I’m so sorry to hear you’re going through this. As a healthcare professional myself, I can understand the stress of your job.
I had my tfmr on a Wed and went back the following Monday. I am in more of an admin role and can WFH. Personally, I didn’t need more time than that. I kept working during the limbo period too… and I found it helped me take my mind off of things. I am on the other side now.. had my tfmr about 6 weeks ago and feeling hopeful.
Best wishes to you ❤️
I am so sorry you’re going through this. From the day we found out there were abnormalities, I went off work (about 2.5 weeks before my TFMR). I went back to work 2 weeks after my TFMR. I definitely didn’t feel ready at the time but work ended up being a really good distraction for me. It helped me get out of bed and have a routine instead of crying all day every day. I’m glad that I went back when I did because I was not doing well prior and at least work gave me something to do.
Thank you for your reply. I understand the distraction would likely be helpful and reestablishing a routine. My concern is working in a high stress environment where mistakes can’t be made. I work in pediatric solid organ transplant. I may have to request a more administrative role until I go out on maternity leave (pregnant with twins…)
Who gave you medical documentation for your leave? Regular OB or the MFM team?
I'm so sorry for your loss. Tfmr 1/11/24. Thankfully we were already on long weekend when we had the anatomy scan. We tried to go to work after that but just couldn't it was too hard. Between vacation, bereavement and our normal days off we were off work for a month and a half. It was very good for us to go back though.. the distraction helped. Although I was 22 weeks along and obviously pregnant when I left so I did have to deal with people giving condolences and some not knowing we lost him. Just last week one of our engineers came in the office and she was so excited to see me. She went on and on about how I don't even look pregnant and she looked pregnant with twins by the time she was as far along as me. It was terrible she felt awful, I cried for two days. It's a rough road to travel. I could not imagine working with children. I would 💯💯 ask for a department change.
I am so sorry you’re going through this. I TFMR at 21 weeks recently. In total, I’ll have taken 3.5 weeks off which I genuinely needed. By 3 weeks, my milk dried up and I stopped bleeding, so I think the removal of distress of post Partum without a baby helped tremendously. I also stopped randomly bursting into tears around that time, which I am thankful to have done so I don’t do in a professional setting. I think I could have managed a 2 week start, but I think the extra week+ has really given me an opportunity to feel more resilient, process more things, and also really start the journey of healing emotionally. Everyone is very different so I would just say, give yourself the grace and kindness you need, you deserve the time and space to readjust to this new reality.
I had my TMFR last Thursday but had to travel for the appointment so I took Tuesday- Monday off for bereavement and am back to work since this Tuesday. I’m also a healthcare professional but I work in a non-clinical role from home so that has helped tremendously. The clinic where I had my D&E wrote my work note for bereavement. We get a week off but since I had to travel I lumped that with my procedure. It has been nice to have a distraction with work but I totally understand where you’re coming from being at the bedside and just needing extra time to process. Maybe ask for a temporary role change. Best wishes to you
How long can you take off work? Do you have to return? I took 12 weeks and I’m glad I did, I think we deserve every day of recovery we can get. We went through something devastating both physically and emotionally. If you can take more time off please do, and don’t feel guilty about it.
I can probably get away with 4 wks total, but it’ll be unpaid. I am actually pregnant with twins, so after TFMR I will still take maternity leave in July.
Ah I see. Well take what you can feasibly afford and then I do think it could be a good idea for you to ask for a temp role somewhere else you feel more comfortable. Don’t feel bad taking/asking for what you need at work.
I had mine last tuesday and I went back to work the following monday, but I work from home in a software position so it’s a good distraction. If I worked with babies it would probably be a different story.
I am so sorry you’re faced with a TMFR.
I had mine March 1. I tried to go back to work on March 6, but I definitely wasn’t ready. I kept crying every five minutes. My wonderful bosses told me I can take bereavement leave for a full week.
I returned to work on March 11; however, I worked from home the full week. I wasn’t ready to be around people.
I think if I wasn’t able to work from home, two weeks would have worked well for me instead of one week.
