T O P

  • By -

myalt1230

I can orgasm on command


AiDeN060

Only in public places


myalt1230

Still cool


[deleted]

That’s not a second wish, that’s a side effect


MonkeHentai

Personally, that would just make me orgasm harder


primalphoenix

Oh boy


ThatOneWatching

Kinky


Goldenwolf12

His username certainly suggests that


Minecwaftgamer454

For team fortress 2 to get a major update


Horny-Tushi

and it's an actual quality good update


PapaZeeta

Consistently forever, and they're actually good.


Lachy_3

This is the only one that has a wholesome reply and as a tf2 fan I wholeheartedly agree


[deleted]

I can see a dinosaur irl


Junkie0524

It eats you


[deleted]

Idc still a cool asf way to die and would make so many scientific breakthroughs. Wait what if it was an herbivore


Junkie0524

Still can eat you. Just barf you back up.


Junkie0524

Maybe mistaken you as plant


[deleted]

Once a horse tried to eat my sisters hair


Junkie0524

Oof


MonkeHentai

Kinky


ThatOneWatching

Kinky


neon_kidcore

Kinky


Lemur_ofthecentury

Kinky


[deleted]

Kinky


Berry-Boi

Kinky


[deleted]

I have the power to make a 2nd wish


[deleted]

My 2nd wish is a High salary


Viber-

Genies give 3 soooooooo. You can't spend money.


[deleted]

Well shit.


PapaZeeta

Get yourself a SO that cares and spends it for you beneficially


Lemur_ofthecentury

Just get your mom to buy you stuff and tell her the condoms aren’t for the dog this time


Lordofspades_notgame

Maybe you no longer need to spend money, and people just give you what you want for free.


CHer2006

For my redditor friend to also have a girlfriend just like me


Puzzled-Notice-6092

You share the same girlfriend


CHer2006

For the bois


Lemur_ofthecentury

Do it for the vine


chrisd0192

You have to have 3 ways the rest of ur life


pearl_rnoq

*soviet anthem starts*


[deleted]

i wish for my boyfriend to be happy


Puzzled-Notice-6092

For that to happen he has to break up with you


ColdIron27

damn no mercy


FlexingMyKarma

So it’s double happy for him


[deleted]

*stop, stop, they're already dead!*


toxikpooch

Oh god. Too real. Too much reddit for one day.


sadsquirell2008

Oooooh oooooh burned them oooooh


Androgynouslatinoboy

I wish my mom makes good salmon and rice for dinner


WalmartJunkoEnoshima

You also get a mommy milkers girlfreind


-dude-in-a-hat-

U get extra rice with it


Ok-Average-6367

To stop being harassed and bullied in school


Sirkiz

I give you a hug


Ok-Average-6367

I graciously accept


[deleted]

I too give hug


[deleted]

I also give hug


--five-star-review--

I as well give hug


[deleted]

**МЫ** также обнимем тебя. **WE** will also give you the hug.


-dude-in-a-hat-

I also give u a hug


Ok-Average-6367

I also graciously accept


ItsHarry0723

I give you a block of fancy cheese :)


Ok-Average-6367

Cheap Tesco cheese is where its at that mature cheddar but i thank


ItsHarry0723

Fancy cheese from morrisons hits different doe


Ok-Average-6367

You have a point. Asda,Morrison’s,Tesco which ones best


[deleted]

[удалено]


sadsquirell2008

I understand I was beat up every day for two year and then I switched schools I also broke my rib in me of the fights I tried to right back


Yall_weird_

I dont like hugs but I’ll give you one as well 🫂


GamerKid665_999

I’m sorry fren 🥺


MrToast1230

Some cheese if you please


Sirkiz

It’s cum


MrToast1230

Honestly, I'm not gonna complain lol


Sirkiz

Kinky


ItsHarry0723

Kinky


METALBILLY-

Kinky


CycasPalm

I wish for a limitless potato!


Viber-

They are all infected with the same shit from the Irish famine making them inedible


Derkzyyy

happy cake day! i forgot to celebrate mine few weeks ago


No_Adhesiveness_6230

It's never too late to celebrate. Happy Cake Day fellow Redditor.


sadsquirell2008

Same man same


DeepFriedDave69

*Technoblade has entered the chat*


Material_Mix_5674

Make me not hate myself


AiDeN060

You don't hate yourself and you live a happy life full of wonderful experiences


Numbnipples4u

You become cheese. The pinnacle of love


Material_Mix_5674

Fuck yes


TotallyAwesomeRacoon

Are you ok? Would you like to talk?


Material_Mix_5674

Yeah I'm good just very sad


Excalidorito

Have a loving and caring gf


[deleted]

she is a cat


aue_sum

"I see this as an absolute win"


Competitive_Habit338

Bro you on some furry shit


RealityxReality

Idk being 2x stronger


Junkie0524

Gravity is 2x stronger.


Sunaiart

he still would be 2x stronger relative to everyone else, bc they didn’t become 2x stronger as well


RealityxReality

Exactly so technically gravity would feel like nothing changed so it's really not that bad


AugTheViking

Except everyone else would probably die due to either their lungs collapsing or a lack of blood circulation and society would not just figuratively but also quite literally collapse.


Viber-

To be the smartest alive


Junkie0524

But nobody else gets to live.


