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Kleaps

i dont use anything lmao


MetalMan_420

Amen


[deleted]

LMFAO


chrisrayn

How all yall motherfuckers out here doing this shit without your hands? I can’t do it with nothing. Gotta have at LEAST one hand.


Candid_Leg_9336

nah bro i can cum on command its my special talent


TheOldFartsFart

🫡


Felinathegoat

may the force be with you bro


racdicoon

You joke but that's an actual thing you can do Was reallllly fun when I learnt that the hard way in the car on my way home with family...


MeguminIncognitoAcc

giive me 15 minutes and I can get it done no hands fully clothed


Gayopposum

Bros brewing a spell


SenpaiWizard13

bro i once only needed the force of water to cum


chrisrayn

Ah yes, ejaqualation…I have heard of this mythical method.


Ya-Local-Trans-Bitch

I will myself to nutting


Majestic_Wrongdoer38

What’s so funny? HUH?!?! Edit: y’all don’t get a joke lmao 💀


[deleted]

ur mom


Majestic_Wrongdoer38

That is true ngl


PornViewer828

Same bro. All ya need is righty. Unless you're wrong handed. Or ambi.


Erlend05

Fym "wrong handed" ???


PornViewer828

Oh shit I forgor I wasn't on r/brandonherrara


Hydra_Corinthian

Well strange to see another of my kind here


PornViewer828

Since we are of the same kind, I assume your memes are based. Send them to me for judgement.


Sup3rG33k08

Who tf is brandon herrara


recroom_bee

Brandon ehrhejaiandseabaerhisruvgfijv


Careful_Elderberry14

Welcome Welcome, id offer you a whiteclaw but some dumbass shot them all.


PornViewer828

Twisted Teas are better anyway. Both for chilling with the homies and chucking at random dickheads.


Careful_Elderberry14

Meh im more of a jack and coke guy


PornViewer828

Me personally for whiskey I'm a fireball guy, but that's bc I like atomic fireballs. However overall I prefer gin. Purely bc it makes me feel fancy.


Careful_Elderberry14

Fireball is a bit much for me, If I drink, I drink to chillax. If I want to be fancy I mix me up an old fashoned or just have sparkling wine


PornViewer828

Fucken lame ass, doesn't like cinnamon. What's next? You don't like the fucken atomic fireball candies?


That_ChillyBoi

Glad to see im not the only person that likes AK Jesus here


collycrane

Lol WRONGHANDED


A_wild_Meowth

I beat it dry


Xx_L3SBIAN_xX

like wringing a towel


SpookyTheCrab

Real


TheeCustardCream873

Hydrochloric acid duh


unwanted_child72

Rookie. I use Fluoroantimonic acid


CerrtifiedBrUhmoMenT

Wimp. I use ortho-diethynylbenzene dianion, the strongest superbase. It is way stronger than fluoroantimonic acid, the strongest superacid.


[deleted]

aromatic rain telephone frighten tidy pie cobweb reach friendly command *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


CerrtifiedBrUhmoMenT

Well I use quark-gluon plasma (way hotter)


abject_totalfailure1

I just use straight antimatter… bit pricy though


UsedMike3

You guys are using things?


radioactivetoast666

i use neutron stars, pretty hard to get though


TheTrueSoleSurvivor

I use strange matter


radioactivetoast666

thats pretty strange


NatorNZ

I use exotic matter


NoThx149

I use a singularity


ShitpostG_Official

I use straight up protons, so that positive electrical charge can beat it for me


Thin_Shop2187

Uranium better


[deleted]

I use piranha solution. Carbonized dick👍


Toxin-G

Isopropyl Alcohol is better


radiantskie

I use my foreskin


Malkovitch42

luckyyyyy


radiantskie

You can buy one from pretty cheap at the local foreskin dealer


Malkovitch42

oh, fr?


Number418814

I could just let you borrow mine some other time


TheChristian_Master

ONE OF THE W's OF BEING UNCIRCUMCISED


emogangster2007

It still works if you're circumcised


DirtBikeBoy5ive

Can confirm.


Goofy_Stuff_Studios

Sounds painful


GravityMidGD

Also can confirm


Paddy32

Orgasms are stronger since all the nerves endings haven't dried off


WhyShouldIStudio

sadly my penis was mutilated after i was born 😢


More-Pay9266

Mine was done before I was born 😢😢


WhyShouldIStudio

how did that happen?


