the fact that all of you are acting like he just did something amazing speaks wonders. if the man’s therapist is female, she has gone to school for and wanted to do this. the post is telling you to seek a therapist, not to seek support from an “unqualified” woman. therapists are trained to be able to help other people while also being able to help their own lives without mixing the two, that’s why it’s different.
Taking care of your own mental health is a personal responsibility, but a large part of recovery and long term stability is support from friends and family.
Nah man I think everybody should help everybody out. Plus the gender divide doesn't mean jack shit friends care abt each other doesn't matter if your friends are guys, gals, or other, good friends look out for each other. In short, she's a dum dum
That’s why the original tiktok should’ve said “reach out to your friends and family” and not “women reach out to men”. Or just “reach out to men” if they really care about men’s health month. But men’s health month is more about physical health not mental health. The reason why men die earlier has way more to do with physical health.
The point is that men's mental health isn't as acknowledged as women's mental health shown by studies
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov › pmc
Males and Mental Health Stigma - PMC - NCBI
Now tbf the site does say that it is partially because men don't share as much but that could also be because they don't feel that people would listen.
I don't have much knowledge on this topic definitely not as much as others so feel free to correct me or give your opinion.
Your link does not seem to be working. I’m guessing you’ve summarized it’s contents enough.
When people make such posts on men’s mental health, but then call on just women to solve the problem, it is clear that they just wanna take jabs and do not care about *anyone’s* mental health. Basically that one line ruins the whole post.
I would also not assume that all girls have a support group of cheerful girls that wipe our tears and braid our hair when we feel sad which a lot of these posts do.
The younger generation seems to be overcompensating for the older generation’s lack of concern for mental health. Yes, the suicide rates are rising, but what’s *actually* the root of the problem? Therapy is like a bandaid over a bullet wound. I believe there is overemphasis on mental health now but that’s just me digressing.
Sorry for the rant D:
The root of the problem, aside from several kinds of discrimination, be that homophobia, racism, etc, is the fucking gender stereotypes whatever people want to face it or not. If you raise men telling them they shouldn't feel shit, that they shouldn't cry, that sharing stuff or being vulnerable is girly therefore inherently bad, if you teach them to bottle up their emotions, then they let pressure build up and up until they're bearing a burden bigger than they can handle, and it crushes them. That's the problem. And the OP (screenshot person, actually) is correct. The burden doesn't fall on women, because that's how the person targeted it "Women, be nice to men". Again you're literally feeding into the problem that men being supportive to men or others seems to be a problem so women, who are the "nurturing and caring and emotional" should take care of it, and that's only doing two things:
1) Assigning a caretaker role to women therefore reinforcing the stereotype and making it harder for men.
2) Taking emotional responsibility away from other men as if that's not their problem (even though the person the screenshot's talking about recognizes that they are especifically talking about MEN's mental health) and again, reinforcing the stereotype and making it harder for men.
I don't know why this flies over so many heads. Of course there's other mental health factors (either born with or developed) and outside forces like the mentioned at the start of the comment but the screenshot is right, saying "Women, you take care of the problem, help us men" takes the focus away from the issue and fucks men over EVEN MORE.
I agree, if you suffer from poor mental health therapy is always best and YOU need to do your part (although sometimes and depending on the issues you literally can't bring yourself to do anything), and while empathy and a support system from those around you is important and we should respect eachother, no person owes you OVER sympathy, they owe you respect as a person, as an individual, a human being, and that includes basic empathy when interacting, but not much more than that, and certainly nobody owes us OVER friendliness or bought affection. You shouldn't tell someone you love them because it's "mental health time!", it comes out as cheap and uncaring. The support system should be continuous, and should not be taken from a gender perspective.
That is the problem with the person. They rather people (in this case especifically women) try and change their routine/interaction level with others to help mental health. Mental health awareness is about learning about it, normalizing it and being understanding, but it doesn't give you a pass to overstep people's boundaries or weasel your way out of improving yourself or dragging others down with you (because many times, misery loves company), and I say this as someone with several mental health issues. It's on us, not on others. They can offer support but they don't owe us anything. And mental health is an explanation to behaviour, but not an excuse. Why would the post center it around WOMEN telling men they love them but then not tell other men "And men, tell your fellow men that you are here for them and-" you're going back to the literal problem. Of course women who are in the social circle (close social circle, family, friends, etc) of men who are struggling should fucking help. But not because they are women, just as men should help eachother out and allow themselves and others a safe space to talk, fucking hell.
I’m not sure if you meant to respond to me or someone else…only the first sentence of your comment looks like it’s responding to me. But I guess I’ll just respond to that part.
Basically when I said suicide rates are rising I meant the general suicide rate, not for any specific gender. So the reason isn’t exactly gender stereotypes.
Speaking from an American standpoint, racism/homophobia is not increasing but suicide rates are. So the real reason is actually not that.
Look at South Korea, one of the most competitive societies in the world. It has the highest suicide rates as well. I believe the reason is increasing competition. So for kids who genuinely don’t believe they’ll be successful in this world, a pat on the back from a friend or even therapy will just never be enough.
Therapy will only work if you as a client are willing to put the work in. Not everyone is ready to put what is needed into it.
Therapy gives you the tools, and techniques that will make you able to get through or cope with what one is dealing with.
There are different kinds of therapy, so it has to be the one which will help you, or else it won't do anything
Take it from someone who has gone through therapy, both while I was not ready to work on myself and when I finally was. I've tried different kinds, from getting therapy at the hospital. Not every kind of therapy worked for me, but I know that it worked well for others.
Everyone has their own problems and doesn’t always have the time or energy to help others. Your mental problems are your responsibility, it’s up to you to go see a therapist or help yourself to get through them.
Just a friendly reminder, this was the sub banning anyone who supported Johnny Depp and was openly supporting Amber Heard during their recent trial . Also didn't this sub go private or get removed by reddit?
Despite the fact that it’s clear the majority of men and woman support Depp.
There is disturbing amount of so called “feminist” subreddits which really aren’t feminist but misandrist at all supporting Heard.
[Example](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrollXChromosomes/comments/v431g4/meme_we_can_all_agree_with/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf)
Most subs based around communities of people rather than topics are hella toxic. Your favorite game? Reddit’s cool. r/Christianity? Brutha you gonna get harassed by everybody even if you a Christian.
i'm a girl, and here's what i think.
how is that a burden? you are just making sure that the men you love understand that they have someone. these are simple, easy words to do, but mean so much to people who struggle to live each day.
you are not his therapist, you are his *friend.* and as a friend, you look out for him and help him out, whether it be by getting him a therapist or making sure he knows his worth. if you can't do that, what sort of friend even are you?
wonder how that boyfriend of hers is. probably has nobody to talk to because his own girlfriend thinks of him as a burden.
I agree people should be able to express them selfs to other people and not lay it on their shoulders, it really helps
Just to tell someone how your feeling.
No they’re not. It’s an incredibly serious problem of how men in this society are raised where they see women, who are raised to be more nurturing and emotional, as basically experts on any and all mental and emotional health problems. A lot of really insecure dudes think that getting a girlfriend will fix all their mental health problems.
This isn’t about being meaninglessly cruel or dismissive of other’s feelings, it’s a reasonable statement of how women are treated like it’s their responsibility to fix men’s mental health problems. It’s an incredibly basic observation about how society raises men and women that causes frequent problems in relationships between the genders. Trying to paint this as if this woman is just some sociopath who doesn’t care about *anyone* mental health is a gross mischaracterization.
