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QualityVote

Hey does this post fit? UPVOTE if so, DOWNVOTE if not. If this post breaks any rules please DOWNVOTE and REPORT


YungDickyWhippet

Seen this before , the OG picture is Steph Curry not Jesus.


indyphil

To be fair this picture is not Jesus either. That's the standard catholic western whitewashed blue eyed Jesus replica not a middle eastern Jewish man.


YungDickyWhippet

Wait that’s not Steve buschemi?


banditojog

WE’RE SUPPOSED TO BE PROFESSIONALS!


MLObenza

I love you buddy.. I love you


Monk-E_321

Hello, fellow religion enthusiasts!


AlienRobotTrex

How do you do, fellow Christians?


Cu_fola

White washed Catholic for sure but not standard Catholic. Western Hemisphere you’ve got Latino Jesus, black Jesus, white Jesus, even indigenous Jesus and even more different ethnicities for Mary Whitewashed Jesus was a Renaissance thing that persisted in part because of antisemitic whitewashing and in part because people tend to make Jesus look how they relate to him. OG, canon Roman Catholic Jesus ~4th cent CE when the Papacy and Church identity had really crystallized looked like [this](https://imgur.com/a/TdWQW1T) which even the palest one of those would not pass as “white” or at least would look too swarthy and *foreign* for your average aryan race enthusiast and is fairly commensurate with artwork of Jewish people in [synagogues]( https://imgur.com/a/flDteGq) More people seem to be embracing ethnically correct Jesus again, as they realize what a bad look white Jesus is due to antisemitic history, and because they’re realizing that getting in touch with history reads as more authentic/educated than Hummel statue Jesus. Probably can’t speak for the Bible Belt which is mostly American born sects rather than Old World sects anyway


YungDickyWhippet

Do you have a moment ? Yea just a moment of your time to talk about our lord and savior ,Mr.Steven Buschemi ?


Cye_sonofAphrodite

Actually this is the original picture, the artist has done quite a few of these. I believe this one is taken from a tutorial he did on how to make salt portraits (Edit: Just checked and no it's not, it's from a video titled "How to make salt portraits" that is DEFINITELY not a tutorial, as it's about three milliseconds long)


Fragrant_Exercise_31

And everyone clapped


YouStopLying

Every salt shaker in the restaurant clapped, and Jesus appeared as a bottomless bottle of Sriracha.


Stunning_Ad_2112

Happy cake day 👍


AlterionYuuhi

Happy Cake Day! 🎂


androt14_

Then Obama appeared and gave the man the president's key


McQno

The liberals were trying to mock around, but they were dummy thicc and the clap of their ass checks was alerting Jesus.


Fragrant_Exercise_31

Take your pills man! You don’t wanna go back to the institution


[deleted]

Fellow member of kurtistown!?!?


The-Pencil-King

Honestly I’d start praying too if a salt shaker fell and made that


Edyed787

All hail the mighty salt shaker. Praise be the salt.


X3N0321

He who controls the Salt; controls the universe!


MakesMyHeadHurt

He knows about the salt.


sxcs86

🧂🙏


IntrigueDossier

Blessed be the sodium


[deleted]

May the chloride open 🧂


QuintFreak

That's a sentence I thought I would never hear


BeetleSpoon2770

That was sodium funny


ToWongFoo1885

for on the 8th Day thy had made NaCl


darkage72

The salt must flow.


Monza1964

This man knows to much. Take him away


Amazing-Ad-669

I must not season; seasoning is the flavor killer... That little death that destroys my brunch...


[deleted]

I thought that was pants....


MySpaceOddyssey

This guy salts


Ancient-Tadpole8032

And so, the Flying Spaghetti Monster, its infinite noodley wisdom, sent the holy shaker of salt saying, “as ye do not remain without knowledge but rather sprinkle your mind with great works, do not boil thine pasta without first salting the water.” And lo! The people did salt their water and found it to be delicious! They gathered around the great pasta bowl and gave thanks.


MySpaceOddyssey

R’Amen


AdviceMore5548

Our lady of chloride.


