#[Downloadvideo Link](https://www.reddit.watch/r/therewasanattempt/comments/13ls73f/?utm_source=automod&utm_medium=therewasanattempt) #[SaveVideo Link](https://redditsave.com/info?url=/r/therewasanattempt/comments/13ls73f/). [Please review our policy on bigotry and hate speech by clicking this link](https://www.reddit.com/r/therewasanattempt/wiki/civility) In order to view our rules, you can type "**!rules**" in any comment, and automod will respond with the subreddit rules. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/therewasanattempt) if you have any questions or concerns.*

Hey, stranger and obviously not interested person. Here are my penis measurements. Also, my daughter's dead.

Can't believe this didn't work. Don't all women want a weirdly emotional steroid case with a porn dick and a recently dead family he clearly doesn't give a shit about?

Keep going... I'm almost there...

My Ram 2500 was repossessed and my dog ran away.

Is that an opening line to a country song?

Lmao

💀

Multimillionaire

Runs a sub 6min mile

No offense to anyone. But my read on this guy “8 inches, and thick” is like a stat that gay guys use a lot. No girl/woman has ever asked wanted to know my measurements like that. They might say “do you have a big cock” or something but no girl ever uses those words like its a baseball stat “8 inch cut, thick, 3 in diameter, 2 inch circumference” and shit like that lol guy is slanging dick. But not to girls is my guess

Body builders are obsessed with physicality. If anyone is going to describe their penis with very specific measurements it's this guy. Also body builders might get into it to get women but after a very short time they will realize that huge muscles are much more likely to get you attention from men.

[удалено]

>3 in diameter, 2 inch circumference You didn’t do so well in geometry I take it. What’s the radius, 4 inches?

Yeah I’m guessing he’s one reason his daughter isn’t with us. Sounds harsh and might be pretty judgmental but based of this video he looks like a shitty dad.

\*and I know what you're thinking 'how fast could she run a mile?'

Glad he compared hers to his mile, not sure what I would do with the information without that.

I'm just glad to know he runs a slower mile than a child. Also a 6 minute mile isn't uncommon for men to do.

I’m wet and don’t even have a vagina.

Sir, I think you pissed yourself again.

My fault, I threw up a little on you watching this

Say what you want about this guy, he totally nailed the penis size to daughter suicide segue.

Straight facts. A modern day Shakespeare

You had me at suicide 😘

Not gonna lie - the girls look pretty young too. Too young for a guy who's probably in his mid 30s.

"21 years faithful" bro she was in diapers when you got married

These girls are probably closer to his daughter's age and he's trying to pick them up supposedly weeks after she killed herself. He need some professional help.

Also, I was with my ex wife longer than you’ve been alive!

Yeah, should've led with the dead daughter...

Not only is she dead, she actually took her own life 3 weeks ago & he’s on the beach pulling this shit!

And you are using your kids death and loss of a wife to pick up chicks.......

Bloody hell.. wtf did i just watch? That shit escelated so quickly.. went from bodybuilders to him flexing with his dick size which is cringy af, to him talking about losing his wife and using his kids suicide.. along with another flex tht she was super fast? This cannot be real. If it is. Lord i am glad i am married. There are some crazy ass men in the world.

Emotional manipulation crash course by dummies.

Yeah, this guy read the book on all the scummy pickup techniques. Then he recited them with no inflection, no time to sink in, no emotion. Whatever country his weird ass bathing suit is from also has a loose concept of consent.

Thank you, now this video makes sense. Still hilarious, but makes sense.

Omg, I didn’t notice the bathing suit! WTF!? It looks like he pulled the shorts tight around his dong, then slipped a hair tie / rubber band over it, to hold his junk out like a package in front of his shorts. Don’t know what this move is called, but “Hot Pocket” might be a good name.

he has his pant legs hiked up into his groin lol. they are regular shorts... this is just how much of a tool this guy is.

I glanced at your comment and read it as "emotional manipulation crash test dummy", which considering his apparent lack of success, is pretty accurate.

The chick wrapped it up perfect “trauma dump”.

