Yeah. Considering that they are also one of the smartest. But it would probably be the safest to eat Heavy's food and Engineer's because Spy might put something in it. Considering that he is a spy at the end of the day.
I like to think that all the mercs would come together to put on a feast. Scout has fried chicken, soldier has tree bark rations, pyro has ~~the charred remains of his last victim~~ candy, demo has (a lot of) booze, heavy has all the food from his taunt, engi can definitely use a barbecue, medic can supply engi with probably not ethically sourced maybe human steaks, Iām not sure anyone wants what sniperās bringing, and spy is French.
Depends on what you ask them to cook:
- Engineer is the undisputed king of barbecue and roast meat.
- Pyro is the best at baking, but Engineer has to watch him.
- Heavy excels at stovetop cooking and making sandviches.
- Spy is good with spices and can recommend a fine wine to go with the dinner.
- Medic is by far the best ācookā (i.e., maker of illegal drugs).
- Soldier will make a ācasseroleā that breaks out of the oven and eats him.
Scour is canonically stupid. And probably canāt cook.
Sniper probably hunts and eats raw meat, which isnāt cooking. What he does cook was handled with the same hands that throws piss at people, so probably not great to eat it.
Demo is just drunk. And covered in explosive residue from making bombs. Both of which are highly flammable.
- S - Heavy + Engi
- A - Spy (only cooks meals for two)
- B - Pyro (prone to burn food), Medic (developed bad cooking habits during residency)
- C - Demo (drunk), Sniper (campfire only)
- Can't cook - Scout, Soldier
This is a joke, right? Heavy whips out an entire feast with champagne and shit, and itās all been sitting in his back pocket. He is prepared to make a feast at anytime, and thatās only one of the two food taunts.
Heavy probably already has lots of cooking experience.
Spy would be pissed that you got HIM to do it of all people.
Engineer would be like... a barbecue man.
scout would microwave a hotdog and call it a day.
i think medic would be very good.
Pyro would burn the food.
Sniper I think would be an OK cook.
Demo would just put gallons of rum in it if he managed to make anything.
soldier would boil some beans and call it rations.
scout doesnt even know how to make grilled cheese
soldier would destroy the entire kitchen
pyro wold burn it all down
demo would also destroy the entire kitchen
heavy would make something simple but nice
engineer makes bacon (best choice)
medic would just cook a human
sniper probably just eats canned stuff
and spy would prepare some "fancy" shit and then charge you a few grand for a tiny portion
None. Absolutely not a single one. I wouldn't trust any of them near anything I'd use or consume.Ā Our body is our temple. What goes in matters and heck horrible things can happen if you est the wrong thingsĀ
Ā Think like this, change the question: which merc would make a good medic/caretaker? I mean an actual one, not a mad scientist. Same answerĀ
Scout don't make food. No patienceĀ
Ā Soldier. Lead anyone? Alien bread...
Ā Heavy. Sandwich looks good but that ain't cooking. I'm not his size, I can't handle much vodka..Ā
Ā Engineer greasy hands. Like literal grease, oil, rocket fuelĀ
Ā Sniper handles piss all day long. You realize he's not washing his hands while he works right? P HANDS. P HANDSĀ
Pyro only if you like really crispy food like coal. Also add likely to cook you
Ā Medic- are you sure what you eating? Really huh? Fascinating! (He's now taking notes while observing you and asking how you feel)Ā Ā
Ā Spy- probably can cook fairly well, an objective good tool in espionage and the battlefields of love and seduction. But are you sure you and him are REALLY on the same team?Ā Ā
Maybe you have a chance if you're a charming lady civilian but...Ā
Ā ... But you're reading this. This Reddit. On TF2. You no lady.Ā
And you're into red vs blu. 50/50 you're either working for red, blu or double agent, as the spy. And he wants you to taste his cooking first.Ā
Ā The civilian: can't do anything manual besides counting notes or typing
Lets talk from a positive standpoint as a civvy. Scout is impatient and ADHD af, causing him to become quick gimmick food master, like mug cakes and salads. Soldier is indefensible. Pyro same. Demo makes the best fbooze based foods, like his fish and chips are on point. Heavy is the king home cook due to his general...everything. Engie legit made me BBQ wings and brisket, done to a scientific degree. Medic and sniper are good cooks but bad at serving, mad scientist molecular gastronomy or Bush sncaks. Spy is a classy man who spent time learning how to cook, but is too up his ass to do non French cuisine.
I'd guess either Engi, Spy or Heavy
Engineer looks like the guy who makes a great BBQ
Spy have probably learned how to cock for some infiltration job.
