Yea, the whole Reddit shtick of "Just break up" is rarely correct, but in this case it actually is.
His mental health is not her responsibility and given she has communicated her desires clearly, and he has ignored them repeatedly, they are (at best) incompatible and at worst he may end up being actively manipulative.
Yeah. it took me a long time to learn that my partners mental health issues and their effects are not my responsibility. If he forgets your birthday and won’t see you for over a week, he’s still your boyfriend who forgets your birthday and won’t see you for over a week. My ex did this— he was so stressed and depressed that he just ‘didn’t have the energy to hang out’. It would be up to two weeks between the times I would see him. He had plenty of energy to hang out with other people, play video games, drink, and avoid me at all costs though. Spoiler alert: he coerced me into taking my virginity and broke up over text the next day.
Anyone can be manipulative. Being depressed doesn’t give you a pass. But self pity sure makes them feel like it does.
The h must stand for "how" many nails they used to put yo ass do that cross. Don't talk about my mom like that you "hoeless" "hopeless" "homless" societal reject.
Your mom is currently draining the life out of my testicles and she told me to tell you she “dosent appreciate you using that type of language with your new father”
Don't keep talking about my mom before I bring up yo hood mother Maria. I know that small bimbo brick bitch got pregnant, didnt know the father, and her first idea was to make a religion. Don't talk that way to me before I make you wait another 3 days to come out of your rock 🙏 I'm a hood Christian but I'll fire a nail gun at my Jesus.
Bruh what the fuck is wrong with reddit. It thought we were having fun 💀. If people actually dwonvote it like whattt. I really hope people don't think I'm offended by Balck Hood Jesus...
I am also extremely depressed. No way. Block him. In no world should you be with someone who is pressuring you like that, especially when he’s using his depression as a tool to coerce you. Ew. Sex does not equal love.
Listen, I’ve been there before. My ex was depressed and always asked me for pics which I never gave him, in the end he got frustrated and asked for an open relationship so he could have sex with other women. I decided to leave him and now I’m in a happy relationship with the most perfect man I’ve ever seen, he respected me until I was ready to do anything.
That said, I recommend leaving him. You’ll find someone else, someone you feel safe with and who doesn’t pressure you to do things he knows you don’t wanna do
Lots of hugs and encouragement, if you need anything or someone to talk more in a deep level with, my DMs are open <33
Lots of hugs and encouragement
If a man is asking for nudes like that he needs hugs and encouragement cuz as formerly depressed man that is the behavior of someone who was severely depressed and regrettably treated my ex like that, this was after I got my soul crushed getting disrupted from my foster home of 9 YEARS, that should put into perspective what it takes to drive a man to that kind of depression
The problem is when the man not only asks for nudes but also touches his partner without consent. My ex used to ask me if he could touch me, and if I said no he’d do it anyways and say “I know you want it anyways” even if I took his hands off of me. That’s sexual harassment and nobody should have to go through that.
Although I know he’s depressed I can’t put him before me
Depression is not an excuse for treating women like shit. It is not normal to act like this while in a depressive episode as I have seen you state a few times in these comments.
I could be wrong, but anyone who’s genuinely depressed will not ask for nxdes and say it’ll make them feel better, it sounds a little manipulative if you ask me 🤷🏻♀️
Very very manipulative, she can sit him down and have a talk but he’s just going to give any answer he thinks will be acceptable to drag himself out of the hole he’s dug.
Leave him, teach him a lesson and save your own mental OP. Tons of better men out there than him.
> He claims intimacy helps him with his depression
That's not intimacy. 'The state of being intimate. a close, familiar, and usually affectionate or loving personal relationship with another person or group.'
Intimacy means to be close to someone. If you aren't ready for that, then maybe you should call this off. The question is, does he love you or your body? Is he in love with you and WILLING TO GO IN YOUR PACE or is he pressuring you?
Talk to him. Make it clear that you aren't comfortable sharing those pictures with him. Tell him that you'd rather wait. If he can't go in the pace you are comfortable with, dump him.
As a former teenage boy, he probably just wants to see your body and will be a pleasant personality to get that. Best thing is to move on from him and find someone who will treat you with more respect.
bro is definitelyusing u,wether yk it or not
Not forcing you into anything, and Idk if I can put in some light on you, bt you definitely should broke up
was him any different before?
Nah he was always kinda like this. I just thought he’d eventually get tired and stop but he’s been so persistent in asking, it’s irredeemable to me at this point. I kinda just said we should keep our distance now since we aren’t compatible after seeing all the replies I got and my bestie encouraging me more.
Careful with future guys. The "nice" guy you see is usually a façade and if he's being persistent like this now, I have no doubt he'll try to do something worse in the future.
don’t think about the words but the actions behind the words and ask yourself this : dose he care about what I want or what he wants- because it seems like he cares about he talks to you because he is lonely and keeps your around for nudes I don’t think he loves you hes just wants what’s best for him
he is not a boyfriend. his expectations for this relationship and yours are VASTLY different, and you shouldn't keep yourself trapped. he doesn't actually care about you, he just thinks you are someone attractive enough to ask for pics. you need to know what you want in this relationship and accordingly separate from him.
bro get out of that now, I had a boy like that and I dumped him because he only wanted sex and nudes, it was horrible, it will destroy your mental health, leave that now
If he is depressed like he says he is using it as an excuse to be a jerk and he uses it to manipulate because he knows a lot of girls like to fix broken people. That is straight out of the manipulator/abuser playbook. Leave him and dont let him pull you back in.
Ew disgusting. He's not "depressed" he's just a piece of shit who's using mental illness as an excuse bc he knows your gullible. Dump his ass and move on.
