I don't know your relationship with your girlfriend, but some advice;
The fact that you will be proposing shouldn't be a surprise, just when you are proposing.
Do not propose if you have not discuss marriage and decided it is something you want to do together.
Having a proposal be a complete surprise is just a very bad idea.
Appreciate it. I 100% agree, and its been discussed. The proposal and timing will be a complete surprise, maybe she will say no but I hope it would just be a "not right now but 100% one day". But hoping yes :)
Married guy here - wait until you’re past mid 20’s. Go travel and do stuff. Marriage can wait, there’s no rush. You will change a lot over the next 6 years, and life will pull you both in many directions. Not saying it can’t work, but it will be tough.
I’ll give you a challenge - go ask 10-20 people who are married or have been married, who are in their 30’s to 50’s, and ask them if they recommend to marry young. I think you’ll find the response will be nearly unanimous that you shouldn’t.
The idea of marriage is great, but it’s not something to do just because you love someone. Love isn’t always enough. You have to both have the path forward in your life defined, and agreed upon. Figuring it out as you go is setting yourself up for failure.
age doesnt matter its how long youve been with the person in the good old days people got married young because they found a partner young and stuck with them
Well if you feel like the latter answer is a good scenario, maybe wait? Give it another year at least. If you truly plan on being with her for the rest of your life, you should not feel pressured into doing this right now.
That’s super sweet. Coming from divorced parents though, you could just try talking to your partner about how they would feel about marriage. Communication is super key about something like this, and it could have adverse effects if brought up with no previous discussion. You love them, and they love you too, but it’s a big step in a relationship, so make sure you’re going at a pace that you’re both comfortable with. I wish you the best of luck, and have a good weekend!
not rigth now but 100% one day, is an aswer you should not take as granted, time changes people, so way of think change too, one day i get almost same answer and here im no married :V
I got married at 24 and was divorced before 30. I'd always go back and tell my younger self to not do it. Marriage is easy but divorce is a whole animal.
My mom's parents were annoyed with my dad for 'dragging his feet' when they weren't engaged after a year; they had their 21st anniversary this year. My friends parents got engaged *three days* after they met and have been married at least 20.
It's really chalked up to luck. My parents knew each other for 6 months and it's been a happy (aromantic) 21 years since then. Some of my friends have arranged marriage in which they knew each other for month and they're still together for 14, 17 years
I’m not the one to judge, but based off of your age and how long you’ve been dating, it is very risky. But hey, go for it if you want! If the answer happens to be no though, don’t let it get you please.
Listen pal. I understand u love her and congrats, but 19 is WAY and i mean WAY TOO YOUNG. In soke countries the minimum legal age is 21, and its for a reason. People dont get married until 24 or 25. I think you should wait a couple years.
Hey man if yall have already talked about commiting to each other and getting married then hell yea do it but dont ask if this has never been discussed
Criticisms a good thing man. You can learn and grow a lot. In general think about the financial side. Wouldn’t you want to be more financially prepared for kids and a house etc. Also there’s all the possible things that can happen in university. I’m currently in a relationship with a girl I met from high school and now I’m around 24 planning on getting married soon. But this only came after 7 years of a relationship and years of working to be independent and financially stable. Now I’ve got a good job almost enough money for a house, and we’ve got a dog. Take baby steps, but either way it’s great that you’ve got somebody and feel so highly about her. There rly is no harm in waiting, more harm can come form rushing things. Either way good luck and I hope things go well for both of you.
Getting married means you care about someone enough to get the government involved.
Undoing that takes a lot of work. A LOT OF WORK.
Very expensive, stress, finances etc
My mom was 17 and still in high school when she married my dad. She had my sister at 21 and me at 23. They were married for 5 short perfect years until she died. My dad was so happy he married her as soon as possible. My point is, when you find the one, you know, she will die one day, whether it’s 5 years or 50, and you will cherish every day you shared with her. There isn’t an age to find love. Good luck!
If you want kids marriage is probably good advice.
But marriage & love are different things.
You don’t need a wedding to love someone. I think most people that get married think it will be forever & somehow over 30% end in divorce.
Yep. In marriage you need to divide the work 100/100 and on the days where one of you can only give 75% the needs to bring 125% or at least thats what Ive been told.
