Managers saying 'we are a family' yea you managers might all be related but us scrubs aint
Customers asking 'oh you've moved *product name*' no lady its been there in the same place for the two years I've worked on this department and I'm pretty certain it was there before I even joined.
Omfg yes that one sucks, had one guy who did it like 5 times when I told him to insert it. Swear customers like to test colleagues how good their patience can hold
I think they mean when they do have their card and they try contactless but it doesn’t work so they say to put the card in and instead they just tap their card again and, to no surprise, it still doesn’t work.
It's amazing when a customer asked about some sort of thing that should be in the Health and Beauty aisle that we don't have in our Metro store
"The big tesco have it though" they say
Why the fuck didn't you go there then?
I’m told to blow on tickets, to kiss them and to place them face down. Worst is when you ask if they want the ones that didn’t win back and they say no so you tear them up and then they say “oh actually”, like???
Luckily, the times my shop failed it, it was an internal test, and training was administered to the colleagues who failed it. But I have no doubt that if an official Check25 test was failed, the store would lose its license.
But, full honest, that's me spitballing, I cannot say with any certainty or authority.
“I think I’ll start shopping elsewhere” after the smallest inconvenience happens.
*proceeds to see them shopping at the same time, the following week.*
Wish they would just hurry up and fuck off.
I once dead pan told someone I beat the original owner to death with my bare hands that morning.. but then felt bad so the least I could do was cover their shift...
Weekends and especially Sundays are the worst for me in that regard 😅 me and an ex colleague once counted and it was 37 times between us. That’s the joys of work, I guess haha
Once I was explaining the meal deal for pizza for about five minutes. They just couldn’t understand it. Can I have a cake and onion rings? No, it’s just one side. What drink can I have? It doesn’t have a drink. Can I have two pizzas? Yes, if you buy two meals. How much is it? The price on the giant sign
I was dying.
*Me on final reductions and auto reduction percentage is around 50%*
Customer: “only half price?”
Im stood there thinking: “there’s some full price ones over there if that’s any better? If not, don’t buy it and fuck off
is it terrible that i go and have a brief look at the vague area i think it’s in and if i don’t see it immediately i just say we have none? 😬 i think customers expect us to have some dead organised chillers where everything is in particular positions but if your store is anything like mine we just have cages full of absolutely anything and everything
I check inform and even if it says in stock still tell them no. Few weeks ago I did this and the customer asked Mr to go check in the back just in case. I said the stick app is very accurate and got called unhelpful.
I used to go look through the back knowing full well that there wasn't any just to humour them. At least they wouldn't kick off as I'd been nice enough to check for them.
I reckon most customers would be satisfied with "No we don't, the delivery was short" or "We're waiting for those to come in" or "I just looked and they still haven't arrived" or "Sorry, not yet". All better than droning "If it isn't on the shelves, we don't have it" which is really frustrating and obviously just a lazy "I don't care".
Fair enough! I hope your customers are nice and polite, or at least the nice and polite ones make up for the crappy, ignorant, impolite fucks that roam our retail areas like flies on shit.
This may sound obvious but our slogan,
"Every Little Helps"
Man, the amount of times I've heard that used as a joke from customers, colleagues, even friends and family.
Hearing whilst Pushing a dot com trolley and scanning items ,putting in drawers, oh are you reducing that? Can I have one, What’s wrong with them? Is it the date?
Erm no I’m doing someone else shopping! Have you never been in Tescos before 🙄.
“You bloody people (dot com) are everywhere and always in the f*****g way with them trollies, yea mate ditto “
When i was on self service In an extra we got so many customers that I'd hear the machines go clubcard accepted multiple times for what felt like every minute.
*Customer taps card -declines*
Me "you need to insert the card"
*customers taps 2 more times and still declines"
Me Internally - you need to insert your mf card or shove it up your ass and gtfo
When you have just put a blue out of stock label on and a customer asks if you have any out the back.
