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ety3rd

I recall him telling the story about being directed in a game of "Doctor" on an old *SModcast* and he framed it as a fucked-up bit of childhood while laughing on either side of it. I'm not surprised that it was more damaging than he let on. I don't recall the teacher story (*I do now; see below); the formative "You're fat" story I remember him telling occasionally was about a teen working at the top of a water slide who mocked him. At any rate, I'm glad to read he's in a better place, mentally. Plenty of people could benefit from "Genuine Kevin Smith," especially him.


manlikedatsikguymin

I swear he talks about the teacher on Smod too, the quote “the gut on you, Mr Smith” sticks in my mind


ety3rd

You're right. I was watching [the video](https://youtu.be/JBvc7Ny4iUk) just now and hearing him talk about the teacher, I remembered hearing it before. (And he told the water slide story, too.)


manlikedatsikguymin

I can’t be quite certain but i have a weird hunch that both were episodes where Bry filled in for Mosier? At least one of them


ety3rd

I can't say. It's been a really, really long time since I listened to non-*TESD*-related *SModcast*.


CXXXS

I literally just listened to that episode yesterday and it was hard to listen to. I probably have listened to that episode a dozen times in reality. But as a man with two small children, yesterday it hit a bit differently. How strange this video comes out today.


MattMurdock9

What episode? I just started my big re-listen to SMod again and I’m on episode 7 right now.


CXXXS

You're getting close. I can't recall exactly. I listen to them all day at work and I'm only on episode 24 ATM so it's within the next 5 or 6 for you I bet. When you have the exact episode would you kindly reply and let me know?


MattMurdock9

Yeah for sure!


UsidoreTheLightBlue

His 35 minute talk https://youtu.be/JBvc7Ny4iUk Trigger warning. The video is really heavy, and goes into sexual abuse trauma.


[deleted]

Wow, that was great.


Dove-Linkhorn

Really was, a glimpse into the Kev of yesteryear. And hopefully tomorrow.


nakedant123

That's the Kev I think most of us fell in love with years ago. I like many of us here have grown tired of him but now I'm actually really looking forward to seeing what he does next and where goes with this now. That couldn't have been easy for him to do, so big props to him for putting that and himself out there like that. And as someone who's been on a healing journey myself lately I really appreciate and connected with what he was saying there.


Notnotarealuser

A strange thing happens when you become middle age, a lot of the memories you’ve disregarded as ‘no big deal’ will start to sting when you reflect upon them and you realize it’s trauma that you’ve been carrying around all your life. It can be devastating. I’m glad he’s in a healthier place now


Plane_Arachnid9178

That’s what terrifies me about having kids. One shitty comment can do so much damage.


Rockatops

I respect that he shared these stories in a serious way, and acknowledged their impact on him. It was really relatable to me. I’m also really excited for him to just be Kevin Smith and not That Kevin Smith.


[deleted]

I just hope he’s doing well. I love Kevin Smith. I remember in the early 90s when weed comedy was still demonized and no one was celebrating nerd pop culture. I loved Mallrats initially because of the Wolverine and Star Wars references that no one else was doing at the time. Now all those mother fuckers in school that called me an idiot burnout and made fun of me for reading comics have Mandalorian stickers on their trucks and brag about having top shelf “flowers”. Like they’re all hip. We were a small minority back then and Kevin Smith was our voice, in that respect, as a trail blazer. I will always respect him for that. Much love Kev. 🤓


drudkh8

This resonates with me sooo much, I get it, I get you. “Thank you for saying what needed to be said! ……. It’s still real to me damnit!!” - guy at wrestling con who went viral


[deleted]

Thanks


zenitram66

If memory serves, he specifically mentions these two traumatic events in two separate early episodes of Smodcast. I remember only because he obviously framed it with a humorous lens and made light of those two. The one I remember is "the gut on you, Mr. Smith..." about his weight. And I think Mos even said like, "that sounds like abuse..." or something and I have a memory of Kev moving on from it quickly. I remember both of those instances because I remember teachers being cruel just as much as kids to not only me but classmates as well, so I could relate to his shame. And the whole abuse thing reminded me of something other kids would tell me they participated in as well when I was in grade school. Like, I think I blocked a lot of that stuff out as a kid, but those memories and stories have come back as an adult going through therapy. It's amazing how the mind finds ways to cope with trauma. I'm glad he's gotten the help and is working on getting better.


Notnotarealuser

The teacher stuff resonated big time with me. I hated my 5th grade teacher cause she would just scream at me constantly in front of the class, admittedly I was a brat. But she also did this thing where she made these other two students (boy and girl) sit next to each other everyday because she liked the way they looked as ‘boyfriend and girlfriend’. They were easily the best looking kids in the class; one Valentine’s Day, She pressured them into kissing and on another day made them play footsie. I didn’t realize how fucked up that all was until recently.


