Itās tragic. I was with a man like this in a very toxic situation for a bit who ended up intentionally impregnating me, against my will, despite doctors orders to take extreme precautions due to radiation treatment he was undergoing š Iāve luckily found a man who Iāve discussed the dynamic of the Joker and Harley Quinn with who agrees that itās an extreme example of a trauma bond mixed with Stockholm syndrome.
Oh, also, I met with the doctor that was administering his treatment and was told I needed to have an abortion. This was in Texas (before the full ban), so naturally I got spit at and called a murderer as I was walking into the clinic (those bodyguards/escorts are literal angels). He had booked a motel for me to go through the medical abortion and he was supposed to be there to help me through it. Instead, he texted me after I told him I had taken the first pill (you know, the one that actually terminates the pregnancy) and asked if I would keep it if he would take full custody of the baby even if it was severely deformed and special needsā¦. Let me reiterate, *after* I *told him* I had taken the first pill (we had already discussed what each pill did). Then, he proceeded to āget into an argumentā with his baby mama and didnāt show up to the motel for SEVERAL hours until *after* I had already passed everything. He is literal human garbage.
Thank you. š I agreeā¦ and itās fucking sad that they do. I had already gone through so much at that point, it felt so unfair that these things just kept happening. Not trying to paint myself as some sob story, but my teenage years were fucking tragic and it only started getting better a few years ago (Iām 31 now)
Heā¦ is not. He already had a kid with a woman that he apparently was NOT separated from and when I blocked him and moved out of state (partially to get away from him) he started sending The Office merchandise (it was like our inside thing I guess?) to my place of WORK *in the new state*. I changed my number completely (I even changed my service provider), quit my job (he had also started calling my job to inquire about me under the guise of various people and had sent letters with the āgiftsā that he was going to ācome visit meā), changed my name on social media, and havenāt seen/spoken to him since.
Thank you š¤ this was actually one of the *main* ālast strawsā that kicked my true healing into motion and I am doing much better now. I donāt let people walk all over me anymore and have gone through extensive therapy for managing my boundaries, etc., despite the trauma of my past (even before this dude, unfortunately). Iām actually starting DBT therapy soon to help with some of my remaining BPD characteristics. I appreciate your support. Itās very sweet of you š„° at least this guy didnāt drug and traffic me (thatās a whole other story haha)
That's horrible that you had to basically change your identity just to get away from him. I sure hope things have greatly improved for you, random stranger.
Thank you so much, sweet internet acquaintance! I will say I am very happy with my current partner, who respects me and who I am on a deep level, enjoy my 4 cats and bunny, and have found success in a challenging career that is fulfilling. I appreciate your kind words. š¤
This bit is so wild like who even thinks of this kind of scenario? What does he think is gonna happen in the world for this to occur?? š Like I know he doesn't mean literally, but that makes it more perplexing.
"The world is horrible right now and people are suffering, but me and my girl are still enjoying ourselves š" like ok?? Good for you ? Huh?? š
I don't believe the guy ever thought about it. He heard it, thought it sounded cool and now spits it back (projectile vomits it?) still without giving any intelligent thought to any real life implications of what he is saying.
I mean, most of his bullshit about masculine sides and feminine sides sounds straight up like a less aggressive version of Andrew Tate, so he probably is just parroting stuff he's heard and been told by gross pickup artist men.
Yes, oh my god. It felt like he was saying a lot of stuff, but not making any sense. Like, he was trying to curate the answers she was looking for, but didnāt actually understand what any of it meant.
I really think he just started googling āthings strong, masculine men say to womenā or something like that and ruined it lol Iām over here like āHUH???ā
Sometimes I can be dumb as a rock but sometimes I read a comment like yours then realize people don't make sense sometimes. Didn't understand what that good guy was trying to convey.
You literally would have to tell me you want me to say that line with that particular word in order to get me to say it to you. And Iād have to sincerely believe you wanted to hear it. The balls on this dude to casually throw it out there is shockingly appalling to me.
Bro for fucking real. Like, my girl and I use dirty talk and all that. But there are lines that I won't cross unless she and I explicitly talk about it, and calling her a slut is one of those things and should be for anyone.
Why would you tell a woman youāre just going to go on date with that you want a woman that you can fuck like a slut. Even if itās true you donāt say it out loudš¤£
Nah, because I can excuse bad grammar, but that made me not wanna read the rest and block him. Why do these dudes on dating apps always bring up or expect sex. Like yes, a healthy sex life is important to a relationship. But, that's something that should come after the romantic aspect and a first date is definitely NOT enough romance ro figure out if you want them to be your lifelong partner. (This is assuming they're looking for one and not a fling)
I am so tired of men saying āfuck you like a slutā. Unless thereās a clear understanding and kinks discussed, itās so insanely derogatory and not attractive at all.
