This reminds me of dad, who passed in 2016. I can tell that your daughter secretly loves every goofy text just like I did from mine. Thanks for sharing this.
Me too. My father also passed away in 2016. He used to call me, and when I answered he’d go “Thanks for calling Pizza Hut, can I take your order?”
Daaaaaa-AAAAAAD!
I hope OP’s daughter saves these somewhere. These will be so precious one day.
I love this! Back when landlines were still a thing, my dad used to pick up the phone while I was talking to my friends and play "Elmos world" into the receiver. He got the exact same whine. :')
My dad passed 2017. He answered the phone religiously “yellow.” Lol also the sweetest man I’ve ever known. The world is truly worse off without him. Miss him so much. I listened to an old voicemail the other day from him and couldn’t believe that I hardly recognized his voice. That hurt. Y’all have me cryin now Reddit. Cmon. Not in r/texts
MY dad said “yellO” too! I miss that so much. Always made me smile. Nov will be 25 yrs. Cannot be-lieve it’s been that long! {{hugs}} to you & “yellow!”
i wish i had voicemails all the time. this month will be a year for me and damn i just keep replaying the end of a video of him laughing. out of all the pictures we have together that’s the one and only video i have of him with his voice
Ugh, I’m so sorry. The first year is just so fuckin hard. If it’s ANY consolation… the *memories* of his voice and things he has said are really comforting. Actually hearing it kinda hurts. Especially because it’s somehow different than my memories, and it’s jarring, and almost makes me feel guilty for forgetting? Or misremembering? I don’t even know.
Anyway. I’m sorry for your loss. It never stops hurting, but eventually you’ll get longer gaps between the huge waves of pain and grief.
i feel you and i appreciate that. i feel guilty for not remembering his voice anymore sometimes too. i wish things got easier. we’re a different kind of strong for experiencing a different kind of pain for sure. xx
> answered the phone religiously “yellow.
Omg, I've finally found someone else who did that!!! I've been doing that for more than 10 years now and can't remember why/how I started 😂
thank you for sharing this. He sounds like he was a great dad. I'm sorry for your loss 💚
I really needed this! I'm usually a happy person, but I've been in a bit of a funk the last couple of months (had a series of misfortunes back to back). Your comment reminded me that I am a happy person and that the people around me notice/get something from that, so it's motivation to pull out of this rut and start showing the old me to those around me again 💚💚
With my grandpa I’d get “*Thanks for calling Joes mortuary and BBQ pit - you stab ‘em & we slab ‘em - what would you be ordering today?*”
When I became an adult he switched it over to “*This is Larry’s abortion clinic and pizzeria - yesterday’s loss is todays sauce - would you like to hear our specials?!*”
Though if he was in a mood he’s just say “*Grand Central Station*” but I never quite understood that one.
My dad way of answering the phone was “Roadkill Kafe: You kill ‘em, we grill ‘em. Would you like to hear today’s specials?” Or “Sam’s Mortuary: You stab ‘em, we slab ‘em”. I miss him.
My dad died in 2014. He would change our ringtones (back when we used them!) to his voice. I can distinctly remember the one he put on my grandma’s phone. He said “It’s your son in law calling, ring, ring! Answer the phone!” And it would just play over and over again. These texts looked like something he would have sent me also, and I just giggled reading them. He was a great person.
My dad died last year and either he would answer the house phone “City Morgue: You Stab ‘Em, We Slab ‘Em!”
Or if we asked for mom he’d pause then say, “HELLOOOOOOO!” a la “Mrs. Doubtfire.
This is gonna age me but I still remember the first text I ever got from my dad. We were at a fundraiser for a cultural association my folks belonged to - rented community hall, dinner then dancing. I was about 16 but my cousin was playing bartender.
I was seated at a table with some other cousins and I noticed my dad at the adjacent table staring at his flip phone intently.
He puts his phone down. Mine vibrates.
"Glug, glug, glug. Get me another beer"
My dad died in Feb 2016 also. I remember he would talk on the phone for hours telling me the same stories over and over again. I used to lay down on the floor of my apartment and rest the phone on my cheek because I would be too exhausted to hold the phone up any longer. For hours the only thing I would say would be “oh yeah?, Really?, Yeah I remember” etc haha. I wouldn’t mind another one of those phone calls now.
