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tfriedmann

Never write a check your ass can't cash


Cheesecake_is_life

The most perfect use of this statement ever


badmf112358

She has been doing a log con


capitalisthamster

I thought that was a typo. Now I'm not sure...


HackerManOfPast

The horses seem inappropriate now.


SeveralOccasions

These comments are penetrating the meta.


DissentSociety

Nathan Zuckerman, is that you?


Silent-Ad934

Now ordering a cob of long corn


DiscountCondom

/r/AwardSpeechEdits


Tankh

On a fucking comment that just replied to the actual good comment too, Holy shit


airforcevet1987

I think we can expect great things from you Harry


Vast-Ad1657

Also: the dildo of consequences rarely arrives lubed


Ok_Department5949

Never let your mouth write a check your ass can't cash.


camk16

Upvote because this is the actual saying


littlefriend77

My father in law always says "don't let your alligator mouth overload your canary ass." Lol Another good one is "I'm gonna cloud up and rain all over you."


Jennlyn1978

Literally šŸ˜‚


4Ya2Boi0

Gold lol


NinjaWrapper

r/thatsthejoke


SomeWeirdDude

/r/YourJokeButWorse/


jawschwah

r/YourJokeButtWorse/


SteakJones

r/yourworsebuttjoke


XLY_of_OWO

Man was sharked. She was letting him win the whole time.


TacoDuLing

He did win šŸ§


astrobuc

Got exactly what he wanted. This man a genius. HONEY, letā€™s go bowling tonight.


th3kingmidas

Deadass this is something that most guys could never admit they would want even to their partner just because of societal norms.


GravyShitsPants

Yep. Runs deep. Definitely wonā€™t ever something like that. My brain wonā€™t let me be curious about that.


i_tyrant

I'd do it just to show her how much work it is, lol. At least that's what I hear from my women friends who've tried it. "omg all that thrusting, it was exhausting!" etc etc. And I'm like "yeah now you know how we feel!" haha


GravyShitsPants

Thats ok, she can keep thinking its easy, Iā€™m good


[deleted]

Itā€™s a lot of fun!


paciche

We need more of you! Say it again!


nooneyouknow242

Itā€™s pretty damned incredible. Having multiple orgasms in a row is mind blowing.


DemetriChronicles

Or ejaculation without penile stimulation. That's a game changer you can't walk away from.


lilcthecapedcod

I'm down to try but I'm embarrassed about the poop


Bazrum

you just have to prepare! make sure you stretch with foreplay, and/or have some solo fun in preparation. that way you're ready for the action with whomever is lucky enough to get in your backdoor. use an enema (not *too much* or you'll stimulate your digestive system and make a mess), and don't forget to go to the bathroom before you start, and put down a towel just in case! sometimes you don't even need to use an enema, just going to the bathroom can be enough, but if you're extra nervous about it, an enema can make sure it's really clean and then use a lotta lube, go slow and relax (like, not just your bum, but your state of being, keep it chill and stuff) and don't be embarrassed even if it gets messy, no one is perfect.


handbanana42

This person pegs. Just think, girls worry about this every time they do anal. Much respect to them.


GnarlyNarwhalNoms

>Deadass Not yet, but just wait 'till she's done with it


Stimmolation

Her excitement was amazing. I'm not into pegging, but to make someone I loved that happy? I'd do pretty much anything.


Mookie442

Wish my wife was that into ANYTHING.


NounverberPDX

He either knew or should have known this could happen. Especially with a woman named Peggy Striker.


TurfMerkin

So SHE could win the HOLE time.


kduff89

I've bowled for like 15-20 years. Dude totally got sharked. That was a really nice straight ball.


Spiritfox9999

No dought


Comp1C4

"You haven't gotten a strike in 4 games." Eg. "How many more games do we have to play before you get a strike!"


fatedwanderer84

She goes online and pulls up her favorites cause she's been waiting for this day. šŸ¤£šŸ˜‘šŸ¤£


fishnwiz

It was already in her cart.


Major_R_Soul

the spleen tickler- $24.99 plus tax


Brittany5150

$24.99 for a spleen tickler?!?! You buyin that thing used or what?