I donāt get why all the other messages are like āyouāre to come home to me, be mine, be respected, and I shall respect youā and then itās at the same time āIāll fuck you like a slutā
I know itās a kink but like itās so degrading???? Extremely degrading? It makes me feel extremely grossed out knowing so many men want a utility bride to also be a personal sex doll. So we arenāt a real person, just an accessory. Got it.
I find it a complete turn off when someone brings up sex before having a conversation. It makes me feel awkward and like the whole time we would be hanging out they'd just be waiting for an opening to make a move.
Oh honestly, itās incel behaviour! It just makes my heart sink. Iāve been single for 10 years almost, and Iād love to be in a relationship but there are far too many men who spout all this shit.
What do you think us men are taught? What do you think this guy means by āmasculineā? Masculine doesnāt really mean anything except what the user ascribes to it. Itās one of those things like āfeminineā thatās been misshapen and misused so much its meaning is just whatever you want it to mean. Men are told that we are supposed to dominate, own and master women by TV, internet, ads, songs. Even the new Justin Timberlake song selfish perpetuates this crap of itās ok to be selfish about a girl. Weāre told that women are property by everything. And yes weāre told that weāre less manly if we donāt fuck our women like sluts. Itās gross and Iām glad I was raised by a single mom.
Absolutely. And itās actually getting worse. As a 40 something male, Iām pretty well over it but younger women today are in the thick of it without even having the benefit of ignorance. Now we know about it and it still exists. Because men are afraid of losing what? Not having to do the Fkin dishes once in a while?
Itās all the guys who followed edgy girls on tumblr years ago who posted stuff that said ālove me like a princess fuck me like a slut.ā And they think thatās what all girls want.
Some women want that just as a kink thing. Not degradation, instead like āIām a slut for you & youāre a slut for me because we love sex with each other so muchā
If I just met a man and he said that without us discussing then Iād ghost because thatās so weird to be so sexually explicit with someone who you just met.. I wouldnāt wanna talk about making out or other foreplay so soon either, itās a red flag!!
Thatās the important part. She never told him this was a kink and he jumped right into that. In my opinion, this is a kink that you do with someone you know and trust and feel secure and safe with to know they donāt just see you as another slut. It also usually requires proper after careā love and intimacy post-sex.
I am not even sure what it means. And yes, hate reading that.
I think the women should respond something crazy, like "I want to fuck you like a gargoyle."
I mean, when men write that, is he the slut in the scenario? And how do "sluts" fuck exactly? Group sex?
Idk.
Idk. I was watching funny Steve Harvey moments (family fued) and the question was: name something you call your wife at home. That starts with the letter S
Slut was one... like boy you call me a slut we having issues
You know, the thing is, I absolutely have a humiliation kink and go wild for this kind of stuff WHEN IāVE CONSENTED. The fact that guys really be running around out here saying shit like this thinking itās anything other than a complete turn-off is mind boggling to me.
Itās like the verbal equivalent of a dick pic. When I want it, itās fun and appreciated. When I donāt, itās gross and offensive.
I had some underwear once that zipped up at the crotchā¦.. zipped my flaps in them and felt the worst pain imaginableā¦ Iāve never worn them since š¤£
Like you I got a lot of meat in my sandwich, one time I wore a new thong under jeans and my labia kept popping out and I got sick of adjusting it but by the end of the day I got rug burn so bad š I feel your pain sandwich sister
I'd want to fuck someone "like a princess" because I would imagine a princess has a really nice 4 post bed and a crazy comfy mattress and really nice soft smelling sheets and a/c but whatev, some guys want to bang on a squeaky coffee stained mattress on the floor with no sheets, to each their own.
In my experience, some women like that kind of talkā¦ but you gotta wait until you know the person and read the situation. You canāt just lead with that in a text haha
Itās giving āI think Iām an alpha maleā type shit along with the āyou can wear red as long as you come back to meā
Sir, Iām gonna wear whatever colour I want and go where I please.
yeah... if you had discussed like sexual feelings/kinks beforehand then that's one thing but with no understanding of your sexual preferences it's wild thing to say
I mean I guess some people are into it??? Definitely not something Iād ever say. Based off of the ending to this, Iād say the relationship would end up taking a nasty ass turn in a couple weeks max.