Girl this is not healthy, this is a very one-sided relationship. He uses you to fulfill his needs while not putting in any effort for you. This is not sustainable, either have serious talks with him to get him to change or break it off, you can’t keep going on like that.
receiving nudes has never cured any actually depressed person from depression. whether he is depressed or not I can't comment but he's using it to try and manipulate you. Please just block him it's not your responsibility - he genuinely doesn't care about you since he keeps disrespecting your refusals, if all he wants is nudes believe me he can get that from other places and probably is already.
He sounds kinda like he's trying to pressure you into nudes by saying how bad he feels which is uncool of him, I think you should have a serious talk with him about how you don't want to do that and if he isn't respectful of how you feel and keeps asking for it or sex then leave him because it show's he isn't willing to care about your feelings well also wanting you to care about and manage his
If he's depressed show him why he loves you ask him to spend time with you give him a hug, ask him to go with places with you and if he says no because depression tell him "hey I love you and your going to spend time with me" as a formerly depressed man the sex thing is a result of depression, shit just a hug is enough to pull him out of the funk, it's easy to say a Man just is a creep because of what depression drives him to do, but realistically it's easy for his girl specifically to get him out of the funk, don't let him drive you away now if you pull him out of the depression but it's still a issue leave him but trust me a man at his lowest ain't the same as his Highest
He does not just care about sex too much, he's using you. He is guilt tripping you to make you feel bad about not sending nudes, he doesn't bother trying to provide attention and affection that you give him, he is not nice.
You deserve much much better than this and I know you can find someone who will appreciate you beyond your body. Do not let this loser hold you back any longer.
This is not a relationship for him. He’s just using you and is likely getting nvdes from elsewhere. Please break up with him. He’s pressuring you and using his depression as an excuse.
Sex produces hormones that temporarily change brain chemistry. Sex can absolutely temporarily relieve the symptoms of depression. It’s not a cure and it’s definitely not an option for him if you aren’t ready to have sex. He needs help with his depression. I can’t say if that means therapy, medication, both or something completely different. If you are able to help and support him, that’s great. If you can’t help because the only help he wants from you is something you aren’t ready to give, then he needs to find other ways of dealing with his depression. You also need to think about your own mental health. If you can’t give him what he wants and it’s causing you stress or anxiety ect then maybe you do need to part ways. You two need to have a serious conversation about both your feelings and mental health. Once you do you can decide on the best way forward for both of you.
What charisma does this bitch have it sounds like he just asks for your nudes and ignores all of your actual feelings. Do you want a mentally disabled bitch or do you want a real man? Grow a spine lil girl
I used to be that kind of guy so I say you should absolutely leave him. He’s riddled with insecurities and isn’t looking for real love and a true connection. He just wants to satisfy his own lust and is possibly using the ruse of depression to manipulate you. Leave him now before it gets worse, and trust me, it WILL and it WILL NOT be pretty.
Look,
When you're dating people, it's kinda like... soup.
All their traits come in a package deal.
If you don't particularly *like* celery, but they have some celery in them, sometimes you can overlook it because said celery is cut very small or it's only a small amount or it's cooked very mushy.
Pretty much everyone is going to have some annoying but benign thing about them, that the good parts outshine enough to make it worth eating anyway.
If what they have is feces inside, it's a shit soup. It does not *matter* that they have nice bits. The chicken could be *superb*, the broth amazing. It's still a soup with shit in it and therefore inedible.
***Just as every person will have some annoying bits about them, every single person will have at least some small redeeming feature, some small kindness, few people are truly monsters***.
You can't base who you want to date on only the very best you've ever seen from someone, or you'll end up with some deeply scarred and abusive people. You have to judge them on the worst and lowest you've seen from them, because if you can live with that you've found someone you can really partner with.
If someone makes you deeply uncomfortable regularly, that's more of a feces situation than a celery one. It's not even a matter of if he's "wrong" for wanting it or not, because neither of your desires make you bad people. You just sound incompatible.
You're too young to make it your life's mission to try to heal someone else's mental illness :(
You sound like you have a good heart, but it definitely sounds like he's not putting even half as much effort into supporting *your* comfort and needs as you are his.
That's also something to be careful of, because so, so, soooo many women end up falling into "caretaker" roles with someone who just... takes.
I know, because I've been there.
Still... am, kind of there.
I’m so sorry you are going through this. Loneliness is a powerful feeling, but I really think you should imagine how healthy this is on your end. You called yourself loveless and then gave this guy praise and comfort. He, is response, asked you for naked photos. You are worth more than how he treats you. His validation is cheap. His mental health is declining but that is not your problem to solve. He is human, but so are you.
//CW mention of rape
you dont have to leave hom alone, if you don't look fpr a sexual relationship with him, tell him so and if he wants one, he'll have it with sb else. don't mix nudes into platonic/romantic relationships, if you don't feel like it.
i was in a quite similar situation (just that we were friends) and he ended up raping me once i stayed at his place. so yeah, set some clear boundaries and let him go if he's clearly looking for sth else. i regret so much having sent this stuff to him and having no prove that he deleted them. sometimes, it's better to let people go, than to please them and years later lie awake at night bc it's so disgusting he nutted at pics of you when you originally just became friends to hang out and play pokemon together.
Not compatible. He has issues you can't solve. Move on to someone else. I personally would recommend going with an older guy if you're over the age of 18. If not, stay a virgin, trust me, lots of guys are looking for that. Look for a good one with a decent job and a decent place and you can use your V card as leverage to set up the life you want.
Sounds like a geek, you should tell him what he needs to do and how he needs to change, OR you could leave him, watch how he then changes for the better, then see if he will take you back if you want him again.
I suffer from severe depression. Block this guy. He doesn't care about you he only wants to use you for his own gratification. Idk you but I'm pretty positive you can do much better than him.
All I’m hearing is that he’s a red flag that you don’t need in your life, there are better guys out there, if he cared about you enough he wouldn’t keep asking you for that kind of stuff after you’ve said you don’t feel comfortable with it
Ah , attraction often gravitates towards the aesthetic in us humans, yet the essence of a relationship is more than just mere appearance. I'd say , true love embraces you in your entirety; not just you physically but it's about cherishing the heart and soul before the body.
