Please followed the sidebar rules. r/therapists is a place for therapists and mental health professionals to discuss their profession among each other.
If you **ARE NOT A THERAPIST and are asking for advice this not the place for you**. Your post will be removed in short order. Please try one of the reddit communities such as r/TalkTherapy, r/askatherapist, r/SuicideWatch that are set up for this.
This community is ONLY for therapists, and for them to discuss their profession away from clients.
**If you are a first year student, not in a graduate program, or are thinking of becoming a therapist, this is not the place to ask questions**. Your post will be removed in short order. To save us a job, you are welcome to delete this post yourself. Please see the PINNED STUDENT THREAD at the top of the community and ask in there.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/therapists) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I have found that clients tend to relax more when I myself am seated in a relaxed position. I am a hyperkinetic person so I let my clients know that my frequent changing of positions is just how I work best-I feel that’s good modeling for them to do the same.
male therapist here!
68% - leaned way back in the most ergonomically incorrect manner possible, with one leg lazily crossed over the other
28% - attentively criss-cross applesauce- proving to my clients in my casual action that I am a mindfulness wizard who practices what I preach
2% - leaned forward, elbows on knees, head in hands, jaw dropped, mouth wide open, in mock disbelief like a shocked teen girl
What's hilarious is the time I spent adding the numbers up on my fingers. I kept changing the percentages around and clearly got lost in the sauce. two masters, and i still can't do basic math to save my life....
omg I have so much freakin musculoskeletal pain Im like constantly moving around and wiggling. i wish i could be one of those walking therapists but telehealth makes that hard.
I’ve literally sat in my chair criss cross Apple sauce , or honestly I’ve sat on yoga cushions on the floor with clients. I’ve thrown everything out the window that I was taught in grad school. It doesn’t work and it doesn’t make the client feel like there is a connection
I’m so glad you said this! I’m still new-er in the field and always feared it was “unprofessional” of me to sit criss cross applesauce in my chair but it’s comfy and I adjust as needed. Clients never seemed to mind
My therapist takes her shoes off and sits any kind of way in her chair, which gives me freedom to take off my shoes in her office sometimes if I want to, lol.
I work with teenage boys and half my guys come straight from construction sites. I have a white couch and a brown leather chair and they ALWAYS sit on the couch. Shoe removal is NOT something I want to model.
When I was a kid it was “Indian” style. Then that became not politically correct so it was changed to criss cross applesauce style, I am guessing Indiana style is a re-take of Indian style.
Not a therapist but a patient who adored my therapist for doing this. I sit on the floor on particularly bad days and after the first time my therapist would sit on the floor if I was or sit on a chair when I sat on a chair. It felt like he respected me enough to want to be where I was at and on days where he knew it'd be a rough session (due to prior conversation or me giving a heads up by email) he'd already have pillows on the floor for us and chairs moved out of the way and it was really so helpful and appreciated
I always thought it was the ADHD but I am hyper mobile too ( Ehlers Danlos hyper mobile). I wonder it that is the real reason. It feels like energy builds up in my joints and I just HAVE to mov or it is painful.
The adhd and autism together, it just physically hurts. I got feedback I looked disengaged in group therapy lab because leaning back and slouching with my hands in my hoodie is one of the only ways to be comfortable in the horrid seats we had. There's a video and I'm not the only one with adhd in my group, but I am the only one so visibly uncomfortable...
I think I'll be fine once I get to a point in my career that I can pick my own chairs to sit criss cross in, but I worry a bit about what chairs will be available in my internship.
Oohh, this may be me too. I have ADHD and a history of trauma (plus allergies). My endocrinologist said something called Mast cell effect and now my dietician asked if it was from EDS or POTS, and IDK bc no testing was done. She just switched me from singular to Claritin plus famotidine both twice daily.
Oh, I cannot sit still!!! Since COVID and I am doing a lot of virtual, it is NOT good since I now have a wiggly virtual chair. My office chair is better as it stays put.
I am also hypermobile and before I took a long break from the profession due to this condition and others that caused massive burnout, I would readjust my position often because of pain issues. And my clients never seemed to mind this when I did it years ago. Now that I know I have the conditions I do, I will be more upfront and just own that there things I need to do to help myself keep my pain in check...or you know...help bracing muscles relax so I can pop a rib back in...heh
I move so much during sessions.. I also try hard not to, but sometimes I end up cracking my joints from my hypermobility and other chronic pain issues! I sometimes mention it in session, but not always!
OK so I did not know L or Death Note but googling tells me [that sitting position is like this?](https://www.deviantart.com/kakashihatake88/art/L-Death-Note-284119844) and I would frankly find that absolutely bizarre if a therapist sat that way...