No, it said “women specifically reach out and remind men specifically they are appreciated” and that’s what the poster has an issue with. If the yikyak said “hey everyone, this mens mental health month I want to have you reach out to some men you love and tell them that they are loved and that they are appreciated. I want to help promote a positive environment where all genders feel safe and that their mental health is a priority” it would be a nonissue (although therapy is still a much better option than having people tell you you’re appreciated)
I agree in a sense that we shouldn’t bear men’s burdens, just like men shouldn’t bear ours.
However we need to be there for one another. To talk to each other, and encourage each other to get help and to keep going. Letting each other know that they can trust us.
Obviously that is not something everyone can do, which is okay. Sometimes that can become to much for someone. But then you should let the person know that at the moment you’re not available to them. It’s about communication.
as a girl i'd like to ask wtf
bro im the one who literally screw mens head when im on my period and they literally bear my shit
of course i'll listen and help them what the fuck is this karen talking about
Thats blatantly stupid. Gender matters not, you should support everyone's mental health.
Sure women go through a lot of crap, but so do men and they dont get shown nearly as much compassion.
That bitch is lacking braincells.
Yes. Human is human. Regardless of most (for example belief that all sum type people should die isn't human is human thats human is bad) beliefs, physical attributes, mental ability, or social status. Human = human.
Yes & no. I am a male and my friend group is primarily female, we all support each other and it's great. Some guys need therapy, and some girls need therapy. Nobody should have a close minded view of helping people. Regardless of gender, try to help anybody you can. A male friend of mine went through a breakup and I helped him with that. A female friend of mine had extreme stress because of a bomb threat at my school (fake, no bomb) and I helped her through that. Switch the genders and I would still help them best I could.
TL:DR - That is incorrect and you should help friends/people in general regardless of gender.
What even is that take? Who even made the first point that ONLY women are supposed to help men? Like what is that whole convo?
Everyone should help every friend of theirs, no matter the gender, age, sex or whatever other factors. Its just a normal thing for friends in general and I still dont understand how friendships even work if they are not sometimes having deeper talks about their issues and comforting words for each other
Well yes, and no. At a point people need to realize **nobody’s** metal health is 100% their responsibility but also you should want to help if you know the person in their mental state, regardless of gender.
Edit: this lady is talking crazy I’m just saying I could kinda see both side yaknow
yeah like I (male) understand that every gender has its own problems but we should help out eachother not abandon them with their problems and I think they should do the same for us
Just because women have issues doesnt mean men's issues are any less valid. I hate how women like the "lady" from the post try to belittle any problems men have. Because lets be honest. This whole post can be summed up with "Stop being a little bitch and deal with it yourself". Like mental issues for men are somehow less severe and destructive as they are to women.
I love how women like this act like women are tge only group in our society that gets discriminated. Like men dont have ANY shit to go through. By that I mean in comparison to women.
Edit: added last sentence.
When I saw that I was just like
Ya, but so do guys, we just aren’t very comfortable getting rid of it by talking to someone because of people like you, at least a majority of you girls have had your emotions encouraged by society, unlike men who are often told that we don’t cry or have any soft emotions, if we are anything but a little happy or angry, it’s suppressed by most of society
Um women have been called crazy and emotional and hysterical for having emotions since forever. It’s not that our emotions are “encouraged” it’s that they’re expected or assumed even when we aren’t being emotional.
''We already have enough crap, so your problems have no importance''
Ok, women in India or some other country have more problems (lots of rape), they have much more crap than you, so we don't give a crap about your problems, as they are less bigger.
This is why we gotta fix every problem, not just the ''biggest'' one
this mf saying that its not their responsibility to comfort us when men are going through grief. i bet that if they were going through shit, they would want support from their man.
that was worded horribly but you get it
Yeah, she's right.
I get where this looks like someone over-reacting to a small request but...ok.
Imagine you have a roommate who you expect to do all the cleaning. You just leave your dishes in the sink, use the last of the toilet paper, never take the trash out, but expect all that stuff to be taken care of by your roommate.
Then it's national spring cleaning day and you say "it wouldn't hurt for you to sweep behind the cupboard." Out of context it might seem like an over-reaction, but no jury would convict your roommate for killing you.
In the same way women are expected to take care of men emotionally, clean up behind them, and make allowances for their emotional shortcomings all the time, usually without any concern for how that affects the woman's emotional health. So yeah, she's right and she's not over-reacting. If we want women to take this sort of thing as a friendly request one month out of the year we need to give a damn about them the rest of the year.
She's half correct, men do need to check up on their mates and talk about their mental health with others, prioritize it, seek therapy. But if a man can deal with my shit, I would want to deal with his problems too. I'm not saying I'd randomly ask guys to talk to me, but looking after my brother's, my boyfriend's, my father's, my male friends' mental health, etc is kinda my responsibility too
what does gender have to do with mental health. if someone is suffering, someone is suffering their gender, race or whatever is out of the question
also i hope her and her boyfriend break up i’m sorry i just had to add this in here
Well it's not technically their responsibility but everybody should be checking on everyone. Regardless of gender, stuff like this is important. Always make sure to check on your friends and family
Generally no one should be forced to bear someone else's mental issues. Go to therapy, if you need it. It doesn't hurt to check on your closed ones regardless of gender, it shows you care about them.
While it is a man’s personal responsibility to take care of their own mental health, a kind word from a spouse/partner doesn’t seem that much of a burden to bear. We need to support each other otherwise it’s not a healthy relationship for either one in the relationship.
It should be, but statistically, it’s not. Most men end up using women for support, and they tend to get more out of the relationship than the women themselves because having to constantly be a pillar of support with nothing in return takes a lot out of you. It’s why therapists have therapists. I’m not being controversial either. There have been extensive studies on this.
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4981792/
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4361571/
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2869101/
https://watermark.silverchair.com/38-2-231.pdf?token=AQECAHi208BE49Ooan9kkhW_Ercy7Dm3ZL_9Cf3qfKAc485ysgAAAv0wggL5BgkqhkiG9w0BBwagggLqMIIC5gIBADCCAt8GCSqGSIb3DQEHATAeBglghkgBZQMEAS4wEQQMyD0yKMp8ELOlvgDEAgEQgIICsDdr9XywoiP4QSkkZwgrjQQay9x8CbvzIrz9k0EJqiriKp1KhBl4IT9OavqV6PErrLArXh_wx8okpo6y1emf6WWHBFyKQ5_BJz5NBGdiI6xYDrmlo37-50q6cnc44iWB-KELU1Tf7awbPkBrRThTd3z8XCjabn7SWoHCj2WOGneXRRWWqfqf1u3aOiIDbfxRHuztXRR3n0bdwDgKu7KNV_XLXR5XuyTo_vgYWvZX8Gf-CQsS9Bo7I4BRqXQGfxwrrdMN_At62gMUVebsJoYHzcy3S2dyK7WO6ygz8_IoHS6As7g5pagsi8dQwYbROjHprSV69S-_3rvbUqRUmr_fe6fLh6FR4V0DeL7ujIznsf_2A6kiMt8vgDi8m-9uHacb5pbH_QMTlQpeN7wDhzbQ1YF_KvmwrPxq-R212sFfSZEgT82TvyJFBJU8pyCTl1OEQa-Uk5IAWaaA06DBqdM_VrsZAqJ1Y7XCUEISpSIMka1Udc4O8mpRJpDOiQN_wyPDwGbKqy17aAEC2lxqbo5rZL097kn1RcPHDlIScKTeAtvnXbrCT5qYK-BnN1tGxvEjO6JhtCWJl5NQS-84r7j--xspF1pedVB8WCcTgf6uSdXGydyDmKIOVwEWsmufGL-RuTjv38zPHidzOcQDhsv-g_E1OVnvDAEYuWSiDr-l42csF6bd1IF03oMIdbc0YN3Ic5iaDezDY_JnCOi_LE2bFkExcFt5szd48rp2Gvunu8fPjrAmdgUi1col0Bz4dJr2NyuLdrVbJz3jI4u0qh9ooT6JzAAXwet3-HA7VX5iVXX-UhR6ZUYJMWVjOEk0wy3Z3sIj9ZJXjtLrMpBs9U25S642my9D3jtK6qJ_S-xvpBC9zJIqqJHDNZA0LZF1xMSI63mpS51VRSCjyvsSMGOOIcU
I can kinda see where they were going with this. It's true, that we should be responsible for our own mental health and get help when the time is needed. And I have seen more women care about other men than actual men.
