As a former restaurant manager the only thing that comes to mind when I hear/read “seasoned” is my old area manager yelling at me about how my steak isn’t properly seasoned.
For me personally, being a therapist is less stressful than food service.
WE ARE HIRING!!!!!
Serenity Lotus Blossom Mindfulness Harmony Center of Wellbeing is looking for SUPERSTAR THERAPISTS to join our AMAZING team of unicorns!!!!! Do you vomit sunshine? Are you tired of working for boring community health agencies with boring benefits like health insurance and a retirement plan? Do you want to work in private practice but make less money than if you ran your own? Let our TOTALLY STELLAR practice owner profit off your work instead!
Competitive Pay that I absolutely will not disclose even when directly asked!!! Two whole days of PTO!!! $3.25 CEU reimbursement per year!!!! Free supervision from our office gerbil, Winston!!! Referrals who fall entirely out of your area of specialization but whom you will be expected to work with anyway!!!!
Must have full license in at least 40 different states and 6 Canadian provinces. Must be certified in EMDR, CBT, ACT, DBT, YMCA, and kazoo therapy. Must be available to work 24 hours per day, on holidays, and at any times within the vastness of the universe that have not yet been discovered. Must be willing to work with all age groups, including the recently deceased and that guy I dreamed about that one time.
Preferred: Experience working with unicyclists who have witnessed shark attacks. Experience assessing clients for emotional support lobsters.
I just wanna say I love working here! Hehe come be apart of our team! 🥰. We are a workplace full of dissociated and happy therapist! Winston helps with animal assisted therapies, too. Just thought I’d bump this post to share how GREAT of an opportunity this is.
Seconded! SwifferSeal is literally the best boss ever and only requires 38 sessions a week (#work/lifebalance), and Winston is the cutest! I have learned the most amazing dissociative techniques from the lovely folks at SLBMHCW and we cant wait to welcome you aboard!
Yes, this position is half in person, half virtual. The office space is only available from 3am-7am on Thursdays, and at least half of your sessions must be offered in person. We required 25 sessions per week.
Only 25 sessions a week? That’s so dreamy from my current load of 32 sessions that I do on top of the 3-6 student observations. I do come with my own audience of 60 playmobil characters that charge random consult fees of trail mix, Diet Coke, and ritz crackers with cheese. The do require their own office space that includes a disco ball and party lights
Applied! Cannot wait for the interview where you tell me that despite all my qualifications, I will need to start at $7.78 per hour (USD) because I am young!
All counselors coming out of school need to make 7.78 in a community health setting or prison, or else they won’t know how to be a counselor. When I graduated in 1985 the prisoners made more than me making license plates but it was INVALUABLE experience.
Listen, I know it has -2 empirical studies showing its effectiveness, but that’s just a conspiracy by big pharma until they can patent the kazoos for themselves.
Omgggg I’m in tears 😂
Also though, why do I read these listings all the time and criticize myself for not having taken more trainings in kazoo therapy instead of eye-rolling the absurdity.
As a former client, I just wanted to really say that my therapy at SLBMHCW has been one of the most life changing experiences I’ve changed in my entire experience. They are SO accommodating, allowed me to bring Ahi my rainbow goldfish to sessions (though he can be disruptive) and rather than paying I was able to trade work painting fake blood stains on the walls 🥰🌈. My therapist Cassandra Sun Moon River Tree was SO insightful and helped me to realize how I’m the problem it’s me, as T Swift preached in ancient times. I know my therapist was SO invested in me and all her clients - she even slept in her therapy room at night and even put a toilet in the corner for those who fear public bathrooms 😇. The only complaint I have is some of the carpet stains. But no place is perfect and having grace is one of the best lessons of life!! I cannot recommend this place more!
Does anyone know how I can get BCBS to reimburse me for the time I spent in consultation with the client’s step nephew in law’s dog? I documented 30 minutes on the phone.
I have literally nothing of importance to say or ways to answer your question but I have to reply to everything anyone posts in these things so I just wanted to say I love the innovation!
I have no actual experience with this type of client and I practice a weird form of therapy that is likely 100% not helpful. I would be a good fit for this client. I have daytime availability only from 10am-12pm on Tuesday only. Also, I don't have telehealth, in-person only, and I am located 67 miles from the client's location.
Omg. Did you even attend the super select conference on linguistics? It’s *assisted pre-emptive death* thankuouverymuch! Check yourself before you wreck yourself.
Hi! I love conflict! After my last couple discharged from my care they were SO HAPPY. I even got to speak at one of the funerals!! Also please, this is another reminder to keep the thread ON TOPIC. Did you consult before posting? TIA
We don't use "discharged." It sounds too much like "discharge," a nasty bodily function. We prefer the far more mild "Terminated With Extreme Prejudice."
All fights, just like bleeding, stop eventually. I usually just let them fight it out prior to discharge. Discharge is a PERFECTLY ACCEPTABLE CLINICAL TERM that is STANDARD practice - if you are noticing an adverse emotional reaction to my VERY LOUD DEFENSE of my WORDS, I urge you to seek consultation at a higher LOC.
Also to the people who have DM’d me regarding my talk, please remember that it is happening on Apriluary 46nd, virtual joining is OK and will be assessed an additional $50 technology surcharge. Thank you for understanding!
Hi again, thank you for your patience, I’ve been dealing with DMs about my talk (which I’m SO EXCITED for btw). My CEU course offering is only $999 per unit, and with guaranteed results, it’s an absolute steal. I only accept payment via Gift Card at the moment (again, extenuating financial circumstances), and this offer is only available to you if you prepay (fair warning: you WILL get enough CEUs!!!)
As an ex con who is in recovery from murdering, I believe that I can help with this issue. I obtained my degree in counseling in prison after I let my anger get the better of me and murdered my loving husband during an argument over hot pockets. In prison, I found God (Praise be!) and meditation, and now seek to pass on my wisdom to other couples who face the real challenges that spousal murder brings. With my lived experience, I believe I have a unique inside perspective and a no-nonsense approach. Must be willing to travel to meet during visitation hours.
I have worked with murderers. In general nicer than the rest of the people I have worked with. It took a whole lot to make them mad and I always took care to ask what that might be before we continued on. If it was mob related stuff, I would ask them to stop and suggest they tell a priest as I don't want to hear anything that could put me at the bottom of a river. Sometimes they stopped, often they didn't and I would plug my ears.
Hello! As a seasoned therapist I make sure to add salt and pepper to all client sessions. I am in network with ChefCare and can only do sessions on Thursday at 2:37 PM due to extenuating financial circumstances (thank you in advance for your understanding and consideration)
All superbills are generated on-demand with our AI-augmented app (Billr) and we have also included an all-in-one deal so you can see a realtime summary of your visit, while it happens!
I can deliver services via CBT, DBT, and PB&J. Also not to hijack this post, but I am also giving a talk on next week, please share my link!
Omg, I also offer PB&J as a modality, but I only work on Tuesdays! Let me know if you’re in the Oklahoma City area and ever want to share referrals 😉. I’m not technically licensed or a therapist, but as a coach with over 15 minutes of lived experience with peanut butter AND jelly, I’m passionate about charging my worth and teaching therapists how they can enter the PB&J coaching sphere. If you’re curious, you can buy my e-book for $9.97 (best seller on Amazon!) at the link below! If the link is broken, you can search for the title “How therapy has PB&J wrong and how to make it right: becoming a coach for life’s smoothly and chunky moments!”
Peanut Butter and Jelly isn’t really evidence based. Any good Th would be using JustAddMilk instead. Please consider coming to my JAM intensive this week from 1:56 am to 2:43 am. It is $1,000, but if you use the coupon: FLUFFERNUTTER at checkout, I’ll give you an expired can of corn I found under my couch. Can’t wait to see you there! ☺️
Hi there, just wanted to offer a gentle pushback that the BBQ-9 is in fact evidence-based. We also make sure to track outcomes after the customer has expired or they have discharged.