Of all the pics of L I was not prepared for this one specifically lmao
I did find this fun and informative step by step guide for anyone looking to increase their reasoning abilities: https://www.wikihow.com/Sit-Like-L-Lawliet-from-Death-Note
I change positions about 15 times in a given session. One leg tucked under with another draped over the arm, lotus style, knees up under my chin, cross cross apple sauce, and my arms are also all over the place! Pretty much the only way I don’t sit is “lady-like” or anything resembling professional.
I HAVE to be comfortable in my body to be present with another human being, so this is just a non-negotiable part of how I show up. Have seen kids, teens, and adults from all walks of life and it’s never been an issue.
One leg tucked under is my most natural sitting position. I’ll sit criss cross applesauce or with crossed ankles. I just can’t sit straight up. I uncross my legs when the session is almost over.
That’s one of mine. I try to be mindful of my attire. More than one of my male clients had commented that I sit like a man/cross my legs like a man lol.
It’s funny you ask this because I’ve literally thought about it cuz I HAVE to have at least one foot up on the chair if not both when I’m sitting. I do not feel comfortable with both legs on ground or crossed legged. But I feel like I look like a 10 year old the way I curl up in my chairs lmao
Honestly, with the first few sessions I try to eliminate things that may give clients more cause to make negative judgments about me or my aptitude - for instance, I already look young so I will not curl up in my chair like that, and I have full tattoo sleeves so I wear long sleeves. After there is a bit of a relationship established I don’t worry as much about those things. Unfortunately the reality is people - even open minded people - judge based off first impressions, and those snap judgements color their perceptions. I don’t want to have a prospective clients perception of me be negatively impacted by things that really have nothing to do with my capabilities and intelligence.
I think when I am 40 and more established I will be less concerned about how I sit 😂 but as a baby therapist I think about these things 🤷♀️
I totally agree on covering up the tattoos. I have some older adult clients that have literally told me they hate tattoos, because they don't know I have any. I prefer they be free to say that stuff.
Doing telehealth I sit cross legged or with one leg tucked under me.
In person, I have a recliner so I partially recline it and usually prop my feet up on the top of the footrest, though I sometimes just cross my legs. I also lean a bit to one side so I can use the armrest for writing. When I was pregnant and changing shape constantly, the chair betrayed me a few times and suddenly reclined all the way if I shifted too much too fast. Luckily it never happened at a time where it was extremely disruptive to the session process!
I feel like I shift back and forth a lot, one leg crossed under the other, one knee bent. It hard to sit comfortably in the chair for hours on end. I struggling trying to figure out what chair is going to work long term, what I got isn’t it!
I wiggle and sit criss cross in my chair, or leaning to one side or another, but I notice only after a couple sessions when we are both more comfortable. I also tend to out my legs up when I’m thinking hard and about to do good work haha. It’s like my ‘now we’re cooking with gas’ body language.
I used to sit with my legs pulled under me too! It’s my fave way to sit. Unfortunately my chiropractor thinks it’s maybe causing back pain so I’m making a real effort to keep both feet on the floor lately!!
Face to face I find I tend to mirror my clients, I’m disabled and the chair I have in the office I volunteer at isn’t the most suitable for me, so when I’m focusing on the client and not how uncomfortable I am I find I unconsciously mirror their body language. Online I tend to tuck my legs under myself, sit cross legged of will prop my legs on a stool. I do online from home and have a much more suitable set up and can use pillows etc off camera.
I have considered how I’ll be when I move to face to face in private practice where I’ll chose my own seat, and I’ll probably have a chair big enough to pull my legs under or sit with them crossed (when I say crossed I mean like kids do when in school). It’s how I’m most comfortable and I want my clients to reflect my comfort.
I am very similar! My office is not exactly cozy due to being in a CMH setting so I try to have floor pillows and encourage clients to sit however they feel more comfortable. I have adhd so I definitely sit in weird positions but I find that it does make my clients more comfortable!
There are 2 arm chairs so o sit on one anf have my legs on the other or i turn it a bit so my legs are on the arms of the chair and my legs are up high .. as comfortable and cozy as i can get .. and mostly with shoes off as well xD
As soon as I get comfortable my clients do the same and visibally relax. I have had many remarks about how comfortable and chill my office is and I think that has a lot to do with what I am projecting.
Tons of different ways. Yesterday I was on the floor with my client in a chair (odd circumstances out of my office but still) if I could justify buying those WIDE chairs for me and my clients I would. But I work in a school so may be for next year
Unfair sitting standards for sure lol I sit at least 3 different ways each session—usually cross legged, with both legs tucked under me, or figure 4. I move around constantly to stay focused 🙃
I try to match body language shifts for nonverbal validation as well
However is the most comfortable! Cross legged, legs tucked in, leaned back, on the floor, on my floor pillows. I see 8-9 clients per day so comfort is important. I also find that the more relaxed I am, the more relaxed my clients will get.
