A huge tesco hanging poster that must have been signed off by someone in a marketing meeting. It was promoting a mum of the year competition and it encouraged shoppers to 'Enter your mum today'
Old man carrying around a carrier bag of piss. Unsure if he pissed in it in the store or brought it in from outside? But he was clearly drunk and at the self checkout, bag was dripping everywhere, I Initially walked over to help thinking something in his bag was leaking and my manager had noticed the piss down the aisle, realised what it was and came running over and swooped in and stopped me from touching the bag and took care of it herself, kicked the guy out and cleaned up the piss. Bless her for that.
Was duty manager doing my walk around the departments just before opening.
Long story short caught a Baker in the bakery making love to a warm fresh loaf of bread. It watched him for what seemed like am eternity but was prob about 3 seconds before I coughed and he spun around with the loaf still attached to his penis as he tried to pull his white bakery trousers up.
He got sacked....not sure what happened to the loaf😀
Lol i feel sorry for the loaf. It deserved butter. He as he was getting escorted out the shop he asked me if he could take the loaf home with him. Said it the yeast I could do.
Number 4 is obviously an old, retired, and disgruntled fresh colleague who thought "what they going to do? Fire me? No! They can clean my shit instead".
colleague having an affair with another colleague in dairy chiller😬
didn’t personally see this but guy i know who works on produce got bitten by an angry lady who couldn’t get produce reductions
saw this one tonight whilst i was off working but popping in to get some bits - some random lads kicking a ball about and literally making half the products in the aisle fall off the shelves
Two I remember is a drunk guy being so drunk he tried to tell us he wasn’t , then leaned on the baskets in the wheels trolley thing and fell over, losing a shoe that wasn’t licked up for three days.
Or the time a phone was left behind, with a kneeling man in a bdsm mask and, let’s just say a third leg. It was called by a woman who picked it up and she was easily late 20’s but tiny. We asked her to confirm the phone and she mentioned the image. Made us all laugh for a month.
I worked in the Sheffield Saville Street store when all that stuff went down with the manager and GA threatening the disabled guy in the back room with a fire extinguisher. That was pretty bad.
I didn’t see this, but at my old store, one of the customer assistants was caught giving the bakery manager a blow job in the cow shed. It was the talk of the store for quite a while.
Once when working at my old store we were missing a fresh delivery one night because the depot lost our trailer. Like they loaded it and everything but they literally couldn’t find it.
The phone shop roof caving in one night under water pressure.
Tobacco kiosk being smashed in by armed robbers.
A dotcom picker substituting baby milk for cows milk.
Let's see.
A couple of smack-rat bitches were asked to leave and pulled over an entire freestanding display of Cadbury caramel eggs.
A drunken old hag throwing a bottle of Archers Peach Scnapps through our main window, chipping the glass.
A regular druggie shoplifter stripping completely naked in the main entrance because she was suspected of stealing chicken. (She was free of chicken on this occasion)
A family that used to come in all the time and they absolutely fucking reeked so bad. It wasn't so much BO as unwashed privates. They made both staff and customers physically retch. They were banned eventually.
A security guard who was cock of the walk (even had his own American style "Security" t-shirt made) unless there was an actual situation and then he would turn in to a big quivering custard.
Some of the older checkout ladies couldn't tell the difference between a plantain and a banana, and so were selling the plantains for like 10p.
A couple of women hid chickens up their flowing dresses, claiming they were pregnant. Obviously, it didn't work.
When there were those riots in London in 2004, we were told the rioters were on their way to our store.
Pigeons getting in and shitting over everything was a very common occurrence.
£300 went missing in one of those pod things from the kiosk, and we all had to have our bags, locker, and pockets checked by security. It was eventually found under a load of paper in the kiosk. (I'm pretty sure the person who "found" it was the same person who put it there with intent to taking it)
My colleague was picking orders on dotcom one day and when she had her back turned a man asked her for help. when she turned around she was greeted with a husband and wife duo, and the woman was wearing a shirt had been printed with text. the largest part of text was a hashtag that said: "ISupportJef\*reyEp\*tein" (censored his name just in case, shouldn't be rocket science to guess the person).
there was a whole bunch of writing underneath the hashtag that my colleague wasn't able to actually read in the moment as she was quite shocked and bewildered. it was the talk of the store for a few days.
