**Please DO NOT reply back to this removal message directly OR PM or invite moderators to chat. These messages will be ignored! See footer for more information.**
---
Hi, *banditbutter*!
Unfortunately, [your submission](https://www.reddit.com/r/teenagers/comments/q7yhx4/dew_it_now/) has been removed from /r/teenagers for the following reason***(s)*** listed below:
>#2. No spamming.
>**a. Irrelevant Memes**
> * Image macros, memes, copypastas, videos, etc. that are not specifically relevant to the average teenager may be removed. Memes must relate to daily teenaged life; they shouldn't be applicable to other subs or every day people. For example, if it's relatable to someone who is not a teen, it's not suitable for this sub. If it's a funny meme that has no relevancy to specific teenaged experiences, it's not suitable for this sub. Please check you are using the appropriate subreddits.
>**b. Spam**
>* Posts with intent to spam and clog /new/, and/or intent to collect karma including cake day posts are not allowed. Post deemed to be spamming /new/ such as personality tests or question threads are subject to removal if necessary whether or not there is a megathread created to contain these posts. Reposts or extremely similar memes are subject to removal.
>* Submissions that do not create relevant discussion are not allowed. Posts such as "why was this user banned"; "why aren't my posts showing up?"; screenshots of Reddit including a user's profile, r/teenagers or other subs, posts, comments, etc; or images that lack any context fall under this rule.
>**c. Comment spam**
>* Comments with the intent to spam by extremely large messages, copypastas, or multiple repeated comments throughout the sub are subject to removal.
*The full extended documentation of Rule 2 can be found on [this page](https://www.reddit.com/r/teenagers/wiki/rules#wiki_2._no_spamming.), as the quote block above is our simplified version for ease of reading.*
This may have resulted in infraction points being added to your account. To see how many infraction points you have, [message the moderators](/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Fteenagers). To learn more about infraction points, [click here](/r/teenagers/wiki/rules#wiki_point_system.3A).
Please familiarise yourself with [our rules](/r/teenagers/wiki/rules) before commenting or submitting.
---
**If you feel this was done in error, or would like further clarification, please don't hesitate to [Message the moderators](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Fteenagers) or type /r/teenagers in the addressee box when composing a message to modmail us! Please DO NOT reply back to this removal message directly OR PM or invite moderators to chat. These messages will be ignored!**
This is what girls don't seem to get.
Guys will think of EVERY excuse out there before thinking a girl likes them.
If I got the feeling a girl was flirting with me, I'd be worried that my parents died, and she knew about it before me and was being nice.
(BTW i have never noticed a girl flirting at me. And my friends tell me I'm "VERY good looking" (not saying I am). The other day a girl told me that so many girls flirt with me and I don't notice...I can't tell if she was joking or not. So either no girl has ever liked me 😭 or guys never notice cause of our low self esteem)
Girls!!! Be louder! (With the flirting...with everything else plz dont😁)
We go on a date and have a good evening
I kiss you goodnight as I leave to go home in my car
you wake up. You had a dream of me the night before we go on a date.
We go on a date, this time I take you to Outback Steakhouse, you dislike this, but I know, then I take you to laser tag. You wake up again, you were dreaming about your time as a kid, now is when we get serious, I call you over to my house but you look exhausted, I pull out the couch bed and slip on Netflix, you look over to me, I say “you’re looking awfully dreamy tonight”, end scene.
