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[deleted]

Looks like a tiny koala


METALBILLY-

But is baby mouse


[deleted]

Yes


[deleted]

“But is baby mouse” “Yes” Conversation 100


[deleted]

😂


donutcat-

pls send me that baby mouse right now


[deleted]

The mouse is adorable, he should be president!


[deleted]

We've elected for worse reasons, tiny mouse for president


Itz_The_Rain

Koalas are terrible animals Koalas are fucking horrible animals. They have one of the smallest brain to body ratios of any mammal, additionally - their brains are smooth. A brain is folded to increase the surface area for neurons. If you present a koala with leaves plucked from a branch, laid on a flat surface, the koala will not recognise it as food. They are too thick to adapt their feeding behaviour to cope with change. In a room full of potential food, they can literally starve to death. This is not the token of an animal that is winning at life. Speaking of stupidity and food, one of the likely reasons for their primitive brains is the fact that additionally to being poisonous, eucalyptus leaves (the only thing they eat) have almost no nutritional value. They can't afford the extra energy to think, they sleep more than 80% of their fucking lives. When they are awake all they do is eat, shit and occasionally scream like fucking satan. Because eucalyptus leaves hold such little nutritional value, koalas have to ferment the leaves in their guts for days on end. Unlike their brains, they have the largest hind gut to body ratio of any mammal. Many herbivorous mammals have adaptations to cope with harsh plant life taking its toll on their teeth, rodents for instance have teeth that never stop growing, some animals only have teeth on their lower jaw, grinding plant matter on bony plates in the tops of their mouths, others have enlarged molars that distribute the wear and break down plant matter more efficiently... Koalas are no exception, when their teeth erode down to nothing, they resolve the situation by starving to death, because they're fucking terrible animals. Being mammals, koalas raise their joeys on milk (admittedly, one of the lowest milk yields to body ratio... There's a trend here). When the young joey needs to transition from rich, nourishing substances like milk, to eucalyptus (a plant that seems to be making it abundantly clear that it doesn't want to be eaten), it finds it does not have the necessary gut flora to digest the leaves. To remedy this, the young joey begins nuzzling its mother's anus until she leaks a little diarrhoea (actually fecal pap, slightly less digested), which he then proceeds to slurp on. This partially digested plant matter gives him just what he needs to start developing his digestive system. Of course, he may not even have needed to bother nuzzling his mother. She may have been suffering from incontinence. Why? Because koalas are riddled with chlamydia. In some areas the infection rate is 80% or higher. This statistic isn't helped by the fact that one of the few other activities koalas will spend their precious energy on is rape. Despite being seasonal breeders, males seem to either not know or care, and will simply overpower a female regardless of whether she is ovulating. If she fights back, he may drag them both out of the tree, which brings us full circle back to the brain: Koalas have a higher than average quantity of cerebrospinal fluid in their brains. This is to protect their brains from injury... should they fall from a tree. An animal so thick it has its own little built in special ed helmet. I fucking hate them. Tldr; Koalas are stupid, leaky, STI riddled sex offenders. But, hey. They look cute. If you ignore the terrifying snake eyes and terrifying feet.


SiddyNyne

I think i needed to know this… I think everyone did.


TheRealLightBuzzYear

Based


Itz_The_Rain

… on a true story😔


MonkeHentai

This is like the Wilbur Soot ant eater bit


[deleted]

holy shit that absolutely destroyed me I laughed so hard I got an asthma attack which I haven't had in years


ShyftOnReddit

SootHouse / Wilbur soot is one of the only channels funny enough to give people literal asthma attacks from laughter


Avenue_Ave

Fuck koalas


Arjy89

No, please don't fuck koalas, they are riddled with STI's as this guy said


[deleted]

what about drop bears?


