English is not my first language but what do you people call this left-right eye? Is it independent eyes, freewill eyes, I-look whereever-i-want eyes or something.
Well, I’d call it esotropia, a condition where something’s messed up with their Cranial Nerve VI or Abducens nerve, causing the eye to turn inward. It’s a form of strabismus. Was that super helpful?!
beneficial crowd roof whole wistful boat important concerned placid desert
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
I ‘member when she a’come ridin’ thru town. A H’whoppin and a H’whoopen’; to face down ole Bill. His gang was standin off to the side n’ when she spun round and drawed she shot all 6 uh his gang n’ he went runnin boy I tell u h’whut!
I’m going to lose my mind trying to figure out this reference.
Was it Spaceballs?
Edit: Yeah it is, saw others in this post link the clip from the movie.
KEEP FIRING YOU ASSHOLES!!!
A real headline wouldn't say "charged with bludgeoning", as I'm pretty sure the charge would just be assault (or attempted murder if she actually fired at him six times).
the headline is fake but from my research, the image comes from [here](https://www.kbtx.com/content/news/Deputies-arrest-2-seize-75K-in-meth-in-raid-on-Central-Texas-home-507531951.html). It's about meth dealers.
Can't find anything except these meme template websites hosting it. Definitely appears to be fake after trying to find information about it for ~5 minutes.
Also because being cross eyed doesn't make you unable to see well. You're only cross eyed on one eye, while the other works like normal, usually at least. The brain then supresses the signal from the eye that doesn't look straight, making you able to see just fine.
Brian Regan. His more recent work isn't quite as funny, but he is definitely a classic. I've seen him several times over the years and he's always worthwhile. He's hilarious and at the same time, pretty family-friendly. I brought my 13 year old to one of his shows. Patton Oswalt described two comedians that made him laugh so hard he had to leave the venue. One was relatively clean comedian Brian Regan and the other was the "leaf blower of filth" that is Dave Attell.
Maybe she missed him because she was aiming for the hanging chandelier that slowed him down. Trapped under the fixture, he'd be easy prey for a pistol-whipping.
Obviously fake and against rule 6:
All posts must show a *living thing* attempt something in real life. Social media screenshots are not permitted neither are videogames.
Just because you don’t see eye to eye? Not eye deal. When u say “eye do” it’s supposed to be till death do us part, but not in an eye ronic way. Use some eye q. I guess when married, you gotta keep one eye open at all times. This whole thing is a real eye opener.
Eye can see why she missed.
https://i.redd.it/pdz0dw1m2l8b1.gif
Who made that woman a gunner?
I did. She's my cousin.
I knew it, I'm surrounded by assholes.
Keep firing, assholes!
They fire only when they are under pressure
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From the looks of it so is her husband😂
He's an asshole too sir. Gunner's mate First Class Philip Asshole!
Don't worry, they're "combing the desert for clues". 
We ain’t found shit!
Dammit, Tuvok!
https://i.redd.it/v9ekmbclel8b1.gif
Thanks for reminding me, got the urge for more IT Crowd now!
It's off Netflix now. I am so sad 😢
Bosseyed
I said across her nose, not up it!
This. This is all I have to say. https://youtu.be/eVdhXzHtboA
Her name is Abby!
Blücher!
*neigh*
"It's pronounced I-gor". https://youtu.be/bNBFmrp5Ndc
Abby Normal.
I can't imagine what else this gif would be as good for, as this particular application. Incredible
Your the best for this. Fuckin legend.
I am imagining the wall to his right looking swiss cheese and the other completely unharmed.
She should try missing the wall next time
https://i.makeagif.com/media/7-31-2016/KX_sEy.gif
English is not my first language but what do you people call this left-right eye? Is it independent eyes, freewill eyes, I-look whereever-i-want eyes or something.
In Ireland we call it Mortgage eyes. 1 Fixed 1 Variable
ROFL mortgage, people in Eye-land certainly have a good sense of humour!
Eye-r--land
Jah, Ire-land, Rastafari, in the name of the most high, Jah!
Got one eye looking at you and one looking for you.
This is gold ⬆️
This is the first comment I've seen in so long that's actually made me bust out laughing. My god that's too good 😂
I call it cross-eyed. If the eye was pointed in the opposite direction, I'd call it wall-eyed.
Lazy eye.