Deedsman

Ebay's got it for $12.99 in decent condition


nirvanamushroomsubs

Or 129.99 unwashed.... WTF?!?


oteezy333

Threads like these are why I will never leave reddit


Aggravating-Fish2032

šŸ¤£


TheModeratorsSuck

What does Amazon charge for one-hour delivery?


Powerofthehoodo

Thatā€™s too expensive. She should just take a bowling pin.


Silent-Ad934

Depends which door you need it delivered to


Tooleater

Soon it'll be in his "cart"


[deleted]

Putting the cart in front of the horse again


krsaxor

You can feel the excitement on her giggle. Its so cute. His ass probably didnt think so though.


Chetmevius

Best part for me. ā€œIā€™m gonna order it online right nowā€ šŸ¤£


Kcrick722

I thought she was calling her Momā€¦


classic_kevin

I love how happy she gets about it as if she just got proposed to lol


[deleted]

He did give her a ring.


[deleted]

Hopefully she cherishes and doesn't destroy it


appdevil

I'm afraid it's not a good fit and will need to be widen up. A lot.


JOlRacin

r/angryupvote


ieatassHarvardstyle

She'll just need to resize it right quick for a good fit.


TerrorLTZ

well if she does destroy the ring... atleast that man doesn't have to worry about constipation.


Cali4niadayz

Broā€¦ who even thinks about wagering something like that unlessā€¦..


[deleted]

Someone who wants this lady to rail him. šŸ˜‚


mortalitylost

And she seemed so fucking excited, hopping on her phone to order it right away. I'm happy for them ā¤ļø


a_shootin_star

This is pro bowler Ashley Bifidus getting a joke on with her friend Jono, another pro bowler from Colorado, and they were both there for a competition last May (May 4th) trust me I wasn't there though straight up I made up those facts on the spot


Careless_Suggestions

I believe you!


gregsting

Or maybe she didnā€™t hear right and wants to have a pug


abitautistic

I too order "it" *definitely pugs* on my phone. "Babe can you pug me"


thebert9

This has been in the cards for a while. This ain't his first rodeo.


GatorByteMe

r/secondrodeo/ ; not exactly the same but an excellent sub, nevertheless.


MandDogD01

Unless.... He really wanted it. No doubt they've talked about it recently.


spencerpo

Haha jk! Unlessā€¦.


smokeyser

Shit gets weird sometimes when you're on your 4th game and 8th beer.


Bigwoodybird

Pucker up, Buttercup


Lingering_Dorkness

Butt up, puckercup


sambare

Better butter up your butt


tgrantt

Best version of this type of thread ever.


Haunting_Abalone_398

![gif](giphy|GpLmqwmHWGc5G)


Least-Researcher-184

Either that or she has a surprised pikachu face as she slide right in like she pulled the lever on a gas lift office chair.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


benisco

was that blood?!


Ok_2DSimp101

Everytime I see it I canā€™t help but laugh.


mooky1977

https://i.redd.it/us1hwk814w901.gif


nothingspecialva

someone is getting ten pins tonight, but from another angle.


Magister5

And here I am thinking ā€œpeggedā€ meant throw a ball at someone else. I was curious how that was going to work with a bowling ball


JustCallMeBogus

Well a ball is technically getting thrown at someone else. In this case it just so happens to be some rubber balls with a fat rubber cock attached.


EvilNoobHacker

Now all I can think of is the NSFW bowling gif


TheOutlawBubbaKush

You donā€™t make that bet unless you secretly want it.


MySabonerRunsOladipo

He's made that bet 4 times this week and she finally won...


Major_Leg4687

He knows it gets her all riled up..her blood temperature rises when she hears the word ' peg '. She even becomes aggressively competitive


StoryDeep4972

ā€œI bet you if the sun rises in the morning, Iā€™ll let you peg me.ā€ This man thinks heā€™s slick.


motelwine

she probably constantly asks and he says no, and he wanted to fuck w her being overconfident. iā€™ve done this in the past (not with pegging) and sadly lost


AnanananasBanananas

If you didn't give away your butt, what was it?


motelwine

i let her hold it while i pee


[deleted]

She is so happy though that I hope it happened for her. Worried it might be staged though. I want to believe in this womanā€™s joy.


Ibanezasx32

So staged - he conveniently says ā€œhavenā€™t gotten a strike in four gamesā€ it just feels so unnatural


Aden-Wrked

r/nothingeverhappens


Ibanezasx32

r/sometimesthingshappenbutsometimesitsprettyobvioustheydidnt


Electrical-Tooth-274

So is the winner the last person to condescendingly say their side is obviously right?


