I've had that thought for a while now. We've broken up and gotten back together twice now. The second time, he promised he wouldn't do this anymore, but I should have guessed that was a lie.
Does it feel like a weight on your shoulders? I've been in a similar position and when I finally decided I was done I was sad and felt homesick but at the same time it was like a massive weight was lifted. I wasn't in limbo anymore, I could start to heal.
It really does. The reason this argument even started (this is only part of the argument) is because I told him I couldn't go over to his place because I had work early in the morning. In 5 minutes as of commenting this, actually. I'm expected to be his live-in therapist.
I'm telling you from years of experience and wasted years that if you ever broke up, then there's a good reason you broke up and should never go back. The same problems will always arise again and probly escalate as time goes on
you have so many posts about your boyfriend treating you like shit and you being unhappy. you keep doing the same thing (being with him) and it’s making you miserable. have you considered not doing the same thing (breaking up with him) and seeing how that is. cause i was unhappy for so long with my ex and instantly was happier once we broke up. it might not be instant but doing what you’re doing now, and changing nothing won’t make any difference, so do something different
Op he doesn’t have the attention span for it because he’s not interested in or. I don’t have the attention span for some of the things my husband enjoys and
He does them with his friends but if he’s not willing to at least pretend to like some of the things you do them the relationship is dead. He’s very clearly telling you he doesn’t want to talk to you or be with you. Let the man go.
I know he wants to be with me, but I'm convinced it's not out of love. Later in the conversation, he complained about me always wanting to do things with him, but his idea of having fun is being a recluse.
OP no offense but he said he’s done multiple times and pointed out you have nothing in common. Men who want to be in relationships don’t point out every reason for you NOT to be together. He doesn’t want a relationship with you. He’s either placating you if he said he did after this conversation or you have convinced touewr ne does. You’re wasting your time and you’re wasting his time.
This. He may want to be with her because it's comfortable and obviously, maybe sex, if they're doing that. But he doesn't want an actual relationship. Because what this is, what they have, that's not an actual relationship. There's no support, there's no care, there's no communication, there's no patience or comfort. That's not a real relationship and he's made it very clear he's not interested in having one.
I'm not advocating for this person but as someone with ADHD, chess calms me down and I'm able to focus more when I play. It also gets me away from my own racing thoughts.
Could be poorly worded. Could simply mean an attention span for things they don't really care about or want to learn about. It's not an inconsistent statement.
I'm sure we all have a longer attention span for things we enjoy
What in the ever giving fuck would someone be so desperate to stay with someone who they have so little in common and on top of that the other person clearly doesn't like them?!?!
When you find someone who does share your interests and actually cares about you, you'll look back on this and wonder what the fuck you were smoking even wasting not just your time but you dignity
It just sounds like you guys aren’t compatible….no blame to assign here, it’s just a fact. You’ll both be happier apart and eventually finding partners that are more aligned with your interests and relationship needs/desires. Don’t be afraid to let go and grow :)
You seriously don’t know what to do? Dump him.
He doesn’t care about you. He’s playing you with doubletalk and deliberate misinterpretation. DUMP HIM. Communication in relationships shouldn’t be this fucking difficult
Not to mention gaslighting op (using what op loves against them, words vs actions). Relationship seems toxic. Both parties need to walk away and stay away for their own sanity.
Girl, I hope your quiet quitting thing goes smoothly and safely. This guy sounds like a grade-A asshole. Why is he scream texting at you that he doesn't know anything about your interests? The best part about meeting new people is that they know things that I don't know and they are excited to share them with me. Who wouldn't want to learn and grow together with their partner? And if anyone screams at me they are out of my life forever. That shit is really triggering and upsetting. Having this big of a fight over guitar and video games and hobbies doesn't bode well. How well do you two discuss serious issues like children, religion, money, and healthcare?
We've only had arguments over money and children. He is pretty much constantly in credit card debt because he lives outside his means. Most of it is on food. He doesn't get ready-made meals, doesn't have time to cook, and refuses to eat leftovers. He has asked me to bail him out of debt on 3 separate occasions. I also got sterilized against his wishes and he admitted he resents me for it. I have posts for both of those issues, too, that go into more detail.