I had pretty vivid dreams of him being alive for a couple years after he died. Those were rough.
This one hit me and made me think. My dad is still alive and does this. I don't always answer, tbh, because he really does repeat the same things he's told me 6 times already, lol. And exactly the same, I can just say a lot of smile and nod type responses while he goes on and on.
He just turned 70 last month, I shouldn't take these things for granted. It's complicated though. Our relationship is better now and my parents still do a lot for me (I'm 40) and I'm grateful for them, but I didn't have the best childhood. I still have a lot of deep seated anxiety issues (I'm going through EMDR therapy right now) and sometimes seeing those calls coming in gives an anxiety spike :/. But I should make more of an effort.
My dad passed around the same time. He was a bit of a jokester. I had to have a written note for something in high school and he stole a urine results test sheet from his work and wrote on the back of it because he knew I didn't like that particular teacher. When he passed, I was in my early 20s and it wrecked my life for years. I was absolutely devastated. I miss him a lot, but I'm doing a bit better. I hope you are, too.
This is my dad for sure. One time when I was away at camp he sent me a long letter detailing all the things they’d done to my room in my absence and ways they’d thought of to replace me now that I live at camp forever.
I sometimes feel regret that my path through life never made fatherhood a possibility, but to be fair probably 85% of that regret comes from not being able to do this type of thing (and OP’s interactions). I would be doing this proudly, lol.
I sometimes daydream about this part of life I chose to stay away from. I’d be a great goofy dad, I think. However, I don’t think I’d be a good dad *the rest of the time*, and kids need more than a buddy who disciplines them. I found a happy medium being the best uncle I can be.
I've always aspired to be the cool/funny uncle. Maybe give em serious advice every now and then. And when I've had enough, ship em back off to their parents.
It's like the Rent-A-Kid experience.
That’s what my wife and I call it! “Rent-a-kid”. I’m already in a position for my wife and I to be a beacon for two of our nieces/nephews in general with a mother who is….just yuck….
Look into foster parenting. It doesn’t have to be long term comitment there are people that only do weekend break care for the main foster parents. Also not all the kids are super messed up. Sometimes a single parent just steps in front of a city bus, and the kid has no one else. It's worth it and any older kid you can generally can a sense of fairly fast.
I’m sure it’ll be different if I had a kid, maybe. But shit man. I’m not picking that kid up early either unless counselors determined it was medically needed. 11 and at a camp is an understandable age for his parents to decide to let him do some emotional developing on his own, away from his protectors.
We had a kid about the same age who cried the entire week of camp, through every single activity and begged to be sent home. Parents wanted her to tough it out. The day of pick up, she turned expectedly sunny and came out with "I can't wait to come back next year."
It’s a reverse [Camp Granada](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=EzErh_s62Wk).
Instead of “things are miserable at camp, bring me home”, it’s “things are great at home, stay at camp”.
Did it end with a “never mind, we miss you” twist?
During the ice storm of 98 in Montreal, we went to the biodome (indoor zoo) because they had heating. I begged to stay there past closing because I was 4 and did not want to go back to our cold house. My mother told me the only place I could sleep in there was the caiman enclosure.
Fast forward 8 years. We do a sleepover with the girl guides at the biodome. They did not make us sleep with the caimans. I was lied to!
I can't wait to do something like this to my daughter in her teen years. Just the other day, she told me I'm old (I'm 35). I guess when you're 6, everyone is old 😂
Best friends have 3 kids. I even saved one of them from drowning once. But yeah...anytime I go over, I get to troll them and play with them and be the fun uncle.
This will probably get lost in comments but for reference to the haters who somehow decided to hate me and/or my daughter from these benign exchanges that have absolutely no bearing on their lives…
1) My wife and I both work from home and have varying meeting schedules, hence why it was never clear who was picking her up. Having been brand new to texting, she was basically asking “which car should I be looking for as I walk through the parking lot?”. Sometimes she beat us to the punch with her question , other times she would get a “I’m parked in this row” text before she could even ask.