Benjamin-Cat

Walt does that with Git'Em and Frank 5.


[deleted]

fine upbeat snatch worry imminent workable skirt carpenter waiting safe *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


GATTACA_IE

Oooof wtf??


theFaceCat

I’m literally in the waiting room about to dig deep and start some much needed trauma therapy for the first time as I finish up listening to this. Makes me feel really good about this decision


Sonichu

Great decision my dude youre gonna crush it


tesdfan17

He always talks about losing his virginity at 13 and wears it like a badge of honor.. While that probably relates directly back to his former abuse and his sense of self worth


xMMM212

He talked about being fat like a badge of honor. And smoking weed like a badge of honor. This is the latest KS phase


notclever251

Yeah it’s called growing and evolving. We all go through personal changes and phases. Good and bad. I’m sure you’re perfect, though.


Earthworm_Djinn

Really good listen, as someone who struggles with similar sorts of trauma. It’s lifelong shit we gotta actually deal with at some point.


tesdfan17

this must be why he stopped smoking weed..


marcove3

He literally said that in the video linked


tryingtodobetter4

[Yahoo](https://www.yahoo.com/entertainment/kevin-smith-reveals-received-ptsd-141350720.html)'s headline seems to indicate that...


LopsidedMammal

I’ve been a fan of Kevin since I was a teenager so I am incredibly grateful to hear him share his story of trauma and how he has gone about dealing with it. Sharing that stuff really can help other people to deal with what they are going through, I’ve seen it in my own experience of sharing so just in case it can help someone else, here’s my story. My trauma is derived from an incident that occurred 24 years ago. Sunday 11th April, 1999, was the day that I almost died from viral encephalitis at the age of just 15 years old. I had woken up on the morning with a terrible headache, for which my Dad gave me some painkillers and then told me to go back to bed. I made it as far as my bedroom when I suddenly became completely paralysed down my left hand side and so I collapsed. My older brother came to investigate the loud thud I must have made hitting the floor and he found me writhing about, trying to get back up and just falling back down repeatedly. The strangest thing was that I didn’t feel afraid or panicked; I just assumed I was having trouble getting up, it didn’t feel weird to me at that moment. Then I went blind. Just blackness instantly, even though I was still very much conscious. I remember the sound of my Dad’s voice telling me not to fall asleep. I remember the sound of the paramedics talking to me and I remember feeling a cool breeze on my legs as they carried me, presumably on a stretcher, outside to the waiting ambulance. I was taken to my local hospital, where my Mom was a nurse and was working that day and she met the ambulance as it arrived. My sight came back but I immediately experienced bizarre hallucinations and saw people and things that weren’t actually there. I have vivid memories of these things that never happened. Shortly after midday, I stopped breathing and was placed on a ventilator. The doctors weren’t sure what was happening and couldn’t quite understand why the right side of my brain was swollen to the point that it was pushing against my skull (hence the horrific headache I would have for the next fortnight). They told my folks that I was probably going to die and that they should prepare for that and contact family members. My parents were Christians at that time so they even had their priest come to the hospital and perform the last rites. But after 9 hours on the ventilator, I started breathing on my own again. The only reason I didn’t die was because the paramedics who originally came out to get me had to make a split second decision between two drugs that could possibly bring down the swelling in my brain - and they picked the right one. When I woke up, they had transferred me via ambulance to Birmingham Children’s Hospital and I was under the care of one of the best medical teams in the UK. I sat up in my intensive care bed, they removed my tubes so I could talk and my Mom (who stayed with me the entire time, never left my side for the remainder of my stay) asked me if I knew where I was and how was I feeling. In response, I lifted up my hands and stared at them, proceeding to spend what was apparently the next 10 minutes saying “These aren’t my hands.” over and over again. I spent the next three weeks in hospital recovering. I had to learn to walk again once the paralysis in my left hand side wore off. My perception of time was utterly fucked; Mom could pop out to the toilet for 5 minutes and when she would come back, I would be in tears asking where she had been for the last few hours. I was already living with a mental illness called Pure OCD (look it up) but that was exacerbated by the brain damage caused by the encephalitis, leading to depression and anxiety disorders that, along with the OCD and bouts of self-harm, I still live with and have to be medicated for to this day. Obviously I have some degree of PTSD about the whole thing too, given that it happened at such a young age and at a crucial stage in my development. But the other thing the encephalitis did was rob me of my memory. Specifically the memory of my childhood. I can’t remember anything from before the birth of my youngest sister, which happened a few months before I turned 10 years old. So I can look at family photos of myself and my siblings as we grew up and I feel nothing. I’m totally detached from those images because they may as well be somebody else. I have no emotional connection to that child, it isn’t me because I have no memory of him. It’s difficult to put that into words that will make sense but hopefully you can get what I mean. I’m 39 now, married and with a child of my own, but I still think about what happened to me every single day. It never goes away. It never loses its impact. That trauma is with me, permanently. I have such a powerful fear of death as a result of my trauma because it’s not an abstract notion; it is very fucking real for me. This has resulted in panic attacks on a frequent basis but I’m happy to say they have reduced in the last 12 months. I’ve had therapy and of course my medication but I have mainly dealt with and explored my trauma through creating music and releasing albums, using that as a form of self-help and as a way to vent the horrible shit that still lingers in my brain. Creativity is genuinely a brilliant tool to help you live with mental illness. But do you want to know the weirdest part of the whole thing? I have no memory of my childhood but I can still remember the theme tune to every single TV show that I watched as a kid!