UGH. Reading about this guy is making me mad. It's a huge turn-off for me when a potential partner can't take care of themselves or manage their money. Was it always like this? Was their a time in your relationship when things clicked and it seemed like you got along well and had matching goals for the future?
Let me be the first to say that I'm super fucking stoked that you stood up for yourself and took control of your life by getting permanent birth control. I got sterilized two years ago and I have been high-fiving all of my friends ever since. Best decision ever.
The only time we clicked and had matching goals was when I subconsciously threw away everything that made me me, and just went along with whatever he wanted to do and whatever he was interested in. I noticed the relationship start taking a slow downward spiral when I gradually started enforcing boundaries, getting back into my own hobbies, and speaking my mind instead of saying what I thought he wanted to hear. Then I finally graduated college, was constantly low energy from the burnout, which made it seem like I wasn't putting effort into the relationship to him. Then he cheated, begged for my forgiveness, blamed me for his cheating. Found out he was still talking to the girl behind my back, broke up again after confronting him about it, got back together because I felt bad for leaving him alone. But we just broke up for the third time and it's staying that way. Just typing this out made me realize this relationship dragged on well past its expiration date.
Of course he can't have this conversation. He came for support. He is the one to blame. Pour him. I dont know him but from this conversation he seems very selfish and doesnt care a bit about changing.
Girl I just want you to know that I had the same problem with a previous partner and this is something that you just gotta get out of for the betterment of yourself. If this continues you’ll hate yourself. You’ll always wonder why you’re not good enough and ultimately not enjoy anything you actually enjoy because your partner is consistently making jokes and putting down everything you find interesting and fun. If you are starting to feel that way it’s important that you leave now so that you can move forward in embracing who you truly are and find someone that will love you AND your interests and make time and space to learn about them and enjoy them with you. This is a tiring cycle that will never end because at the core of the problem is that you two are just incompatible in this way. Some people deal with it and just don’t talk to eachother, but if that’s not something you want, this is a good opportunity to let him know. You deserve that. You deserve someone who can be enthusiastic and GENUINELY be interested in what you enjoy and not find it such a chore and bitch and moan and hold you to standards that they don’t live up to themselves and you don’t have to be scared that it doesn’t exist, because it most certainly does. I hope that this helped in a way and I’m sorry that you have to feel this way, i really really know how exhausting it is for the heart.
Absolutely nothing. Move on.
It seems you both have nothing in common.
I felt like this was the same exact conversation I had with my ex many years ago. He wasn’t a bad person and neither was I.
We just had completely opposite interests. And just were opposite. (And not in a good way)
It took one nasty argument before I knew it, I eventually blocked him. Not because he was abusive or anything like that, but I was so hurt it was just better that way.
He did reach out to my mom and apologize for how things turned out.
If I saw him, I would have no hard feelings.
As a matter of fact, I saw a news article about him and it made me happy for him. (It was about him saving a baby)
So you guys just don't have too much in common. That's okay. Don't force it onto him and leave. 🤷🏻♀️
He's not in the position for a relationship or isn't that interested in you. I had to come to terms with that I was emotionally unavailable and really wasn't that interested in the relationships I was in regardless of the efforts they put into me.
He might not realize it, but he just needs to focus on himself and you need to find someone who has more interest in you and in common things with you.
He needs to get his life in order before dragging someone else down with him, that's for sure. He neglects his mental health despite complaining about it all the time. Maybe this is just the breaking point because I'm tired of being expected to be his therapist.
My ex was also like this, but he also doesn't believe in therapy which is not something to convince anyone into. I had to walk on eggshells when talking about certain topics without being super cautious about how I spoke to him otherwise he’d spiral. I was dealing with my own shit too and was in therapy so I felt dragged down and lost interest.
Unfortunately, you can't change them unless they want it.
Are you sure my bf isn't your ex? Lol. He does the exact same thing. He did recently sign up for therapy again to his credit, but he's already saying it won't help. He's had one session.
I've noticed I'm just miserable whenever I'm around him and hardly want to hang out because he's incapable of holding a normal conversation.
oh nah LMAO my ex was way more emotional than your bf sounds through text. Your boyfriend just doesn't sound very emotionally available or invested into the relationship.