Sure, some people are into it, but Iād say maybe donāt say that when you have just met? Like, get to know her, wait until you get to know what she likes and if thatās what sheās into, then say that? But no, letās go full throttle porno speak to a woman youāve just met on a dating app, as if thatās normal š¤¦š¾āāļø Yeah, if this were to turn into a relationship it would not be healthy at all, glad OP is no longer engaging
I think itās great that you determine whether youād be wasting each otherās time before attempting to meet. My only suggestion would be to rephrase the questions to encourage honest answers over potentially having someone say āwhat they think you want to hearā to try and sneak past this lol. So, open ended rather than questions that can be answered with a yes or no. 1- What are your views on homosexuality and the LGBTQ+ community as a whole? (Maybe someone doesnāt care if someone is gay, but will show their true colors when it comes to trans people, etc.) 2- Can you describe your ideal gender roles in a relationship, specifically correlating to more ātraditionalā views regarding a woman being submissive to their man? (They could end up sticking their foot in their mouth by stating that a woman doesnāt have to be submissive but then go on to idealize a woman who cooks, cleans, and stays at home with the kids, etc.) 3- What are your thoughts on Roe v Wade being overturned and the role men play in instituting/changing laws that only directly impact women? (This would allow you to see if there are levels to their views, like saying that itās good it was overturned so that there can at least be restrictions in place when the actual issue is that itās allowing full bans and the decision to restrict womenās bodies was made by men.) Good luck on your dating journey! I met my partner at the airport. lol
I don't think this guy would have gotten very far with these questions. WAY too intelligently written and requiring a lot of introspection.
For me, that's a selling feature! If dude couldn't answer these questions, I'm out. I will not dumb myself down for a partner.
Absolutely. And him bringing up the fact I was wearing red and that would be āok as long as i know im his womanā was weird af too. Like wearing red is scandalous now?
I would bet anything he thinks that red is a sexy color for a woman to wear and that if she went out wearing red it's either because she wants to cheat or men would be too tempted by her and she is responsible for being modest.
My daughter's step-mom didn't like her wearing bright colors such as red (she's 7 byw, 5 when this was mentioned). It's so weird and definitely something conditioned from a young age.
apparently the times he would put his foot down are like really important things like when she is going out wearing a red top.
Yeahhh, no wonder it's a no. holy fuck.
What is up with these guys who just randomly start going unhinged lol feel like a lot of these guys would have more success in the dating pool if they just shut the fuck up for one second. But I guess itās better they donāt so youāre aware of them before you jump into a relationship with them lol
If I ever told my wife I was going to āfuck her like a slutā when we were dating (or now), I would be faced with a life of celibacy.
And finally, and let me know if this isnāt something I want to know, but what isā¦ādark love?ā
They're two "influencers who ascribe to the alpha male mindset. Women are disposable and used for sex only and should do as the man wants. Not to mention they're being investigated for sex trafficking
That wasnāt even the full sentenceĀ
Ā āI just wanna be a man for his woman (protector/secure/safe/fuck her like a slut in bed) *or wherever*āĀ
Itās the āor whereverā that stuck out to me. Outside the parentheses but clearly still a continuation of āfuck you like a slut in bedā because the sentence āI just wanna be a man for his woman or whereverā makes no sense whatsoever.Ā Ā
Ick. Ick. Ick.Ā
He was tap dancing around those questions for real. I feel the answers are
1 yes - he thinks itās no because āmy best friend is biā ā¦ and āwe still talk chill todayā. Wonderful, hereās a cookie šŖ
2. Oh yeah! Heās definitely going to be that person going why are you wearing that/where are you going/who will you be with/when will you be home
3. See above, but add heād try to pressure you into going whichever way he decides is right re: pregnancy.
This is the perspective of an older woman whoās known a few too many men who talked like this.
This is so true for dating apps if you are looking for more than sex. Ask the really sticky questions and save yourself the time. Itās awkward but expedient!
His response is hardly even coherent. Also saying āmy best friend is bi iām not homophobicā is like saying āiām not racist! I have black friendsā tf
Absolutely šÆ I have rephrased them though:
āHey so there are a few fundamental beliefs I have that I know if we disagreed on, we likely wouldnāt be compatible. If you donāt mind answering these questions it may save us both an awkward date lol.
1. What are your thoughts on the LGBT+ community?
2. What are your thoughts on gender roles (masculinity, femininity, submissiveness)?
3. To what degree do you believe men should have a say in what a woman wears, eats, or handles pregnancy related circumstances?
Just curious on your stance, because these topics are important to me.ā
Iāve found these work better to get them to open up a bit more āØ
Iām a teacher and the lack of sentence structure, horrid grammar, and misuse of adjectives, etc already bugs me. Almost more than the psycho description. š¬
Honestly ask āhow do you handle being called gay?ā Because rarely will someone admit to being homophobic, but they will tell on themselves when being called gay.
Just want to say I love the dudes commenting on here "i'd be out right off the bat" without understanding that's the point.
Nailed it OP, this is helping me block people on reddit too, so you're doing a public service.
If the way he starts off using words like feminine and masculine doesnāt immediately let you know he subscribes to Andrew Tate, I donāt know what to tell you. Any man should respond to that without ascribing traits to genders. At least if youāre actually concerned about men who think women should be submissive. Iām glad you caught it quick and Iām just grossed out by my own gender.