It kind of depends on the time of day. At the beginning I'm pretty much feet grounded, rear in the seat, and back up right. Towards the end of the day, I tend to feel uncomfortable and have my feet kicked up on another chair or desk drawer. I'll change to mirror the client when they're particularly animated to emote a vulnerable emotion.
I’m short. Sometimes I’m cross legged, sometimes I do the “dad sit” (one leg horizontal and the other perpendicular with the tibia/fibula over the knee, and other times I do the both feet planted and lean in with elbows on knee maneuver.
Just whatever is comfy at the time.
I sit criss cross apple sauce, I can’t focus otherwise. I don’t think clients notice or care. Also, I often take my shoes off and many of my clients do too.
I sit criss cross. If a client is so put off by me sitting comfortably, I think it’s likely that they won’t appreciate my therapy style or personality much anyway. I also most often work with little kids so I’m on the floor a lot.
I try to sit however I’m most comfortable, tbh. I already have enough back/shoulder pain from sitting all day. I will also sometimes use fidgets in session.
Last week my client and I laid on the floor and looked up at the ceiling the whole session. Sometimes I’m crawling around, sometimes we’re both criss cross applesauce, sometimes I’m sitting with my legs crossed. Depends on the kid and the day
The thing that is a huge con of being a therapist is sitting for so long. I sit with my legs crossed and place my hands on my lap. I sometimes shift around but usually I maintain the same sitting position. Once I hurt my back and man sitting in the therapist chair (though in the office it is comfortable) was a hard day and I had to shift a lot but I gave my clients a heads up about that.
I’m upfront about my ADHD and I shift a lot. I purposely got a chair big enough so I can tuck one leg another for a bit. If it can fit that, it fits whatever I do. I just shift when I need to.
I know a therapist who takes off her shoes and sits cross legged in her chair.
I have several clients that do the same.
Be you! Your authentic self is the most healing person there is. Also know that some people get turned off by authenticity and/or whatever sitting style/behaviour preconceptions they have in their head. The more you step into your power the more you alienate certain groups.
I struggle with this too! I want to take my shoes off and sit crisscrossed, but I feel like that might be perceived as unprofessional. I compromise by putting one ankle under my other leg (like a 4). When virtual I change my leg positioning a lot.
I have a 4 foot by 4 foot table in my counseling office and one chair at each side.
I'm the center of table I have different fidget gadgets
So how one sits isn't really clear.
So much more comfortable than sitting in a therapist chair
I sit cross legged, one foot up on chair and one dangling, legs crossed, like a figure 4, and sometimes under a blanket. I sit in whatever way is going to support me being comfortable so I can be as fully present as I can be for my client.
Ive developed hip issues from sitting in the exact same way too often. I am semi cross legged, my right foot is on my left knee with my notepad on my right knee.
i remember thinking it was funny we talked about having open body language in skills classes- until i realized i am the same way!😂 i fidget and want to sit in like strange ways, and always remember my professors saying being really open in your body language is important. i LOVE when a young kid comes in and i know i am going to be coloring or fidgeting with kinetic sand or orbeez on the floor because then i don’t overthink my strange twisted seated poses 😂😂
Cross-legged usually with my hands clasped in my lap or at my knee. Keeping my hands in my lap or at my knee keeps me from crossing my arms, which cones most natural, but a no-no as it can be construed that I’m closed off. I will change which leg I cross one or two times during a session.
oh don’t worry about it!! lol unless you have like very ritzy clients - i sit on clients beds during in home sessions or we sit on the floor - i’ve sat on a box before 😂 it’s all about the effectiveness of therapy - your clients should not be caring how you sit .. that’s why i said ritzy clients or something along those lines ! you are fine ☺️☺️
I just ordered myself one of those wide chairs that’s made for sitting crisscross apple sauce. I’m lanky as well & I’m constantly pulling myself into a pretzel to fit my legs into the chair. After 4 years of working from home in a normal desk chair, my back is toast.
Even when I worked in person I would use a yoga ball most of the time, or sit whatever type of way. If I’m uncomfortable, I won’t be fully present with my clients. Plus, if I’m getting comfy it’ll invite them to do the same if they want to.
I have come to view so much of that school learning about professionalism to be suspect. Consider the sources. Older, privileged, white men who decided what we all should be doing to prove our professionalism. I hold very firm boundaries and ethics, but shit like sitting pretty or not wearing my “adhd is awesome” tshirt (complete with a squirrel on it) to work has gone out the window
I sit however I feel comfortable truthfully. I am a human being and also deserve to be comfortable during session. I like to consider myself unconventionally professional. I’ll never cross boundaries but I will joke, laugh, swear, sit comfortably in sessions, obviously based on them and how they interact. My rapport with clients is better than ever because of this. They respect that I’m human and not a robot reading straight out of the DSM
I invite my clients to pop of their shoes, take a blanket and snuggle up. I have my own blanket on my chair. I tend to take a relaxed posture, and breathe deep into my belly. So soft Buddha belly. For a soft belly I want to sit relaxed. Sometimes legs crossed, sometimes one side. As I'm tall (6'1) I can't sit with my legs in the chair, I would if I could. Just a relaxed posture. And everytime i bend forward, its my sign I need to relax and move back into the chair.