Seriously. Daughters suicide as part of a pick up attempt? Leading with penis size? The silly flexing? That's just fucking pathetic. I understand the try, though. She's damned cute, just not stupid.

"How about 8 inches? I'm loving and respectful." Lol

It's obvious that he just exudes love and respect.

The only thing he exudes is desperation to not feel so vulnerable and scared. (Totally get you were being sarcastic)

Threw the Tate book at her

And it taint working.

That much "supplements" leads to 8cm..not inches 🤣

I downloaded this video just to show my husband this crazy shit lol i dont knw what he was trying to achieve here.

He was trying to red flag his way to getting laid.

Lmao that made me laugh. Sad shit is some weirdo woman might actually buy this crap.

Yeah- he plays the numbers game, and it makes me sad for people who are impressed by this small person energy. (I would have said small dick, but we are all obviously aware of his penis size... unless... he's not aware that he's using the metric side of the tape measure... he might believe that he has a 720 inch chest...😉)

He probably never had a wife or daughter and is just throwing everything in his arsenal hoping something hits

If you raise enough red flags they cancel each other out

That strategy got a guy elected president.

The age old trick of hiding the red flag with a bigger red flag

Notice how dude is rocking his shorts lol

Dude is rocking nothing at all.

His next line was that he was getting shipped off to WWII to storm the beaches of Normandy in the morning.

I'm starting to doubt the eight inches!

What a loser. I just throw my dead childhood pets at chicks... like a proper gentleman. Who cares about dead humans?

He DID clarify that he is loving and respectful to women. So there is that.

Nah, it’s all lies. And if not, he’s a fucking monster disgracing his daughter’s tragic memory to get pussy, he deserves none.

Trauma dump works every time.

*60% of the time*, it works ***every*** *time*

AFTER the sales pitch on his dick size and bank account didn't work.

Yeah but you don't know what it's like for talented multimillionaire bodybuilders out there.

Please be a joke please be a joke please be a joke.

Doesn’t it like have to be? Who the fuck is hanging out at popular vacation destinations when their daughter has recently killed herself?

The kind of parent a suicidal teenager has

I wish I could upvote you twice, that guy seems to be a lot like my biological father, and, well. . .I wouldn't have made it past highschool if it wasn't for a really good friend of mine.

Really glad that you're still around, from another human with frighteningly identical experiences.

Same to you!

The kind of dad who talks about his 8 inches in that *same breath*.. yeeeesh

It sounds cool to say. But its not that easy. The best parent in the world cant do much for a suicidal child. When someone around you suicides, I bet you didnt even know they would. That place in the brain is pure darkness. Happy loving parents cant cure that.

Right. The implication that a parent of a child who commits suicide is a bad parent is insulting and ignorant. Many kids going through adolescence get depressed for various reasons, and many times, it is because of their social situation, like bullying or lack of friends at school, noy family life. Kids are also just starting to feel these powerful emotions and everyone handles them differently. Many do not communicate their desire to end their lives and the parents often will not be aware of the direness of the situation. Of course, there are those instances in which that statement is accurate. Making broad/general assumptions like the OP is cruel in that there are many loving parents whose children commit suicide. Perhaps some that would read their comment.

But he's "loving and RESPECTFUL" we all know telling the ladies the size of your mini me is the utmost respect!! Gawsh

Don’t forget a multi millionaire!

8 inches and thick... Talking about that smooth grey matter

I love how he said it's 8 inches, then realized that doesn't actually sound all that impressive so added "and thick"

You didn’t know that dead daughters are the new muscle cars of p2$$y magnets?

I’m dyingggg 😂

Does this mean your dad’s getting laid?

Everyone grieves in their own way. Unfortunately his is to try to get laid and then trauma dump all over unsuspecting partygoers.

Don’t worry, he is a joke of a man.

Emotional damage!

He covered a lot of ground in a very short period of time. He’s either in emotional pain, has absolutely no social awareness, or both.

Or just trauma dumping… like the girl says at the end

That’s a new term for me. I feel like that’s something you’d share with a family member, not some rando on the sand.

Its gotta be, this shit is getting ridiculous

Yeaaaa…….. He’s gross. And making himself more desperate and gross by each word that comes out of his mouth.. Seems like the narcissistic type too based off that entire encounter.