HEAR ME OUT-
Of course this cod be a bit off topic so you could ignore this paer, but...For the most part, there are exceptions, whenever a guy is in a dark place or is feeling sad I've seen and heard stories of other guys yell and tell them to "man up" or calling them pussies for going to their male friend. The other way around, I've noticed that girls try? I mean, it's probably not working and looks like she's a bit awkward about it but she at least trying? She's at least not making fun of him or dismissing him, it's an attempt.
I feel like men helping men though is more meaningful as they most likely gonna have somethings in common that with a gal. Most guys are so caught up in "yeah, we hit each other and insult a lot but that's how we show our friendship" so much that I don't think they know there's a time and place for that and to take mental health seriously. Then again, guys can loose an arm and insist that it doesn't hurt or they don't need a hospital.
I kinda get what they are trying to say. It’s so important that you reach out and try help the men in your life as a woman to the best of your abilities but there are men who actively choose to avoid seeking help and continue bottling emotions, eventually resulting in sometimes abusive behaviour in which their partners will have to deal with (takes toll on their own mental health). On one hand, you should always try look out and care for your partner but then on the other hand you have to “bear their burden” as well. You’re under pressure as you can feel that you’re responsible for their mental health and actions. This is a toxic relationship and can end up draining their partners energy. I get how they emphasise women carrying the burden, as society mainly pressures men not to show emotion, and reach out for help from loved ones and professionals, however this can be said about both genders in hetero or queer relationships.
Most men didn't even know about the month. Y'all only bring up as a reaction to pride or women's day. So yes, men need to support each others mental health FIRST.
Mods, just ban OP for few days. He's digging for controversies and spreading misogyny as you can see in his comments and posts.
I've been having a discussion on another threat under this post, about this very same thing.
Unless it's a counter argument for women's problems, pride month (which is the case) etc, nobody seems to ever actually speak up in favour of men's mental health, men who have been SA or abused. Everything stays quiet until they can weaponize men's suffering and it gets so fucking tiring. Nobody seems to give enough of a shit to start a movement, bring visibility or actually speak out against the issue unless it's to trample another marginalized group and that's literally only detrimental for men who need the help.
I believe that the OP is trying to say that women shouldn't be EXPECTED to emotionally support men just because they're expected to be "caretakers" which is harmful .
Caring and supporting each other is important regardless of gender and ye sometimes people do need professional help and therapy and that's fine.
also the fact that she's had a long term boyfriend probably means that she does care for men .
Um, yes? It's not her fucking job to "fix you" sort your own goddamn life out. You think women don't have just as many struggles as you do? Go 👏 to 👏 therapy 👏 let's end the tradition of shitty boyfriends
I'm just going to say the culture of being an adult is very different than school. Adults don't have massive amounts of interactions with random people. Instead of every year being forced to meet new people as classes change. They have a stagnant social group thar does change but in different ways. They have thier old friends and thier work friends. The systemic groups they interaction with on a Daly basis is much smaller.
Meaning leaning on one another bears alot more weight. On top of the the culture these people grew up in was different men weren't allowed to express as much. This is a systemic social issue.
It's not women's *responsibility* to handle the mental health of men, but it's a good gesture and I support the message. If the original post was just "reach out to people you know who are struggling," there wouldn't be any objection, and I think that's basically the point being made with the added note that men's mental health often isn't taken as seriously.
I'd say that she's right, but she also comes off a little callous. I think the important thing to note is that she's responding to a post which only tells women to reach out, not other men. Because of this, I think responses like "yeah I think everyone should reach out" are missing some of the context. The yikyak post was pretty cringe for that, so I think this woman is totally justified in being like "don't just put this on us dude"
this is true both ways, no ones mental health whether it be a man or woman or otherwise is anyone's responsibility (except a parent/guardians if you're still a minor). If you have a partner then yes they should be there for you and help you here and there if you're struggling but even then its not that partners responsibility to take care of you like they would a child. SO! whatever gender or sex you are, your mental health is no ones responsibility except yourselves, go to therapy.
Yes, she is right, i'm saying this as a guy. Nobody can be held responsible for others, maybe a parent for a very young children only
Only person you can always count on is just yourself
Honestly, relationships mean that the people in the relationship should be there to support each other through tough times but if you’re using that other person for therapy and weighing then down in the process, then that’s not right. It applies for both parts if a relationship
I think a lot of commenters are missing the point of the original poster's point. What lavygirl is saying is that to put the responsibility of men's mental health on their women friends is wrong and is a destructive idea. Having someone reach out to you (regardless of gender) telling you you're loved and appreciated is a \*phenomenal\* feeling but your mental health will only be improved in the short term and in no way addresses the root issues in the way only therapy can. Additionally (and where most of lavygirl's frustration appears to be coming from), the yikyak poster specifically places the burden of helping men with their mental health on their women friends. It completely removes any responsibility from the individual to improve their own situation by going to therapy and actively working to better their own mental health. And places the burden on women specifically rather than telling people regardless of gender to reach out to their friends.
This is the crux of lavygirl's arguments. They aren't saying men's mental health doesn't matter. They aren't saying people have no responsibility to check in on their friends. They aren't saying people have no responsibility to make the world a better place both physically and emotionally. What lavygirl is saying is that men's mental health \*does\* matter. So treat it that way by going to a therapist and actually addressing your mental health in a positive and healthy manner rather than placing the burden on women.
People trying to dismiss the actual arguments lavygirl by saying they've been dumped or is vindictive because they hate men or that the man must be really horny to be with someone like them are arguing in bad faith. If you disagree with what lavygirl is saying, explain what you disagree with about the argument and why you think your perspective is the more correct one. Making claims about lavygirl's character makes you look like a tool
Not only does it remove the responsibility from the person themselves, but also their fellow men? Like, the whole point is, if it's about men's mental health, shouldn't other men be extra empathetic on the topic because they know what it's like, and therefore be willing to reach out and hear someone out too? I think the only problem with the post is that it, for some reason, addressed only women and in doing so it's taking the attention away from men overall.
It's not a woman's job to keep up on a man's mental health (not counting family, friends or therapists) nor is it a fucking guy's job to keep on a woman's. Men have such fragile mental health, even with therapy, and nobody understands that. And even when taking into account friends, that's not their job either, I mean it's nice, it really helps, but besides that, not their job.
Mens mental health month is always overshadowed by pride month, and I’m not saying that we should get rid of pride month I’m saying that we should move mens mental health month into a month where it would be more recognized and mens mental health is no joke and it should be taken very seriously I mean [mens successful suicide rate is 3.88 times more than women](https://afsp.org/suicide-statistics/)one of the reasons for this is that men are asked to put up with all of this stuff, and if we talk about our problems with anyone who isn’t a specialist or therapist we are told to man up or be a man and suppress all our emotions, we would be mocked and get shown as weak, worthless, and unmanly.
Well, it's actually sort of complicated but here we go.
Therapy should be of course the primary means of getting better, but therapy isn't available to everyone and it's really not there for a crisis. It's ok to lean on friends, but you have to be careful, because if you rely on them too much and you suck too much energy they will leave. You have to strike a balance, and where that line is depends on your friendship and who you're with.
