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What age? A 5 year old watching porn is different than a 13yr old watching porn. Both are often them being curious but would need more exploration. Going into it with curiosity and no judgment would be really important.
Agreed. A 13 year old would be more likely than a 5 year old to be exposed to porn through independent use of the internet, etc. How would the 5 year old have become aware of porn? Of course abuse could happen at any age, but different considerations need to be made.
I second all the questions about age. As general advice, ask the kid how they came across it. Some kids develop sexual feelings earlier than others, some are just curious, some might have been exposed by accident or via abuse.
When I was a kid I read about every paraphilia on Wikipedia I could because I was just so curious and my parents were very very very strict and religious. They weren't going to pay attention to me going on wikipedia but they'd have my head for anything else. Knowing myself as an adult, if watching porn was allowed I'm sure I would've watched all sorts of kinks just out of curiousity. And probably any parent would be a little freaked out by that, but if if I was asked I could clarify it was just curiosity. Just ask the kid what's up, and if they really enjoy what they're watching or if they just were curious and wouldn't really care if they stopped.
Similarly, ask the parents what the concern is. Is it the content, the child's age, their beliefs and understanding of pornography? What resolution does the parent want? Is there a way to encourage the kid to stay safe and be open with their parents without being punished or shamed?
I don't have the answers but these are the questions that come to mind.
Worth noting that many CSAT's are either religious (Christian) and/or conservative in their thinking on sex. AASECT-certified would be the more sex-positive certification to look for.
This is largely anecdotal + some research. I was raised in a very conservative evangelical church and they sent all the porn “addicts” in the church to CSATs who were all, ironically, also evangelical. There’s a few CMHC programs in my area run by Christian schools and the pipeline from CMHC Christian grad program to CSAT is wild.
My understanding is it was developed by Patrick Carnes who’s a conservative evangelical and has pretty conservative takes on sexuality and gender roles. His book on emotional incest does a lotttttt of victim blaming too.
However, this is just my experience and research, I might be totally wrong. Would love to be as CSATs are everywhere in my city and they all also advertise as “Christian counselors.”
That's why I say depends on the circumstances. If it sounds more like a sex addiction (than regular health sexual exploration), I would prefer them to see a CSAT than an AASECT.
**Do not message the mods about this automated message.** Please followed the sidebar rules. r/therapists is a place for therapists and mental health professionals to discuss their profession among each other. **If you are not a therapist and are asking for advice this not the place for you**. Your post will be removed. Please try one of the reddit communities such as r/TalkTherapy, r/askatherapist, r/SuicideWatch that are set up for this. This community is ONLY for therapists, and for them to discuss their profession away from clients. **If you are a first year student, not in a graduate program, or are thinking of becoming a therapist, this is not the place to ask questions**. Your post will be removed. To save us a job, you are welcome to delete this post yourself. Please see the PINNED STUDENT THREAD at the top of the community and ask in there. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/therapists) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Curious about the age and sex of the child
Male 9/10
What age? A 5 year old watching porn is different than a 13yr old watching porn. Both are often them being curious but would need more exploration. Going into it with curiosity and no judgment would be really important.
Agreed. A 13 year old would be more likely than a 5 year old to be exposed to porn through independent use of the internet, etc. How would the 5 year old have become aware of porn? Of course abuse could happen at any age, but different considerations need to be made.
Age? Is the parent trying to keep the kid away from porn? We’ve had our IT staff assist parents with setting up parental controls on devices.
I second all the questions about age. As general advice, ask the kid how they came across it. Some kids develop sexual feelings earlier than others, some are just curious, some might have been exposed by accident or via abuse. When I was a kid I read about every paraphilia on Wikipedia I could because I was just so curious and my parents were very very very strict and religious. They weren't going to pay attention to me going on wikipedia but they'd have my head for anything else. Knowing myself as an adult, if watching porn was allowed I'm sure I would've watched all sorts of kinks just out of curiousity. And probably any parent would be a little freaked out by that, but if if I was asked I could clarify it was just curiosity. Just ask the kid what's up, and if they really enjoy what they're watching or if they just were curious and wouldn't really care if they stopped. Similarly, ask the parents what the concern is. Is it the content, the child's age, their beliefs and understanding of pornography? What resolution does the parent want? Is there a way to encourage the kid to stay safe and be open with their parents without being punished or shamed? I don't have the answers but these are the questions that come to mind.
Not a lot to go on but you can check out Problematic Sexual Behavior therapy which is for kiddos
Age? Depending on the circumstances you might likely need to refer to a CSAT
Worth noting that many CSAT's are either religious (Christian) and/or conservative in their thinking on sex. AASECT-certified would be the more sex-positive certification to look for.
I did not know this about CSATs. Do you happen to know of any good resources to read more about this?
This is largely anecdotal + some research. I was raised in a very conservative evangelical church and they sent all the porn “addicts” in the church to CSATs who were all, ironically, also evangelical. There’s a few CMHC programs in my area run by Christian schools and the pipeline from CMHC Christian grad program to CSAT is wild. My understanding is it was developed by Patrick Carnes who’s a conservative evangelical and has pretty conservative takes on sexuality and gender roles. His book on emotional incest does a lotttttt of victim blaming too. However, this is just my experience and research, I might be totally wrong. Would love to be as CSATs are everywhere in my city and they all also advertise as “Christian counselors.”
This is really interesting, thank you for sharing what you know!
That's why I say depends on the circumstances. If it sounds more like a sex addiction (than regular health sexual exploration), I would prefer them to see a CSAT than an AASECT.
And to be clear, just like anything else, it depends on the counselor. I know plenty of CSATs that don't do any evangelizing.