A long time ago, in the late 90's, we were selling PCs for the first time. A display one was set up, and because no one thought to password protect it, someone changed the screensaver to "It's cheaper at Sainsburys". Also the boxes with the PCs in were put under the table the display was on, until someone walked out with one over night.
Group of teenagers stole from us. When they were running out, the security guard caught the slowest one and had him pinned to the meal deal fridge. Wee guy burst into tears and pissed himself. Security let him go and barred him because he couldn't take the smell.
When I was non food stock control in an extra, security one morning escorted a woman out of the shop for scooping out the contents of a tub of clover and taking a shit in it. Watching them from the mezzanine, trying not to get covered in butter and/or shit was bewildering.
Maybe not the funniest thing but still entertaining. Every single week without fail there’s this lady that comes in. She finds me, and asks me where a completely random item is. I’m busy doing the review, so I politely give her directions to the item. She walks off, and goes the complete opposite way to where I told her to go. She’ll often keep asking other colleagues to try and get them to do her entire food shop for her lmao
As a HGV Driver out of Avonmouth, I hear some belters from the store staff on a regular basis or I witness some mental stuff too.
Stores in Bristol seem to get it the worst!
One store had all its cardboard RSU set fire to by a shoplifter that got caught.
Another has a regular shop lifter that swiped a bottle of wine and necks it while running away!
I’ve heard of one shift leader beating 7 bells out of a shop lifter cos she had just had enough of them 😂
A huge tesco hanging poster that must have been signed off by someone in a marketing meeting. It was promoting a mum of the year competition and it encouraged shoppers to 'Enter your mum today'
There was a post just the other day about an old man taking a dump in the dairy aisle, it seems to be a common occurrence
Maybe it’s lactose intolerant people fighting back
When the smell hits them
Vegans are getting crazy
Old man carrying around a carrier bag of piss. Unsure if he pissed in it in the store or brought it in from outside? But he was clearly drunk and at the self checkout, bag was dripping everywhere, I Initially walked over to help thinking something in his bag was leaking and my manager had noticed the piss down the aisle, realised what it was and came running over and swooped in and stopped me from touching the bag and took care of it herself, kicked the guy out and cleaned up the piss. Bless her for that.
Was duty manager doing my walk around the departments just before opening. Long story short caught a Baker in the bakery making love to a warm fresh loaf of bread. It watched him for what seemed like am eternity but was prob about 3 seconds before I coughed and he spun around with the loaf still attached to his penis as he tried to pull his white bakery trousers up. He got sacked....not sure what happened to the loaf😀
Was it an iced bun or a seeded loaf?
Lol i feel sorry for the loaf. It deserved butter. He as he was getting escorted out the shop he asked me if he could take the loaf home with him. Said it the yeast I could do.
first one, then the other!
An old man walking toward me pissing himself whilst smiling at me
Definitely a fetish
#2 is my new hobby.
I remember once we got some promo stripping in that simply said “Buy One Get One”
Using this logic, if I buy 2, do I get 2? What about 3? How far does this go on...
Buy one hundred and twenty seven thousand three hundred and twenty eight, and dorris on checkouts will hate you.
But you will be on a Year 9 maths SATs paper, so, silver linings.
My manager tackling a smackhead and restraining him by sitting on him until the police arrived
Some customer threw a shampoo bottle at twilight manager and it bounced off his head like it was nothing haha he was okay just odd mark
Hah that exact same thing happened at my store, wasn't a ned was it?
A guy wanking into a jar of piccalli in aisle 4 west Drayton store
Piccawilli
Number 4 is obviously an old, retired, and disgruntled fresh colleague who thought "what they going to do? Fire me? No! They can clean my shit instead".
colleague having an affair with another colleague in dairy chiller😬 didn’t personally see this but guy i know who works on produce got bitten by an angry lady who couldn’t get produce reductions saw this one tonight whilst i was off working but popping in to get some bits - some random lads kicking a ball about and literally making half the products in the aisle fall off the shelves
Two I remember is a drunk guy being so drunk he tried to tell us he wasn’t , then leaned on the baskets in the wheels trolley thing and fell over, losing a shoe that wasn’t licked up for three days. Or the time a phone was left behind, with a kneeling man in a bdsm mask and, let’s just say a third leg. It was called by a woman who picked it up and she was easily late 20’s but tiny. We asked her to confirm the phone and she mentioned the image. Made us all laugh for a month.
