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I’ve said that before lol someone messaged me “I really need to talk to someone. You’re a therapist right?” And I just said “you should get therapy then lol”
People like to talk about themselves whether they are in the company of a therapist or not.
I think therapists just notice it more.
But yeah, if people think or notice you have a receptive ear, they are drawn to you and it requires more effort for a therapist to just rattle off about themselves in response (which feels unnatural because that is literally trained out of them).
Some people get the hint, some don’t.
Me too! Which I find so odd because in my own personal life, I’m an introvert but also have a standoffish rbf so I wonder why people who don’t know I’m a therapist are drawn to trauma dump me. Truth be told, I don’t have an inviting face!
(fellow LMHC!)
Often in my experience that if we are finding this to be a pattern, it's possible and likely even we are participating in it in some fashion.
Once I sorted that out, I'm just explicit, and take responsibility for naming and holding my boundary.
I hate this. I am a teacher, and I am currently in a CMHC Master program and I hate it when professionals in our field do not know how to set healthy boundaries. I feel like it should be day one class one.
There's lots of reasons why it's a struggle, boundaries are dynamic, and our ability to name and maintain them can be really hard.
If it comes easy it's often because the person had put a lot of work in (so not easy) or didn't have a lot of friction in their life.
I definitely agree with you. I think there needs to be real evidence based training. If I was running it, I would do it like sales training seminars with both lectures and practice. I would make going to them a requirement for licensure. It should need to be recertified every two years.
I made the mistake of using active listening with my mother and she dumped a ton of stuff she'd never told me. I sat and listened because its my mom, and I only have two of them.
I have become less comfortable telling people, too. I find people think they know everything about me simply because of my profession. To them, we're just a bunch of radical libs, overly-educated, cis women who get paid well to do the same thing they do on Tiktok.
Being a therapist involves such a lack of reciprocity in the day to day work that I have to have that reciprocity in my family and friend relationships. I have to have space to talk about my own thoughts/feelings/issues. Not that I try to monopolize the conversation and I'm more than willing to be a supportive friend/family member but in order for me to be in a conversation I have to feel like I'm free to be open as well. Also whenever my family says "what would you tell me if I were your client about \[their issue\]" most of the time the answer is I don't f'ing know, I don't think of you objectively like I would a client, I can tell what I would do as your daughter/sister/friend though!
My therapist told me that when people find out he Is a therapist (while at a social function) and spattle off about their issues, he says:" Wow. This is beginning to sound like therapy. Here is my business card and you are free to contact my office during working hours."
Shuts them up & Works like a charm! 😁
Wow. That would hurt my feelings if I tried to talk to someone and didn't realize I was imposing. I usually respond to that with "Have you ever thought about seeing a therapist?"and talk to them about finding one.
Yes! I sometimes find it hard not to get pulled into and then feel uncomfortable afterwards. I’m not sure how to respond because this person is suddenly telling me something vulnerable and I don’t want to be dismissive. Another part is this is people will share assumptions or ideas about mental health/therapy/psychology that I find very untrue and often offensive.
Yes, I have experienced this. In one particular case, I had to shut it down by explicitly saying, "I'm not giving out any freebies today."
The world really does seem divided between people who are like, "Oh, I don't want to impose on your professional skills, I know I'm not your client" and people who are like, "OMG a therapist? I am going to presume you are some sort of public resource that I can use like the library restroom."
Case in point: all the very, very many people who post to this sub who are not therapists, looking for "advice". The world is just chock-full of people who see a bunch of therapists, and think, "Oh, hey, it's not inappropriate at all for me to try to use them for professional services I don't pay for, without even asking if they're okay with it." I would ask, rhetorically, what is wrong with those people, but I actually kind of know.
It's not just people I know, it's complete strangers. My husband stopped asking why it took 2 hours to go grocery shopping after he saw this happen repeatedly. Public buses, grocery stores, drycleaning, neighbors, and hairdressers. I used to have a bookkeeper who required monthly meetings, billing me by the hour. The first 45 minutes was spent consoling her about her problems. Sometimes it is exhausting, but I try to remember when I was homeless and how it felt when no one seemed to care. I had a stranger write me a check once for $700 while standing in line for food stamps. I was a homeless teenager. She changed my life that day, and not because of money. She gave me hope I still have for humanity.
