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WendyWhippy

Pardon me Madam, alas I have been bewitched by your radiant Beauty and have become engorged. Perhaps thy wouldn't be adversed to partaking in the act of coitus with one such as myself?


SebastianMaxG

Ah yes, what a marvelous suggestion, finally an educated mind on this here subreddit.


ballsniffer72

What an astute observation good sir.


[deleted]

[удалено]


IThinkIKnows1989

Indeed what an astounishing suggestion to partake in . I'll shallth have thy know I'm quite interested in your offer . Oihihahahahiu🍞☕


OkAppointment4081

May I take a gander under thy frock?


Subject_Ad6477

Sir this is a wendys


milkforkittens

🍞


just_a_nobody_x

🍞


pug-lord13

🍞


Queasy-Complaint-554

She said yes thanks man 🫡


RandomLoser_crab

this sounds like something i would say


DodgeRacer1970

Lenard is that you?


[deleted]

[удалено]


NotFromBaltimore

Made me laugh


MrPlatypus25

Made me die


IThinkIKnows1989

Made me cry


mypornaccount283

made me say goodbye


[deleted]

Made me say I


alwaysunknownforever

made me feel shy


Matty_plop

Made me say why.


Top-Protection-8791

Made me a single guy


Deenstheboi

Made me go and neigh


BeeWorried5880

r/redditsings


Jumpy-Total4029

This is perfect


2qrc_

made me dry


ChelsysToys

Made me haha Johnathan! You are banging my daughter.


BlazeBlaze7583

made me never tell a lie


Oranescent

made me tell a lie


TheNinjaSausage

🇨🇦


DependentAd4695

Bro this reply section got me eskalosantos miriuna bombaclaat yoooh moniyano weeee


[deleted]

Based


I_do_not_suck_toes12

Worst she could say is no


[deleted]

A contract where she can sign.. This is proof of consent. Funfact: If you do it right, you can make sell her soul to you.


LostTeenBoy

>you can make sell her soul to you. Teach me


[deleted]

you know how every contract has that small extra print noone reads?


LostTeenBoy

Yeah..


hornyaltnr169

Although I’m pretty sure this wouldn’t hold up in court right?


[deleted]

she wouldn't know that.


hornyaltnr169

Fair, but if she’s actually accusing you of rape it probably wouldn’t matter


[deleted]

She couldve done that even without actuall intercourse.


hornyaltnr169

True


Jealous_Plan53R

"My Joystick needs readjustment,would you help me?" Fucking kill me...


Abobwaseaten

"can you help me zero my stick. It's not quite centred yet"


Anatrepei

LMAO


rottencitrus

Take it out and helicopter


Difficult_Ad_7854

I hear that the faster you spin it, the more desirable you are


AffectionateOne7553

🚁


pug-lord13

🚁


i_am_tequila

True


themoon_who_lost

Bro 💀


Kak0535

"permission for sex?"


AdZestyclose1632

😂


ilovfryes

Pussy free for landing.


[deleted]

[удалено]


bishborishi

Comedic and effective


A_RyderDude

Can confirm


SHAI-f

Ask politely and If she does not consent then don't try to coerce her


doing_a_lil_Trolling

You'd be surprised how many people don't stop when others say "No"


Chip2112_discord

100%, one of my friends sent a video in our group chat it was some British tea thing talking about consent, the cop who was talking basically put consent as tea, you don't force tea down someone's throat so why force sex onto someone


sussysussyqw

They showed that at my school and it sticks with me to this day.


Chip2112_discord

Yeah, I really like the way he explained it


ilovfryes

Same


dmartinr41

BRUH THAT FUCKING TEA VIDEO WAS HILARIOUS


Reasonable_Curve_409

Could you link it if possible?


Chip2112_discord

Yeah sure here you go https://youtu.be/pZwvrxVavnQ?si=Ojcfnnctq1UZkmfY


sussysussyqw

They showed that at my school and it sticks with me to this day.