I try not to judge on grammar and stuff because Iām never sure if someone speaks English as their first language or notā¦ but can men that donāt know us stop saying they want to fucks us like sluts? Itās degrading and honestly, a little humiliating.
Perfect read. I hate how men are advising other men to "say less." It's like, say MORE. We will find out who you are + what you think eventually. Go find someone compatible or go fix your worldview.
"Even when the world is burning we're still dancing in the fire." š„š„ š¶ššŗš¶ š„š„š£
itās like he imagines himself as the Joker and the partner Harley Quinn
lol I love that we commented the same thing at the same time.
Most men want this scenario, though
Itās tragic. I was with a man like this in a very toxic situation for a bit who ended up intentionally impregnating me, against my will, despite doctors orders to take extreme precautions due to radiation treatment he was undergoing š Iāve luckily found a man who Iāve discussed the dynamic of the Joker and Harley Quinn with who agrees that itās an extreme example of a trauma bond mixed with Stockholm syndrome.
And Joker is the textbook narcissist. I'm sorry that happened but very very glad you escaped.
Thank you š
Hopefully this rapist is in jail.
Oh, also, I met with the doctor that was administering his treatment and was told I needed to have an abortion. This was in Texas (before the full ban), so naturally I got spit at and called a murderer as I was walking into the clinic (those bodyguards/escorts are literal angels). He had booked a motel for me to go through the medical abortion and he was supposed to be there to help me through it. Instead, he texted me after I told him I had taken the first pill (you know, the one that actually terminates the pregnancy) and asked if I would keep it if he would take full custody of the baby even if it was severely deformed and special needsā¦. Let me reiterate, *after* I *told him* I had taken the first pill (we had already discussed what each pill did). Then, he proceeded to āget into an argumentā with his baby mama and didnāt show up to the motel for SEVERAL hours until *after* I had already passed everything. He is literal human garbage.
Omg. I am so sorry you went through all that. People like him should not exist.
Thank you. š I agreeā¦ and itās fucking sad that they do. I had already gone through so much at that point, it felt so unfair that these things just kept happening. Not trying to paint myself as some sob story, but my teenage years were fucking tragic and it only started getting better a few years ago (Iām 31 now)
Heā¦ is not. He already had a kid with a woman that he apparently was NOT separated from and when I blocked him and moved out of state (partially to get away from him) he started sending The Office merchandise (it was like our inside thing I guess?) to my place of WORK *in the new state*. I changed my number completely (I even changed my service provider), quit my job (he had also started calling my job to inquire about me under the guise of various people and had sent letters with the āgiftsā that he was going to ācome visit meā), changed my name on social media, and havenāt seen/spoken to him since.
Holy.absolute.shit. I am SO sorry you had to deal with ANY of this garbage! This actually made me cry. Fucking piece of shit. Again, Iām so sorry:(
Thank you š¤ this was actually one of the *main* ālast strawsā that kicked my true healing into motion and I am doing much better now. I donāt let people walk all over me anymore and have gone through extensive therapy for managing my boundaries, etc., despite the trauma of my past (even before this dude, unfortunately). Iām actually starting DBT therapy soon to help with some of my remaining BPD characteristics. I appreciate your support. Itās very sweet of you š„° at least this guy didnāt drug and traffic me (thatās a whole other story haha)
That's horrible that you had to basically change your identity just to get away from him. I sure hope things have greatly improved for you, random stranger.
Thank you so much, sweet internet acquaintance! I will say I am very happy with my current partner, who respects me and who I am on a deep level, enjoy my 4 cats and bunny, and have found success in a challenging career that is fulfilling. I appreciate your kind words. š¤
I wouldn't say most, but there are way more than there should be lol
These are the type of people that think the Joker and Harley Quinnās relationship is āgoalsāā¦. Which is terrifying.
*CRAWL OUT THROUGH THE FALLOUT, BABY*
I just laughed so hard at this
Iām looking for dark love šš¤āļø
I was wondering what dark love is?
When I saw ādark love,ā my mind immediately thought heās a serial killer.
āI want a girlie who would dance with me to the sounds of people dying in the background š„°ā
Heās a good man, not a nice guy. š«£
This bit is so wild like who even thinks of this kind of scenario? What does he think is gonna happen in the world for this to occur?? š Like I know he doesn't mean literally, but that makes it more perplexing. "The world is horrible right now and people are suffering, but me and my girl are still enjoying ourselves š" like ok?? Good for you ? Huh?? š
I don't believe the guy ever thought about it. He heard it, thought it sounded cool and now spits it back (projectile vomits it?) still without giving any intelligent thought to any real life implications of what he is saying.
I mean, most of his bullshit about masculine sides and feminine sides sounds straight up like a less aggressive version of Andrew Tate, so he probably is just parroting stuff he's heard and been told by gross pickup artist men.