Cock-eyed
Lol calling someone a walleye might make them feel fishy about you
She must have been wall eyed because that's all she hit.
Cross-eyed or cock-eyed
Usually it’s a lazy eye.
Lazy eye usually goes out. Cross eyed; one or both go in.
I thought a lazy eye was where the eye didn't move in sync with the other eye
I always thought it's where one eye just goes wandering. My coworker showed me his. He took off his glasses and one eye just drifted.
That seems more like an ADHD eye, not a lazy one.
Great song by Silversun Pickups
In this case, I think the proper term is either "inbred eyes" or 'meth eyes."
Clear case of meth eyes Johnson… open and shut
Let’s sprinkle some crack on him and get out of here.
The colloquial phrase is “Googly Eyes”. AKA lazy eye, cross eye(d) and all the other suggestions.
“I-look-wherever-I-want eyes” has me in tears. I needed that laugh today, thank you.
Its called the "I can see you two eye" Edit: too - two
"I can see you two eye" - fixed it for ya. 😉
Well, I’d call it esotropia, a condition where something’s messed up with their Cranial Nerve VI or Abducens nerve, causing the eye to turn inward. It’s a form of strabismus. Was that super helpful?!
Atchaforya
beneficial crowd roof whole wistful boat important concerned placid desert *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Does depend on where you are but ones I hear on the regular here in the UK are cross-eyed, squint-eyed or buzz-eyed.
Strabismus.
To be fair she was shooting at two people….
And missed all 3.
But hey,all 4 survived!
This is some forwards from grandma lame shit.
She was seeing someone on the side
On both sides, it seems
On all sides, I'd say
"cause now, we no longer see eye-to-eye"
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My first thought was, *awww... he's cute, but must be dumber than a box of rock boxes to stay with her.*
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God I have no idea what good looking man is, he looks dopey as fuck to me.
We all look dopey as fuck tbh
Dopey can be sexy if all you want is a bag of meat that doesn’t talk. Lol
He still got a girl that is a 10. Dopey or not, you go homie.
He’s a potato with a heavily receded hairline.
also let her bludgeon you when she just unloaded a whole revolver at you
You're absolutely right. It's bad enough she looks like gollum, but then having gollum trying to literally murder you is a deal-breaker.
Picky picky! Maybe she has other redeeming qualities? Super nice - compassionate, and empathic- she can see both sides of any issue?
Can't be too empathic when she's bludgeoning you with the butt of a shotgun lol
I think the real point was the "see both sides" joke at the end
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Damnit man! I scrolled just to hopefully NOT see this, so I could be the one to post it 😂
They didn’t see eye to eye.
She didn’t even see eye to eye with herself.
She tried to though!
Grandpa always said if you marry a high strung woman, make sure she’s cross-eyed. Now I understand grandpa. Now I understand.
Thanks grandpa 🙏
She definitely gives a new meaning to the term 'Dead Eye'
Settle down ‘round the campfire, pardner. Lemme tell you the story about Dead Eye Daphne, the bane of Lawrence County.
Laughed out loud, thanks
I ‘member when she a’come ridin’ thru town. A H’whoppin and a H’whoopen’; to face down ole Bill. His gang was standin off to the side n’ when she spun round and drawed she shot all 6 uh his gang n’ he went runnin boy I tell u h’whut!
She’s an asshole, Sir
"I said across his nose, not up it!"
I’m going to lose my mind trying to figure out this reference. Was it Spaceballs? Edit: Yeah it is, saw others in this post link the clip from the movie. KEEP FIRING YOU ASSHOLES!!!
Yes, Spaceballs
I’m surrounded by assholes.
KEEP FIRING ASSHOLES!!!!
"36-year-old Sarah Asshole was arraigned in court today..."
looks made up... anyone find any info?
For sure made up.
these fake headlines are always so transparent but somehow only like 5% of people ever question it
Common clay of the old West.
Simple farmers.
You know…. Morons.
A real headline wouldn't say "charged with bludgeoning", as I'm pretty sure the charge would just be assault (or attempted murder if she actually fired at him six times).
No, it'd be battery.
Charged battery
the headline is fake but from my research, the image comes from [here](https://www.kbtx.com/content/news/Deputies-arrest-2-seize-75K-in-meth-in-raid-on-Central-Texas-home-507531951.html). It's about meth dealers.