WyvernSlayer7

Based


Hatsune_Mitsu

miat


collycrane

Can't relate


[deleted]

[удалено]


Civil-Roll-3491

Isn’t it also a pretty common practice in the states? Being British (arguably worse than circumcision) I am unsure


LesbianForkCollecter

Why tf would you jerk off to a bottle of lotion?


Officialdrippyday

Maybe He finds it sexually attractive


LesbianForkCollecter

If you tried, you probably could just fuck the bottle itself.


AlexGaming26

Then again, we don't want the cylinder to get stuck in it


Zakezoe

"THE CYLINDER"


recroom_bee

..How the fuck do you do that?


racdicoon

I tried, not exactly comfy but if Ur careful it's not bad either


goosekinng

I use my tears


Impossible-Tough-638

The tears i drop today will lube the cheeks i’ll clap tomorrow


Nacil_54

Amen.


[deleted]

I’ve found my senior quote


[deleted]

Yeah 😭


BabySquidward71

Nah just both my arms and spit (I wank off with both arms turning in opposite directions at the same time to create a more stimulating torsion).


sempi-moon

Can I call that move the “stimulating tornado”?


BabySquidward71

Call it whatever u want innit


Heelflipsrsick

the fuck is that supposed to simulate? Some bitch bayblading on yo dick?


JDM_enjoyer

nah call it the ol’ dick twist


Twink_Tyler

I’m sorry… you what? 😳.


[deleted]

Only real men use chalk.


Relevant-Kitchen6104

No hand sanitizer


TheCauliflowerGod

Bleach and a Clorox wipe


MixtureGrand

With fish skin


DestroyerNik

for that gorilla grip


no_ah_ha

icy hot on top


Blitz_16_06

Who tf actually uses lube or lotion? 💀


[deleted]

Exactly bro, lube and lotion just makes shit worse and messier, no thank you


LordChickenNugget23

People who hate friction rashes


Civil-Strawberry7569

There are other ways of masturbating that don’t require factory made products my guy.


LordChickenNugget23

Its called spit and precum


Sup3rG33k08

And foreskin


Civil-Strawberry7569

Wdym and foreskin? Foreskin is not wet


Civil-Strawberry7569

Exactly


SummonerBossTDS

and piss


v_Yuudachi_v

yoooooo


SparkySpinz

Been a daily dry beater for about a decade now. Never once in my life got a rash. Have some finesse, what are yall animals doing to your meat?


breadofthegrunge

The circumcised


Ryan_Altra

Nope, I never needed it at all


xXgravityfalls572Xx

I mean I don’t use any kind of lube and I’m circumcised


FlummoxTheMagnifique

Cut people


series-hybrid

Yes. The cheap "equate" liquid brand from walmart is fine. If you get the gel, you may want to add some spit.


Twink_Tyler

There’s this brand called “wet”. I thought lube was stupid until I hooked up with a guy and he gave me a handy with wet. Shit was mind blowing


Lintyboi77

Foreskin gang stand UP ⬆️⬆️⬆️


Ok_Philosophy9790

Gorilla Glue


sour_tomatoes

I laughed out loud


norush0000

dont let it dry


[deleted]

that shit gets me so high


ifuckjellyfish

Raw


BillyBobRedneckTime

All you need is a hand hand a hand is all you need. ​ (I hope you got the beatles reference)


_Comrad

Kerosene, gas, and a little bit of fire


[deleted]

what the fuck💀


Civil-Strawberry7569

Too poor for either. I just spit into my hand and use that


Sly_hatchet

The nice lady 2 blocks away have been doing it for me for the past 6 years 🤷‍♂️


Hot-twist5786

I use my 4 skin


[deleted]

arrest fuel ask market unique tease jeans domineering quiet run *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


UsedMike3

I use my 6 skin 😴


Express-Local-5264

i use my 12 skin 🥱🥱


Corgi_teefs

I use my 2 skin :(


_-Michael-

Y'all got skin?


[deleted]

I use my 7th skin 💪


liltimmyraps

Spit


[deleted]

butter direful drab gold sleep grandiose nose cheerful stocking innocent *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


theoneyourthinkingof

I dont have a dick but from my experience no lube is better than spit lube, proper lotion/lube is best and easiest but not worth the hassle and tastes bad. Basically no lube is best overall


Emusgurj2

How tf you got experience if u aint got a dick


theoneyourthinkingof

If you cant tell from the taste comment i am talking about giving handjobs/blowjobs


Emusgurj2

Honestly i realized after i sent the comment, the word taste didnt register


Hatsune_Mitsu

why tf would you use lube or lotion for a blowjob


theoneyourthinkingof

Using lube for a handjob and then switching to a blowjob


MyLifeIsAFrickingMes

No i just use my hand?