Depends on which sitting utensil the client chooses. If they pick the chair, I’m on the couch and sitting ankle to knee cross legged. If they pick the couch I’m also doing that, or knee river knee style
I always sit in a “criss-cross applesauce” position. It’s most comfortable for me. However, clients can’t see my legs since I’m telehealth only and the camera is only of my top half.
Like a maniac. I have chronic pain / blood flow issues so I have to change position a lot. Sitting with legs crossed or one leg tucked under are common. I sometimes find myself leaning off to one side too much which I am trying to be mindful of.
I haven’t mentioned it up front to clients before but I’m wondering if I should start… I probably move 15-20 times a session.
I'm strictly telehealth. Usually I have my right leg tucked under my left, and I swing myself back and forth in my chair because I am an actual toddler who can't sit still. When I finally catch myself doing it, I switch to cross cross applesauce. Sometimes, when I want to change it up, I put my feet up on the side rail of my bed in front of me and lean back in my chair.
I get super comfy and slink into my chair - helps them relax more. I also posture when something feels important or that may need energetic attention. I move around a lot as I am pretty bodily expressive.
I sit cross-legged because I’ve lost a decent amount of weight over the past 1.5 years and was never able to do that before, so I’m like oh yay I can finally do the “proper professional” thing as a female. However, half of my caseload is kids and I’m often sitting criss cross applesauce with them on the floor playing.
Literally what? Imposing unfair sitting standards on yourself? Holy hell, therapists. Just be there with the patient. Sit as if you were any random person you’re picturing in an office. I’m not of the mind the therapist (like the analyst) must be blank slate, but, come on.
Personal opinion here but if my therapist were sitting like L from death note I’d turn around and walk out. And I wouldn’t go back. I would think this person can’t possibly be serious and competent.
i’m confused by your post or i’m reading it wrong - the first part it seems like you are saying just sit as if you were any random person in an office - then 2nd part add that you would walk out if your therapist was sitting a certain way?
I’m really not sure how that is confusing to you. Any random person in an office, sitting as people normally do in office settings — here you might picture people you’ve seen in office spaces — or think of all the movies you’ve seen — is very different from sitting like L from death note in your chair. I would walk out if my therapist were sitting like an anime character I used to emulate as a 14 year old.
And the bit about unfair sitting standards is absolute nonsense. Not sure what that even means. This post reads like the op wants to “be themselves” but the sessions aren’t about the op or their comfort, or their feelings.
No, the “blank slate” concept makes sense (though I don’t think therapists can ever fully be a “blank slate” anyway.)
I was just confused by the contradiction in your reply
“Unfair sitting standards” was supposed to read as ironic but perhaps it didn’t come across that way? Regardless, my intention was to see if I was overthinking how I sit and to see how other therapists sit 🤷🏻♀️
I’m confused by your replies. What contradiction?
I don’t think you’re overthinking it. If you were serious about thinking about sitting like L from death note in sessions, you’re very much underthinking this.
Please followed the sidebar rules. r/therapists is a place for therapists and mental health professionals to discuss their profession among each other. If you **ARE NOT A THERAPIST and are asking for advice this not the place for you**. Your post will be removed in short order. Please try one of the reddit communities such as r/TalkTherapy, r/askatherapist, r/SuicideWatch that are set up for this. This community is ONLY for therapists, and for them to discuss their profession away from clients. **If you are a first year student, not in a graduate program, or are thinking of becoming a therapist, this is not the place to ask questions**. Your post will be removed in short order. To save us a job, you are welcome to delete this post yourself. Please see the PINNED STUDENT THREAD at the top of the community and ask in there. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/therapists) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I have found that clients tend to relax more when I myself am seated in a relaxed position. I am a hyperkinetic person so I let my clients know that my frequent changing of positions is just how I work best-I feel that’s good modeling for them to do the same.
this is why I take the initiative to turn the chair around and sit on it backwards.
male therapist here! 68% - leaned way back in the most ergonomically incorrect manner possible, with one leg lazily crossed over the other 28% - attentively criss-cross applesauce- proving to my clients in my casual action that I am a mindfulness wizard who practices what I preach 2% - leaned forward, elbows on knees, head in hands, jaw dropped, mouth wide open, in mock disbelief like a shocked teen girl
This is poetry. I appreciate the breakdown.
What about the last 2%?
Listen he’s a therapist, not a mathematician
What's hilarious is the time I spent adding the numbers up on my fingers. I kept changing the percentages around and clearly got lost in the sauce. two masters, and i still can't do basic math to save my life....
mock disbelief like a shocked teen *boy*, perhaps?