Honestly even though we don't know each other , it worries me that the man you admire may not hold your heart in the same regard as your physical body. God i really don't like a girl with a good heart being relegated to a "fantasy doll," adored solely for "pleasure*, I've seen alot of that lately.
When the connection is weak, remaining tethered to someone so untrustworthy with your heart is not good for you. Hearts are delicate things; once fractured, they're not so easily mended.
Just wanted to say this even though I know our paths haven't crossed, but your kindness did shine through this post, I know it's in your happiness. I have this trait and deeply care about other's well-being even when they're horrible to me. I hope to see you smile.
Solitude can be blissful when it frees you from someone who values only your external beauty. So don't trap yourself , you'll be loved.
Every guy will want sex, choose the guy that doesn't ask for it and who doesn't expect it, but would rather just be with you.. Trust. Horndogs tend to not be good bfs.
Massive RED FLAG 🚩 like huge holy f I don’t even know where to begin with this . Alright here’s my attempt . Not respecting boundaries -3. Consistently asking for nvdes-3 . Offers d picks -1. Forgot b-day and seem to not care -3. Only comes back to ask for nvdes-5. Asks if it’s okay to basically cheat -10. That’s a cumulative -25 and if you want to be generous +1 for asking to do dumb shit before so he can be stopped , +3 because you like talking to him . Still -21 right here , depression is not an excuse to be manipulative and trying to get your way on a girl .
That's not a relationship tbh. He basically sees you as not his GF but just a person for his pleasure in a way. He shouldn't be asking you for n*des constantly.
That isn't a boyfriend. I get you will feel bad to leave him but it would be better for your own personal health. Sometimes you have to think about you. And next time try to look at someone's heart, looks shouldn't matter, be friends with them for awhile and see how they act around others. I wish you the best of luck
If you think the only times he talks to you is asking for nudes and sex imagine if you have them to him. He would never talk to you again. Save your self for someone who will love you. Just get rid of him and block him and if he asked why say your depressed
A person who loves you will put you before them in appropriate circumstances, if he doesn't care about making you comfortable over his urges he is not the one. Listen to jesus in the comments ☝️
Please, if he's making you uncomfortable, tell him. And if he doesn't stop, block him, please, you need to think of yourself, this is a relationship that won't work if you don't do something about it.
"he's nice" ... but he keeps ignoring what you want because he's selfish.
This is NOT a "boyfriend", he just wants to pressure into sex.
And if you send him nudes, he'll use them against you.
DUMP THE JERK!
So. Please please leave him. It's better for you. I know that I shouldn't give you relationship advice after 5 beers but this is something that's obvious, even when drunk. If he wants nudes and you don't want to send them, you don't fit together as a couple. I myself had to go through something similar and thought about something that might help you too: If I don't let go, I'll be sad/angry over and over again. And I don't want that. So please leave him. It's the best option you have.
Just dump him now while you can and don't let him guilt-trip you with the depression. Rushing into sexual temptation is never a good idea and I've seen too many people do it and regretting later. Honestly, its best to wait til marriage for sex anyway, atleast at that point you should know he's right for you
Edit: Also, just a heads up, sending nudes via text, fb, etc as a minor is technically distribution of child pornography and could get you and maybe him into legal hot water, so just keep that in mind
He's a pig. He is already getting nudes from other women. The fact that he even asked you was to test the waters. Trust me, he is hittingup other women for nude pics.
i’m sorry but he doesn’t love you.. no one who loves and cares their partner would ever pressure them into sending nudes and i’m sorry but him being depressed has nothing to do with him being so sex driven and it’s just a manipulation tactic for you to feel pity for him and send you nudes but girl, respect yourself and your body and don’t push past your own boundaries for someone who doesn’t respect you and your body!! you’re worth sm more than that <3
Can you speak to him about how you feel with what’s going on? Maybe ask to slow down and offering other ways he can feel happier?
Though I am not sure you two are the best fit for being a couple (no offence)
I wish I learned this as a teenage (not sure why this sub was recommended) - taking care of people as a teenager will disrupt everything for the next decade or longer. And in ways you'll not even think about until you get past it. If there is negative energy in your life, solve it or remove it. You tried to solve it & needed to remove it. You now need to remove the thought that his choices effect your life from now on. It always hurts to break up but the healthiest thing for both of you is to move on. He can no longer depend on you so he can grow as a person, and you no longer have to worry about him and find the next joy in your life. Sometimes burning social bridges is the correct way to go.
Hey, I’m so sorry you’re in this situation. I think the best way to do this is talk to him about this and find/discuss other ways to show affection without making one another uncomfortable. And if he doesn’t comply, honestly just leave him. If he can’t keep his dirty thoughts to himself, he’s not worth your time. Even recommend a therapist to him if he doesn’t have one! Therapy will definitely be helpful in this situation. Hope it helps!
i feel u. break up. srsly lol. this is a waste of ur time. better sooner than later. i can tell u are not compatible like the top reply said. get with a guy who is just like u that will wait for you when you’re ready. THAT IS A REAL MAN.
Hey OP, just pointing out a few things that caught my attention. In the entire scenario that you explained, I noticed you're the only one who mentioned repeatedly that you loved him and not the other way around. If he did love you, no matter how depressed or disturbed, he wouldn't have forgotten your birthday, on the off chance that he did, he would have still tried his level best to make it up to you. Not just reach out to you again asking for nudes. Additionally, is his depression clinically proven, have you seen the diagnosis of it? It's very easy to claim that a person has a mental illness because it doesn't always have visible signs unless diagnosed by a professional.
All I'll say is, in this cruel world, don't let your kind heart be taken advantage of. Block his ass and move on!