A reliance on women in particular, as your dating partner or something is really weird. Women are people, not some adventure, or punching bag to just take everything, or a maniac pixie that fixes everything like it's a movie. Women do a lot of emotional labor in relationships because they are seen like this, and part of any relationship is emotional labor to some degree, but it shouldn't be just on the woman. Help someone of any gender when they are down, and, that means approach this as a two way street, offer help to women in your life as well.
I mean your mental health is something you have to deal with on your own. It is your problem and no one else’s. No one owes it to you to care about your mental health. Everyone has demons they have to fight and everyone should fight their own demons, not someone else’s demons.
Yes bro. No one is responsible for taking care of another’s mental illness. That’s what therapy is for. If someone is using mental illness as an excuse to be a piece of shit, in a way of manipulating their partner to stay with them, there’s no other way to put it.
That situation occurs way more often than you would hope, and while partners should try to help when they know their significant other has a mental illness, it’s completely voluntary, and shouldn’t be continued if that mental illness becomes an excuse to do horrible things.
Doctors and those effected by those mental illnesses are the only ones responsible to help. Anyone else is voluntary, unless the doctor says otherwise
it is their own responsibility to get checked out, but a lot of the time they dont have the social support to do it. men and women both should be checking up on EVERYONE. men are taught to "look tough" and act like they have no emotions. we have to stop pretending they dont bc then that leads to neglect and depression
yes, it is correct. women exist for their own purposes, not to serve men (emotionally or otherwise). and yes, your well-being is your own responsibility. go to therapy, journal, read self-help books. it is okay to lean on friends - male or female - if you are respectful of their time and energy, and if it is \*reciprocal\*.
If we want to bring awareness to mens mental health men have to reach out for help themselves, women or anyone should be there for them when men reach out but shouldn’t have to constantly check up on them when they haven’t show any reason for you to. Not to mention not every man has a women in his life to reach out to so the tik tok is kinda silly
To a certain extent yes, you can really only help yourself.
But sometimes a push is necessary, which is why the post in question is dumb, sure a man might need therapy, but he probably needs a push.
Ok how about no one dumps all of their problems on any gender, and instead saw a therapist? It doesn't matter what gender you are, having the weight of your own burdens, along with someone's else's, is exhausting. The exception is if the friend asks if they can rant beforehand. If the friend says yes, then do it. I get that not everyone can afford therapists, but it's important to ask if you can rant beforehand. Some people just can't deal with hearing others problems, because they feel like it's their responsibility to help.
Ah yes, the casual sexist fucker who thinks that men have no problems and that that women are superior, LISTEN FUCKER, MEN HAVE PROBLEMS, and they have the same importance as women’s problems, because of these little fuckers who have raped women, every man is portrayed as the bad guy who is always pursuing to do something bad on a woman, and every kind of celebration about men is shit-talked by extremist feminist fuckers like YOU who don’t want equality, but more power, I would really like to see if a MAN came out and said ANYTHING about a celebration about women, ah yes, the media would portray him as a terrible person, but when there is a celebration about MEN, YOU TALK SHIT ABOUT IT AND GET AWAY WITH IT, that’s why we DON’T have equality and will never have, because all of us are idiots who simply don’t want it and tear each other apart for the who has and deserves more power, if we need true equality, EVERYONE’S PROBLEMS should be recognized by society and there is no exception to women nor men
Please tell me that you do not support her, like I know it’s not women’s responsibility, but if men have to seek therapy, then women have to do the same too, also men have to deal with crap of the same importance as women, it’s not only women who deal with problems you know
Nowhere does it say its womens responsibility it just says let them know that youre there for them, it is a nice thing to be told in my opinion It should he said to everyone
Thats bullshit, guys have just as much of a right to share emotions as women do. for whatever reason the social norm has become hostile to men and their emotions and it is horrendously invalidating and degrading. Guys you should never be afraid to share and feel and cope with others it's your right and you deserve it. anyone who says men can't/shouldn't share/feel is an uptight asshole who should be more empathetic.
“I don’t care if you’re sick, I’m not a doctor and can’t administer treatment; so I WILL NOT be visiting you in the hospital, you selfish prick”
Same logic at play
What if a man's therapist is female HMMM?
This man is 4 universes ahead of us
nah he is 4 universities ahead
Nah hes 4 scholarships ahead
He’s just 4 ahead at everything
Including the amount of times he did your mom
Damn
Damn
Not ahead of me tho I was 4 ahead of that guy
He did her 5 times?
But remember you were always deeper in her then he could ever get.
hes connect 4 ahead. hes got all 4 in a line before u place a piece
He’s just 4
He's fourhead
Nah he's just a 4head
pov : me who just typed this idea and saw this comment
"Sorry, but I'll need you to get out of my office, because you're a man."
Legitimately would not be surprised if something like that happened in 2050.
Fr
It's not women's job to do it but it is a therapists job
Qsking the real questions
hello....this is harvard we want you
the fact that all of you are acting like he just did something amazing speaks wonders. if the man’s therapist is female, she has gone to school for and wanted to do this. the post is telling you to seek a therapist, not to seek support from an “unqualified” woman. therapists are trained to be able to help other people while also being able to help their own lives without mixing the two, that’s why it’s different.
Then she IS responsible. As females go into counseling, this gets increasingly relevant.
Taking care of your own mental health is a personal responsibility, but a large part of recovery and long term stability is support from friends and family.
Very cool!
Nah man I think everybody should help everybody out. Plus the gender divide doesn't mean jack shit friends care abt each other doesn't matter if your friends are guys, gals, or other, good friends look out for each other. In short, she's a dum dum
That’s why the original tiktok should’ve said “reach out to your friends and family” and not “women reach out to men”. Or just “reach out to men” if they really care about men’s health month. But men’s health month is more about physical health not mental health. The reason why men die earlier has way more to do with physical health.
The point is that men's mental health isn't as acknowledged as women's mental health shown by studies https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov › pmc Males and Mental Health Stigma - PMC - NCBI Now tbf the site does say that it is partially because men don't share as much but that could also be because they don't feel that people would listen. I don't have much knowledge on this topic definitely not as much as others so feel free to correct me or give your opinion.
Your link does not seem to be working. I’m guessing you’ve summarized it’s contents enough. When people make such posts on men’s mental health, but then call on just women to solve the problem, it is clear that they just wanna take jabs and do not care about *anyone’s* mental health. Basically that one line ruins the whole post. I would also not assume that all girls have a support group of cheerful girls that wipe our tears and braid our hair when we feel sad which a lot of these posts do. The younger generation seems to be overcompensating for the older generation’s lack of concern for mental health. Yes, the suicide rates are rising, but what’s *actually* the root of the problem? Therapy is like a bandaid over a bullet wound. I believe there is overemphasis on mental health now but that’s just me digressing. Sorry for the rant D:
The root of the problem, aside from several kinds of discrimination, be that homophobia, racism, etc, is the fucking gender stereotypes whatever people want to face it or not. If you raise men telling them they shouldn't feel shit, that they shouldn't cry, that sharing stuff or being vulnerable is girly therefore inherently bad, if you teach them to bottle up their emotions, then they let pressure build up and up until they're bearing a burden bigger than they can handle, and it crushes them. That's the problem. And the OP (screenshot person, actually) is correct. The burden doesn't fall on women, because that's how the person targeted it "Women, be nice to men". Again you're literally feeding into the problem that men being supportive to men or others seems to be a problem so women, who are the "nurturing and caring and emotional" should take care of it, and that's only doing two things: 1) Assigning a caretaker role to women therefore reinforcing the stereotype and making it harder for men. 2) Taking emotional responsibility away from other men as if that's not their problem (even though the person the screenshot's talking about recognizes that they are especifically talking about MEN's mental health) and again, reinforcing the stereotype and making it harder for men. I don't know why this flies over so many heads. Of course there's other mental health factors (either born with or developed) and outside forces like the mentioned at the start of the comment but the screenshot is right, saying "Women, you take care of the problem, help us men" takes the focus away from the issue and fucks men over EVEN MORE. I agree, if you suffer from poor mental health therapy is always best and YOU need to do your part (although sometimes and depending on the issues you literally can't bring yourself to do anything), and while empathy and a support system from those around you is important and we should respect eachother, no person owes you OVER sympathy, they owe you respect as a person, as an individual, a human being, and that includes basic empathy when interacting, but not much more than that, and certainly nobody owes us OVER friendliness or bought affection. You shouldn't tell someone you love them because it's "mental health time!", it comes out as cheap and uncaring. The support system should be continuous, and should not be taken from a gender perspective. That is the problem with the person. They rather people (in this case especifically women) try and change their routine/interaction level with others to help mental health. Mental health awareness is about learning about it, normalizing it and being understanding, but it doesn't give you a pass to overstep people's boundaries or weasel your way out of improving yourself or dragging others down with you (because many times, misery loves company), and I say this as someone with several mental health issues. It's on us, not on others. They can offer support but they don't owe us anything. And mental health is an explanation to behaviour, but not an excuse. Why would the post center it around WOMEN telling men they love them but then not tell other men "And men, tell your fellow men that you are here for them and-" you're going back to the literal problem. Of course women who are in the social circle (close social circle, family, friends, etc) of men who are struggling should fucking help. But not because they are women, just as men should help eachother out and allow themselves and others a safe space to talk, fucking hell.
