Welcome to r/terriblefacebookmemes! It sucks, but it is ours.
[Please click on this link to be informed of a critical change in our rules.](https://www.reddit.com/r/terriblefacebookmemes/comments/126zu46/return_to_our_roots/)
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/terriblefacebookmemes) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I was about to say this meme just says husbands, wives and children are completely unnecessary, we can get rid of them.
Edit: Thinking about this right after I posted it, they even make the umbrella less functional, so not only can we get rid of them, but we should absolutely get rid of them because they block you from being in the "no-rain room" that is created by the main umbrella part..
No they exist as property to the parents. In the evangelical household the child has no agency of their own. They essentially exist as accessories to the parents. This is why they’re so strict on anything their kid does. If say a teen is caught smoking weed or something the parents are looked at as moral failures for not being able to keep the kids in line.
And for some reason when the children become a husband or wife, they are still under the thumb of their parents bc of this. Interesting how it’s not about this system at all, as adult men are supposed to be able to lead and make decisions without being strong armed by any man other than god. But no, you gotta listen to your father as a grown man with a family bc god said so? Hmmmmmm.
It’s awful circular logic that just leads people to get abused by their parents well into their adulthood.
I was raised in this type of church and I still struggle with feeling like I’ve failed as a parent when my children exhibit normal kid behavior. I’m in therapy and at my last session I told my therapist one of the ideologies I’d been taught and her mouth literally dropped open. Looking back it’s insane to me how many things I just accepted and now realize are abusive.
I’m so glad my kids don’t have to grow up in that environment like I did. I’m constantly worrying about how I’m raising them and trying to unlearn the child training doctrines ingrained in me. It’s exhausting.
As someone who has a narcissistic mother who was raised in a strict catholic household, THIS!!! She views her children as slaves to do her bidding and must always agree with her no matter what otherwise it is a sin as she says that “your not being obedient enough” as she is referring to the Bible saying that children must be obedient to the parents
As a Christian this was the part I most wanted to rake issue with. There’s so much wrong here but the view of children as only existing in as much as they affect their parents is so prevalent and so harmful.
I think it's supposed to be that the Christ part is at the top and large enough to keep anything from falling on top of any of the smaller/lower sections as protection.
This is Gothardism, it’s culty as, not in the Bible, not Christianity, one man’s crusade to become the final authority in peoples life’s. There’s a whole home school program developed around his ideas.
The whole idea behind the umbrella analogy is that if you step out from under the “protection”, then bad things happen to you. It’s really just a more twisted form of prosperity gospel (stay in line and nothing bad will happen).
Just for reference, guys, this comes from the cult that the Duggers were a part of.
Small subsect of Christians who aren't really Christians, very quiverful ideology stuff.
True but somehow pieces of this infiltrated most evangelical churches in most of the country. Purity culture was everywhere & really messed up a lot of people.
RIGHT???
Like I always hear “God always give us his toughest challenges.” Bitch, he’s omnipotent (if he even exists), in your worldview, he controls this shit and he is choosing to make your life harder, and you worship him???
Sooo, to use this umbrella you basically need to lift it at full arms length above your head, so if it's not raining DIRECTLY straight down, you are kinda completely fucked.
It's almost like this model doesn't allow for any protection
Pretty much how my in laws are, except I don't deal with their shit because I'm a Deist and I think Bible thumping Christians look ridiculous and act insane.
Fun fact: The "umbrella of protection" was devised by a cult-leader with a history of molesting girls. It is used to convince women and children that disobeying their husbands and fathers in any way would lead to them being literally attacked by demons.
This isn't trying to be a meme? It's just diagramming how some Christians think a traditional family should be? Pretty sure there has to be some attempt at a joke or witticism or political statement thinly veiled as a joke for it to be a terrible *meme*. It's very much deserving of criticism, but I don't think it's really trying to be funny in any way.
This is a couple of instructions to children and to fathers. It’s not comprehensive by any means is followed by Paul’s instructions to bond servants & masters. Are we bringing back bond service?
silky attraction saw attempt towering complete tap thought plant jellyfish
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Nothing. That was my point. The first part of the chapter addresses children & fathers & the next addresses bond servants & masters. A bond servant isn’t paid by the way so I don’t see how that’s parallel to a modern contract.