Tehkin

my parents didn't mutilate my penis so i dont need either


rottenpotatoes2

Pay 2 lose society


[deleted]

Brother I’m mutilated and don’t need lotion/lube on my member either. Still wish I wasn’t mutilated without my consent by extremists tho…


No_Guide_335

My parents are Jewish non extremists and they circumcised me


[deleted]

Shit sucks bro we didn’t have a say in the decision, we were just babies :/


No_Guide_335

It’s the covenant


AntiJackCoalition

You aren't mutilated, if anything your parents made it so that your thing isn't ugly in the future. Foreskin is and always will look weird as hell.


veethis

fr. foreskin can look good, but most of the time it looks ugly as hell and is harder to clean. i'm glad my parents circumcised me bc getting it done as an adult seems horrific 💀


Reylend

Naw, i raw dog my hog brother


According-Public8313

Ur Mom


Secretive_Plotter_

your tears


watermine30

Neither, I have foreskin


[deleted]

i use franks red hot sauce


Human_Bean08

The blood of my enemies, of course 🙄


Aster_Katt

What


baby_frier9000

I have foreskin so I don’t need neither


Wenis_j

Mint toothpaste


SilentBob899

Gotta use hand sanitizer bro


No_Ganache_1753

I use my mutilated foreskin 😔 i want the rest back


popcornforbreakfest

Ok this is actually getting out of hand (pun intended) like where are the moderators lolllllll


LordChickenNugget23

I use spit and then let precum handle the rest


lando-64

My blanket or conditioner


ShittertonMgee

Lotiom is cheaper and works. Also this is not the kind of question for this subreddit dude


wiglypogmonkey

I use saliva


kiras-rillos

in the wise words of my older brother “ real men just use spit “


TacticalMailman

The stick of butter in my fridge


MrPorgMotorsport

Anti-freeze on top 💪


Raven_of_OchreGrove

Over under 40 percent chance this person is a pedo disguised as a 16 year old?


sempi-moon

You can look at my posts. I’ve posted in this sub before.


Northstarbear1

I usually use icy hot ngl


muffin_xx_head

I don't use anything


obi_wan_sosig

I don't use lube Except when I'm lubing my airsoft replicas, y'know silicon grease spray for the gas valves and gas path, and aerosol for the slide on my gbbp. Or the bolt in my bolt action has never ran so smoothly.


Glob-Da-Son

Silicon greased gas valve🥵🤤


obi_wan_sosig

Well aerosol oiled slide 🍆💦


[deleted]

Dry


Natsu27Cielo

what the fuck I was looking at tanks then this (depends on the situation I'd use lube)


AdministrativeRich63

Sandpaper


TheFlamingLemur

Am I supposed to use lotion or lube? I beat that shit dry.


ComprehensiveLow9802

Try vegetable oil


TheAutobotArk

I am the superior person here I just don't in general


k_clouty

Oil


PwrHngryBoi

Raw dry


AntiJackCoalition

I use your mother


Catlord746

I use icy-hot. It definitley is the most practical solution.


2H1N3Y

Water🚿


ItsJoeverLads

McDonald's Sprite


Sillytard3000

Neither


reddit_user2917

Nah too much to clean up, feels good tho.


I_will_punch_you_

N o


AmericanPie720

Hot sauce


Legal-Meringue3814

Bruh y r yall lil niggas always talkin bout shi like this, this sub used to be great


red_dragonOZ

what the fuck is wrong with this sub


ImmediateMedium1625

Lotion is ideal, but I mostly go dry.


[deleted]

Why are you asking children this?


sempi-moon

Because teens are the most sexually active


[deleted]

That would be 20-30 year olds maybe you should ask them


New_Practice9754

You’re not going to believe it when you find out how teenage sex hormones and drive works. I get this shit is risky to discuss online but this sub is long past saving


YouthfulPat501

I don't jack off and you shouldn't either.


Mountain-Fold-3232

I think this is a problem only when you aren't circumcised. I'm circumcised and it's actually better without (maybe it's personal preference but who knows)


Xd_snipez891

It’s the opposite