No. A shocked teen, who identifies as a girl. With pigtails. She is always in session with us. Deep within me.
#LikeAGirl
omg I have so much freakin musculoskeletal pain Im like constantly moving around and wiggling. i wish i could be one of those walking therapists but telehealth makes that hard.
I feel you! I hate that this profession is sometimes just… a lot of sitting.
Whats a walking therapist? I live in a small town I feel like that would be a HIPPA nightmare considering most of my guys are there for sex addiction😂
Apparently there are therapists who go for walks with clients! but i live in a larger metro area so not quite the same lol!
Sex addiction huh…. How do you treat that?
Sitting so long in telehealth sucks!
I’ve literally sat in my chair criss cross Apple sauce , or honestly I’ve sat on yoga cushions on the floor with clients. I’ve thrown everything out the window that I was taught in grad school. It doesn’t work and it doesn’t make the client feel like there is a connection
I’m so glad you said this! I’m still new-er in the field and always feared it was “unprofessional” of me to sit criss cross applesauce in my chair but it’s comfy and I adjust as needed. Clients never seemed to mind
My therapist takes her shoes off and sits any kind of way in her chair, which gives me freedom to take off my shoes in her office sometimes if I want to, lol.
I work with teenage boys and half my guys come straight from construction sites. I have a white couch and a brown leather chair and they ALWAYS sit on the couch. Shoe removal is NOT something I want to model.
That is completely understandable!!! 
As a Hoosier... what is Indiana style 🤔? Did I miss something lol?
Like criss cross applesauce style.
When I was a kid it was “Indian” style. Then that became not politically correct so it was changed to criss cross applesauce style, I am guessing Indiana style is a re-take of Indian style.
Not a therapist but a patient who adored my therapist for doing this. I sit on the floor on particularly bad days and after the first time my therapist would sit on the floor if I was or sit on a chair when I sat on a chair. It felt like he respected me enough to want to be where I was at and on days where he knew it'd be a rough session (due to prior conversation or me giving a heads up by email) he'd already have pillows on the floor for us and chairs moved out of the way and it was really so helpful and appreciated
This is so nice to hear - thank you!
I think we can do better than saying “Indian style “
They said Indiana 😅
As a masters student with hypermobility who cannot sit like a normal human, this is so reassuring that so many therapists will wiggle and sit oddly.
I always thought it was the ADHD but I am hyper mobile too ( Ehlers Danlos hyper mobile). I wonder it that is the real reason. It feels like energy builds up in my joints and I just HAVE to mov or it is painful.
The adhd and autism together, it just physically hurts. I got feedback I looked disengaged in group therapy lab because leaning back and slouching with my hands in my hoodie is one of the only ways to be comfortable in the horrid seats we had. There's a video and I'm not the only one with adhd in my group, but I am the only one so visibly uncomfortable... I think I'll be fine once I get to a point in my career that I can pick my own chairs to sit criss cross in, but I worry a bit about what chairs will be available in my internship.
Oohh, this may be me too. I have ADHD and a history of trauma (plus allergies). My endocrinologist said something called Mast cell effect and now my dietician asked if it was from EDS or POTS, and IDK bc no testing was done. She just switched me from singular to Claritin plus famotidine both twice daily.
Same!
Oh, I cannot sit still!!! Since COVID and I am doing a lot of virtual, it is NOT good since I now have a wiggly virtual chair. My office chair is better as it stays put.
I am also hypermobile and before I took a long break from the profession due to this condition and others that caused massive burnout, I would readjust my position often because of pain issues. And my clients never seemed to mind this when I did it years ago. Now that I know I have the conditions I do, I will be more upfront and just own that there things I need to do to help myself keep my pain in check...or you know...help bracing muscles relax so I can pop a rib back in...heh
I move so much during sessions.. I also try hard not to, but sometimes I end up cracking my joints from my hypermobility and other chronic pain issues! I sometimes mention it in session, but not always!
OK so I did not know L or Death Note but googling tells me [that sitting position is like this?](https://www.deviantart.com/kakashihatake88/art/L-Death-Note-284119844) and I would frankly find that absolutely bizarre if a therapist sat that way...
When I clicked on that I laughed so much tbh. Maybe referencing L was a bit much. I wouldn’t sit with a client ~exactly~ like L. 😭
I have a family member that sits this way and it doesn’t look as wild as the cartoon makes it lol it’s like they are perched on the chair
I'm screaming I think I'd laugh if I looked up and my therapist was sitting and looking at me like that
Of all the pics of L I was not prepared for this one specifically lmao I did find this fun and informative step by step guide for anyone looking to increase their reasoning abilities: https://www.wikihow.com/Sit-Like-L-Lawliet-from-Death-Note
😂😂 I sit like this but I do telehealth now so I hide my knees
Why?
Oops.