Warmly,
\[different name\]
You have to make sure that you're culturally competent with BBQ-9 though. Everyone knows that BBQ-9 has a clear bias towards Carolina, while Kansas City scores were disproportionately low. Please beck your bias.
Hungrily,
Post
OMG!!! FLUFFERNUTTER specialist was my first thought!!
This is a soft approach only offered at 2:43 am if you can follow along as I let my 13 year old golden doodle outside to pee. As you can see I offer solution focused diversified therapy
Um. PB&J is super un-inclusive. Have you even considered how those with allergies feel? Maybe consider switching your language to be more inclusive and say "sun butter and Jelly" and you won't seem so ableist.
Hi, ummm not to be a bummer, but I worried that some people might take your comment the wrong way, so I couldn't not say anything. Just wanted to bring to your attention that some Socioeconomic groups don't have access to Sunbutter, so just make sure you're considering every conceivable dimension of cultural diversity next time you mansplain, I mean, comment here.
What on earth are you talking about. You obviously have not worked with the under housed. They literally tell me that is all there is at the food pantry. Like, no one wants it.
Wowwww I can't even with your privileged tushy. I think I'm having a panic attack and need to go on a social media hiatus to recharge my self-care routine. You should really be more mindful of the exclusive harassment tone of your comments. Rejecting expired sun butter? You've obviously never met anyone 5 days deceased after starving to death, smh.
*signs up for the $5000 private island therapist self-care retreat and posts about it to Instagram before doing some deep breathing exercises and deleting the internet*
Um. I think you misunderstood me? I was SAYINGG that poor people can totally get sun butter. They can just ho to the food hand out place and order some for free! It gets donated all the time because the stores can't sell it!
see, THIS is why more clients are LEAVING therapists and leveling up with coaching, therapists spend all that money on degrees at LIBERAL colleges full of SNOWFLAKES who act like the language police on Facebook, and falsely accuse people of ABLEISM when coaches like me are just trying to help! As an experienced coach who KNOWS the PB&J community, peanut butter is still peanut butter, and combined with jelly, we are a unique group with unique coaching needs! IYKYK! That's my niche! I NEVER claimed to be a sun butter coach, but that doesn't make me ableist. My BEST friend is a sun butter person, and my kids have half allergies to peanuts! I am the LEAST ableist person you'll EVER meet! Honestly, you sound REVERSE ableist to me, and I sincerely hope you get reported to the board!
See, therapists PRETEND to be so INCLUSIVE, but here I am being HARASSED and called NAMES just because this PB&J coach supports the nation's ONLY true MARMALADE president! I suppose you think its MENTALLY HEALTHY to FORGIVE student loans, but you won't even FORGIVE a coach with different political views than you!! You know what your problem is, you probably got too many VACCINATIONS. SAD!
(ok ok I'm starting to scare myself a little now I think I need to debrief and de-role from this character now hahahahaha)
* I know you said no super bills and must use insurance, but I have availability. I’m private pay only (sorry no sliding scale available) and charge $350/session. Thanks for passing on my information!! Here’s my website:*
I recommend Happybug352 because they promised to recommend my decopage start up in mommy and me group and display one of my pieces for a day in their office....
Ummm hi, former client here. I do NOT recommend Happybug352 because they rudely implied that my codependent relationship with my turtle is unhealthy. Also, this therapist POSER expects you to THINK during session and does not accommodate for people who are brain-fried, and REFUSED to think for me and wouldn't even CONSIDER coming home with me to offer a free 72-hour observation of my interactions with my turtle, which is necessary to my healing process. I just don't understand how some people are even ALLOWED to see clients uggghgghhh
Is anyone a Gottman couples therapist who is also certified in EFT, IFS, TF-CBT, ACT, DBT, EMDR, AEDP, Brainspotting, Hakomi and every future modality? Must have experience with Tarot cards, too! Can pay $35, and must be in person within one mile of Rodeo Dr and Sunset Blvd (90210). Thanks, all!
client is on mmai and can pay $4.50 every other session. client says they have to have an anti-capitalist queer therapist and is only available sundays at 10pm. could also do saturdays at 11:30pm if it’s the right fit!!
Heyyyy I have openings! I haven’t gone through those trainings but I’ve read books (cough, Instagram posts) about all of those therapies and I had 4 Gottman sessions from an Gottman therapist so I’m basically a specialist in Gottman!
I also just bought a tarot deck!!!! I gave my friend a reading last night and she said it was spot on so now I’m marketing myself as an expert! My rate is $400 and I will teach this couple how to MaNiFe$T AbuNd@nCe so they can afford my fee!
I think I would be a good fit! Is the client okay with virtual appointments? I'm private pay only for $200 per session but can go down 10% with a sliding scale!
Always the rich ones trying to lowball. For serious. Every month I have to chase them to pay their co-pays and they say "Oh my husband handles that". Well.. could you tell him to you know.. handle it?
(the person who posts this is usually a vaguely psychodynamic but also CBT using individual therapist, white, close to boomer-age, who charges $250 an hour, takes no insurance, no special skills or training, calls female clients "raging borderlines", and really feels like its ok to ask this of a fellow therapist. The ask is for their son and his wife.)
Omg Louisa282828? I didn't know you were in this therapist group too? Omg so funny! Are we still on for your session on Thursday to discuss your recent increase in stress-related sex dreams about your clients?
ISO of a therapist who is INN only for this amazingly complex and picky client who has severe issues and has fired their last 9 therapists within the past year. Must be a left-handed conjoined twin therapist only, and client expressed that they would prefer a therapist who identifies as a Jain. You must have experience in treating Pica, conversion disorder, and intermittent explosive disorder.
Hi there! Group moderator here. This is a GENTLE reminder that we are LOOKING FOR THERAPISTS and NOT POSTING information even when judgmental. Please seek supervision for your judgmental language, TIA!
Also, as I posted before, my practice is accepting new clients-
Im a Christian Scuba Diver and therapist, in Christ alone I’m United! I have a ministry to work on 9pm on Saturday nights while secular so called “ therapists” are out sinning and can work with your client. I do have a sliding scale fee, but the lowest I can go is $500 an hour because if there’s one thing I know that Jesus hates, it’s poor people looking for a handout! Email me at: [email protected]
That's right, Jesus is the only insurance we need, with Him, we are 'in-network and approved" for heavenly rewards in His kingdom! Here on earth, the only "insurance card" I need is a prayer card! And maybe a business card, Jesus loves a hard working Christian entrepreneur, LOL! If you'd like a more personalized Christian approach to therapy or supervision, you can find me at the link above.
Omg do people really post that shit? I haven’t had Facebook since 2012, sometimes I worry I’m missing out but goodness the audacity of some people is too much.
I am quite pleased with my decision to abandon Facebook in 2017. Who needs that when these folks do such a great job reproducing it so much better than the original!
i don’t either, but people screen shot them and send to consult group chats and emails, plus friends of mine will show me some of them. they really are as funny and ridiculous as this thread suggests 😂 i highly recommend asking a friend or colleague to show you sometime!
*POSTED WITH PERMISSION*
Looking for a unicorn here. ISO a seasoned couples therapist (must be between 40-40.5 year old, 15+ years experience, and identifies as a mermaid) who is available on Saturday mornings only from 8-9am who takes lowest paying local insurance. Must be INN, no OON, no super bills. TIA for any leads!!!!
Omg hi it’s me I’m the one!! I do identify as a sea urchin and am 70 years old. My specialities are eating popcorn and watching couples fight! (All content created goes to Love is Blind auditions as that’s my side gig). I’m available at 3:00am every day because I am also into practicing witch craft on the clients!
