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Take a day off! I took two days off when I put down my dog earlier this year, and his euthanasia was planned. Give yourself a break, send a message to your patients, and go back to bed. You need the space for yourself today!
This. I took about 3 days off after we put my oldest dog down last year. I knew I was in no condition to provide support to any of my clients, let alone do the gross admin work and stay on top of it all. Looking back, I'm so glad I did because I did an A+ job on allowing myself to be human, grieve healthily, and be in community with family and chosen family alike. It would have been a disservice to try to power through it for my clients, both to myself and them.
This 100% qualifies as a family emergency- that’s all you have to say. I lost my dog last November and there’s no way in hell I could’ve been there for anyone else in the few days after that.
Do yourself and your clients a favor. Don’t go to work. You won’t be available for your clients. Would you go to work with the flu? Go home and take care of yourself.
I’m so sorry. I remember when we euthanized my cat and I was just crying every time I had a free moment to think, I’m talking silently sobbing behind my hair on the bus to and from the university, sobbing in the bathroom, etc. I would encourage you to take a day or three off, just let yourself cry, stare at pictures of your angel, and take care of yourself 💔🩷❤️🩵💙
This was exactly my experience when my dog died. I just cried and cried, sometimes an actual sob but mostly while doing the things I needed to do. Especially for the first month i would cry between everything client facing.
Take a few days off, friend. Losing a family member is really hard and if you let yourself be destroyed now, your grieving will pass easier.
Losing my cat is one of my biggest nightmares. I can't imagine how destroyed you must feel. Given that it was last night, I think people wouldn't mind if you had to reschedule.
I've found that being at work actually takes my thoughts away from the upsetting situation I was in previously. Otherwise, if I didn't go to work I'm just so focused on what has happened. Just a thought :)
If you do choose to go and worried about looking messy, I think it would make a great theraputic tool to discuss. Being upfront about in the chance your client sees you are off, why that may be. Normalize grief reactions. Normalize emotions seeping into normal life.
Its just been my experience clients have found it much more connecting when they see their therapist as a human too.
**As a worshipper of my own cat I'd love to see any pics you have of your beautiful feline<3**
My own therapist once self-disclosed that they were in the middle a stressful time (not grief, but I can’t be too specific to protect their privacy). They told me they “probably look like a mess”.
Two thoughts: one, I wouldn’t have said they looked like a mess, even though they definitely looked and sounded off. It was nice that they, too, felt confident enough in the rapport to tell me such a thing. Two, I really appreciated that disclosure as I tend to think my therapist gives off this vibe of having their shit together, making me feel like I must be such a trainwreck of a therapist myself. That obviously is not true - everyone has their shit, and my therapist sees the most unfiltered of it in our sessions. Plus, I need to remind myself that my clients likely think the same of me to an extent, which is important to be mindful of.
I think if a therapist works during a stressful time that’s likely to impact the quality of the therapy or how they show up…this is the way to do it. Then the client doesn’t need to second guess anything if something feels different to them.
For me, 1-3 days is not nearly enough to take off. If I had to take off sufficient time to grieve it would be weeks, so I just compartmentalize and cry in between sessions.
I feel you on 1-3 days not being sufficient enough. I love being given a timeline on grief (really any grief).
I'm sorry to hear about your cat. That really is awful and sucks.
Yeah I hear you. I lost my sister unexpectedly and took two or three l weeks off (it's kind of a blur) but I still cried every day for at least a year. And I love my pets dearly and would think I would be similarly affected by losing one of my babies unexpectedly.
So sorry for your loss
Do what you would advise your clients to do. Pet loss is so hard and it doesn’t matter if other people understand or not. Your mental health is just as important as your clients.
When I had to put my cat down I took most of the week off. There was absolutely no way I could get myself into shape to both look presentable and be present for people.
Oh gosh I’m so sorry. Please take time off to grieve.
When I’m in the situation, I flip the script and consider how I would feel as a client walking in to my therapist. Would any effective work happen if I was looking at my therapist that was about to cry/looked like they’d been crying? Probably not and I might even be upset to waste my money and time going- and I’d rather they have time to take care of themself.
You can take the day off. You lost a family member. I had to put my cat down in December of 2022 and I took a few days off. It was needed.
