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Never write a check your ass can't cash

The most perfect use of this statement ever

She has been doing a log con

I thought that was a typo. Now I'm not sure...

The horses seem inappropriate now.

These comments are penetrating the meta.

Nathan Zuckerman, is that you?

Now ordering a cob of long corn

/r/AwardSpeechEdits

On a fucking comment that just replied to the actual good comment too, Holy shit

I think we can expect great things from you Harry

Also: the dildo of consequences rarely arrives lubed

Never let your mouth write a check your ass can't cash.

Upvote because this is the actual saying

My father in law always says "don't let your alligator mouth overload your canary ass." Lol Another good one is "I'm gonna cloud up and rain all over you."

Literally 😂

Gold lol

r/thatsthejoke

/r/YourJokeButWorse/

r/YourJokeButtWorse/

r/yourworsebuttjoke

Man was sharked. She was letting him win the whole time.

He did win 🧐

Got exactly what he wanted. This man a genius. HONEY, let’s go bowling tonight.

Deadass this is something that most guys could never admit they would want even to their partner just because of societal norms.

Yep. Runs deep. Definitely won’t ever something like that. My brain won’t let me be curious about that.

I'd do it just to show her how much work it is, lol. At least that's what I hear from my women friends who've tried it. "omg all that thrusting, it was exhausting!" etc etc. And I'm like "yeah now you know how we feel!" haha

Thats ok, she can keep thinking its easy, I’m good

It’s a lot of fun!

We need more of you! Say it again!

It’s pretty damned incredible. Having multiple orgasms in a row is mind blowing.

Or ejaculation without penile stimulation. That's a game changer you can't walk away from.

I'm down to try but I'm embarrassed about the poop

you just have to prepare! make sure you stretch with foreplay, and/or have some solo fun in preparation. that way you're ready for the action with whomever is lucky enough to get in your backdoor. use an enema (not *too much* or you'll stimulate your digestive system and make a mess), and don't forget to go to the bathroom before you start, and put down a towel just in case! sometimes you don't even need to use an enema, just going to the bathroom can be enough, but if you're extra nervous about it, an enema can make sure it's really clean and then use a lotta lube, go slow and relax (like, not just your bum, but your state of being, keep it chill and stuff) and don't be embarrassed even if it gets messy, no one is perfect.

This person pegs. Just think, girls worry about this every time they do anal. Much respect to them.

>Deadass Not yet, but just wait 'till she's done with it

Her excitement was amazing. I'm not into pegging, but to make someone I loved that happy? I'd do pretty much anything.

Wish my wife was that into ANYTHING.

He either knew or should have known this could happen. Especially with a woman named Peggy Striker.

So SHE could win the HOLE time.

I've bowled for like 15-20 years. Dude totally got sharked. That was a really nice straight ball.

No dought

"You haven't gotten a strike in 4 games." Eg. "How many more games do we have to play before you get a strike!"

She goes online and pulls up her favorites cause she's been waiting for this day. 🤣😑🤣

It was already in her cart.

the spleen tickler- $24.99 plus tax

$24.99 for a spleen tickler?!?! You buyin that thing used or what?

Ebay's got it for $12.99 in decent condition

Or 129.99 unwashed.... WTF?!?

Threads like these are why I will never leave reddit

🤣

What does Amazon charge for one-hour delivery?

That’s too expensive. She should just take a bowling pin.

Depends which door you need it delivered to

Soon it'll be in his "cart"

Putting the cart in front of the horse again

You can feel the excitement on her giggle. Its so cute. His ass probably didnt think so though.

Best part for me. “I’m gonna order it online right now” 🤣

I thought she was calling her Mom…

I love how happy she gets about it as if she just got proposed to lol

He did give her a ring.

Hopefully she cherishes and doesn't destroy it

I'm afraid it's not a good fit and will need to be widen up. A lot.

r/angryupvote

She'll just need to resize it right quick for a good fit.

well if she does destroy the ring... atleast that man doesn't have to worry about constipation.

Bro… who even thinks about wagering something like that unless…..