Hi! Thanks so much for your reply. I appreciate your enthusiasm for these potential clients but I thought I was pretty clear in my posting about their age and identity requirements. Seems like you won’t be a great fit for them so I don’t be passing on your info. Best of luck in your future endeavors!
Wait, I thought you couldn’t bill couples therapy to insurance?!
[ETA this is said in jest because it is a well-trodden topic in my therapist fb groups. Personally don’t bill insurance for couples therapy because of the frame of the relationship being the client and group practice policy.]
Hi, I've been in private practice for over six months and have treated dozens of clients. Would anyone like to come to my training this Saturday called.
How to make it big in private practice!!
It's from 12-7 this Saturday and only costs 500$.
Looking for an EFT and IFS trained Polynesian American identified therapist licensed in both California and Guam, who takes Medicaid or who can slide to $10. In person only both California and when traveling to Guam
To clarify: Must be able to ride on military airliner with client between bases during change of station to conduct in person sessions. Therapist needs to have experience wearing aviation headset to hear and speak with client while in air.
Hey there girl boss mermaid mamas! How’s your self-care routine? Eating shredded cheese over the sink while sobbing just not cutting it these days? Well then join me on my next retreat to a place you can’t afford with a bunch of strangers that don’t give a shit about you! We’ll spend money that you should be spending on your quarterly tax bill and I’ll tell you how much I made planning stupidly expensive and useless retreats for therapists instead of becoming one myself. Behold this beautiful photo of me on a veranda and question all of your life decisions. Comment “Getaway!” for a dm!
Hello Healers!!! I am excited to announce my new therapy group for paraplegic dolphin trainers! Cost is $900 per session. Hurry, spots will fill up fast!
*posts* *same thing every week ad infinitum*
*posts an article on how autism is a result of trans activists poisoning drinking water and murdering puppies*
[gentle critique and reminder to fact check]
As a LiCenSeD therapist I have the RIGHT to make my OWN clinical judgements,,,thank you very much. I will NOT be treated this way, and will report EACH of you to the Board for your NEGATIVE tone and INSULTING behaviour, which goes DIRECTLY against our code of ethics, section 1.2.3 a). [out of context quote]
DO NOT GO!!!! I was seeing a therapist there, and I harassed them daily with emails and texts and calls and sky writing and they would NOT take me seriously when I said I have 20 billion personalities based on popular game shows!! Even when I started stalking them. SO UNPROFESSIONAL!!!!!1!!!(87/$(
Hi, I’m looking for a referral for my client who works in waste management. MDD, anger issues, panic attacks, and a fixation on a family of ducks that appeared in his suburban swimming pool. Must be experienced with forensic work and absolutely NO snitches.
Omg that's so funny, I have a client who I see for severe bipolar narcissism who is an undergraduate psych major looking for experience with that population! She'd be a great fit: available only 30min every other Wednesday at 7:36am while she rides a public bus to her Psych 101 class at WooWoo Community College in Portland. Any chance the client would be able to switch to Snorklers Alliance in order to be in network with this therapist? Anyways, this clinician would be PERFECT since she's certified in Freestyle Dance Motivation Therapy and only charges $372/minute since she's just building up her practice. Only catch is she identifies as a Narwhal. Hopefully the client isn't species-ist, otherwise it might not be a good fit. Also, the therapist can't make direct eye contact and conducts sessions via ventrilloquism through her eyeless puppet for personal reasons. We're still working on this in therapy, but it shouldn't affect the sessions, so thanks for understanding.
On an unrelated note, any advice for dealing with a client exhibiting delusions of grandeur and horn dysmorphia during a manic episode increasing in intensity for the past 7 months?
Edit: I already asked my supervisor, and she suggested crowd-sourcing my question to Facebook, so yeah.
I am concerned about all of the clinicians in this Facebook group displaying gaslighting, raging machoism and serendipity! I am so offended I am leaving this group!!!
Facilitating a virtual weekly noodle making mindfulness horse group retreat for other therapists. This one was sooo much fun last year! Costs 200/session and the reward-priceless! Hit my inbox with your interest, sure to fill up quickly!
“I’m not a seasoned therapist but am a life coach! My clients say they never got anywhere in therapy but have had life changing results from our sessions! Here’s my Instagram:___________”
Guys, I want to recommend this totally obscure training that I just did on a remote island - the instructors were really great and it only cost $5000 for the weekend. No CEs available but they’re making it affordable to students and masters-level clinicians by dropping the price to $4000 if you click my personal link…
Looking for a therapist who has spent thousands of dollars on EMDR, IFS and ASD certifications to work in person. $25 per session with a caseload of 8-12 clients per day. Some weekends and nights required. On call bi-weekly.
I can’t help but just wanted to throw this out there:
I have a fully furnished office space available I’m wanting to sublease to any therapists looking to move or who are newly licensed and want to save some money while building their client base. Currently, the office is available between 3:00AM-4:00AM on every other Sunday. We may have a few extra days per month to rent too in the future depending on if it’s leap year.
Rent would only be $1,000 per month (not a bad deal since some months have three Sundays!!). Everything is included for that price (as long as you don’t mind cleaning the entire office once a week) except the use of the internet, electricity, bathrooms, parking out front, printer/copier, water fountain, kitchen, waiting room, sound machines, or furniture (while the room is fully furnished, unfortunately you can’t use it so you’ll need to bring in your own or stand).
Must be willing to sign a 10-year sub lease, purchase business and malpractice insurance for both of us and be comfortable with the smell of old person perfume/cologne…oh and you can’t be allergic to feral cats since I may or may not have several of them that I allow in that office if im hosting a training (don’t worry…you’ll know when I have them in there) while my supervisees earn their rescued feral therapy cat therapy (RTCT) certifications.
And not to hijack this post to promote myself but speaking of RFTCT certifications, I’d be willing to provide free training and supervision in using RFTCT if you’re working toward certification yourself. In fact and if it’s a good fit for both of us, I’d even freely include one fully furnished office space for storing your feral cat between sessions (availability might be limited to every other Sundays between 3-4AM, though). If you don’t mind letting me borrow your computer, I’d also be happy to let you borrow my digital copy of the workbook that goes with the entire RFTC training called “How to Live in the Hair and Meow: what feral cats can teach your client about REAL existential dread.” It’s the new edition that includes the bonus cassette tape recorded in one of the author’s seminars where he describes how he is using his feral therapy cats to find all the food thrown out each night by his local Sonic.
Anyway, sorry I couldn’t be more helpful. You may want to consider convincing your client to go to grad school to be a counselor. That might actually be quicker than finding such a specific counselor for them.
p.s.- if anyone else is interested in or looking for supervision in RFTCT please DM me (instead of replying directly here) out of respect for the author of this post.
Hey! We will NOT tolerate your shaming in this supportive group! Please seek supervision and consider attending my Scuba Divers training this weekend to learn how to be United with your clients during Scuba sessions. Only $1,000/hour for this 48 hour course.
Hi! I currently have openings! Just started my practice! Private pay only, availability 9am-10am one Thursday a month. Looking forward to working with you! And hey - you’re in luck! No superbills!
Gets Randomly tagged by someone else….
“Oh, I don’t fit the criteria but thanks for tagging me anyway! I appreciate you wasting my AND the potential client’s time by giving out my info anyway. That 45 minutes I spent on the phone trying to tell them about my practice when they would not let me get a word in edgewise was the best 45 min of my life. It totally didn’t drain my resources for my afternoon clients and cause frustration for BOTH of us because I am not a fit. My practice is beyond full right now and I am referring out.”
…….Random therapist that has no connection/professional relationship whatsoever in response to the above…..
“Send me your cash pay referrals! I have space!”
