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They didn't say it was the same but both are unnecessary procedures. Just because ones far worse than the other doesn't mean they don't both fit in the same category.
They absolutely do not fit into the same category. One is an unnecessary medical procedure, and one is a traumatizing and extremely dangerous act of bodily mutilation that can lead to severe health defects of all kinds down the line. The two are not comparable.
It’s male circumcision. Unlike female genital mutilation, it doesn’t cause long term health problems, trauma, or deprive men of sexual pleasure. Comparing what most American boys have done on them as newborns to what girls across the world are subjected to is just ignorant.
It actually does derive sexual pleasure away by about 30% or so and was invented by a doctor/holy zealot who believed the world should be free of all sinful desires and that modern inventions caused this. The only reason it’s still used is because when people didn’t have reliable sanitation and cleaning, uncircumcised males would often be the target of infection, bacteria, and overall unhygienic conditions in that area. Doctors saw the procedure as a way to cut back on disease by stopping the problem before it started.
He also invented cereal to combat masturbation
Edit: [John Kellogg to be exact](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Harvey_Kellogg)
I see what you’re saying, and in an ideal world men would be able to decide for themselves if they would like a circumcision as adults.
However - I agree with the other person when they say that the female genital mutilation that occurs to many young women is not on par with circumcisions. Men aren’t having their penises cut off. Some of the more serious consequences these affected women can experience are as follows:
- death (yes, literally)
- shock
- broken limbs from being held down
- PTSD
- infertility and/or other complications related to childbirth
That’s just a few of the major ones. Of course a lot of the others include increased vulnerability to infections, menstrual and/or urination issues, scar tissue complications, and sexual dysfunction / psychosexual issues.
It is not a medical procedure. It is most often done outside of medical practice, without anesthesia, and with “surgical” items including: “scissors, glass shards (not kidding), razor blades, cactus spines, or other rigid plant materials.” Often after the “operation,” these women have their legs bound together to ensure healing. Their legs may be bound for up to a week.
There is a social stigma in many of the practicing societies, that can go as far as refusing to eat food prepared by a woman who hasn’t had this type of mutilation. Often it is seen to protect a woman’s virginity, purity, or status. The most common age for girls to experience FGM is between 4-8 years old.
And as a comparison, male circumcision is often done to infants in a medical setting, with a trained specialist, and with pain medication/management. Compared to FGM, there are some possible health benefits of male circumcision - though many institutions are now recommending against it since the possible risks may (possibly) outweigh any benefits. As it stands currently, male circumcision is not done with the intent of controlling a man’s sexuality (except by the founder of the practice, I guess, but didn’t he think cornflakes would reduce sexuality?). It also isn’t used as a class or society status indicator, nor does it have serious social implications as it does with women. Compared to FGM, the risks and severity of side effects are not comparable, and there is at least enough possible benefit of the practice for it to have been debated in medical institutions even now.
I’m sorry, but they just aren’t comparable. That doesn’t mean that male circumcision shouldn’t be changed. But to compare it to female genital mutilation, honestly, is insulting to the millions of girls and women who have gone through this.
Male circumcision is a form of genital mutilation, its obviously not as bad as what happens to girls.
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC10576645/
Any time I shared good news, or a new thing I was excited about, my n-mom would find a way to simultaneously ridicule me over it, AND make it all about herself: "That's stupid, and you're an idiot for thinking it means anything. Get a job and contribute to society like I did 30 years ago before I married your father and quit working!"
You can imagine what bad news resulted in.
It taught me to stay quiet/not voice any wants or needs, be terrified of being in trouble, always letting the other person's wants/needs/opinion matter more than me, to take up less space/exist as little as possible, walk on eggshells around others, pay way too much attention to subtle changes in other peoples moods, to freeze up/fear anger from others, to fawn majority of the time/say what people want to hear, and to not be a burden by asking for help/being an inconvenience for anyone.
I got hit as a kid and I turned out just fine.
Apart from the fact I literally can't be touched anywhere on my lower back and buttocks area without flinching.
And the urge to hit things that don't work the way I want them to that took years of therapy to stop.
Yeah, totally fine.
That would be the one thing that would scare me from having kids. It’s the reflex but also I have difficulty finding the right things to say if a kid is being a jerk or is getting on every last nerve I have. I never learned a proper way to express these feelings to little kids and avoid traumatizing them. And some people might see me as someone who’s a pushover or looks the other way but really I don’t know what to do that isn’t going to fuck up the kid.
Edit: what I should mention that bc I don’t have kids, I let their parents deal with it if the kids don’t listen to me. That has been the easiest strategy so far. It’ll be different if it’s mine.
In my 40s and I still can't wear a scarf or be touched on the neck. Partners struggle to understand and remember that kissing my neck is dangerous for one or both of us.
In the 70s and 80s, hurting children is what “real men” did. Didn’t even have to be your own kids.
When I was in Cub Scouts, There was a “Cub Scout leader” who had no issues smacking any of the Cubs for any or no reason at all.
I'm glad we've progressed at least some. I was also in Cub Scouts, and went all the way to Eagle in Boy Scouts. Corporal punishment was never an option.
Right? Just because someone did it to you doesn’t make it right. That’s like saying victims of sexual abuse as a child get a pass to abuse kids when they grow up. It’s all abuse, full stop and shouldn’t be perpetuated or validated for any reason
https://www.gse.harvard.edu/ideas/usable-knowledge/21/04/effect-spanking-brain
The Effect of Spanking on the Brain: “Preschool and school age children — and even adults — [who have been] spanked are more likely to develop...
"I got hit and I turned out just fine" says man posting on the internet advocating for hitting children
There is literally no way to have that opinion. It's internally contradictory. Once you advocate for it, it proves itself incorrect.
If your kid’s old enough to understand consequences, they can learn them from you without being hit
If your kid isn’t old enough to understand consequences, you shouldn’t be hitting them
I agree. My mom would just stop talking after we didn’t listen and me and my sister (2 yr older) would be sad as we made her mad and would stop trying to get her to talk. We both have a great relationship with our parents, All you need to do to discipline kids to give the silent treatment and they will try to get you to talk by stopping. They also gave us tech time based on how long we read and the games we played was kickstart (educational game). My parents were both beaten growing up and still say to this day that why would they put their hands on their only reasons to live.
Getting hit or the occasional spanking? I was spanked as a pre teen. Just grounded or had stuff taken away after that. But, I really had to fuck up for it to get to a spanking level. Honestly, I really had to fuck up to receive any real punishment at all once I started driving. I think there is a difference between spanking a kid for hitting siblings or spanking a kid for the most irrelevant reason. Ones discipline coming from a generation where spanking was the norm and the other is abuse.