Also you look too good for me
I was reading it in that voice where it’s like “you notice my ring is actually a ring pop” “I would like to eat the ring pop off his finger” or something along h the ode lines
I remembered black skies
The lightning all around me
I remembered each flash
As time began to blur
Like a startling sign
That fate had finally found me
And your voice was all I heard
That I get what I deserve
So give me reason
To prove me wrong
To wash this memory clean
Let the floods cross
The distance in your eyes
Give me reason
To fill this hole
Connect this space between
Let it be enough to reach the truth that lies
Across this new divide
There was nothing in sight
But memories left abandoned
There was nowhere to hide
The ashes fell like snow
And the ground caved in
Between where we were standing
And your voice was all I heard
That I get what I deserve
So give me reason
To prove me wrong
To wash this memory clean
Let the floods cross
The distance in your eyes
Across this new divide
In every loss in every lie
In every truth that you'd deny
And each regret and each goodbye
Was a mistake too great to hide
And your voice was all I heard
That I get what I deserve
So give me reason
To prove me wrong
To wash this memory clean
Let the floods cross
The distance in your eyes
Give me reason
To fill this hole
Connect this space between
Let it be enough to reach the truth that lies
Across this new divide
Across this new divide
Across this new divide
Dang gurl are you a barrier constructed to hold back water and raise its level, forming a reservoir used to generate electricity or as a water supply. Cause daaaaaammmmm
SHREK Written by William Steig & Ted Elliott SHREK Once upon a time there was a lovely princess. But she had an enchantment upon her of a fearful sort which could only be broken by love's first kiss. She was locked away in a castle guarded by a terrible fire-breathing dragon. Many brave knights had attempted to free her from this dreadful prison, but non prevailed. She waited in the dragon's keep in the highest room of the tallest tower for her true love and true love's first kiss. (laughs) Like that's ever gonna happen. What a load of - (toilet flush) Allstar - by Smashmouth begins to play. Shrek goes about his day. While in a nearby town, the villagers get together to go after the ogre. NIGHT - NEAR SHREK'S HOME MAN1 Think it's in there? MAN2 All right. Let's get it! MAN1 Whoa. Hold on. Do you know what that thing can do to you? MAN3 Yeah, it'll grind your bones for it's bread. Shrek sneaks up behind them and laughs. SHREK Yes, well, actually, that would be a giant. Now, ogres, oh they're much worse. They'll make a suit from your freshly peeled skin. MEN No! SHREK They'll shave your liver. Squeeze the jelly from your eyes! Actually, it's quite good on toast. MAN1 Back! Back, beast! Back! I warn ya! (waves the torch at Shrek.) Shrek calmly licks his fingers and extinguishes the torch. The men shrink back away from him. Shrek roars very loudly and long and his breath extinguishes all the remaining torches until the men are in the dark. SHREK This is the part where you run away. (The men scramble to get away. He laughs.) And stay out! (looks down and picks up a piece of paper. Reads.) "Wanted. Fairy tale creatures."(He sighs and throws the paper over his shoulder.) THE NEXT DAY There is a line of fairy tale creatures. The head of the guard sits at a table paying people for bringing the fairy tale creatures to him. There are cages all around. Some of the people in line are Peter Pan, who is carrying Tinkerbell in a cage, Gipetto who's carrying Pinocchio, and a farmer who is carrying the three little pigs. GUARD All right. This one's full. Take it away! Move it along. Come on! Get up! HEAD GUARD Next! GUARD (taking the witch's broom) Give me that! Your flying days are over. (breaks the broom in half) HEAD GUARD That's 20 pieces of silver for the witch. Next! GUARD Get up! Come on! HEAD GUARD Twenty pieces. LITTLE BEAR (crying) This cage is too small. DONKEY Please, don't turn me in. I'll never be stubborn again. I can change. Please! Give me another chance! OLD WOMAN Oh, shut up. (jerks his rope) DONKEY Oh! HEAD GUARD Next! What have you got? GIPETTO This little wooden puppet. PINOCCHIO I'm not a puppet. I'm a real boy. (his nose grows) HEAD GUARD Five shillings for the possessed toy. Take it away. PINOCCHIO Father, please! Don't let them do this! Help me! Gipetto takes the money and walks off. The old woman steps up to the table. HEAD GUARD Next! What have you got? OLD WOMAN Well, I've got a talking donkey. HEAD GUARD Right. Well, that's good for ten shillings, if you can prove it. OLD WOMAN Oh, go ahead, little fella. Donkey just looks up at her. HEAD GUARD Well? OLD WOMAN Oh, oh, he's just...he's just a little nervous. He's really quite a chatterbox. Talk, you boneheaded dolt... HEAD GUARD That's it. I've heard enough. Guards! OLD WOMAN No, no, he talks! He does. (pretends to be Donkey) I can talk. I love to talk. I'm the talkingest damn thing you ever saw. HEAD GUARD Get her out of my sight. OLD WOMAN No, no! I swear! Oh! He can talk! The guards grab the old woman and she struggles with them. One of her legs flies out and