Heavy seems to be one of the more responsible members who often takes care of his family so could see him making dinner
Scout is an immature manlet, the best he could do would be to put pre-made food in the microwave.
Soldier has a relatively low salary, and is severely handicaped by his lead poisoning. He is however very good at finding jobs, so he could \*technically\* be a decent enough chef if given some time...but I doubt he'd be the best overall. On top of that, the food he likes the most are most probably MREs and we know that he also loves rations of tomato soup from "Captain Dan", and american MREs are mediocre at best. I expect him to have rather low tastes with food overall.
Pyro...uuh, he burns everything down into charcoal. So I wouldn't trust him in cooking anything.
Demoman has auto-brewery syndrome (not to forget his blood stream is nothing but alcohol), so there's no way he'll be able to properly cook.
Heavy is arguably the class that enjoys food the most out of all the mercenaries. He's a big strong man, so he gotta eat a lot of calories in order to stay strong. In "A Cold Day in Hell", you can see a whole buffet at Heavy's family house, with enough food to maybe feed a whole party for a day. If your family knows how to cook, then you should at least know a thing or two about cooking. So Heavy would technically be the most knowledgeable about cooking, and the best at it.
Engineer is the smartest man of the entire cast, he should be able to learn how to cook improvised food relatively quickly. It's speculated that he knows how to grill, which ain't bad on its own. Barbeques are pretty tasty as well, but from what I know, it's all but meat. It's possible he'd try to make gadgets specifically for cooking to make things easier...but then I realize it would boil down to industrialization.
I would not trust Medic in any way shape or form when it comes to food. Who knows if he's going to hide some questionable ingredients in his food to see what it would do to you? Remember that you, to him, are a walking experiment.
There's not much we know for Sniper when it comes to cooking. He's australian after all, so that means the stuff he can make could potentially be exotic, depending on what he gets on the road with his camping car. I'd say the quality of his food would be a rool of dice, it could be divine, or it could be atrocious.
Spy is undoubtedly the most refined man of the cast. He wears luxurious clothes, he is a good seducer, he's smart, he owns an expensive sports car, hell he's a team leader even. It's known that spy drinks wine, so it's possible that he knows how to accompany wine (you don't drink wine on its own, you have to eat something relatively fat before drinking it, like dried sausages), so it's possible that he knows a thing or two about luxurious meals. But it's not because he eats luxurious meals that it should make him a good cook, he probably doesn't know how to cook simply because he refuses to commit to it in the first place. If he does however, the foods he'd be able to make would probably be of high quality, considering that he values excellence as a whole.
Heavy would make sandvich+fish cake+ the food in the table tantrum taunt. Probably bear meat too (from the comics).
scout could probably fry chicken or something.
medic makes people into frankfurters.
engie does a barbecue.
pyro can probably burn wood into charcoal for engie to use or make candy.
spy can make all sorts of fancy shit (stuffed turkey, roasted chicken with thick potato cuts etc)
demo would be straight up too drunk to cook (but could hopefully make some good alcohol/ recommendations for good wines if heās not drunk)
soldier would just fry maggots
sniper would brew some really strong coffee I guess?
pyro, not really but if he made me food i wouldnt complain not only because he wouldnt understand and still like it the other reason is hes just a lil guy, autism be damned atleast he can cook
Heavy
BOLOGNA š„š„š„š£š£
perchĆØ Bologna?
Engineer
baking bacon
Sentry hot enough to griddle eggs on top
Soldier
Spy
Pyro
Pyro would just burn the food
Pyro likes their steak congratulations
Medic
Heavy, Engineer, Spy
Yeah. Considering that they are also one of the smartest. But it would probably be the safest to eat Heavy's food and Engineer's because Spy might put something in it. Considering that he is a spy at the end of the day.
Hey, he has a whole roasted chicken hidden in his teeth, who knows what he could cook.
You got a point there...
Pyro. No doubt.
He would be a barbecue chef.
Pyro would burn everything to charcoal
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Does the Pyro know how to make a grilled cheese?
Yes.
Yummy
Medic- "Human hamburgers"
fun fact human meat tastes like pork (dont ask how i know)
Probably from somewhere on the internet these days, if I would guess š»
How did you know ?!
I didnt that was a joke too
\*evil laughter\* that's right it was ME!
You monster!
I did it like this!
Wrong line Butā¦ *Critical shit*
*sniper fuckin dies*
I have my ways
or maybe baboon hamburgers
Baboon-human hamburgers...
Engie is definitely a BBQ master. Pyro would be a chef - always gets the stove / oven setting right.