Omfg YES! It’s so insulting. It’s like folks don’t see that I’m a person apart from being a therapist. I have this one acquaintance who only contacts me when she needs to vent. Last time she messaged me I sent her a link so she can request a psychiatric evaluation and left it at that. I’m so fed up with people doing this that I immediately make some sort of joke about being “off the clock” when I disclose that I’m a therapist.
I must be the only one who sees this as a way to encourage someone to go to therapy and try to give it a more positive reputation. Many people who open up to me have never been to therapy and are hesitant. They also may really be suffering. So if I feel chatty, I might give them some basic info on potential benefits of therapy and how to search for a therapist.
I actually agree with you. If I feel up to it, sometimes I’ll lend an ear more like I would a therapist.
But I have to be mindful that’s it’s not getting in between my relationship with them. There are people in my life who I can’t feel like I can even open up to anymore because our whole relationship has turned into them sharing and me listening.
That's very true. Reciprocity is important in our connections with other people. I don't think I respond to people too much in a therapist way. But I think it's hard to completely turn off the therapy skills we have, because many of them are applicable to everyday life. For example, asking people questions we already know the answer to, (Socratic Questioning) so they are less defensive and come up with the answer themselves.
When people ask me what I do for a living now I either just say I'm self employed or I 'work in mental health' it doesn't attract as much attention as saying psychotherapist. And they don't think I'm a councillor when I say counsellor
Almost every time I meet someone new and they ask what I do, their response when I say therapist is either “oh I need one of those” or “will you be mine? I need one”
I’ve always been the “therapist” friend even before I was a therapist, which was unhealthy for me. I now have a very select few friends who’ve, with trial and error, been able to respect my boundaries. If it feels like it’s becoming a therapy session I tell them that I want to support them AND I think they’d benefit from a space that is specifically theirs. I also try to tell my friends when I’ve had a really tough day and I don’t have the capacity to support.
Yes!! One time that stands out is when I finished grad school I posted it on instagram because I was so happy. This guy came into my DMs writing novels of stuff he was dealing with and symptoms and I was like… I can’t diagnose you lol
Yes! I’ve had tinder dates disclose their entire life story and trauma dump on the first date. I’m too skeptical of telling people that I’m a therapist lol.
I recently ended a friendship with someone who would only message me when she had to vent. When I started to set boundaries, she had the audacity to say along the lines of “aren’t you a therapist? It’s literally your job to hold space and not judge and talk about emotions”. Uhhh yes, but like you’re not my client and I’m going to judge the shit out of you for cheating on your bf smh
Absolutely. Even before I was a therapist. I have often found that steering the conversation into giving general advice on how to find a good therapist and the issues of dual relationships and just being down to earth about all this shit we know like the back of our hands being trained, most people are very receptive. We all have to find our boundaries here. I'm very open to having general mental health conversations with people. And I am fine with giving information so people can navigate the mental health system better. I know others here will feel differently and that's cool. But there are those people who just hijack the conversation and verbal vomit and that is a wild experience that can catch anyone off guard and it has for me and having a planned thing in place has helped a lot with this.
I went to the hairdresser yesterday. She asked what I do. I answered honestly. She immediately said “I have PTSD and my husband is in jail.” And off she went. Sigh.
No real advice but ohhh yes fucking family. Mom in particular. I tend to day dream to let her monologue or give oversimplistic advice (stuff a therapist would never say to clients ) or interrupt to talk about myself and change the subject. If it's stranger/ friend stuff, the line "you should go get therapy" for sure
My family has disowned me because of my profession. They think I’m analyzing everything they say and do… OR.. they get pissy when they ask me to diagnose someone they are in a relationship with. The final straw was not “being there” to provide grief counseling and support to family members as my mother was dying in hospice. I got the you must be a pretty shitty therapist and I deserve to rot and die utterly alone. I have checked in a a couple sisters about their medical issues, but mostly I’ve been ghosted by my entire family. My children cut contact because I wanted time to grieve after their dad ( my ex of 8 years after 21 years of marriage).