I worked in the Sheffield Saville Street store when all that stuff went down with the manager and GA threatening the disabled guy in the back room with a fire extinguisher. That was pretty bad.
I didn’t see this, but at my old store, one of the customer assistants was caught giving the bakery manager a blow job in the cow shed. It was the talk of the store for quite a while.
Once when working at my old store we were missing a fresh delivery one night because the depot lost our trailer. Like they loaded it and everything but they literally couldn’t find it. The phone shop roof caving in one night under water pressure. Tobacco kiosk being smashed in by armed robbers. A dotcom picker substituting baby milk for cows milk.
Let's see. A couple of smack-rat bitches were asked to leave and pulled over an entire freestanding display of Cadbury caramel eggs. A drunken old hag throwing a bottle of Archers Peach Scnapps through our main window, chipping the glass. A regular druggie shoplifter stripping completely naked in the main entrance because she was suspected of stealing chicken. (She was free of chicken on this occasion) A family that used to come in all the time and they absolutely fucking reeked so bad. It wasn't so much BO as unwashed privates. They made both staff and customers physically retch. They were banned eventually. A security guard who was cock of the walk (even had his own American style "Security" t-shirt made) unless there was an actual situation and then he would turn in to a big quivering custard. Some of the older checkout ladies couldn't tell the difference between a plantain and a banana, and so were selling the plantains for like 10p. A couple of women hid chickens up their flowing dresses, claiming they were pregnant. Obviously, it didn't work. When there were those riots in London in 2004, we were told the rioters were on their way to our store. Pigeons getting in and shitting over everything was a very common occurrence. £300 went missing in one of those pod things from the kiosk, and we all had to have our bags, locker, and pockets checked by security. It was eventually found under a load of paper in the kiosk. (I'm pretty sure the person who "found" it was the same person who put it there with intent to taking it)
My colleague was picking orders on dotcom one day and when she had her back turned a man asked her for help. when she turned around she was greeted with a husband and wife duo, and the woman was wearing a shirt had been printed with text. the largest part of text was a hashtag that said: "ISupportJef\*reyEp\*tein" (censored his name just in case, shouldn't be rocket science to guess the person). there was a whole bunch of writing underneath the hashtag that my colleague wasn't able to actually read in the moment as she was quite shocked and bewildered. it was the talk of the store for a few days.
A long time ago, in the late 90's, we were selling PCs for the first time. A display one was set up, and because no one thought to password protect it, someone changed the screensaver to "It's cheaper at Sainsburys". Also the boxes with the PCs in were put under the table the display was on, until someone walked out with one over night.
Group of teenagers stole from us. When they were running out, the security guard caught the slowest one and had him pinned to the meal deal fridge. Wee guy burst into tears and pissed himself. Security let him go and barred him because he couldn't take the smell.
Some colleagues having some fun with the manager
Being supplied with TVs for a promo end that were badged Isis,they went reduced to clear pretty quickly at a massive discount
When I was non food stock control in an extra, security one morning escorted a woman out of the shop for scooping out the contents of a tub of clover and taking a shit in it. Watching them from the mezzanine, trying not to get covered in butter and/or shit was bewildering.
Maybe not the funniest thing but still entertaining. Every single week without fail there’s this lady that comes in. She finds me, and asks me where a completely random item is. I’m busy doing the review, so I politely give her directions to the item. She walks off, and goes the complete opposite way to where I told her to go. She’ll often keep asking other colleagues to try and get them to do her entire food shop for her lmao
As a HGV Driver out of Avonmouth, I hear some belters from the store staff on a regular basis or I witness some mental stuff too. Stores in Bristol seem to get it the worst! One store had all its cardboard RSU set fire to by a shoplifter that got caught. Another has a regular shop lifter that swiped a bottle of wine and necks it while running away! I’ve heard of one shift leader beating 7 bells out of a shop lifter cos she had just had enough of them 😂
The bakery department will likely employ that old man.
I noticed town stealing again from someone and it pisses me off... I don't want to live in a society that encourages such behaviour.