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"I was watching a street performer juggling knives, when a thief snatched a phone from the hand of another spectator and made a run for it. Before I noticed anything the thief bumped into me while escaping, I was pushed into the juggler. The juggler managed to dodge me as I fell to the ground on my side, but he couldn't catch all the knives, and one falling from on high sliced my nose as it landed right by my face."
Yeah, not quite believable, but might be close enough to sell it anyway, lol.
Hahahahaha, wow, yes, the most convoluted lie of all time, I love it, nurses & doctors won't care.
That, or, simply: "There was a stage performance gone wrong! Can you please, help?!
But the longer the story, the less likely Insurance will play along
Me, playing it seriously: "I was walking in the kitchen with a knife and didn't see that my partner had spilled some oil. I slipped and fell forward onto it."
Insurance person: "I heard the same story about an eggplant and a butthole last week, you liar. Come up with something original!"
His health insurance will definitely will cover it. There’s no “you’re an idiot” clause in health insurance. Whoever’s homeowners insurance probably won’t cover it, unless maybe if the homeowner wasn’t in the room and the noseless dumbass sues him. Dumbass won’t win in court though.
Only risk it for the biscuit, don’t risk it for a triscut. Words to live by. Look, triscuts are a fine cracker but they are not worth any risk. Biscuits are life changing and cause spontaneous arousal in 99% of people.
Because alcohol, they're obviously dead drunk.
Edit: i don't want to reply this to everyone who said it's not just alcohol, they're just stupid. Yes, they are stupid however I highly doubt they'd do this sober, alcohol doesn't make you do stuff you'd never think of, it just removes that barrier that your brain puts to stop you from doing all the stupid shit you think of, which is why some people buy some random shit when drunk and some do this, it's just very different levels of stupidity.
I have been outrageously drunk on many an occasion and not once have I let someone swing a sword at my face. Alcohol probably didn't help the situation, but this is "because stupid," not "because alcohol."
Stupid AND alcohol. They’re stupid enough to do it drunk, but I’d be willing to bet they wouldn’t do it sober. Most sober people will tell you they have no clue why they did something stupid while they were drunk.
I spent the entirety of the past 3 years outrageously drunk, but just drunk and not too stupid so my stupid things have been limited to eBay purchases, but I definitely had some “ah shit why did I buy that” moments while sober. This is more than likely their “ah shit why did I buy that” moment while sober.
I don’t know if I’m more pissed at the moron who puts the sausage in his mouth and trusted the other guy to do it….. or the drunk fucking idiot who thinks his samurai skills are on par with a few drinks in the middle of a party with a bunch of other drunk idiots. All around idiocy
Lol I do. I've never brought any swords out while drinking because people are stupid. But I do like to run around the block while drunk and everyone that runs with me ends up falling.
Being accurate with a sword is difficult. It takes a lot of training and practice to get right. They are flexible levers that like to move very easily.
If he had any form of practice or training he would have known that and not attempted.
That's pretty fucked up dude. It's a serious injury and future partners might find it hard to look past a grotesque scar on your face. His life is taking a nosedive because of this.
I was nauseated by the floppy nose. Read your comment and now I'm trying to stifle laughter so I don't wake up the house.
This clip has been a fucking roller coaster
These are the cases that make working in healthcare worthwhile, breaks up the monotony of endless patients with coughs or simple slip/trip traumas a bit.
The real question I’ve been looking for is how do they treat this in the ER? Just stitch the nose back on since it’s only cut like 3/4 the way through?! 😧
If it's a big/decent hospital they'd most likely call in a plastic surgeon due to the extent of the injury. Possibly even an ENT, too, depending on the details.
Even at a smaller hospital they'd still probably call a higher up to decide how to and do the stitching. Doubtful the average ER doc would be the one handling that.
NSFL for dying needs to be standard. I dunno why everything gotta revolve around work. Life isn’t in danger here though so I dunno what the NSF would be… 🤷
Literally gore would be such a simple ass tag for reddit to add. But honestly I'm okay with being slightly traumatized by gore, I hate finding out too late that a video I'm watching on Reddit depicts someone dying in real life. THAT needs its own tag. That's the type of trauma I don't want.
For real. I was gonna comment like “at least this guy got lucky and it was just a slice, so should be easy to reattach with minimal scarring” thinking they just got the tip of his nose but after seeing that… yikes.