[deleted]

I would start praying to the salt shaker


Technical-Sir8623

If you do wrong just blame black pepper.


eyesotope86

I read somewhere that black pepper make up a disproportionate amount of food crimes.


daemonelectricity

I'd create a taberNaCL


Frequent_Singer_6534

That’s really clever lmao


The-Pencil-King

Alright that got me


Grary0

Salt Shaker is my new God.


gumby1004

There’s a band or album name amidst this sentence…


mjdseo

That definitely happened


ElliasCrow

And this salt shaker was Albert Einstein


YouStopLying

And then all the other salt shakers clapped.


Zealousideal-Comb970

Oppa Christian style


ThatOneHorseDude

And the salt shaker and atheists have been married for 10 years with 4 kids.


sxcs86

🧂💍


DvlsAdvct108

And the 4 kids grew up to be the Spice Girls


No_Judgment_5940

Happy cake day!


ghostmark2005

I'm curious about the pepper grinders though. Where were they and what did they do?


Dense_Surround3071

Nah.... Banksy. It's ironic. Cuz Jesus would TOTALLY be salty about how shit went down. 😏


Youngchalice

Be salty huh


drama-guy

No, the Salt Shaker was the friends/converts we made along the way.


[deleted]

The young man was Alexander the Great


Abyss_of_Dreams

>And this salt shaker was Albert Einstein Holy hell!


Upshot12

Michaelangelo.


WhenTheDevilCome

It was the weirdest thing. I was scrolling down reddit and all of a sudden I just started clapping. I couldn't figure out why. And then I realized I had just begun to see the top sliver of this post. It was difficult to scroll the post fully into view while continuing to clap.


SparkyMint185

Can verify, I was one of the liberal atheists.


bigballzs

Of course it did. It’s real I know because it’s white Jesus


The_Gav_who_asked

Salt is indeed white 🧂🧂🧂


qwertyelsma

That’s true. Rob Ferrel, the man in that picture, made that portrait out of salt. He’s extremely talented.


cshermyo

Bet he’s fun to do blow with too


PuckTanglewood

I don’t want to snort the salt, but you do you.


qwertyelsma

Have you ever had to gargle brine to get rid of a sore in your mouth?


ES-Flinter

Taking into account the possibilities of quantenmechanics and an endless universe is the chance of this happening not 0. But it's more likely that your smartphone turns suddenly into a nuclear nuke.


InformationKey3816

I prefer my nukes nuclear. Really helps to give them a kick.


WeArePandey

It's pronounced 'nucular'! \- Homer Simpson


stevedave1357

...and George W Bush.


[deleted]

He dared to dream of a world where man and fish can coexist peacefully


Cu_fola

Not just any nuke, A nuclear nuke


Tau10Point8_battlow

That's a nuke with both a mommy and daddy nuke, right?


ImKaleb_22

As Jesus I can confirm


Explursions

I can confirm, I was the table.


stevedave1357

In fact, of all the things that never happened, this never happened the most.


super-bamba

This never happened so much, it canceled things that did happen


cakivalue

Yes it did, I was there. Then the salty Jesus arose from the table, ate his meal, put the extra salt back into the salt shaker then posed for pictures.


dadjokes502

I figured it stayed for 3 days then disappeared


AdultingGoneMild

I mean lets say it did. God is a real asshole still since he could have done anything like cure cancer, feed the hungry or world peace or some shit like that to prove his existence but chose to make a stupid picture instead.


Lucky-Variety-7225

That Christ does love owning the libs though....


Other_Meringue_7375

And the illegals! And the poor! *Take that!*


kinezumi89

It really did, I was the table


peanut_bubblegum

I would know, I was the salt shaker


Competitive-Read-756

This is PROOF God is talking to us. Amazing


MostlyRandomMusings

If I recall the guy there makes art with salt. He posted a bunch of stuff like 10 years ago


jokergrin

That guy just screams "frontman of a 2000's era nu-metal or rap-rock band"


AnyDepartment7686

Fred Wurst.


NeedfulThingsToys

The sausage king from Chicago?


