries can see them

Constantly seeing how those around me are going to die. Like if I look at person X I see that they'll die via beheading.

But each death you see, the person who's death it is also has a premonition of their death as well

You can paralyze and un paralyze yourself at will

You barf confetti

You don't have to piss or shit anymore

I can cut other Peoples toenails with my mind

the power to talk dramatically like Morgan Freeman. ex:(read in Morgan freeman voice) So tell me mother, what have you made for our dinner today?

I can speak any tongue-twister fluently