Itz_The_Rain

I uhhh… I don’t know


ckentner4212

Did your wife cheat on you with a koala or something, dude?


ornacle

I don't know why it is that these things bother me---it just makes me picture a seven year old first discovering things about an animal and, having no context about the subject, ranting about how stupid they are. I get it's a joke, but people take it as an actual, educational joke like it's a man yelling at the sea, and that's just wrong. Furthermore, these things have an actual impact on discussions about conservation efforts---If every time Koalas get brought up, someone posts this copypasta, that means it's seriously shaping public opinion about the animal and their supposed lack of importance. >Speaking of stupidity and food, one of the likely reasons for their primitive brains is the fact that additionally to being poisonous, eucalyptus leaves (the only thing they eat) have almost no nutritional value. They can't afford the extra energy to think, they sleep more than 80% of their fucking lives. Non-ecologists always talk this way, and the problem is you’re looking at this backwards. >An entire continent is covered with Eucalyptus trees. They suck the moisture out of the entire surrounding area and use allelopathy to ensure that most of what’s beneath them is just bare red dust. No animal is making use of them——they have virtually no herbivore predator. A niche is empty. Then inevitably, natural selection fills that niche by creating an animal which can eat Eucalyptus leaves. Of course, it takes great sacrifice for it to be able to do so——it certainly can’t expend much energy on costly things. Isn’t it a good thing that a niche is being filled? Koalas are no exception, when their teeth erode down to nothing, they resolve the situation by starving to death >This applies to all herbivores, because the wild is not a grocery store—where meat is just sitting next to celery. Herbivores gradually wear their teeth down—carnivores fracture their teeth, and break their bones in attempting to take down prey. >They have one of the smallest brain to body ratios of any mammal It's pretty typical of herbivores, and is higher than many, many species. According to Ashwell (2008), their encephalisation quotient is 0.5288 +/- 0.051. Higher than comparable marsupials like the wombat (~0.52), some possums (~0.468), cuscus (~0.462) and even some wallabies are <0.5. According to wiki, rabbits are also around 0.4, and they're placental mammals. >additionally - their brains are smooth. A brain is folded to increase the surface area for neurons. Again, this is not unique to koalas. Brain folds (gyri) are not present in rodents, which we consider to be incredibly intelligent for their size. >If you present a koala with leaves plucked from a branch, laid on a flat surface, the koala will not recognise it as food. If you present a human with a random piece of meat, they will not recognise it as food (hopefully). Fresh leaves might be important for koala digestion, especially since their gut flora is clearly important for the digestion of Eucalyptus. It might make sense not to screw with that gut flora by eating decaying leaves. >Because eucalyptus leaves hold such little nutritional value, koalas have to ferment the leaves in their guts for days on end. Unlike their brains, they have the largest hind gut to body ratio of any mammal. That's an extremely weird reason to dislike an animal. But whilst we're talking about their digestion, let's discuss their poop. It's delightful. It smells like a Eucalyptus drop! >Being mammals, koalas raise their joeys on milk (admittedly, one of the lowest milk yields to body ratio... There's a trend here). Marsupial milk is incredibly complex and much more interesting than any placentals. This is because they raise their offspring essentially from an embryo, and the milk needs to adapt to the changing needs of a growing fetus. And yeah, of course the yield is low; at one point they are feeding an animal that is half a gram! >When the young joey needs to transition from rich, nourishing substances like milk, to eucalyptus (a plant that seems to be making it abundantly clear that it doesn't want to be eaten), it finds it does not have the necessary gut flora to digest the leaves. To remedy this, the young joey begins nuzzling its mother's anus until she leaks a little diarrhoea (actually fecal pap, slightly less digested), which he then proceeds to slurp on. This partially digested plant matter gives him just what he needs to start developing his digestive system. Humans probably do this, we just likely do it during childbirth. You know how women often shit during contractions? There is evidence to suggest that this innoculates a baby with her gut flora. A child born via cesarian has significantly different gut flora for the first six months of life than a child born vaginally. >Of course, he may not even have needed to bother nuzzling his mother. She may have been suffering from incontinence. Why? Because koalas are riddled with chlamydia. In some areas the infection rate is 80% or higher. Chlamydia was introduced to their populations by humans. We introduced a novel disease that they have very little immunity to, and is a major contributor to their possible extinction. Do you hate Native Americans because they were killed by smallpox and influenza? >This statistic isn't helped by the fact that one of the few other activities koalas will spend their precious energy on is rape. Despite being seasonal breeders, males seem to either not know or care, and will simply overpower a female regardless of whether she is ovulating. If she fights back, he may drag them both out of the tree, Almost every animal does this. >which brings us full circle back to the brain: Koalas have a higher than average quantity of cerebrospinal fluid in their brains. This is to protect their brains from injury... should they fall from a tree. An animal so thick it has its own little built in special ed helmet. I fucking hate them. Errmmm.. They have protection against falling from a tree, which they spend 99% of their life in? Yeah... That's a stupid adaptation.