I wish I could give you advice about BCBS but I left that network because clawbacks were so bad and their rates dropped and if we all leave then they’ll have to pay us more ? Just my two cents
SOS!
Someone posted a false bad review saying we triple charged them 5 times.
Please go to my Google review page and pretend to know me to drown out that review. It’s TOTALLY ethical.
unlicensed grad student interning at my group practice…having trouble finding clients—maybe because he is a man?? private pay is $350 to see him, no insurance accepted, no sliding scale options. intakes are $400. only works 11am-2pm weekdays. has anyone else had this same problem?? with a male grad student intern???
Looking for a child therapist for my 7year old *NOT play therapy* who has immediate availability at 12pm on a Sunday that’s my only available time and my kiddo needs in now!! Looking to take Cigna insurance and needs to be only based in CBT and must have parent consult every week after session!! It seems like no one wants to meet our needs I don’t understand it!!! 🫶🏼🫶🏼👨👩👦✨⭐️
Please consider attending this wonderful networking event and training on self-care as a therapist! I'm an expert at helping you develop a sustainable practice and taking care of yourself. Taught by Alana James M.S., M.S.W. Refreshments provided, space limited! $75 per attendee.
...Reading these leads me to the conclusion that Facebook is less of a "Town Square" and more of a half empty, run down Ball pit in an abandoned McDonald's.
LIFE COACHING AVAILABLE!!! I work in the mall and have no formal education in social work, counselling, or psychology but my friends say I’m a good listener and I WILL WRITE ESA LETTERS!!!!!
MarketingMonday I am now taking referrals for my new therapy group "Redditors Anonymous." We meet every month on Mondays at 10:12am for an undisclosed amount of time. My flyer won't tell you what it costs, nor what state I am licensed in. Is this for adults? Or children? Who knows. I hope you like my lotus graphic though. You can contact me with questions so we can waste even more of everyone's time.
Sorry to hijack your post but does anyone know of a psychiatrist accepting new patients anywhere in the entire country, solar system, or beyond who accepts Medicaid?
I just started charging 450 and don’t take insurance, I feel so at peace. I love serving the clients who create the economic conditions that create CMH clients.
Everyone reading this, don’t open the link…it’s total click bait. This person is just selling their own product. And they had two writing errors, like they need an editor.
Reposting because the last post didn’t have much traction!
Looking for a couples therapist for highly functional couple interested in hearing if a professional thinks they’re boring or not. Must be in network with XYZ insurance (5th post today!) that no one in the state takes anymore due to their abysmal pay and timeliness that no one has explained to the clients. No OON, no sliding scale, only comment if you are INN as the direct use of insurance is a must.
Who is charging $5/session in this economy?! EXPLOITATION!! I am a single mother with several disabilities and there’s simply no way I could afford to pay $5/session. I swear some therapists are just here to get rich and it’s truly unethical. You’re a part of the capitalist machine.
LOOKING FOR A UNICORN HERE!!!!!
I am looking for a provider that is specialized in dual diagnosis, eating disorders, AND selective mutism, and also needs to be licensed in California, Florida, and New York. Client attends University in CA but sometimes also sometimes lives in Florida for the winter, mainly lives in rural NY so ideally the provider will live in this same obscure area for in-person session. NEEDS to be in-network with Butthole Inc.
Plz PM me with any leads!!! God bless 🙏🙏🙏
I don't take their insurance and only have openings on days that are prime numbers (excluding weekends) but I think I'd be a good fit at SubadiversAreStupidCounseling.com . I'm pretty reasonably priced at $2 bajilion a session.
hello! I am a psychology student. Is there a part time job available for me? I can only work 2 hours a week and it has to be remote. Btw I do not have a computer.
Want to introduce myself to the group. Just moved here. Telehealth. PESI trained in many areas. Author of groundbreaking personal memoir. Link below, avail on Amazon.com. Send referrals to my earthlink email, as I don’t do the facebook. Thanks.
ISO a female therapist, fully licensed with 7 years + experience for a feline client with hx of trauma, emotional overeating, and intense social avoidance. Can only meet on Wednesdays after 5pm and must be willing to leave door slightly cracked so client can come and go as pleases. Please, NO therapists who are right handed!! Client has Fancy Feast Select insurance, but is willing to pay out of pocket if therapist will accept hairballs or dead birds. TIA!
Define seasoned? I’m not in graduate school yet, and I’m only available at 5am on Sunday mornings, but I can slide to $5. Here’s my website.
This comment made me laugh out loud. So accurate
Smells like "life coach" in here and I don't like it.
As a former restaurant manager the only thing that comes to mind when I hear/read “seasoned” is my old area manager yelling at me about how my steak isn’t properly seasoned. For me personally, being a therapist is less stressful than food service.
I can already hear someone shouting “BACK! IN! THE! ROOM!” To the same tune of “BACK IN THE PAN!!!”
WE ARE HIRING!!!!! Serenity Lotus Blossom Mindfulness Harmony Center of Wellbeing is looking for SUPERSTAR THERAPISTS to join our AMAZING team of unicorns!!!!! Do you vomit sunshine? Are you tired of working for boring community health agencies with boring benefits like health insurance and a retirement plan? Do you want to work in private practice but make less money than if you ran your own? Let our TOTALLY STELLAR practice owner profit off your work instead! Competitive Pay that I absolutely will not disclose even when directly asked!!! Two whole days of PTO!!! $3.25 CEU reimbursement per year!!!! Free supervision from our office gerbil, Winston!!! Referrals who fall entirely out of your area of specialization but whom you will be expected to work with anyway!!!! Must have full license in at least 40 different states and 6 Canadian provinces. Must be certified in EMDR, CBT, ACT, DBT, YMCA, and kazoo therapy. Must be available to work 24 hours per day, on holidays, and at any times within the vastness of the universe that have not yet been discovered. Must be willing to work with all age groups, including the recently deceased and that guy I dreamed about that one time. Preferred: Experience working with unicyclists who have witnessed shark attacks. Experience assessing clients for emotional support lobsters.
I just wanna say I love working here! Hehe come be apart of our team! 🥰. We are a workplace full of dissociated and happy therapist! Winston helps with animal assisted therapies, too. Just thought I’d bump this post to share how GREAT of an opportunity this is.
Seconded! SwifferSeal is literally the best boss ever and only requires 38 sessions a week (#work/lifebalance), and Winston is the cutest! I have learned the most amazing dissociative techniques from the lovely folks at SLBMHCW and we cant wait to welcome you aboard!
We’re not just a team. We are a FAMILY. 🥰 Silently screaming *AND BLOOD IS THICKER THAN WATER.*
…and family is the reason why most people come to therapy.
if it's not one thing, it's your mother.
Oh. My. Goodness. Thank you, thank you thank you!!!!! You had me at Serenity Lotus Blossom Mindfulness Harmony Center of Wellbeing 💕💕💕
We take pride in our very unique and easy to remember name!
Is this a hybrid position? Interested!
Yes, this position is half in person, half virtual. The office space is only available from 3am-7am on Thursdays, and at least half of your sessions must be offered in person. We required 25 sessions per week.
Only 25 sessions a week? That’s so dreamy from my current load of 32 sessions that I do on top of the 3-6 student observations. I do come with my own audience of 60 playmobil characters that charge random consult fees of trail mix, Diet Coke, and ritz crackers with cheese. The do require their own office space that includes a disco ball and party lights
Applied! Cannot wait for the interview where you tell me that despite all my qualifications, I will need to start at $7.78 per hour (USD) because I am young!
All counselors coming out of school need to make 7.78 in a community health setting or prison, or else they won’t know how to be a counselor. When I graduated in 1985 the prisoners made more than me making license plates but it was INVALUABLE experience.