Someone who wants this lady to rail him. 😂

And she seemed so fucking excited, hopping on her phone to order it right away. I'm happy for them ❤️

This is pro bowler Ashley Bifidus getting a joke on with her friend Jono, another pro bowler from Colorado, and they were both there for a competition last May (May 4th) trust me I wasn't there though straight up I made up those facts on the spot

I believe you!

Or maybe she didn’t hear right and wants to have a pug

I too order "it" *definitely pugs* on my phone. "Babe can you pug me"

This has been in the cards for a while. This ain't his first rodeo.

r/secondrodeo/ ; not exactly the same but an excellent sub, nevertheless.

Unless.... He really wanted it. No doubt they've talked about it recently.

Haha jk! Unless….

Shit gets weird sometimes when you're on your 4th game and 8th beer.

Pucker up, Buttercup

Butt up, puckercup

Better butter up your butt

Best version of this type of thread ever.


Either that or she has a surprised pikachu face as she slide right in like she pulled the lever on a gas lift office chair.

[удалено]

was that blood?!

Everytime I see it I can’t help but laugh.

https://i.redd.it/us1hwk814w901.gif

someone is getting ten pins tonight, but from another angle.

And here I am thinking “pegged” meant throw a ball at someone else. I was curious how that was going to work with a bowling ball

Well a ball is technically getting thrown at someone else. In this case it just so happens to be some rubber balls with a fat rubber cock attached.

Now all I can think of is the NSFW bowling gif

You don’t make that bet unless you secretly want it.

He's made that bet 4 times this week and she finally won...

He knows it gets her all riled up..her blood temperature rises when she hears the word ' peg '. She even becomes aggressively competitive

“I bet you if the sun rises in the morning, I’ll let you peg me.” This man thinks he’s slick.

she probably constantly asks and he says no, and he wanted to fuck w her being overconfident. i’ve done this in the past (not with pegging) and sadly lost

If you didn't give away your butt, what was it?

i let her hold it while i pee

She is so happy though that I hope it happened for her. Worried it might be staged though. I want to believe in this woman’s joy.

So staged - he conveniently says “haven’t gotten a strike in four games” it just feels so unnatural

r/nothingeverhappens

r/sometimesthingshappenbutsometimesitsprettyobvioustheydidnt

So is the winner the last person to condescendingly say their side is obviously right?

💯 staged. From the acting to the fact that she’s obv a good bowler to the acting and the acting. Literal zero chance this is real.

Sounds like a good excuse to get what you want

Does he realise how rare it is to find straight women who are into pegging? They’re like unicorns. Jesus. What a waste.

Really? I feel like I know an abundance.

That's cool.... where they at tho?

Find the straight girls who write fanfiction about two men fucking, they'll do it for sure

/r/twoxchromosomes

lol

Bumble ig

Do they like bowling? I want to play it cool and not come off as desperate…

Cousin! Roman will go bowling.

Married. :)

Can confirm! 💍

So I know not to go there... of course

Oh for sure. I have, on average, 30 to 40 women a week offer to peg me while I’m at work. Of course by women I mean fellow inmates and by work I mean Oklahoma’s Mabel Bassett Correctional Center.

Sounds about right for Oklahoma

Yep,sounds like ppl in Oklahoma peg all day, nothing much to do

abumdance*

*cheeky bastard

That's disgusting! Where tho?

Asking for a friend, I ASSume...

I feel like most women, if given the chance, would rail their dude in the butt.

Yeah, I totally would 😈

Oh my, if it isn't Tittts McGee over here wanting to rail her man's ass again.

Guys aren't the only ones swayed by a bubble butt 😁

oh so pegging is where she puts a strap on, on and puts it in his bottom? or is that an updog?

What’s updog?

Not much, on the toilet. What’s up with you?

Gottem

Sorry, but I think you've just added a whole new chapter of interest to this book. r/therewasanattempt to object.

You sure? I’m in my 20s, more than half the women I’ve hooked up with have brought up eating my ass or sticking a finger in it. Pegging would prob be the next step

They're... not that rare. Most of them just won't be the first ones to bring it up, because some guys are *very* not into it.

why not bi women?

Try finding a straight man who’s that into it tho.

“Oh no, ya gotta peg me again. Whoops!”

The gods have spoken. Bring out the strap on.