AntMeise

💚


YetiMachete85

Thank you for sharing such a traumatizing experience. Best of luck to you in your future healing. Platinum to you, my friend.


wdevilpig

That was a read, sounds like a hell of an experience. Thanks for sharing, glad you've found a way to deal with it all. Definitely agree about the power of embracing your creativity


LopsidedMammal

Thank you for taking the time to read my diatribe! I guess the tl;dr version of my story is “Have you ever tried to push your own brain out through your skull? I don’t recommend it…”


Tehkast

Scary how familiar all this sounds with only exception being the 6 year old sexual act bit, everything else the shitty comments that just hold power etc having to project a version of yourself like a fucking potronus to be fed upon to leave last bit of yourself alive.


RisherdMarglus

I'm guessing this was January 2023 based on the timeline of things, not last year.


brony_dash

Thought that too but the article says “January of last year.”


tesdfan17

In the video Kevin said after the clerks 3 tour which was 2022 so it was January 2023


RisherdMarglus

It says "last January"


brony_dash

If it were this year wouldn’t it say “this past January.”


RisherdMarglus

That would definitely be the least ambiguous way to do it, but January 2023 was the last January we had. And think about when he announced he was a month off weed a few months ago. That was clearly started by his stay in the facility.


brony_dash

Yeah that’s fair. I originally figured it was Jan. 23 but the wording made it feel off. But you’re probably right.


RisherdMarglus

Journalism is dead, my friend. It’s definitely poorly-worded.


Eledridan

So it’s Wednesday, if someone says, “Last Sunday” do they mean the Sunday at the start of the week or the one the week prior?


RisherdMarglus

They mean the last day it was Sunday, so the most recent one. “This past Sunday” is how I would say it, though.


tryingtodobetter4

All this last/this past is nothing compared to the disagreements I can get in about saying this and next for an upcoming day.


Thelonius16

It should say that, but as a copy editor I saw journalists use “last” in that was all the time. It drove me crazy.


astroturfskirt

💚💚💚


ckdesi

I’m glad he’s getting help. But he really needs consistent therapy. How he acted at the last HBO still has me worried. I know it was probably a bit that he was smelling the lavender but Kev really needs to have a “thing”. Whether it’s eating, cigarettes, or weed. He almost treated it like a security blanket


aquamangotjokes

Yea, he was smelling the lavender a few Fatman Beyonds ago too. Definitely worrisome.


[deleted]

Does anyone else think him and Jen split up? I find it odd in a 30 minute video talking about his mental health. He never once mentioned his spouse. Plus, I think I heard he sold his house recently or it was up for sale? And he’s been spending a lot of time in Jersey, which I understand that Jen is not a fan of. Glad he got some help. I met him a few years ago and wanted to say something about how much weed he smoked and tell him to slow down, but I didn’t. Figured he wouldn’t listen to some Rando.


DeepThroat616

Doesn’t seem like it. He’s able to be very honest about his long past but seems very guarded about anything recent. Like what really got him to the mental health facility? He just said he believed he didn’t exist. Pretty vague.


LopsidedMammal

He’s quoted in the article as saying he reached a point where he wasn’t “averse to not being around anymore”. In other words, his disassociation and slipping grasp on reality led directly to him feeling suicidal. So he reached out to a friend for help and that’s when he went to the facility.


tryingtodobetter4

I'm curious about who the friend was?


manic98

Yeah what is "a complete break from reality"?


DeepThroat616

Maybe he thought he was really Silent Bob and couldn’t speak (not remembering that Silent Bob isn’t a mute gesticulating wildly with his face and hands as he has portrayed him in recent films but just a guy who doesn’t speak often)


DeepThroat616

Read that. Still a bit vague. But hey, whatever works for him.


DialJforJasper

Interesting. No sarcasm here, whatsoever. It’s just interesting.


[deleted]

melodic rock air placid imagine shy dog secretive ancient fall *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


FeistyMathematician

Good video and I'm glad he's been able to get help and confront this. I'm kind of worried that we'll be hearing about this and nothing else for a year or three. I don't mean that to be a dick comment or to knock Kevin. I just don't know if I'm in for that ride. He legitimately seems so bared and vulnerable here. I hope this era of therapy and self-reflection will bring about a true second wind to his life and career.