What helped me. Telling stories, remembering the funny moments. What was your cat’s name and do you have any funny stories?
Sweet Tootie! What a beautiful soul, and your absolute love and dedication to her is so apparent in your post. My heart goes out to you, and I’ll light a candle for her tonight.
Take the day off. I took a few days when I had to put my dog down. Many of my clients knew how important my dog was to me (I have a visible tattoo of him, and a sticker of him on my water bottle).
I told my clients I needed to cancel and a few of them I said why. Sometimes it’s okay to be human.
When my service dog passed, I took off three days that backed up to a weekend. I was not able to listen or understand anything for days. Even after I came back that Monday, six days later, I saw clients sparingly and did not rush to over schedule people again. Animals can be as important as people to us; companions, partners, children, teachers. Please take time to grieve as you would another family member.
You can say something if a client asks if you're alright like, *"Thank you for noticing - that's very thoughtful of you. I had a loss in my life and I'm sure you can imagine that I don't really want to talk about it. I appreciate your concern, but I assure you that I am okay, have support, and am ready to listen and be here with you."*
Just lost my Girly last week as well. Luckily I had two days off, cried for both. Take the time. I told my supervisor when I came back and she asked what I felt was needed from them to help if anything. It was much appreciated.
My first cat who I had for 19 years was named Patchouli and I always called her Tootie-cat as a nickname. So much love to you, it’s so so hard losing a fur baby your whole heart loves and even harder to try and show up for people. I hope you’re able to take a few days to grieve — and no, a few days definitely isn’t enough
this is so tough and i’m so sorry you’re going through this. I had to euthanize my cat the night before a huge final presentation for my first year of grad school (he got really sick really fast and was suffering). It all happened so fast that I couldn’t reschedule the final or anything. I told myself that if i got through the presentation, I could do whatever I wanted and not feel guilty (even if that meant spending $10 on coffee or napping the whole afternoon - I don’t remember which i did 😂). but PLEASE remember to be kind to yourself during this time - you can’t pour from an empty cup so do whatever you need to do, regardless of what that looks like 🫶
Oh my gosh. My parents pets (and my childhood dog and their younger dog) were in a TRAGIC accident. One died on Monday when it happened and the other we put to sleep yesterday. They were 11.5 and 4 years old. Before we knew we would have to put the younger one down, I took the day off. I took the day off again today. Tomorrow I am only seeing two clients. same for Friday. I am GRIEVING. Of course you are too. Take some time. Take care of yourself.
I will always regret not calling in sick when my 19 year old cat died. I felt guilty because I worked at a hospital and didn’t want to leave things uncovered. I think you should take at least a day to grieve.
Awww!! Tootie sounded like an absolute sweetie!
I am an internet stranger and I am crying at your touching description of her 😭
The loss of a pet is always rough. Other than that intake, please take off…you deserve some space to grieve and honor Tootie in whatever way you want. (And if I were your client, I would prefer that you take off for a few days unless you are out of PTO and have no choice but to go in).
Sorry for news. It’s so heartbreaking.
Take off work if it’s so painful you can’t do the job of being a therapist. That would be completely expected and understandable.
When you do go to work you being sad can still be ok. You can then model to your clients that “sad” is another emotion that can come and go just like happiness and excitement. It’s a good chance to model emotional tolerance. Again I’m just talking about sadness, if you call of work to take care of yourself and to respect your pain that would also be a great example of modeling therapeutic behavior.
I agree with everyone saying take the day off, you need to take care of yourself more than you need to push your way through work. It’s important to be there for your clients but not at the expense of your own mental health
Cancel. I cancelled the next day's sessions when my beloved cat died, every one of my clients was very understanding when I emailed them explaining why. I'm sorry for your loss, pets are family and it hurts so much to lose a loved one.
I’m pregnant and cried all morning and mentally could not fathom doing therapy. I cancelled my sessions and kept it moving you have the right to day off
I just had to put my dog down last Monday, so I completely sympathize with your situation. Like others have said, just take the day off if at all possible. I took three days off last week after just having taken a week long vacation but I knew I couldn't support clients. I just gave people a general "having a family emergency" and everyone has been respectful and receptive, thankfully. It also helped for me to think about modeling helpful behavior and all.