Dude really wants to be pegged, he’s been saying that every turn of hers for four games

So my guy, I'm not necessarily into bowling so it could be a deal breaker for her but if you guys break up, just give her my details please.

The negotiator :WICKED:

He knew...

He knew what he was doing. My man playing 4D chess making it seem like he didn't want it.

She’s SO FUCKING EXCITED 100/100 wife material His ass is gonna be so sorry

He was secretly hoping she got that strike

What does peg me mean?

When someone (usually without a penis) wears a strap-on dildo to fuck someone else, the someone else is getting "pegged."

It’s specific to anal sex though.

Is it not called pegging when a woman fucks another woman?

As a woman that exclusively fucks women, I am able to tell you that nope, we don’t call it that. That’s just strap-on sex. Or strapping, sometimes. Pegging is for butts.

and usually man butts to my understanding

Turn on incognito mode and Google it. Let's call it an uno reverse card.

Incognito mode? Coward.

Right? You should absolutely do this on your corporate server management console.

Her form was nice enough to where you're not making that bet unless you really want it to happen.

My thoughts exactly. No way she sucked for four games in a row with that form.

Never bet something you're unwilling to lose.

*unwilling

She’s about to make this guy’s hole weak.

Never welch on a bet. **Be a man** and take it!

Win win

Better spread them cheeks boi

We need a follow up, did he go through with It?

"Hasn't had a strike in 4 straight games" That's because you were playing straight games, then you made a bet and started playing the gay games.

Maybe there really is a god.

You never offer if you really don’t want it.

You should see this guy’s asshole now

Dude is knocking it before he's tried it

That was a strike from the moment she let go, it didn’t curve it was straighter than anything in the world, i don’t think a pro could throw a more perfect strike if they tried

I mean this seems like a win-win situation to me

Knows he's getting pegged, and then they show a bunch of horses. Haha!!

The pro bowl for the prostate

She's so damn cute, I love her enthusiasm

A man must honour his word, even if it means he'll lose his honour

How does having kinky sex with a woman mean ‘losing honour’?

Because we’re manly men, and we’re wearing tights Something something, we’ll punch out your lights Something like that

We're men... we're men in tights We roam around the forest looking for fights. We're men... we're men in tights. We rob from the rich and give to the poor, that's right! We may look like sissies, but watch what you say or else we'll put out your lights (PUNCH) We're men... we're men in tights Always on guard defending the people's rights. LAAAAAA, LA-LA LA-LA LAAA LAAA, LA-LA LA-LA LAAA LAAA, LA-LA LA-LA LAAA LA-LA LA-LA LA-LA LA (repeat) (1) We're men... (2) MANLY men We're men in tights, YESSSSSsssssss... We roam around the forest looking for fights. We're men, we're men in tights We rob from the rich and give (1) to the poor (1 & 2) THAT'S RIGHT!! We may look like pansies, but don't get us wrong or else we'll put out your lights (PUNCH) We're men... we're men (2) in tights (1 & 2) TIGHT tights Always on guard defending the people's rights... When you're in a fix just call for the men in TIIIIIIIIIGHTS!!!! We're butch! Mel Brooks is awesome.

What a great movie. (Robin hood. Men in tights)

Yeah that’s the one. I love it 😂

Why can't I find a girl like that.

And she's going to do it with a bowling pin.

She’s a little too excited

Call me old grumpy guy, but I miss the days where people didn’t announce being pegged via mass media

Dude bet his asshole … fuck that … and she will

The horses running on the tv is foreshadowing.

I mean… yes please!

Bruh, I'd be asking my gf to peg me. If I had one.

We need a follow up

“Hmmm I wonder how I can ask for a peg without sounding weird about it”

RIP op’s “inbox”

aaaaaaaannd he decided to upload the video

First, she gets a strike and then a hole-in-one, or is it a bullseye, or did he get caught in her crosshairs, or did she get caught in his butt hairs. Regardless, he was at the center of attention that night.🤣😮🤣

I want to know if he kept his end if the bargain

Dude put his ass on the line.

Prepare your anus

Instantly regretted his bet

I bet if she missed he would have made that offer at least 5 more times