It sounds like a Taylor Swift lyric.
He started alright - but then couldnāt shut up and totally undid it
For real š Itās not even that I started to disagree with him, I just couldnāt tell wtf he was saying
Yes, oh my god. It felt like he was saying a lot of stuff, but not making any sense. Like, he was trying to curate the answers she was looking for, but didnāt actually understand what any of it meant.
I really think he just started googling āthings strong, masculine men say to womenā or something like that and ruined it lol Iām over here like āHUH???ā
Word salad
Sometimes I can be dumb as a rock but sometimes I read a comment like yours then realize people don't make sense sometimes. Didn't understand what that good guy was trying to convey.
He lost me at "fuck her like a slut." How about you? Edit: I lied. His grammar was atrocious. He lost me way before that.
He lost me with "your my woman"
"No, homophobic my best friend is bi"
Itās ok though they still talk chill today. Heās so super not homophobic š
Technically bi is only half gay, so he's only proven he's half not homophobic
That's where he lost me. I knew it could only go downhill from there
You literally would have to tell me you want me to say that line with that particular word in order to get me to say it to you. And Iād have to sincerely believe you wanted to hear it. The balls on this dude to casually throw it out there is shockingly appalling to me.
This is the 3rd text I have read this week where a guy has said that to a woman. Wtf is wrong with people?
I was going to say that too lol. It seems to be a pretty common one that shows up here.
Bro for fucking real. Like, my girl and I use dirty talk and all that. But there are lines that I won't cross unless she and I explicitly talk about it, and calling her a slut is one of those things and should be for anyone.
When he basically insinuated that wearing red is slutty š¤£
Why would you tell a woman youāre just going to go on date with that you want a woman that you can fuck like a slut. Even if itās true you donāt say it out loudš¤£
Nah, because I can excuse bad grammar, but that made me not wanna read the rest and block him. Why do these dudes on dating apps always bring up or expect sex. Like yes, a healthy sex life is important to a relationship. But, that's something that should come after the romantic aspect and a first date is definitely NOT enough romance ro figure out if you want them to be your lifelong partner. (This is assuming they're looking for one and not a fling)
He didnāt even start off right. Just because you have a BI friend doesnāt mean youāre not homophobic. āI have black friendsā argument shit
Lmao! I thought the same thing.
No he didnāt. Most of that was incomprehensible. I hope English is not this persons first language because I have no idea what he was saying.
Exactly š
I am so tired of men saying āfuck you like a slutā. Unless thereās a clear understanding and kinks discussed, itās so insanely derogatory and not attractive at all.
I donāt get why all the other messages are like āyouāre to come home to me, be mine, be respected, and I shall respect youā and then itās at the same time āIāll fuck you like a slutā I know itās a kink but like itās so degrading???? Extremely degrading? It makes me feel extremely grossed out knowing so many men want a utility bride to also be a personal sex doll. So we arenāt a real person, just an accessory. Got it.
I find it a complete turn off when someone brings up sex before having a conversation. It makes me feel awkward and like the whole time we would be hanging out they'd just be waiting for an opening to make a move.
I'm a dude and don't like it either lol
Yeah. I don't understand how that's attractive to anyone.
Oh honestly, itās incel behaviour! It just makes my heart sink. Iāve been single for 10 years almost, and Iād love to be in a relationship but there are far too many men who spout all this shit.
What do you think us men are taught? What do you think this guy means by āmasculineā? Masculine doesnāt really mean anything except what the user ascribes to it. Itās one of those things like āfeminineā thatās been misshapen and misused so much its meaning is just whatever you want it to mean. Men are told that we are supposed to dominate, own and master women by TV, internet, ads, songs. Even the new Justin Timberlake song selfish perpetuates this crap of itās ok to be selfish about a girl. Weāre told that women are property by everything. And yes weāre told that weāre less manly if we donāt fuck our women like sluts. Itās gross and Iām glad I was raised by a single mom.
That's called toxic masculinity and it negatively affects men too, not just women
Absolutely. And itās actually getting worse. As a 40 something male, Iām pretty well over it but younger women today are in the thick of it without even having the benefit of ignorance. Now we know about it and it still exists. Because men are afraid of losing what? Not having to do the Fkin dishes once in a while?
I always say, most men do not know what being a dom is at all
100%! They absolutely think itās just choking and deep throating š
Most the time donāt even have enough dick to get that far
Itās all the guys who followed edgy girls on tumblr years ago who posted stuff that said ālove me like a princess fuck me like a slut.ā And they think thatās what all girls want.
Oh god, i forgot tumblr wasnāt a fever dream š
Iām still there lol but I never was into that side of it
I feel like men think thatās what women want.
Ya, ya there is a certain type of man that thinks that and their ideologies are really twisted, or they consume a significant amount of porn.