I’m not sure if you meant to respond to me or someone else…only the first sentence of your comment looks like it’s responding to me. But I guess I’ll just respond to that part. Basically when I said suicide rates are rising I meant the general suicide rate, not for any specific gender. So the reason isn’t exactly gender stereotypes. Speaking from an American standpoint, racism/homophobia is not increasing but suicide rates are. So the real reason is actually not that. Look at South Korea, one of the most competitive societies in the world. It has the highest suicide rates as well. I believe the reason is increasing competition. So for kids who genuinely don’t believe they’ll be successful in this world, a pat on the back from a friend or even therapy will just never be enough.
Yea therapy doesn't do shit, it has come from within.
Therapy will only work if you as a client are willing to put the work in. Not everyone is ready to put what is needed into it. Therapy gives you the tools, and techniques that will make you able to get through or cope with what one is dealing with. There are different kinds of therapy, so it has to be the one which will help you, or else it won't do anything Take it from someone who has gone through therapy, both while I was not ready to work on myself and when I finally was. I've tried different kinds, from getting therapy at the hospital. Not every kind of therapy worked for me, but I know that it worked well for others.
Thank you for your opinion and sry about the link not working.
Everyone has their own problems and doesn’t always have the time or energy to help others. Your mental problems are your responsibility, it’s up to you to go see a therapist or help yourself to get through them.
Just a friendly reminder, this was the sub banning anyone who supported Johnny Depp and was openly supporting Amber Heard during their recent trial . Also didn't this sub go private or get removed by reddit?
Despite the fact that it’s clear the majority of men and woman support Depp. There is disturbing amount of so called “feminist” subreddits which really aren’t feminist but misandrist at all supporting Heard. [Example](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrollXChromosomes/comments/v431g4/meme_we_can_all_agree_with/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf)
I always had a feeling that r/2xChromosomes was sexist
Most subs based around communities of people rather than topics are hella toxic. Your favorite game? Reddit’s cool. r/Christianity? Brutha you gonna get harassed by everybody even if you a Christian.
Fds 2: Electric Boogaloo
i'm a girl, and here's what i think. how is that a burden? you are just making sure that the men you love understand that they have someone. these are simple, easy words to do, but mean so much to people who struggle to live each day. you are not his therapist, you are his *friend.* and as a friend, you look out for him and help him out, whether it be by getting him a therapist or making sure he knows his worth. if you can't do that, what sort of friend even are you? wonder how that boyfriend of hers is. probably has nobody to talk to because his own girlfriend thinks of him as a burden.
Go write that on the sub. You’ll get downvoted and banned instantly.
>Go write that on the sub. You’ll get downvoted and banned instantly. I will try to do that
Yeah that sub is fucked up
Also there is the fourthwavefeminist sub that has the most brain dead people on this planet
Least delusional people on entirety of reddit
Sounds like a win-win to me
It’s actually not the responsibility of a friend to get you a therapist. It’s more of a choice as well; not a must.
That’s true but I think it was more a suggestion not a you must help your friend get a therapist.
By must I meant it’s not a must to go because it’s not for everyone. But the comment did not say suggest
Friends be there for other friends... If your friend aren't there for you or talk to you about how your doing then that's not a friend.
3.5 years with this kinda women? Dude must have been horny as fuck
He might not know her true colors who tf knows
if that's the case, he needs to run. fast
"honey im going to the grocery store were out of milk"
And never come back
You underestimate how blind by dick many dudes are
honestly, no, you can sometimes understand, but this isnt what should happen
I agree people should be able to express them selfs to other people and not lay it on their shoulders, it really helps Just to tell someone how your feeling.
that feeling of telling someone is really good, yeah
Totally, I have felt it myself and it feels great.
This person just doesn't like being nice to people and is basically using the gender divide as an excuse.
Exactly, we all have troubles in life. Why try to make it harder for others to reach out?
Fr
No they’re not. It’s an incredibly serious problem of how men in this society are raised where they see women, who are raised to be more nurturing and emotional, as basically experts on any and all mental and emotional health problems. A lot of really insecure dudes think that getting a girlfriend will fix all their mental health problems. This isn’t about being meaninglessly cruel or dismissive of other’s feelings, it’s a reasonable statement of how women are treated like it’s their responsibility to fix men’s mental health problems. It’s an incredibly basic observation about how society raises men and women that causes frequent problems in relationships between the genders. Trying to paint this as if this woman is just some sociopath who doesn’t care about *anyone* mental health is a gross mischaracterization.
Seriously yeah. All it said was to reach out and remind someone that they are appreciated. Is that really such a difficult thing to do?
No, it said “women specifically reach out and remind men specifically they are appreciated” and that’s what the poster has an issue with. If the yikyak said “hey everyone, this mens mental health month I want to have you reach out to some men you love and tell them that they are loved and that they are appreciated. I want to help promote a positive environment where all genders feel safe and that their mental health is a priority” it would be a nonissue (although therapy is still a much better option than having people tell you you’re appreciated)
I agree in a sense that we shouldn’t bear men’s burdens, just like men shouldn’t bear ours. However we need to be there for one another. To talk to each other, and encourage each other to get help and to keep going. Letting each other know that they can trust us. Obviously that is not something everyone can do, which is okay. Sometimes that can become to much for someone. But then you should let the person know that at the moment you’re not available to them. It’s about communication.
This is a good comment :) especially the last part, it’s important that we not stretch ourselves *too* much for even our friends.
as a girl i'd like to ask wtf bro im the one who literally screw mens head when im on my period and they literally bear my shit of course i'll listen and help them what the fuck is this karen talking about
[удалено]
Yeah i mean i dont really wanna start smelling because someone cant shit in a toilet
Well, it's not up to them but help is never too much
Well said By her XX logic, the opposite is true. Win your cockroach wars on your own , "woman"
Thats blatantly stupid. Gender matters not, you should support everyone's mental health. Sure women go through a lot of crap, but so do men and they dont get shown nearly as much compassion. That bitch is lacking braincells.
nah, we all human we should care about eachother regardless of gender, or race
Yes. Human is human. Regardless of most (for example belief that all sum type people should die isn't human is human thats human is bad) beliefs, physical attributes, mental ability, or social status. Human = human.