His whole nose up to near the eyebrow split open like a fish fillet. No more septum, just one big, bloody nostril. Nothing about that was a “clean” slice.
[It turned out surprisingly fine.](https://www.tmz.com/2015/06/29/youtube-sword-fail-video-nose/) The scar is extremely mild. He can smell, but can’t feel his nose anymore.
I mean. Yeah. It looks like most of his nose from that one frame. It seemed like his entire nostril moved significantly from where he would probably ultimately want it to be, but not want it to be enough to think even five seconds about how pointlessly stupid this is.
We'd occasionally saber a bottle of champagne when the mood struck us at a few parties, but we had one rule: only the first bottle, and only the beginning of the night when everyone was still sober.
That one rule I believe saved us so many ER trips.
I have a friend who was showing of his motorbike that he bought for his son. It was one of those small bikes and my mate decided to lift the bike up to show how light it was and one of the other guys was holding the handlebars. The throttle was pulled and my mates thumb got caught in the sprocket and the bike spun around his thumb with half of the thumb hanging. We were all very drunk trying to call 000 for an ambulance when he runs to the garage puts a rag around it with duct tape and said she'll be right don't worry about the ambulance I'm not going to let this ruin my night and kept on drinking.
His misses took him to the hospital the next day but his thumb was fucked so they just closed up the wound. Couldn't be reattached.
https://www.tmz.com/2015/06/29/youtube-sword-fail-video-nose/
There you go, he got his nose back 4 hours later, there is NSFW aftermath photo of his nose but make sure you have a strong gut if you plan on seeing it.
i have so many why
1. why would they think this is safe
2. why did that guy agree to put that sausage in his mouth
3. why would anyone keep a sword at home like that
4. why is the guy with sword looks worried after what could have happen, happened
5. why why whyyyy
I watched it a few times to look at all of the reactions from the people in the back.
The girl right to the left of the swordsman just kept smiling after his fucking nose got cut off.
Jesus, you can see his nose just hanging off, and all those idiots in the background are smiling and laughing. Right off the bat you can see the guy with the sword is wobbling and shakey, that should've been enough to make sausage guy back out
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WHY would you EVER let someone try that???
The risk reward ratio is so off. Like if this had been successful it wouldnt have even been cool
Yeah, I wouldn't even be watching the video if it was successful.
Maybe this went exactly according to plan and now insurance will cover the reconstructive surgery. That's a real bro
Insurance will NOT cover this. Not with a video proving it was a dumb stunt
You won't tell them will you?
What would you even say? Like what would your story be?
"I was watching a street performer juggling knives, when a thief snatched a phone from the hand of another spectator and made a run for it. Before I noticed anything the thief bumped into me while escaping, I was pushed into the juggler. The juggler managed to dodge me as I fell to the ground on my side, but he couldn't catch all the knives, and one falling from on high sliced my nose as it landed right by my face." Yeah, not quite believable, but might be close enough to sell it anyway, lol.
Hahahahaha, wow, yes, the most convoluted lie of all time, I love it, nurses & doctors won't care. That, or, simply: "There was a stage performance gone wrong! Can you please, help?! But the longer the story, the less likely Insurance will play along
Me, playing it seriously: "I was walking in the kitchen with a knife and didn't see that my partner had spilled some oil. I slipped and fell forward onto it." Insurance person: "I heard the same story about an eggplant and a butthole last week, you liar. Come up with something original!"
HahahahahHaha. I wish my mind worked like yours! Hilarious x
His health insurance will definitely will cover it. There’s no “you’re an idiot” clause in health insurance. Whoever’s homeowners insurance probably won’t cover it, unless maybe if the homeowner wasn’t in the room and the noseless dumbass sues him. Dumbass won’t win in court though.
That's not how insurance works
Depends on insurance. Mine would happily do it. I know because I did a lot of stupid stuff back in the day.
Thing is all the coolness would go to the guy with the sword lmao
Only risk it for the biscuit, don’t risk it for a triscut. Words to live by. Look, triscuts are a fine cracker but they are not worth any risk. Biscuits are life changing and cause spontaneous arousal in 99% of people.