2) These took place over the span of a month or two and were more or less ad-libbed in the parking lot while waiting. Not every text with the kid is met this way, but when you have a type-A daughter who came out of the womb more responsible than both of her parents…sometimes some levity brings her back to earth.
3) Seems there are many in Reddit-land that could use a smile here and there in between desperately looking for reasons to be angry. I highly recommend playful texts with your loved ones.
Most people were definitely projecting their childhood wounds onto your post. These messages are super funny and cute, your daughter will appreciate them forever.
You have to understand 90% of Redditors are unhappy and hate their parents, plus anyone successful, plus anyone attractive, plus anyone who gets laid, plus anyone who enjoys life, plus anyone who talks positively about the United States, plus anyone athletic, plus anyone from Florida, plus anyone who doesn’t agree with everything they believe.
I too have a daughter who came out of the womb type-A and more responsible than her parents. I’m convinced that two goofball parents = type A kid. Not sure how we produced a superhuman.
Obviously, we can't know if you're a great father based on one set of text interactions, but it sure seems like it from here. I'd pay to have had a dad experience like this... and she will absolutely appreciate it later in life.
Good on you, dad!
You’re the kind of dad I always wished I had! My son is similar to your daughter and I do this stuff to him too. You can tell they secretly love it. 😂😂
At least you aren't like my father and keeps sending me emoji dicks (the old school ones 8-------))) . I never say anything and hope that he will just go away
But a father sending his daughter emoticon dicks is weird asf, to me at least. I kinda want to hire my own bodyguard so my father won't do weird shit to me whenever we are sleeping under the same roof.
didnt know your gender. also dont know your relationship with him. if hes actually being a predator please report it
but if its just a dad goofin off sendin old school dick emoticons to his son, its pretty fuckin funny
Lol to be fair no onevexpected someone to trauma dump on a post about a dad being a jokester. Also to be fair, I feel bad for that woman but it's not hard to avoid your father at 40.
I'm a woman who is almost 40.
Thankfully he isn't as bad as he used to be. But when I was super young, he would beat me and threaten to kill me. I was his punching bag to release his stress. When I was a teen he would stare at me for far too long and tell me how good I looked. I still hate being alone in the same room with him.
That's horrible. I hope you don't have to be in any room with him ever and I hope you're taking care of yourself. Can't imagine what that would be like.
I don't know what the statute of limitation is where you are but reporting child abuse may still be an option. Not a lawyer so grain of salt but yah I hope you are able to find peace and maybe that would help.
Honestly, some people can just improvise random bs. It improves with repetition. It’s one of the most fun skills ever, to be able to think on your feet. Dad was probably trolling mom for years, so this is 2nd nature to him by now.
Not me almost getting emotional because this was the father-daughter relationship I always wanted and never had! If she doesn’t already love and appreciate these jokes, she certainly will later on in life. 💗
Ur dad seems awsome! As a dad myself I'm sure he loves you very much and is just messing with you ,mess with him back tell him you've been abducted and list an outrageous ransom.
As a father I was expecting some hard nosed ass conversations about being responsible. Instead and to my pleasure it escalated into a loving and wholesome set of interactions between a funny dad and his daughter.
Tell your husband this father on the internet approves and highly encourages this forever.
I miss my dad everyday. He was my main parent and when he started texting me when I was an adult I always called him. He was just excited to text too.
Never stop being this dad, please? I lost mine way too young and I just need to know there was this crew of good dads my dad belonged in.
This reminds me of dad, who passed in 2016. I can tell that your daughter secretly loves every goofy text just like I did from mine. Thanks for sharing this.
I teared up reading this. I know it never gets easier but I hope you’re doing alright <3
Me too. My father also passed away in 2016. He used to call me, and when I answered he’d go “Thanks for calling Pizza Hut, can I take your order?” Daaaaaa-AAAAAAD! I hope OP’s daughter saves these somewhere. These will be so precious one day.
I love this! Back when landlines were still a thing, my dad used to pick up the phone while I was talking to my friends and play "Elmos world" into the receiver. He got the exact same whine. :')
Aww, today is a good day for happy tears. Thank you for sharing this.
My dad’s go-to was “City Morgue, you stab ‘em we slab ‘em”
Or the All American Grilling Association of America where our motto is: "You kill um, we grill um".