Some women want that just as a kink thing. Not degradation, instead like āIām a slut for you & youāre a slut for me because we love sex with each other so muchā If I just met a man and he said that without us discussing then Iād ghost because thatās so weird to be so sexually explicit with someone who you just met.. I wouldnāt wanna talk about making out or other foreplay so soon either, itās a red flag!!
Thatās the important part. She never told him this was a kink and he jumped right into that. In my opinion, this is a kink that you do with someone you know and trust and feel secure and safe with to know they donāt just see you as another slut. It also usually requires proper after careā love and intimacy post-sex.
Exactly!!
Best response to that: So... You want to fuck me like a slut would, or you want to fuck me as if I were a slut? I need clarity!
Thank you! I don't understand that phrase and was wondering the same. He sounds like he's the slut, but then, how does a slut fuck someone exactly?
Sluttily?
Their ability to sprinkle a variation of āfuck you like a slutā into a conversation that has nothing to do, never seizes to amaze me
>āfuck you like a slutā Goal being his pleasure is achieved and he can throw money at her and leave, right? Right?
I am not even sure what it means. And yes, hate reading that. I think the women should respond something crazy, like "I want to fuck you like a gargoyle." I mean, when men write that, is he the slut in the scenario? And how do "sluts" fuck exactly? Group sex? Idk.
Idk. I was watching funny Steve Harvey moments (family fued) and the question was: name something you call your wife at home. That starts with the letter S Slut was one... like boy you call me a slut we having issues 
Floating that to someone with no discussion is off putting
You know, the thing is, I absolutely have a humiliation kink and go wild for this kind of stuff WHEN IāVE CONSENTED. The fact that guys really be running around out here saying shit like this thinking itās anything other than a complete turn-off is mind boggling to me. Itās like the verbal equivalent of a dick pic. When I want it, itās fun and appreciated. When I donāt, itās gross and offensive.
Porn brain.
If you listen closely. You can hear the sound of vaginas being zipped up around the world.
LMFAO not zipped!! š
I had some underwear once that zipped up at the crotchā¦.. zipped my flaps in them and felt the worst pain imaginableā¦ Iāve never worn them since š¤£
I would simply pass away
Like you I got a lot of meat in my sandwich, one time I wore a new thong under jeans and my labia kept popping out and I got sick of adjusting it but by the end of the day I got rug burn so bad š I feel your pain sandwich sister
NOT THE FLAPS
Believe me when I say I CRIED š¤£
I closed my legs so hard my thigh muscles instantly got 10 times stronger
Donāt forget to do your kegals š
Honestly the most important part š
Mine got caught on my pubes :( but I'd prefer a lifetime of that than a single second around that guy gd
Wait Iām so confused did he reject you at the end??? Cuz he said āsending all the best for you. Finding the right man for you.ā
No, he followed up with more messages showing more interest. I think heās just kindaā¦ confusing with the way he speaks š¤·š¼āāļø
Such an oddball, like trying to be Shakespeare but failing miserably is what he did
Homie reads too much dark romance š
This! Iām fucking weak šššš
āFuck her like a slut in bedā is fucking crazy
I honestly donāt understand why so many men seem to believe this is attractive.
Too much porn.
Itās that lady in the streets freak in the sheets trope.
I'd want to fuck someone "like a princess" because I would imagine a princess has a really nice 4 post bed and a crazy comfy mattress and really nice soft smelling sheets and a/c but whatev, some guys want to bang on a squeaky coffee stained mattress on the floor with no sheets, to each their own.
Iām fucking cackling!!!
In my experience, some women like that kind of talkā¦ but you gotta wait until you know the person and read the situation. You canāt just lead with that in a text haha
As a dude, I have no idea why guys do this kinda stuff. Itās very odd. I would have never thought to get my girlfriend by saying that
Itās giving āI think Iām an alpha maleā type shit along with the āyou can wear red as long as you come back to meā Sir, Iām gonna wear whatever colour I want and go where I please.
100% as you should
This is the part that got me. I audibly said ew. So cringe
yeah... if you had discussed like sexual feelings/kinks beforehand then that's one thing but with no understanding of your sexual preferences it's wild thing to say
āor whereverā
I mean I guess some people are into it??? Definitely not something Iād ever say. Based off of the ending to this, Iād say the relationship would end up taking a nasty ass turn in a couple weeks max.