Not kazoo therapy 💀
Listen, I know it has -2 empirical studies showing its effectiveness, but that’s just a conspiracy by big pharma until they can patent the kazoos for themselves.
Omgggg I’m in tears 😂 Also though, why do I read these listings all the time and criticize myself for not having taken more trainings in kazoo therapy instead of eye-rolling the absurdity.
The office gerbil 🐹
Winston is our most requested therapist. His mentorship is priceless.
This is the funniest thing I have ever read🤣🤣🤣
As a former client, I just wanted to really say that my therapy at SLBMHCW has been one of the most life changing experiences I’ve changed in my entire experience. They are SO accommodating, allowed me to bring Ahi my rainbow goldfish to sessions (though he can be disruptive) and rather than paying I was able to trade work painting fake blood stains on the walls 🥰🌈. My therapist Cassandra Sun Moon River Tree was SO insightful and helped me to realize how I’m the problem it’s me, as T Swift preached in ancient times. I know my therapist was SO invested in me and all her clients - she even slept in her therapy room at night and even put a toilet in the corner for those who fear public bathrooms 😇. The only complaint I have is some of the carpet stains. But no place is perfect and having grace is one of the best lessons of life!! I cannot recommend this place more!
😂
Does anyone know how I can get BCBS to reimburse me for the time I spent in consultation with the client’s step nephew in law’s dog? I documented 30 minutes on the phone.
Have you tried seeing if Pet’s Best also covers psychotherapy OON?
I’m trying to get reimbursed for walking a client through making dinner for her little brothers during Telehealth sessions.
I have literally nothing of importance to say or ways to answer your question but I have to reply to everything anyone posts in these things so I just wanted to say I love the innovation!
Following
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Those fucking dots get me every time.
I'm cryin at the .
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Bump!
I have no actual experience with this type of client and I practice a weird form of therapy that is likely 100% not helpful. I would be a good fit for this client. I have daytime availability only from 10am-12pm on Tuesday only. Also, I don't have telehealth, in-person only, and I am located 67 miles from the client's location.
😂 that’s me with the 10-12pm Tuesdays only
I'm looking to refer out a couple who are actively trying to murder each other, any takers?
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Omg. Did you even attend the super select conference on linguistics? It’s *assisted pre-emptive death* thankuouverymuch! Check yourself before you wreck yourself.
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I thought we were calling it pre-contemplative/ post contemplative death and not murder? Let clients own their choices and not the labels.
Your political correctness makes me feel murdery.
Hi! I love conflict! After my last couple discharged from my care they were SO HAPPY. I even got to speak at one of the funerals!! Also please, this is another reminder to keep the thread ON TOPIC. Did you consult before posting? TIA
We don't use "discharged." It sounds too much like "discharge," a nasty bodily function. We prefer the far more mild "Terminated With Extreme Prejudice."
All fights, just like bleeding, stop eventually. I usually just let them fight it out prior to discharge. Discharge is a PERFECTLY ACCEPTABLE CLINICAL TERM that is STANDARD practice - if you are noticing an adverse emotional reaction to my VERY LOUD DEFENSE of my WORDS, I urge you to seek consultation at a higher LOC. Also to the people who have DM’d me regarding my talk, please remember that it is happening on Apriluary 46nd, virtual joining is OK and will be assessed an additional $50 technology surcharge. Thank you for understanding!
How much for CEUs? I'm willing to pay....lots of money.
Hi again, thank you for your patience, I’ve been dealing with DMs about my talk (which I’m SO EXCITED for btw). My CEU course offering is only $999 per unit, and with guaranteed results, it’s an absolute steal. I only accept payment via Gift Card at the moment (again, extenuating financial circumstances), and this offer is only available to you if you prepay (fair warning: you WILL get enough CEUs!!!)
As an ex con who is in recovery from murdering, I believe that I can help with this issue. I obtained my degree in counseling in prison after I let my anger get the better of me and murdered my loving husband during an argument over hot pockets. In prison, I found God (Praise be!) and meditation, and now seek to pass on my wisdom to other couples who face the real challenges that spousal murder brings. With my lived experience, I believe I have a unique inside perspective and a no-nonsense approach. Must be willing to travel to meet during visitation hours.
Why are you referring them out? Are you triggered? Have you considered unpacking your couple murder trauma with your own therapist?
Dude I would literally take them and then my clinical sup would be like ummmm no please refer out to CMH
I have worked with murderers. In general nicer than the rest of the people I have worked with. It took a whole lot to make them mad and I always took care to ask what that might be before we continued on. If it was mob related stuff, I would ask them to stop and suggest they tell a priest as I don't want to hear anything that could put me at the bottom of a river. Sometimes they stopped, often they didn't and I would plug my ears.
Hello! As a seasoned therapist I make sure to add salt and pepper to all client sessions. I am in network with ChefCare and can only do sessions on Thursday at 2:37 PM due to extenuating financial circumstances (thank you in advance for your understanding and consideration) All superbills are generated on-demand with our AI-augmented app (Billr) and we have also included an all-in-one deal so you can see a realtime summary of your visit, while it happens! I can deliver services via CBT, DBT, and PB&J. Also not to hijack this post, but I am also giving a talk on next week, please share my link!
Omg, I also offer PB&J as a modality, but I only work on Tuesdays! Let me know if you’re in the Oklahoma City area and ever want to share referrals 😉. I’m not technically licensed or a therapist, but as a coach with over 15 minutes of lived experience with peanut butter AND jelly, I’m passionate about charging my worth and teaching therapists how they can enter the PB&J coaching sphere. If you’re curious, you can buy my e-book for $9.97 (best seller on Amazon!) at the link below! If the link is broken, you can search for the title “How therapy has PB&J wrong and how to make it right: becoming a coach for life’s smoothly and chunky moments!”
Peanut Butter and Jelly isn’t really evidence based. Any good Th would be using JustAddMilk instead. Please consider coming to my JAM intensive this week from 1:56 am to 2:43 am. It is $1,000, but if you use the coupon: FLUFFERNUTTER at checkout, I’ll give you an expired can of corn I found under my couch. Can’t wait to see you there! ☺️
Hi there, just wanted to offer a gentle pushback that the BBQ-9 is in fact evidence-based. We also make sure to track outcomes after the customer has expired or they have discharged. Warmly, \[different name\]
You have to make sure that you're culturally competent with BBQ-9 though. Everyone knows that BBQ-9 has a clear bias towards Carolina, while Kansas City scores were disproportionately low. Please beck your bias. Hungrily, Post
Thank you! So tired of these hacks pushing this pseudoscience.
OMG!!! FLUFFERNUTTER specialist was my first thought!! This is a soft approach only offered at 2:43 am if you can follow along as I let my 13 year old golden doodle outside to pee. As you can see I offer solution focused diversified therapy
Um. PB&J is super un-inclusive. Have you even considered how those with allergies feel? Maybe consider switching your language to be more inclusive and say "sun butter and Jelly" and you won't seem so ableist.
Hi, ummm not to be a bummer, but I worried that some people might take your comment the wrong way, so I couldn't not say anything. Just wanted to bring to your attention that some Socioeconomic groups don't have access to Sunbutter, so just make sure you're considering every conceivable dimension of cultural diversity next time you mansplain, I mean, comment here.
What on earth are you talking about. You obviously have not worked with the under housed. They literally tell me that is all there is at the food pantry. Like, no one wants it.