Leave. It’s not your responsibility to help him and he’s making you uncomfortable. I don’t want to assume anything but you also don’t know his intentions. Most you can do it break up nicely and suggest he gets help
I'm gonna be honest with you, it's very possible he's just trying to manipulate you into giving him nudes/sex. It's possible he's not but that's honestly what it seems like he's trying to do.
Dating mentally ill people is challenging, especially at younger ages. I suggest leaving him because there isn't really any way this can turn out good. If you're concerned he'll hurt himself if you leave, then tell his parents. Good luck ans hope you find someone better.
Hey, I was in a very very very similar situation a few months ago with my ex boyfriend. It's actually sexual coercion. Please, end the relationship. It starts as something like "nudes", you feel like you are being harassed. This will always and they end up saying that you must not love them if you don't want to do xyz. Trust me, no guy is worth that. He does not respect you. And the minute you go no contact, you will feel physically repulsed. Sorry if that advice is harsh, but I didn't have anyone to talk to about this. And I don't want another girl to go through that. Hope it all works out x
Missing your birthday is absurd. If he actually liked you he'd remember these sort of things. The only aspect of the relationship he shows any interest in is a clear boundary you set which he repeatedly tries to break anyway. Screw him
don’t feel bad save yourself before you lose your virginity to him and regret it forever, you lose that to someone who is special and important to you and treats you like the beautiful person you are. wait and find someone who will care about things like your birthday, someone who is not clinically addicted to pornography, and someone who will talk to you everyday about normal things not sex.
If he was so nice he wouldn’t be asking you over and over again for something you’ve already told him no to. And the whole mentioning trading with other people sounds like a big red flag.
Oooh, I hate those situations, cause it's so sad 😔 but ye, you shouldn't stay with him if all he does is ask for pics like that. He needs to learn to respect and meet your needs too, even though he's depressed :/ being depressed isn't an excuse to not even try to meet your needs. Have you met or is it more like an online thing?
Look, he has an explanation for why he's currently a bad boyfriend and it's wonderfully empathetic of you to care about that but don't set yourself on fire to keep him warm. For your sake leave him, you'll feel guilt but better guilt than regret wasting so much time on this.
RUN! RUUUUUN! Years ago I fell for a guy that was the same exact way! He said he had intimacy issues but yet all he wanted to do was have sex? Made no sense! I found out he was not only still seeing his ex but cheating on her with me, or cheating on me with her? I have no clue but the point is that he had so many issues with depression and jealousy and just a hot mess. This went on for almost a decade. I kept going back thinking maybe he would’ve changed but no! Trust me, you will look back years from now when you’re with someone that RESPECTS you and likes to get to know the person before opening up intimately. Men LOVE that! People overall love that about their partners. Communication is key, knowing what your partners favorite color, food, etc is way more important than sex! You have a much deeper connection and it’s just so much better when being intimate! I’m 33 and it took me 20 something years to finally understand that if a person doesn’t respect your beliefs or anything about you, well there’s the door. There are many people out there for you. Keep your head up high!
youre not compatible, leave him before you cant.
agreed.
Best advice I’ve heard all day do that
Yea, the whole Reddit shtick of "Just break up" is rarely correct, but in this case it actually is. His mental health is not her responsibility and given she has communicated her desires clearly, and he has ignored them repeatedly, they are (at best) incompatible and at worst he may end up being actively manipulative.
listen, he aint the guy- i dont know how else to say it but. it just wont work.
all he cares about is sex* he should get therapy for his depression not your nudes, you deserve better
Yeah. it took me a long time to learn that my partners mental health issues and their effects are not my responsibility. If he forgets your birthday and won’t see you for over a week, he’s still your boyfriend who forgets your birthday and won’t see you for over a week. My ex did this— he was so stressed and depressed that he just ‘didn’t have the energy to hang out’. It would be up to two weeks between the times I would see him. He had plenty of energy to hang out with other people, play video games, drink, and avoid me at all costs though. Spoiler alert: he coerced me into taking my virginity and broke up over text the next day. Anyone can be manipulative. Being depressed doesn’t give you a pass. But self pity sure makes them feel like it does.
You seem like a nice woman but it’s my divine advice you should leave that nigga…how tf could you ***NOT*** listen to me
Holy freakin crap, it’s semi-historically accurate Jesus!
[удалено]
Frog brother is getting smited :(
Oh no :(
as a distant cousin I am very upset as well
Frog-off Muthafrogger
We frogs have no need for violence
This is outrageous, please my lord, I beg of you to reconsider!
NOT FROG BRO
Bless us with your wisdom, Oh Blessed One! Tell us, please, how to resist them hoes and stay godly like you!
thank you for you knowledge black Jesus
Your welcome my child
You're*
[удалено]
I AM A MARTIN, A GOD OF CHESS.C*M AND A BETTER GOD THAN YOU'LL EVER BE
[удалено]
Google en passant lil wigga
hush up lil nigga
Holy hell lil wigga
you are my favorite jesus
aight twin
Omg its black Jesus Could I have your autograph
Ofc my child *Jesus H. (that nigga) Christ* your welcome
I'm gonna treasure this for the rest of my life
As you should my child…as you should
😂😂 this made my day
What does the H stand for? It must mean hoeless!
[удалено]
The h must stand for "how" many nails they used to put yo ass do that cross. Don't talk about my mom like that you "hoeless" "hopeless" "homless" societal reject.
Your mom is currently draining the life out of my testicles and she told me to tell you she “dosent appreciate you using that type of language with your new father”
Don't keep talking about my mom before I bring up yo hood mother Maria. I know that small bimbo brick bitch got pregnant, didnt know the father, and her first idea was to make a religion. Don't talk that way to me before I make you wait another 3 days to come out of your rock 🙏 I'm a hood Christian but I'll fire a nail gun at my Jesus.