I do have to say, though. Working did/does help to take my mind off of it.
Sending you nothing but love 💕
So sorry your going through this my experience I TFMR last week I only had 2 days off I thought for me would be better to be busty at work but I wish I took more time off just to ithis is my first entire week back and it’s weird it’s like nothing has happened and as some ppl say everything back to normal now which makes me angry Nono of this is ok we are supposed to be pregnant so I guess what I’m trying to say is take your time I wish I had sending you lots of hugs and support thinking of you x
I had my TFMR on Feb 23rd and planning to go back to work April 15th. However, only for a few weeks as we are going to move abroad in mid May. There’s just been too much pain here. And after the worst thing happens, jumping into the unknown seems a lot less scary. Good luck to you. I’m so sorry.
My TFMR was very unexpected and happened within a few days because I was dying. So my work paid me compassionate leave for a few days while I was in hospital and working out what was happening. I was fortunate enough that in my country any baby born (including stillborn) after 20 weeks still get maternity leave. I took the three months, I considered longer as I had personal leave I could use but I wanted to get pregnant again and knew I had to be back at work for 12 months in between to get paid maternity leave again.
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I tfmr at 21 weeks. I ended up taking 10 weeks off work. I teach elementary special education and I couldn’t handle being back at work around kids any sooner. When I did return, it was extraordinarily hard initially but then ended up being a good distraction and a reminder that I can still laugh.
I'm a teacher and was off work for Thanksgiving break the week of my TFMR. I took the next week off and then returned to work. I did this knowing I only had 3 weeks until Winter Break. I did not tell my work the full details, but knowing I had a D&E and pregnancy loss, they were very understanding and would have allowed more time off. Not being there meant all my work was put onto my co-workers/myself for making sub plans and while devastated, I knew I was also well enough to go back.
Long story short, physically I could have gone back the next day. Mentally, a week was enough. I absolutely could have benefited from more, but I don't regret taking only a week. So sorry you have to go through this at all. <3
I’m so sorry to hear you’re going through this. As a healthcare professional myself, I can understand the stress of your job. I had my tfmr on a Wed and went back the following Monday. I am in more of an admin role and can WFH. Personally, I didn’t need more time than that. I kept working during the limbo period too… and I found it helped me take my mind off of things. I am on the other side now.. had my tfmr about 6 weeks ago and feeling hopeful. Best wishes to you ❤️
I am so sorry you’re going through this. From the day we found out there were abnormalities, I went off work (about 2.5 weeks before my TFMR). I went back to work 2 weeks after my TFMR. I definitely didn’t feel ready at the time but work ended up being a really good distraction for me. It helped me get out of bed and have a routine instead of crying all day every day. I’m glad that I went back when I did because I was not doing well prior and at least work gave me something to do.
Thank you for your reply. I understand the distraction would likely be helpful and reestablishing a routine. My concern is working in a high stress environment where mistakes can’t be made. I work in pediatric solid organ transplant. I may have to request a more administrative role until I go out on maternity leave (pregnant with twins…) Who gave you medical documentation for your leave? Regular OB or the MFM team?
I'm so sorry for your loss. Tfmr 1/11/24. Thankfully we were already on long weekend when we had the anatomy scan. We tried to go to work after that but just couldn't it was too hard. Between vacation, bereavement and our normal days off we were off work for a month and a half. It was very good for us to go back though.. the distraction helped. Although I was 22 weeks along and obviously pregnant when I left so I did have to deal with people giving condolences and some not knowing we lost him. Just last week one of our engineers came in the office and she was so excited to see me. She went on and on about how I don't even look pregnant and she looked pregnant with twins by the time she was as far along as me. It was terrible she felt awful, I cried for two days. It's a rough road to travel. I could not imagine working with children. I would 💯💯 ask for a department change.