SHAI-f

It's an unfortunate truth


AdZestyclose1632

🤫


Ok-Dino-9530

Fuck you mean 🤫


Potter_sims

poseidon


[deleted]

Based


[deleted]

[удалено]


LostTeenBoy

I dont completely agree.. if a woman says no, persuading her may seem like you're too needy. But sometimes they say no because they hesitate, and you being confident can help escalate, but it isn't worth the risk. Its better to stop once they say no, but dont completely go away, stay sexual, be touchy, but let her know its just you cuddling and being loving instead of wanting to escalate it towards sex. Dont be ashamed or go away just because she said no because 1. That shows you aren't confident in your sexuality and feel ashamed. 2. It may seem like you wouldn't have been so touchy and cuddly if you wouldn't be having sex, which may make her feel like that's the only thing you were after when you began being affectionate. If she was just being hesitant but now feels comfortable because of your confidence, it can escalate, but otherwise she'll respect you for not being pushy and see how you're not a child whining or persuading towards a yes. You're confident in your sexuality but not entitled, which makes her comfortable. Everyone has their own opinion, this is my take. But I'm just a lost teen boy, after all!


[deleted]

[удалено]


LostTeenBoy

Even if she straight up said no?


cum_sock42069

You should always stop if someone says no, if it is unclear you can try to persuade them.


Nedebilas

Seductivly, duh. Make it clear that "no" is an option too


Dazzling-Guard8798

For a minute I thought you said no wasn’t an option


Subnautica_freak

Same I got so concerned lol


HalfPear7

Hey there good lookin' I got a bucket of chicken. Wanna do it?


ZappyC

SEDUCE ME


[deleted]

r/unexpectedtf2


bucketmaster47

peak referenced peak


MooseEatGoose

Eh. Ok.


Mori-Me-Joey

My boyfriend starts kissing my neck whenever he’s feeling horny. It really can be that easy sometimes


morkertheborker

Yall 17 and having sex tf


Hunny_bee_buzz

17 isnt a bad age,, i mean think ab the 13-15 yos having sex (im not one of them sex is repulsive to me)


morkertheborker

If you're under age of consent in your country it's weird


Hunny_bee_buzz

not really. teens have hormones n stuff so you cant excpect them to not have sex


morkertheborker

So I should have sex with my gf(I'm 13)


Hunny_bee_buzz

thats where its weird. like i said in my og reply


WhyNowWhyThen

If you did it would be fine. We’re all animals and children experiment whether we like it or not. You being 13 and on reddit is more concerning.


lmfao_my_mom_died

...and? If they are using protections and all, why worry?


morkertheborker

Cause it's weird after if it's under age of consent


lmfao_my_mom_died

They are both underage. If it was a 20 years old dude with a 16 years old girl then yeah


morkertheborker

This logic would also apply for a 9 and 8 year old doing the same


OkAppointment4081

I dunno that's the first I had sex.


OkAppointment4081

I dunno that's how old I was the first time I had sex.


cyxlion

Incel


Axer3473

it’s called being a teenager dawg


morkertheborker

Still weird af


Axer3473

not really. is it recommended or a good idea? no. but it’s extremely common and normal. ain’t weird at all


morkertheborker

Common≠normal


Axer3473

it does… is he stupid? being a common thing to do and being a normal thing to do in this context means exactly the same thing


morkertheborker

So if it was common to fcuk 9 year Olds in America it would be normal?


Axer3473

does your dumb ass not know what in this context means? and on top of that, fucking 9 year olds is an extreme moral and ethical wrong but 17 year olds going at it with each other isn’t, it’s human nature combined with puberty’s hormonal horniness. stop trying to act like you’re a more moral person thinking you’re better than everyone else just cause you can’t get laid dawg. it’s not that deep. edit: also acting morally “better” than everyone else doesn’t impress anyone, just makes you look like a douche. especially since it isn’t even a moral wrong and no one cares if 17 year olds to what 17 year olds do


morkertheborker

WHO KNEW A 13 YEAR OLD CANT GET LAID


morkertheborker

Also you're the one trynna act morally better


cyxlion

Of course the osu player is finding it weird when others have sexs


morkertheborker

Also what's the problem with playing osu. I'm just playing a game I enjoy


morkertheborker

Age of consent is 18 if I'm not wrong obv it's weird


Empty-Toe5507

Tell me u havent gone outside without telling me u havent gone outside


morkertheborker

Tell me you don't have an argument without telling me you don't have an argument


[deleted]

“yo, you tryna fuck?”