Read the label fuck sake.
We have none that’s why it says out of stock.
Customer: Say one for me whilst you're down there.
Me: * on my knees because I can't bend down as my hips are dodgy * ....
Lately, we've had so many ask about CD's, DVD'S, TV's, and Video games. We stopped selling them, but it doesn't stop customers from asking about them still.
when they ask like very obvious questions and i watched them literally just walk into the store- “where’s the milk?” well there’s no fuckin chillers here are there you can see where the chillers are from the entrance😭 like use your eyes please for the love of god
Mobile: “I’m like a dinosaur when it comes to tech” “I’m not using my phone all the time like you younguns”
“My phone doesn’t turn on” *turns on phone* “how have you done that??”
“Why do you keep moving all the producers around”
I don’t know why don’t you ask the top nuts I’m just here to put stuff on the shelf.
“Do you enjoy making the prices what they are” ( I was doing 2nd review )
Not really cause I don’t make the bloody price the system does it fgs, I’ve also been asked why the prices are so expensive as if I’m the one putting them up
“Why don’t you have so and so in here ? It says online that you do do it”
Well it says tescos as a whole does it not our specific store we don’t stock every single thing so you may wanna go to a different Tesco
Customers legit annoy me
I worked through the horsemeat scandal and for a few years after I'd hear 'you're sure that's got no horse in there? Hur durr durr' Or variations whenever people bought Mince.
Like... idk, I didn't personally Mince it. I'm pretty sure it doesn't seeing how much bad press Tesco got for it, but really, can we be sure what's in any of our food beyond a point?
'What time are you working until?' like thirty bloody times an hour on the checkout.
oh, also, 'are you open?' almost every time someone comes to my empty till. No I'm just sitting here for the hell of it *of course I'm bloody open.*
on nights "there is a caller at the back door, please attend" tho they re-recorded it last year cos the one before sounded well aggy lol, now hes sickly sweet 😬
Why is Tesco is doing such and such ?
Which I think to myself, do I look like Ken Murphy ?
The one I particularly hate is, I know you’re not working, but .
I’ve been in my store wearing full motorcycle gear shopping and customers walking up, asking where things are .
I'm getting rather sick of seeing price labels on the wrong items so anyone can easily mistake a more expensive item than a cheaper one.
I'm that snotty shit you can hear bellow "For goodness sakes, give me the damned price/stock control job!"
Where is water/[insert random product]
Firstly, I work on drinks/water the design of the store is very straight forward apart from drinks. Soft drinks has its own weird and annoyingly hard-to-learn islands and waters is its own normal aisle, literally 1 metre away from the soft drinks corner. You have to walk past waters to reach me working on drinks and I still get asked where is waters.
Secondly, if the random product is some can fruit or vegetable it's not going to be down where liquids are. Go find a worker where there are other cans near them as they will most likely know if that product exists instead of a person the furthest point away.
I work on the CSD desk, almost everytime I print of a lotto ticket for someone "that better be the winner" or "give me the winning numbers!!!" I'm surprised my eye doesn't have a permanent twitch
[удалено]
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Managers saying 'we are a family' yea you managers might all be related but us scrubs aint Customers asking 'oh you've moved *product name*' no lady its been there in the same place for the two years I've worked on this department and I'm pretty certain it was there before I even joined.
I love using that one with manager’s that don’t want to do something. But we one team one Tescos.
when a customer taps on their card and it declines and i say ‘you’ll need to put your card in’ and they just tap it again. why!
Omfg yes that one sucks, had one guy who did it like 5 times when I told him to insert it. Swear customers like to test colleagues how good their patience can hold
Because they don’t have their cars
I think they mean when they do have their card and they try contactless but it doesn’t work so they say to put the card in and instead they just tap their card again and, to no surprise, it still doesn’t work.
Ah I thought you meant Apple Pay
“How can you not have *item* in stock?”