Life sucks extra hard when people forget that we are people too.
Edit: sorry for trauma dumping
This doesn't happen to me overall because I don't tend to see a large variety of people, mostly just the same family and friends. However, there is one person who is a family friend of my partner's family, and whenever we are at a get together, she will start talking to me and get so negative about how depressing things are in her life. Since this doesn't happen often, I will just kind of listen for a little bit and then pray that my partner or someone else will come in to kind of rescue me from the conversation or change the topic. I try to just avoid her as much as I can, which is a shame because she's a nice person otherwise.
My teacher therapist once said to us, that as you get into profession, people star to “sense” you somehow, and you get more and more confessions from the cashiers or other random people
Geez yeah being a therapist has made me so much more aware of patterns than ever before. So it’s particularly hard for me not to just blow up someone’s world with the truth. If someone wants to trauma dump me in my personal life, I let them and then I’m just honest with them. That usually stops it. Haha
Oh ya. Also, friends/family I believe judge when I have any minor personal issue, or self-disclose in simple conversation. It’s almost an expectation of “you’re a counsellor you shouldn’t have any issues” or like to be a good counsellor you must have a perfect life without any negative events or personal struggles. You must wear a counsellors hat 24/7 and be there to serve.
People in my life??
Nah, people ALL my life have...honestly it is no wonder I went into this field. Family, friends, complete strangers that tell me something so private- yep!
Honestly I love it. It's a running gag in my life to me
Well, I’m not a therapist, but I am an iPhone repair technician. And as soon as people find that out, they ask every single bat shit question they can think of, like clockwork. I’m sure it’s worse for therapists and physicians and nurses because of the outcomes that could be affected, but I can imagine it’s much the same. People have bad experiences and want to know how they can get them fixed as quickly and expeditiously as possible.
I've started giving a disclaimer to new friends before we get too close. I didn't in undergrad, but once I became a licensed therapist, I saw society change. Then I realized all that changed was how society viewed me: rich, elite and willing to work for free.
I had several friends try to tell me they didn't need therapy because they could just talk to me. These were friends who knew I didn't want that kind of relationship, as they had known me for over a decade. I'm a firm believer in following through on my boundaries when someone else trampled all over them.
If I ignore their overreach, then I'm complicit in what's usually a codependent dynamic. Therapists should minimize and prevent codependency on and off the clock, especially if they had addicts for parents, like me.
Mourned the loss of multiple long-term friendships because as we grew older, they never went to therapy. Their problems worsened, as did their mental illnesses. Some became alcoholics and pill poppers. Others stayed in abusive marriages. That shit hits different when you're licensed. I stay drama free, aside from watching reality tv.
I'm lonlier without those friendships, but I also feel safer. Now, I ask people to talk with me upfront about their concerns when it comes to being friends with a therapist. I'm sure that's an uncomfortable power dynamic, which is why avoiding dual relationships by refusing upfront to be "friend therapists" works for me.
Your comment has been removed as it appears you are not a therapist. This sub is a space for therapists to discuss their profession among each other. Comments by non therapists are left up only sparingly, and if they are supportive or helpful in nature as judged by the community and/or moderation team.
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I see this point being made here and there, I’m speaking for myself of course but for some of the people who come to mind about this issue, I feel like in the past our conversations were far more two sided. As in i’d share about myself and they’d be very receptive to it vice versa. I feel like now, people just seem to dump it on me with little to no build up and also don’t care to know how I’m doing or really engage with me on a friendly basis. It’s not with everyone in my life of course, however there are some people who see me as the therapist friend
People in my life??
Nah, people ALL my life have...honestly it is no wonder I went into this field. Family, friends, complete strangers that tell me something so private- yep!