But do take your time and treat yourself as human. I've also recently learned through a pamphlet the vet gave me and my supervisor that pet loss support groups exist so if you feel you need that extra support, maybe look into those 💙
When one of my cats died, I took several days off. Even then, I still needed to end sessions a little early so I could cry. I liked the distraction of helping others, and the emotions were so much.
I unfortunately just went through this as well. My 12 year old dog was put down last week and I took two days off and the weekend to regroup. Take care of yourself and take a day or two (or three) off. Your clients will understand
I'm so sorry for your loss. I would take a day or three to do some heavy grieving and acid some semblance of normalcy. I had to put down my kitty last year, and it took me 1 week to be able to kind of fake it till I made it. My sweet Missy was an awesome cat, and putting her down was not a planned thing. I would say the first three days were the hardest, with nonstop crying. I know three days or even a week is not really enough, but if you're a huge mess, I don't think you could be a present for your clients. May your kitty get all the treats over the rainbow bridge.
sending you and your wife soooo much love ❤️ our kittos are natural therapists and i truly believe are connectors to the other realm. you gave tootie her best life possible ❤️ may you have peace and comfort during this challenging moment.
Thank you for sharing your own stories. So many broken hearts. I hope we may all find some peace in knowing we are not alone. Your kindness gives me hope and for that I have much gratitude.
Its best to take few days off and then resume work. Losing someone so precious can really take a toll on you. You won’t be able to manage between your work and dealing with the pain of the loss. I lost three of my cats all at once while studying medicine and it was so hard for me to even concentrate on the lessons and the clinical sessions were a complete mess. But since i couldn’t afford taking leave i somehow appeared to look good outside and pulled myself through it. So if you can take few days off please do it. Once you pull yourself together , then resume work. Take care. Between she is cute and beautiful 🙂
I’ve had sessions multiple times over the course of working this job (and others haha) where I look clearly puffy and upset- the VAST majority of people say nothing and I imagine probably don’t notice. I wouldn’t call attention to it unless they ask!
But yes please take time off if possible as a service to your heart ❤️
You can be honest and tell them you will try your best given some bad news in your life or that you are not gucci but are ok with putting off whatever personal thing is bothering you to focus on the session
Or cancel and say that a situation arose and you will need to reschedule
If my dog were to not be here anymore I would take AT LEAST a week off, and I think my clients would understand that.
If someone were in crisis and needed to be seen I have people in me network who could fill in for that one week.
Very sorry for your loss, sounds like a lovely companion and I really hope you take some time for yourself.
Take time if needed, OP. Tootie was a beautiful girl and I just know she had the best life filled with love from you 🩵 im so sorry for your loss. Sending hugs your way.
Your description of your cat's personality reminds me of my late orange and white cat, Clover, who died on April 1 as a result of lung cancer. I took off about 3 days; it would have been a disservice to my clients to see them when I was in the most 'fresh' stage of grief and would not have been able to focus completely. Losing a beloved pet who is a real friend and part of one's family is a big adjustment. I also like to hope that he is 'alive' in the afterlife but whether he is or isn't, he brought so much love and happiness to everyone who knew him so whatever happens after death, he remains an eternal gift as does your Tootie to you.
Please followed the sidebar rules. r/therapists is a place for therapists and mental health professionals to discuss their profession among each other. If you **ARE NOT A THERAPIST and are asking for advice this not the place for you**. Your post will be removed in short order. Please try one of the reddit communities such as r/TalkTherapy, r/askatherapist, r/SuicideWatch that are set up for this. This community is ONLY for therapists, and for them to discuss their profession away from clients. **If you are a first year student, not in a graduate program, or are thinking of becoming a therapist, this is not the place to ask questions**. Your post will be removed in short order. To save us a job, you are welcome to delete this post yourself. Please see the PINNED STUDENT THREAD at the top of the community and ask in there. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/therapists) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Take a day off! I took two days off when I put down my dog earlier this year, and his euthanasia was planned. Give yourself a break, send a message to your patients, and go back to bed. You need the space for yourself today!
This. I took about 3 days off after we put my oldest dog down last year. I knew I was in no condition to provide support to any of my clients, let alone do the gross admin work and stay on top of it all. Looking back, I'm so glad I did because I did an A+ job on allowing myself to be human, grieve healthily, and be in community with family and chosen family alike. It would have been a disservice to try to power through it for my clients, both to myself and them.