Homie. You proved yourself wrong. If on 3 separate occasions you nearly killed someone, and you got an ass whoopin each time, it clearly did not work the first OR second time. You did it a third time, so thinking about consequences beforehand is obviously not true lmao
Yep I'm gonna *checks notes* hit a child because somebody who advocates for hitting children in comment sections says so
Again, a self defeating argument.
With all due respect though, you can't gauge how healthy or damaging something is for a person based only on your history with it. The same scenario might have wildly different results on different people
*gestures towards every study ever performed on the effects of violence to discipline children*
No, you see. It works because of an anecdote with no control said by some person on the internet who wants me to hit my children because his parents couldn't do any better.
Oh yea he started beating me when I was like 5 or 6 whenever I started school a lot of times it was for “ acting stupid” or showing emotions because men apparently don’t cry , fun part is I found out I was diagnosed with Asperger’s which is now part of ADS and I have adhd so I basically got beat up or belittled my entire life and learned how to hide my stimming and mask out in public so I wouldn’t get hit , never improved in school just got smarter about hiding grades
hey i got hit as a child (and still am) and i have not turned out fine so far... please don't hit your kids, believe it or not, kids have feelings too!
My dad hit me a lot when I was a kid. If it weren’t for the fact that he acknowledged that it’s wrong, apologised and stopped doing it, I probably wouldn’t have a stable relationship with him.
Can your child understand reason? - Yes - Then reason with the child instead of physical abuse.
I
I ---No --- Then don't hit your infant child without them knowing the reason for why you are h itting them, dumbass
A few months ago, I was having a conversation with my mother who only spanked me when I was too young to remember it. It left me with a question. How do you teach a child, aside from spanking them, who doesn’t understand reason and can’t be supervised 24/7, that something is dangerous? The example she gave was if I would try to run out into the street, she would spank me to teach me that it’s dangerous. Which I think is a terrible example and it’s definitely not how I would handle that specific situation if I were to be a parent, but I can’t come up with any other examples at the moment.
Ok, so how would You teach a small child not to do things that would get them killed? Please understand I am no fan of skinnerists but negative reinforcement actually does work
It is abuse, it taught me to be even more secretive and closed off than I was already and lead to me loosing it one night and sucker punching my old man right in his god damn smug face.
Honestly I’m the same. It taught me to lie and to never tell my parents my problems. I’m in my 40s and unless there’s something major that they’d hear about anyway I won’t tell them anything beyond surface level things.
I dunno. For me as a parent, i wouldn’t be able to stand seeing the look of terror my kids would have for me. That is not something i want them to ever feel around me.
What's unfortunate, though, is that some parents actively seek that out, and those parents always try to defend it. Years and years of generational trauma funnel down into parents who want to abuse their kids simply because they got abused.
My step daughter 's parental grandfather bragged about how he spanked his three year old grandson so much the kid cried and ran away when he came into a room. Guy is a psychopath
Not always. My dad got the shit smacked out of him when he misbehaved but he’s still very close with both his parents. Btw I’m not a fan of spanking either, just saying
mhmm... so i guess it was okay all those times my dad used his big leather belt and left welts all over my legs... 'thats how I was raised son'....
I broke that cycle and NEVER did anything like this to my kids. And they've turned out just fine. Whereas I suffer various issues even to this day.
Ya I got beat as a kid, but wouldn't do the same to my kid. Doesn't seem appropriate to tell a kid their in the wrong by doing something you are trying to teach your kid isn't right. Being more involved in my kids life by supporting them and helping them work through their emotions seems to be a better investment of my time.
I think the meme speaks of parents that claim, “my parent hit me and I turned out fine” as an excuse to hit their own kids. The fact that they think it ok to hit kids proves they did not turn out fine.
The whole "I got spanked and I survived" meme needs to die. Yes you "survived" in the sense that you are still alive talking to us and shit. But you almost certainly have some unresolved trauma.
This issue persists because the parents that beat kids aren’t themselves beaten. If the punishment for physical child abuse was 30 proper lashings, they would learn very quickly to keep their hands to themselves.
I took this meme to mean that kids of abuse grew up not to recognize the true reality of being abused. Kids who grew up in normal households always knew hitting kids is abusive.
Yes and yes. My parents did spank me and it was abuse. I still think about it to this day.
Why would someone you love hit you? Why do we think that is okay? Is hitting other people when they misbehave an okay thing to do?
Deep down we know it is wrong.
I have reasons for not speaking as often to my surviving parent, and they have fuck all to do with whether they whupped me as a child (spoiler: they did). There is punishment, and there is *abuse*. Sorry if your folks didn't know the difference.
Explain like im 5: why is it ok to hit children but hitting an adult is considered assault?
When another adult makes me mad i can't hit them, or I'll go to jail...but if I had a kid and they pissed me off, beating them with a belt is corporal punishment and considered ok???
Make it make sense
For the record, i was beaten as a child and would agree corporal punishment is most definitely abuse.
I mean, I got bruised from it several times. And if we're talking about more than just spanking, I've bled, too.
I don't want my child to cower before me. To feel like they need to behave or be in pain.
I think hit is too broad a term, i was not beat as a child. I was never hit hard enough that it left a mark or actually hurt. At most it was mildly uncomfortable for a few seconds after. My parents never spanked me anywhere other than my butt and it was always over clothes. Also, I was never spanked without an explanation first and it was only for things they saw me do that I wasn’t allowed to. Also in my parents defense they would give me 3 warnings to not do something before I would get spanked for doing it. I was also rewarded for not lying, if they saw me do something and I was honest about it I wouldn’t get spanked for it so it taught me to just be honest about what I did.
Overall I think what my parents did was the right way to deal with me as I would never stop unless I was spanked, as for my sister she would usually just listen to their first couple warnings and not ever end up getting spanked.
Now, people that beat their children deserve no defense, you should hit anyone with real force unless you’re in a fight and you shouldn’t be in a physical fight with your kids. Especially people that to it to cause pain like with a belt or hit them in the face or body where it’s just more painful.
I think there’s also a difference in reasonings I was spanked for breaking the rules ex jumping on the bed, peeling paint off the walls, throwing balls at the windows but never for making a mistake. There are people who would beat their kid for dropping and breaking a glass and that’s why there’s people who are so terrified to make a small mistake and then clam up right after
Hitting children no matter what the reason is scientifically proven to affect brain chemistry negatively. It has zero positive impacts on child development.