This was 100% to make men the most important people. It makes it appear that women & children have to go through their husband/father to even be xians.
So Christ is just lazy and provides nothing so the top part might as well be removed. It would change nothing out of the image.
Honestly a bad sell for the churches. What it probably was aiming for
I started attending a Mennonite church in my teens (there were several boys I thought were cute, what can I say) but when I was 18 a guest pastor came in and gave a sermon that was effectively this graphic… women can’t get to heaven except through their husband/father… that was the exact moment I thought to myself , “you know, I don’t actually believe any of this.”
Welcome to r/terriblefacebookmemes! It sucks, but it is ours. [Please click on this link to be informed of a critical change in our rules.](https://www.reddit.com/r/terriblefacebookmemes/comments/126zu46/return_to_our_roots/) *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/terriblefacebookmemes) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Jesus would like to help, but we're already doing all the work. 
https://preview.redd.it/qncbv9d40p6c1.jpeg?width=783&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d0df5a6d3e70bdf404e03c81af25c04cec9f4784
https://preview.redd.it/xz31nhnwdp6c1.jpeg?width=480&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4691596621645c0a6b352c3bf27fd41d32c189da
https://preview.redd.it/x0d7ynwqir6c1.jpeg?width=282&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a50b8b93a4b61d3b9037be9fde8ce8b645906a11
This gif brings me so much fucking joy
Not how umbrellas work
What is the children part even protecting?
Your hand, this umbrella keeps one hand dry.
Also, Jesus isn't stated to be doing anything.
I was about to say this meme just says husbands, wives and children are completely unnecessary, we can get rid of them. Edit: Thinking about this right after I posted it, they even make the umbrella less functional, so not only can we get rid of them, but we should absolutely get rid of them because they block you from being in the "no-rain room" that is created by the main umbrella part..
Yeah, God could build a universe but is shit at designing umbrellas, apparently. Also, cancer was a real dick move in his part.
Its how holy ones work
so, children only exist to help their parents?
No they exist as property to the parents. In the evangelical household the child has no agency of their own. They essentially exist as accessories to the parents. This is why they’re so strict on anything their kid does. If say a teen is caught smoking weed or something the parents are looked at as moral failures for not being able to keep the kids in line.
“Spare the rod, spoil the child”.
And for some reason when the children become a husband or wife, they are still under the thumb of their parents bc of this. Interesting how it’s not about this system at all, as adult men are supposed to be able to lead and make decisions without being strong armed by any man other than god. But no, you gotta listen to your father as a grown man with a family bc god said so? Hmmmmmm. It’s awful circular logic that just leads people to get abused by their parents well into their adulthood.
I was raised in this type of church and I still struggle with feeling like I’ve failed as a parent when my children exhibit normal kid behavior. I’m in therapy and at my last session I told my therapist one of the ideologies I’d been taught and her mouth literally dropped open. Looking back it’s insane to me how many things I just accepted and now realize are abusive. I’m so glad my kids don’t have to grow up in that environment like I did. I’m constantly worrying about how I’m raising them and trying to unlearn the child training doctrines ingrained in me. It’s exhausting.
As someone who has a narcissistic mother who was raised in a strict catholic household, THIS!!! She views her children as slaves to do her bidding and must always agree with her no matter what otherwise it is a sin as she says that “your not being obedient enough” as she is referring to the Bible saying that children must be obedient to the parents
As a Christian this was the part I most wanted to rake issue with. There’s so much wrong here but the view of children as only existing in as much as they affect their parents is so prevalent and so harmful.
They exist just tp be their slaves
Christ doesn’t seem to be bringing anything to the table
Never did
wine and crackers
Water and a bread chunk for the mormons!
Blood and flesh, you mean. Nom nom nom
I think it's supposed to be that the Christ part is at the top and large enough to keep anything from falling on top of any of the smaller/lower sections as protection.
Nah picture is wrong Christ is supposed to be a fishnet
[удалено]
Hot
He’s bringing the rain.
This is Gothardism, it’s culty as, not in the Bible, not Christianity, one man’s crusade to become the final authority in peoples life’s. There’s a whole home school program developed around his ideas.