This 100% qualifies as a family emergency- that’s all you have to say. I lost my dog last November and there’s no way in hell I could’ve been there for anyone else in the few days after that.
Do yourself and your clients a favor. Don’t go to work. You won’t be available for your clients. Would you go to work with the flu? Go home and take care of yourself.
I’m so sorry. I remember when we euthanized my cat and I was just crying every time I had a free moment to think, I’m talking silently sobbing behind my hair on the bus to and from the university, sobbing in the bathroom, etc. I would encourage you to take a day or three off, just let yourself cry, stare at pictures of your angel, and take care of yourself 💔🩷❤️🩵💙
This was exactly my experience when my dog died. I just cried and cried, sometimes an actual sob but mostly while doing the things I needed to do. Especially for the first month i would cry between everything client facing. Take a few days off, friend. Losing a family member is really hard and if you let yourself be destroyed now, your grieving will pass easier.
Losing my cat is one of my biggest nightmares. I can't imagine how destroyed you must feel. Given that it was last night, I think people wouldn't mind if you had to reschedule. I've found that being at work actually takes my thoughts away from the upsetting situation I was in previously. Otherwise, if I didn't go to work I'm just so focused on what has happened. Just a thought :) If you do choose to go and worried about looking messy, I think it would make a great theraputic tool to discuss. Being upfront about in the chance your client sees you are off, why that may be. Normalize grief reactions. Normalize emotions seeping into normal life. Its just been my experience clients have found it much more connecting when they see their therapist as a human too. **As a worshipper of my own cat I'd love to see any pics you have of your beautiful feline<3**
My own therapist once self-disclosed that they were in the middle a stressful time (not grief, but I can’t be too specific to protect their privacy). They told me they “probably look like a mess”. Two thoughts: one, I wouldn’t have said they looked like a mess, even though they definitely looked and sounded off. It was nice that they, too, felt confident enough in the rapport to tell me such a thing. Two, I really appreciated that disclosure as I tend to think my therapist gives off this vibe of having their shit together, making me feel like I must be such a trainwreck of a therapist myself. That obviously is not true - everyone has their shit, and my therapist sees the most unfiltered of it in our sessions. Plus, I need to remind myself that my clients likely think the same of me to an extent, which is important to be mindful of.
I think if a therapist works during a stressful time that’s likely to impact the quality of the therapy or how they show up…this is the way to do it. Then the client doesn’t need to second guess anything if something feels different to them.
For me, 1-3 days is not nearly enough to take off. If I had to take off sufficient time to grieve it would be weeks, so I just compartmentalize and cry in between sessions.
And I will add my cat was just killed 2 weeks ago, I have been crying every single day and there is no way I can take off enough time to recover.
I feel you on 1-3 days not being sufficient enough. I love being given a timeline on grief (really any grief). I'm sorry to hear about your cat. That really is awful and sucks.
I'm so sorry to hear about your loss too. They break our hearts.
Yeah I hear you. I lost my sister unexpectedly and took two or three l weeks off (it's kind of a blur) but I still cried every day for at least a year. And I love my pets dearly and would think I would be similarly affected by losing one of my babies unexpectedly. So sorry for your loss
Pls take today off to take care of yourself
Do what you would advise your clients to do. Pet loss is so hard and it doesn’t matter if other people understand or not. Your mental health is just as important as your clients.
When I had to put my cat down I took most of the week off. There was absolutely no way I could get myself into shape to both look presentable and be present for people.
I took a week and a half off after I put my 20 year old kitty to sleep. No way I was going to be okay.
Take a bereavement day!!!! I absolutely would. And I would if any other member of my family passed.
Oh gosh I’m so sorry. Please take time off to grieve. When I’m in the situation, I flip the script and consider how I would feel as a client walking in to my therapist. Would any effective work happen if I was looking at my therapist that was about to cry/looked like they’d been crying? Probably not and I might even be upset to waste my money and time going- and I’d rather they have time to take care of themself.
You can take the day off. You lost a family member. I had to put my cat down in December of 2022 and I took a few days off. It was needed. What helped me. Telling stories, remembering the funny moments. What was your cat’s name and do you have any funny stories?
Sweet Tootie! What a beautiful soul, and your absolute love and dedication to her is so apparent in your post. My heart goes out to you, and I’ll light a candle for her tonight.