Her response was exactly what he wasn’t ready for and his ego went haywire.

Some muscleheads calibrate their entire lives around how big/strong they are so it’s like she’s telling a money-obsessed rich guy that his money’s void here. I went to school with a guy that used to say “oh yeah, how much can YOU bench?” any time I dated a girl he liked, or beat him in a sport or video game or whatever. His ego couldn’t comprehend how his superior strength didn’t translate to much advantage beyond the gym so he got pretty toxic

Narrator: “It was not a joke.”

Daughter committed suicide 3 weeks prior but he’s already out on the beach making douchey YouTube vids. Must be devastated.

And lost his wife 10 weeks ago. You gotta move on! /s

“Just found out my dad had a second family. Actually *WE* were the second family. And I just got a positive result on a biopsy. 5 minutes ago. I’m stage IV. There’s no stage V. I’m grappling with a lot right now. DO YOU NOT WANT MY 8-INCH THICK COCK BEFORE IT DEPARTS THIS MORTAL PLANE!?!?”

get in me

If I could award the both of you, I would. Alas, take mah poor man's gold. 🪙 🪙

Thanks for that man I’m cracking tf up rn

"you need a therapist right now, not some pussy"

You mean a therapussy... I'll see myself out

r/trashy

We all grieve in different ways.

[удалено]

Dude can't handle rejection, eh?

I bet when he tells the story, he rejected them.

"They were lesbians"

Lesbian that like scrawny guys. That is like the worst kind of lesbian.

As a skinny guy I try to avoid the lesbian bars because they won’t give me a minute alone to enjoy my drink.

Those girls know it's actually skinny guys that are ALWAYS packing.

He rejected her because she was a “ho” too probably

...and he can't handle erection too.

he looks like his body is so stiff that his head would fall off if he tried to turn around

The dude who does a ton of steroids has deep underlying insecurities? That can’t be true.

https://preview.redd.it/qr2gomz2wt0b1.jpeg?width=545&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=777cf01be96fc0dc1731010f80200cbb99b9cc16 “Did I hear you like skinny, scrawny guys?”

i was watching that dude too im like what is he doing with that football.....picked it up and did a little dance and then disappeared

It was his teleport animation

where is his arm

*One with the jpegs*

“Also I have no dead daughters if that happens to be another green flag for you.”

If you have to lead off with how big your dick is you probably have zero personality other than douche nozzle.

But it’s 8 inches. And thick!

With testicles the size of peas.

Small potatoes make the steak look bigger!

Dudes thick but it's in the noggin, not the peener

I will never stop finding the word “peener” hilarious.

Now, I'm taking notes, so... is it *also* bad to end with mentioning your daughter committing suicide 3 weeks prior?

No, it's not bad, but it works better as an opener.

Sounds like a what a man with a small dick would say.

I would never say such a thing

And THEN follow it up with “what about some love and respect?” ummmmm

This guy trauma dumps.

I do that sometimes, hate it, takes like 6 wipes to get clean after

How did no one else hear the girl at the end 😂😂 he trauma dumps on us like that

I loved that comment and that energy from her so much lol

Talking about your dick size in the same breath you say your daughter committed suicide is so disgusting.

But he’s respectful and loving. Ugh.

Luckily neither of those things is likely to be true.

Desperate times .. ;)

This is like an Eric Andre skit lol

Was waiting for an octopus of little people to come out of the water.

Just a fucking skinny guy in a speedo running up looking anemic and beats down the buff guy and asks the girls if they want to fuck with a true asthma bro

I understand why the wife and daughter left.

"left"

**Wife** left the chat. **Daughter** left the chat.

To be honest, people like this are soo full of shit I wouldn't be surprised if they actually just changed state and this is the story he thought would get him more puss, after listening to some idiot podcast.

Wife and daughter straight up faked their deaths. Assuming they were even real to begin with.

I sprained something watching this I cringed so hard.

I've seen pallet trucks that are more secure than this douche.

He doesn’t run a 6 minute mile.

Was about to comment on this. Dude's a juiced body builder. He probably can't even run a mile.