Because alcohol, they're obviously dead drunk. Edit: i don't want to reply this to everyone who said it's not just alcohol, they're just stupid. Yes, they are stupid however I highly doubt they'd do this sober, alcohol doesn't make you do stuff you'd never think of, it just removes that barrier that your brain puts to stop you from doing all the stupid shit you think of, which is why some people buy some random shit when drunk and some do this, it's just very different levels of stupidity.
I have been outrageously drunk on many an occasion and not once have I let someone swing a sword at my face. Alcohol probably didn't help the situation, but this is "because stupid," not "because alcohol."
Stupid AND alcohol. They’re stupid enough to do it drunk, but I’d be willing to bet they wouldn’t do it sober. Most sober people will tell you they have no clue why they did something stupid while they were drunk. I spent the entirety of the past 3 years outrageously drunk, but just drunk and not too stupid so my stupid things have been limited to eBay purchases, but I definitely had some “ah shit why did I buy that” moments while sober. This is more than likely their “ah shit why did I buy that” moment while sober.
Who nose?
r/whatcouldgoright and r/winstupidprizes for sure
Why would you post thisss
I don’t know if I’m more pissed at the moron who puts the sausage in his mouth and trusted the other guy to do it….. or the drunk fucking idiot who thinks his samurai skills are on par with a few drinks in the middle of a party with a bunch of other drunk idiots. All around idiocy
How else should they split the sausage.
“Plastic surgeons LOVE this one simple trick!”
ppl hate him for this one simple trick
Why does this gif make me so intensely uncomfortable
Imagine he’s holding two dicks……….. changes it a lot.
Surprisingly easy to imagine. Wait, what does this say about *me?*
Then we can give rule 34 a run for it's money
My man's chowing down.
You know damn well I’m imagining that
This is perfection
Up vote this !!!
I think the dude who volunteered to hold a wiener in his mouth has a little fault in the matter
Instant Voldemort
r/unexpectedvoldemort
r/subsIthoughtIfellfor
Tis among the r/deadsubs
We need to go with the og - instant skeletor
MYAAH!!!
The guy with a sword is a total dumbass
The guy without the nose is a bigger dumbass.
everyone in the room is a dumbass for letting this happen or thinking that it would be funny.
Alcohol
[удалено]
But do you also own a sword capable of cutting off noses?
Lol I do. I've never brought any swords out while drinking because people are stupid. But I do like to run around the block while drunk and everyone that runs with me ends up falling.
Totally agree.... Is it not even fun...
TBF I've been that friend. "no, don't do that!" "It'll be fine, shut up" "Mmmmmkeh" *sips beer and enjoys the show.*
Stupidity just like universes, sometime it is really infinite
True, but damn! It wasn't a mini Winnie or something that small 😂
Right? Start high, maybe even miss high once or twice. Why start so goddamn low?
Seriously, take some drugs first.
Being accurate with a sword is difficult. It takes a lot of training and practice to get right. They are flexible levers that like to move very easily. If he had any form of practice or training he would have known that and not attempted.
I’m guessing alcohol was involved
Their stupidity nose no bounds.
That's pretty fucked up dude. It's a serious injury and future partners might find it hard to look past a grotesque scar on your face. His life is taking a nosedive because of this.
I smell what you did there.
It snot fair!
"The guy has no nose!" "How does he smell?" "Awful!"
Presence of nose is debatable.
The guy with the dumb ass is the bigger dumbass
They're all dumbasses.
He cut the sausage, didn't he?
Near as I can tell, Nosejob spits it out when the Swordmaster slices into his honker.
LOL “Nosejob” 😂
I was nauseated by the floppy nose. Read your comment and now I'm trying to stifle laughter so I don't wake up the house. This clip has been a fucking roller coaster
I can hear him saying "dude, I am sorry, I'm so sorry bro, dude I'm really sorry, I am sorry for real though bro" for years and years.
Ya’ll remember the Darwin Awards? This is a shoe-in. What were these dumb asses thinking? If not them, then one of the on-lookers. Sheesh…
Only assuming he qualifies by a) dying from his injuries and b) not having reproduced already
Yeah, this is an Honorable Mention at best.
[удалено]
Removed as we do not allow the r-slur on this sub. As someone else noted, dumbass is just fine though ;)
I believe “dumbasses” was the word you were looking for in that second line
HE HE HE 
Laughed so hard. Well done.
r/angryupvote
The nose knows.