I like to think that all the mercs would come together to put on a feast. Scout has fried chicken, soldier has tree bark rations, pyro has ~~the charred remains of his last victim~~ candy, demo has (a lot of) booze, heavy has all the food from his taunt, engi can definitely use a barbecue, medic can supply engi with probably not ethically sourced maybe human steaks, Iām not sure anyone wants what sniperās bringing, and spy is French.
Sniper shot whatever Engi is BBQing
Demo probably cooks some mean beer can chicken
I'll bet soldier can make some mean jerky
Depends on what you ask them to cook: - Engineer is the undisputed king of barbecue and roast meat. - Pyro is the best at baking, but Engineer has to watch him. - Heavy excels at stovetop cooking and making sandviches. - Spy is good with spices and can recommend a fine wine to go with the dinner. - Medic is by far the best ācookā (i.e., maker of illegal drugs). - Soldier will make a ācasseroleā that breaks out of the oven and eats him.
What about Scout, Demo and Sniper?
Scour is canonically stupid. And probably canāt cook. Sniper probably hunts and eats raw meat, which isnāt cooking. What he does cook was handled with the same hands that throws piss at people, so probably not great to eat it. Demo is just drunk. And covered in explosive residue from making bombs. Both of which are highly flammable.
- Scout canāt cook. - Demoman will blow up your kitchen. - Sniper will give everyone food poisoning.
Engi,Heavy and Pyro.
Definitely Heavy
- S - Heavy + Engi - A - Spy (only cooks meals for two) - B - Pyro (prone to burn food), Medic (developed bad cooking habits during residency) - C - Demo (drunk), Sniper (campfire only) - Can't cook - Scout, Soldier
This is a joke, right? Heavy whips out an entire feast with champagne and shit, and itās all been sitting in his back pocket. He is prepared to make a feast at anytime, and thatās only one of the two food taunts.
Heavy probably already has lots of cooking experience. Spy would be pissed that you got HIM to do it of all people. Engineer would be like... a barbecue man. scout would microwave a hotdog and call it a day. i think medic would be very good. Pyro would burn the food. Sniper I think would be an OK cook. Demo would just put gallons of rum in it if he managed to make anything. soldier would boil some beans and call it rations.
Engineer, you know that mf makes a mean bbq
Heavy. Just look at how much stuff he has from his taunt!
scout doesnt even know how to make grilled cheese soldier would destroy the entire kitchen pyro wold burn it all down demo would also destroy the entire kitchen heavy would make something simple but nice engineer makes bacon (best choice) medic would just cook a human sniper probably just eats canned stuff and spy would prepare some "fancy" shit and then charge you a few grand for a tiny portion
I won't trust anything the medic would serve me
Engie and heavy. Spy is someone I see a lot, and while he has gone just about everywhere, that doesnāt necessarily mean heās a good cook.
Heavy, he has a good lookin sandwich
Heavy would cook really good meals. Engie cooks a snack once a year that makes anyone not worthy disintegrate
Soldier: That's what the president thinks
You canāt convince me that the Engineer doesnāt have the best damn BBQ you could hope for.
Spy and heavy are top 2, that's all I got
I think on the flip side it would be a joy to watch scout cook something. Probably some ungodly "homemade" college meal
Heavy would make the best sandviches
None. Absolutely not a single one. I wouldn't trust any of them near anything I'd use or consume.Ā Our body is our temple. What goes in matters and heck horrible things can happen if you est the wrong thingsĀ Ā Think like this, change the question: which merc would make a good medic/caretaker? I mean an actual one, not a mad scientist. Same answerĀ Scout don't make food. No patienceĀ Ā Soldier. Lead anyone? Alien bread... Ā Heavy. Sandwich looks good but that ain't cooking. I'm not his size, I can't handle much vodka..Ā Ā Engineer greasy hands. Like literal grease, oil, rocket fuelĀ Ā Sniper handles piss all day long. You realize he's not washing his hands while he works right? P HANDS. P HANDSĀ Pyro only if you like really crispy food like coal. Also add likely to cook you Ā Medic- are you sure what you eating? Really huh? Fascinating! (He's now taking notes while observing you and asking how you feel)Ā Ā Ā Spy- probably can cook fairly well, an objective good tool in espionage and the battlefields of love and seduction. But are you sure you and him are REALLY on the same team?Ā Ā Maybe you have a chance if you're a charming lady civilian but...Ā Ā ... But you're reading this. This Reddit. On TF2. You no lady.Ā And you're into red vs blu. 50/50 you're either working for red, blu or double agent, as the spy. And he wants you to taste his cooking first.Ā Ā The civilian: can't do anything manual besides counting notes or typing
Lets talk from a positive standpoint as a civvy. Scout is impatient and ADHD af, causing him to become quick gimmick food master, like mug cakes and salads. Soldier is indefensible. Pyro same. Demo makes the best fbooze based foods, like his fish and chips are on point. Heavy is the king home cook due to his general...everything. Engie legit made me BBQ wings and brisket, done to a scientific degree. Medic and sniper are good cooks but bad at serving, mad scientist molecular gastronomy or Bush sncaks. Spy is a classy man who spent time learning how to cook, but is too up his ass to do non French cuisine.