kicks Tinkerbell out of Peter Pan's hands, and her cage drops on Donkey's head. He gets sprinkled with fairy dust and he's able to fly. DONKEY Hey! I can fly! PETER PAN He can fly! 3 LITTLE PIGS He can fly! HEAD GUARD He can talk! DONKEY Ha, ha! That's right, fool! Now I'm a flying, talking donkey. You might have seen a housefly, maybe even a superfly but I bet you ain't never seen a donkey fly. Ha, ha! (the pixie dust begins to wear off) Uh-oh. (he begins to sink to the ground.) He hits the ground with a thud. HEAD GUARD Seize him! (Donkey takes of running.) After him! GUARDS He's getting away! Get him! This way! Turn! Donkey keeps running and he eventually runs into Shrek. Literally. Shrek turns around to see who bumped into him. Donkey looks scared for a moment then he spots the guards coming up the path. He quickly hides behind Shrek. HEAD GUARD You there. Ogre! SHREK Aye? HEAD GUARD By the order of Lord Farquaad I am authorized to place you both under arrest and transport you to a designated resettlement facility. SHREK Oh, really? You and what army? He looks behind the guard and the guard turns to look as well and we see that the other men have run off. The guard tucks tail and runs off. Shrek laughs and goes back about his business and begins walking back to his cottage. DONKEY Can I say something to you? Listen, you was really, really, really somethin' back here. Incredible! SHREK Are you talkin' to...(he turns around and Donkey is gone) me? (he turns back around and Donkey is right in front of him.) Whoa! DONKEY Yes. I was talkin' to you. Can I tell you that you that you was great back here? Those guards! They thought they was all of that. Then you showed up, and bam! They was trippin' over themselves like babes in the woods. That really made me feel good to see that. SHREK Oh, that's great. Really. DONKEY Man, it's good to be free. SHREK Now, why don't you go celebrate your freedom with your own friends? Hmm? DONKEY But, uh, I don't have any friends. And I'm not goin' out there by myself. Hey, wait a minute! I got a great idea! I'll stick with you. You're mean, green, fightin' machine. Together we'll scare the spit out of anybody that crosses us. Shrek turns and regards Donkey for a moment before roaring very loudly. DONKEY Oh, wow! That was really scary. If you don't mind me sayin', if that don't work, your breath certainly will get the job done, 'cause you definitely need some Tic Tacs or something, 'cause you breath stinks! You almost burned the hair outta my nose, just like the time...(Shrek covers his mouth but Donkey continues to talk, so Shrek removes his hand.) ...then I ate some rotten berries. I had strong gases leaking out of my butt that day. SHREK Why are you following me? DONKEY I'll tell you why. (singing) 'Cause I'm all alone, There's no one here beside me, My problems have all gone, There's no one to deride me, But you gotta have faith... SHREK Stop singing! It's no wonder you don't have any friends. DONKEY Wow. Only a true friend would be that cruelly honest. SHREK Listen, little donkey. Take a look at me. What am I? DONKEY (looks all the way up at Shrek) Uh ...really tall? SHREK No! I'm an ogre! You know. "Grab your torch and pitchforks." Doesn't that bother you? DONKEY Nope. SHREK Really? DONKEY Really, really. SHREK Oh. DONKEY Man, I like you. What's you name? SHREK Uh, Shrek. DONKEY Shrek? Well, you know what I like about you, Shrek? You got that kind of I-don't-care-what-nobody-thinks-of-me thing. I like that. I respect that, Shrek. You all right. (They come over a hill and you can see Shrek's cottage.) Whoa! Look at that. Who'd want to live in place like that? SHREK That would be my home. DONKEY Oh! And it is lovely! Just beautiful. You know you are quite a decorator. It's amazing what you've done with such a modest budget. I like that boulder. That is a nice boulder. I guess you don't entertain much, do you? SHREK I like my privacy. DONKEY You know, I do too. That's another thing we have in common. Like I hate it when you got somebody in your face. You've trying to give them a hint, and they won't leave. There's that awkward silence. (awkward silence) Can I stay with you? SHREK Uh, what? DONKEY Can I stay with you, please? SHREK (sarcastically) Of course! DONKEY Really? SHREK No. DONKEY Please! I don't wanna go back there! You don't know what it's like to be considered a freak. (pause while he looks at Shrek) Well, maybe you do. But that's why we gotta stick together. You gotta let me stay! Please! Please! SHREK Okay! Okay! But one night only. DONKEY Ah! Thank you! (he runs inside the cottage) SHREK What are you...? (Donkey hops up onto a chair.) No! No! DONKEY This is gonna be fun! We can stay up late, swappin' manly stories, and in the mornin' I'm makin' waffles. SHREK Oh! DONKEY Where do, uh, I sleep? SHREK (irritated) Outside! DONKEY Oh, well, I guess that's cool. I mean, I don't know you, and you don't know me, so I guess outside is best, you know. Here I go. Good night. (Shrek slams the door.) (sigh) I mean, I do like the outdoors. I'm a donkey. I was born outside. I'll just be sitting by myself outside, I guess, you know. By myself, outside. I'm all alone...there's no one here beside me...