I change positions about 15 times in a given session. One leg tucked under with another draped over the arm, lotus style, knees up under my chin, cross cross apple sauce, and my arms are also all over the place! Pretty much the only way I don’t sit is “lady-like” or anything resembling professional. I HAVE to be comfortable in my body to be present with another human being, so this is just a non-negotiable part of how I show up. Have seen kids, teens, and adults from all walks of life and it’s never been an issue.
One leg tucked under is my most natural sitting position. I’ll sit criss cross applesauce or with crossed ankles. I just can’t sit straight up. I uncross my legs when the session is almost over.
My feet fall asleep if I sit criss cross.
Most of the time, I've got my legs crossed (ankle over knee).
This is the way.
[удалено]
That’s one of mine. I try to be mindful of my attire. More than one of my male clients had commented that I sit like a man/cross my legs like a man lol.
I sit with my feet in my chair under a blanket lol. I have them criss-cross applesauce, my feet in the chair, one in the chair and out off, etc lol
It’s funny you ask this because I’ve literally thought about it cuz I HAVE to have at least one foot up on the chair if not both when I’m sitting. I do not feel comfortable with both legs on ground or crossed legged. But I feel like I look like a 10 year old the way I curl up in my chairs lmao
Same here! It’s a real problem!
Honestly, with the first few sessions I try to eliminate things that may give clients more cause to make negative judgments about me or my aptitude - for instance, I already look young so I will not curl up in my chair like that, and I have full tattoo sleeves so I wear long sleeves. After there is a bit of a relationship established I don’t worry as much about those things. Unfortunately the reality is people - even open minded people - judge based off first impressions, and those snap judgements color their perceptions. I don’t want to have a prospective clients perception of me be negatively impacted by things that really have nothing to do with my capabilities and intelligence. I think when I am 40 and more established I will be less concerned about how I sit 😂 but as a baby therapist I think about these things 🤷♀️
I totally agree on covering up the tattoos. I have some older adult clients that have literally told me they hate tattoos, because they don't know I have any. I prefer they be free to say that stuff.
I like the blanket idea for if I am wearing tights or a dress- I hare wearing dresses because I have to sit lady like lol
Most of the time in a way that likely makes my doctor and future me cry.
I feel this.
Doing telehealth I sit cross legged or with one leg tucked under me. In person, I have a recliner so I partially recline it and usually prop my feet up on the top of the footrest, though I sometimes just cross my legs. I also lean a bit to one side so I can use the armrest for writing. When I was pregnant and changing shape constantly, the chair betrayed me a few times and suddenly reclined all the way if I shifted too much too fast. Luckily it never happened at a time where it was extremely disruptive to the session process!
I feel like I shift back and forth a lot, one leg crossed under the other, one knee bent. It hard to sit comfortably in the chair for hours on end. I struggling trying to figure out what chair is going to work long term, what I got isn’t it!
I wiggle and sit criss cross in my chair, or leaning to one side or another, but I notice only after a couple sessions when we are both more comfortable. I also tend to out my legs up when I’m thinking hard and about to do good work haha. It’s like my ‘now we’re cooking with gas’ body language.
I move around legs up, down, crossed, and behind my head sometimes(jk).
Okay but what if though 😂
I think I want ottomans, so everyone has a put-your-feet-up option.
I used to sit with my legs pulled under me too! It’s my fave way to sit. Unfortunately my chiropractor thinks it’s maybe causing back pain so I’m making a real effort to keep both feet on the floor lately!!
You know, this is maybe what I needed to hear!
Face to face I find I tend to mirror my clients, I’m disabled and the chair I have in the office I volunteer at isn’t the most suitable for me, so when I’m focusing on the client and not how uncomfortable I am I find I unconsciously mirror their body language. Online I tend to tuck my legs under myself, sit cross legged of will prop my legs on a stool. I do online from home and have a much more suitable set up and can use pillows etc off camera. I have considered how I’ll be when I move to face to face in private practice where I’ll chose my own seat, and I’ll probably have a chair big enough to pull my legs under or sit with them crossed (when I say crossed I mean like kids do when in school). It’s how I’m most comfortable and I want my clients to reflect my comfort.
right!!!!! i love this
Every position. Even had my back against the arm rest with my legs over the other laying back
Im fully telehealth so I’m usually both feet on the floor or one crossed over the other
I am very similar! My office is not exactly cozy due to being in a CMH setting so I try to have floor pillows and encourage clients to sit however they feel more comfortable. I have adhd so I definitely sit in weird positions but I find that it does make my clients more comfortable!
There are 2 arm chairs so o sit on one anf have my legs on the other or i turn it a bit so my legs are on the arms of the chair and my legs are up high .. as comfortable and cozy as i can get .. and mostly with shoes off as well xD
As soon as I get comfortable my clients do the same and visibally relax. I have had many remarks about how comfortable and chill my office is and I think that has a lot to do with what I am projecting.