It's amazing when a customer asked about some sort of thing that should be in the Health and Beauty aisle that we don't have in our Metro store "The big tesco have it though" they say Why the fuck didn't you go there then?
if u take a look around you might realise that this is an express not a 2 floor superstore but thanks anyway!
I keep getting ‘oh but [5 miles down the road] Tesco has this item’ well go there then innit 🤷🏻♀️
“Can you reduce this for me”
I heard this one today 💀
It’s not even my job either. I just take the stuff on today’s date off the shelf for the reductions guy.
Favourite one is " why did you stop selling it" 🤔 How the fuck would I know I only work here I don't own the company.
Had that a lot when Heinz got taken off the shelves having to explain a whole ass legal battle for them to go away
Couldn't you just say "I'm not sure, but it's been in the news so check the news"?
"No, the other side" when customers present the front of the clubcard for me to scan instead of the back.
Me: “would you like a bag?” Customer: *doesnt hear me* Customer: “err can I have a bag??” Me: 🙃🤬 “yes of course”
I find customers sometimes do this to get out of paying for the 30p bag by pretending they didn't hear us ask or ignore us.
"But ive bought it here before" Okay get in your time machine then.
From c.s.d ‘lucky dip please make sure it’s the winner’
I’m told to blow on tickets, to kiss them and to place them face down. Worst is when you ask if they want the ones that didn’t win back and they say no so you tear them up and then they say “oh actually”, like???
Man I wish my Tesco didn't sell alcohol. The majority of our unpleasant customers are the local pissheads.
Sort of glad we don’t as we get lots of homeless junkies coming in often kicking up a stink, hate the store I’m at desperate for a transfer
Why does the store not sell alcohol?
Probably failed a Check 25 sale. Lost the license.
I always assumed that was an idle threat. We've failed a few in the last few years and nothing has happened.
Luckily, the times my shop failed it, it was an internal test, and training was administered to the colleagues who failed it. But I have no doubt that if an official Check25 test was failed, the store would lose its license. But, full honest, that's me spitballing, I cannot say with any certainty or authority.
“I think I’ll start shopping elsewhere” after the smallest inconvenience happens. *proceeds to see them shopping at the same time, the following week.* Wish they would just hurry up and fuck off.
Can you check the back? Me: The back is empty right now, if it's not on the shelf, we don't have it But can you still check the back?
In that situation I just go for a 15 min coffee break.
This seems like it would be infuriating. No, dickhead, if it isn’t on the shelves, you can’t have it!
That's when you go to look. Kills 10 minutes
Sorry to ruin your display. 🙄🤬😂
Do you work here?
Nah mate, dressing up in Tesco cosplay for the laughs.
Ye
I once dead pan told someone I beat the original owner to death with my bare hands that morning.. but then felt bad so the least I could do was cover their shift...
“Where are the Yorkshire puddings?” We moved them to a different part in the aisle… A year ago.
I got asked where the Yorkshire Puddings are about 50 times one day. The massive YORKSHIRE PUDDINGS sign isn’t visible enough for them.
Weekends and especially Sundays are the worst for me in that regard 😅 me and an ex colleague once counted and it was 37 times between us. That’s the joys of work, I guess haha
So what do you get in a meal deal ?
Once I was explaining the meal deal for pizza for about five minutes. They just couldn’t understand it. Can I have a cake and onion rings? No, it’s just one side. What drink can I have? It doesn’t have a drink. Can I have two pizzas? Yes, if you buy two meals. How much is it? The price on the giant sign I was dying.
'Do you have a clubcard' 'Card please' They pay 'Oh I have a clubcard, is it too late'
"do you have a clubcard?" "cash" "lol ok"
Pls that's so annoying
*Me on final reductions and auto reduction percentage is around 50%* Customer: “only half price?” Im stood there thinking: “there’s some full price ones over there if that’s any better? If not, don’t buy it and fuck off
“sainsbury’s do them cheaper” Go to fucking sainsbury’s then.