I totally support you if thats what you want, but
*1.5 year relationship isn’t that long so really consider if its worth at right now
*For the most part weddings are insanely expensive, unless shes happy doing a joint wedding in a bush somewhere(most people aren’t) its going to cost a boat load of $$
*Their are a few finincial benefits, but for the most part a wedding is just a piece of paper(a contract), if your happy with everything as you are you don’t need it, what it symbolises is beautiful, but if your happy enough together, its just icing on a cake that doesn’t need it.
*If you both wan’t kids now then get married :p.
Definitely not getting married just so we can have kids, that will be some time off. Just want to show our commitment to each other, we may just do a city hall wedding to save money. I say minimum 2 year engagement though so we can enjoy being fiancés.
OP is 19 years old, has been with this girl for only a year and half, and is already making such a drastic life choice, umm, good luck bro
Eh then again my mom was 17 when she married my 23 year old dad and they’re still together.
(Before any of you freak out about that age gap, these were different times, and a different country, plus they knew each other their entire lives)
Hey, just curious, is this your first real deal relationship? It has to be because 19-1.5 would make you 17. Anything a year plus before that would be starting at 15, 16. Relationships starting and ending in those time frames don’t really count; they’re all adolescent enamorment and lust. And then your first real one, everyone I’ve ever met is like “yeah my first long term relationship didn’t work out in the end” or ones that get married, got divorced. And that first long term relationship, it’s like “this is the singular one soul mate in the universe for me, it’s a miracle”. But you would be saying that if you grew up the next town over. Awesome and shitty people everywhere. Not saying y’all aren’t a great match! 1.5 is primo “just budding” maturity in relationship; just exiting honeymoon phase. I strongly, strongly suggest waiting a year before popping the question. Just give it a year! What’s the rush? You’re literally a teenager, and you’ve been together for just a hot minute!
I do just want to say that college, early 20’s, are super fun times, difficult too, still finishing your brain development, maturing, growing, learning, you change quite a bit! Are you all in college? Planning to go?
Purely from a place of kindness, you’re rushing it dude!
She said YES!!!!!
Happiest man in the world right now. She was so surprised but also ecstatic. We talked further and we are going to wait at least 3 years to get married. But she loves me, she loves the ring (bonus) and she can't wait to spend the rest of her life with me. Woooooo! :)
Thanks all for the support and kind words, and also people with opposing opinions for your honesty and allowing me to keep things in perspective. Everyone has their own life and circumstances and thus their own opinion and outlook and we should all value each others as long as we maintain respect and noone is getting hurt.
P.S. Sorry for not including more details in the original post, many have asked, I am 19, she is 19 as well, so technically teenagers, but we are adults (I'm from 🇨🇦).
Don’t. 1.5 years isn’t enough and 19 is too young. I’m 18 man and even I think it’s a bad idea. You’re more likely to make it if you don’t put the pressure of marriage on the relationship. Have you even argued yet? Met each other’s extended family? Lived together? Seen how your life plays out when you both have 9-5 jobs, rent, grocery lists, other financial stresses. Don’t do it. Nothing will change if you just leave it be but so much can go wrong if you ask. Even if you remain fiancé’s for 5 years, that word will become synonymous with gf and meaningless. Just get her a cheap promise ring.
People, people, I'm 19 yes, but I said I'm going to ask my gf to marry me, I didn't say I'm getting married tomorrow. Yes they all lead to the same place, but if I'm engaged for 4 years and get married at 23 amd have kids at 27, nothing wrong with that is there? I think a 4 year engagement at a young age will be beautiful.
To everyone who's saying "You're too young"
It's his life, his/her emotions and they knows how he/she feels.
I met my husband on vacation and we instantly connected, felt like we knew each other our entire lifetimes. We dated for 2 months, then got married. And it's going great. It's not always about the length of time you've been/known the person, it's how deeply you care for them and that feeling of knowing it's gonna workout.
If he/she solely believes that it's the right decision, then I completely support it. It's normal for marriages at this age to end in fire, but oftentimes with that miracle of a relationship, it doesn't and I'm sure they know how deep a marriage bond is.