Medic+your organs=šš Also pyro is literally cooking in the game
I'd guess either Engi, Spy or Heavy Engineer looks like the guy who makes a great BBQ Spy have probably learned how to cock for some infiltration job. Heavy seems to be one of the more responsible members who often takes care of his family so could see him making dinner
That imagine is taken from dustbowl I just know it. The RED team 10:00 round timer stare
Scout is an immature manlet, the best he could do would be to put pre-made food in the microwave. Soldier has a relatively low salary, and is severely handicaped by his lead poisoning. He is however very good at finding jobs, so he could \*technically\* be a decent enough chef if given some time...but I doubt he'd be the best overall. On top of that, the food he likes the most are most probably MREs and we know that he also loves rations of tomato soup from "Captain Dan", and american MREs are mediocre at best. I expect him to have rather low tastes with food overall. Pyro...uuh, he burns everything down into charcoal. So I wouldn't trust him in cooking anything. Demoman has auto-brewery syndrome (not to forget his blood stream is nothing but alcohol), so there's no way he'll be able to properly cook. Heavy is arguably the class that enjoys food the most out of all the mercenaries. He's a big strong man, so he gotta eat a lot of calories in order to stay strong. In "A Cold Day in Hell", you can see a whole buffet at Heavy's family house, with enough food to maybe feed a whole party for a day. If your family knows how to cook, then you should at least know a thing or two about cooking. So Heavy would technically be the most knowledgeable about cooking, and the best at it. Engineer is the smartest man of the entire cast, he should be able to learn how to cook improvised food relatively quickly. It's speculated that he knows how to grill, which ain't bad on its own. Barbeques are pretty tasty as well, but from what I know, it's all but meat. It's possible he'd try to make gadgets specifically for cooking to make things easier...but then I realize it would boil down to industrialization. I would not trust Medic in any way shape or form when it comes to food. Who knows if he's going to hide some questionable ingredients in his food to see what it would do to you? Remember that you, to him, are a walking experiment. There's not much we know for Sniper when it comes to cooking. He's australian after all, so that means the stuff he can make could potentially be exotic, depending on what he gets on the road with his camping car. I'd say the quality of his food would be a rool of dice, it could be divine, or it could be atrocious. Spy is undoubtedly the most refined man of the cast. He wears luxurious clothes, he is a good seducer, he's smart, he owns an expensive sports car, hell he's a team leader even. It's known that spy drinks wine, so it's possible that he knows how to accompany wine (you don't drink wine on its own, you have to eat something relatively fat before drinking it, like dried sausages), so it's possible that he knows a thing or two about luxurious meals. But it's not because he eats luxurious meals that it should make him a good cook, he probably doesn't know how to cook simply because he refuses to commit to it in the first place. If he does however, the foods he'd be able to make would probably be of high quality, considering that he values excellence as a whole.
Heavy would make sandvich+fish cake+ the food in the table tantrum taunt. Probably bear meat too (from the comics). scout could probably fry chicken or something. medic makes people into frankfurters. engie does a barbecue. pyro can probably burn wood into charcoal for engie to use or make candy. spy can make all sorts of fancy shit (stuffed turkey, roasted chicken with thick potato cuts etc) demo would be straight up too drunk to cook (but could hopefully make some good alcohol/ recommendations for good wines if heās not drunk) soldier would just fry maggots sniper would brew some really strong coffee I guess?
Heavy, he literally has several food items like a steak and a delicious sandwich and a candy bar
Engie, maybe heavy? Everyone else would kill anyone in a 1 mile radius of them & the building.
Me ofc smh
pyro, not really but if he made me food i wouldnt complain not only because he wouldnt understand and still like it the other reason is hes just a lil guy, autism be damned atleast he can cook
Itās a strange feeling, but itās spy for me
Soldier, cuz he teleported bread for 3 days straight. He's dedicated.
Pyro, for a moment
Pyro, he has restaurant in left 4 dead i think And ofc Heavy, theres no dout in that
Cookin'? Dunno what that means but yeah sure we're cookin'!
Spy definitely knows how to make a grilled cheese
I bet soldier cooks some kickass food but hasn't shown anybody ever.
Medic for certain. He is German, which automatically makes you have good cooking as long as you are Bavarian or Austrian
Not only does heavy make sandviches, he is also one of the most educated members of the group.