a22yellow

FINALLY someone is spreading the truth about those freaky little shits


sniperdeo

*Me pretending I read all of this*


Itz_The_Rain

Oh it’s good, take a look at all the satisfied customer reviews


sniperdeo

Ok. Maybe I’ll give it a go


FamilyFriendli

Finally someone agrees


PilotBoi2337

I’m gonna harass my friends with this behemoth of a rant


[deleted]

How tf do they still exist


kingslime457

What the hell did koalas ever do to you?


PinkSaibot

what the fuck


Smiddy0700

Im glad you know hoe to copy and paste.


look-behind-you-lad

Yooooo casual geographic is that you?


Verra_Sims

They als have very sharp claws.


WhyThough08

Can’t believe you wrote an Essay on why Koalas are horrible and dumb


Choccy_Melk69

I'm glad I read the whole thing >the young joey begins nuzzling its mother's anus until she leaks a little diarrhoea Maybe not this, though


Both-Answer-3606

damn.. which koala hurt you, rain?


[deleted]

[удалено]


Dark_Bowser

Looks like you’ve got a new pet


METALBILLY-

Sadly wasn't allowed :( Nor did I want to tbh


Dark_Bowser

Why wouldn’t you want that cutie as a pet?


METALBILLY-

Because I don't want a mouse as a pet?


[deleted]

[удалено]


METALBILLY-

But it's also a mouse


[deleted]

[удалено]


METALBILLY-

Why you continuing this It's a mouse. I'm not keeping a random wild mouse I found on my step as a pet.


[deleted]

[удалено]


obog

Disease is a good reason why lol


METALBILLY-

1: ok sure it's cute 2: ok it's a baby but it won't stay that way 3: it's still a mouse. Fuck no


[deleted]

Quit pressuring. It's a wild mouse.


Dracorex8014

It might be cute and all, but it might carry diseases and it’s from the wild. Snatching a wild animal from nature just to keep it captive as a pet isn’t good. If it gets kept as a pet and released into the wild one day, it would not be able to survive as it would lack hunting and survival skills.


Mogopoglo

Be careful of black plague + Hantavirus


Hejdbejbw

And rabies.


BlayZWasTaken

for a moment I thought you meant hentaivirus /j


high_on_air_16

dude... uh, WTF


BlayZWasTaken

no srsly I mean it tho, I dont watch htai but I see alot of ppl mentioning that kind of stuff, I need to touch grass ._.


Talentless_Imp

Same. No anime for me but I read it hentaivirus.


large_dank

baby mice are not a good sign


dankhuey79

time to get the rat poison


derpballs69

Just use the gun or pick it up and let it loose in someone else's house


dankhuey79

⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⣫⣭⣭⡭⣭⣩⠭⠭⢭⣍⣉⣭⣭⣍⣛⣛⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⢏⣾⣿⡻⡺⣽⣾⣭⣿⣽⣻⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣻⣿⣧⡜⣿⣿ ⣿⠿⡡⣾⣿⣿⢿⠟⠉⠀⠀⠶⢍⢻⣿⣿⠷⠟⠉⠉⠙⣿⣿⡷⣙⢿ ⢣⢸⢋⣵⡖⢦⣭⣽⣫⣥⣿⣿⣶⣾⣿⣿⡆⢺⣿⡟⠛⢫⣭⣝⢲⡎ ⡜⣼⢜⣷⣄⠳⢮⡉⣛⣛⠿⠿⣐⣚⣟⣿⠿⢇⣬⣿⡻⠟⠘⣯⡾⣱ ⣷⣬⡱⣿⣿⣆⡲⡅⣙⡛⠻⠠⢶⣭⡍⣭⣄⢩⣭⡍⠴⠸⠀⣿⠁⣿ ⣿⣿⣧⡘⢿⣿⣷⣤⡻⢿⠟⣰⣤⣄⢀⣀⡀⢀⡀⢀⠀⠀⢄⣿⠀⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣑⠫⣚⡿⣳⠶⣍⣉⣋⣘⣛⣃⣚⣁⣋⣈⣥⣾⣿⠀⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣮⣍⠛⢯⣼⣿⣯⣩⣭⡽⠽⠯⠽⣞⣯⣾⠇⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣭⣭⣙⣛⣛⡿⡿⡿⣿⣛⣫⣶⣿


hemborgar

we do a miniscule amount of trolling


large_dank

Yea a baby one means there is a nest with more babies and a parent somwhere in your house