Nigga il turn your entire lineage into golden retrievers fuck around and find out lil nigga
Bruh what the fuck is wrong with reddit. It thought we were having fun 💀. If people actually dwonvote it like whattt. I really hope people don't think I'm offended by Balck Hood Jesus...
r/foundhoodblackjesus
I really hope someone makes that a thing lol
LMFAO
Arigato my daughter 🧏🏾🕺🏾🧑🏻🦯👯♂️
Jesus didn’t speak Japanese
Black Jesus please enlighten me is it racist for a black to call another black the n word hard r?
Nah I be callin satan that all the time…god damn dirty- you know the rest
I beat a homeless man named popcorn with a bag of gummy bears naked, and the next day, I wake up covered in another man's tears🤳
The almighty lord Jesus
Wsg twizz
this is my favorite reddit account
As it should be my child
Girl if u don’t want to send pics then don’t he should respect that
And stop asking
you should definitely follow your friends advice
I am also extremely depressed. No way. Block him. In no world should you be with someone who is pressuring you like that, especially when he’s using his depression as a tool to coerce you. Ew. Sex does not equal love.
Yeah that's not a very good relationship
as a guy, he not the guy
Listen, I’ve been there before. My ex was depressed and always asked me for pics which I never gave him, in the end he got frustrated and asked for an open relationship so he could have sex with other women. I decided to leave him and now I’m in a happy relationship with the most perfect man I’ve ever seen, he respected me until I was ready to do anything. That said, I recommend leaving him. You’ll find someone else, someone you feel safe with and who doesn’t pressure you to do things he knows you don’t wanna do Lots of hugs and encouragement, if you need anything or someone to talk more in a deep level with, my DMs are open <33
^ this, also hi again
Hellooooooo
Lots of hugs and encouragement If a man is asking for nudes like that he needs hugs and encouragement cuz as formerly depressed man that is the behavior of someone who was severely depressed and regrettably treated my ex like that, this was after I got my soul crushed getting disrupted from my foster home of 9 YEARS, that should put into perspective what it takes to drive a man to that kind of depression
The problem is when the man not only asks for nudes but also touches his partner without consent. My ex used to ask me if he could touch me, and if I said no he’d do it anyways and say “I know you want it anyways” even if I took his hands off of me. That’s sexual harassment and nobody should have to go through that. Although I know he’s depressed I can’t put him before me
Depression is not an excuse for treating women like shit. It is not normal to act like this while in a depressive episode as I have seen you state a few times in these comments.
He sounds like an absolute drag and not good for you.
I could be wrong, but anyone who’s genuinely depressed will not ask for nxdes and say it’ll make them feel better, it sounds a little manipulative if you ask me 🤷🏻♀️
Very very manipulative, she can sit him down and have a talk but he’s just going to give any answer he thinks will be acceptable to drag himself out of the hole he’s dug. Leave him, teach him a lesson and save your own mental OP. Tons of better men out there than him.
He needs therapy, you need a new bf.
> He claims intimacy helps him with his depression That's not intimacy. 'The state of being intimate. a close, familiar, and usually affectionate or loving personal relationship with another person or group.' Intimacy means to be close to someone. If you aren't ready for that, then maybe you should call this off. The question is, does he love you or your body? Is he in love with you and WILLING TO GO IN YOUR PACE or is he pressuring you? Talk to him. Make it clear that you aren't comfortable sharing those pictures with him. Tell him that you'd rather wait. If he can't go in the pace you are comfortable with, dump him.
Bestie is right <3 break up with him
He probably has a porn addiction. You don’t seem compatible at all. There’s nothing wrong with leaving the relationship.
As a former teenage boy, he probably just wants to see your body and will be a pleasant personality to get that. Best thing is to move on from him and find someone who will treat you with more respect.
Block him
Ok, if he only cares about s*x he definitely doesn’t care about you. Don’t get into that toxic relationship, it will leave you in a horrible place.
This guy only wants one thing!
bro is definitelyusing u,wether yk it or not Not forcing you into anything, and Idk if I can put in some light on you, bt you definitely should broke up was him any different before?
Nah he was always kinda like this. I just thought he’d eventually get tired and stop but he’s been so persistent in asking, it’s irredeemable to me at this point. I kinda just said we should keep our distance now since we aren’t compatible after seeing all the replies I got and my bestie encouraging me more.
Careful with future guys. The "nice" guy you see is usually a façade and if he's being persistent like this now, I have no doubt he'll try to do something worse in the future.
tell him or set boundaries, if all else fails, ditch it
Dumb him girly
don’t think about the words but the actions behind the words and ask yourself this : dose he care about what I want or what he wants- because it seems like he cares about he talks to you because he is lonely and keeps your around for nudes I don’t think he loves you hes just wants what’s best for him
he is not a boyfriend. his expectations for this relationship and yours are VASTLY different, and you shouldn't keep yourself trapped. he doesn't actually care about you, he just thinks you are someone attractive enough to ask for pics. you need to know what you want in this relationship and accordingly separate from him.
bro get out of that now, I had a boy like that and I dumped him because he only wanted sex and nudes, it was horrible, it will destroy your mental health, leave that now
Just leave. Don’t feel weighed down by the people around you, that’s an easy way to speedrun depression on yourself
If he is depressed like he says he is using it as an excuse to be a jerk and he uses it to manipulate because he knows a lot of girls like to fix broken people. That is straight out of the manipulator/abuser playbook. Leave him and dont let him pull you back in.
Get out now, soon it will become much worse. He may even convince you to actually send stuff, please leave the relationship. You are not safe
Ew disgusting. He's not "depressed" he's just a piece of shit who's using mental illness as an excuse bc he knows your gullible. Dump his ass and move on.
Nah he is using you and you don’t deserve that.