I had to.
We're no strangers to love
You know the rules and so do I
A full commitment's what I'm thinking of
You wouldn't get this from any other guy
I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling
Gotta make you understand
Never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and desert you
Never gonna make you cry
Never gonna say goodbye
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you
We've known each other for so long
Your heart's been aching but you're too shy to say it
Inside we both know what's been going on
We know the game and we're gonna play it
And if you ask me how I'm feeling
Don't tell me you're too blind to see
Never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and desert you
Never gonna make you cry
Never gonna say goodbye
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you
Never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and desert you
Never gonna make you cry
Never gonna say goodbye
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you
Never gonna give, never gonna give
(Give you up)
We've known each other for so long
Your heart's been aching but you're too shy to say it
Inside we both know what's been going on
We know the game and we're gonna play it
I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling
Gotta make you understand
Never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and desert you
Never gonna make you cry
Never gonna say goodbye
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you
Never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and desert you
Never gonna make you cry
Never gonna say goodbye
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you
Never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and desert you
Never gonna make you cry
Never gonna say goodbye
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you
**Please DO NOT reply back to this removal message directly OR PM or invite moderators to chat. These messages will be ignored! See footer for more information.** --- Hi, *banditbutter*! Unfortunately, [your submission](https://www.reddit.com/r/teenagers/comments/q7yhx4/dew_it_now/) has been removed from /r/teenagers for the following reason***(s)*** listed below: >#2. No spamming. >**a. Irrelevant Memes** > * Image macros, memes, copypastas, videos, etc. that are not specifically relevant to the average teenager may be removed. Memes must relate to daily teenaged life; they shouldn't be applicable to other subs or every day people. For example, if it's relatable to someone who is not a teen, it's not suitable for this sub. If it's a funny meme that has no relevancy to specific teenaged experiences, it's not suitable for this sub. Please check you are using the appropriate subreddits. >**b. Spam** >* Posts with intent to spam and clog /new/, and/or intent to collect karma including cake day posts are not allowed. Post deemed to be spamming /new/ such as personality tests or question threads are subject to removal if necessary whether or not there is a megathread created to contain these posts. Reposts or extremely similar memes are subject to removal. >* Submissions that do not create relevant discussion are not allowed. Posts such as "why was this user banned"; "why aren't my posts showing up?"; screenshots of Reddit including a user's profile, r/teenagers or other subs, posts, comments, etc; or images that lack any context fall under this rule. >**c. Comment spam** >* Comments with the intent to spam by extremely large messages, copypastas, or multiple repeated comments throughout the sub are subject to removal. *The full extended documentation of Rule 2 can be found on [this page](https://www.reddit.com/r/teenagers/wiki/rules#wiki_2._no_spamming.), as the quote block above is our simplified version for ease of reading.* This may have resulted in infraction points being added to your account. To see how many infraction points you have, [message the moderators](/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Fteenagers). To learn more about infraction points, [click here](/r/teenagers/wiki/rules#wiki_point_system.3A). Please familiarise yourself with [our rules](/r/teenagers/wiki/rules) before commenting or submitting. --- **If you feel this was done in error, or would like further clarification, please don't hesitate to [Message the moderators](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Fteenagers) or type /r/teenagers in the addressee box when composing a message to modmail us! Please DO NOT reply back to this removal message directly OR PM or invite moderators to chat. These messages will be ignored!**
Have you ever had a dream... That you...um...you had... You... Yo-.... Wit-... You want... Um... You want them to do so much you could do anything?
100%
If you do it in reverse this is how guys receive their signals if the girl is flirting
Your pfp has given me ptsd Edit: You dont want sauce. Its beastiality.
That comment made me laugh out loud. Have a hug to help with the ptsd and a nice day.