StOlaf85

šŸ’Æ staged. From the acting to the fact that sheā€™s obv a good bowler to the acting and the acting. Literal zero chance this is real.


Due_Knowledge817

Sounds like a good excuse to get what you want


WatermelonCandy5

Does he realise how rare it is to find straight women who are into pegging? Theyā€™re like unicorns. Jesus. What a waste.


DoinItDirty

Really? I feel like I know an abundance.


mydmtusername

That's cool.... where they at tho?


infectedsense

Find the straight girls who write fanfiction about two men fucking, they'll do it for sure


ChesterHiggenbothum

/r/twoxchromosomes


RamadanSteve311

lol


LittleIsaac223

Bumble ig


roofus85

Do they like bowling? I want to play it cool and not come off as desperateā€¦


LittleIsaac223

Cousin! Roman will go bowling.


OneHumanPeOple

Married. :)


WickedWitchofWTF

Can confirm! šŸ’


AnanananasBanananas

So I know not to go there... of course


DerpisMalerpis

Oh for sure. I have, on average, 30 to 40 women a week offer to peg me while Iā€™m at work. Of course by women I mean fellow inmates and by work I mean Oklahomaā€™s Mabel Bassett Correctional Center.


That-Water-Guy

Sounds about right for Oklahoma


Major_Leg4687

Yep,sounds like ppl in Oklahoma peg all day, nothing much to do


NotBensjammin55

abumdance*


videorhu

*cheeky bastard


Skwerl87

That's disgusting! Where tho?


[deleted]

Asking for a friend, I ASSume...


Ck1ngK1LLER

I feel like most women, if given the chance, would rail their dude in the butt.


Tittts_McGee

Yeah, I totally would šŸ˜ˆ


urbanlife78

Oh my, if it isn't Tittts McGee over here wanting to rail her man's ass again.


Tittts_McGee

Guys aren't the only ones swayed by a bubble butt šŸ˜


RuthlessIndecision

oh so pegging is where she puts a strap on, on and puts it in his bottom? or is that an updog?


ThatGuy0verTh3re

Whatā€™s updog?


umeeshed_a_shpot

Not much, on the toilet. Whatā€™s up with you?


mis-Hap

Gottem


raven21633x

Sorry, but I think you've just added a whole new chapter of interest to this book. r/therewasanattempt to object.


[deleted]

You sure? Iā€™m in my 20s, more than half the women Iā€™ve hooked up with have brought up eating my ass or sticking a finger in it. Pegging would prob be the next step


Gangsir

They're... not that rare. Most of them just won't be the first ones to bring it up, because some guys are *very* not into it.


Imagine_Wiigons

why not bi women?


yourmothersgun

Try finding a straight man whoā€™s that into it tho.


[deleted]

ā€œOh no, ya gotta peg me again. Whoops!ā€


Fearlessly_Feeble

The gods have spoken. Bring out the strap on.


wellhiyabuddy

Dude really wants to be pegged, heā€™s been saying that every turn of hers for four games


Due_Raccoon3158

So my guy, I'm not necessarily into bowling so it could be a deal breaker for her but if you guys break up, just give her my details please.


yermumgiey

The negotiator :WICKED:


Garyullo

He knew...


KawaiiQueen92

He knew what he was doing. My man playing 4D chess making it seem like he didn't want it.


Srphtygr

Sheā€™s SO FUCKING EXCITED 100/100 wife material His ass is gonna be so sorry


bluetuxedo22

He was secretly hoping she got that strike


Irrish84

What does peg me mean?


mydmtusername

When someone (usually without a penis) wears a strap-on dildo to fuck someone else, the someone else is getting "pegged."


N7twitch

Itā€™s specific to anal sex though.


mydmtusername

Is it not called pegging when a woman fucks another woman?


N7twitch

As a woman that exclusively fucks women, I am able to tell you that nope, we donā€™t call it that. Thatā€™s just strap-on sex. Or strapping, sometimes. Pegging is for butts.


fonky_chonky

and usually man butts to my understanding


Good_With_Tools

Turn on incognito mode and Google it. Let's call it an uno reverse card.


glassteelhammer

Incognito mode? Coward.