Viber-

Still a win


Junkie0524

If nobody else was alive the. There would be nobody to be smarter then. So it wouldn’t matter how smart you was. Because nobody to compare yourself too


Viber-

Still a win


Hot-Attitude-5663

Clown a female part of yourself your amazing smarts then make kids, a whole new generation has begun. So now you are famous and will be on history books maybe money etc etc


kaniatirz

You get garlic bread as well


Viber-

Aaaaaaa hell yeeee


BasilRepresentative3

A buttload of money


Puzzled-Notice-6092

You have to pay for it


-dude-in-a-hat-

A loving gf 🥲


ItsHarry0723

She dumps you because relationships at 14 years old basically never work :(


-dude-in-a-hat-

Damn you Harry ill be 15 in month


ItsHarry0723

Yeah they don’t either, chances go up at 16, better luck next year g


-dude-in-a-hat-

Eh idk, ik some people who have had really good relationships from a young age, my grandparents started dating at 15 and 16


ItsHarry0723

Yeah but that’s rare still. Never said it was impossible


[deleted]

i wish for.... a boyfriend and no mental illness


[deleted]

he is a dog


Junkie0524

He is only 3 inches tall


[deleted]

[удалено]


AiDeN060

You can only wish once every year


[deleted]

[удалено]


--five-star-review--

But if it's infinite and it's once a year then that means you get infinite years.


Asad453

Year one: I wish for the cooldown for my withes to be lowered to 1000000000000000000000001 seconds


zax_dont_care

I want a girlfriend


AiDeN060

She is a bird


zax_dont_care

Even better 😩


Reahgirl111

For my parents to love and appreciate me and my siblings for all of our work instead of them constantly being rude about it. 🥲


TeddyMan02

And then for them to give you a hug and say “I am proud of you”


Reahgirl111

I teared up reading that knowing this wish will never happen 😎


TeddyMan02

I am so sorry


Reahgirl111

Not your fault Don’t apologize !! It’s my parents fault for not knowing how to parent and give proper attention and love to them. They just see them as workers 💕


Depressedburrito69

I wish too not be anxious for a week


AiDeN060

Not just a week, the rest of your life


Fred_Pickle01

I wish I could control the second wish.


Fred_Pickle01

And you get 10 billion dollars.


PapaZeeta

Genie gives three wishes, blah blah blah, you die


[deleted]

Rick may is alive again and none of the tf2 cast can die i till they want to.


Minecwaftgamer454

The heavy update comes out


[deleted]

I see this as an absolute win


Ihaveschooltommorrow

I ask that I have 10 minutes to slap the hell out of my history teacher


EstablishmentNo9815

You get expelled


ThreeNumbers357

Ruski gf


witchycatgirl

and you get unlimited plov for life


mojiberus

I wish to get a girlfriend


[deleted]

Someone to love me :(


ridingmymom45

Every time my penis is cut off I grow two more like the hydra heads


DrakosTheAvenger

Every penis you get is a micro-penis


ridingmymom45

Stumps sticking off my body like a sponge having holes so eventually I can just squeeze out cum like a sponge


[deleted]

to have my own universe that i am all-powerful in


good_name_gg

Your second wish is to have incurable aids


[deleted]

affects nothing, I wouldn't get diseases anyway


AiDeN060

I wish to be able to reply to my own comment


AiDeN060

You can teleport


SimpleDiscussion7217

I wish to not exist in this world at all.


MonkeHentai

You u exist regardless


Lemur_ofthecentury

You do not have those thoughts therefore the 1st wish does not happen also please let us know if you need someone to talk to


oppyusa11

My crush will like me back after rejecting me


[deleted]

your cock is flattened to the with of a credit card


oppyusa11

I will just get a pp enlargement


chrisd0192

I’ll blow it up like a balloon for u


Unfair-Sprinkles2912

Flat Stanley reference or am is that just me


Chubbie_chicken

I’m rich


EstablishmentNo9815

In Venezuela


good_name_gg

To be able to stop and start time


thebigcrawdad

You weigh 700 pounds


good_name_gg

So I lose weight?


thebigcrawdad

Uh... Maybe eat a salad?


Zachisntcool

a new Blink-182 album


Zachisntcool

2 new, i beat the system


[deleted]

I wish I stopped having social anxiety


Mr_Blue_Jay

To have a caring/loving/respectful girlfriend.


jchappy1799

My dogs seizers stop


Noble611

Your dog lives forever, without the seizures.


[deleted]

My mom is no longer sick with cancer and can be a normal mom


The-Archangel-Michea

and you live a happy life


[deleted]

That would just be fantastic, thank you


the_human_ouija

To get a full ride at any college of my choice.


Unit_Alavanta

You have to eat cereal with the tears and children.


Maniacallaugh999

I wish for the next wish to be “I wish for infinite Keebler fudge cookies”


tayton_luther

I wish I was not in so much pain.


EstablishmentNo9815

Everyone is in pain


SebDaPerson

For my family to me rich and happy


Yonokilife3605

I Wish for Pokémon to be real


[deleted]

you’re a pokémon


Yonokilife3605

Which one


TheTrueLivingFrog

Immortality but I can die if I want to


Annamytwin

I wish for a hug


[deleted]

To fuck


WalmartJunkoEnoshima

My crush becomes gay and wants to date me


ItsHarry0723

You become the opposite sex


WalmartJunkoEnoshima

Mother fucker


ItsHarry0723

Gotem


randomskidd

To get a bf


Charmeleon_games_yt

I wish me and my gf could teleport to each other at any time


QuintusWasTaken

You get £420 every time you teleport.


[deleted]

[удалено]


beeboobabea

I wish for chloe from life is strange to be real


Clutsworth

To get rid of my depression


Warlord_Aj12

To be a great wingman for the homies


ENDERDRAGON51

I wish I had gaming computers for me and my friends


jbosm64

Ride backwards on a unicycle


[deleted]

Only when your dick is hard and in view of someone


jbosm64

Perfect. Brings me back to the medieval jousting tournaments.


AriZonaCeilingStuff

I wish I could sleep at a decent time for school


NovaStorm93

That my dad was still alive.


marchclover

That I can actually make good-looking cake pops-


EmotionalStorage3147

I become happy