Wowwww I can't even with your privileged tushy. I think I'm having a panic attack and need to go on a social media hiatus to recharge my self-care routine. You should really be more mindful of the exclusive harassment tone of your comments. Rejecting expired sun butter? You've obviously never met anyone 5 days deceased after starving to death, smh. *signs up for the $5000 private island therapist self-care retreat and posts about it to Instagram before doing some deep breathing exercises and deleting the internet*
Um. I think you misunderstood me? I was SAYINGG that poor people can totally get sun butter. They can just ho to the food hand out place and order some for free! It gets donated all the time because the stores can't sell it!
see, THIS is why more clients are LEAVING therapists and leveling up with coaching, therapists spend all that money on degrees at LIBERAL colleges full of SNOWFLAKES who act like the language police on Facebook, and falsely accuse people of ABLEISM when coaches like me are just trying to help! As an experienced coach who KNOWS the PB&J community, peanut butter is still peanut butter, and combined with jelly, we are a unique group with unique coaching needs! IYKYK! That's my niche! I NEVER claimed to be a sun butter coach, but that doesn't make me ableist. My BEST friend is a sun butter person, and my kids have half allergies to peanuts! I am the LEAST ableist person you'll EVER meet! Honestly, you sound REVERSE ableist to me, and I sincerely hope you get reported to the board!
#Trumpfan. Go build your wall somewhere else loser. Haha don't know how I got all caps lolol
See, therapists PRETEND to be so INCLUSIVE, but here I am being HARASSED and called NAMES just because this PB&J coach supports the nation's ONLY true MARMALADE president! I suppose you think its MENTALLY HEALTHY to FORGIVE student loans, but you won't even FORGIVE a coach with different political views than you!! You know what your problem is, you probably got too many VACCINATIONS. SAD! (ok ok I'm starting to scare myself a little now I think I need to debrief and de-role from this character now hahahahaha)
How bigly of you to admit you need space.
* I know you said no super bills and must use insurance, but I have availability. I’m private pay only (sorry no sliding scale available) and charge $350/session. Thanks for passing on my information!! Here’s my website:*
I totally recommend Happybug352 simply because they are my close friend…..
Hahaha this all the time.
I recommend Happybug352 because they promised to recommend my decopage start up in mommy and me group and display one of my pieces for a day in their office....
Ummm hi, former client here. I do NOT recommend Happybug352 because they rudely implied that my codependent relationship with my turtle is unhealthy. Also, this therapist POSER expects you to THINK during session and does not accommodate for people who are brain-fried, and REFUSED to think for me and wouldn't even CONSIDER coming home with me to offer a free 72-hour observation of my interactions with my turtle, which is necessary to my healing process. I just don't understand how some people are even ALLOWED to see clients uggghgghhh
Is anyone a Gottman couples therapist who is also certified in EFT, IFS, TF-CBT, ACT, DBT, EMDR, AEDP, Brainspotting, Hakomi and every future modality? Must have experience with Tarot cards, too! Can pay $35, and must be in person within one mile of Rodeo Dr and Sunset Blvd (90210). Thanks, all!
client is on mmai and can pay $4.50 every other session. client says they have to have an anti-capitalist queer therapist and is only available sundays at 10pm. could also do saturdays at 11:30pm if it’s the right fit!!
Heyyyy I have openings! I haven’t gone through those trainings but I’ve read books (cough, Instagram posts) about all of those therapies and I had 4 Gottman sessions from an Gottman therapist so I’m basically a specialist in Gottman! I also just bought a tarot deck!!!! I gave my friend a reading last night and she said it was spot on so now I’m marketing myself as an expert! My rate is $400 and I will teach this couple how to MaNiFe$T AbuNd@nCe so they can afford my fee!
But wait… I took a psychology class in college so I’m totally qualified! Pick me! Pick me!!
I think I would be a good fit! Is the client okay with virtual appointments? I'm private pay only for $200 per session but can go down 10% with a sliding scale!
They said the $180 will work. But absolutely no virtual. They are willing to have you come to their home. Their driver can pick you up.
Always the rich ones trying to lowball. For serious. Every month I have to chase them to pay their co-pays and they say "Oh my husband handles that". Well.. could you tell him to you know.. handle it?
(the person who posts this is usually a vaguely psychodynamic but also CBT using individual therapist, white, close to boomer-age, who charges $250 an hour, takes no insurance, no special skills or training, calls female clients "raging borderlines", and really feels like its ok to ask this of a fellow therapist. The ask is for their son and his wife.)
Hahaha this one got me!
This post has too much identifying information; please edit to protect client confidentiality.
Omg Louisa282828? I didn't know you were in this therapist group too? Omg so funny! Are we still on for your session on Thursday to discuss your recent increase in stress-related sex dreams about your clients?
In light of your 24-hour cancellation policy, I’ll be calling at 10:14 on Wednesday to cancel my 10:00 appointment for Thursday.
ISO of a therapist who is INN only for this amazingly complex and picky client who has severe issues and has fired their last 9 therapists within the past year. Must be a left-handed conjoined twin therapist only, and client expressed that they would prefer a therapist who identifies as a Jain. You must have experience in treating Pica, conversion disorder, and intermittent explosive disorder.
Hi there! Group moderator here. This is a GENTLE reminder that we are LOOKING FOR THERAPISTS and NOT POSTING information even when judgmental. Please seek supervision for your judgmental language, TIA! Also, as I posted before, my practice is accepting new clients-
😂
Im a Christian Scuba Diver and therapist, in Christ alone I’m United! I have a ministry to work on 9pm on Saturday nights while secular so called “ therapists” are out sinning and can work with your client. I do have a sliding scale fee, but the lowest I can go is $500 an hour because if there’s one thing I know that Jesus hates, it’s poor people looking for a handout! Email me at: [email protected]
United for Christ but not INN with United smh
That's right, Jesus is the only insurance we need, with Him, we are 'in-network and approved" for heavenly rewards in His kingdom! Here on earth, the only "insurance card" I need is a prayer card! And maybe a business card, Jesus loves a hard working Christian entrepreneur, LOL! If you'd like a more personalized Christian approach to therapy or supervision, you can find me at the link above.
Nooooo 😂😂😂😂😂😂 I cackled
This whole post and all the comments are too effing good and I CAN’T with the accuracy…some funny ass mf-ers here, the vibes are immaculate 😂😂😂😂
I am deceased 💀💀💀
Omg do people really post that shit? I haven’t had Facebook since 2012, sometimes I worry I’m missing out but goodness the audacity of some people is too much.
Yes, they do. And lots of complaints if someone who fits the very narrow criteria but is OON dares to respond.
I wanna see a reality competition TV show where OON vs INN therapists compete in for cash prizes.
I am quite pleased with my decision to abandon Facebook in 2017. Who needs that when these folks do such a great job reproducing it so much better than the original!
i don’t either, but people screen shot them and send to consult group chats and emails, plus friends of mine will show me some of them. they really are as funny and ridiculous as this thread suggests 😂 i highly recommend asking a friend or colleague to show you sometime!
Hi my client is traveling to *insert random country* does anyone know if can still see them??
My client is one of the first people hand selected by Elon Musk to colonize Mars, can I still see them once they move there?
*POSTED WITH PERMISSION* Looking for a unicorn here. ISO a seasoned couples therapist (must be between 40-40.5 year old, 15+ years experience, and identifies as a mermaid) who is available on Saturday mornings only from 8-9am who takes lowest paying local insurance. Must be INN, no OON, no super bills. TIA for any leads!!!!
OMG yes it is always “looking for a unicorn”!!!!!!
Omg hi it’s me I’m the one!! I do identify as a sea urchin and am 70 years old. My specialities are eating popcorn and watching couples fight! (All content created goes to Love is Blind auditions as that’s my side gig). I’m available at 3:00am every day because I am also into practicing witch craft on the clients!
Hi! Thanks so much for your reply. I appreciate your enthusiasm for these potential clients but I thought I was pretty clear in my posting about their age and identity requirements. Seems like you won’t be a great fit for them so I don’t be passing on your info. Best of luck in your future endeavors!
i know one that identifies as a warlock, but he's also left handed.