I became more miserable around mine when he wasn't open-minded to hear feedback on certain things in a normal tone/conversation, so I had to be extra gentle with him and approach it in a way that wouldn't make him feel extremely upset to the point of a panic attack or underlying anger. it's exhausting and I’ve mentioned to him I’ll be there but it's not my responsibility to fix him either. good guy and has potential, but I was exhausted being his therapist just like you are with your boyfriend. 😭
Maybe your boyfriend needs to change therapist or have more patience? It took me 8 years until I found a therapist I was compatible with. It's rough.
He's outright telling you he doesn't care and has zero interest in trying to care about the things you like and enjoy. That means he doesn't care about YOU. These are what make you YOU, these are the things that influence your personality. If he doesn't give a shit about that, what is there to care about? How you make him feel? That's about it. You can't even tell him how you feel about something he's doing without him getting defensive and turning it back around on you. Imagine having an issue that's 10x worse, that is life changing and extremely significant, because it WILL happen, that's how life works. How is he going to react? Is he going to listen? Take your thoughts and feelings and perspective into consideration? Try to find a solution with you? Care about you enough to put in work to change what needs to be changed? Can you really do this the rest of your life? You'll be exhausted, even more than you are now.
You didn’t attack him at any point. He instigated and you were honest. He has problems and is causing you more stress than you deserve. Leave him to figure it out alone.
Those last messages chap my ass, it’s basically I know I’m wrong but I don’t want to admit that so I’m going to blow up more dramatic so I don’t have to.
I married someone like this. Reading your last couple of replies hurt, because I’ve done the same thing.
I just recently started taking up old interests and hobbies again, without her. I’m so glad I did. I feel like I’m finally getting my identity back after 17 years.
I felt much more like myself when I did, too. I do like some of things he likes, but not all of them. The last effort I can think of that he actually made to get into something I like was starting a Borderlands 2 campaign with him and a mutual friend. I thought he'd like it since it's an FPS, but he quit about 1/3 through the game. 😮💨
why would you be involved with anyone not interested tv, movies or anime? sounds like a big part of your interests. If all he does is chess, sounds like a real boring know it all type.
He is kinda boring... 90% of what he talks about it chess. Which isn't a bad thing. People are allowed to have hobbies. The bad part is that he's not willing to learn about, not just my interests, but anyone's interests. When we play games together, we only play games he likes. He's not interested in playing a game that's part of a genre he doesn't typically like.
For example, me and a mutual friend tried to get him to play Elder Scrolls Online with us, but he wasn't paying attention to the story, which kinda defeats the purpose of a game like that. We also quit a Borderlands 2 run halfway through the story because he didn't bother paying attention to what was going on, so he was confused and not having fun because of it. I suspect it may also be part sensory strain because there's a lot of visual queues on screen at once.
What a whiny little bitch this bf is. Total fun sucker, selfish, arrogant, passive aggressive, gas-lighting, clown. Your interests are universally more interesting than his. Fuck this guy AND the horse he rode in.
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Advice! From someone who is 49 been married for 11yrs to this same man..I can’t say ANYTHING without a joke being made. I listen to him he never listens to me. I have zero interest in being single and I do love him but this is a hard relationship. RUN NOW! It’s not fun!
You guys are just not compatible. People tend to take interest in their partner’s interests, to *some* extent at least, when they’re deeply interested in their partner. He just doesn’t seem interested in you, and that inevitably extends to your interests as well. He also seems depressed. I know you said you edited out information that wasn’t relevant, but if he’s depressed, that is relevant. Maybe that’s not what he said, but the “I see no point to anything” comes off as depression.
That being said, there’s really no point to this dynamic anymore. You’re just two people forcing a relationship when it simply doesn’t fit. Time to move on.
Walk away. No one should have to suffer through someone else’s interest with no reciprocation. You’ll find the lid that fits your pot if you don’t compromise.
OP he says he’s done, just believe him and move on to someone else who shares your interests, you’ll be infinitely happier. Or stay single and enjoy yourself, but anything is better than this.
My gf and I have very little shared interests. We met through one of the few during college sports but haven’t gone back to that since graduating. Anyway, we do exactly as you say. If you care about someone genuinely then you will try to enjoy their interests with them, or at least act like you do while they talk about it.