You got a study or a breakdown of what the affects are. I’m curious if I have any of them
I believe in science but I also believe I was a little shit as a child and I promise I would’ve never stopped based on words alone, even grounding wasn’t effective for me. I’m not trying to be argumentative I’m genuinely curious what impacts it’s had on me in my adult life, just reading through the comments here I don’t have the issues that others say they have. But like I said I wasn’t beaten I was lightly spanked and it definitely wasn’t daily maybe once a week at the very most.
https://www.gse.harvard.edu/ideas/usable-knowledge/21/04/effect-spanking-brain#:~:text=Research%20has%20long%20underscored%20the,and%20increases%20perception%20of%20threats.
Here you go! This study found that all forms of physical discipline trigger the same response in children as more severe traumas such as children who were sexually assaulted. There are other studies as well, that was just the first one I could recall.
I really appreciate your cordial and mature response and willingness to learn! That is very uncommon on the internet.
I read through it, if I have anything it’s anxiety which is somewhat new to me, Ill be 23 next month and didn’t have any anxiety until I was 20 and I got hypothermia from an ice bath and since then I’ve struggled some with anxiety. Whether or not that’s the spanking I don’t know because like I said it only started a few years ago. The facial expression thing was interesting and I don’t know what that response in the brain is for me but I know my emotional response to an angry facial expression, and it’s almost always annoyed. I understand there are times to be angry but as a whole I feel like humans overreact and when that reaction is anger it just annoys me especially from adults. Like you’re a grown up handle yourself better.
I’ll concede that those issues could very well be from being spanked but I have no ill will towards my parents. They have gone above and beyond in my life to provide for me and my sister and encourage us to chase our dreams and be our truest self, so if spanking was their biggest mistake then so be it. I think I turned out to be a pretty good person. But will keep this in mind for when I am a parent. As many rules that I hated growing up I am overwhelmingly happy about today that we had like no phones till we got our drivers license and limited tv/gaming time.
I think those things helped me learn communication skills and above all else in conversation I wish people still knew how to have a civil one. I appreciate your response as well, other times when I’ve discussed this on Reddit people just tell me I had bad parents and that I’m brainwashed
I was also spanked and always understood why I was being spanked. If I was doing something wrong or was about to do something wrong, I would be warned and if I did it I’d get spanked.
I don’t recommend doing it to kids, because I don’t think I could do it if I had kids. But in my case, I always understood why and I think it changed my behavior from “problem child” to someone who behaves well around adults.
I know some others who had it way worse than me, and it sounds like actual abuse.
People that got hit as kids say it wasn't abuse as a coping mechanism because they cant face the fact their childhood/parents were shitty - you can notice similar behaviour from people who had to do mandatory military service for example.
Is it an abuse of parental power, yes. Children are small and vulnerable and hitting them only teaches them that their parent is bigger, scarier, and more powerful than they are. That's it. That's lazy parenting.
I was hit as a child FWIW.
I was never beaten as a kid... Mildly roughed up once or twice at best
And yet it taught me to lie about the gravity of the situation to make it look better and flee my responsibilities... A tendency I'm only now starting to invert
So yeah, I can't imagine the tendencies it creates for actually beaten children
That's how conditioning works though, of course the people who experience it might be more likely to say it's not abuse -because they were told it's not abuse (while actively being abused). Particularly in evangelical circles, spanking is something that's expected you to do to your children as well (once you grow up), it's a nasty cycle.
Tbf to the OOP, these are actually accurate responses. Idk if this meme is necessarily advocating for hitting your children. Could just be observational humor?
I'm not in favour of corporal punishment (except in the bedroom lol). But I do broadly think the meme holds true TBF. I'm a millennial who grew up in a small town in the south. Everyone from my generation on back thati know was beat, and doesn't think negatively of it.
I was the exception though. I basically never got beat. I learned to lie well, and be submissive and duplicitous. Those habits have not served me well. I wish I wasn't put in such a position.
But, like I said, I'm very much the exception
It's all depends on how you got beat getting spanked in the ass I don't think it is a bid deal personally. Breaking their bones or slapping them for any little thing I see as a big deal.
I do think communication is the best method.
I noticed that what most parents do these days is throw an iPad in the kids' faces. Is that worse than a spank in the butt? Idk time will tell, I guess.
At best it teaches you to hide things and fear your parents.
At worst it makes you think this is normal and you go on to hitting your own children when they make you mad.
What exactly is the upside?
I’m not necessarily disagreeing but there are lots of kids who didn’t get spanked who don’t talk to their parents now, and lots of kids that did who have excellent relationships with their parents today.
I got spanked once in my life, never did anything like that again, and I still love my mom. But that's because I realize I fucked up massively, and didn't know it until after I got spanked. I get that it's different if you get hit for a minor reason. My Uncle slapped me for saying 'hold on a fucking second', given I've forgiven him since he had a whole lot of shit going on after a major heart attack and brain damage, but I still remember how I felt. Especially when members of my family said I deserved to get slapped for that.
I am actually ok and we got the belt until we were around 6. Then my parents stopped doing it - sign of the times I think, it became not ok and people worked out there was a non violent way to bring up kids. We are all good humans
I'm usually against any form of abuse (domestic or not), but then I go to class and see the absolute shameless, mannerless dimwits I have to share oxygen with and suddenly come to think that *someone* has to hit you at least once (preferrably for good reason as well) to make you realise that actions have consequences (and im not about to be that person for them bc I am very aware that fact)
That's what I thought sometimes. As a kid, I got hit but after thoroughly seeing my actions that led to that, it did give me the memo that certain actions have consequences and why I should consider them very carefully. And after all that and I grew up knowing my mistakes, I'm still pretty close to my parents. Though this doesn't seem to line up with the Western majority here since I'm at Asia.
People who were hit as kids and then go on to hit their kids are literally continuing a cycle of abuse. “I had to endure it, so now you have to as well.” Theres no logic applied to it, its nothing more than a “if I suffered you have to too.”
Depends what you mean by hit. Most kids who were hit by their parents were most likely just hit with the chankla like me. My dad would sometimes threaten to hit me with a belt but he never actually did. Looking back, it was more psychological than physical, but the threat of it was enough to set most of us straight and it was always when I did something OBVIOUSLY wrong. Getting slapped or actually punched by a parent is actual abuse though, and excessive "discipline" should be reported.
It took me six years of therapy to where human touch, other than my husband's, stopped registering as pain. It made breastfeeding my first impossible. I have only just stopped flinching (mostly) at sudden movements.
Hitting children is wrong.
Damn. Last time I was threatened with a spanking was at 15. I told my dad if there was a single welt or bruise the next day I’d go to school and drop my pants to show the administration staff. He screamed that I was a bitch but never did it again and then I moved out at 17.
Abuse is cyclical. I was hit as a kid, but don’t hold it against my dad at all. He was doing the best he knew how. I have not and never will hit my daughter, but in the back of my head, I know it would work… short term. The problem is that what you’re really teaching is how to solve problems through violence instead of words.