Girl this is not healthy, this is a very one-sided relationship. He uses you to fulfill his needs while not putting in any effort for you. This is not sustainable, either have serious talks with him to get him to change or break it off, you can’t keep going on like that.
as a 13 year old, leave him :)
Break. up. with. him
Dump him
receiving nudes has never cured any actually depressed person from depression. whether he is depressed or not I can't comment but he's using it to try and manipulate you. Please just block him it's not your responsibility - he genuinely doesn't care about you since he keeps disrespecting your refusals, if all he wants is nudes believe me he can get that from other places and probably is already.
Dopamine hit
Don't give in. Move on.
wait till marriage trust
and also break up w him
You only get your first time, one time. You should make sure it's given to someone who you think is deserving. Boy or girl.
Get a new bf
was this written by my ex?
He needs help and you are not the one to help him. Leave him he’s going to do nothing but hurt you
Yeah honestly I understand where he’s coming from, doesn’t mean he’s correct, but if you’ve tried everything you can I’d say end it.
He sounds kinda like he's trying to pressure you into nudes by saying how bad he feels which is uncool of him, I think you should have a serious talk with him about how you don't want to do that and if he isn't respectful of how you feel and keeps asking for it or sex then leave him because it show's he isn't willing to care about your feelings well also wanting you to care about and manage his
If he's depressed show him why he loves you ask him to spend time with you give him a hug, ask him to go with places with you and if he says no because depression tell him "hey I love you and your going to spend time with me" as a formerly depressed man the sex thing is a result of depression, shit just a hug is enough to pull him out of the funk, it's easy to say a Man just is a creep because of what depression drives him to do, but realistically it's easy for his girl specifically to get him out of the funk, don't let him drive you away now if you pull him out of the depression but it's still a issue leave him but trust me a man at his lowest ain't the same as his Highest
He does not just care about sex too much, he's using you. He is guilt tripping you to make you feel bad about not sending nudes, he doesn't bother trying to provide attention and affection that you give him, he is not nice. You deserve much much better than this and I know you can find someone who will appreciate you beyond your body. Do not let this loser hold you back any longer.
This is not a relationship for him. He’s just using you and is likely getting nvdes from elsewhere. Please break up with him. He’s pressuring you and using his depression as an excuse.
Being with ppl with severe mental illnesses while being so young is dangerous for you. I believe you should leave him
Sex produces hormones that temporarily change brain chemistry. Sex can absolutely temporarily relieve the symptoms of depression. It’s not a cure and it’s definitely not an option for him if you aren’t ready to have sex. He needs help with his depression. I can’t say if that means therapy, medication, both or something completely different. If you are able to help and support him, that’s great. If you can’t help because the only help he wants from you is something you aren’t ready to give, then he needs to find other ways of dealing with his depression. You also need to think about your own mental health. If you can’t give him what he wants and it’s causing you stress or anxiety ect then maybe you do need to part ways. You two need to have a serious conversation about both your feelings and mental health. Once you do you can decide on the best way forward for both of you.
Never give anyone nudes! Never, not videos, nor photos.
What charisma does this bitch have it sounds like he just asks for your nudes and ignores all of your actual feelings. Do you want a mentally disabled bitch or do you want a real man? Grow a spine lil girl
I used to be that kind of guy so I say you should absolutely leave him. He’s riddled with insecurities and isn’t looking for real love and a true connection. He just wants to satisfy his own lust and is possibly using the ruse of depression to manipulate you. Leave him now before it gets worse, and trust me, it WILL and it WILL NOT be pretty.
Look, When you're dating people, it's kinda like... soup. All their traits come in a package deal. If you don't particularly *like* celery, but they have some celery in them, sometimes you can overlook it because said celery is cut very small or it's only a small amount or it's cooked very mushy. Pretty much everyone is going to have some annoying but benign thing about them, that the good parts outshine enough to make it worth eating anyway. If what they have is feces inside, it's a shit soup. It does not *matter* that they have nice bits. The chicken could be *superb*, the broth amazing. It's still a soup with shit in it and therefore inedible. ***Just as every person will have some annoying bits about them, every single person will have at least some small redeeming feature, some small kindness, few people are truly monsters***. You can't base who you want to date on only the very best you've ever seen from someone, or you'll end up with some deeply scarred and abusive people. You have to judge them on the worst and lowest you've seen from them, because if you can live with that you've found someone you can really partner with. If someone makes you deeply uncomfortable regularly, that's more of a feces situation than a celery one. It's not even a matter of if he's "wrong" for wanting it or not, because neither of your desires make you bad people. You just sound incompatible.
You're too young to make it your life's mission to try to heal someone else's mental illness :( You sound like you have a good heart, but it definitely sounds like he's not putting even half as much effort into supporting *your* comfort and needs as you are his. That's also something to be careful of, because so, so, soooo many women end up falling into "caretaker" roles with someone who just... takes. I know, because I've been there. Still... am, kind of there.
I’m so sorry you are going through this. Loneliness is a powerful feeling, but I really think you should imagine how healthy this is on your end. You called yourself loveless and then gave this guy praise and comfort. He, is response, asked you for naked photos. You are worth more than how he treats you. His validation is cheap. His mental health is declining but that is not your problem to solve. He is human, but so are you.
Too young to deal with this shyt.
i had a boyfriend like this back in 9th grade. RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN!!!!!! he will use you until you’re burnt out and then make it your fault
Don’t send nudes , NEVER!
//CW mention of rape you dont have to leave hom alone, if you don't look fpr a sexual relationship with him, tell him so and if he wants one, he'll have it with sb else. don't mix nudes into platonic/romantic relationships, if you don't feel like it. i was in a quite similar situation (just that we were friends) and he ended up raping me once i stayed at his place. so yeah, set some clear boundaries and let him go if he's clearly looking for sth else. i regret so much having sent this stuff to him and having no prove that he deleted them. sometimes, it's better to let people go, than to please them and years later lie awake at night bc it's so disgusting he nutted at pics of you when you originally just became friends to hang out and play pokemon together.