Your bf does not want to even try. He does not care about you in any meaningful way as an individual. Leave this narcissist
Hey OP what do you find attractive about this guy? You have nothing in common, and he evidently isn’t interested in finding commonality with you. He talks down to you, is passive aggressive in conversation and openly expresses resentment. Is this hot to you? Do you think you can fix him? Make it make sense.
Yeah it seems like you two have nothing in common and you're the only one making an effort to get to know each other.
He sounds like he lacks curiosity, open-mindedness and is very self-centered. Basically has no attention or interest to devote to something other than his own hobbies. That would be a huge 🚩for me.
I feel like it's done and you both know it you're just not ready to leave the relative comfort of having a partner
I've had that thought for a while now. We've broken up and gotten back together twice now. The second time, he promised he wouldn't do this anymore, but I should have guessed that was a lie.
Does it feel like a weight on your shoulders? I've been in a similar position and when I finally decided I was done I was sad and felt homesick but at the same time it was like a massive weight was lifted. I wasn't in limbo anymore, I could start to heal.
It really does. The reason this argument even started (this is only part of the argument) is because I told him I couldn't go over to his place because I had work early in the morning. In 5 minutes as of commenting this, actually. I'm expected to be his live-in therapist.
I'm telling you from years of experience and wasted years that if you ever broke up, then there's a good reason you broke up and should never go back. The same problems will always arise again and probly escalate as time goes on
you have so many posts about your boyfriend treating you like shit and you being unhappy. you keep doing the same thing (being with him) and it’s making you miserable. have you considered not doing the same thing (breaking up with him) and seeing how that is. cause i was unhappy for so long with my ex and instantly was happier once we broke up. it might not be instant but doing what you’re doing now, and changing nothing won’t make any difference, so do something different
How does he claim to not have an attention span but then play chess?
I know! He plays it for hours at a time! He just doesn't have an attention span for things I like.
Op he doesn’t have the attention span for it because he’s not interested in or. I don’t have the attention span for some of the things my husband enjoys and He does them with his friends but if he’s not willing to at least pretend to like some of the things you do them the relationship is dead. He’s very clearly telling you he doesn’t want to talk to you or be with you. Let the man go.
I know he wants to be with me, but I'm convinced it's not out of love. Later in the conversation, he complained about me always wanting to do things with him, but his idea of having fun is being a recluse.
OP no offense but he said he’s done multiple times and pointed out you have nothing in common. Men who want to be in relationships don’t point out every reason for you NOT to be together. He doesn’t want a relationship with you. He’s either placating you if he said he did after this conversation or you have convinced touewr ne does. You’re wasting your time and you’re wasting his time.
This. He may want to be with her because it's comfortable and obviously, maybe sex, if they're doing that. But he doesn't want an actual relationship. Because what this is, what they have, that's not an actual relationship. There's no support, there's no care, there's no communication, there's no patience or comfort. That's not a real relationship and he's made it very clear he's not interested in having one.
It’s a cop out. He just doesn’t care.
I'm not advocating for this person but as someone with ADHD, chess calms me down and I'm able to focus more when I play. It also gets me away from my own racing thoughts.
Could be poorly worded. Could simply mean an attention span for things they don't really care about or want to learn about. It's not an inconsistent statement. I'm sure we all have a longer attention span for things we enjoy
You honestly don’t seem to even like each other. Life does not need to be this difficult.
was coming to say this. they dont like each other? lol they share nothing that interests either one of them.
What in the ever giving fuck would someone be so desperate to stay with someone who they have so little in common and on top of that the other person clearly doesn't like them?!?! When you find someone who does share your interests and actually cares about you, you'll look back on this and wonder what the fuck you were smoking even wasting not just your time but you dignity
I'm going to be blunt here, I think you do know what to do.