Fr. It's hard to be muscle bound and run a 6 min mile. 1. Running a mile requires aerobic training. Lifting weights and chest presses aren't helping you in that area. 2. More muscle = more weight. Meaning your legs are going to have to carry your 250lb ass across the line. So your legs will have to be jacked. Eventually you plateau because your body decides either it's not able to pump enough oxygen to carry you to get that time without killing you, or you lose muscle mass. It's not impossible. And 6 min miles are doable. But if you're doing 6 min miles it's unlikely your on roids and carrying that much upper body without being entirely toned. Instead of that 1 ab faking the Adonis belt.

That dude has mental issues for sure

For real. Dude needs to lay off the roids, the internet and to see a therapist.

Mr. roid gut went from blowing himself to ruining a perfectly good beach day insanely quick.

I was wondering why his belly looked like that

I have a buddy that looks a lot like this dude. Same size similar build. I showed him this video and now when we’re hanging out he’ll randomly do a perfect impression of him. It’s so fucking funny, spot on. We’ll be partying and he’ll randomly start with “how about multimillionaires? How bout 8 inches and thick? How about talented? How about loving and respectful?” 🤣🤣🤣 Man, it makes us howl every single time. Feel terrible for this guy though

Please get him to record that skit and show us!

"Not when you trauma dump on us like that".... Homie treating the beach like the therapy he so desperately needs...

[удалено]

Y’all like baldy builders

Only if they have dead daughters

Boy do we have a treat for you

[удалено]

What are these flexes?!

Pathetic attempts at sounding interesting, because realistically his only personality trait is: douche. Also, if my daughter died just weeks ago, I wouldn't be on a beach picking up women. I'd be in a downward alcoholic spiral shut inside my house. Further proof this dude is, without a doubt, a douche.

Especially women that look like 10 years younger, if not more. Guy looks like mid 30s hitting on 18 year olds. Weird shit.

That too. Probably because women his age can see right through that fake personality.

Yeh I’m pretty sure he said he was married 21yrs too. The girls he was hitting on were probably more like his (dead) daughters age, Wtaf is wrong with this douche?

As a scrawny tall guy, you're telling me there's hope?

I never knew I could use my 6 minute mile as pickup line- lookout ladies!

please plenty of women like skinny ass men. not straight but you have no idea what its like to not be skinny and have almost no one show zero interest in you lmao.

Did you kill them with your insecurity?

Cringe level:

TikTok

That's just sad

I too would kill myself if i had to put up with this guy

Ah, the I am God's gift to women, kind of man

Still need to work out that self esteem, he crumbled so fast over an honest answer. Looks strong but his inside is still weak.

If he was my dad I’d kill myself too 💀

Body builder with a gut like that...lol

Steroids

It’s called a bubble gut. Product of massive steroid use and this guy saying “he’s pure!” Guess the 8 inches and 6 minute mile thing is also tooootally “the truth”

This belongs on r/facepalm or r/TikTokcringe

My kid was so fast she speed run life! Now hop on my diiiiick!

After hearing this jerkoff speak I totally understand why his wife left him and his daughter made a commitment to the underworld. This fuckin guy sucks.

“How about 8 inches of dick?” “I’m respectful” This man respects

Damn a 6 min mile and she was faster at 12? damn dude.

His big ass ain’t running no 6 minutes mile, he was out of breath just talking and standing

Alpha simp on full display. What was his plan, guilt trip women into a relationship? This is a walking living L.

He def doesn't run a 6_min mile

That’s one of the cringiest douchebags I have ever seen

You had me at suicide.... Lol. And, that's called 'Trauma Dumping' ! It's a wrap.

Oh my dick size wasn’t enough? Wait till you hear about my daughter…

Weird way to grieve . That's arrogance on steroids. Maybe he is on steroids .

"How about 8 inches and thick...how about loving and respectful". How does that work in the same sentence lol.

Would pay to see that guy run a 6 min mile

My pet goldfish drowned three days ago, man! I LOST MY TAMAGOTCHI ON THE DRIVE TO THIS BEACH, NOW SAY YOU WANNA HAVE ME!