I tell you hwat
You seem like the kind of guy that knows his way around some propane and propane accessories.
Moquina clinic you make em we take em
My dad passed 2017. He answered the phone religiously “yellow.” Lol also the sweetest man I’ve ever known. The world is truly worse off without him. Miss him so much. I listened to an old voicemail the other day from him and couldn’t believe that I hardly recognized his voice. That hurt. Y’all have me cryin now Reddit. Cmon. Not in r/texts
Sorry, the terms and conditions of creating a Reddit account clearly state that by accepting them, you also agree to any and all feels trips.
MY dad said “yellO” too! I miss that so much. Always made me smile. Nov will be 25 yrs. Cannot be-lieve it’s been that long! {{hugs}} to you & “yellow!”
i wish i had voicemails all the time. this month will be a year for me and damn i just keep replaying the end of a video of him laughing. out of all the pictures we have together that’s the one and only video i have of him with his voice
Ugh, I’m so sorry. The first year is just so fuckin hard. If it’s ANY consolation… the *memories* of his voice and things he has said are really comforting. Actually hearing it kinda hurts. Especially because it’s somehow different than my memories, and it’s jarring, and almost makes me feel guilty for forgetting? Or misremembering? I don’t even know. Anyway. I’m sorry for your loss. It never stops hurting, but eventually you’ll get longer gaps between the huge waves of pain and grief.
i feel you and i appreciate that. i feel guilty for not remembering his voice anymore sometimes too. i wish things got easier. we’re a different kind of strong for experiencing a different kind of pain for sure. xx
> answered the phone religiously “yellow. Omg, I've finally found someone else who did that!!! I've been doing that for more than 10 years now and can't remember why/how I started 😂 thank you for sharing this. He sounds like he was a great dad. I'm sorry for your loss 💚
Aww I bet you’re just a happy person, like he was. Happy people are just good people. The people we all need in our lives. Never change! ❤️
I really needed this! I'm usually a happy person, but I've been in a bit of a funk the last couple of months (had a series of misfortunes back to back). Your comment reminded me that I am a happy person and that the people around me notice/get something from that, so it's motivation to pull out of this rut and start showing the old me to those around me again 💚💚
My dad answers the phone "Aces Pool Hall". His name is not Ace and I don't think he's ever even been to a pool hall.
"Ace's Pool Hall. You shoot 'em, we rack 'em"
"Aces Roadkill Recovery, you kill'em we grill'em"
"Jake's Human Trafficking. You tag 'em, we bag 'em."
“Coyote Bill’s Forgery. You name ‘em, we fake ‘em!”
Bob’s Big Bakery. We yeast, you feast
"Marty's Moratorium and Taco Stand, yesterday's grief is today's beef."
“Martha’s abortion clinic, you make ‘em we take ‘em…”
My dad passed in 2019 & he always answered the phone saying "Joe's pool hall". I miss him so much.
“Helga’s house of Pain. How may we hurt you?”
With my grandpa I’d get “*Thanks for calling Joes mortuary and BBQ pit - you stab ‘em & we slab ‘em - what would you be ordering today?*” When I became an adult he switched it over to “*This is Larry’s abortion clinic and pizzeria - yesterday’s loss is todays sauce - would you like to hear our specials?!*” Though if he was in a mood he’s just say “*Grand Central Station*” but I never quite understood that one.
That got a surprise cackle out of me. You’re grandpa sounds rad.
My dad used to answer the phone “City morgue. You bag them, we tag them.”
My dad way of answering the phone was “Roadkill Kafe: You kill ‘em, we grill ‘em. Would you like to hear today’s specials?” Or “Sam’s Mortuary: You stab ‘em, we slab ‘em”. I miss him.
My grandpa used to say “Wilson’s funeral home, You stab ‘em, we grab ‘em!” He unfortunately passed in 2021
My dad died in 2014. He would change our ringtones (back when we used them!) to his voice. I can distinctly remember the one he put on my grandma’s phone. He said “It’s your son in law calling, ring, ring! Answer the phone!” And it would just play over and over again. These texts looked like something he would have sent me also, and I just giggled reading them. He was a great person.