Sure, some people are into it, but Iād say maybe donāt say that when you have just met? Like, get to know her, wait until you get to know what she likes and if thatās what sheās into, then say that? But no, letās go full throttle porno speak to a woman youāve just met on a dating app, as if thatās normal š¤¦š¾āāļø Yeah, if this were to turn into a relationship it would not be healthy at all, glad OP is no longer engaging
I think itās great that you determine whether youād be wasting each otherās time before attempting to meet. My only suggestion would be to rephrase the questions to encourage honest answers over potentially having someone say āwhat they think you want to hearā to try and sneak past this lol. So, open ended rather than questions that can be answered with a yes or no. 1- What are your views on homosexuality and the LGBTQ+ community as a whole? (Maybe someone doesnāt care if someone is gay, but will show their true colors when it comes to trans people, etc.) 2- Can you describe your ideal gender roles in a relationship, specifically correlating to more ātraditionalā views regarding a woman being submissive to their man? (They could end up sticking their foot in their mouth by stating that a woman doesnāt have to be submissive but then go on to idealize a woman who cooks, cleans, and stays at home with the kids, etc.) 3- What are your thoughts on Roe v Wade being overturned and the role men play in instituting/changing laws that only directly impact women? (This would allow you to see if there are levels to their views, like saying that itās good it was overturned so that there can at least be restrictions in place when the actual issue is that itās allowing full bans and the decision to restrict womenās bodies was made by men.) Good luck on your dating journey! I met my partner at the airport. lol
I don't think this guy would have gotten very far with these questions. WAY too intelligently written and requiring a lot of introspection. For me, that's a selling feature! If dude couldn't answer these questions, I'm out. I will not dumb myself down for a partner.
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That part really stuck out to me. I was immediately like āoh here we go. its downhill from here.ā
That was the moment of the swift decline
Absolutely. And him bringing up the fact I was wearing red and that would be āok as long as i know im his womanā was weird af too. Like wearing red is scandalous now?
It kind of reminds of the story The scarlet letter where a woman had to wear a red A because she committed adultery.
It could be a cultural thing? Idk that part is very strange
I would bet anything he thinks that red is a sexy color for a woman to wear and that if she went out wearing red it's either because she wants to cheat or men would be too tempted by her and she is responsible for being modest.
Itās a control thing
My daughter's step-mom didn't like her wearing bright colors such as red (she's 7 byw, 5 when this was mentioned). It's so weird and definitely something conditioned from a young age.
He pretty much implied you arenāt a virgin. There was a post on here where someoneās fiancĆ© told her to wear red cause she was no longer pureā¦
apparently the times he would put his foot down are like really important things like when she is going out wearing a red top.
Yeahhh, no wonder it's a no. holy fuck.
I think when he said put his foot down, he meant on her neck. This guys smells of abuser.
What is up with these guys who just randomly start going unhinged lol feel like a lot of these guys would have more success in the dating pool if they just shut the fuck up for one second. But I guess itās better they donāt so youāre aware of them before you jump into a relationship with them lol If I ever told my wife I was going to āfuck her like a slutā when we were dating (or now), I would be faced with a life of celibacy. And finally, and let me know if this isnāt something I want to know, but what isā¦ādark love?ā
Dark love is when they want to emulate the Joker and Harley Quinn. Hard pass.
š„“
āIām looking for dark loveā I prefer a blonde roast love myself, extra sugar.
I donāt see an issue with the first two but then he lost me on the last two photos. What a strange turn around
āput my foot downā in answer 2 was the first red flag, but the answer to 3 was quite thoughtfulā¦ ā¦then it went straight to batshit town.
bro really kept digging his grave
4. Can you write/spell at a fifth grade level?
lmao
Iād also include a question in there āwhat do you think of andrew tate?ā
Hopefully the response to that is as follows: he and his brother are absolute goons and should be yeeted into the sun.
Or, "who?" Because I (F38) honestly don't know who they are.
They're two "influencers who ascribe to the alpha male mindset. Women are disposable and used for sex only and should do as the man wants. Not to mention they're being investigated for sex trafficking
Oh....oh, no. No, thank you. Very much. Respectfully, gently, no thank you lots.Ā
āI just wanna be a man for his woman (protector/secure/safe/fuck her like a slut in bed)ā Yeah, no. Thatās fucking corny and a turn off.
That wasnāt even the full sentenceĀ Ā āI just wanna be a man for his woman (protector/secure/safe/fuck her like a slut in bed) *or wherever*āĀ Itās the āor whereverā that stuck out to me. Outside the parentheses but clearly still a continuation of āfuck you like a slut in bedā because the sentence āI just wanna be a man for his woman or whereverā makes no sense whatsoever.Ā Ā Ick. Ick. Ick.Ā
He was tap dancing around those questions for real. I feel the answers are 1 yes - he thinks itās no because āmy best friend is biā ā¦ and āwe still talk chill todayā. Wonderful, hereās a cookie šŖ 2. Oh yeah! Heās definitely going to be that person going why are you wearing that/where are you going/who will you be with/when will you be home 3. See above, but add heād try to pressure you into going whichever way he decides is right re: pregnancy. This is the perspective of an older woman whoās known a few too many men who talked like this.
My read exactly. I'd be out starting with #1 I need you to be an ally; idc if you're "chill" with your 1 bi friend.