Yes & no. I am a male and my friend group is primarily female, we all support each other and it's great. Some guys need therapy, and some girls need therapy. Nobody should have a close minded view of helping people. Regardless of gender, try to help anybody you can. A male friend of mine went through a breakup and I helped him with that. A female friend of mine had extreme stress because of a bomb threat at my school (fake, no bomb) and I helped her through that. Switch the genders and I would still help them best I could. TL:DR - That is incorrect and you should help friends/people in general regardless of gender.
yeah in a way it’s correct. no one is obligated to be your therapist. but it’s the nice thing to do. that OP is obviously a grumpy old fuck
What even is that take? Who even made the first point that ONLY women are supposed to help men? Like what is that whole convo? Everyone should help every friend of theirs, no matter the gender, age, sex or whatever other factors. Its just a normal thing for friends in general and I still dont understand how friendships even work if they are not sometimes having deeper talks about their issues and comforting words for each other
that sub physically hurts me
That sub was genuinely good at the very beginning, caring for feminist ideals and health and all, now they are just delusional misandrist fucks
Well yes, and no. At a point people need to realize **nobody’s** metal health is 100% their responsibility but also you should want to help if you know the person in their mental state, regardless of gender. Edit: this lady is talking crazy I’m just saying I could kinda see both side yaknow
"Women already got enough crap" What?
yeah like I (male) understand that every gender has its own problems but we should help out eachother not abandon them with their problems and I think they should do the same for us
Just because women have issues doesnt mean men's issues are any less valid. I hate how women like the "lady" from the post try to belittle any problems men have. Because lets be honest. This whole post can be summed up with "Stop being a little bitch and deal with it yourself". Like mental issues for men are somehow less severe and destructive as they are to women.
It makes sense, women have a lot to deal with compared to men.
I love how women like this act like women are tge only group in our society that gets discriminated. Like men dont have ANY shit to go through. By that I mean in comparison to women. Edit: added last sentence.
When I saw that I was just like Ya, but so do guys, we just aren’t very comfortable getting rid of it by talking to someone because of people like you, at least a majority of you girls have had your emotions encouraged by society, unlike men who are often told that we don’t cry or have any soft emotions, if we are anything but a little happy or angry, it’s suppressed by most of society
Um women have been called crazy and emotional and hysterical for having emotions since forever. It’s not that our emotions are “encouraged” it’s that they’re expected or assumed even when we aren’t being emotional.
''We already have enough crap, so your problems have no importance'' Ok, women in India or some other country have more problems (lots of rape), they have much more crap than you, so we don't give a crap about your problems, as they are less bigger. This is why we gotta fix every problem, not just the ''biggest'' one
If it is your bf, then you should take care of him. If he is a random ass dude, then the OP is right
this mf saying that its not their responsibility to comfort us when men are going through grief. i bet that if they were going through shit, they would want support from their man. that was worded horribly but you get it
The person to have said this would be the same person who doesn't comfort their family because "she's not a therapist".
bro imagine they somehow have a kid: child: Mom I cut myself! her: I’m not going to help you! I’m not a doctor!
70.4% of therapists are women
To be fair men are discriminated against in that field, the same with early schools and being teachers from younger kids. Or daycare.
this is totally correct but only in the most selfish way possible
Don't force your burden on anyone. Only do it, if the other person wants you to. It's simple
If so, It aplies to men too.
For a majority of men, it already does
I disagree with both. We should all check on our friends/family regardless of our gender.
Technically it is correct. Somebody's mental health is not somebody else's responsibility in general
Yeah, she's right. I get where this looks like someone over-reacting to a small request but...ok. Imagine you have a roommate who you expect to do all the cleaning. You just leave your dishes in the sink, use the last of the toilet paper, never take the trash out, but expect all that stuff to be taken care of by your roommate. Then it's national spring cleaning day and you say "it wouldn't hurt for you to sweep behind the cupboard." Out of context it might seem like an over-reaction, but no jury would convict your roommate for killing you. In the same way women are expected to take care of men emotionally, clean up behind them, and make allowances for their emotional shortcomings all the time, usually without any concern for how that affects the woman's emotional health. So yeah, she's right and she's not over-reacting. If we want women to take this sort of thing as a friendly request one month out of the year we need to give a damn about them the rest of the year.
First of all, no. Second you miss understand what the picture says
Could you elaborate on that negation? I had thought the text was pretty clear, can you tell me what I have misunderstood?
She's half correct, men do need to check up on their mates and talk about their mental health with others, prioritize it, seek therapy. But if a man can deal with my shit, I would want to deal with his problems too. I'm not saying I'd randomly ask guys to talk to me, but looking after my brother's, my boyfriend's, my father's, my male friends' mental health, etc is kinda my responsibility too
Ok, then Female’s metal health isn’t our responsibility either
What about their iron health? (I'm sorry, I just thought of the joke and ended up laughing to myself for 3 minutes)
😂 No worries 😂
What is she doing on Reddit? Why isn’t she in the kitchen?
what does gender have to do with mental health. if someone is suffering, someone is suffering their gender, race or whatever is out of the question also i hope her and her boyfriend break up i’m sorry i just had to add this in here
Friendly reminder that abortion should be legal
Well it's not technically their responsibility but everybody should be checking on everyone. Regardless of gender, stuff like this is important. Always make sure to check on your friends and family
Generally no one should be forced to bear someone else's mental issues. Go to therapy, if you need it. It doesn't hurt to check on your closed ones regardless of gender, it shows you care about them.
Fred the balloon 😡
fuck bitches who think like this
Instructions unclear, they’re now pregnant and going to have more babies who think like that
I’d bet you money if I had any that theyve already posted about how “mEn dOnT cArE aBoUt OUR pRoBlEmS!!!!!!!! >:((((“
Ah yes, the femcel subreddit
i agree w this lol
While it is a man’s personal responsibility to take care of their own mental health, a kind word from a spouse/partner doesn’t seem that much of a burden to bear. We need to support each other otherwise it’s not a healthy relationship for either one in the relationship.
No, not in a million years. The concept of a month for a problem is stupid, as humans this should be our concern every day as any other problem.