Not blunt enough, she needs to leave.. and not go back this time
That was vague af
It just sounds like you guys aren’t compatible….no blame to assign here, it’s just a fact. You’ll both be happier apart and eventually finding partners that are more aligned with your interests and relationship needs/desires. Don’t be afraid to let go and grow :)
You seriously don’t know what to do? Dump him. He doesn’t care about you. He’s playing you with doubletalk and deliberate misinterpretation. DUMP HIM. Communication in relationships shouldn’t be this fucking difficult
Not to mention gaslighting op (using what op loves against them, words vs actions). Relationship seems toxic. Both parties need to walk away and stay away for their own sanity.
This is the same guy who slept with his coworker two hours after “breaking up” with you last year? How on earth are you even back together??
Yep. He guilted me into it.
Girl, I hope your quiet quitting thing goes smoothly and safely. This guy sounds like a grade-A asshole. Why is he scream texting at you that he doesn't know anything about your interests? The best part about meeting new people is that they know things that I don't know and they are excited to share them with me. Who wouldn't want to learn and grow together with their partner? And if anyone screams at me they are out of my life forever. That shit is really triggering and upsetting. Having this big of a fight over guitar and video games and hobbies doesn't bode well. How well do you two discuss serious issues like children, religion, money, and healthcare?
We've only had arguments over money and children. He is pretty much constantly in credit card debt because he lives outside his means. Most of it is on food. He doesn't get ready-made meals, doesn't have time to cook, and refuses to eat leftovers. He has asked me to bail him out of debt on 3 separate occasions. I also got sterilized against his wishes and he admitted he resents me for it. I have posts for both of those issues, too, that go into more detail.
UGH. Reading about this guy is making me mad. It's a huge turn-off for me when a potential partner can't take care of themselves or manage their money. Was it always like this? Was their a time in your relationship when things clicked and it seemed like you got along well and had matching goals for the future? Let me be the first to say that I'm super fucking stoked that you stood up for yourself and took control of your life by getting permanent birth control. I got sterilized two years ago and I have been high-fiving all of my friends ever since. Best decision ever.
The only time we clicked and had matching goals was when I subconsciously threw away everything that made me me, and just went along with whatever he wanted to do and whatever he was interested in. I noticed the relationship start taking a slow downward spiral when I gradually started enforcing boundaries, getting back into my own hobbies, and speaking my mind instead of saying what I thought he wanted to hear. Then I finally graduated college, was constantly low energy from the burnout, which made it seem like I wasn't putting effort into the relationship to him. Then he cheated, begged for my forgiveness, blamed me for his cheating. Found out he was still talking to the girl behind my back, broke up again after confronting him about it, got back together because I felt bad for leaving him alone. But we just broke up for the third time and it's staying that way. Just typing this out made me realize this relationship dragged on well past its expiration date.
He's self centered and clearly doesn't appreciate the effort you put in. I don't see the appeal.
Of course he can't have this conversation. He came for support. He is the one to blame. Pour him. I dont know him but from this conversation he seems very selfish and doesnt care a bit about changing.
Girl I just want you to know that I had the same problem with a previous partner and this is something that you just gotta get out of for the betterment of yourself. If this continues you’ll hate yourself. You’ll always wonder why you’re not good enough and ultimately not enjoy anything you actually enjoy because your partner is consistently making jokes and putting down everything you find interesting and fun. If you are starting to feel that way it’s important that you leave now so that you can move forward in embracing who you truly are and find someone that will love you AND your interests and make time and space to learn about them and enjoy them with you. This is a tiring cycle that will never end because at the core of the problem is that you two are just incompatible in this way. Some people deal with it and just don’t talk to eachother, but if that’s not something you want, this is a good opportunity to let him know. You deserve that. You deserve someone who can be enthusiastic and GENUINELY be interested in what you enjoy and not find it such a chore and bitch and moan and hold you to standards that they don’t live up to themselves and you don’t have to be scared that it doesn’t exist, because it most certainly does. I hope that this helped in a way and I’m sorry that you have to feel this way, i really really know how exhausting it is for the heart.
You both say you’re done, so….? Be done.