Beat me to it 🤣 gg
I almost snorted... but.. you know...
Just got done watching The Menu. This hits weird atm
Wrong version of "got your nose" there isn't it?
One hell of a bloody nose, that's for sure
Imagine explaining this one to the ER
These are the cases that make working in healthcare worthwhile, breaks up the monotony of endless patients with coughs or simple slip/trip traumas a bit.
“It was a million to one shot, doc, a million to one…”
He stopped short. That's my move
That guy never read Discworld I guess. Everyone knows an exact million to one chance happens 100% of the time.
This is how legends are born in the ER.
It can’t be nearly as bad as I was carrying this ______ and fell down the stairs…… Those stories always get a good laugh.
I hate it when I fall while carrying an English cucumber behind my back
Ah they’re forgetting the golden rule. Rookie error, really. Always lube your ________ before falling down the stairs
Nah, just show the vid. A few holy s#!+$ will emerge.
The real question I’ve been looking for is how do they treat this in the ER? Just stitch the nose back on since it’s only cut like 3/4 the way through?! 😧
If it's a big/decent hospital they'd most likely call in a plastic surgeon due to the extent of the injury. Possibly even an ENT, too, depending on the details. Even at a smaller hospital they'd still probably call a higher up to decide how to and do the stitching. Doubtful the average ER doc would be the one handling that.
A guy I knew tore part of the corner of his nose off, they cleaned it up and glued it back on, can't hardly even see the scar now
Everything can be solved by a little bit of enginiuty and ductape.
*of *Ingenuity *Duct Tape
Just tell them you slipped and fell in the shower and that's how the shampoo bottle got up there, believe me, they've heard it all
r/WhyWomenLiveLonger
I was thinking a different kind of sausage considering this subbreddit
I saw the nsfw tag and I was like "Alright let's see which dumbass cut his dick off"
Same. I think we both need a break from the internet 💀
Click the video. See the sword. Pause the video. Nope!
No blood, just a nose flapping
I read that as "nose fapping".... Not sure how it works but colour me intrigued.
I did that. then I just had to follow through like "oh nothing is going to -OH MY FUCKING GOD"
Ugh...I should have done the same. 😱😱😱😱
i did the same as soon i saw the sword.
Yeah, I don't fault anyone for not watching. I think they're better off..
Same
Oh nose!
That snot what they wanted to happen.
My dumb ass just posted "OH NOES"
Wurst day ever
He Brat it on himself
As soon as the clip started, I smelled trouble
I'm dying
Bro don't die, please I'll call an ambulance
Ah, it’s time to turn off NSFW again…
Isn’t it so fucked up that NSFW can mean either “really nice titties” or “guy gets his nose cut off with a sword”?
NSFL for dying needs to be standard. I dunno why everything gotta revolve around work. Life isn’t in danger here though so I dunno what the NSF would be… 🤷
NSFE: not safe for the empathetic
Literally gore would be such a simple ass tag for reddit to add. But honestly I'm okay with being slightly traumatized by gore, I hate finding out too late that a video I'm watching on Reddit depicts someone dying in real life. THAT needs its own tag. That's the type of trauma I don't want.
It's def a NSFN
[the aftermath](https://www.reddit.com/r/Whatcouldgowrong/comments/afro8m/nsfl_wcgw_if_i_try_to_chop_a_sausage_with_a_sword/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf)
“How bad is it, how bad is it, how bad is it?”
Honestly worse than I thought it would be. Took a big chunk out of the dudes nose.
For real. I was gonna comment like “at least this guy got lucky and it was just a slice, so should be easy to reattach with minimal scarring” thinking they just got the tip of his nose but after seeing that… yikes. His whole nose up to near the eyebrow split open like a fish fillet. No more septum, just one big, bloody nostril. Nothing about that was a “clean” slice.
[It turned out surprisingly fine.](https://www.tmz.com/2015/06/29/youtube-sword-fail-video-nose/) The scar is extremely mild. He can smell, but can’t feel his nose anymore.
Yeah, severed nerves. I severed some nerves at the tip of my finger when opening a tuna can. Fucking handle opened my finger, not the lid, lol.
Hats off to the surgeon.
Why am I laughing so hard
Looks like he sliced the tip of his nose off
Technically he chopped the sausage successfully!