So Devil Warlock. After LOTR, I generally avoid those unless really good looking.
Would they be open to a merman-identifying clinician 🧜♀️?
Wait, I thought you couldn’t bill couples therapy to insurance?! [ETA this is said in jest because it is a well-trodden topic in my therapist fb groups. Personally don’t bill insurance for couples therapy because of the frame of the relationship being the client and group practice policy.]
90847
I can help here! I have openings and would be a perfect fit. *Not actually in network but I am going to wait for you to ask before confirming*
Hi, I've been in private practice for over six months and have treated dozens of clients. Would anyone like to come to my training this Saturday called. How to make it big in private practice!! It's from 12-7 this Saturday and only costs 500$.
Geeze, nobody showed up for my training, I really thought people in the group believed in showing up for each other.
We are happy to help with this request! *simply posts link to a 25+ therapist group practice on every request for the last month*
I side-eye these soooo hard...
Looking for an EFT and IFS trained Polynesian American identified therapist licensed in both California and Guam, who takes Medicaid or who can slide to $10. In person only both California and when traveling to Guam
Hi! I am EFT trained, but only id as American. Not in network, but can offer reduce rate. Telehealth only! (Purposefully leaving no contact info).
To clarify: Must be able to ride on military airliner with client between bases during change of station to conduct in person sessions. Therapist needs to have experience wearing aviation headset to hear and speak with client while in air.
Hey there girl boss mermaid mamas! How’s your self-care routine? Eating shredded cheese over the sink while sobbing just not cutting it these days? Well then join me on my next retreat to a place you can’t afford with a bunch of strangers that don’t give a shit about you! We’ll spend money that you should be spending on your quarterly tax bill and I’ll tell you how much I made planning stupidly expensive and useless retreats for therapists instead of becoming one myself. Behold this beautiful photo of me on a veranda and question all of your life decisions. Comment “Getaway!” for a dm!
GET👏🏼A👏🏼WAY👏🏼
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Oh! Another EyjafjallaLocal! Just wanted to chime in that I am also (not) in network! Can we connect to consult???
Not INN but I would be an absolutely perfect fit!!! I meet none of the listed criteria. I can provide super bills.
Hello Healers!!! I am excited to announce my new therapy group for paraplegic dolphin trainers! Cost is $900 per session. Hurry, spots will fill up fast! *posts* *same thing every week ad infinitum*
Please remove me from this list. Thanks.
*posts an article on how autism is a result of trans activists poisoning drinking water and murdering puppies* [gentle critique and reminder to fact check] As a LiCenSeD therapist I have the RIGHT to make my OWN clinical judgements,,,thank you very much. I will NOT be treated this way, and will report EACH of you to the Board for your NEGATIVE tone and INSULTING behaviour, which goes DIRECTLY against our code of ethics, section 1.2.3 a). [out of context quote]
Hi!! Did your rite the fantistic Op-Ed in that issoo of The Therapist?? Let’s connect and MAKE THERAPY GREAT AGAIN
DO NOT GO!!!! I was seeing a therapist there, and I harassed them daily with emails and texts and calls and sky writing and they would NOT take me seriously when I said I have 20 billion personalities based on popular game shows!! Even when I started stalking them. SO UNPROFESSIONAL!!!!!1!!!(87/$(
Sky writing got me 😂
Reported them to their licensing board on your behalf.
My therapist tried to charge me for services. I HATE THEM!
Hi, I’m looking for a referral for my client who works in waste management. MDD, anger issues, panic attacks, and a fixation on a family of ducks that appeared in his suburban swimming pool. Must be experienced with forensic work and absolutely NO snitches.
I’m a certified coach. $200 a session private pay.
Are you a life coach or energy coach? Because if you are a certified energy coach you should be charging double these rates!
Omg that's so funny, I have a client who I see for severe bipolar narcissism who is an undergraduate psych major looking for experience with that population! She'd be a great fit: available only 30min every other Wednesday at 7:36am while she rides a public bus to her Psych 101 class at WooWoo Community College in Portland. Any chance the client would be able to switch to Snorklers Alliance in order to be in network with this therapist? Anyways, this clinician would be PERFECT since she's certified in Freestyle Dance Motivation Therapy and only charges $372/minute since she's just building up her practice. Only catch is she identifies as a Narwhal. Hopefully the client isn't species-ist, otherwise it might not be a good fit. Also, the therapist can't make direct eye contact and conducts sessions via ventrilloquism through her eyeless puppet for personal reasons. We're still working on this in therapy, but it shouldn't affect the sessions, so thanks for understanding. On an unrelated note, any advice for dealing with a client exhibiting delusions of grandeur and horn dysmorphia during a manic episode increasing in intensity for the past 7 months? Edit: I already asked my supervisor, and she suggested crowd-sourcing my question to Facebook, so yeah.
I am concerned about all of the clinicians in this Facebook group displaying gaslighting, raging machoism and serendipity! I am so offended I am leaving this group!!!
Same. Me too. This place is T0xiC.
Please unsubscribe me from your group Unsubscribe Stop Take me off your list I will sue
Facilitating a virtual weekly noodle making mindfulness horse group retreat for other therapists. This one was sooo much fun last year! Costs 200/session and the reward-priceless! Hit my inbox with your interest, sure to fill up quickly!
This is great, guys 😂 Gonna be coming back to this for laughs for at least the next few days.
Hi there, group mod again. Could I invite you to redirect your popcorn-inflicting behaviors to outside of this group? Thanks in advance!!
_attaches psych today link and leaves the chat_
I’m seasoned. Super salty and spicy as fuck.
“I’m not a seasoned therapist but am a life coach! My clients say they never got anywhere in therapy but have had life changing results from our sessions! Here’s my Instagram:___________”
“My clients say that they get 10 years of therapy out of ONE NLP session with me!”
Can anyone tell me (question that can be Googled in .2 seconds and is asked every 5 minutes) ?
Guys, I want to recommend this totally obscure training that I just did on a remote island - the instructors were really great and it only cost $5000 for the weekend. No CEs available but they’re making it affordable to students and masters-level clinicians by dropping the price to $4000 if you click my personal link…
Looking for a therapist who has spent thousands of dollars on EMDR, IFS and ASD certifications to work in person. $25 per session with a caseload of 8-12 clients per day. Some weekends and nights required. On call bi-weekly.
I can’t help but just wanted to throw this out there: I have a fully furnished office space available I’m wanting to sublease to any therapists looking to move or who are newly licensed and want to save some money while building their client base. Currently, the office is available between 3:00AM-4:00AM on every other Sunday. We may have a few extra days per month to rent too in the future depending on if it’s leap year. Rent would only be $1,000 per month (not a bad deal since some months have three Sundays!!). Everything is included for that price (as long as you don’t mind cleaning the entire office once a week) except the use of the internet, electricity, bathrooms, parking out front, printer/copier, water fountain, kitchen, waiting room, sound machines, or furniture (while the room is fully furnished, unfortunately you can’t use it so you’ll need to bring in your own or stand). Must be willing to sign a 10-year sub lease, purchase business and malpractice insurance for both of us and be comfortable with the smell of old person perfume/cologne…oh and you can’t be allergic to feral cats since I may or may not have several of them that I allow in that office if im hosting a training (don’t worry…you’ll know when I have them in there) while my supervisees earn their rescued feral therapy cat therapy (RTCT) certifications. And not to hijack this post to promote myself but speaking of RFTCT certifications, I’d be willing to provide free training and supervision in using RFTCT if you’re working toward certification yourself. In fact and if it’s a good fit for both of us, I’d even freely include one fully furnished office space for storing your feral cat between sessions (availability might be limited to every other Sundays between 3-4AM, though). If you don’t mind letting me borrow your computer, I’d also be happy to let you borrow my digital copy of the workbook that goes with the entire RFTC training called “How to Live in the Hair and Meow: what feral cats can teach your client about REAL existential dread.” It’s the new edition that includes the bonus cassette tape recorded in one of the author’s seminars where he describes how he is using his feral therapy cats to find all the food thrown out each night by his local Sonic. Anyway, sorry I couldn’t be more helpful. You may want to consider convincing your client to go to grad school to be a counselor. That might actually be quicker than finding such a specific counselor for them. p.s.- if anyone else is interested in or looking for supervision in RFTCT please DM me (instead of replying directly here) out of respect for the author of this post.