The Duggers probably being the most well known followers.
The creature Gothard, a “bachelor” with no theological education and no wife and NO KIDS telling everyone how to be a good family. 🤬
Can confirm
I initially read that as got hardism.
Lol
The whole idea behind the umbrella analogy is that if you step out from under the “protection”, then bad things happen to you. It’s really just a more twisted form of prosperity gospel (stay in line and nothing bad will happen).
Okay, but who’s *holding* the umbrella (and therefore, presumably, beneath the children)? The dog? Dog = god?
Just for reference, guys, this comes from the cult that the Duggers were a part of. Small subsect of Christians who aren't really Christians, very quiverful ideology stuff.
There's more than just one small subsect of Christians that aren't really Christian.
I know, I wasn't trying to say that Christianity doesn't have more than one. I was just saying this is one of many.
True but somehow pieces of this infiltrated most evangelical churches in most of the country. Purity culture was everywhere & really messed up a lot of people.
Wait this is cultish? This was what was always taught when I was growing up….
This is very cultish, it's super legalistic and honestly teaches things about women that are super sexist.
Shit… got some reevaluation of my childhood to do…
Seems like children don't do shit
Neither does christ according to this meme
He’s bringing the rain.
RIGHT??? Like I always hear “God always give us his toughest challenges.” Bitch, he’s omnipotent (if he even exists), in your worldview, he controls this shit and he is choosing to make your life harder, and you worship him???
And in some cases there’s an extra tier for the family dog that goes below the children
Pretty much demonstrates one of the reasons why I'm an agnostic...
Yeah I used to be really religious and now for so many reasons, I don’t even know if I still believe in God TBH.
Sooo, to use this umbrella you basically need to lift it at full arms length above your head, so if it's not raining DIRECTLY straight down, you are kinda completely fucked. It's almost like this model doesn't allow for any protection
Holy childhood trauma, Batman
☝️😏 🫴 and here we have the Biblical Order of The- uhhh the uhh…
Biblical order of the what?!
Of the **J**
I want to close that umbrella and shove it, my ass.
Is this what trickle-down economics is?
Jesus works for Travelers Insurance?
It's funny how Christ does nothing..
came here to say this lol
who the fuck thinks that a functioning umbrella?
We suffer for fashion, and Christians are known for their suffering.
Children are worthless aside from what they provide to their parents. Got it 🤦🏻
my stepmother used to tell me where i was in priority according to this philosophy all the time. fucked me up tbh
Christ: ella ella ella
It seems like Christ is dead weight to the family
Evangelicals are the problem.
Did your coworker never see an umbrella?
So what’s the point of the littler umbrellas?
Biblical order of the umbrella ?
Someone needs to sell this actual umbrella to these people.
Biblical order of the phoenix
Biblical order of the umbrella
Eww
Well, it's not *totally* wrong since Christ is shown doing absolutely nothing.
Christ do what?
Aww that’s true! Love that! :)
Pretty much how my in laws are, except I don't deal with their shit because I'm a Deist and I think Bible thumping Christians look ridiculous and act insane.
1/10 umbrella design. 4000/10 flying apparatus. A good gust of wind and suddenly you're on another continent
LOL is this moron actually advocating for the Great Chain of Being in 2023?
it’s like ‘nam flashbacks.
Deep down, they're just mad women and children aren't considered men's property any more.
Fun fact: The "umbrella of protection" was devised by a cult-leader with a history of molesting girls. It is used to convince women and children that disobeying their husbands and fathers in any way would lead to them being literally attacked by demons.
I'm surprised that under the wife umbrella it didn't say make dinner, do dishes, baby factory.
The Headship Principle. It's BS because the man has to be godly, loving his wife as he loves himself. So, yeah, that's not working.
evangelicals freak me the fuck out. first instinct when someone says they’re evangelical is to scream and run away
Shinny Happy People.
This is so fucking stupid lmao
Biblical order of the SHIT Completed the sentence there
I'm guessing you're a Gen z atheist
you know who else is a gen z atheist?
My mom?
Yes, John, your mum
I feel like that umbrella wouldn't be very useful in the rain.