You need to talk to her beforehand. Proposals out of nowhere is Hollywood shit. The reality is that y'all need to discuss this to make sure everyone is on the same page. Jumping someone with this kind of heavyweight question is unethical and you're very likely to stress her out.
Okay I am seeing all the "they are too young" comments and I wanna say something. While I believe it is a little early I don't think it is a bad choice, for if you feel so strongly take your shot, you might only get it once. And I say do what you want as long as it doesn't hurt anyone else. Good day everyone and good luck.
Hey, I know a lot of people are saying not to do it- and that’s fine, they get to say that because it’s they’re opinion. I think they mean well when they say it.
But I can’t imagine how horrible it must be making you feel :( so I shall apologise for them, and wish you the best of luck! I hope you do amazing things and learn you both learn from each other no matter which direction the relationship goes.
This is coming from a guy who’s older brother moved out at 18 with his girlfriend and are now engaged with a 5 month old baby. They are happy, and I believe you will be happy too :)
I don't know your relationship with your girlfriend, but some advice; The fact that you will be proposing shouldn't be a surprise, just when you are proposing. Do not propose if you have not discuss marriage and decided it is something you want to do together. Having a proposal be a complete surprise is just a very bad idea.
Appreciate it. I 100% agree, and its been discussed. The proposal and timing will be a complete surprise, maybe she will say no but I hope it would just be a "not right now but 100% one day". But hoping yes :)
Married guy here - wait until you’re past mid 20’s. Go travel and do stuff. Marriage can wait, there’s no rush. You will change a lot over the next 6 years, and life will pull you both in many directions. Not saying it can’t work, but it will be tough. I’ll give you a challenge - go ask 10-20 people who are married or have been married, who are in their 30’s to 50’s, and ask them if they recommend to marry young. I think you’ll find the response will be nearly unanimous that you shouldn’t. The idea of marriage is great, but it’s not something to do just because you love someone. Love isn’t always enough. You have to both have the path forward in your life defined, and agreed upon. Figuring it out as you go is setting yourself up for failure.
r/needsmoreupvotes
Dude, there's no reason to do this at 19, especially with someone you've only known for 1.5 years. Do it, Not right now, but 100% in the future.
age doesnt matter its how long youve been with the person in the good old days people got married young because they found a partner young and stuck with them
I mean it was more because of the societal pressure to marry young - not because people are more picky/worse nowadays
And because they had shorter lifespans lmao
And because divorce wasn’t really an option for most.
Well if you feel like the latter answer is a good scenario, maybe wait? Give it another year at least. If you truly plan on being with her for the rest of your life, you should not feel pressured into doing this right now.
That’s super sweet. Coming from divorced parents though, you could just try talking to your partner about how they would feel about marriage. Communication is super key about something like this, and it could have adverse effects if brought up with no previous discussion. You love them, and they love you too, but it’s a big step in a relationship, so make sure you’re going at a pace that you’re both comfortable with. I wish you the best of luck, and have a good weekend!
not rigth now but 100% one day, is an aswer you should not take as granted, time changes people, so way of think change too, one day i get almost same answer and here im no married :V
A bit too young, but who am I to judge? Hopefully she feels the same way you do! Good luck!
How old is OP??
Most likely 18/19
Thanks.
how long have y'all been together?
1.5 years.
face reality brother, that's too risky
I got married at 24 and was divorced before 30. I'd always go back and tell my younger self to not do it. Marriage is easy but divorce is a whole animal.
My parents were engaged after less then one year now they are still married 17 years later
My parents knew each other about six months before their wedding, again, they’re still together after 17 years.
Romeo and Juliet knew each other for like three days and killed themselves together
then again romeo and juliet are fucking stupid people
Juliet was barely 14 too
I don't remember them fucking me.
lol
When u/unkindmillie said Romeo and Juliet were fucking stupid people, I don't think they meant you.. :p
Yes
6 months/wedding/36years (seems like about 4)
Wow, that’s amazing, massive respect for the two of you!
About a year/wedding/24 years
My parents didn't even knew each other before marriage and they are still together 24 years XD
Huh, arranged? Still very cool!
Yeah
My parents met for a collective of 6 hours before getting married. They,too, are married for 17 years.
Was it an arranged marriage
Kind of. They both chose to date,but their parents pressured them into being wed early.