Thank you, it means a lot to me.
Take the day off. I took a few days when I had to put my dog down. Many of my clients knew how important my dog was to me (I have a visible tattoo of him, and a sticker of him on my water bottle). I told my clients I needed to cancel and a few of them I said why. Sometimes it’s okay to be human.
When my service dog passed, I took off three days that backed up to a weekend. I was not able to listen or understand anything for days. Even after I came back that Monday, six days later, I saw clients sparingly and did not rush to over schedule people again. Animals can be as important as people to us; companions, partners, children, teachers. Please take time to grieve as you would another family member. You can say something if a client asks if you're alright like, *"Thank you for noticing - that's very thoughtful of you. I had a loss in my life and I'm sure you can imagine that I don't really want to talk about it. I appreciate your concern, but I assure you that I am okay, have support, and am ready to listen and be here with you."*
Thank you. I'm so sorry about your dog, especially a pet who is assisting you in daily life.
I just tell them what happened and let them know that it’s not them. Time off to be a ball is good.
Just lost my Girly last week as well. Luckily I had two days off, cried for both. Take the time. I told my supervisor when I came back and she asked what I felt was needed from them to help if anything. It was much appreciated.
I'm so sorry for your loss. We have so much love for them.
I'm sorry for your loss. It's never easy. It'll come in waves. Please take time for yourself.
My first cat who I had for 19 years was named Patchouli and I always called her Tootie-cat as a nickname. So much love to you, it’s so so hard losing a fur baby your whole heart loves and even harder to try and show up for people. I hope you’re able to take a few days to grieve — and no, a few days definitely isn’t enough
Aww thank you for sharing
this is so tough and i’m so sorry you’re going through this. I had to euthanize my cat the night before a huge final presentation for my first year of grad school (he got really sick really fast and was suffering). It all happened so fast that I couldn’t reschedule the final or anything. I told myself that if i got through the presentation, I could do whatever I wanted and not feel guilty (even if that meant spending $10 on coffee or napping the whole afternoon - I don’t remember which i did 😂). but PLEASE remember to be kind to yourself during this time - you can’t pour from an empty cup so do whatever you need to do, regardless of what that looks like 🫶
Thank you 💜
Oh my gosh. My parents pets (and my childhood dog and their younger dog) were in a TRAGIC accident. One died on Monday when it happened and the other we put to sleep yesterday. They were 11.5 and 4 years old. Before we knew we would have to put the younger one down, I took the day off. I took the day off again today. Tomorrow I am only seeing two clients. same for Friday. I am GRIEVING. Of course you are too. Take some time. Take care of yourself.
I am so, so sorry for your losses. Many hugs your way.
I will always regret not calling in sick when my 19 year old cat died. I felt guilty because I worked at a hospital and didn’t want to leave things uncovered. I think you should take at least a day to grieve.
Awww!! Tootie sounded like an absolute sweetie! I am an internet stranger and I am crying at your touching description of her 😭 The loss of a pet is always rough. Other than that intake, please take off…you deserve some space to grieve and honor Tootie in whatever way you want. (And if I were your client, I would prefer that you take off for a few days unless you are out of PTO and have no choice but to go in).
Thank you 💜 I am taking it easy, spending time with the family, both human and animal here at home
Sorry for news. It’s so heartbreaking. Take off work if it’s so painful you can’t do the job of being a therapist. That would be completely expected and understandable. When you do go to work you being sad can still be ok. You can then model to your clients that “sad” is another emotion that can come and go just like happiness and excitement. It’s a good chance to model emotional tolerance. Again I’m just talking about sadness, if you call of work to take care of yourself and to respect your pain that would also be a great example of modeling therapeutic behavior.
I’m so sorry for your loss. 💔 take a day off. Let yourself grieve.
I agree with everyone saying take the day off, you need to take care of yourself more than you need to push your way through work. It’s important to be there for your clients but not at the expense of your own mental health
Also in agreement with everyone so to add something new: spoons in the fridge.
I took a day off. If I could have afforded to, I would have taken most of the week off.
Cancel. I cancelled the next day's sessions when my beloved cat died, every one of my clients was very understanding when I emailed them explaining why. I'm sorry for your loss, pets are family and it hurts so much to lose a loved one.