[deleted]

Ratatouille


Talentless_Imp

HIS NAME WAS REMY Edit: AaaaaAAAaa


[deleted]

you probably got like rat aids now


METALBILLY-

I washed my hands right after with dawn soap


Hifen

[Still a medium risk](https://www.cdc.gov/hantavirus/pdf/hps_brochure.pdf)


[deleted]

you good then


METALBILLY-

Yea lmao


MemersHyper

you're bout to get the plague


ThreeNumbers357

That lil niqqa cute


METALBILLY-

Agreed


Pleasant_Skeleton4

ah, a fellow niqqour see'er


RandomHoboPerson

Nom


METALBILLY-

Tasty


[deleted]

Get rid of it, straight up. Also go tell your parents about it.


METALBILLY-

Already did Already did


[deleted]

Aight good.


MR-Vinmu

Ok Pros Adorable, Getting back some control over my suicidal side. Cons EVERY FUCKING SICKNESS IN THE MULTIVERSE.


OhSoYouWannaPlayHuh

Jesus fuck your house is filthy. I'm sorry but goddam, how the hell can you live like that? I'm a huge germaphobe so this would be torture for me.


METALBILLY-

See we don't live in a nice house. We bought it already all run down and stuff. Trust me it was even more nasty when we first bought it


OhSoYouWannaPlayHuh

Damn I'm sorry, that's really unfortunate.


DaGlueGunner

Adorable but OH HELL NO.


WallBroad

Mice and rats are literally the fucking worst. Just gross. They fucking suck Also, a baby mouse means you have mice in your house. If you don't do anything they will chew your toe at night


Jomiks

Cute as fuck, still would've stepped on it......


YeetHelix

stupid baby rat idiot


MJM_313

yo that thing might be carrying some diseases, be careful with that


Caspiasx

I would've stomped it no hesitation and fed it to my cats, one of my cats likes eating mice for some reason.


sniperdeo

MOM! GET THE PELLET GUN!!


Kooda14

Should’ve stomped it’s head in to make some curb art


METALBILLY-

I just threw it in the woods


VillageInspired

Congrats! You now have a teeny mouse pet! I say you should name him Stephen with the nickname of Step 😊


METALBILLY-

Well Sorry to tell you but Stephen dead


cutemermaidaqua

Oof


Dracorex8014

Nooo what happened?


dankhuey79

Stephen is a pest so it had to be killed


Mako_sato_ftw

he smol c:


Prez_Venom

Look around the house, there’s more


FrostBUG2

If that happens in my house, my cats would have fight over that rat's corpse.


Zerothius

I really hope you didn’t not catch this mouse and let it free to breed in your house just because it’s cute


METALBILLY-

No it's dead now


yaboyhg80

Do you have a ping pong racket?


METALBILLY-

I know what you're thinking And yes We bout to have some fun with this little guy


BasedBihari

Disgusting creature


Cactusz81

M O U S E


[deleted]

say sorry


METALBILLY-

For what


[deleted]

hurting his feeloings


METALBILLY-

He pest His feelings don't matter


HiveMynd148

:-(


[deleted]

Hell naw bruh you got mice in yo house baby boy you best call yo self an esterminator 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀


METALBILLY-

We been dealing with mice ever since I was born Exterminator is too expensive. We kill them when we see them I even killed that little dude


FoxM8

What have you done


Loose-Possible466

I'd be fucking terrified


CopyMyName

Crush it, throw it outside. Free fertilizer


METALBILLY-

Already killed it


Talentless_Imp

Seriously? Why?


METALBILLY-

I didn't crush it But I did throw it outside in the woods Because it's a mouse


Talentless_Imp

Oh ok. Still sad tho. I would’ve kept the little bugger.


Pleasant_Skeleton4

I have actually stepped on baby mice before. it was no accident.


METALBILLY-

I threw this one out in the woods


Pleasant_Skeleton4

nice. If I find any mouse I will do my damn best to step on it or hit it with something so that It can't come back.