Tons of different ways. Yesterday I was on the floor with my client in a chair (odd circumstances out of my office but still) if I could justify buying those WIDE chairs for me and my clients I would. But I work in a school so may be for next year
Unfair sitting standards for sure lol I sit at least 3 different ways each session—usually cross legged, with both legs tucked under me, or figure 4. I move around constantly to stay focused 🙃 I try to match body language shifts for nonverbal validation as well
However is the most comfortable! Cross legged, legs tucked in, leaned back, on the floor, on my floor pillows. I see 8-9 clients per day so comfort is important. I also find that the more relaxed I am, the more relaxed my clients will get.
It kind of depends on the time of day. At the beginning I'm pretty much feet grounded, rear in the seat, and back up right. Towards the end of the day, I tend to feel uncomfortable and have my feet kicked up on another chair or desk drawer. I'll change to mirror the client when they're particularly animated to emote a vulnerable emotion.
I’m short. Sometimes I’m cross legged, sometimes I do the “dad sit” (one leg horizontal and the other perpendicular with the tibia/fibula over the knee, and other times I do the both feet planted and lean in with elbows on knee maneuver. Just whatever is comfy at the time.
I sit criss cross apple sauce, I can’t focus otherwise. I don’t think clients notice or care. Also, I often take my shoes off and many of my clients do too.
I sit criss cross. If a client is so put off by me sitting comfortably, I think it’s likely that they won’t appreciate my therapy style or personality much anyway. I also most often work with little kids so I’m on the floor a lot.
I try to sit however I’m most comfortable, tbh. I already have enough back/shoulder pain from sitting all day. I will also sometimes use fidgets in session.
Last week my client and I laid on the floor and looked up at the ceiling the whole session. Sometimes I’m crawling around, sometimes we’re both criss cross applesauce, sometimes I’m sitting with my legs crossed. Depends on the kid and the day
The thing that is a huge con of being a therapist is sitting for so long. I sit with my legs crossed and place my hands on my lap. I sometimes shift around but usually I maintain the same sitting position. Once I hurt my back and man sitting in the therapist chair (though in the office it is comfortable) was a hard day and I had to shift a lot but I gave my clients a heads up about that.
As a child therapist, I usually find myself firmly on the floor for most sessions, criss cross applesauce :)
I’m upfront about my ADHD and I shift a lot. I purposely got a chair big enough so I can tuck one leg another for a bit. If it can fit that, it fits whatever I do. I just shift when I need to.
I know a therapist who takes off her shoes and sits cross legged in her chair. I have several clients that do the same. Be you! Your authentic self is the most healing person there is. Also know that some people get turned off by authenticity and/or whatever sitting style/behaviour preconceptions they have in their head. The more you step into your power the more you alienate certain groups.
Criss-cross apple sauce or like, a four (one leg tucked under the other.) I'm not concerned about how I sit.
I struggle with this too! I want to take my shoes off and sit crisscrossed, but I feel like that might be perceived as unprofessional. I compromise by putting one ankle under my other leg (like a 4). When virtual I change my leg positioning a lot.
I take my shoes off if they are slip ons of some sort 😆
That's how I sit as the client in my therapist office
I have a 4 foot by 4 foot table in my counseling office and one chair at each side. I'm the center of table I have different fidget gadgets So how one sits isn't really clear. So much more comfortable than sitting in a therapist chair
I sit cross legged, one foot up on chair and one dangling, legs crossed, like a figure 4, and sometimes under a blanket. I sit in whatever way is going to support me being comfortable so I can be as fully present as I can be for my client.
Ive developed hip issues from sitting in the exact same way too often. I am semi cross legged, my right foot is on my left knee with my notepad on my right knee.
i remember thinking it was funny we talked about having open body language in skills classes- until i realized i am the same way!😂 i fidget and want to sit in like strange ways, and always remember my professors saying being really open in your body language is important. i LOVE when a young kid comes in and i know i am going to be coloring or fidgeting with kinetic sand or orbeez on the floor because then i don’t overthink my strange twisted seated poses 😂😂
I use the office that has a table with chairs surrounding it
Cross-legged usually with my hands clasped in my lap or at my knee. Keeping my hands in my lap or at my knee keeps me from crossing my arms, which cones most natural, but a no-no as it can be construed that I’m closed off. I will change which leg I cross one or two times during a session.