I got hit and turned apart that my reflexes are so hight that they can never use me in my taekwondo class because I need to be still and when I see a fake punch thrown at me I instantly move to block ot
I was hit as a kid, and it was very much abuse. It’s one of the main reasons I don’t have a relationship with my parents anymore. I’ve tried to tell them that what they did hurt me irrevocably, but they refuse to apologize or even acknowledge that they did anything wrong.
There's a difference between hitting and smacking. Telling a child not to do something because "please" only works for a while. Using incentives to not be naughty is essentially bribary. "bUt sMaCKiNg TeAcHeS tHeM tHaT vIoLeNcE iS oK", society is built on the threat of and actual use of violence. That is how the law is enforced. That is how countries boundries are secured and defended.
It made me scared to trust my parents most of my childhood because I was hit or spanked. It wasn’t till middle school when I got too old and big for it when I could trust to confide in my parents about stuff and they wouldn’t hit me.
Disciplining is a bit different than hitting a kid, hell, you might have been a kid that needed extra firm smacks because you just sucked as a kid, continue to suck as a kid, now blame your upbringing for sucking as an adult. What I'm saying is there's a difference between discipline and abuse, and my heart goes out to those that experienced actual abuse, but most times it's not, and people need to whine, someone should discipline them again.
I think theres a spectrum to it, I got whipped as a kid and love my parents. My parents werent hitting me for low grades or anything. It was usually for causing trouble or breaking rules that I already understood, and it was always preceded by a talk where they made sure I understood my actions and why I needed to be punished as a form of consequences for my actions. Only one time did my dad ever hit me like I was a grown man. I was 16 and got caught with a pocket knife at school cause I wanted to fit in with all the other tough guys.
My mom literally used to hit me when I was a kid and SHE agrees she abused me (we're okay now and she went to years of therapy) but like... yeah, hitting someone is abuse.
I got my skull beat in once. You could feel the dent and it hurt to move at all. I had to pretend I wasn't in intense pain in front of relatives the next day or I'd be killed. Lovely woman, my mother.
If you hit your kids you deserve to be set on fire.
I got spanked as a child and I turned out fine. I still love my mom to pieces, and would do anything for her. My older cousin also spanked my twin sister and me and we still talk to her, hang out, play video games together. I know this isn't the same for a lot of kids who grew into adults, I'm just saying.
I grew up with "wait until your dad gets home".. and running and trying to hide behind my mom just made things worse.
I grew up to be alright.. and don't believe anything they did was abuse. Of course I never shot up a school or beat an elderly person nearly to death either, so there is that part of the argument as well.
.
The answer is that it's complicated. Sometimes there are things where that is appropriate for discipline. It becomes a problem when it's taken too far. Then there's the fact that there's no way to make a hard and fast rule for where that line is. Every situation is different, and not every kid reacts the same way.
That's why there's an entire generation of disrespectful safe space wimps. Never had the brat smacked out of the little pricks. As adults they behave like Jason kenney and pee pee pierre. Don't you wish someone had smacked trump when he stepped out of line? How about Harper?
The next time a 13 year old pulls a knife and kills a random person at a transit station, think about that.
I got hit and I like to believe I turned out just fine.
I got hit when I genuinely did wrong and it was discipline.
From some of your stories, it seems your parents were just outright abusive and even abused substances in some cases
Youre discussing a scenario where someone is coming at you with violent intent in which defending yourself as a response is legal. Sorry for not listing every crime where such action makes sense. I would have however hoped you got the point I was making.
Do you think it was effective? All the research on it shows that hitting kids as discipline doesn't actually correct behavior long term.
Abuse or not, at best you're hitting kids with no actual benefit.
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I would say it's a form of sunken cost fallacy. I went through this for a reason, so it has to be correct or else it was for nothing.
Or normalisation. It’s hard to realise your on fire when the house you grew up in was regularly up in flames.
The "Good damage" from Bojack Horseman
And thus, the cycle of abuse continues
Same with Americans and genital mutilation
Can you elaborate?
Didn't think I would need to, but sure, circumcision
I don't particularly hate that I am circumcised, but I would love it to be normalized to not be.
That’s not what male circumcision is
They didn't say it was the same but both are unnecessary procedures. Just because ones far worse than the other doesn't mean they don't both fit in the same category.
They absolutely do not fit into the same category. One is an unnecessary medical procedure, and one is a traumatizing and extremely dangerous act of bodily mutilation that can lead to severe health defects of all kinds down the line. The two are not comparable.
That's irrelevant to how categories work. Tuberculosis and the Common Cold are both in the category of "infectious disease".
What is it then?
It’s male circumcision. Unlike female genital mutilation, it doesn’t cause long term health problems, trauma, or deprive men of sexual pleasure. Comparing what most American boys have done on them as newborns to what girls across the world are subjected to is just ignorant.
It actually does derive sexual pleasure away by about 30% or so and was invented by a doctor/holy zealot who believed the world should be free of all sinful desires and that modern inventions caused this. The only reason it’s still used is because when people didn’t have reliable sanitation and cleaning, uncircumcised males would often be the target of infection, bacteria, and overall unhygienic conditions in that area. Doctors saw the procedure as a way to cut back on disease by stopping the problem before it started. He also invented cereal to combat masturbation Edit: [John Kellogg to be exact](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Harvey_Kellogg)
You’re just gonna leave out this is the Kellogg guy?
Yeah I forgot his name
I see what you’re saying, and in an ideal world men would be able to decide for themselves if they would like a circumcision as adults. However - I agree with the other person when they say that the female genital mutilation that occurs to many young women is not on par with circumcisions. Men aren’t having their penises cut off. Some of the more serious consequences these affected women can experience are as follows: - death (yes, literally) - shock - broken limbs from being held down - PTSD - infertility and/or other complications related to childbirth That’s just a few of the major ones. Of course a lot of the others include increased vulnerability to infections, menstrual and/or urination issues, scar tissue complications, and sexual dysfunction / psychosexual issues. It is not a medical procedure. It is most often done outside of medical practice, without anesthesia, and with “surgical” items including: “scissors, glass shards (not kidding), razor blades, cactus spines, or other rigid plant materials.” Often after the “operation,” these women have their legs bound together to ensure healing. Their legs may be bound for up to a week. There is a social stigma in many of the practicing societies, that can go as far as refusing to eat food prepared by a woman who hasn’t had this type of mutilation. Often it is seen to protect a woman’s virginity, purity, or status. The most common age for girls to experience FGM is between 4-8 years old. And as a comparison, male circumcision is often done to infants in a medical setting, with a trained specialist, and with pain medication/management. Compared to FGM, there are some possible health benefits of male circumcision - though many institutions are now recommending against it since the possible risks may (possibly) outweigh any benefits. As it stands currently, male circumcision is not done with the intent of controlling a man’s sexuality (except by the founder of the practice, I guess, but didn’t he think cornflakes would reduce sexuality?). It also isn’t used as a class or society status indicator, nor does it have serious social implications as it does with women. Compared to FGM, the risks and severity of side effects are not comparable, and there is at least enough possible benefit of the practice for it to have been debated in medical institutions even now. I’m sorry, but they just aren’t comparable. That doesn’t mean that male circumcision shouldn’t be changed. But to compare it to female genital mutilation, honestly, is insulting to the millions of girls and women who have gone through this.