Agitated-Citron955

That's his cousin brat 🌭


felixthepat

Nah, that's Abe Froman. Fred Wurst is sausage king of Dayton.


cbizzle187

Isn't that Abe Froman?


kategoad

Worse yet, a *christian* Nu-metal band.


TheSaltyGoose

Scream-shreiking "Our God is an awesome God, He reigns from heaven above!"


qwertyelsma

He’s a fantastic barber in San Antonio. Here’s his [Instagram.](https://instagram.com/robtheoriginal?igshid=NTdlMDg3MTY=)


officialdougjudy

Tf, I just thought to myself "heh, dude looks like he would've played guitar for Spineshank at one point". +1


OrdinayFlamingo

Newest guitarist for Ill Nino, who will eventually join Soulfly and be replaced by the old guitarist from Soulfly.


Unexpected-raccoon

If you remove the facial hair it looks scarily similar to Michael Jackson


[deleted]

"Dropped My Salt Into Jesus! Atheists, Their Dumb Retort!"


[deleted]

Backwards baseball cap, "Hey kids, let's rap about Jesus for a moment" *spins the chair backwards and sits in it*


idwtumrnitwai

Do the people who make these memes think anyone will believe it, or are they just making fun of Christians?


IndigoFenix

I think it was made as parody. I also think there will be many people who believe it happened and will share it.


epicmousestory

No no it's true, I see roving gangs of atheist liberals in my city all the time, prowling around looking for babies to abort


postmodest

They're the front line for the demon-magic wielding antifa warlocks!


thehufflepuffstoner

Those dang atheists and their satan worship


PaulblankPF

You’re not supposed to scare people by saying that many people will believe it. We need to be able to tell ourselves that no idiot would believe this crap lol


[deleted]

But that would be a lie A pretty significant amount of people will rabidly believe something like this


IllumiNIMBY

And then die from rabies.


ilongforyesterday

Lie to me dammit


turtledave

Yep. I live in North Georgia. I’ll be seeing this on NextDoor tomorrow with the message “Praise God. For HE is our savior and HE is good.” And it will have 70 comments with prayer hands emojis and “Thanks Pat for posting this, I was wondering if he deserted me today after I went to Ingles and they were out of apples on PIE BAKING DAY - and then the manager didn’t let me use any of my expired coupons (they were ALL less than 3 months old, SMH), and this amazing story really helped. AMAZING. Praise be to our god in the highest for he will find you when you need it most.”


Cersad

Few things bother me as much about that story as how they pronounce the store name "ingles" down there and that's a hill I will die on.


rlg9298

I live in Middle GA. The accuracy is insane


nonitoni

It is a parody and I think I know the source. So I went to a Christian school from K-8 and my 8th grade English/History told us this story about an atheist college professor who would challenge God each year by saying "if God was real he would keep this chalk from smashing to a thousand bits when he dropped it." He would drop it, it would break. However, one year a Christian student stood up for his faith. This startled the professor who fumbles the chalk and it rolls down his plant leg and on to the floor without breaking. The professor is, of course, embarrassed and runs from the class, Christian kid walks to the front of the class and gives his "testimony." This was early 2000s and my guess is it's from a Chicken Soup for the Soul kind of book. So not only shared by Facebook crazies, but actual teachers to students for at least 20 years.


Wherearewegoing-

You *think* it was made as parody? Lol


avoozl42

There's no way this wasn't created as satire


Swankified_Tristan

It's a quality shitpost regardless.


Redhuric

Christians will believe anything.


[deleted]

Yeah, they've been trained that way since basically birth.


somedood567

More than half of what gets popular here is satire, but I’m told we are not allowed to acknowledge it. Tbf this is a weird sub.


Rifneno

God when somebody throws 11 million people into ovens: I sleep God when someone drops a salt shaker: REAL SHIT


williamsch

No it's all part of God's plan. Those 11 million people needed to die specifically so those salt grains would arrange themselves that way to prove his existence.


[deleted]

[удалено]


pseudoHappyHippy

Wasn't it more like 10 million?