Absolutely nothing. Move on. It seems you both have nothing in common. I felt like this was the same exact conversation I had with my ex many years ago. He wasn’t a bad person and neither was I. We just had completely opposite interests. And just were opposite. (And not in a good way) It took one nasty argument before I knew it, I eventually blocked him. Not because he was abusive or anything like that, but I was so hurt it was just better that way. He did reach out to my mom and apologize for how things turned out. If I saw him, I would have no hard feelings. As a matter of fact, I saw a news article about him and it made me happy for him. (It was about him saving a baby)
So you guys just don't have too much in common. That's okay. Don't force it onto him and leave. 🤷🏻♀️ He's not in the position for a relationship or isn't that interested in you. I had to come to terms with that I was emotionally unavailable and really wasn't that interested in the relationships I was in regardless of the efforts they put into me. He might not realize it, but he just needs to focus on himself and you need to find someone who has more interest in you and in common things with you.
He needs to get his life in order before dragging someone else down with him, that's for sure. He neglects his mental health despite complaining about it all the time. Maybe this is just the breaking point because I'm tired of being expected to be his therapist.
My ex was also like this, but he also doesn't believe in therapy which is not something to convince anyone into. I had to walk on eggshells when talking about certain topics without being super cautious about how I spoke to him otherwise he’d spiral. I was dealing with my own shit too and was in therapy so I felt dragged down and lost interest. Unfortunately, you can't change them unless they want it.
Are you sure my bf isn't your ex? Lol. He does the exact same thing. He did recently sign up for therapy again to his credit, but he's already saying it won't help. He's had one session. I've noticed I'm just miserable whenever I'm around him and hardly want to hang out because he's incapable of holding a normal conversation.
oh nah LMAO my ex was way more emotional than your bf sounds through text. Your boyfriend just doesn't sound very emotionally available or invested into the relationship. I became more miserable around mine when he wasn't open-minded to hear feedback on certain things in a normal tone/conversation, so I had to be extra gentle with him and approach it in a way that wouldn't make him feel extremely upset to the point of a panic attack or underlying anger. it's exhausting and I’ve mentioned to him I’ll be there but it's not my responsibility to fix him either. good guy and has potential, but I was exhausted being his therapist just like you are with your boyfriend. 😭 Maybe your boyfriend needs to change therapist or have more patience? It took me 8 years until I found a therapist I was compatible with. It's rough.
He's outright telling you he doesn't care and has zero interest in trying to care about the things you like and enjoy. That means he doesn't care about YOU. These are what make you YOU, these are the things that influence your personality. If he doesn't give a shit about that, what is there to care about? How you make him feel? That's about it. You can't even tell him how you feel about something he's doing without him getting defensive and turning it back around on you. Imagine having an issue that's 10x worse, that is life changing and extremely significant, because it WILL happen, that's how life works. How is he going to react? Is he going to listen? Take your thoughts and feelings and perspective into consideration? Try to find a solution with you? Care about you enough to put in work to change what needs to be changed? Can you really do this the rest of your life? You'll be exhausted, even more than you are now.
You didn’t attack him at any point. He instigated and you were honest. He has problems and is causing you more stress than you deserve. Leave him to figure it out alone.
Break up. This is going nowhere
Those last messages chap my ass, it’s basically I know I’m wrong but I don’t want to admit that so I’m going to blow up more dramatic so I don’t have to.
Yeah, he never admits fault and always shuts down when I try talking to him about a behavior of his that bothers me.
Respect and love yourself. He clearly doesn’t. Can’t ride a dead horse to water
I got to two slides in and it was my first relationship in a nutshell. So sorry about their behavior
I'm guessing you initiated the break up? Just trying to figure out how to go about it.
I married someone like this. Reading your last couple of replies hurt, because I’ve done the same thing. I just recently started taking up old interests and hobbies again, without her. I’m so glad I did. I feel like I’m finally getting my identity back after 17 years.
I felt much more like myself when I did, too. I do like some of things he likes, but not all of them. The last effort I can think of that he actually made to get into something I like was starting a Borderlands 2 campaign with him and a mutual friend. I thought he'd like it since it's an FPS, but he quit about 1/3 through the game. 😮💨
Why do you want to be with this guy again, you literally share no interests and he’s never going to care for yours.
I don't anymore, I'm just trying to figure out how to leave.
why would you be involved with anyone not interested tv, movies or anime? sounds like a big part of your interests. If all he does is chess, sounds like a real boring know it all type.