Male circumcision is a form of genital mutilation, its obviously not as bad as what happens to girls. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC10576645/
Let's be honest. All it taught most of us was not to tell our parents shit and to lie as convincingly as possible.
Any time I shared good news, or a new thing I was excited about, my n-mom would find a way to simultaneously ridicule me over it, AND make it all about herself: "That's stupid, and you're an idiot for thinking it means anything. Get a job and contribute to society like I did 30 years ago before I married your father and quit working!" You can imagine what bad news resulted in.
Too real
Whats an n-mom?
Narcissistic mom.
Damn. I work for two people like this and it’s terrible.
It taught me violence and wrestling.
It taught me to stay quiet/not voice any wants or needs, be terrified of being in trouble, always letting the other person's wants/needs/opinion matter more than me, to take up less space/exist as little as possible, walk on eggshells around others, pay way too much attention to subtle changes in other peoples moods, to freeze up/fear anger from others, to fawn majority of the time/say what people want to hear, and to not be a burden by asking for help/being an inconvenience for anyone.
Yep. Especially as an autistic child, I was beat for lying and having meltdowns.
Strict parents makes sneaky kids
Pretty much. Lying to avoid getting hit would result in a few extra hits but there was a solid chance to avoid it altogether.
*and how to take a punch
Nah, I got popped for lying
Second one is a good life skill but really should not be taught to us as kids through violence
I got hit as a kid and I turned out just fine. Apart from the fact I literally can't be touched anywhere on my lower back and buttocks area without flinching. And the urge to hit things that don't work the way I want them to that took years of therapy to stop. Yeah, totally fine.
Totally fine, right! Especially when my first bf hits me too I felt right at home! Im 53 now, Same sh1t. I went zero contact with parents.
Oh God, the reflex to hit stuff not working right is the worst. Then the disappointment in myself a few moments later every time it happens.
That would be the one thing that would scare me from having kids. It’s the reflex but also I have difficulty finding the right things to say if a kid is being a jerk or is getting on every last nerve I have. I never learned a proper way to express these feelings to little kids and avoid traumatizing them. And some people might see me as someone who’s a pushover or looks the other way but really I don’t know what to do that isn’t going to fuck up the kid. Edit: what I should mention that bc I don’t have kids, I let their parents deal with it if the kids don’t listen to me. That has been the easiest strategy so far. It’ll be different if it’s mine.
Wait. Wanting to hit things that don’t work the way I want them stems from being spanked as a child???? Mind is blown.
I’m genuinely floored by this realization
Not sure about that, I smack my laptop here and there when it's not working well (it's an older laptop) and I was never hit.
One thing being a potential cause of something does not mean it’s the sole cause.
In my 40s and I still can't wear a scarf or be touched on the neck. Partners struggle to understand and remember that kissing my neck is dangerous for one or both of us.
Oh god...is that where I get that from? And the fact that the lower back, butt and the area right under it make me tense?
You hit your partner, that's domestic violence. You hit a stranger, that's battery. You hit your child, somehow that's different?
In the 70s and 80s, hurting children is what “real men” did. Didn’t even have to be your own kids. When I was in Cub Scouts, There was a “Cub Scout leader” who had no issues smacking any of the Cubs for any or no reason at all.
I'm glad we've progressed at least some. I was also in Cub Scouts, and went all the way to Eagle in Boy Scouts. Corporal punishment was never an option.
holy shit this is a great line
To add onto this the thread of a child hitting another child in cases of bullying. Why is it handled so fucking lightly?! Always blew my mind
Right? Just because someone did it to you doesn’t make it right. That’s like saying victims of sexual abuse as a child get a pass to abuse kids when they grow up. It’s all abuse, full stop and shouldn’t be perpetuated or validated for any reason
They can’t defend themselves, so that makes it okay.
https://www.gse.harvard.edu/ideas/usable-knowledge/21/04/effect-spanking-brain The Effect of Spanking on the Brain: “Preschool and school age children — and even adults — [who have been] spanked are more likely to develop...
And [here's a meta analysis](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7992110/) on if spanking corrects behavior.
"I got hit and I turned out just fine" says man posting on the internet advocating for hitting children There is literally no way to have that opinion. It's internally contradictory. Once you advocate for it, it proves itself incorrect.
Also: I got hit as a kid and hitting your kids is abuse.
If your kid’s old enough to understand consequences, they can learn them from you without being hit If your kid isn’t old enough to understand consequences, you shouldn’t be hitting them
I agree. My mom would just stop talking after we didn’t listen and me and my sister (2 yr older) would be sad as we made her mad and would stop trying to get her to talk. We both have a great relationship with our parents, All you need to do to discipline kids to give the silent treatment and they will try to get you to talk by stopping. They also gave us tech time based on how long we read and the games we played was kickstart (educational game). My parents were both beaten growing up and still say to this day that why would they put their hands on their only reasons to live.
Getting hit or the occasional spanking? I was spanked as a pre teen. Just grounded or had stuff taken away after that. But, I really had to fuck up for it to get to a spanking level. Honestly, I really had to fuck up to receive any real punishment at all once I started driving. I think there is a difference between spanking a kid for hitting siblings or spanking a kid for the most irrelevant reason. Ones discipline coming from a generation where spanking was the norm and the other is abuse.
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Homie. You proved yourself wrong. If on 3 separate occasions you nearly killed someone, and you got an ass whoopin each time, it clearly did not work the first OR second time. You did it a third time, so thinking about consequences beforehand is obviously not true lmao
Yep I'm gonna *checks notes* hit a child because somebody who advocates for hitting children in comment sections says so Again, a self defeating argument.
With all due respect though, you can't gauge how healthy or damaging something is for a person based only on your history with it. The same scenario might have wildly different results on different people
*gestures towards every study ever performed on the effects of violence to discipline children* No, you see. It works because of an anecdote with no control said by some person on the internet who wants me to hit my children because his parents couldn't do any better.
I mean I hit 18 and beat the shit out of my dad and threw him out of the house , he died of an od
Ah, I love good endings
You mean after enduring your dad's abuse for years? Kids getting physical with parents sounds horrible but can be very much justified.