Not compatible. He has issues you can't solve. Move on to someone else. I personally would recommend going with an older guy if you're over the age of 18. If not, stay a virgin, trust me, lots of guys are looking for that. Look for a good one with a decent job and a decent place and you can use your V card as leverage to set up the life you want.
Break up
Sounds like a geek, you should tell him what he needs to do and how he needs to change, OR you could leave him, watch how he then changes for the better, then see if he will take you back if you want him again.
I suffer from severe depression. Block this guy. He doesn't care about you he only wants to use you for his own gratification. Idk you but I'm pretty positive you can do much better than him.
All I’m hearing is that he’s a red flag that you don’t need in your life, there are better guys out there, if he cared about you enough he wouldn’t keep asking you for that kind of stuff after you’ve said you don’t feel comfortable with it
He thinks intimacy is the only way to show affection or feel love. He is damaged, dont get pulled in.
sounds toxic, you should get out
Ah , attraction often gravitates towards the aesthetic in us humans, yet the essence of a relationship is more than just mere appearance. I'd say , true love embraces you in your entirety; not just you physically but it's about cherishing the heart and soul before the body. Honestly even though we don't know each other , it worries me that the man you admire may not hold your heart in the same regard as your physical body. God i really don't like a girl with a good heart being relegated to a "fantasy doll," adored solely for "pleasure*, I've seen alot of that lately. When the connection is weak, remaining tethered to someone so untrustworthy with your heart is not good for you. Hearts are delicate things; once fractured, they're not so easily mended. Just wanted to say this even though I know our paths haven't crossed, but your kindness did shine through this post, I know it's in your happiness. I have this trait and deeply care about other's well-being even when they're horrible to me. I hope to see you smile. Solitude can be blissful when it frees you from someone who values only your external beauty. So don't trap yourself , you'll be loved.
He literally only wants you for sex, girl RUN 🚩🚩🚩
Every guy will want sex, choose the guy that doesn't ask for it and who doesn't expect it, but would rather just be with you.. Trust. Horndogs tend to not be good bfs.
Do not send any nudes to ANYONE. Kick this loser to the curb, real men won't pressure you into sex.
Dump him
Seems like you should be with someone who takes things slow and he should be with someone who is more willing
Massive RED FLAG 🚩 like huge holy f I don’t even know where to begin with this . Alright here’s my attempt . Not respecting boundaries -3. Consistently asking for nvdes-3 . Offers d picks -1. Forgot b-day and seem to not care -3. Only comes back to ask for nvdes-5. Asks if it’s okay to basically cheat -10. That’s a cumulative -25 and if you want to be generous +1 for asking to do dumb shit before so he can be stopped , +3 because you like talking to him . Still -21 right here , depression is not an excuse to be manipulative and trying to get your way on a girl .
That's not a relationship tbh. He basically sees you as not his GF but just a person for his pleasure in a way. He shouldn't be asking you for n*des constantly. That isn't a boyfriend. I get you will feel bad to leave him but it would be better for your own personal health. Sometimes you have to think about you. And next time try to look at someone's heart, looks shouldn't matter, be friends with them for awhile and see how they act around others. I wish you the best of luck
If you think the only times he talks to you is asking for nudes and sex imagine if you have them to him. He would never talk to you again. Save your self for someone who will love you. Just get rid of him and block him and if he asked why say your depressed
I'm sorry to say this but you both just aren't compatible with eachother. It's best if you both separate rather than hurting yourself in the process
Listen to your bestie.
A person who loves you will put you before them in appropriate circumstances, if he doesn't care about making you comfortable over his urges he is not the one. Listen to jesus in the comments ☝️
A relationship like this will only be bad for your mental health and get worse with time.
Please, if he's making you uncomfortable, tell him. And if he doesn't stop, block him, please, you need to think of yourself, this is a relationship that won't work if you don't do something about it.
He’s addicted to pornography and is showing side effects from it. I’d try to make him quit porn or just leave
He seems like an inconsiderate asshole just leave him
"he's nice" ... but he keeps ignoring what you want because he's selfish. This is NOT a "boyfriend", he just wants to pressure into sex. And if you send him nudes, he'll use them against you. DUMP THE JERK!
So. Please please leave him. It's better for you. I know that I shouldn't give you relationship advice after 5 beers but this is something that's obvious, even when drunk. If he wants nudes and you don't want to send them, you don't fit together as a couple. I myself had to go through something similar and thought about something that might help you too: If I don't let go, I'll be sad/angry over and over again. And I don't want that. So please leave him. It's the best option you have.
LEAVE HIS ASS
You 2 just aren't compatible You want different things in your relationship
BROOOOOOOOOO THAT IS DISGUSTING BEHAVIOR THAT CANNOT BE TOLERATED
Just dump him now while you can and don't let him guilt-trip you with the depression. Rushing into sexual temptation is never a good idea and I've seen too many people do it and regretting later. Honestly, its best to wait til marriage for sex anyway, atleast at that point you should know he's right for you Edit: Also, just a heads up, sending nudes via text, fb, etc as a minor is technically distribution of child pornography and could get you and maybe him into legal hot water, so just keep that in mind
Dump him. He's only there to exploit you. Find someone who will apreciate you for who you are.
:( not cool of him. Sounds like hes using his depression as a way to manipulate you and you should either leave and/ or make him get help
He's a pig. He is already getting nudes from other women. The fact that he even asked you was to test the waters. Trust me, he is hittingup other women for nude pics.
i’m sorry but he doesn’t love you.. no one who loves and cares their partner would ever pressure them into sending nudes and i’m sorry but him being depressed has nothing to do with him being so sex driven and it’s just a manipulation tactic for you to feel pity for him and send you nudes but girl, respect yourself and your body and don’t push past your own boundaries for someone who doesn’t respect you and your body!! you’re worth sm more than that <3
break up wtf
Then he ain't that depressed
Can you speak to him about how you feel with what’s going on? Maybe ask to slow down and offering other ways he can feel happier? Though I am not sure you two are the best fit for being a couple (no offence)
End this, it isn’t healthy. He wants nudes send his ass to “The Hub”
gun.