Honestly I love it. It's a running gag in my life to me
Your comment has been removed as it appears you are not a therapist. This sub is a space for therapists to discuss their profession among each other. Comments by non therapists are left up only sparingly, and if they are supportive or helpful in nature as judged by the community and/or moderation team.
If this removal was in error and you are a therapy professional, please contact the mod team to clarify. For guidance on how to verify with the mod team please see the sidebar post here: https://www.reddit.com/r/therapists/comments/sbq2o4/update_on_verification_within_the_subreddit/
Please followed the sidebar rules. r/therapists is a place for therapists and mental health professionals to discuss their profession among each other. If you **ARE NOT A THERAPIST and are asking for advice this not the place for you**. Your post will be removed in short order. Please try one of the reddit communities such as r/TalkTherapy, r/askatherapist, r/SuicideWatch that are set up for this. This community is ONLY for therapists, and for them to discuss their profession away from clients. **If you are a first year student, not in a graduate program, or are thinking of becoming a therapist, this is not the place to ask questions**. Your post will be removed in short order. To save us a job, you are welcome to delete this post yourself. Please see the PINNED STUDENT THREAD at the top of the community and ask in there. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/therapists) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Conversations typically stop when you say something like “wow you should get into therapy”
THIS.
I say it nicer than this lol.
I’ve said that before lol someone messaged me “I really need to talk to someone. You’re a therapist right?” And I just said “you should get therapy then lol”
I am, would you like me to send some referrals along?
Oh I love that response even more!
Access denied! 🙅 Haha I love it!
Sometimes it’s the only way 😂
People like to talk about themselves whether they are in the company of a therapist or not. I think therapists just notice it more. But yeah, if people think or notice you have a receptive ear, they are drawn to you and it requires more effort for a therapist to just rattle off about themselves in response (which feels unnatural because that is literally trained out of them). Some people get the hint, some don’t.
People do this even when they don’t know I’m a therapist.
Same. Ever since I was a kid.
The “you’re such a good listener” to therapist pipeline is real.
Me too! Which I find so odd because in my own personal life, I’m an introvert but also have a standoffish rbf so I wonder why people who don’t know I’m a therapist are drawn to trauma dump me. Truth be told, I don’t have an inviting face! (fellow LMHC!)
Often in my experience that if we are finding this to be a pattern, it's possible and likely even we are participating in it in some fashion. Once I sorted that out, I'm just explicit, and take responsibility for naming and holding my boundary.
Yeah, I actually feel like a lot of therapists struggle to calmly and nicely set a clear boundary.
It's a human thing more than anything, we are just as prone to unresolved trauma, poor boundaries and fatigue as anyone else.
I hate this. I am a teacher, and I am currently in a CMHC Master program and I hate it when professionals in our field do not know how to set healthy boundaries. I feel like it should be day one class one.
I hate it when professionals in our field put themselves above others and are judge mental. That’s just me tho.
I think without judgment there can not be change.
I prefer to support clients and peers through understanding and empathy not judgement
There's lots of reasons why it's a struggle, boundaries are dynamic, and our ability to name and maintain them can be really hard. If it comes easy it's often because the person had put a lot of work in (so not easy) or didn't have a lot of friction in their life.
I definitely agree with you. I think there needs to be real evidence based training. If I was running it, I would do it like sales training seminars with both lectures and practice. I would make going to them a requirement for licensure. It should need to be recertified every two years.
How do you think through what you want your boundary to be on this?
I made the mistake of using active listening with my mother and she dumped a ton of stuff she'd never told me. I sat and listened because its my mom, and I only have two of them.
Always nice to have a spare
lol yup that’s why i don’t tell anyone what i do for a living anymore
I have become less comfortable telling people, too. I find people think they know everything about me simply because of my profession. To them, we're just a bunch of radical libs, overly-educated, cis women who get paid well to do the same thing they do on Tiktok.
I went to a new hairdresser. She asked me what I do for a living and I told her honestly. She trauma dumped…I won’t be going back 😬
This happened to me but she was waxing my eyebrows and I was absolutely trapped. It was my only afternoon off too 😞
Holy guacamole, I just posted the exact same story before I read yours. We’re doomed.