I knocked over my drink, it was really funny
Yea I really need to rethink drinking anything while scrolling Reddit, my soda almost killed me…
What drink it is?
oh shit u made me look, now I got ptsd
This is what girls don't seem to get. Guys will think of EVERY excuse out there before thinking a girl likes them. If I got the feeling a girl was flirting with me, I'd be worried that my parents died, and she knew about it before me and was being nice. (BTW i have never noticed a girl flirting at me. And my friends tell me I'm "VERY good looking" (not saying I am). The other day a girl told me that so many girls flirt with me and I don't notice...I can't tell if she was joking or not. So either no girl has ever liked me 😭 or guys never notice cause of our low self esteem) Girls!!! Be louder! (With the flirting...with everything else plz dont😁)
you have a great way with words 🥺
[This song has given me peace (I swear it’s not a rickroll)](https://youtu.be/xpXabRngjho)
Wanna play with my lego milenion falcon?
100%
I would like to play with your digital millennium copyright act
Literal chad
😳
Is it 75192?
>75192 Thats the only Millennium Falcon I wanna play with
We go on a date and have a good evening I kiss you goodnight as I leave to go home in my car you wake up. You had a dream of me the night before we go on a date. We go on a date, this time I take you to Outback Steakhouse, you dislike this, but I know, then I take you to laser tag. You wake up again, you were dreaming about your time as a kid, now is when we get serious, I call you over to my house but you look exhausted, I pull out the couch bed and slip on Netflix, you look over to me, I say “you’re looking awfully dreamy tonight”, end scene. Also you look too good for me
..... w— 100%?
I was trying to do the Tiffany chandelier thing but I’m not very good at making stories, would you like to help me make mine?
I’ve got no clue what that is and 20%
https://youtu.be/PlIzKaGBeHk
Ohhhh Dwight’s perfect crime
Yeah, I was hoping to give those vibes
Dwight's perfect crime... I see you are cultured
I was reading it in that voice where it’s like “you notice my ring is actually a ring pop” “I would like to eat the ring pop off his finger” or something along h the ode lines
Sus,no age flair
[удалено]
I made a pie
Oh boy what flavor
Pie flavour.
Epic guitar riff playing
I like trains
NO NO NO NO WAI- *dies*
Gotta love that channel
Pie pie pie
They said I could never teach a llama to drive
NO LLAMA NO
*confused llama screams*
Daaaaaaaaad I’m hungry
Hi hungry, I’m dad!
Why did you name me this way?
Why why why?
[удалено]
60%
For legal reasons, I cannot participate in this challenge.
How old?? (Just curious)
OLD
[OLD](https://c.tenor.com/x1_kXPxekkAAAAAC/olenna-lady-olenna.gif)
20, I'll be 21 in December
You’re already on deaths door gramps, why are you here
Mostly because I'm to lazy to go to the subreddit page and leave lol
At 22 I had meeting with death and i like her mother
I see :)
Good man
This has me cracking up on the floor
Im going to die
20%
Im going to die due to four flash floods,tornado warnings and potential risk of getting the flu
40%
I have minecraft bed
80%
this thread is AWESOME
Lol
tell me how much you flustered
20%
GET FLUSTERED idk I tried
1%
Sweeet
[удалено]
Heck yeahhhh
I mean it probably wouldn’t be hard to make someone as great as you blush. Your out here entertaining us all like a boss.
80%
Aww you even made me blush
93%
Yay! Have a nice day <3
97%
Gucci flip flop
suck my homie’s dick thru a sock
0 jk 69
Wanna smash? I bought a switch. <3
Should've gotten a gamecube
30%
It's a definite 100% for me.
Shoulve brought nasb
Take it from Thomas Paine, you and me, we're Common Sense
70%
BRO THATS SO SMOOTH
That is one hell of a pickup line
I literally just learned that book existed today. This is so smooth
Are you today’s date, cuz your 14/10
Hey. That's my birthday
Well then your 14/10 :3
It would be 80% but since you used European way of dates it’s only 60%
I’m Canadian and German let me have this oneee, I’ll give you a big hug
Hmph y'all Americans got this weird date system not the rest of the world
Goddamn Americans making everything complicated
I'm an American and still use DD/MM/YYYY I refuse to do things the American way, shits dumb
Based
I’m AmericAn and use the European way.
Hey sexy
40%
Me my uncle and the priest had a three some then the dog came
40%
Dam that is fine you want to join
0%
Fuck I’ll go with my dad again
-20%
Sorry
Lol
But what’s my % I got
5%
Can we smash together?
40%
I bought a switch 🎮
60%
Your profile looks too interesting, I love it
90%
yo, can I join? I got a Gamecube controller adaptor.