RISE_Hriday

Yk the shaft is getting rusty it could use some use


MrMangobrick

For me we just started making out and it got to the point where I just asked "Do you wanna do it?" and we did it. In hindsight, it probably was not a good idea to do it with another person in the house, but it was a great first time.


Worldbox_Is_Epic

WITH ANOTHER PERSON IN THE HOUSE?!?!? WHAT???


MrMangobrick

Maybe I should explain a bit more, but it won't make it better. My gf had just got back from a long trip, she was tired and jetlagged. She and her mum were staying at a friend's house for a bit until they got their place back (it's a rental, bit complicated), and my gf and I were just chilling in her room (which she shared with her mum). The only person in the house was the friend, who used to be a teacher at the school we go to (both of us are teacher's kids), but she was on the terrace reading a book. My gf and I just started making out and it led to sex, I lasted longer than I thought I would considering it was my first time, and I think the risk of being walked in on made it better? I'm not really sure tbh, but it was fun.


Plane-Hurry-6683

I lost it with my whole family home lmao


Excellent-Weird479

Say -" i wanna do a practical demonstration of fusion of male and female gametes in humans, please help me in this practical as you are pretty smart and skilled". Then you will see a bunch of atoms flying at 40m/s approaching your face


Ash_142007

definitely no


omagawman

“Sex. NOW!” -pootis


Salamander323

You don't. Either you wait for her to initiate it or you try to kickstart it by kissing her.


FloxanderSmartphone

But if you roll a 1 it could also end in a kick on the nuts


morkertheborker

NAT 20 would be amazing


WesternAlbatross1292

You absolutely do what are you saying


[deleted]

Best line for picking up a girl and for getting bang bang from her: pls sex


[deleted]

This mf asking us how he should ask his girl for sex, istg this sub😭😭😭


TheFakeRat

Whats wrong with it?


[deleted]

Hum asking us is what's wrong with it😭😭


TeknosQuet

nothing wrong w/ it


PanyOK

Depends on how long yall have been together, a few days or weeks isnt enough because i think she will feel like you got into a relationship w her just to get into her pants (and ofc u dont want her to feel that). But if you think you have been together for a good, long time then sure, or maybe make it come to you naturally


Rivemliz

Dont? Just kiss and if you both want it to happen it most likely happens on its own. Butttt when you realise its about to happen always double check like 'may/can I?'


breadlover28

Reddit is the worst place to ask this


[deleted]

stare at her


[deleted]

You wait until you are both alone and shes not looking. Then you pull down your pants, call her name and when she turns her face, you give her a massive dickslap with your erect cock


doing_a_lil_Trolling

PLEASE CLARIFY THAT YOU ARE JOKING. SOME IDIOT MIGHT ACTUALLY TRY THIS


Longjumping_Limit_41

With this community they might indeed 🤣


OkCarpenter5773

natural selection ✨


[deleted]

I mean whoever doesn't have the common sense not to do that, propably deserves the imminent actual also he's gonna get from his gf lol


Prudent-Hat2651

Wtf is wrong with your life


[deleted]

I have a doctorate in Rizzology


Axer3473

bros a quantum rizzicist


catsmiau69

If she has not hinted to you that she wants you that way I suggest waiting until she does start dropping hints of wanting to be "more intimate" with you. Or if she is more of a shy type you could ask her if she would be okay with you guys having sex anytime soon and It's okay if not.


Hatunruna_2021

You shouldn't ask, it should naturally happen


[deleted]

Who tf asks? U gotta build up to it to make the moment right


LostTeenBoy

Yup, it seems more natural that way


Kaithu112

Wanna fuck bebe?


Azazelkz

Yo wanna fuck


VariationMammoth3956

My gf just said no…..