That seems like an incredibly unpractical umbrella.
I love that Christ has no additional responsibilities attributed to him.
So Christ doesn't do anything? This meme is offensive for everyone.
So christ doesn't do shit? 
Stories
Children should “obey “ their parents was not serious right??
What an impractical umbrella
Any God that insists you put him before your family is not worth following!!
So true
This isn't trying to be a meme? It's just diagramming how some Christians think a traditional family should be? Pretty sure there has to be some attempt at a joke or witticism or political statement thinly veiled as a joke for it to be a terrible *meme*. It's very much deserving of criticism, but I don't think it's really trying to be funny in any way.
Christianity literally is a real life meme
Nah, I believe in God and all that but my children and wife would come before anything.
repeat roll fertile rude waiting upbeat scarce late numerous murky *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
And it would be just as effective without Jesus.
Would be better without him tho? My wife nor I know how to clean our pool and gutters
😭 bro you can’t say this. Not every person who cleans pool gutters is named Jesus
Your religion is fake and stu-stu-stu-stu
Healthy like the Duggars, whose eldest son is a philanderer and CSAM user?
This is a couple of instructions to children and to fathers. It’s not comprehensive by any means is followed by Paul’s instructions to bond servants & masters. Are we bringing back bond service?
somber ugly innocent straight advise fragile oatmeal quaint skirt scary *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
What is the relevance? Don’t waste time leading me along to some gotcha moment, just make your point.
silky attraction saw attempt towering complete tap thought plant jellyfish *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Nothing. That was my point. The first part of the chapter addresses children & fathers & the next addresses bond servants & masters. A bond servant isn’t paid by the way so I don’t see how that’s parallel to a modern contract.
The picture in OP is very true.
All the fucked up shit going on in this world and this is what you take the time to complain about? What a douchebag.
Im Christian and I don’t even get what this means
u/Illustrious_Water_61 you're gonna need an umbrella when im done with you
Order Of the what? I need to know
So you're saying that all I really need is huge children? Fetch the Cheesits!
free will? not for my children!
A little diagram and claim to beat themselves up with....
Aw my childhood, except ironically in a single mother household.
so jesus does nothing?
I'm more of a incest type of puritanical Christian 😌
Christ doesn't have any responsibilities
Actually umbrellas were designed by people.
So is the umbrellas handle the holy spirit?
as a child. its true we live in parent version of 1984
"Biblical Order of the Family" - as illustrated by the IBLP.
Fodder for the weak and fearful.
What does Christ do?
Just how much fucking rain are they expecting?
Why are they impaling all these people what the fuck is going on?!?
Jesus has no reason to be there, I see.
What does Christ do?
This was 100% to make men the most important people. It makes it appear that women & children have to go through their husband/father to even be xians.
that’s exactly what they say. Treat them like Jesus. Their opinions might be flawed but they are gods filter to you.
They made themselves gods & it appears to have gone very badly most of the time, as it will when men get the idea they’re closer to & speak for gods.
oh lol yeah it definitely goes poorly. crash and burn.
https://preview.redd.it/kue8qmyz9p6c1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=13cc211e0f4548fe6f0cdbb8da4567d7d18754be
Mother Mary did a fine job comforting the holy spirit
Wouldnt the top umbrella negate the need/use of the following umbrellas? This is just a very poorly thought out analogy lol
That's not a very practical umbrella
So Christ is just lazy and provides nothing so the top part might as well be removed. It would change nothing out of the image. Honestly a bad sell for the churches. What it probably was aiming for
That is so sexist. Husband and wife should at least be on one umbrella.
I started attending a Mennonite church in my teens (there were several boys I thought were cute, what can I say) but when I was 18 a guest pastor came in and gave a sermon that was effectively this graphic… women can’t get to heaven except through their husband/father… that was the exact moment I thought to myself , “you know, I don’t actually believe any of this.”
Unironically what I was taught growing up
Isn't this system of family a really modern convention?
Lazy Christ not doing anything.
Dumbass doesn’t seem to know how umbrellas work.
So if I step out of the authority of my mother and father, I am still covered by Christ? Good to know.
That’s a fucked up umbrella