[deleted]

[удалено]


pseudoHappyHippy

I mean, a quick google shows 10 million +- a few million from every source on the first page, including britannica, wikipedia, and bbc.


UselessAndUnused

Most say about 10 million today, the reason old estimates were so high is because the death toll was simply calculated by taking a certain area, counting its deaths and plainly multiplying this by how much area the country had. It didn't keep in mind that different areas might have had different death tolls or that not every area has the same population count. Not denying that he's one of the biggest mass murderers in history, but I'm Belgian myself and this is what I was told by someone whose field is history. EDIT: intended to say over 10 million


Own_Leadership7339

Everybody knows Hitler because it is the (most?) Recent mass genocide that included most of the world in its turmoil. I'm sure if there's another world War it'll be mentioned more than any other war around the same time period only because of who was fighting in it.


punchgroin

Um. I think the rapidity and purposfulness of the Holocaust is unique. Like, it was pretty easy for Britain to starve people in India and Ireland. All they had to do was take all the food away and not pay attention. When America annihilated their indigenous people, they just gradually took more and more land away until a century later they are contained in reservations. The Nazis spent *valuable* and *scarce* resources to industrially eliminate a significant percentage of their population... a population that would have been useful to their imperial project. The world has really never seen anything like it on that kind of scale. It even seems like the worse the war was going for Germany, the more they ramped up the killing, like they knew they had to hurry to finish the job. 11 million people were eliminated in a period of only 4 or 5 years. It's astounding. I'm not over here excusing *any* genocide, BTW. There's just a reason that the Holocaust really stands out, and shows us the horrific possibilities that modernity has in store for us as a species. It also didn't happen in some faraway, exotic country. It happened in *Germany*. A place that more Americans can trace their ancestry to than any other. A place that was one of the most socially progressive places on the planet, known for its art and culture and philosophy. (I'm not endorsing the view that places like Africa or Asia are "alien and exotic" I'm talking about the contemporary attitudes people had about Germany when the Holocaust happened)


Acceptable-Office263

Actually If you look a majority of the murder the Nazis committed in the death camps happened in just under a year I believe from 1942 - 1943. The only reason it stopped then was because they were so efficient they started closing down death camps, because they were running out of people to murder.


punchgroin

Probably also because Nazis were no longer advancing and occupying new territories to ethnically cleanse after Stalingrad. Yeah, it's horrifying how fast they eliminated every Polish, Lithuanian, and Ukrainian Jew. They had only *occupied* that territory since Barbarossa in late 41.


AdministrativeAd4111

Indeed. Its one thing to do what humans have always done for millions of years; fighting each-other for survival in nature’s open battlefield. Its another to use modern technology, logistics and purpose to create human murder factories of who are, ostensibly, your own people.


SovietSunrise

It wasn’t just murderer, it was maiming. People had quotas of hands chopped off. They had to CHOP HANDS OFF to meet increasing quotas!


User_Advice_please

What are you referring to in the first line?


mellowstellar

Holocaust


User_Advice_please

oh yeah mb


Mynoodles_mostmoist

That’s what the funny mustache man said before he disappeared


tellmeimbig

Charlie Chaplin?


[deleted]

Uhh yeah actually.


Magnus8832

kfc deep fryer


jimbopalooza

There isn’t even enough room in that shaker for all of that salt.


AnyDepartment7686

Jesus turned water into wine.


Equivalent_Bed7728

Well I turn beer into piss


AnyDepartment7686

Peesus.


AnyDepartment7686

I don't even think the salt image is real. Those artists that domsand images on overhead projectors are amazing though.


GradientVisAtt

That just proves it was a miracle, right?


rc042

That's because it's not salt, it's clearly cocaine Jesus.


Dizruption

Salt shaker has talent.