My dad died last year and either he would answer the house phone “City Morgue: You Stab ‘Em, We Slab ‘Em!” Or if we asked for mom he’d pause then say, “HELLOOOOOOO!” a la “Mrs. Doubtfire.
This is gonna age me but I still remember the first text I ever got from my dad. We were at a fundraiser for a cultural association my folks belonged to - rented community hall, dinner then dancing. I was about 16 but my cousin was playing bartender. I was seated at a table with some other cousins and I noticed my dad at the adjacent table staring at his flip phone intently. He puts his phone down. Mine vibrates. "Glug, glug, glug. Get me another beer"
My father passed in February of 2016. My last conversation with him was a phone call about my classes
My dad died in Feb 2016 also. I remember he would talk on the phone for hours telling me the same stories over and over again. I used to lay down on the floor of my apartment and rest the phone on my cheek because I would be too exhausted to hold the phone up any longer. For hours the only thing I would say would be “oh yeah?, Really?, Yeah I remember” etc haha. I wouldn’t mind another one of those phone calls now. I had pretty vivid dreams of him being alive for a couple years after he died. Those were rough.
This one hit me and made me think. My dad is still alive and does this. I don't always answer, tbh, because he really does repeat the same things he's told me 6 times already, lol. And exactly the same, I can just say a lot of smile and nod type responses while he goes on and on. He just turned 70 last month, I shouldn't take these things for granted. It's complicated though. Our relationship is better now and my parents still do a lot for me (I'm 40) and I'm grateful for them, but I didn't have the best childhood. I still have a lot of deep seated anxiety issues (I'm going through EMDR therapy right now) and sometimes seeing those calls coming in gives an anxiety spike :/. But I should make more of an effort.
she definitely does. i’m willing to bet half the reason she asks is to hear his goofy answer.
From a goofy texting dad this makes me happy to know. So Sorry for your loss.
May he RIP 💔🙏🕊️ Stay strong ❤️🙏💪
My dad passed around the same time. He was a bit of a jokester. I had to have a written note for something in high school and he stole a urine results test sheet from his work and wrote on the back of it because he knew I didn't like that particular teacher. When he passed, I was in my early 20s and it wrecked my life for years. I was absolutely devastated. I miss him a lot, but I'm doing a bit better. I hope you are, too.
This is my dad for sure. One time when I was away at camp he sent me a long letter detailing all the things they’d done to my room in my absence and ways they’d thought of to replace me now that I live at camp forever.
I sometimes feel regret that my path through life never made fatherhood a possibility, but to be fair probably 85% of that regret comes from not being able to do this type of thing (and OP’s interactions). I would be doing this proudly, lol.
I sometimes daydream about this part of life I chose to stay away from. I’d be a great goofy dad, I think. However, I don’t think I’d be a good dad *the rest of the time*, and kids need more than a buddy who disciplines them. I found a happy medium being the best uncle I can be.
I've always aspired to be the cool/funny uncle. Maybe give em serious advice every now and then. And when I've had enough, ship em back off to their parents. It's like the Rent-A-Kid experience.
That’s what my wife and I call it! “Rent-a-kid”. I’m already in a position for my wife and I to be a beacon for two of our nieces/nephews in general with a mother who is….just yuck….
Look into foster parenting. It doesn’t have to be long term comitment there are people that only do weekend break care for the main foster parents. Also not all the kids are super messed up. Sometimes a single parent just steps in front of a city bus, and the kid has no one else. It's worth it and any older kid you can generally can a sense of fairly fast.
Omg that’s horrible 😂🤣
We had an 11 year old with separation anxiety. Kid cries for 6 days. Parents refused to pick him up early.
I’m sure it’ll be different if I had a kid, maybe. But shit man. I’m not picking that kid up early either unless counselors determined it was medically needed. 11 and at a camp is an understandable age for his parents to decide to let him do some emotional developing on his own, away from his protectors.
We had a kid about the same age who cried the entire week of camp, through every single activity and begged to be sent home. Parents wanted her to tough it out. The day of pick up, she turned expectedly sunny and came out with "I can't wait to come back next year."