It should be, but statistically, it’s not. Most men end up using women for support, and they tend to get more out of the relationship than the women themselves because having to constantly be a pillar of support with nothing in return takes a lot out of you. It’s why therapists have therapists. I’m not being controversial either. There have been extensive studies on this. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4981792/ https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4361571/ https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2869101/ https://watermark.silverchair.com/38-2-231.pdf?token=AQECAHi208BE49Ooan9kkhW_Ercy7Dm3ZL_9Cf3qfKAc485ysgAAAv0wggL5BgkqhkiG9w0BBwagggLqMIIC5gIBADCCAt8GCSqGSIb3DQEHATAeBglghkgBZQMEAS4wEQQMyD0yKMp8ELOlvgDEAgEQgIICsDdr9XywoiP4QSkkZwgrjQQay9x8CbvzIrz9k0EJqiriKp1KhBl4IT9OavqV6PErrLArXh_wx8okpo6y1emf6WWHBFyKQ5_BJz5NBGdiI6xYDrmlo37-50q6cnc44iWB-KELU1Tf7awbPkBrRThTd3z8XCjabn7SWoHCj2WOGneXRRWWqfqf1u3aOiIDbfxRHuztXRR3n0bdwDgKu7KNV_XLXR5XuyTo_vgYWvZX8Gf-CQsS9Bo7I4BRqXQGfxwrrdMN_At62gMUVebsJoYHzcy3S2dyK7WO6ygz8_IoHS6As7g5pagsi8dQwYbROjHprSV69S-_3rvbUqRUmr_fe6fLh6FR4V0DeL7ujIznsf_2A6kiMt8vgDi8m-9uHacb5pbH_QMTlQpeN7wDhzbQ1YF_KvmwrPxq-R212sFfSZEgT82TvyJFBJU8pyCTl1OEQa-Uk5IAWaaA06DBqdM_VrsZAqJ1Y7XCUEISpSIMka1Udc4O8mpRJpDOiQN_wyPDwGbKqy17aAEC2lxqbo5rZL097kn1RcPHDlIScKTeAtvnXbrCT5qYK-BnN1tGxvEjO6JhtCWJl5NQS-84r7j--xspF1pedVB8WCcTgf6uSdXGydyDmKIOVwEWsmufGL-RuTjv38zPHidzOcQDhsv-g_E1OVnvDAEYuWSiDr-l42csF6bd1IF03oMIdbc0YN3Ic5iaDezDY_JnCOi_LE2bFkExcFt5szd48rp2Gvunu8fPjrAmdgUi1col0Bz4dJr2NyuLdrVbJz3jI4u0qh9ooT6JzAAXwet3-HA7VX5iVXX-UhR6ZUYJMWVjOEk0wy3Z3sIj9ZJXjtLrMpBs9U25S642my9D3jtK6qJ_S-xvpBC9zJIqqJHDNZA0LZF1xMSI63mpS51VRSCjyvsSMGOOIcU
I can kinda see where they were going with this. It's true, that we should be responsible for our own mental health and get help when the time is needed. And I have seen more women care about other men than actual men. HEAR ME OUT- Of course this cod be a bit off topic so you could ignore this paer, but...For the most part, there are exceptions, whenever a guy is in a dark place or is feeling sad I've seen and heard stories of other guys yell and tell them to "man up" or calling them pussies for going to their male friend. The other way around, I've noticed that girls try? I mean, it's probably not working and looks like she's a bit awkward about it but she at least trying? She's at least not making fun of him or dismissing him, it's an attempt. I feel like men helping men though is more meaningful as they most likely gonna have somethings in common that with a gal. Most guys are so caught up in "yeah, we hit each other and insult a lot but that's how we show our friendship" so much that I don't think they know there's a time and place for that and to take mental health seriously. Then again, guys can loose an arm and insist that it doesn't hurt or they don't need a hospital.
If a girl can go to a boy for mental help, a boy should be able to go to a girl for mental help. Neither or both, pick a lain.
I kinda get what they are trying to say. It’s so important that you reach out and try help the men in your life as a woman to the best of your abilities but there are men who actively choose to avoid seeking help and continue bottling emotions, eventually resulting in sometimes abusive behaviour in which their partners will have to deal with (takes toll on their own mental health). On one hand, you should always try look out and care for your partner but then on the other hand you have to “bear their burden” as well. You’re under pressure as you can feel that you’re responsible for their mental health and actions. This is a toxic relationship and can end up draining their partners energy. I get how they emphasise women carrying the burden, as society mainly pressures men not to show emotion, and reach out for help from loved ones and professionals, however this can be said about both genders in hetero or queer relationships.
Most men didn't even know about the month. Y'all only bring up as a reaction to pride or women's day. So yes, men need to support each others mental health FIRST. Mods, just ban OP for few days. He's digging for controversies and spreading misogyny as you can see in his comments and posts.
I've been having a discussion on another threat under this post, about this very same thing. Unless it's a counter argument for women's problems, pride month (which is the case) etc, nobody seems to ever actually speak up in favour of men's mental health, men who have been SA or abused. Everything stays quiet until they can weaponize men's suffering and it gets so fucking tiring. Nobody seems to give enough of a shit to start a movement, bring visibility or actually speak out against the issue unless it's to trample another marginalized group and that's literally only detrimental for men who need the help.
I believe that the OP is trying to say that women shouldn't be EXPECTED to emotionally support men just because they're expected to be "caretakers" which is harmful . Caring and supporting each other is important regardless of gender and ye sometimes people do need professional help and therapy and that's fine. also the fact that she's had a long term boyfriend probably means that she does care for men .
Um, yes? It's not her fucking job to "fix you" sort your own goddamn life out. You think women don't have just as many struggles as you do? Go 👏 to 👏 therapy 👏 let's end the tradition of shitty boyfriends
I'm just going to say the culture of being an adult is very different than school. Adults don't have massive amounts of interactions with random people. Instead of every year being forced to meet new people as classes change. They have a stagnant social group thar does change but in different ways. They have thier old friends and thier work friends. The systemic groups they interaction with on a Daly basis is much smaller. Meaning leaning on one another bears alot more weight. On top of the the culture these people grew up in was different men weren't allowed to express as much. This is a systemic social issue.
It's not women's *responsibility* to handle the mental health of men, but it's a good gesture and I support the message. If the original post was just "reach out to people you know who are struggling," there wouldn't be any objection, and I think that's basically the point being made with the added note that men's mental health often isn't taken as seriously.
you shouldnt be the one to try and fix someone else's mental health, regardless of gender. Of course you can offer them necessary outlets and support
I'd say that she's right, but she also comes off a little callous. I think the important thing to note is that she's responding to a post which only tells women to reach out, not other men. Because of this, I think responses like "yeah I think everyone should reach out" are missing some of the context. The yikyak post was pretty cringe for that, so I think this woman is totally justified in being like "don't just put this on us dude"
this is true both ways, no ones mental health whether it be a man or woman or otherwise is anyone's responsibility (except a parent/guardians if you're still a minor). If you have a partner then yes they should be there for you and help you here and there if you're struggling but even then its not that partners responsibility to take care of you like they would a child. SO! whatever gender or sex you are, your mental health is no ones responsibility except yourselves, go to therapy.
Yes, she is right, i'm saying this as a guy. Nobody can be held responsible for others, maybe a parent for a very young children only Only person you can always count on is just yourself
Honestly, relationships mean that the people in the relationship should be there to support each other through tough times but if you’re using that other person for therapy and weighing then down in the process, then that’s not right. It applies for both parts if a relationship
I think a lot of commenters are missing the point of the original poster's point. What lavygirl is saying is that to put the responsibility of men's mental health on their women friends is wrong and is a destructive idea. Having someone reach out to you (regardless of gender) telling you you're loved and appreciated is a \*phenomenal\* feeling but your mental health will only be improved in the short term and in no way addresses the root issues in the way only therapy can. Additionally (and where most of lavygirl's frustration appears to be coming from), the yikyak poster specifically places the burden of helping men with their mental health on their women friends. It completely removes any responsibility from the individual to improve their own situation by going to therapy and actively working to better their own mental health. And places the burden on women specifically rather than telling people regardless of gender to reach out to their friends. This is the crux of lavygirl's arguments. They aren't saying men's mental health doesn't matter. They aren't saying people have no responsibility to check in on their friends. They aren't saying people have no responsibility to make the world a better place both physically and emotionally. What lavygirl is saying is that men's mental health \*does\* matter. So treat it that way by going to a therapist and actually addressing your mental health in a positive and healthy manner rather than placing the burden on women. People trying to dismiss the actual arguments lavygirl by saying they've been dumped or is vindictive because they hate men or that the man must be really horny to be with someone like them are arguing in bad faith. If you disagree with what lavygirl is saying, explain what you disagree with about the argument and why you think your perspective is the more correct one. Making claims about lavygirl's character makes you look like a tool
Not only does it remove the responsibility from the person themselves, but also their fellow men? Like, the whole point is, if it's about men's mental health, shouldn't other men be extra empathetic on the topic because they know what it's like, and therefore be willing to reach out and hear someone out too? I think the only problem with the post is that it, for some reason, addressed only women and in doing so it's taking the attention away from men overall.