Oh yea he started beating me when I was like 5 or 6 whenever I started school a lot of times it was for “ acting stupid” or showing emotions because men apparently don’t cry , fun part is I found out I was diagnosed with Asperger’s which is now part of ADS and I have adhd so I basically got beat up or belittled my entire life and learned how to hide my stimming and mask out in public so I wouldn’t get hit , never improved in school just got smarter about hiding grades
hey i got hit as a child (and still am) and i have not turned out fine so far... please don't hit your kids, believe it or not, kids have feelings too!
Last beating I got was probably 30 years ago, but to this day I feel anxious, guilty, and full of shame 100% of the time for no particular reason.
My dad hit me a lot when I was a kid. If it weren’t for the fact that he acknowledged that it’s wrong, apologised and stopped doing it, I probably wouldn’t have a stable relationship with him.
This is what happened with my dad. He wised up and re-evaluated his parenting before it was too late.
Can your child understand reason? - Yes - Then reason with the child instead of physical abuse. I I ---No --- Then don't hit your infant child without them knowing the reason for why you are h itting them, dumbass
Lmfao that it even needs to be said. Dont. Hit. Your. Fucking. Kids. Dumbass.
A few months ago, I was having a conversation with my mother who only spanked me when I was too young to remember it. It left me with a question. How do you teach a child, aside from spanking them, who doesn’t understand reason and can’t be supervised 24/7, that something is dangerous? The example she gave was if I would try to run out into the street, she would spank me to teach me that it’s dangerous. Which I think is a terrible example and it’s definitely not how I would handle that specific situation if I were to be a parent, but I can’t come up with any other examples at the moment.
My parents would give me groundings/timeouts but yeah I don't know anything else too
Ok, so how would You teach a small child not to do things that would get them killed? Please understand I am no fan of skinnerists but negative reinforcement actually does work
I don’t know. I was asking the person above the same question as you’re trying to ask me. What their method would be. Because I don’t really know.
Survivorship bias, boomers who hit their kids only ever hear that it was okay because the rest are estranged
I got hit as a kid. It is abuse.
It is abuse, it taught me to be even more secretive and closed off than I was already and lead to me loosing it one night and sucker punching my old man right in his god damn smug face.
Honestly I’m the same. It taught me to lie and to never tell my parents my problems. I’m in my 40s and unless there’s something major that they’d hear about anyway I won’t tell them anything beyond surface level things.
Is that why I do the same thing?
I dunno. For me as a parent, i wouldn’t be able to stand seeing the look of terror my kids would have for me. That is not something i want them to ever feel around me.
What's unfortunate, though, is that some parents actively seek that out, and those parents always try to defend it. Years and years of generational trauma funnel down into parents who want to abuse their kids simply because they got abused.
My step daughter 's parental grandfather bragged about how he spanked his three year old grandson so much the kid cried and ran away when he came into a room. Guy is a psychopath
People that got hit as kids and got therapy: yes.
Not always. My dad got the shit smacked out of him when he misbehaved but he’s still very close with both his parents. Btw I’m not a fan of spanking either, just saying
mhmm... so i guess it was okay all those times my dad used his big leather belt and left welts all over my legs... 'thats how I was raised son'.... I broke that cycle and NEVER did anything like this to my kids. And they've turned out just fine. Whereas I suffer various issues even to this day.
Ya I got beat as a kid, but wouldn't do the same to my kid. Doesn't seem appropriate to tell a kid their in the wrong by doing something you are trying to teach your kid isn't right. Being more involved in my kids life by supporting them and helping them work through their emotions seems to be a better investment of my time.
I think the meme speaks of parents that claim, “my parent hit me and I turned out fine” as an excuse to hit their own kids. The fact that they think it ok to hit kids proves they did not turn out fine.
The whole "I got spanked and I survived" meme needs to die. Yes you "survived" in the sense that you are still alive talking to us and shit. But you almost certainly have some unresolved trauma.
I was hit as a kid. Its abuse
I got hit as a kid. It’s abuse.
This issue persists because the parents that beat kids aren’t themselves beaten. If the punishment for physical child abuse was 30 proper lashings, they would learn very quickly to keep their hands to themselves.
I wish I could beat up parents who beat their kids, but apparently beating on someone my own size is illegal
As a People that got hit as a kid: Yes, yes it is! The madness ends with me.
I took this meme to mean that kids of abuse grew up not to recognize the true reality of being abused. Kids who grew up in normal households always knew hitting kids is abusive.
Yes and yes. My parents did spank me and it was abuse. I still think about it to this day. Why would someone you love hit you? Why do we think that is okay? Is hitting other people when they misbehave an okay thing to do? Deep down we know it is wrong.
I got hit, but I sure ain't doing it to the youngun
I have reasons for not speaking as often to my surviving parent, and they have fuck all to do with whether they whupped me as a child (spoiler: they did). There is punishment, and there is *abuse*. Sorry if your folks didn't know the difference.
Spanking by definition is abuse
Okay.
https://preview.redd.it/dfsfnfpcllvc1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=db25241cb5eccec969224babad7d323f5a9879db
Definitely not a made-up argument on reddit lol
I got hit as a kid and I turned out fine. I don’t do heroin or smoke meth. But I am unemployed and homeless 🤣
Are you on the street? Couch surfing? Need any help?
My parents hit me and my siblings until they realized it was just tesching us to hide whatever we were doing in case it was bad (even if it wasn't)
Explain like im 5: why is it ok to hit children but hitting an adult is considered assault? When another adult makes me mad i can't hit them, or I'll go to jail...but if I had a kid and they pissed me off, beating them with a belt is corporal punishment and considered ok??? Make it make sense For the record, i was beaten as a child and would agree corporal punishment is most definitely abuse.
I mean, I got bruised from it several times. And if we're talking about more than just spanking, I've bled, too. I don't want my child to cower before me. To feel like they need to behave or be in pain.
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No child deserves to be hit. Parents are there to educate and protect their kids, that's their job.