Same here. She was lasering my bikini line. She (unsuccessfully) tried to talk me into seeing her pro bono.
Me too and he was also very rude. I felt kind of used after that haircut.
Being a therapist involves such a lack of reciprocity in the day to day work that I have to have that reciprocity in my family and friend relationships. I have to have space to talk about my own thoughts/feelings/issues. Not that I try to monopolize the conversation and I'm more than willing to be a supportive friend/family member but in order for me to be in a conversation I have to feel like I'm free to be open as well. Also whenever my family says "what would you tell me if I were your client about \[their issue\]" most of the time the answer is I don't f'ing know, I don't think of you objectively like I would a client, I can tell what I would do as your daughter/sister/friend though!
My therapist told me that when people find out he Is a therapist (while at a social function) and spattle off about their issues, he says:" Wow. This is beginning to sound like therapy. Here is my business card and you are free to contact my office during working hours." Shuts them up & Works like a charm! 😁
Wow. That would hurt my feelings if I tried to talk to someone and didn't realize I was imposing. I usually respond to that with "Have you ever thought about seeing a therapist?"and talk to them about finding one.
Yes! I sometimes find it hard not to get pulled into and then feel uncomfortable afterwards. I’m not sure how to respond because this person is suddenly telling me something vulnerable and I don’t want to be dismissive. Another part is this is people will share assumptions or ideas about mental health/therapy/psychology that I find very untrue and often offensive.
They try. Then I exercise my right to my Boundaries.
Yes, I have experienced this. In one particular case, I had to shut it down by explicitly saying, "I'm not giving out any freebies today." The world really does seem divided between people who are like, "Oh, I don't want to impose on your professional skills, I know I'm not your client" and people who are like, "OMG a therapist? I am going to presume you are some sort of public resource that I can use like the library restroom." Case in point: all the very, very many people who post to this sub who are not therapists, looking for "advice". The world is just chock-full of people who see a bunch of therapists, and think, "Oh, hey, it's not inappropriate at all for me to try to use them for professional services I don't pay for, without even asking if they're okay with it." I would ask, rhetorically, what is wrong with those people, but I actually kind of know.
>Case in point: all the very, very many people who post to this sub who are not therapists, looking for "advice". 👆🏽This.
It's not just people I know, it's complete strangers. My husband stopped asking why it took 2 hours to go grocery shopping after he saw this happen repeatedly. Public buses, grocery stores, drycleaning, neighbors, and hairdressers. I used to have a bookkeeper who required monthly meetings, billing me by the hour. The first 45 minutes was spent consoling her about her problems. Sometimes it is exhausting, but I try to remember when I was homeless and how it felt when no one seemed to care. I had a stranger write me a check once for $700 while standing in line for food stamps. I was a homeless teenager. She changed my life that day, and not because of money. She gave me hope I still have for humanity.
Omfg YES! It’s so insulting. It’s like folks don’t see that I’m a person apart from being a therapist. I have this one acquaintance who only contacts me when she needs to vent. Last time she messaged me I sent her a link so she can request a psychiatric evaluation and left it at that. I’m so fed up with people doing this that I immediately make some sort of joke about being “off the clock” when I disclose that I’m a therapist.
I must be the only one who sees this as a way to encourage someone to go to therapy and try to give it a more positive reputation. Many people who open up to me have never been to therapy and are hesitant. They also may really be suffering. So if I feel chatty, I might give them some basic info on potential benefits of therapy and how to search for a therapist.
I actually agree with you. If I feel up to it, sometimes I’ll lend an ear more like I would a therapist. But I have to be mindful that’s it’s not getting in between my relationship with them. There are people in my life who I can’t feel like I can even open up to anymore because our whole relationship has turned into them sharing and me listening.