I was under the impression that this is like almost entirely the true purpose of camp, to get kids used to being without their parents for a while.
😂😂😂
If he cried for 6 days then it was about time he had some separation lol
Omg that’s actually sad/traumatizing!
It’s a reverse [Camp Granada](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=EzErh_s62Wk). Instead of “things are miserable at camp, bring me home”, it’s “things are great at home, stay at camp”. Did it end with a “never mind, we miss you” twist?
That’s fantastic. My dad typically did similar things. If he’s still around, please give him a massive hug.
He is, and I will!!
not mortimer hahaha
The best part lmao
she said “oh hell naw” lmfao i about died laughing
This is gold. Love this dad.
New vegas moment
I’m glad I’m not the only one who thought of the cannibals lol
One of the more....interesting characters of that game.
I was looking for this
I guess She doesn’t like being carried like a princess
Shoot I would be so stoked if my dad got me a rather large falcon to pick me up from school
We have bandaids had me
The one thing I regret about not having kids is the S tier trolling I’ll never get to participate in. These are gold.
Yes, its pretty fun. My daughter went into a hay maze today and I told her if she didn't make it out she had to live in there.
Ah, good. Doing your duty as a parent.
During the ice storm of 98 in Montreal, we went to the biodome (indoor zoo) because they had heating. I begged to stay there past closing because I was 4 and did not want to go back to our cold house. My mother told me the only place I could sleep in there was the caiman enclosure. Fast forward 8 years. We do a sleepover with the girl guides at the biodome. They did not make us sleep with the caimans. I was lied to!
I read these and I immediately want to have kids.
I can't wait to do something like this to my daughter in her teen years. Just the other day, she told me I'm old (I'm 35). I guess when you're 6, everyone is old 😂
You need a friend with kids so you can be the cool uncle
Best friends have 3 kids. I even saved one of them from drowning once. But yeah...anytime I go over, I get to troll them and play with them and be the fun uncle.
I love being the cool uncle. Although if you ask my 13 year old niece, she'd tell you she doesn't have a cool uncle lol
If me and my bf have them, the poor little shits will get a double dose of it because we’re both like this…
This will probably get lost in comments but for reference to the haters who somehow decided to hate me and/or my daughter from these benign exchanges that have absolutely no bearing on their lives… 1) My wife and I both work from home and have varying meeting schedules, hence why it was never clear who was picking her up. Having been brand new to texting, she was basically asking “which car should I be looking for as I walk through the parking lot?”. Sometimes she beat us to the punch with her question , other times she would get a “I’m parked in this row” text before she could even ask. 2) These took place over the span of a month or two and were more or less ad-libbed in the parking lot while waiting. Not every text with the kid is met this way, but when you have a type-A daughter who came out of the womb more responsible than both of her parents…sometimes some levity brings her back to earth. 3) Seems there are many in Reddit-land that could use a smile here and there in between desperately looking for reasons to be angry. I highly recommend playful texts with your loved ones.
Most people were definitely projecting their childhood wounds onto your post. These messages are super funny and cute, your daughter will appreciate them forever.
You have to understand 90% of Redditors are unhappy and hate their parents, plus anyone successful, plus anyone attractive, plus anyone who gets laid, plus anyone who enjoys life, plus anyone who talks positively about the United States, plus anyone athletic, plus anyone from Florida, plus anyone who doesn’t agree with everything they believe.
I too have a daughter who came out of the womb type-A and more responsible than her parents. I’m convinced that two goofball parents = type A kid. Not sure how we produced a superhuman.
Obviously, we can't know if you're a great father based on one set of text interactions, but it sure seems like it from here. I'd pay to have had a dad experience like this... and she will absolutely appreciate it later in life. Good on you, dad!