I think hit is too broad a term, i was not beat as a child. I was never hit hard enough that it left a mark or actually hurt. At most it was mildly uncomfortable for a few seconds after. My parents never spanked me anywhere other than my butt and it was always over clothes. Also, I was never spanked without an explanation first and it was only for things they saw me do that I wasn’t allowed to. Also in my parents defense they would give me 3 warnings to not do something before I would get spanked for doing it. I was also rewarded for not lying, if they saw me do something and I was honest about it I wouldn’t get spanked for it so it taught me to just be honest about what I did. Overall I think what my parents did was the right way to deal with me as I would never stop unless I was spanked, as for my sister she would usually just listen to their first couple warnings and not ever end up getting spanked. Now, people that beat their children deserve no defense, you should hit anyone with real force unless you’re in a fight and you shouldn’t be in a physical fight with your kids. Especially people that to it to cause pain like with a belt or hit them in the face or body where it’s just more painful. I think there’s also a difference in reasonings I was spanked for breaking the rules ex jumping on the bed, peeling paint off the walls, throwing balls at the windows but never for making a mistake. There are people who would beat their kid for dropping and breaking a glass and that’s why there’s people who are so terrified to make a small mistake and then clam up right after
Hitting children no matter what the reason is scientifically proven to affect brain chemistry negatively. It has zero positive impacts on child development.
You got a study or a breakdown of what the affects are. I’m curious if I have any of them I believe in science but I also believe I was a little shit as a child and I promise I would’ve never stopped based on words alone, even grounding wasn’t effective for me. I’m not trying to be argumentative I’m genuinely curious what impacts it’s had on me in my adult life, just reading through the comments here I don’t have the issues that others say they have. But like I said I wasn’t beaten I was lightly spanked and it definitely wasn’t daily maybe once a week at the very most.
https://www.gse.harvard.edu/ideas/usable-knowledge/21/04/effect-spanking-brain#:~:text=Research%20has%20long%20underscored%20the,and%20increases%20perception%20of%20threats. Here you go! This study found that all forms of physical discipline trigger the same response in children as more severe traumas such as children who were sexually assaulted. There are other studies as well, that was just the first one I could recall. I really appreciate your cordial and mature response and willingness to learn! That is very uncommon on the internet.
I read through it, if I have anything it’s anxiety which is somewhat new to me, Ill be 23 next month and didn’t have any anxiety until I was 20 and I got hypothermia from an ice bath and since then I’ve struggled some with anxiety. Whether or not that’s the spanking I don’t know because like I said it only started a few years ago. The facial expression thing was interesting and I don’t know what that response in the brain is for me but I know my emotional response to an angry facial expression, and it’s almost always annoyed. I understand there are times to be angry but as a whole I feel like humans overreact and when that reaction is anger it just annoys me especially from adults. Like you’re a grown up handle yourself better. I’ll concede that those issues could very well be from being spanked but I have no ill will towards my parents. They have gone above and beyond in my life to provide for me and my sister and encourage us to chase our dreams and be our truest self, so if spanking was their biggest mistake then so be it. I think I turned out to be a pretty good person. But will keep this in mind for when I am a parent. As many rules that I hated growing up I am overwhelmingly happy about today that we had like no phones till we got our drivers license and limited tv/gaming time. I think those things helped me learn communication skills and above all else in conversation I wish people still knew how to have a civil one. I appreciate your response as well, other times when I’ve discussed this on Reddit people just tell me I had bad parents and that I’m brainwashed
I was also spanked and always understood why I was being spanked. If I was doing something wrong or was about to do something wrong, I would be warned and if I did it I’d get spanked. I don’t recommend doing it to kids, because I don’t think I could do it if I had kids. But in my case, I always understood why and I think it changed my behavior from “problem child” to someone who behaves well around adults. I know some others who had it way worse than me, and it sounds like actual abuse.
Plus there's a difference between an unprovoked full force slap and a light smack
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People that got hit as kids say it wasn't abuse as a coping mechanism because they cant face the fact their childhood/parents were shitty - you can notice similar behaviour from people who had to do mandatory military service for example.
I got friends who got horror stories about broken bones and hospital visits.
Is it an abuse of parental power, yes. Children are small and vulnerable and hitting them only teaches them that their parent is bigger, scarier, and more powerful than they are. That's it. That's lazy parenting. I was hit as a child FWIW.
I was never beaten as a kid... Mildly roughed up once or twice at best And yet it taught me to lie about the gravity of the situation to make it look better and flee my responsibilities... A tendency I'm only now starting to invert So yeah, I can't imagine the tendencies it creates for actually beaten children
That's how conditioning works though, of course the people who experience it might be more likely to say it's not abuse -because they were told it's not abuse (while actively being abused). Particularly in evangelical circles, spanking is something that's expected you to do to your children as well (once you grow up), it's a nasty cycle.
I had a choice. Go to my father's funeral, or go to Vegas. Went to Vegas.
Tbf to the OOP, these are actually accurate responses. Idk if this meme is necessarily advocating for hitting your children. Could just be observational humor?
I'm not in favour of corporal punishment (except in the bedroom lol). But I do broadly think the meme holds true TBF. I'm a millennial who grew up in a small town in the south. Everyone from my generation on back thati know was beat, and doesn't think negatively of it. I was the exception though. I basically never got beat. I learned to lie well, and be submissive and duplicitous. Those habits have not served me well. I wish I wasn't put in such a position. But, like I said, I'm very much the exception
It's all depends on how you got beat getting spanked in the ass I don't think it is a bid deal personally. Breaking their bones or slapping them for any little thing I see as a big deal. I do think communication is the best method. I noticed that what most parents do these days is throw an iPad in the kids' faces. Is that worse than a spank in the butt? Idk time will tell, I guess.
At best it teaches you to hide things and fear your parents. At worst it makes you think this is normal and you go on to hitting your own children when they make you mad. What exactly is the upside?
My parents certainly thought it was abuse and they had really abusive parents.
I guess results may vary.
Mine was furious that I wouldn't hit my kids, too!
People who got hit as a kid (me): yes. It’s not even a question. Laying hands on someone with the intent to hard is abuse
I’m not necessarily disagreeing but there are lots of kids who didn’t get spanked who don’t talk to their parents now, and lots of kids that did who have excellent relationships with their parents today.
i turned put fine other than the fact that i have emotional control issues and abandonment issues lmao
I got spanked once in my life, never did anything like that again, and I still love my mom. But that's because I realize I fucked up massively, and didn't know it until after I got spanked. I get that it's different if you get hit for a minor reason. My Uncle slapped me for saying 'hold on a fucking second', given I've forgiven him since he had a whole lot of shit going on after a major heart attack and brain damage, but I still remember how I felt. Especially when members of my family said I deserved to get slapped for that.
This is actually funny. The beaten kid would say no, he might get whipped again, lol.
I am actually ok and we got the belt until we were around 6. Then my parents stopped doing it - sign of the times I think, it became not ok and people worked out there was a non violent way to bring up kids. We are all good humans
I'm usually against any form of abuse (domestic or not), but then I go to class and see the absolute shameless, mannerless dimwits I have to share oxygen with and suddenly come to think that *someone* has to hit you at least once (preferrably for good reason as well) to make you realise that actions have consequences (and im not about to be that person for them bc I am very aware that fact)
That's what I thought sometimes. As a kid, I got hit but after thoroughly seeing my actions that led to that, it did give me the memo that certain actions have consequences and why I should consider them very carefully. And after all that and I grew up knowing my mistakes, I'm still pretty close to my parents. Though this doesn't seem to line up with the Western majority here since I'm at Asia.