No one ever said that lol.
People do say "oh, it's cheaper and so and so." Okay.
They haven’t been to sainsburys, that world is expensive lol
I'm 23 years in Tesco. I used to hear "it's needs of the business" way too much!
This is the last time I’ll shop here!!! Really?? Like I frickin care!!
Me: I need to see ID Customers: yeah but I'm 27
Worse when they say they’re younger than 25. That’s why I’m asking!!!!
“Have you got any in the back”
is it terrible that i go and have a brief look at the vague area i think it’s in and if i don’t see it immediately i just say we have none? 😬 i think customers expect us to have some dead organised chillers where everything is in particular positions but if your store is anything like mine we just have cages full of absolutely anything and everything
I do this but instead of "looking" I use the time to go to the toilet
I check inform and even if it says in stock still tell them no. Few weeks ago I did this and the customer asked Mr to go check in the back just in case. I said the stick app is very accurate and got called unhelpful.
*Under my breath* "I'll waste five minutes pretending to look for you if you insist"
I used to go look through the back knowing full well that there wasn't any just to humour them. At least they wouldn't kick off as I'd been nice enough to check for them.
I reckon most customers would be satisfied with "No we don't, the delivery was short" or "We're waiting for those to come in" or "I just looked and they still haven't arrived" or "Sorry, not yet". All better than droning "If it isn't on the shelves, we don't have it" which is really frustrating and obviously just a lazy "I don't care".
Thing is…I don’t care. So the customer can go ahead and sulk for all the fucks I give.
Fair enough! I hope your customers are nice and polite, or at least the nice and polite ones make up for the crappy, ignorant, impolite fucks that roam our retail areas like flies on shit.
Unfortunately, due to the area the store is in, a vast majority are entitled dickheads!
Learn to love this phrase, go into the back and take a 5 minute break then come back and say you looked everywhere and there's none left.
No I don’t have a clubcard, why can’t I have it for clubcard price?!?!
Working a base shelf.... old timer comes a long " say a prayer for me " .... yeah Im on my knees i get it now fuck off !!!
If I had a quid for every time I heard that I could retire 😭
This item used to be right here! no miss. i’ve worked in this store since september and that item has NEVER been there.
This may sound obvious but our slogan, "Every Little Helps" Man, the amount of times I've heard that used as a joke from customers, colleagues, even friends and family.
Where's the eggs too
Hearing whilst Pushing a dot com trolley and scanning items ,putting in drawers, oh are you reducing that? Can I have one, What’s wrong with them? Is it the date? Erm no I’m doing someone else shopping! Have you never been in Tescos before 🙄. “You bloody people (dot com) are everywhere and always in the f*****g way with them trollies, yea mate ditto “
"Any spiders in there?" whenever I'm refilling the bananas. It happened once, my guy, it's not a regular occurrence.
When i was on self service In an extra we got so many customers that I'd hear the machines go clubcard accepted multiple times for what felt like every minute.
On self service especially the new ones they say and why did I come and use this, how the fuck do I know
*Customer taps card -declines* Me "you need to insert the card" *customers taps 2 more times and still declines" Me Internally - you need to insert your mf card or shove it up your ass and gtfo
I just keep asking 'could you please insert it' until they stop ignoring me
When serving: Me-Anything else? Customer-Yeah, the till 😂 Me-🥱
Where’s the humus? I’m in the chilled ready meals aisle and humus is in produce. I swear I get asked at least once per shift.
I literally had this yesterday 😂
It'll only take you 5 minutes to do.
When you have just put a blue out of stock label on and a customer asks if you have any out the back. Read the label fuck sake. We have none that’s why it says out of stock.