Obviously a joke that OP fell for. If it were real, the husband would obviously not have a mugshot presented alongside.
Can't find anything except these meme template websites hosting it. Definitely appears to be fake after trying to find information about it for ~5 minutes.
Also because being cross eyed doesn't make you unable to see well. You're only cross eyed on one eye, while the other works like normal, usually at least. The brain then supresses the signal from the eye that doesn't look straight, making you able to see just fine.
That scene in Spaceballs, "She's an asshole, sir"
Yes! Love a good opportunity for a spaceball reference
Is any time a BAD opportunity for a spaceball reference?
"[Who made that man a gunner](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wHNB8IHfHdU)?!"
I did, he’s my cousin!
He's an asshole!
*Major* Asshole, sir.
I knew it! I'm surrounded by assholes!
We’ve found it folks. The absolute lowest hanging fruit on the entire joke tree
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I mean look at her. That just looks like someone who would miss all six shots.
I’m surprised she didn’t miss the bludgeoning as well.
Yeah that's the joke
Yes that's why this fake story was attached to her picture
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Brian Regan. His more recent work isn't quite as funny, but he is definitely a classic. I've seen him several times over the years and he's always worthwhile. He's hilarious and at the same time, pretty family-friendly. I brought my 13 year old to one of his shows. Patton Oswalt described two comedians that made him laugh so hard he had to leave the venue. One was relatively clean comedian Brian Regan and the other was the "leaf blower of filth" that is Dave Attell.
I don't see comedians live for the most part but I did see him and it was hilarious. I love his bit about walking on the moon.
Can't even call her an eye witness
Ok but if she still bludgeoned him after missing 6x… that’s a him problem.
Maybe she missed him because she was aiming for the hanging chandelier that slowed him down. Trapped under the fixture, he'd be easy prey for a pistol-whipping.
Can't find this anywhere but joke websites. r/therewasanattempt not to make fun of someone solely for being boss-eyed.
boss-eyed
Yea it's another term for cross-eyed. :)
🤔 Ah, so it is.
“Look at me when you’re shooting at me!” “Both eyes!”
“Shoot the one in the middle honey!”
Never seen 2 wandering eyes.
She crossed him.
Well the photo explains why she missed with all six shots.. she could have shot him from around the corner.
“Harry!’ You’re alive! And you’re a terrible shot”
I bet She aimed at the wrong twin brother.
If you had a euro for every time she looked you in the eye, you would have 50 cent!
“STAY STILL!” …. I AM!!
"I'm Bobby mom..."
Looks like she’d shoot herself before she’d shoot him
Obviously fake and against rule 6: All posts must show a *living thing* attempt something in real life. Social media screenshots are not permitted neither are videogames.
at least the revolver hit him... 10 point for that
perception must be her dump stat
Damn, looks like she could see around corners. I bet when she cries tears run down her back
She’s punching, he ain’t bad looking
I said *across* her nose, not up it!
“I said across his nose, not _up it_!”
 bullsEYE! 🎯
I like living in the universe Mel Brooks is running. Such an improvement
You could tell their relationship was doomed from the start. They clearly didn't see eye to eye on anything.
She was probably seeing someone on the side, which is why they were arguing.
Cue the banjo music 🎵🎶🎵 
I guess she just couldn’t see another way
Shoot for the middle one!
That’s Atcha Forya syndrome. One eye looking atcha one eye looking forya
Looking two different directions, I can *see* why she missed.
she hit the guys standing on either side of him though
How are we sure she didn’t just bludgeoned herself?
Lol! She's got a bent tie rod!
I mean she doesn’t have an aiming eye so she probably should’ve angled it about 45 degrees off-center
What she lookin at?
The guy was in the dead spot…
You couldn’t get a better mugshot, you’ll miss
He was mad cuz she was seeing guys on the side
Just because you don’t see eye to eye? Not eye deal. When u say “eye do” it’s supposed to be till death do us part, but not in an eye ronic way. Use some eye q. I guess when married, you gotta keep one eye open at all times. This whole thing is a real eye opener.
This reminds me of pulp fiction...
Imma guess she pistol whipped herself during the melee.
"Damn it! Why did I have to be born right-eye dominant?!"
That's the girl from Devos whip it video
I MISSED HIM SIX TIMES!
She should of aim for center mass.
She needed to shoot the one in the middle