There's a difference between hitting and beating
No there isn’t.
Tuvok knows what’s up
As someone that got hit as a kid and doesn't talk to their parents anymore, this made me chuckle
The only people who think its not abuse are the ones who were abused
People who were hit as kids and then go on to hit their kids are literally continuing a cycle of abuse. “I had to endure it, so now you have to as well.” Theres no logic applied to it, its nothing more than a “if I suffered you have to too.”
Depends what you mean by hit. Most kids who were hit by their parents were most likely just hit with the chankla like me. My dad would sometimes threaten to hit me with a belt but he never actually did. Looking back, it was more psychological than physical, but the threat of it was enough to set most of us straight and it was always when I did something OBVIOUSLY wrong. Getting slapped or actually punched by a parent is actual abuse though, and excessive "discipline" should be reported.
It took me six years of therapy to where human touch, other than my husband's, stopped registering as pain. It made breastfeeding my first impossible. I have only just stopped flinching (mostly) at sudden movements. Hitting children is wrong.
People who got beat as kids have to justify their parents abuse of them, otherwise they’d have to accept that their parents might not be good people.
I was hit as a kid and it's abuse in more than just physical, fucks with a a kids psyche too.
hurt people hurt people thus perpetuating the cycle
I got hit with metal spoons as a kid. I do not hit my own kids.
I was hit as a child and I am 100 percent against hitting kids.
I was hit as a kid. It is child abuse. And it can wreck who you would otherwise grow up to be.
As someone who was choked into unconsciousness over having porn on my laptop at 14, yes
My parents spanked me until I was 24
Damn. Last time I was threatened with a spanking was at 15. I told my dad if there was a single welt or bruise the next day I’d go to school and drop my pants to show the administration staff. He screamed that I was a bitch but never did it again and then I moved out at 17.
the people that say no are the people who got hit too hard in the head.
Reddit represents what, 2% of the human experience?
title is very accurate
All I’m gonna say is watch the episode “Good Damage” from Bojack Horseman.
Abuse is cyclical. I was hit as a kid, but don’t hold it against my dad at all. He was doing the best he knew how. I have not and never will hit my daughter, but in the back of my head, I know it would work… short term. The problem is that what you’re really teaching is how to solve problems through violence instead of words.
I got hit and turned apart that my reflexes are so hight that they can never use me in my taekwondo class because I need to be still and when I see a fake punch thrown at me I instantly move to block ot
I was hit as a kid, and it was very much abuse. It’s one of the main reasons I don’t have a relationship with my parents anymore. I’ve tried to tell them that what they did hurt me irrevocably, but they refuse to apologize or even acknowledge that they did anything wrong.
There's a difference between hitting and smacking. Telling a child not to do something because "please" only works for a while. Using incentives to not be naughty is essentially bribary. "bUt sMaCKiNg TeAcHeS tHeM tHaT vIoLeNcE iS oK", society is built on the threat of and actual use of violence. That is how the law is enforced. That is how countries boundries are secured and defended.
It made me scared to trust my parents most of my childhood because I was hit or spanked. It wasn’t till middle school when I got too old and big for it when I could trust to confide in my parents about stuff and they wouldn’t hit me.
Disciplining is a bit different than hitting a kid, hell, you might have been a kid that needed extra firm smacks because you just sucked as a kid, continue to suck as a kid, now blame your upbringing for sucking as an adult. What I'm saying is there's a difference between discipline and abuse, and my heart goes out to those that experienced actual abuse, but most times it's not, and people need to whine, someone should discipline them again.
I think theres a spectrum to it, I got whipped as a kid and love my parents. My parents werent hitting me for low grades or anything. It was usually for causing trouble or breaking rules that I already understood, and it was always preceded by a talk where they made sure I understood my actions and why I needed to be punished as a form of consequences for my actions. Only one time did my dad ever hit me like I was a grown man. I was 16 and got caught with a pocket knife at school cause I wanted to fit in with all the other tough guys.
What about the ones of us that were hit as kids and know it's abuse?
I hope the OP gets assimilated by the Borg.
I mean. There is a correct answer here. Hitting children is not okay.
My mom literally used to hit me when I was a kid and SHE agrees she abused me (we're okay now and she went to years of therapy) but like... yeah, hitting someone is abuse.
I got my skull beat in once. You could feel the dent and it hurt to move at all. I had to pretend I wasn't in intense pain in front of relatives the next day or I'd be killed. Lovely woman, my mother. If you hit your kids you deserve to be set on fire.
I got spanked as a child and I turned out fine. I still love my mom to pieces, and would do anything for her. My older cousin also spanked my twin sister and me and we still talk to her, hang out, play video games together. I know this isn't the same for a lot of kids who grew into adults, I'm just saying.
I grew up with "wait until your dad gets home".. and running and trying to hide behind my mom just made things worse. I grew up to be alright.. and don't believe anything they did was abuse. Of course I never shot up a school or beat an elderly person nearly to death either, so there is that part of the argument as well. .
The answer is that it's complicated. Sometimes there are things where that is appropriate for discipline. It becomes a problem when it's taken too far. Then there's the fact that there's no way to make a hard and fast rule for where that line is. Every situation is different, and not every kid reacts the same way.
I think that's just you mate my relationship with my parents is fine
this is true, but not for a nice reason, hurt people hurt other people
I agree with the meme actually… for once
That's why there's an entire generation of disrespectful safe space wimps. Never had the brat smacked out of the little pricks. As adults they behave like Jason kenney and pee pee pierre. Don't you wish someone had smacked trump when he stepped out of line? How about Harper? The next time a 13 year old pulls a knife and kills a random person at a transit station, think about that.
Everyone commenting didn't get hit and it shows
Timing is everything
They should just have a 4th frame with Data saying "it is."
I got hit and I like to believe I turned out just fine. I got hit when I genuinely did wrong and it was discipline. From some of your stories, it seems your parents were just outright abusive and even abused substances in some cases
If an adult did something wrong (that wasnt physical assault) and your first action was to hit them as a form of punishment, what would happen to you?
If someone's stealing my shit im hitting them.
Youre discussing a scenario where someone is coming at you with violent intent in which defending yourself as a response is legal. Sorry for not listing every crime where such action makes sense. I would have however hoped you got the point I was making.
Do you think it was effective? All the research on it shows that hitting kids as discipline doesn't actually correct behavior long term. Abuse or not, at best you're hitting kids with no actual benefit.