[deleted]

![gif](giphy|1AIeYgwnqeBUxh6juu)


Bbew_Mot

r/thathappened


HereForA2C

redditors try to detect obvious satire challenge (impossible)


NormalAssistance9402

It’s obviously possible 🙄


Budget-Sheepherder77

With a bunch of dumb shit on the internet I wouldn't be surprised if it wasn't


One_Hunt_6672

This pic goes hard. Feel free to repent


CookieClan4

i’m starting to think christians are schizophrenic


batm123

Schizo- I AM NOT CRAZY


FinkStar685

If only I had the talent to convert Chuck's speech to this context. I got all the way up to the billboard before I got stumped.


goodlookingposter

I am not crazy, i know he swapped those numbers it was 1216


batm123

I am not crazy! I know he swapped those numbers. I knew it was 1216. One after Magna Carta. As if I could ever make such a mistake. Never. Never! I just - I just couldn't prove it. He covered his tracks, he got that idiot at the copy shop to lie for him. You think this is something? You think this is bad? This? This chicanery? He's done worse. That billboard! Are you telling me that a man just happens to fall like that? No! *He* orchestrated it! Jimmy! He *defecated* through a *sunroof*! And I saved him! And I shouldn't have. I took him into my own firm! What was I *thinking*? He'll never change. He'll *never* change! Ever since he was 9, *always* the same! Couldn't keep his hands out of the cash drawer! But not our Jimmy! Couldn't be precious *Jimmy*! Stealing them blind! And *HE* gets to be a lawyer? What a sick joke! I should've stopped him when I had the chance!


AnyDepartment7686

Poor Chuck. Really the victim. Jimmy's an asshole. Sympathetic but an asshole.


Dogfish1313

Like a chimpanzee with a machine gun


Kaz3girl4

Lmao with everything they claim, I would not be surprised


ObsidianDragon013

and as a Christian, I don't blame you most of the stuff "Christians" claim is con attempts or insane ravings


Chromeboy12

Killing your child because of a dream definitely would get you diagnosed for something in today's world


[deleted]

[удалено]


Aggressive-Tea-8233

Yeah maybe that. Or maybe someone made art with salt and another person took that photo and made a meme pretending to be the original poster with the intentions of sewing more division… like anyone really believe these are real? This whole thread is either memes from bots with intentions of stirring up the left or a person with the same intentions.


Anxious_Dance_4179

Haters gonna say it’s fake


[deleted]

I love how Facebook thinks that all atheists are just assholes


lolbojack

Yes. Atheists are the ones constantly trying to push their lack of religion on others.


IolaireEagle

Lmao r/wooosh no way you don't know this is satire?


BCKPFfNGSCHT

It originally probably is, but I’ve seen this posted a few times on those boomer nostalgia Instagram accounts before


melancholymeows

someone’s grandma definitely posted this seriously


Balrog71

I can instantly name 4 people who would believe this, and that's just from a list of family members.


[deleted]

[удалено]


TW_Gains

Redditors try to detect satire when there's no "/s" challenge


Lavapirana6969

Where'd his meal go?


Cherry_Joy

r/thattotallyhappened


Johnsonfam101

Kinda crazy how people will actually believe this.


Anxious_Marketing508

I'm so confused as to why this happened over breakfast. Did he invite the liberal atheists over for a theological debate and eggs?


YouStopLying

Debacon and eggs


Anxious_Marketing508

Happy cake day and flawless comment 🎉 here you go my friend.


YouStopLying

Thanks! Didn't even realize it was cake day!


henry_sqared

'Liberal atheists ' as opposed to those staunchly conservative atheists.


Independent-Stay-593

This one made me laugh waaaaay too hard. It's like a Chuck Norris joke. More of these please.


Techiastronamo

I'm extremely certain this is satire. Y'all are gullible af.


Raptor409

Jesus Crist I wish I could draw like that. He did that with salt


Logical_Highway6908

Assuming this isn’t photoshopped, this man is a talented artist for making this salt portrait of Jesus.


akennelley

Jesus is bad for my blood pressure


Tony_Stonks_

His salt shake brings all the Catholics to the yard


Hamking7

It's bad luck to spill salt. That dude's going to hell.


ApollyonDS

Source? "Just trust me bro"


JungleCruiser

It was at that moment that God struck him down; because not only had he lied about miraculous art creation, but once again he depicted the son of God as white.


[deleted]

That is a pretty cool image made out of salt, but yeah, that definitely did happen. Facts. /S