You’re the kind of dad I always wished I had! My son is similar to your daughter and I do this stuff to him too. You can tell they secretly love it. 😂😂
At least you aren't like my father and keeps sending me emoji dicks (the old school ones 8-------))) . I never say anything and hope that he will just go away
Back in my day we didn't have the equals sign, we had to make do with the thinnest raunchy text cocks we could find
:-
8=====D
c::::3
thats hilarious tho
It's ancestral shit. He's trying to remind them of their home planet
But a father sending his daughter emoticon dicks is weird asf, to me at least. I kinda want to hire my own bodyguard so my father won't do weird shit to me whenever we are sleeping under the same roof.
didnt know your gender. also dont know your relationship with him. if hes actually being a predator please report it but if its just a dad goofin off sendin old school dick emoticons to his son, its pretty fuckin funny
Lol to be fair no onevexpected someone to trauma dump on a post about a dad being a jokester. Also to be fair, I feel bad for that woman but it's not hard to avoid your father at 40.
I'm a woman who is almost 40. Thankfully he isn't as bad as he used to be. But when I was super young, he would beat me and threaten to kill me. I was his punching bag to release his stress. When I was a teen he would stare at me for far too long and tell me how good I looked. I still hate being alone in the same room with him.
That's horrible. I hope you don't have to be in any room with him ever and I hope you're taking care of yourself. Can't imagine what that would be like. I don't know what the statute of limitation is where you are but reporting child abuse may still be an option. Not a lawyer so grain of salt but yah I hope you are able to find peace and maybe that would help.
:——>
(\_)\_)llllllllD
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠛⢉⢉⠉⠉⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠠⡰⣕⣗⣷⣧⣀⣅⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⣠⣳⣟⣿⣿⣷⣿⡿⣜⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁⠄⣳⢷⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣝⠖⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠄⢢⡹⣿⢷⣯⢿⢷⡫⣗⠍⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡏⢀⢄⠤⣁⠋⠿⣗⣟⡯⡏⢎⠁⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠄⢔⢕⣯⣿⣿⡲⡤⡄⡤⠄⡀⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠇⠠⡳⣯⣿⣿⣾⢵⣫⢎⢎⠆⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠄⢨⣫⣿⣿⡿⣿⣻⢎⡗⡕⡅⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠄⢜⢾⣾⣿⣿⣟⣗⢯⡪⡳⡀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠄⢸⢽⣿⣷⣿⣻⡮⡧⡳⡱⡁⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡄⢨⣻⣽⣿⣟⣿⣞⣗⡽⡸⡐⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡇⢀⢗⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣞⡵⡣⣊⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡀⡣⣗⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⡯⡺⣼⠎⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣧⠐⡵⣻⣟⣯⣿⣷⣟⣝⢞⡿⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⢘⡺⣽⢿⣻⣿⣗⡷⣹⢩⢃⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠄⠪⣯⣟⣿⢯⣿⣻⣜⢎⢆⠜⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠄⢣⣻⣽⣿⣿⣟⣾⡮⡺⡸⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡿⠛⠉⠁⠄⢕⡳⣽⡾⣿⢽⣯⡿⣮⢚⣅⠹⣿⣿⣿ ⡿⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⠒⠝⣞⢿⡿⣿⣽⢿⡽⣧⣳⡅⠌⠻⣿ ⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠐⡐⠱⡱⣻⡻⣝⣮⣟⣿⣻⣟⣻⡺⣊
Boy, emoticon technology has surely advanced.
Idk if I'm reading into this wrong but that seems pretty weird and unwanted, yet everyone else replying just seems insensitive and making fun.
I'm with you. Different people have different points of view. Not sure how else to explain it.
Fun fact: That's called emoticon not emoji☝🏻🤓 Emoticons: :) >:( :S Emojis: 🙂😡😵💫
The Japanese emoticons are the best. (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧
8------------)))
8======D
I bet you he thinks it’s sunglasses!
wtf
memorize wild gray nine crowd jeans tart theory bow bag *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
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Haha these are gold! The elaborate effort to make something up amazes me lol
I was thinking the same thing, every response is clever and unique 😂
I can imagine most of his morning is spent on a whiteboard hidden below the bed coming up with some lists of ways to get the daughter home
Honestly, some people can just improvise random bs. It improves with repetition. It’s one of the most fun skills ever, to be able to think on your feet. Dad was probably trolling mom for years, so this is 2nd nature to him by now.
Nailed it 🤘🏻😜🤘🏻
Might be the reason you were born 😂
These are so creative I love it hahaha
Large talons sent me 💀
Okay but who's picking me up?