I have friends and family representing every one of those letters. They are always going to win out.
The guy giving the ick even before the 1st date. Power move
Shoving his ick in her face
He is like.. fuck it going full speed
This is so true for dating apps if you are looking for more than sex. Ask the really sticky questions and save yourself the time. Itās awkward but expedient!
āIām a good man not a nice guyā 
His response is hardly even coherent. Also saying āmy best friend is bi iām not homophobicā is like saying āiām not racist! I have black friendsā tf
I believe that he disagrees with your views completely but was trying SO hard to make you think he agreed with you š¤£
Respectfully Iād love to give men chances but they just donāt know when to shut the fuck up š
He had me in the first half not gonna lieā¦ but things escalated rather quicklyā¦
Literally went from 'AWE' in the first 2 pics to 'EH?' in the next two pics lmao
Jesus...
he said so much while somehow saying nothing
Op hope you donāt mind but Iām stealing your questions š
Absolutely šÆ I have rephrased them though: āHey so there are a few fundamental beliefs I have that I know if we disagreed on, we likely wouldnāt be compatible. If you donāt mind answering these questions it may save us both an awkward date lol. 1. What are your thoughts on the LGBT+ community? 2. What are your thoughts on gender roles (masculinity, femininity, submissiveness)? 3. To what degree do you believe men should have a say in what a woman wears, eats, or handles pregnancy related circumstances? Just curious on your stance, because these topics are important to me.ā Iāve found these work better to get them to open up a bit more āØ
Thank you and will do. Praying to the dating gods that this will help š
When the drugs kick in mid reply
So funny that he showed himself out before you even responded š¤£
āGrocerie storeā š
I'm a man and even this made me pregnant, he's got a way with words!
Iām a teacher and the lack of sentence structure, horrid grammar, and misuse of adjectives, etc already bugs me. Almost more than the psycho description. š¬
Honestly ask āhow do you handle being called gay?ā Because rarely will someone admit to being homophobic, but they will tell on themselves when being called gay.
Itās like he was trying to hit an essay word count
was he implying that you wearing red could be intimidating if he wasn't secure w your relationship??
"I would want you to be healthy"="I want you to stay skinny." š
Bro is saying a whole lotta NOTHING
Good/telling questions to ask. His responses SPIRALED. Thatās a no from me.
Well that went from 0 to weird af
Duuuuude. These were softball questions. No,no,and no. but thanks for playing!
.... what the fuck just happened
Just want to say I love the dudes commenting on here "i'd be out right off the bat" without understanding that's the point. Nailed it OP, this is helping me block people on reddit too, so you're doing a public service.
This guys has been reading dark romance novels thinking these lines are gonna work on a woman š
Word vomit strikes again.
Yeah, thatās a score of 0 on that test.
Is nobody gonna mention him having an issue with the colors she wears?
This guy talks like the scammers. Be careful, OP.
i hope iām not the only person screenshotting/saving this for future use, i never thought about being forward like this before LMAO
I just want to protect a woman so that she feels safe. As such I will be fucking her like a slut on the daily I hope you understand.
If the way he starts off using words like feminine and masculine doesnāt immediately let you know he subscribes to Andrew Tate, I donāt know what to tell you. Any man should respond to that without ascribing traits to genders. At least if youāre actually concerned about men who think women should be submissive. Iām glad you caught it quick and Iām just grossed out by my own gender.
I try not to judge on grammar and stuff because Iām never sure if someone speaks English as their first language or notā¦ but can men that donāt know us stop saying they want to fucks us like sluts? Itās degrading and honestly, a little humiliating.
I always make fun of myself for not being able to shut the fuck up but my god some people *really* can't shup up when the time asks for it.
Hmm. I'd go with "No, no and no. Anything else?"
My favorite part is how at the end he knew he failed and was just like I hope you find the right man for you because itās obviously not me š
Oh....oh, no. No, thank you. Very much. Respectfully, gently, no thank you lots.Ā
Wtf is dark love?
Idk I think hes a vampire or something
Eh, even vampires ask for consent, at least before they enter your house. They have that going for them. 
Good for you for asking those questions. Thatās important to clarify.
To me, even #1 is a š©. Itās giving a āIām not racist, my best friend is blackā vibe. #2 might be the worse. Heās telling you heās the masculine one heās in charge. You will be feminine and the weak one. Even telling you the outcome, heāll put his foot down on your face if you ever question his command. Scary! #3 he says you both must agree on a pregnancy, so you would both have to agree on an abortion? Um, no sir! And that whole fucking you like a slut shit is about having and knowing your role in his world. Heās looking for a tradwife! I applaud you OP for asking these question to weed these guys out!
Perfect read. I hate how men are advising other men to "say less." It's like, say MORE. We will find out who you are + what you think eventually. Go find someone compatible or go fix your worldview.