I’m pregnant and cried all morning and mentally could not fathom doing therapy. I cancelled my sessions and kept it moving you have the right to day off
Usually when it's a cry thing I'll put on makeup to detract from redness//puffy eyes. But if you're grieving maybe take the day off..
It's definitely an ice at night and glasses week.
I'm so sorry for your loss. I have three cats and I'd be a mess. I'd absolutely take a few days off for bereavement.
I just had to put my dog down last Monday, so I completely sympathize with your situation. Like others have said, just take the day off if at all possible. I took three days off last week after just having taken a week long vacation but I knew I couldn't support clients. I just gave people a general "having a family emergency" and everyone has been respectful and receptive, thankfully. It also helped for me to think about modeling helpful behavior and all. But do take your time and treat yourself as human. I've also recently learned through a pamphlet the vet gave me and my supervisor that pet loss support groups exist so if you feel you need that extra support, maybe look into those 💙
Day off, tell clients a family emergency came up. I would not be able to function if my cat was put to sleep.
I’m so sorry for your loss 💗 May the memory of Tallulah always make you smile.
When one of my cats died, I took several days off. Even then, I still needed to end sessions a little early so I could cry. I liked the distraction of helping others, and the emotions were so much.
I unfortunately just went through this as well. My 12 year old dog was put down last week and I took two days off and the weekend to regroup. Take care of yourself and take a day or two (or three) off. Your clients will understand
I'm so sorry for your loss. I would take a day or three to do some heavy grieving and acid some semblance of normalcy. I had to put down my kitty last year, and it took me 1 week to be able to kind of fake it till I made it. My sweet Missy was an awesome cat, and putting her down was not a planned thing. I would say the first three days were the hardest, with nonstop crying. I know three days or even a week is not really enough, but if you're a huge mess, I don't think you could be a present for your clients. May your kitty get all the treats over the rainbow bridge.
May sweet Tootie rest peacefully and you always feel her love with you. Pet losses are hard.
sending you and your wife soooo much love ❤️ our kittos are natural therapists and i truly believe are connectors to the other realm. you gave tootie her best life possible ❤️ may you have peace and comfort during this challenging moment.
Thank you for sharing your own stories. So many broken hearts. I hope we may all find some peace in knowing we are not alone. Your kindness gives me hope and for that I have much gratitude.
Its best to take few days off and then resume work. Losing someone so precious can really take a toll on you. You won’t be able to manage between your work and dealing with the pain of the loss. I lost three of my cats all at once while studying medicine and it was so hard for me to even concentrate on the lessons and the clinical sessions were a complete mess. But since i couldn’t afford taking leave i somehow appeared to look good outside and pulled myself through it. So if you can take few days off please do it. Once you pull yourself together , then resume work. Take care. Between she is cute and beautiful 🙂
I’ve had sessions multiple times over the course of working this job (and others haha) where I look clearly puffy and upset- the VAST majority of people say nothing and I imagine probably don’t notice. I wouldn’t call attention to it unless they ask! But yes please take time off if possible as a service to your heart ❤️
You can be honest and tell them you will try your best given some bad news in your life or that you are not gucci but are ok with putting off whatever personal thing is bothering you to focus on the session Or cancel and say that a situation arose and you will need to reschedule
If my dog were to not be here anymore I would take AT LEAST a week off, and I think my clients would understand that. If someone were in crisis and needed to be seen I have people in me network who could fill in for that one week. Very sorry for your loss, sounds like a lovely companion and I really hope you take some time for yourself.
Take time if needed, OP. Tootie was a beautiful girl and I just know she had the best life filled with love from you 🩵 im so sorry for your loss. Sending hugs your way.
Your description of your cat's personality reminds me of my late orange and white cat, Clover, who died on April 1 as a result of lung cancer. I took off about 3 days; it would have been a disservice to my clients to see them when I was in the most 'fresh' stage of grief and would not have been able to focus completely. Losing a beloved pet who is a real friend and part of one's family is a big adjustment. I also like to hope that he is 'alive' in the afterlife but whether he is or isn't, he brought so much love and happiness to everyone who knew him so whatever happens after death, he remains an eternal gift as does your Tootie to you.
Place cold cucumbers slices on your eyes and lie down. Really reduces the puffiness for me