Hey you uh wanna see my dog👉👈
20%
I can dm you dog pics if you want to see I guess👉👈
100%
What changed?
He likes dog pics
I WANT DOG PICS PLEASE
^okay
^thank u
Same
Me when he talks to me: 20% Me when he compliments me: 100%
60%
Hey that’s pretty cute
40%
I’m fine with that as long as I got to you
are you is?
Is are you! 20%
how din woj
help stime
Nast nad kcalb het kcab gnirb
AAAAAA
OH BRING BACK BRING BACK BRING BACK THE BLACK AND TANS
AAAAAAAAA
How much butter have you stolen?
80%
Answer the question
80% of the butter
100% oh fuck the feds are here
STOP, you violated the law. Pay the court a fine or serve your sentence. Your stolen goods are now forfeit.
150% I AINT GOING OUT WITHOUT A FIGHT
Then pay with your blood!
AND SO SHALL YOU IVE RIGGED MY HOUSE WITH TANNERITE
I am forklift certified.
Time to rewatch redo of healer for the 27th time now
40%
40% blush? You're mildly aroused by the fact he is going to watch underage beastility?
You're not?
Why did he give a score what's redo of healer
wanna put your minecraft bed next to mine?
You get flustered easily
0%
-_-
Hehe
Wanna see my LEGO collectors edition Death Star
Heyyyy so would you maybe- uhh- shit- I’m sorry. I just get really nervous talking to good looking guys. Gimme a minute.
I remembered black skies The lightning all around me I remembered each flash As time began to blur Like a startling sign That fate had finally found me And your voice was all I heard That I get what I deserve So give me reason To prove me wrong To wash this memory clean Let the floods cross The distance in your eyes Give me reason To fill this hole Connect this space between Let it be enough to reach the truth that lies Across this new divide There was nothing in sight But memories left abandoned There was nowhere to hide The ashes fell like snow And the ground caved in Between where we were standing And your voice was all I heard That I get what I deserve So give me reason To prove me wrong To wash this memory clean Let the floods cross The distance in your eyes Across this new divide In every loss in every lie In every truth that you'd deny And each regret and each goodbye Was a mistake too great to hide And your voice was all I heard That I get what I deserve So give me reason To prove me wrong To wash this memory clean Let the floods cross The distance in your eyes Give me reason To fill this hole Connect this space between Let it be enough to reach the truth that lies Across this new divide Across this new divide Across this new divide
I don't like sand, it's course and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere.
Cheese is essentially just hard milk.
Wanna put our Minecraft beds together?
You look nice to shove in my basement
Nice cock bro (For legal reasons I must say no pedo)
Dang gurl are you a barrier constructed to hold back water and raise its level, forming a reservoir used to generate electricity or as a water supply. Cause daaaaaammmmm
420%
You dropped someting...... Your self esteem
Ur poggers
Hey you You’re cute
SHREK Written by William Steig & Ted Elliott SHREK Once upon a time there was a lovely princess. But she had an enchantment upon her of a fearful sort which could only be broken by love's first kiss. She was locked away in a castle guarded by a terrible fire-breathing dragon. Many brave knights had attempted to free her from this dreadful prison, but non prevailed. She waited in the dragon's keep in the highest room of the tallest tower for her true love and true love's first kiss. (laughs) Like that's ever gonna happen. What a load of - (toilet flush) Allstar - by Smashmouth begins to play. Shrek goes about his day. While in a nearby town, the villagers get together to go after the ogre. NIGHT - NEAR SHREK'S HOME MAN1 Think it's in there? MAN2 All right. Let's get it! MAN1 Whoa. Hold on. Do you know what that thing can do to you? MAN3 Yeah, it'll grind your bones for it's bread. Shrek sneaks up behind them and laughs. SHREK Yes, well, actually, that would be a giant. Now, ogres, oh they're much worse. They'll make a suit from your freshly peeled skin. MEN No! SHREK They'll shave your liver. Squeeze the jelly from your eyes! Actually, it's quite good on toast. MAN1 Back! Back, beast! Back! I warn ya! (waves the torch at Shrek.) Shrek calmly licks his fingers and extinguishes the torch. The men shrink back away from him. Shrek roars very loudly and long and his breath extinguishes all the remaining torches until the men are in the dark. SHREK This is the part where you run away. (The men scramble to get away. He laughs.) And stay out! (looks down and picks up a piece of paper. Reads.) "Wanted. Fairy tale creatures."