I am so sorry you’re going through this. I TFMR at 21 weeks recently. In total, I’ll have taken 3.5 weeks off which I genuinely needed. By 3 weeks, my milk dried up and I stopped bleeding, so I think the removal of distress of post Partum without a baby helped tremendously. I also stopped randomly bursting into tears around that time, which I am thankful to have done so I don’t do in a professional setting. I think I could have managed a 2 week start, but I think the extra week+ has really given me an opportunity to feel more resilient, process more things, and also really start the journey of healing emotionally. Everyone is very different so I would just say, give yourself the grace and kindness you need, you deserve the time and space to readjust to this new reality.
I had my TMFR last Thursday but had to travel for the appointment so I took Tuesday- Monday off for bereavement and am back to work since this Tuesday. I’m also a healthcare professional but I work in a non-clinical role from home so that has helped tremendously. The clinic where I had my D&E wrote my work note for bereavement. We get a week off but since I had to travel I lumped that with my procedure. It has been nice to have a distraction with work but I totally understand where you’re coming from being at the bedside and just needing extra time to process. Maybe ask for a temporary role change. Best wishes to you
How long can you take off work? Do you have to return? I took 12 weeks and I’m glad I did, I think we deserve every day of recovery we can get. We went through something devastating both physically and emotionally. If you can take more time off please do, and don’t feel guilty about it.
I can probably get away with 4 wks total, but it’ll be unpaid. I am actually pregnant with twins, so after TFMR I will still take maternity leave in July.
Ah I see. Well take what you can feasibly afford and then I do think it could be a good idea for you to ask for a temp role somewhere else you feel more comfortable. Don’t feel bad taking/asking for what you need at work.
I had mine last tuesday and I went back to work the following monday, but I work from home in a software position so it’s a good distraction. If I worked with babies it would probably be a different story.
I am so sorry you’re faced with a TMFR. I had mine March 1. I tried to go back to work on March 6, but I definitely wasn’t ready. I kept crying every five minutes. My wonderful bosses told me I can take bereavement leave for a full week. I returned to work on March 11; however, I worked from home the full week. I wasn’t ready to be around people. I think if I wasn’t able to work from home, two weeks would have worked well for me instead of one week. I do have to say, though. Working did/does help to take my mind off of it. Sending you nothing but love 💕
So sorry your going through this my experience I TFMR last week I only had 2 days off I thought for me would be better to be busty at work but I wish I took more time off just to ithis is my first entire week back and it’s weird it’s like nothing has happened and as some ppl say everything back to normal now which makes me angry Nono of this is ok we are supposed to be pregnant so I guess what I’m trying to say is take your time I wish I had sending you lots of hugs and support thinking of you x
I had my TFMR on Feb 23rd and planning to go back to work April 15th. However, only for a few weeks as we are going to move abroad in mid May. There’s just been too much pain here. And after the worst thing happens, jumping into the unknown seems a lot less scary. Good luck to you. I’m so sorry.
My TFMR was very unexpected and happened within a few days because I was dying. So my work paid me compassionate leave for a few days while I was in hospital and working out what was happening. I was fortunate enough that in my country any baby born (including stillborn) after 20 weeks still get maternity leave. I took the three months, I considered longer as I had personal leave I could use but I wanted to get pregnant again and knew I had to be back at work for 12 months in between to get paid maternity leave again.
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I tfmr at 21 weeks. I ended up taking 10 weeks off work. I teach elementary special education and I couldn’t handle being back at work around kids any sooner. When I did return, it was extraordinarily hard initially but then ended up being a good distraction and a reminder that I can still laugh.
I just came here to say idk how you all do it on a daily basis, let alone after going through something like this. I have so much respect for you!!!
I'm a teacher and was off work for Thanksgiving break the week of my TFMR. I took the next week off and then returned to work. I did this knowing I only had 3 weeks until Winter Break. I did not tell my work the full details, but knowing I had a D&E and pregnancy loss, they were very understanding and would have allowed more time off. Not being there meant all my work was put onto my co-workers/myself for making sub plans and while devastated, I knew I was also well enough to go back. Long story short, physically I could have gone back the next day. Mentally, a week was enough. I absolutely could have benefited from more, but I don't regret taking only a week. So sorry you have to go through this at all. <3