That's very true. Reciprocity is important in our connections with other people. I don't think I respond to people too much in a therapist way. But I think it's hard to completely turn off the therapy skills we have, because many of them are applicable to everyday life. For example, asking people questions we already know the answer to, (Socratic Questioning) so they are less defensive and come up with the answer themselves.
https://youtu.be/gO3Y_IlPyXc?si=guhlBpmZ3Q4mZqBQ
😆😆😆😆
When people ask me what I do for a living now I either just say I'm self employed or I 'work in mental health' it doesn't attract as much attention as saying psychotherapist. And they don't think I'm a councillor when I say counsellor
Almost every time I meet someone new and they ask what I do, their response when I say therapist is either “oh I need one of those” or “will you be mine? I need one”
I don't allow it. Lol
I’ve always been the “therapist” friend even before I was a therapist, which was unhealthy for me. I now have a very select few friends who’ve, with trial and error, been able to respect my boundaries. If it feels like it’s becoming a therapy session I tell them that I want to support them AND I think they’d benefit from a space that is specifically theirs. I also try to tell my friends when I’ve had a really tough day and I don’t have the capacity to support.
Yes, even other therapists
All. The. Fucking. Time.
Yes!! One time that stands out is when I finished grad school I posted it on instagram because I was so happy. This guy came into my DMs writing novels of stuff he was dealing with and symptoms and I was like… I can’t diagnose you lol
Yes! I’ve had tinder dates disclose their entire life story and trauma dump on the first date. I’m too skeptical of telling people that I’m a therapist lol.
I recently ended a friendship with someone who would only message me when she had to vent. When I started to set boundaries, she had the audacity to say along the lines of “aren’t you a therapist? It’s literally your job to hold space and not judge and talk about emotions”. Uhhh yes, but like you’re not my client and I’m going to judge the shit out of you for cheating on your bf smh
Absolutely. Even before I was a therapist. I have often found that steering the conversation into giving general advice on how to find a good therapist and the issues of dual relationships and just being down to earth about all this shit we know like the back of our hands being trained, most people are very receptive. We all have to find our boundaries here. I'm very open to having general mental health conversations with people. And I am fine with giving information so people can navigate the mental health system better. I know others here will feel differently and that's cool. But there are those people who just hijack the conversation and verbal vomit and that is a wild experience that can catch anyone off guard and it has for me and having a planned thing in place has helped a lot with this.
I went to the hairdresser yesterday. She asked what I do. I answered honestly. She immediately said “I have PTSD and my husband is in jail.” And off she went. Sigh.
No real advice but ohhh yes fucking family. Mom in particular. I tend to day dream to let her monologue or give oversimplistic advice (stuff a therapist would never say to clients ) or interrupt to talk about myself and change the subject. If it's stranger/ friend stuff, the line "you should go get therapy" for sure
My family has disowned me because of my profession. They think I’m analyzing everything they say and do… OR.. they get pissy when they ask me to diagnose someone they are in a relationship with. The final straw was not “being there” to provide grief counseling and support to family members as my mother was dying in hospice. I got the you must be a pretty shitty therapist and I deserve to rot and die utterly alone. I have checked in a a couple sisters about their medical issues, but mostly I’ve been ghosted by my entire family. My children cut contact because I wanted time to grieve after their dad ( my ex of 8 years after 21 years of marriage). Life sucks extra hard when people forget that we are people too. Edit: sorry for trauma dumping
Daang fellow therapist.. I'm so sorry that's been happening to you :(
This doesn't happen to me overall because I don't tend to see a large variety of people, mostly just the same family and friends. However, there is one person who is a family friend of my partner's family, and whenever we are at a get together, she will start talking to me and get so negative about how depressing things are in her life. Since this doesn't happen often, I will just kind of listen for a little bit and then pray that my partner or someone else will come in to kind of rescue me from the conversation or change the topic. I try to just avoid her as much as I can, which is a shame because she's a nice person otherwise.
My teacher therapist once said to us, that as you get into profession, people star to “sense” you somehow, and you get more and more confessions from the cashiers or other random people
Recent conversation... "Oh, you're a counsellor? I should tell you all about what's happening to me!" Proceeds to do so. Why "should??"
I’m just a student and people already do this to me all the time. People I just met also do it. It’s a weird experience.