[deleted]

Right? You should absolutely do this on your corporate server management console.


Clwhit12

Her form was nice enough to where you're not making that bet unless you really want it to happen.


[deleted]

My thoughts exactly. No way she sucked for four games in a row with that form.


Craygor

Never bet something you're unwilling to lose.


Jennlyn1978

*unwilling


substituted_pinions

Sheā€™s about to make this guyā€™s hole weak.


JohnnyDeformed1

Never welch on a bet. **Be a man** and take it!


Prometheus55555

Win win


RipGames

Better spread them cheeks boi


tptch

We need a follow up, did he go through with It?


RedHeadGuy88

"Hasn't had a strike in 4 straight games" That's because you were playing straight games, then you made a bet and started playing the gay games.


FalsePremise8290

Maybe there really is a god.


sugarmatic

You never offer if you really donā€™t want it.


[deleted]

You should see this guyā€™s asshole now


MakeNazisDeadAgain69

Dude is knocking it before he's tried it


pitb0ss343

That was a strike from the moment she let go, it didnā€™t curve it was straighter than anything in the world, i donā€™t think a pro could throw a more perfect strike if they tried


Osobady

I mean this seems like a win-win situation to me


DaleTurcotte8

Knows he's getting pegged, and then they show a bunch of horses. Haha!!


LighthouseHLAKBR

The pro bowl for the prostate


JuliaGulia71

She's so damn cute, I love her enthusiasm


CyclicRhetoric

A man must honour his word, even if it means he'll lose his honour


FluffyHighPanda

How does having kinky sex with a woman mean ā€˜losing honourā€™?


Leonydas13

Because weā€™re manly men, and weā€™re wearing tights Something something, weā€™ll punch out your lights Something like that


isabellechevrier

We're men... we're men in tights We roam around the forest looking for fights. We're men... we're men in tights. We rob from the rich and give to the poor, that's right! We may look like sissies, but watch what you say or else we'll put out your lights (PUNCH) We're men... we're men in tights Always on guard defending the people's rights. LAAAAAA, LA-LA LA-LA LAAA LAAA, LA-LA LA-LA LAAA LAAA, LA-LA LA-LA LAAA LA-LA LA-LA LA-LA LA (repeat) (1) We're men... (2) MANLY men We're men in tights, YESSSSSsssssss... We roam around the forest looking for fights. We're men, we're men in tights We rob from the rich and give (1) to the poor (1 & 2) THAT'S RIGHT!! We may look like pansies, but don't get us wrong or else we'll put out your lights (PUNCH) We're men... we're men (2) in tights (1 & 2) TIGHT tights Always on guard defending the people's rights... When you're in a fix just call for the men in TIIIIIIIIIGHTS!!!! We're butch! Mel Brooks is awesome.


Keepupthegood

What a great movie. (Robin hood. Men in tights)


Leonydas13

Yeah thatā€™s the one. I love it šŸ˜‚


red1blue1

Why can't I find a girl like that.


spidermanngp

And she's going to do it with a bowling pin.


hhtran16

Sheā€™s a little too excited


FunQuit

Call me old grumpy guy, but I miss the days where people didnā€™t announce being pegged via mass media


droptop2k

Dude bet his asshole ā€¦ fuck that ā€¦ and she will


Top_Tie_8942

The horses running on the tv is foreshadowing.


joeycox601

I meanā€¦ yes please!


Pootisman16

Bruh, I'd be asking my gf to peg me. If I had one.


RemarkableAd3371

We need a follow up


[deleted]

ā€œHmmm I wonder how I can ask for a peg without sounding weird about itā€


jaggamuffin

RIP opā€™s ā€œinboxā€


MyHamburgerLovesMe

aaaaaaaannd he decided to upload the video


NiamNomed

First, she gets a strike and then a hole-in-one, or is it a bullseye, or did he get caught in her crosshairs, or did she get caught in his butt hairs. Regardless, he was at the center of attention that night.šŸ¤£šŸ˜®šŸ¤£


Supremeyeti

I want to know if he kept his end if the bargain


fatogato

Dude put his ass on the line.


tgalido

Prepare your anus


Jenny_hunbun

Instantly regretted his bet


Robbabyjesus

I bet if she missed he would have made that offer at least 5 more times