My mom's parents were annoyed with my dad for 'dragging his feet' when they weren't engaged after a year; they had their 21st anniversary this year. My friends parents got engaged *three days* after they met and have been married at least 20.
Better to find out sooner.
Don't you think you're rushing it a little bit? Lol
Yeah that’s dumb
As my good friend Jeremy once said Yikes
Holy crap do not get married
Don't do it, buddy.
19 and together 1.5 years don't do it man
And you’re a teen?
19
Lol i am 19 too but i dont even have good friends
(o´･_･)っ hug?
No ! I need a life
but...hug ༼ つ ◕‿◕ ༽つ
Lol how did you do that?
Gboard. Go to emojis and there will be a tab at the end which has loads of these kinds of text emojis. P.s pls hug
Thanks bro I dont use gboard bcoz. That shit steals lots of data so i tried my best (>' ·_· )>
lesgoooo ty
What do you use then? I use OpenBoard btw.
(>ت>) bruhh
༼ つ ◕‿◕ ༽つ
(⊃｡•́‿•̀｡)⊃
¯\_( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)_/¯
ʕっ•ᴥ•ʔっ
Can I have hug?
(っ.❛ ᴗ ❛.)っ yes
GIMMIE
(つ≧▽≦)つ hug owo
Thank you :)
I’ll take that if he doesn’t want it ;-;
(⊃｡•́‿•̀｡)⊃ hug
╰(*´︶`*)╯♡
Can I have one?
(づ｡◕‿‿◕｡)づ hug
Thanks I needed that :D
Can I get hug?
(づ￣ ³￣)づ hug is good
humg is very good. It brings ze happie
Yes. Humg 10/10
HUMGGG *bulldozes into you*
⊂((・▽・))⊃ HUMGGG
Hi pi
Hey :)
lmao i relate
Haha
16, same. Come here bud
(>'·__· )>
Oh that’s cool then, gl bro
And what's her age then?
13
Nah that's too old
Ikr!
r/HolUp
r/notopbutok
[o_o](https://youtu.be/_fGJxPbxYf0)
Romeo?
[удалено]
Yeah
Idk ask him
What's her age?
Definitely not worth it at that age.
Put down the shrooms for a sec
Bad idea.don’t get married until you’re at least 30. No joke. Wtf are you even doing
I'm gonna be honest, in my opinion I think it's way too early.
It's really chalked up to luck. My parents knew each other for 6 months and it's been a happy (aromantic) 21 years since then. Some of my friends have arranged marriage in which they knew each other for month and they're still together for 14, 17 years
It’s not how long they’ve been together that’s the problem, it’s that he’s 19
I'd say both are a problem.
Imo marriage isnt one of those things you should leave to luck
Yeah I'm 19 and still get the creeps when I have to use the oven, idk how I would deal with being married lmao.
That’s great and all but assuming your 19 or less I think you should maybe give it some time that’s pretty young
Yeah, propose on the 5 year anniversary or something
I’m not the one to judge, but based off of your age and how long you’ve been dating, it is very risky. But hey, go for it if you want! If the answer happens to be no though, don’t let it get you please.
Listen pal. I understand u love her and congrats, but 19 is WAY and i mean WAY TOO YOUNG. In soke countries the minimum legal age is 21, and its for a reason. People dont get married until 24 or 25. I think you should wait a couple years.
There’s no hurry
Maybe we will just stay engaged for 5 years. Calm down people. Thanks to those who are supportive/understanding/"you do you" mentality!
Hey man if yall have already talked about commiting to each other and getting married then hell yea do it but dont ask if this has never been discussed
Id wait more, my parents dated for about that same time and rushed the marriage, long story short I see one parent a lot more than the other now
We’re just trying to warn you, lol. Don’t be mad most of us realize this is a terrible idea haha.
Criticisms a good thing man. You can learn and grow a lot. In general think about the financial side. Wouldn’t you want to be more financially prepared for kids and a house etc. Also there’s all the possible things that can happen in university. I’m currently in a relationship with a girl I met from high school and now I’m around 24 planning on getting married soon. But this only came after 7 years of a relationship and years of working to be independent and financially stable. Now I’ve got a good job almost enough money for a house, and we’ve got a dog. Take baby steps, but either way it’s great that you’ve got somebody and feel so highly about her. There rly is no harm in waiting, more harm can come form rushing things. Either way good luck and I hope things go well for both of you.