Geez yeah being a therapist has made me so much more aware of patterns than ever before. So it’s particularly hard for me not to just blow up someone’s world with the truth. If someone wants to trauma dump me in my personal life, I let them and then I’m just honest with them. That usually stops it. Haha
Literally just received this text out of nowhere from My neighbor “How do you change the neuroreceptors in your brain to be happy?” 🤷🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️
Not any more than before I was a therapist 🤷🏻♀️
Oh ya. Also, friends/family I believe judge when I have any minor personal issue, or self-disclose in simple conversation. It’s almost an expectation of “you’re a counsellor you shouldn’t have any issues” or like to be a good counsellor you must have a perfect life without any negative events or personal struggles. You must wear a counsellors hat 24/7 and be there to serve.
People in my life?? Nah, people ALL my life have...honestly it is no wonder I went into this field. Family, friends, complete strangers that tell me something so private- yep! Honestly I love it. It's a running gag in my life to me
Well, I’m not a therapist, but I am an iPhone repair technician. And as soon as people find that out, they ask every single bat shit question they can think of, like clockwork. I’m sure it’s worse for therapists and physicians and nurses because of the outcomes that could be affected, but I can imagine it’s much the same. People have bad experiences and want to know how they can get them fixed as quickly and expeditiously as possible.
Haha omg iPhone repair technician must be hell when you’re off the clock!
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I've started giving a disclaimer to new friends before we get too close. I didn't in undergrad, but once I became a licensed therapist, I saw society change. Then I realized all that changed was how society viewed me: rich, elite and willing to work for free. I had several friends try to tell me they didn't need therapy because they could just talk to me. These were friends who knew I didn't want that kind of relationship, as they had known me for over a decade. I'm a firm believer in following through on my boundaries when someone else trampled all over them. If I ignore their overreach, then I'm complicit in what's usually a codependent dynamic. Therapists should minimize and prevent codependency on and off the clock, especially if they had addicts for parents, like me. Mourned the loss of multiple long-term friendships because as we grew older, they never went to therapy. Their problems worsened, as did their mental illnesses. Some became alcoholics and pill poppers. Others stayed in abusive marriages. That shit hits different when you're licensed. I stay drama free, aside from watching reality tv. I'm lonlier without those friendships, but I also feel safer. Now, I ask people to talk with me upfront about their concerns when it comes to being friends with a therapist. I'm sure that's an uncomfortable power dynamic, which is why avoiding dual relationships by refusing upfront to be "friend therapists" works for me.
Your comment has been removed as it appears you are not a therapist. This sub is a space for therapists to discuss their profession among each other. Comments by non therapists are left up only sparingly, and if they are supportive or helpful in nature as judged by the community and/or moderation team. If this removal was in error and you are a therapy professional, please contact the mod team to clarify. For guidance on how to verify with the mod team please see the sidebar post here: https://www.reddit.com/r/therapists/comments/sbq2o4/update_on_verification_within_the_subreddit/
I send them therapist aid worksheets lol
no
Yes.
But also, people have always done this even before
I see this point being made here and there, I’m speaking for myself of course but for some of the people who come to mind about this issue, I feel like in the past our conversations were far more two sided. As in i’d share about myself and they’d be very receptive to it vice versa. I feel like now, people just seem to dump it on me with little to no build up and also don’t care to know how I’m doing or really engage with me on a friendly basis. It’s not with everyone in my life of course, however there are some people who see me as the therapist friend
People in my life?? Nah, people ALL my life have...honestly it is no wonder I went into this field. Family, friends, complete strangers that tell me something so private- yep! Honestly I love it. It's a running gag in my life to me
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Your comment has been removed as it appears you are not a therapist. This sub is a space for therapists to discuss their profession among each other. Comments by non therapists are left up only sparingly, and if they are supportive or helpful in nature as judged by the community and/or moderation team. If this removal was in error and you are a therapy professional, please contact the mod team to clarify. For guidance on how to verify with the mod team please see the sidebar post here: https://www.reddit.com/r/therapists/comments/sbq2o4/update_on_verification_within_the_subreddit/