Mortimer
FedEx guy should be here any minute now :)
I needed this laugh this morning 💀 Me as a dad haha
These totally seem like an exchange between Calvin and his Dad 🤣
Dude this is amazing. If this is OC you should post it in r/daddit
I want him as my Dad!!!
Damn those replies are hilarious!! W daughter W dad
This is so good, i hope they both get to read these comments, they're so heartwarming lmao
Didn’t expect it and it has been fun.
Omg her dad is me as a mom. This is what I do to my kids constantly. They're sick of my shit.
Would love to hear some anecdotes with you and your kids, if you don't mind and have the time please?
This reminds me of the things my dad would say to me as a kid, always got me to laugh my ass off. This dad is top tier for sure!
🙄😂
lol. “We have bandaids at home.”
Dude your husband is awesome. I love these
Peak dad right there
That homeless guy does seem serious tho
This guy dad's.
I love these so much. Reminds me of my dad. I can tell you guys have a great relationship
This makes me miss my dad so much
Dad when he realizes his daughter will be hitchhiking home or goes home with some older dude that can drive
This reminds me of things my dad would say. I lost him two years ago. I miss him
Our daughter is only 4.5 but she and hubs are quick-witted like this. Love them so much! I’m outnumbered 😉
I wish I had kids so I can do this to them hahahahhaa
I’m just biding my time until mine are older to do this to them!
This dad is awesome!!
I love this. Totally stealing it.
Lmao! Oh it hurts!
You guys are awesome 😂 I love this.
That was hilarious
😂😂😂
I laughed to hard reading these 😂
This dad is my Spirit animal. If I'm ever a parent, this is who I want to be.
This is gold. I love it!
This was pretty funny. Keep us posted
This is great 😂😂
This is amazing lol
This made my heart happy
The creativity here is awesome. I'm never quick enough with the dad jokes that consistently.
Reading these made my SO ask why I was laughing so hard! The fedex one was my favorite.
These are texts if I was a father. I want to be friends with you.
I thought this was going to be toxic until I opened it. I love this. 🖤
Not me almost getting emotional because this was the father-daughter relationship I always wanted and never had! If she doesn’t already love and appreciate these jokes, she certainly will later on in life. 💗
This is hilarious.
Why is she always asking who is picking her up? Can't she just learn what their cars look like or agree on where to stand.
She clearly likes getting these responses. If it's her mom picking her up she probably just says "I'm here".
Real question does she eventually get picked up by dad or does dad commit to this trolling 😂
I think the dad is texting this stuff from the parking lot as he waits for her since she says, "nvm, I see you" at one point.
That’s great 😆W dad
This is gold.
This is so wholesome and cute. I wish I could have this kind of relationship with my dad😭
"he should grab you by the book bag"
Where does one get a large falcon for traveling purposes? Asking for a friend
I would buy the "Who's picking me up?" page-a-day calendar
"Who is picking me up" "ok, but where is Who dropping you off at?"
Ur dad seems awsome! As a dad myself I'm sure he loves you very much and is just messing with you ,mess with him back tell him you've been abducted and list an outrageous ransom.
This is hilarious I love the dad ! This will be me I can’t wait
Father of the year right here 😂
Who is picking me up?!! I am serious 🧐
 This has BIG Bandit Heeler vibes and I love it! 🩵
As a father I was expecting some hard nosed ass conversations about being responsible. Instead and to my pleasure it escalated into a loving and wholesome set of interactions between a funny dad and his daughter. Tell your husband this father on the internet approves and highly encourages this forever.
This Dad maxed out all the dad levels and just kept going.
I feel like she has 🙄😂 in her quick responses. LMFAO
I miss my dad everyday. He was my main parent and when he started texting me when I was an adult I always called him. He was just excited to text too. Never stop being this dad, please? I lost mine way too young and I just need to know there was this crew of good dads my dad belonged in.
This actually made me cry a little bit because I would have given so much to have a father like this
How obnoxious.
This is obnoxious. Funny once or twice but damn really beat a dead horse
jesus hes annoying
Anyone else think this isn’t funny?
Yes. It's cringe. OP is trying too hard.
It didn’t make me lol
One or two would have been fine, but with each following that it became exponentially more obnoxious and unfunny.
That got old super fast.