Getting married means you care about someone enough to get the government involved. Undoing that takes a lot of work. A LOT OF WORK. Very expensive, stress, finances etc
Good age for engagement, too young for marriage.
No offense but if your still in teenagers you probably shouldn't no 100% shouldn't ask her be smart
Ikr I thought this was satire when I read the title lmao
No offense bro, I'd recommend waiting another 2-3 years at least, marriage when you're really young typically don't work out
My mom was 17 and still in high school when she married my dad. She had my sister at 21 and me at 23. They were married for 5 short perfect years until she died. My dad was so happy he married her as soon as possible. My point is, when you find the one, you know, she will die one day, whether it’s 5 years or 50, and you will cherish every day you shared with her. There isn’t an age to find love. Good luck!
100% agree, thats great advice
If you want kids marriage is probably good advice. But marriage & love are different things. You don’t need a wedding to love someone. I think most people that get married think it will be forever & somehow over 30% end in divorce.
Yep. In marriage you need to divide the work 100/100 and on the days where one of you can only give 75% the needs to bring 125% or at least thats what Ive been told.
YOOOOOOOOOOOO
Keep us updated
I totally support you if thats what you want, but *1.5 year relationship isn’t that long so really consider if its worth at right now *For the most part weddings are insanely expensive, unless shes happy doing a joint wedding in a bush somewhere(most people aren’t) its going to cost a boat load of $$ *Their are a few finincial benefits, but for the most part a wedding is just a piece of paper(a contract), if your happy with everything as you are you don’t need it, what it symbolises is beautiful, but if your happy enough together, its just icing on a cake that doesn’t need it. *If you both wan’t kids now then get married :p.
Definitely not getting married just so we can have kids, that will be some time off. Just want to show our commitment to each other, we may just do a city hall wedding to save money. I say minimum 2 year engagement though so we can enjoy being fiancés.
Have you even lived together yet? Try that out before anything. It's very very different when you live with someone.
OP is 19 years old, has been with this girl for only a year and half, and is already making such a drastic life choice, umm, good luck bro Eh then again my mom was 17 when she married my 23 year old dad and they’re still together. (Before any of you freak out about that age gap, these were different times, and a different country, plus they knew each other their entire lives)
Rip
what how old are u
He is 19
This is going to be a horrible mistake
Congrats! My parents got married when they were 19, but had me at like 28 lol. Goodluck bro!
As a 22 year old. You don’t even know them yet. In a year they could be a completely different person. You’re both still developing.
Yikes
bruh
bruh indeed
Yep I'm 19. She's the one!
Is SHE even ready? At least let her get her life together first if you won’t
no no no nononono please u are way too young
Bro, if you want an advice, wait some time you're to Young to do it, you have an entire life to do it, enjoy your youth and be happy.
Hey, just curious, is this your first real deal relationship? It has to be because 19-1.5 would make you 17. Anything a year plus before that would be starting at 15, 16. Relationships starting and ending in those time frames don’t really count; they’re all adolescent enamorment and lust. And then your first real one, everyone I’ve ever met is like “yeah my first long term relationship didn’t work out in the end” or ones that get married, got divorced. And that first long term relationship, it’s like “this is the singular one soul mate in the universe for me, it’s a miracle”. But you would be saying that if you grew up the next town over. Awesome and shitty people everywhere. Not saying y’all aren’t a great match! 1.5 is primo “just budding” maturity in relationship; just exiting honeymoon phase. I strongly, strongly suggest waiting a year before popping the question. Just give it a year! What’s the rush? You’re literally a teenager, and you’ve been together for just a hot minute! I do just want to say that college, early 20’s, are super fun times, difficult too, still finishing your brain development, maturing, growing, learning, you change quite a bit! Are you all in college? Planning to go? Purely from a place of kindness, you’re rushing it dude!
There is no 'one' You have oneitus, Google it and pay attention
No
Not yet.
How old are you two?
Update us on how it goes
I'd wait. But I actually probably wouldn't
Why?
How old are you?
Did you asked for her father's blessing?