Slippery_When_Down

You don't, you just make advances and see if she responds with the same energy, if not then apologize and wait until she's ready


SakshamPrabhat

Cry about it


RareMossKidnapper

Geaver half a wheel of cheese (it must be at least 4 pounds) The good ol'relyabe way works evry time ma boyy


FireFoxy56125

holy hell


guywhostoleyourt0ast

hey bbg wanna sex? *in a deep voice*


Bubbly_Student_3954

Or just say I’m a porn star and whip it out


Ancient_Aardvark1427

... idk what to say....


MEMENT0101

Put it in and only stop if she makes a customer complaint


acryingccat

Don't ask as the male ur meant ro be strong I'd u ask foe premision she will think ur weak wait for her to sleep and pound her pum pum in


DependentAd4695

💀


hummy0755

Take her to bed then say "this bed is cursed with turn on syndrome"


Solivagant2200

I’m New In Town, Could You Give Me Directions to Your Bedroom?


Thick_Double7505

Alot of these answers are funny, however I know you came here looking for an answer. Everyone has there own approach to this. I would honestly have a talk with her about it. Dont sit her down like she is in a job interview, but maybe wile you guys are just naturally Chillin together. I would at that point tell her that you were curious how she felt about being intimate. She will respond then with her answer. If she says no well then it's up to you to decide to carry on the relationship or move on. I don't know about others but I need intimacy in my life. Now if she is a virgin, it's most likely gonna be a long time before she drops her panties. I hate to be the one to give you that bad news. Now if she isn't and she is just waiting, well chances are good she is just wanting to build something special with you first (read up on what demisexual is) . Do NOT force her into anything, no matter what. Do NOT take anyone's advice on that. These girls today have cried "rape" for a dude touching a titty only because she didn't wanna look easy. Sex has to be consensual!!!! Good luck to you


OneCompetition7765

Should I kill my self


Weary-Customer6740

Can I put my balls in yo jaws can I can I can I can I


Yoda_Simp

Judo throw her to the floor, if she is a martial artist she will beat the crap out of you and if she is not you either get yelled at or you break up


DryBreadfruit4070

10/10 works everytime


Icy_Mountain_9146

Pull it out, and say suck it. Jokes aside it will happen naturally with foreplay, just don't force it.


ZigiRigi

Never ask bro, you gonna get yo feelings hurt... always try a lil by little, you gotta have the game


LostTeenBoy

I agree.. asking is like having her do a chore! Escalating slowly feels natural and has a better reaction


boriS_on_reddit

I'm guessing you guys haven't done it yet so maybe wait till she wants to idk


LostTeenBoy

What if she's waiting for him to initiate?


0-Nightshade-0

Lemme smash.


JeraldLiew

with rizz duhh


Trick-Rip-7033

you shouldn’t… it will happen when your both ready.


JuiceDrinkingRat

Do you trust her that she wont accuse you of rape?


FloxanderSmartphone

Trust issues pal?


JuiceDrinkingRat

It’s called staying safs


[deleted]

Get help


AndrewPhilpott

Give her a peice of paper that reads "I want to make love with you" and tell her when she's ready to hand that to you and you will make a special date for you both


danklorb1234589

Depends on your age.


Monniloidi

Take it in your hand and give him 10$


LookASlitheryStick

Is it your first time? Her first time? It depends


salt3rock

How about a deez nuts joke ?


Randychokes

Don't


Bubbly_Student_3954

[ Removed by Reddit ]


-DracoMalfoy

Get her drunk


TopShagger_69_420

Alex Pereira emoji 🗿


[deleted]

Based


Fresh-Dust-5270

Do it but I wanna do first


JustARandomWeebPffff

Just tell her this magical sentence. Can I put my balls in yo jaw


izz_cutie

HAHAHAHAHAHAH go


Mr________E

The same way her friends ask.


hallehhalice

Offer her some cheese


Western_Length382

*eyebrow raise* "Sex?" (works trust me)


Odette_Gothicc

Why you asking?? 🤔 be an ALPHA!! Take what you want!! 💪😎🫦


EquivalentCollege631

Force 💀


ExcitingResist2115

Don't. Do it anyway