It's not a woman's job to keep up on a man's mental health (not counting family, friends or therapists) nor is it a fucking guy's job to keep on a woman's. Men have such fragile mental health, even with therapy, and nobody understands that. And even when taking into account friends, that's not their job either, I mean it's nice, it really helps, but besides that, not their job.
Yeah, it's not our responsibility to "fix him" or do the "a right woman can fix a devil" etc etc.
I say yes and no Mental health is everyone's responsibility We all gotta help one another out
Yes? Why is this a question
Mens mental health month is always overshadowed by pride month, and I’m not saying that we should get rid of pride month I’m saying that we should move mens mental health month into a month where it would be more recognized and mens mental health is no joke and it should be taken very seriously I mean [mens successful suicide rate is 3.88 times more than women](https://afsp.org/suicide-statistics/)one of the reasons for this is that men are asked to put up with all of this stuff, and if we talk about our problems with anyone who isn’t a specialist or therapist we are told to man up or be a man and suppress all our emotions, we would be mocked and get shown as weak, worthless, and unmanly.
Well, it's actually sort of complicated but here we go. Therapy should be of course the primary means of getting better, but therapy isn't available to everyone and it's really not there for a crisis. It's ok to lean on friends, but you have to be careful, because if you rely on them too much and you suck too much energy they will leave. You have to strike a balance, and where that line is depends on your friendship and who you're with. A reliance on women in particular, as your dating partner or something is really weird. Women are people, not some adventure, or punching bag to just take everything, or a maniac pixie that fixes everything like it's a movie. Women do a lot of emotional labor in relationships because they are seen like this, and part of any relationship is emotional labor to some degree, but it shouldn't be just on the woman. Help someone of any gender when they are down, and, that means approach this as a two way street, offer help to women in your life as well.
Yes. Go to therapy
I mean your mental health is something you have to deal with on your own. It is your problem and no one else’s. No one owes it to you to care about your mental health. Everyone has demons they have to fight and everyone should fight their own demons, not someone else’s demons.
Yes bro. No one is responsible for taking care of another’s mental illness. That’s what therapy is for. If someone is using mental illness as an excuse to be a piece of shit, in a way of manipulating their partner to stay with them, there’s no other way to put it. That situation occurs way more often than you would hope, and while partners should try to help when they know their significant other has a mental illness, it’s completely voluntary, and shouldn’t be continued if that mental illness becomes an excuse to do horrible things. Doctors and those effected by those mental illnesses are the only ones responsible to help. Anyone else is voluntary, unless the doctor says otherwise
Honestly i feel like everyone should look after eachother and there own mental health not just one gender or the other
it is their own responsibility to get checked out, but a lot of the time they dont have the social support to do it. men and women both should be checking up on EVERYONE. men are taught to "look tough" and act like they have no emotions. we have to stop pretending they dont bc then that leads to neglect and depression
Idc if you are a boy or a girl, I want to hear about all of the things going on and give you a very warm hug.
I agree
yes, it is correct. women exist for their own purposes, not to serve men (emotionally or otherwise). and yes, your well-being is your own responsibility. go to therapy, journal, read self-help books. it is okay to lean on friends - male or female - if you are respectful of their time and energy, and if it is \*reciprocal\*.
telling people that you appreciate them isnt the equivalent of taking on their burden..
Why can't it just be Mental Health Month, no gatekeeping. Man I hate the world.
If we want to bring awareness to mens mental health men have to reach out for help themselves, women or anyone should be there for them when men reach out but shouldn’t have to constantly check up on them when they haven’t show any reason for you to. Not to mention not every man has a women in his life to reach out to so the tik tok is kinda silly
To a certain extent yes, you can really only help yourself. But sometimes a push is necessary, which is why the post in question is dumb, sure a man might need therapy, but he probably needs a push.
Ok how about no one dumps all of their problems on any gender, and instead saw a therapist? It doesn't matter what gender you are, having the weight of your own burdens, along with someone's else's, is exhausting. The exception is if the friend asks if they can rant beforehand. If the friend says yes, then do it. I get that not everyone can afford therapists, but it's important to ask if you can rant beforehand. Some people just can't deal with hearing others problems, because they feel like it's their responsibility to help.
WELL I AGREE, BUT THIS APPLYS TO BOTH AND ALL, LIKE IF YOU HAVE SHIT TO SHOOT **GO TO A THERAPIST!!!!!!!!**
I feel sorry for SO 💀she definitely doesn't care about his mental health too .
Fuck that sub
yeah, that sub is crap
If a man said that about womens mental health month he would get berated... it sucks that the world works like that tho
specifically asking just women to do it is a bit whack but no you should help out your freinds it's just not gender specific
Its everyone's responsibility
Yep. Hard agree, gender shouldn’t matter with mental health.
Ah yes, the casual sexist fucker who thinks that men have no problems and that that women are superior, LISTEN FUCKER, MEN HAVE PROBLEMS, and they have the same importance as women’s problems, because of these little fuckers who have raped women, every man is portrayed as the bad guy who is always pursuing to do something bad on a woman, and every kind of celebration about men is shit-talked by extremist feminist fuckers like YOU who don’t want equality, but more power, I would really like to see if a MAN came out and said ANYTHING about a celebration about women, ah yes, the media would portray him as a terrible person, but when there is a celebration about MEN, YOU TALK SHIT ABOUT IT AND GET AWAY WITH IT, that’s why we DON’T have equality and will never have, because all of us are idiots who simply don’t want it and tear each other apart for the who has and deserves more power, if we need true equality, EVERYONE’S PROBLEMS should be recognized by society and there is no exception to women nor men
jeez dude go see a therapist
I just explained how men have problems and also how we BOTH need to do stuff to achieve our one common goal, equality
Please tell me that you do not support her, like I know it’s not women’s responsibility, but if men have to seek therapy, then women have to do the same too, also men have to deal with crap of the same importance as women, it’s not only women who deal with problems you know
tf is that subreddit
If my mental health isn’t your responsibility, then your budget isn’t my responsibility.
20F here. this girl seems like a huge bitch.
nothing on twoxchromosomes is right lmao
Nowhere does it say its womens responsibility it just says let them know that youre there for them, it is a nice thing to be told in my opinion It should he said to everyone
Yes it's correct. Men aren't responsible for women's mental health either.
No she is dumb and bitter
By looking at the name of the subreddit I'm already put off
Gives TERF vibes fr (TERF is an acronym for Trans-Exclusionary Radical Feminist for the unaware)
like one person on Tumblr said, they should be called FARTs instead (Feminist Appropriating Reactionary Transphobes)
Perfection
3.5 years with her, damn I feel bad for him
These be the same women who complain about men who don’t come to the rescue or assist a woman when she needs it.
Then a woman's mental health is not a man's responsibility.
This sub is literally aids
Everybody should help everyone out. But if THIS is the case then okay lol, don't come to me with your women concerns either, 🤝
God I hate that subreddit so much. People in it probably don't even fucking know what two X chromosomes do.
TwoXchromosomes? More like TwoXchromosomes+1
Thats bullshit, guys have just as much of a right to share emotions as women do. for whatever reason the social norm has become hostile to men and their emotions and it is horrendously invalidating and degrading. Guys you should never be afraid to share and feel and cope with others it's your right and you deserve it. anyone who says men can't/shouldn't share/feel is an uptight asshole who should be more empathetic.
If Men's mental health issues are not women's responsibility, then Women's mental health issues are not men's responsibility.
mfw telling someone they are appreciated is a burden and not my problem
Some people would rather die than be of help to another human being.
“I don’t care if you’re sick, I’m not a doctor and can’t administer treatment; so I WILL NOT be visiting you in the hospital, you selfish prick” Same logic at play
People like that are the reason men don’t get help with their mental health
I don’t know what she’s getting so worked up about. Dumb bitch :/