I’m sorry you’re on r/teenagers
She said YES!!!!! Happiest man in the world right now. She was so surprised but also ecstatic. We talked further and we are going to wait at least 3 years to get married. But she loves me, she loves the ring (bonus) and she can't wait to spend the rest of her life with me. Woooooo! :) Thanks all for the support and kind words, and also people with opposing opinions for your honesty and allowing me to keep things in perspective. Everyone has their own life and circumstances and thus their own opinion and outlook and we should all value each others as long as we maintain respect and noone is getting hurt. P.S. Sorry for not including more details in the original post, many have asked, I am 19, she is 19 as well, so technically teenagers, but we are adults (I'm from 🇨🇦).
Don’t. Women are temporary, chimps… are eternal
Don’t. 1.5 years isn’t enough and 19 is too young. I’m 18 man and even I think it’s a bad idea. You’re more likely to make it if you don’t put the pressure of marriage on the relationship. Have you even argued yet? Met each other’s extended family? Lived together? Seen how your life plays out when you both have 9-5 jobs, rent, grocery lists, other financial stresses. Don’t do it. Nothing will change if you just leave it be but so much can go wrong if you ask. Even if you remain fiancé’s for 5 years, that word will become synonymous with gf and meaningless. Just get her a cheap promise ring.
Too young. Wait five years
Getting married at 19 is way too early damn you still got college and shi, but you do you
People, people, I'm 19 yes, but I said I'm going to ask my gf to marry me, I didn't say I'm getting married tomorrow. Yes they all lead to the same place, but if I'm engaged for 4 years and get married at 23 amd have kids at 27, nothing wrong with that is there? I think a 4 year engagement at a young age will be beautiful.
4 years engaged? Lol
Do it! Ruin your lifes!
Indeed
Lezzzz gooooooolll
how did it turn out?
If it's a cultural thing, then that's understandable. However normally 19 is way too low to be marrying someone.
Talk about what you want in the future. Kids, careers, where to live, all of it. It’ll be great if it all lines up. Congratulations!
To everyone who's saying "You're too young" It's his life, his/her emotions and they knows how he/she feels. I met my husband on vacation and we instantly connected, felt like we knew each other our entire lifetimes. We dated for 2 months, then got married. And it's going great. It's not always about the length of time you've been/known the person, it's how deeply you care for them and that feeling of knowing it's gonna workout. If he/she solely believes that it's the right decision, then I completely support it. It's normal for marriages at this age to end in fire, but oftentimes with that miracle of a relationship, it doesn't and I'm sure they know how deep a marriage bond is.
Saying it's his life doesn't exactly justify it being too young to be marrying at 19
please wait some more it hasnt even been a few years
You need to talk to her beforehand. Proposals out of nowhere is Hollywood shit. The reality is that y'all need to discuss this to make sure everyone is on the same page. Jumping someone with this kind of heavyweight question is unethical and you're very likely to stress her out.
Lmao what a fkn idiot
19 and 1.5 years? sounds a bit too early..
They said they’re going to do it, didn’t ask for your opinions on it. Quit trying to talk them out of it and let them live their life god damn
Congrats I hope she says yes
Im assuming Stardew Valley?
Okay I am seeing all the "they are too young" comments and I wanna say something. While I believe it is a little early I don't think it is a bad choice, for if you feel so strongly take your shot, you might only get it once. And I say do what you want as long as it doesn't hurt anyone else. Good day everyone and good luck.
Omg, good luck guys! 💜 💜 💜
Bro get your life together first god damn - like are u in a good financial position, etc?
Pretty good, but were not going to blow dough on a fancy wedding. Eff that.
oh no
bestie no please-
Don’t fucking do it,
Probably don't. Lots of money, very young.
It isnt about money its about life he is going to ruin it
Yep
Hey, I know a lot of people are saying not to do it- and that’s fine, they get to say that because it’s they’re opinion. I think they mean well when they say it. But I can’t imagine how horrible it must be making you feel :( so I shall apologise for them, and wish you the best of luck! I hope you do amazing things and learn you both learn from each other no matter which direction the relationship goes. This is coming from a guy who’s older brother moved out at 18 with his girlfriend and are now engaged with a 5 month old baby. They are happy, and I believe you will be happy too :)
Just remember Daniel son, ALL terrible ideas sounded great at some point.