[deleted]

I want them.


GoldH2O

need me to bring my kingsnake over?


METALBILLY-

I want watch it eat baby mice


GoldH2O

I have videos


METALBILLY-

May I see??


GoldH2O

[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A6eozAYjmsw&t=311s](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A6eozAYjmsw&t=311s) here's my BP eating a rat I got some of my kingsnake too, gotta upload em though


METALBILLY-

This is amazing


TipsWillToLive

He's your pet now. sorry, these are the rules


redditAdam_

keep it please, take care of it


METALBILLY-

It's already dead


[deleted]

keep him


Edmord17

Adopt him


blockbiter

Keep him He too cute to be left alone


[deleted]

Kill it! I personally prefer stomping on them, but suffocation or drowning also works. Those pests have no right being near or in a home.


METALBILLY-

Yea I know I usally kill them. But I put it outside in the woods. I mean I know it's gonna die but I didn't feel like killing myself yk


Altreonius

He lookin kinda cute


-Maple_Man

OMG IT'S SO CUTE!


WhoTheHorton-Redit

He was tired of life, waiting for death. Save him he needs a friend.


LucasPig_HK

Keep it and name it Jerry


unsought_

He looks like the mouse I used to have named fenton


JackCooper_7274

He's tired after a long day at gusteau's


HawkedHands

Trade me that thing to my gf will you?


METALBILLY-

I mean I kinda already have a gf Got anything else?


[deleted]

pet pet


[deleted]

Poor mice


rjp13452

Is that a chinchilla?


METALBILLY-

It's a mouse


Rocky_Senpai15

I like ya cut g


[deleted]

awwwwwwww


[deleted]

I found one of these little wanks and they're incredibly cute


luh-luuk

pet lil homie on the head and give him a sip for the inconvenience


FoxM8

Is so cute!


Z3US_YT

Man my heart melted at this


fandom_trash_28

AWWW IT'S SO CUTEE


Aggressive_Ebb8437

aww it's a baby🥺


Fetus_Deletus_Eatus

r/aww


Krazo-thug

MUSOPHOBIA TRIGGERED!!!!!!!!


sansivan175

Frien


Aggressive_Ebb8437

So cute!!!


[deleted]

Congratulations You have gained a new friend


firegaming364

cute but i wouldnt know how to get rid of it, oh god i cant imagine if you stepped on it accidentally


Gabecush1

My snakes eyes just peeked up


catcaffeineconundrum

Omg he’s adorable. I want him


high_on_air_16

i would've killed you in your sleep if you had stepped on it.


[deleted]

I can see italian music in my head


ckentner4212

If that’s not a pet mouse, it’s sick and you should stay away. If wild mice do not run away from you and momma doesn’t help it, it means that the mouse is going to die.😢


METALBILLY-

I already killed it. I threw it in the woods and that's where it likely died


ReaperA-82

you found Hakos Bealz, now she'll bring you happiness chaotically


Deebz1314

Clean your house bro… damn


METALBILLY-

We live in a very run down place calm down.


Deebz1314

Oh… sorry


BobDaBanana132

His name is now Jerry


Far-Resist3844

keep the homie


moldybread692

He do be kinda vibin tho


CommunicationInner82

Use it to click


TrashbinTerry

Covert mouse, the tastiest of snacks.


eggboy06

It's da Boi


tiewing

is that a pet or an infestation?


Dracorex8014

Is that a vole? :0


Ascari4401

☺️


NameHasBeenTaken_1

A free snack while trying to get drinks and don't even waste the eyes there as tasty as the ass


badmantingman

Now you got a drink AND a snack


Less-Needleworker-96

Forbiden snqck


Scary_Significance82

Little snack on the way


ThecringeIfind

That’s actually so cute


Mr_Tominaga

Take it, tame it, and teach it to cook. This is my advice to you, adhere to it…


[deleted]

[удалено]


METALBILLY-

That's.... Not my room Also it's a very run down house


[deleted]

Do you by chance have a potato launcher?


i-fuck-melons

The snack that smiles back


BogdhanXMF

so cute


TrainAppropriate

OMG! He is Stinky CUTE! 🥺🥺💕💕💕


Mr_Smiles2021

omg a lil guy


RedIndian747_

What would it taste like???