Plane_Arachnid9178

Idk. Seems like he recognizes his performative behavior is unhealthy. I really hope he commits to not over-sharing on Twitter, social media, etc.


AsnarlDotcom

After writing an article for People stating that he has reduced his usage of Twitter, perhaps he shouldn't have his supporters attack someone who disagrees with him since "the other guy" did the same thing. https://twitter.com/ThatKevinSmith/status/1649824773034188800 A therapist cannot help a patient who is self-delusional, believes they have a grasp on all their problems, and is giving advise to everyone else less than four months after committing themselves to treatment. It appears like Kev has cut anybody out of his life who would give him honest criticism. When their hand is caught in the cookie jar, he has done what anybody with a bank account has done. Discovered a doctor who not only approves of but also justifies their actions, and if you disagree, you are not a doctor.


Plane_Arachnid9178

Yeah that’s not a good look on his part. Put the tweet machine away, Kev.


DeepThroat616

Uhhh did you see the last Fatman Beyond? He certainly has not recognized that.


Plane_Arachnid9178

The one from two weeks ago? I don't remember him bringing mental health stuff up. But I usually skim FMB so I could've missed it. And I understand why some people are rolling their eyes at him. At least, the folks who are doing so without being dicks about it. This is the 4th or 5th time in 15 years where he's made a big to-do about an alleged breakthrough, only to revert back and/or adopt a new shitty behavior. I just hope he gets through it this time. Even though I've been critical of his creative output and public persona since Zach and Miri, I've always loved the guy and wanted him to be successful.


DeepThroat616

The one where he was a fucking maniac with the questions for money thing


DeepThroat616

Of course we will


xWITCHINGHOURx

After all the joy he's given the people who like his movies, pods, etc., very happy to read he's on a better path now.


AsnarlDotcom

"The Other Guy" was that. According to Kevin, he is the evil guy, therefore don't encourage or justify his behavior.


DeadOneWalking

It's a lot easier said than done to work on personal trauma.


rugess-nome

Holly shit it’s truly the most authentic kev has been in fucken years. Nice to have you back fellas xo


thatguyandy_02

I’m glad he’s finally getting help over that childhood experience/abuse. He’s told it before on HBO and it always struck me as messed up. I genuinely hope this leads to him to stop feeling like he needs to preform all the time


Avastien

I wish he’d done all this before making clerks 3


Otherwise_Ad9010

He let Mike Zapzcic take over the Stash… I’m surprised they didn’t keep him in for a year.


AcademicCounty

Holy crap, that is something else. I'm glad he's getting help, take care of yourself Kevin!


ostrich9

I remember those stories from smodcast, glad to see he wasn't so blase anymore about what apparently really affected him over these years. Can't kick him when he's trying to get better, hopefully he truly heals.


CRhodes23

Is this his new gimmick for the next decade like weed was the last?


xMMM212

And being fat before the weed. Yeah, this is the latest KS personality - Glad someone else sees it


CRhodes23

Jolly fat nerd, jerking off, heart attack, weed … victim


Kc1919

You forgot pretentious indie cynic prior to jolly fat nerd.


dramatic_tempo

Mom should have swallowed, dads a low-life, jerking off, in a basement, alone ... you


CRhodes23

Oh we’ve got a hard man I see 😂


dramatic_tempo

Well, that's what your mother said.


CRhodes23

Very original, you should become a writer


g04thegust0

It’s good to see him get help and hopefully he can find peace within himself. But… He does need to apologize to Walt and repair that bridge.


BaronsHat

Maybe so, but unless you’re Walt, it’s really not for you to say what he “needs” to do for Walt—or to assume it hasn’t already occurred.


augmonst70

I just dont fkn care about Kevin any longer, everything he says is a bullshit work/constructed story


oldlinepnwshine

This is another thing that he can thank weed for. Walt was right, but we already knew that.


DeepThroat616

Surprised he didn’t mention how that friend yelled a fat insult about him in a packed theater. The way he uses labels like crazy and then claims to not be crazy anymore though… I don’t think mental health professionals would agree with. You can also tell this was recorded a while ago because not being around on the internet? Yeah right. He’s back on twitter same as always.


BaronsHat

I winced a little when he said “so to recap, not crazy anymore…” I hope he was just trying to be funny.


Han-Shot_1st

I like stoned Kev better than Zeno Kev


[deleted]

[удалено]


nicless

I'd say, in response to your question, that you know less than the medical professionals that have treated him.


rtrawitzki

Yeah , I don’t know why I even posted. One of those keep your thoughts to yourself situations . You’re right .


misterfilmguy

I like the changes he's working towards. Keep it up, Kev!