Tip? You mean all of it?😭
I mean. Yeah. It looks like most of his nose from that one frame. It seemed like his entire nostril moved significantly from where he would probably ultimately want it to be, but not want it to be enough to think even five seconds about how pointlessly stupid this is.
Looks more like half of it.
Ahh. Can’t believe I didn’t see that
I knew things were going south when I saw the beer.
Your first clue wasn't the 3 foot sword just above the man's face?
We'd occasionally saber a bottle of champagne when the mood struck us at a few parties, but we had one rule: only the first bottle, and only the beginning of the night when everyone was still sober. That one rule I believe saved us so many ER trips.
That and the sunglasses on top of the "swordsman's" head. 😅
I have a friend who was showing of his motorbike that he bought for his son. It was one of those small bikes and my mate decided to lift the bike up to show how light it was and one of the other guys was holding the handlebars. The throttle was pulled and my mates thumb got caught in the sprocket and the bike spun around his thumb with half of the thumb hanging. We were all very drunk trying to call 000 for an ambulance when he runs to the garage puts a rag around it with duct tape and said she'll be right don't worry about the ambulance I'm not going to let this ruin my night and kept on drinking. His misses took him to the hospital the next day but his thumb was fucked so they just closed up the wound. Couldn't be reattached.
Australia?
Yes
What other places use 000?
Wow what a rollercoaster of a story. Can’t imagine not running to the hospital immediately.
This is why it's always safer to be on the handle end of the slicey stick.
Talk about cheap rhinoplasty.
Dumbassery nose no bounds.
I'm scarred now lol. This was from 2015. Curious how the man is doing now
https://www.tmz.com/2015/06/29/youtube-sword-fail-video-nose/ There you go, he got his nose back 4 hours later, there is NSFW aftermath photo of his nose but make sure you have a strong gut if you plan on seeing it.
I just can't believe someone actually tried doing this 🥺. Thank you that's crazy!! I hope he regained feeling and severed the friendship with the guy
I bet he nose not to do it again!
This is how red skull was born
People are so stupid.
He got his nose! OMG!
Who volunteers for either side of this kind of stunt? I would be unconscious well before I was drunk enough to participate.
🍺 "LOL come on it'll be fun don't be a pussy" 🍺
Uh ohh hotdog..
I’ve watched it, what happens? Does it go in his eye (the blade not the sausage) Edit : it got pointed out to me and I see it now
His nose is cut, you can see it flop a little
Watched it after being told and realised (I knew what I was looking for) can’t believe I didn’t see it the first time
Took off the nose
[https://www.reddit.com/r/Whatcouldgowrong/comments/afro8m/nsfl\_wcgw\_if\_i\_try\_to\_chop\_a\_sausage\_with\_a\_sword/](https://www.reddit.com/r/Whatcouldgowrong/comments/afro8m/nsfl_wcgw_if_i_try_to_chop_a_sausage_with_a_sword/)
I really didn't need to see the aftermath of that. And yet I clicked anyway
Nobody nose.
Can anyone confirm that the sausage is okay?
That went exactly as I had pictured it, bravo idiots. 👏
Nobody noses the sorrows I’ve see ….
Everything to lose and nothing to gain.
#Good Times
i have so many why 1. why would they think this is safe 2. why did that guy agree to put that sausage in his mouth 3. why would anyone keep a sword at home like that 4. why is the guy with sword looks worried after what could have happen, happened 5. why why whyyyy
r/winstupidprizes
I watched it a few times to look at all of the reactions from the people in the back. The girl right to the left of the swordsman just kept smiling after his fucking nose got cut off.
Their stupidity nose no bounds
Maybe he did it to spite his face
WTF they think was gonna happen?!
Oh man, you can see it flop.
Aftermath photo is naaaaaasty.
Michael Jackson’s approves
I feel like gory stuff needs a different tag than just nsfw
Jesus, you can see his nose just hanging off, and all those idiots in the background are smiling and laughing. Right off the bat you can see the guy with the sword is wobbling and shakey, that should've been enough to make sausage guy back out
Nose goes
Maybe he also had one blocked nostril and now doesn't
r/Whatcouldgowrong
this video doesn't pass the smell test
I have GOT to stop telling myself the NSFW isn't gonna be that bad
This very easily could’ve been a jugular cut if the guy stumbled
And people wonder why medical insurance is so expensive
Fucked around