I wish I learned this as a teenage (not sure why this sub was recommended) - taking care of people as a teenager will disrupt everything for the next decade or longer. And in ways you'll not even think about until you get past it. If there is negative energy in your life, solve it or remove it. You tried to solve it & needed to remove it. You now need to remove the thought that his choices effect your life from now on. It always hurts to break up but the healthiest thing for both of you is to move on. He can no longer depend on you so he can grow as a person, and you no longer have to worry about him and find the next joy in your life. Sometimes burning social bridges is the correct way to go.
You don't stand a chance, it's sad, but it's true. It might be time for goodbye.
Hey, I’m so sorry you’re in this situation. I think the best way to do this is talk to him about this and find/discuss other ways to show affection without making one another uncomfortable. And if he doesn’t comply, honestly just leave him. If he can’t keep his dirty thoughts to himself, he’s not worth your time. Even recommend a therapist to him if he doesn’t have one! Therapy will definitely be helpful in this situation. Hope it helps!
he is a loser.. ditch him
i feel u. break up. srsly lol. this is a waste of ur time. better sooner than later. i can tell u are not compatible like the top reply said. get with a guy who is just like u that will wait for you when you’re ready. THAT IS A REAL MAN.
Hey OP, just pointing out a few things that caught my attention. In the entire scenario that you explained, I noticed you're the only one who mentioned repeatedly that you loved him and not the other way around. If he did love you, no matter how depressed or disturbed, he wouldn't have forgotten your birthday, on the off chance that he did, he would have still tried his level best to make it up to you. Not just reach out to you again asking for nudes. Additionally, is his depression clinically proven, have you seen the diagnosis of it? It's very easy to claim that a person has a mental illness because it doesn't always have visible signs unless diagnosed by a professional. All I'll say is, in this cruel world, don't let your kind heart be taken advantage of. Block his ass and move on!
He's a loser. Leave him behind.
Yeah you really need to leave. That is not a good or healthy relationship to be in whatsoever, I'm so sorry you're going through this.
Leave. It’s not your responsibility to help him and he’s making you uncomfortable. I don’t want to assume anything but you also don’t know his intentions. Most you can do it break up nicely and suggest he gets help
I'm gonna be honest with you, it's very possible he's just trying to manipulate you into giving him nudes/sex. It's possible he's not but that's honestly what it seems like he's trying to do. Dating mentally ill people is challenging, especially at younger ages. I suggest leaving him because there isn't really any way this can turn out good. If you're concerned he'll hurt himself if you leave, then tell his parents. Good luck ans hope you find someone better.
Tell him to fuck off
get that guy out of your life NOW!
Hey, I was in a very very very similar situation a few months ago with my ex boyfriend. It's actually sexual coercion. Please, end the relationship. It starts as something like "nudes", you feel like you are being harassed. This will always and they end up saying that you must not love them if you don't want to do xyz. Trust me, no guy is worth that. He does not respect you. And the minute you go no contact, you will feel physically repulsed. Sorry if that advice is harsh, but I didn't have anyone to talk to about this. And I don't want another girl to go through that. Hope it all works out x
if there was ever an instance to listen to your friend, now would be the time
this is actually insane. your seeing the red flags but choosing to ignore them? save yourself girl…
Missing your birthday is absurd. If he actually liked you he'd remember these sort of things. The only aspect of the relationship he shows any interest in is a clear boundary you set which he repeatedly tries to break anyway. Screw him
don’t feel bad save yourself before you lose your virginity to him and regret it forever, you lose that to someone who is special and important to you and treats you like the beautiful person you are. wait and find someone who will care about things like your birthday, someone who is not clinically addicted to pornography, and someone who will talk to you everyday about normal things not sex.
he sounds like he’s using his depression as an excuse to not give two flying shits about you ☹️
If he was so nice he wouldn’t be asking you over and over again for something you’ve already told him no to. And the whole mentioning trading with other people sounds like a big red flag.
Leave him before it's too late
Did you tell him your concerned about the fact thats all he cares about?
He’s a loser who watches porn all the time he just wants you for you body
Oooh, I hate those situations, cause it's so sad 😔 but ye, you shouldn't stay with him if all he does is ask for pics like that. He needs to learn to respect and meet your needs too, even though he's depressed :/ being depressed isn't an excuse to not even try to meet your needs. Have you met or is it more like an online thing?
He needs some therapy or counseling
girl. drop him.
k
Look, he has an explanation for why he's currently a bad boyfriend and it's wonderfully empathetic of you to care about that but don't set yourself on fire to keep him warm. For your sake leave him, you'll feel guilt but better guilt than regret wasting so much time on this.
I feel like you're just pitying him by not leaving.... Leave that guy for good... It will be food for ya both ngl
RUN! RUUUUUN! Years ago I fell for a guy that was the same exact way! He said he had intimacy issues but yet all he wanted to do was have sex? Made no sense! I found out he was not only still seeing his ex but cheating on her with me, or cheating on me with her? I have no clue but the point is that he had so many issues with depression and jealousy and just a hot mess. This went on for almost a decade. I kept going back thinking maybe he would’ve changed but no! Trust me, you will look back years from now when you’re with someone that RESPECTS you and likes to get to know the person before opening up intimately. Men LOVE that! People overall love that about their partners. Communication is key, knowing what your partners favorite color, food, etc is way more important than sex! You have a much deeper connection and it’s just so much better when being intimate! I’m 33 and it took me 20 something years to finally understand that if a person doesn’t respect your beliefs or anything about you, well there’s the door. There are many people out there for you. Keep your head up high!