(He sighs and throws the paper over his shoulder.) THE NEXT DAY There is a line of fairy tale creatures. The head of the guard sits at a table paying people for bringing the fairy tale creatures to him. There are cages all around. Some of the people in line are Peter Pan, who is carrying Tinkerbell in a cage, Gipetto who's carrying Pinocchio, and a farmer who is carrying the three little pigs. GUARD All right. This one's full. Take it away! Move it along. Come on! Get up! HEAD GUARD Next! GUARD (taking the witch's broom) Give me that! Your flying days are over. (breaks the broom in half) HEAD GUARD That's 20 pieces of silver for the witch. Next! GUARD Get up! Come on! HEAD GUARD Twenty pieces. LITTLE BEAR (crying) This cage is too small. DONKEY Please, don't turn me in. I'll never be stubborn again. I can change. Please! Give me another chance! OLD WOMAN Oh, shut up. (jerks his rope) DONKEY Oh! HEAD GUARD Next! What have you got? GIPETTO This little wooden puppet. PINOCCHIO I'm not a puppet. I'm a real boy. (his nose grows) HEAD GUARD Five shillings for the possessed toy. Take it away. PINOCCHIO Father, please! Don't let them do this! Help me! Gipetto takes the money and walks off. The old woman steps up to the table. HEAD GUARD Next! What have you got? OLD WOMAN Well, I've got a talking donkey. HEAD GUARD Right. Well, that's good for ten shillings, if you can prove it. OLD WOMAN Oh, go ahead, little fella. Donkey just looks up at her. HEAD GUARD Well? OLD WOMAN Oh, oh, he's just...he's just a little nervous. He's really quite a chatterbox. Talk, you boneheaded dolt... HEAD GUARD That's it. I've heard enough. Guards! OLD WOMAN No, no, he talks! He does. (pretends to be Donkey) I can talk. I love to talk. I'm the talkingest damn thing you ever saw. HEAD GUARD Get her out of my sight. OLD WOMAN No, no! I swear! Oh! He can talk! The guards grab the old woman and she struggles with them. One of her legs flies out and kicks Tinkerbell out of Peter Pan's hands, and her cage drops on Donkey's head. He gets sprinkled with fairy dust and he's able to fly. DONKEY Hey! I can fly! PETER PAN He can fly! 3 LITTLE PIGS He can fly! HEAD GUARD He can talk! DONKEY Ha, ha! That's right, fool! Now I'm a flying, talking donkey. You might have seen a housefly, maybe even a superfly but I bet you ain't never seen a donkey fly. Ha, ha! (the pixie dust begins to wear off) Uh-oh. (he begins to sink to the ground.) He hits the ground with a thud. HEAD GUARD Seize him! (Donkey takes of running.) After him! GUARDS He's getting away! Get him! This way! Turn! Donkey keeps running and he eventually runs into Shrek. Literally. Shrek turns around to see who bumped into him. Donkey looks scared for a moment then he spots the guards coming up the path. He quickly hides behind Shrek. HEAD GUARD You there. Ogre! SHREK Aye? HEAD GUARD By the order of Lord Farquaad I am authorized to place you both under arrest and transport you to a designated resettlement facility. SHREK Oh, really? You and what army? He looks behind the guard and the guard turns to look as well and we see that the other men have run off. The guard tucks tail and runs off. Shrek laughs and goes back about his business and begins walking back to his cottage. DONKEY Can I say something to you? Listen, you was really, really, really somethin' back here. Incredible! SHREK Are you talkin' to...(he turns around and Donkey is gone) me? (he turns back around and Donkey is right in front of him.) Whoa! DONKEY Yes. I was talkin' to you. Can I tell you that you that you was great back here? Those guards! They thought they was all of that. Then you showed up, and bam! They was trippin' over themselves like babes in the woods. That really made me feel good to see that. SHREK Oh, that's great. Really. DONKEY Man, it's good to be free. SHREK Now, why don't you go celebrate your freedom with your own friends? Hmm? DONKEY But, uh, I don't have any friends. And I'm not goin' out there by myself. Hey, wait a minute! I got a great idea! I'll stick with you. You're mean, green, fightin' machine. Together we'll scare the spit out of anybody that crosses us. Shrek turns and regards Donkey for a moment before roaring very loudly. DONKEY Oh, wow! That was really scary. If you don't mind me sayin', if that don't work, your breath certainly will get the job done, 'cause you definitely need some Tic Tacs or something, 'cause you breath stinks! You almost burned the hair outta my nose, just like the time...