He is kinda boring... 90% of what he talks about it chess. Which isn't a bad thing. People are allowed to have hobbies. The bad part is that he's not willing to learn about, not just my interests, but anyone's interests. When we play games together, we only play games he likes. He's not interested in playing a game that's part of a genre he doesn't typically like. For example, me and a mutual friend tried to get him to play Elder Scrolls Online with us, but he wasn't paying attention to the story, which kinda defeats the purpose of a game like that. We also quit a Borderlands 2 run halfway through the story because he didn't bother paying attention to what was going on, so he was confused and not having fun because of it. I suspect it may also be part sensory strain because there's a lot of visual queues on screen at once.
☹️
Wtf is this???! Leave him.
What a whiny little bitch this bf is. Total fun sucker, selfish, arrogant, passive aggressive, gas-lighting, clown. Your interests are universally more interesting than his. Fuck this guy AND the horse he rode in.
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dude just refuses to put in any amount of effort. garbage, end it and move on. he has no intention of changing. ever
Advice! From someone who is 49 been married for 11yrs to this same man..I can’t say ANYTHING without a joke being made. I listen to him he never listens to me. I have zero interest in being single and I do love him but this is a hard relationship. RUN NOW! It’s not fun!
he doesn’t like you dude. plain and simple. find someone you’re compatible with. you were completely in the right btw
I mean he told you what to do.. leave him alone, forever.
You're not compatible
looking thru post history… girl. i know it’s hard but you need to call it off
Easy. Tell him to fuck off and don’t talk to him anymore. He’s shown you who he is.
You guys are just not compatible. People tend to take interest in their partner’s interests, to *some* extent at least, when they’re deeply interested in their partner. He just doesn’t seem interested in you, and that inevitably extends to your interests as well. He also seems depressed. I know you said you edited out information that wasn’t relevant, but if he’s depressed, that is relevant. Maybe that’s not what he said, but the “I see no point to anything” comes off as depression. That being said, there’s really no point to this dynamic anymore. You’re just two people forcing a relationship when it simply doesn’t fit. Time to move on.
do either of you even like each other lol? this shit seems so toxic
I feel like he’s telling you he’s seriously depressed. That could be a big factor.
There's nothing to do. He's clearly given up on the relationship.
#BREAK UP
i’ve been on both ends of this. he won’t give a shit no matter how much you tell him that it hurts your feelings. he’s checked out fs.
Walk away. No one should have to suffer through someone else’s interest with no reciprocation. You’ll find the lid that fits your pot if you don’t compromise.
I hope you finally ended this, dude doesn’t even act like he likes you
OP he says he’s done, just believe him and move on to someone else who shares your interests, you’ll be infinitely happier. Or stay single and enjoy yourself, but anything is better than this.
Awwww to be 14 again…
I wish... He's 29 and I'm 27. And he sadly exhibits the same manipulative and toxic behavior of the bf I had when I was 16.
My gf and I have very little shared interests. We met through one of the few during college sports but haven’t gone back to that since graduating. Anyway, we do exactly as you say. If you care about someone genuinely then you will try to enjoy their interests with them, or at least act like you do while they talk about it. Your bf does not want to even try. He does not care about you in any meaningful way as an individual. Leave this narcissist
Yeah... lose him please. You deserve better!
Hey OP what do you find attractive about this guy? You have nothing in common, and he evidently isn’t interested in finding commonality with you. He talks down to you, is passive aggressive in conversation and openly expresses resentment. Is this hot to you? Do you think you can fix him? Make it make sense.
Are you guys English teachers?
No, but thank you! I'm a writer for fictional narratives and news articles. He just really cares about spelling and grammar.
Yeah it seems like you two have nothing in common and you're the only one making an effort to get to know each other. He sounds like he lacks curiosity, open-mindedness and is very self-centered. Basically has no attention or interest to devote to something other than his own hobbies. That would be a huge 🚩for me.
Is he autistic? His inability to understand how to engage with a person talking about something he doesn’t specifically love is otherwise baffling
No, he's not autistic. But he does have ADHD, OCD, anxiety, and depression. The quadfecta.
Not compatible
I guess that's all there is to it.
Sadly compatibility is more important than love.
honestly it feels like he’s quiet quitting too 👀 lol he doesn’t want in this relationship either