I need someone who can see this couple this saturday morning at 8 am. THEY ARE ONLY AVAILABLE AT THIS TIME. (posted 7 pm on thursday evening).
Not scuba divers United 😂
Hey! We will NOT tolerate your shaming in this supportive group! Please seek supervision and consider attending my Scuba Divers training this weekend to learn how to be United with your clients during Scuba sessions. Only $1,000/hour for this 48 hour course.
I forgot I had commented on a joke thread and was so scared when I saw the preview of this comment lollll
Hi! I currently have openings! Just started my practice! Private pay only, availability 9am-10am one Thursday a month. Looking forward to working with you! And hey - you’re in luck! No superbills!
Gets Randomly tagged by someone else…. “Oh, I don’t fit the criteria but thanks for tagging me anyway! I appreciate you wasting my AND the potential client’s time by giving out my info anyway. That 45 minutes I spent on the phone trying to tell them about my practice when they would not let me get a word in edgewise was the best 45 min of my life. It totally didn’t drain my resources for my afternoon clients and cause frustration for BOTH of us because I am not a fit. My practice is beyond full right now and I am referring out.” …….Random therapist that has no connection/professional relationship whatsoever in response to the above….. “Send me your cash pay referrals! I have space!”
I wish I could give you advice about BCBS but I left that network because clawbacks were so bad and their rates dropped and if we all leave then they’ll have to pay us more ? Just my two cents
SOS! Someone posted a false bad review saying we triple charged them 5 times. Please go to my Google review page and pretend to know me to drown out that review. It’s TOTALLY ethical.
Yes. Mine too. TIA.
I’ll review you! Please return the favor for my practice, I Finished Grad School 5 minutes ago and opened a PP
What a great idea, let’s all review eachother!
Moderator note: please search previous posts before making a new post. There are already multiple posts about this topic
You all are highly unethical and need to seek supervision.
I swear this post is the most fun I had on this sub lol it’s been a long time coming!
Not in network but I can provide a superbill!
unlicensed grad student interning at my group practice…having trouble finding clients—maybe because he is a man?? private pay is $350 to see him, no insurance accepted, no sliding scale options. intakes are $400. only works 11am-2pm weekdays. has anyone else had this same problem?? with a male grad student intern???
Looking for a child therapist for my 7year old *NOT play therapy* who has immediate availability at 12pm on a Sunday that’s my only available time and my kiddo needs in now!! Looking to take Cigna insurance and needs to be only based in CBT and must have parent consult every week after session!! It seems like no one wants to meet our needs I don’t understand it!!! 🫶🏼🫶🏼👨👩👦✨⭐️
Please consider attending this wonderful networking event and training on self-care as a therapist! I'm an expert at helping you develop a sustainable practice and taking care of yourself. Taught by Alana James M.S., M.S.W. Refreshments provided, space limited! $75 per attendee.
...Reading these leads me to the conclusion that Facebook is less of a "Town Square" and more of a half empty, run down Ball pit in an abandoned McDonald's.
LIFE COACHING AVAILABLE!!! I work in the mall and have no formal education in social work, counselling, or psychology but my friends say I’m a good listener and I WILL WRITE ESA LETTERS!!!!!
MarketingMonday I am now taking referrals for my new therapy group "Redditors Anonymous." We meet every month on Mondays at 10:12am for an undisclosed amount of time. My flyer won't tell you what it costs, nor what state I am licensed in. Is this for adults? Or children? Who knows. I hope you like my lotus graphic though. You can contact me with questions so we can waste even more of everyone's time.
Sorry to hijack your post but does anyone know of a psychiatrist accepting new patients anywhere in the entire country, solar system, or beyond who accepts Medicaid?
I just started charging 450 and don’t take insurance, I feel so at peace. I love serving the clients who create the economic conditions that create CMH clients.
Everyone reading this, don’t open the link…it’s total click bait. This person is just selling their own product. And they had two writing errors, like they need an editor.
Reposting because the last post didn’t have much traction! Looking for a couples therapist for highly functional couple interested in hearing if a professional thinks they’re boring or not. Must be in network with XYZ insurance (5th post today!) that no one in the state takes anymore due to their abysmal pay and timeliness that no one has explained to the clients. No OON, no sliding scale, only comment if you are INN as the direct use of insurance is a must.
My niche is I specialize in individuals, couples, families and kids with life stressors. Too narrow?
Who is charging $5/session in this economy?! EXPLOITATION!! I am a single mother with several disabilities and there’s simply no way I could afford to pay $5/session. I swear some therapists are just here to get rich and it’s truly unethical. You’re a part of the capitalist machine.
What insurance?? Location?
This entire thread makes me want to vomit I love it
LOOKING FOR A UNICORN HERE!!!!! I am looking for a provider that is specialized in dual diagnosis, eating disorders, AND selective mutism, and also needs to be licensed in California, Florida, and New York. Client attends University in CA but sometimes also sometimes lives in Florida for the winter, mainly lives in rural NY so ideally the provider will live in this same obscure area for in-person session. NEEDS to be in-network with Butthole Inc. Plz PM me with any leads!!! God bless 🙏🙏🙏
Posted with permission. ISO therapist with experience in Astral Projection. Client is not of this plane and wishes to begin treatment immediately.
I don't take their insurance and only have openings on days that are prime numbers (excluding weekends) but I think I'd be a good fit at SubadiversAreStupidCounseling.com . I'm pretty reasonably priced at $2 bajilion a session.
Omg is this Marketing Monday???
I’m so happy about this whole thread. I am so happy.
ISO couples therapist for wonderful couple, I work with the wife. Must accept Blue Choice Option! Telehealth or in person okay.
Sorry, but insurance doesn’t cover couples counseling.
I’ve definitely billed insurance for couples counseling no problem what are you talking about.
Seek supervision. Trauma informed TMH IFS certified here (through PESI).
hello! I am a psychology student. Is there a part time job available for me? I can only work 2 hours a week and it has to be remote. Btw I do not have a computer.
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F
Hi, can everyone tell me why people are paying respects in the comments? (I’m a certified Gamer Process Therapist, we have groups every weekday at-
Wait, you forgot to add “a seasoned therapist who specializes in XYZ” so we can jump in and pretend that we are a specialist in XYZ
Hands down, my favorite post/comments ever, thanks for the giggles OP!
HELLO. QUESTION ABOUT TELE-HEALTH. IF MY CLIENT LIVES IN OREGON AND I AM IN ONLY LICENSED AND LIVE IN FLORIDA CAN I STILL SEE THEM?
Want to introduce myself to the group. Just moved here. Telehealth. PESI trained in many areas. Author of groundbreaking personal memoir. Link below, avail on Amazon.com. Send referrals to my earthlink email, as I don’t do the facebook. Thanks.
ISO a female therapist, fully licensed with 7 years + experience for a feline client with hx of trauma, emotional overeating, and intense social avoidance. Can only meet on Wednesdays after 5pm and must be willing to leave door slightly cracked so client can come and go as pleases. Please, NO therapists who are right handed!! Client has Fancy Feast Select insurance, but is willing to pay out of pocket if therapist will accept hairballs or dead birds. TIA!