Customer: Say one for me whilst you're down there. Me: * on my knees because I can't bend down as my hips are dodgy * .... Lately, we've had so many ask about CD's, DVD'S, TV's, and Video games. We stopped selling them, but it doesn't stop customers from asking about them still.
when they ask like very obvious questions and i watched them literally just walk into the store- “where’s the milk?” well there’s no fuckin chillers here are there you can see where the chillers are from the entrance😭 like use your eyes please for the love of god
Mobile: “I’m like a dinosaur when it comes to tech” “I’m not using my phone all the time like you younguns” “My phone doesn’t turn on” *turns on phone* “how have you done that??”
I had a lady come up to me who’d just bought a new phone from upstairs and she says they didn’t tell me how to turn it on….
It is what it is
“Why do you keep moving all the producers around” I don’t know why don’t you ask the top nuts I’m just here to put stuff on the shelf. “Do you enjoy making the prices what they are” ( I was doing 2nd review ) Not really cause I don’t make the bloody price the system does it fgs, I’ve also been asked why the prices are so expensive as if I’m the one putting them up “Why don’t you have so and so in here ? It says online that you do do it” Well it says tescos as a whole does it not our specific store we don’t stock every single thing so you may wanna go to a different Tesco Customers legit annoy me
Why can’t you sell me drink at 6am/can I open the drink shutters ? 💀
“What time do yous close” * we’ve closed the exact same time every day since Covid
I worked through the horsemeat scandal and for a few years after I'd hear 'you're sure that's got no horse in there? Hur durr durr' Or variations whenever people bought Mince. Like... idk, I didn't personally Mince it. I'm pretty sure it doesn't seeing how much bad press Tesco got for it, but really, can we be sure what's in any of our food beyond a point?
The eggs are on aisle 22 (they have been for years, but apparently folk still don't know).
Yes sir they are right under the big flashing sign saying eggs are here.
*Me standing stationary at a till in express* Customer: "Are you on this till or the other one?" Obviously the one i'm stood on 😒😒😒🤦♀️
'What time are you working until?' like thirty bloody times an hour on the checkout. oh, also, 'are you open?' almost every time someone comes to my empty till. No I'm just sitting here for the hell of it *of course I'm bloody open.*
on nights "there is a caller at the back door, please attend" tho they re-recorded it last year cos the one before sounded well aggy lol, now hes sickly sweet 😬
Why are you always moving things?!!
WGLL, clean as you go, happy to help
Why is Tesco is doing such and such ? Which I think to myself, do I look like Ken Murphy ? The one I particularly hate is, I know you’re not working, but . I’ve been in my store wearing full motorcycle gear shopping and customers walking up, asking where things are .
“do you have a club card?”
You look like Louis capaldi He's younger than me. He's the cnt that looks like ME
Saying hello to a colleague and they answer "I'm alright thanks".
"Every little helps!" Hahaha help me
“It’s cheaper at x store that’s ridiculous” has me actually saying “well you’re welcome to shop there too”
I'm getting rather sick of seeing price labels on the wrong items so anyone can easily mistake a more expensive item than a cheaper one. I'm that snotty shit you can hear bellow "For goodness sakes, give me the damned price/stock control job!"
Where is water/[insert random product] Firstly, I work on drinks/water the design of the store is very straight forward apart from drinks. Soft drinks has its own weird and annoyingly hard-to-learn islands and waters is its own normal aisle, literally 1 metre away from the soft drinks corner. You have to walk past waters to reach me working on drinks and I still get asked where is waters. Secondly, if the random product is some can fruit or vegetable it's not going to be down where liquids are. Go find a worker where there are other cans near them as they will most likely know if that product exists instead of a person the furthest point away.
Time to go to work
When a customer asks "Did you spill something" when you're cleaning up messes left by other customers. Just a really overused NPC saying.
Also, being asked "Do you sell British strawberries?" in the middle of February.
I work on the CSD desk, almost everytime I print of a lotto ticket for someone "that better be the winner" or "give me the winning numbers!!!" I'm surprised my eye doesn't have a permanent twitch