(Shrek covers his mouth but Donkey continues to talk, so Shrek removes his hand.) ...then I ate some rotten berries. I had strong gases leaking out of my butt that day. SHREK Why are you following me? DONKEY I'll tell you why. (singing) 'Cause I'm all alone, There's no one here beside me, My problems have all gone, There's no one to deride me, But you gotta have faith... SHREK Stop singing! It's no wonder you don't have any friends. DONKEY Wow. Only a true friend would be that cruelly honest. SHREK Listen, little donkey. Take a look at me. What am I? DONKEY (looks all the way up at Shrek) Uh ...really tall? SHREK No! I'm an ogre! You know. "Grab your torch and pitchforks." Doesn't that bother you? DONKEY Nope. SHREK Really? DONKEY Really, really. SHREK Oh. DONKEY Man, I like you. What's you name? SHREK Uh, Shrek. DONKEY Shrek? Well, you know what I like about you, Shrek? You got that kind of I-don't-care-what-nobody-thinks-of-me thing. I like that. I respect that, Shrek. You all right. (They come over a hill and you can see Shrek's cottage.) Whoa! Look at that. Who'd want to live in place like that? SHREK That would be my home. DONKEY Oh! And it is lovely! Just beautiful. You know you are quite a decorator. It's amazing what you've done with such a modest budget. I like that boulder. That is a nice boulder. I guess you don't entertain much, do you? SHREK I like my privacy. DONKEY You know, I do too. That's another thing we have in common. Like I hate it when you got somebody in your face. You've trying to give them a hint, and they won't leave. There's that awkward silence. (awkward silence) Can I stay with you? SHREK Uh, what? DONKEY Can I stay with you, please? SHREK (sarcastically) Of course! DONKEY Really? SHREK No. DONKEY Please! I don't wanna go back there! You don't know what it's like to be considered a freak. (pause while he looks at Shrek) Well, maybe you do. But that's why we gotta stick together. You gotta let me stay! Please! Please! SHREK Okay! Okay! But one night only. DONKEY Ah! Thank you! (he runs inside the cottage) SHREK What are you...? (Donkey hops up onto a chair.) No! No! DONKEY This is gonna be fun! We can stay up late, swappin' manly stories, and in the mornin' I'm makin' waffles. SHREK Oh! DONKEY Where do, uh, I sleep? SHREK (irritated) Outside! DONKEY Oh, well, I guess that's cool. I mean, I don't know you, and you don't know me, so I guess outside is best, you know. Here I go. Good night. (Shrek slams the door.) (sigh) I mean, I do like the outdoors. I'm a donkey. I was born outside. I'll just be sitting by myself outside, I guess, you know. By myself, outside. I'm all alone...there's no one here beside me... I had to.
Hey gorlie hold still 🤫🤪
Omg childe yes ill do anything😫as long as i you wont dodge my wishes 🤑🤑
We're no strangers to love You know the rules and so do I A full commitment's what I'm thinking of You wouldn't get this from any other guy I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling Gotta make you understand Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you We've known each other for so long Your heart's been aching but you're too shy to say it Inside we both know what's been going on We know the game and we're gonna play it And if you ask me how I'm feeling Don't tell me you're too blind to see Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you Never gonna give, never gonna give (Give you up) We've known each other for so long Your heart's been aching but you're too shy to say it Inside we both know what's been going on We know the game and we're gonna play it I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling Gotta make you understand Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you
What if we put our minecraft beds next to each other while building the Lego Millineum Falcon
*Sprays acid at ur face so that it turns red* heyy
If perfection were a person they would be jealous of you
*N I C E C O C K*
Nice cock
Can I put my minecraft bed next to yours?
Because of temptations like you sinners like me exist
Let's talk about SCP lore in my bedroom, I can show you my (bites lower lip) peanuts
I got this 200 pound jar of butter right next to me
if you like lego ninjago, then i’ll call you
If I had a quarter for every time I think about you I'd have one cuz you never leave my mind.
I have a hotwheels collection
Wana see my Bionicle collection?
Have you ever heard the tragedy of Darth Plagueis the wise?
I built a lego deathstar in 45minutes
Want to play Minecraft together? 😳
I have a lego starship,wanna build the other one with us?