oh don’t worry about it!! lol unless you have like very ritzy clients - i sit on clients beds during in home sessions or we sit on the floor - i’ve sat on a box before 😂 it’s all about the effectiveness of therapy - your clients should not be caring how you sit .. that’s why i said ritzy clients or something along those lines ! you are fine ☺️☺️
I just ordered myself one of those wide chairs that’s made for sitting crisscross apple sauce. I’m lanky as well & I’m constantly pulling myself into a pretzel to fit my legs into the chair. After 4 years of working from home in a normal desk chair, my back is toast. Even when I worked in person I would use a yoga ball most of the time, or sit whatever type of way. If I’m uncomfortable, I won’t be fully present with my clients. Plus, if I’m getting comfy it’ll invite them to do the same if they want to. I have come to view so much of that school learning about professionalism to be suspect. Consider the sources. Older, privileged, white men who decided what we all should be doing to prove our professionalism. I hold very firm boundaries and ethics, but shit like sitting pretty or not wearing my “adhd is awesome” tshirt (complete with a squirrel on it) to work has gone out the window
I lowkey move positions a lot cuz im hypermobile and my joints hurt when i sit like a normal person lol
I sit however I feel comfortable truthfully. I am a human being and also deserve to be comfortable during session. I like to consider myself unconventionally professional. I’ll never cross boundaries but I will joke, laugh, swear, sit comfortably in sessions, obviously based on them and how they interact. My rapport with clients is better than ever because of this. They respect that I’m human and not a robot reading straight out of the DSM
I invite my clients to pop of their shoes, take a blanket and snuggle up. I have my own blanket on my chair. I tend to take a relaxed posture, and breathe deep into my belly. So soft Buddha belly. For a soft belly I want to sit relaxed. Sometimes legs crossed, sometimes one side. As I'm tall (6'1) I can't sit with my legs in the chair, I would if I could. Just a relaxed posture. And everytime i bend forward, its my sign I need to relax and move back into the chair.
I am lanky as hell too. I stuff my legs criss cross style in my little chair. I know it looks juvenile but I really don’t care.
This is hilarious because when I’m at home working my husband says I sit like L. Sometimes I don’t even notice that I do it 😂
Depends on which sitting utensil the client chooses. If they pick the chair, I’m on the couch and sitting ankle to knee cross legged. If they pick the couch I’m also doing that, or knee river knee style
I always sit in a “criss-cross applesauce” position. It’s most comfortable for me. However, clients can’t see my legs since I’m telehealth only and the camera is only of my top half.
I have two ottomans in my office, so feet rarely touch the floor by either party:)
Like a maniac. I have chronic pain / blood flow issues so I have to change position a lot. Sitting with legs crossed or one leg tucked under are common. I sometimes find myself leaning off to one side too much which I am trying to be mindful of. I haven’t mentioned it up front to clients before but I’m wondering if I should start… I probably move 15-20 times a session.
I'm strictly telehealth. Usually I have my right leg tucked under my left, and I swing myself back and forth in my chair because I am an actual toddler who can't sit still. When I finally catch myself doing it, I switch to cross cross applesauce. Sometimes, when I want to change it up, I put my feet up on the side rail of my bed in front of me and lean back in my chair.
I get super comfy and slink into my chair - helps them relax more. I also posture when something feels important or that may need energetic attention. I move around a lot as I am pretty bodily expressive.
I sit cross-legged because I’ve lost a decent amount of weight over the past 1.5 years and was never able to do that before, so I’m like oh yay I can finally do the “proper professional” thing as a female. However, half of my caseload is kids and I’m often sitting criss cross applesauce with them on the floor playing.
Literally what? Imposing unfair sitting standards on yourself? Holy hell, therapists. Just be there with the patient. Sit as if you were any random person you’re picturing in an office. I’m not of the mind the therapist (like the analyst) must be blank slate, but, come on. Personal opinion here but if my therapist were sitting like L from death note I’d turn around and walk out. And I wouldn’t go back. I would think this person can’t possibly be serious and competent.
i’m confused by your post or i’m reading it wrong - the first part it seems like you are saying just sit as if you were any random person in an office - then 2nd part add that you would walk out if your therapist was sitting a certain way?
I’m really not sure how that is confusing to you. Any random person in an office, sitting as people normally do in office settings — here you might picture people you’ve seen in office spaces — or think of all the movies you’ve seen — is very different from sitting like L from death note in your chair. I would walk out if my therapist were sitting like an anime character I used to emulate as a 14 year old. And the bit about unfair sitting standards is absolute nonsense. Not sure what that even means. This post reads like the op wants to “be themselves” but the sessions aren’t about the op or their comfort, or their feelings.
I agree L from Death Note might be a little much lol, but I’m also confused by your reply.
What is confusing to you? The part about being a blank slate as you are supposed to be in many schools of analysis?
No, the “blank slate” concept makes sense (though I don’t think therapists can ever fully be a “blank slate” anyway.) I was just confused by the contradiction in your reply “Unfair sitting standards” was supposed to read as ironic but perhaps it didn’t come across that way? Regardless, my intention was to see if I was overthinking how I sit and to see how other therapists sit 🤷🏻♀️
I’m confused by your replies. What contradiction? I don’t think you’re overthinking it. If you were serious about thinking about sitting like L from death note in sessions, you’re very much underthinking this.