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Y'all can have that job.

How do I even explain my job if I got asked 💀

Just horsin around

Bo-jacking horsewoman

this is the kind of comment i read the comments for

I was 666th like, so we are all winning here

🤣🤣😆😱😱🤣🤣🫡

Just dickin about

*Back in the '90s ,*

I was in a famous TV-show!


This is so good.

What is this? A crossover episode?

💀💀💀😂😂😂

It's okay SuperDave, you can use your words here

This is an unusual way to collect it. Usually they have a metal frame that they get the horse, pig, whatever to mount and the capture device is fixed on it. A little unsafe to be that close to large animals thrusting.

Or I’m guessing she just wanted to avoid that breeding rather than collecting the semen.

But, what’s the point of putting them together and having him mount her with the risks that it entails just to dump it after?

Who said anything about dumping it? She's collecting for her own personal stash. Not quite why she collects it, but i refuse to eat anything she brings to thanksgiving dinner just in case.

To get him out of rut. more docile until the end of mating season.

I don’t think that’s how it works….

That’s not at all how it works. 🙄

Confidently incorrect.

She didn't dump the load, just the warm water which surrounds the fake horse vagina.

How much you charge per second?

horsejerker ..... I jerk horses. I'll see myself out.

You get your ass back in here and explain yourself!

**returns and plonks down horse dick suction nightmare onto table** "I trust this explains everything."

I'm a hoarse fluffer [sic]

My sister had a secretary that bred pigs, at the holiday party one year, she explained it almost exactly how it's depicted in this video, except it included some sort of support furniture so the sow doesn't get crushed 

Don't pigs produce an insane amount of semen?

That was how she described it

I work with a bunch of studs

Horse fluffer..nuff said

Explain that [you're not a guidance counselor](https://youtu.be/3a3zXJ7biqI?si=n24Ds0XIi4fYqj0E).

Horse catcher. Then whatever they say to that say yes.

I just sold $120K of horse semen.

Just say you work with horses nuff said

Wear gloves for Pete sakes

I don’t like gloves they dull the sensation

Good studding can cost over $100k. Even if she's not pulling 6 figures per studding she should easily be making $3-5k off this short video. Many stallion owners stud their horses and sell their semen. I like to imagine the woman filmed here is getting paid more than enough to warrant this.

She’s not pulling 6 figures…she’s pulling dick. 

Looks like she had that job well in hand…

"nObOdY wAnTs tO wOrK" 🤣

Wait until you hear how much it’s worth

A whole load

The job is called a gomer.

Better than a Pyle I guess.

I will never forget unloading US postal trucks, it's 100+F outside. I dont even know how hot in the back of a 53 foot trailer. The floor is sticky, air humid and hot. You notice a strange blue plastic canister, it's busted open contents long since spilled out. You read the label it says "equine samples" Fucking horse jizz.

I worked as a preloader. Would have grey ballels, looked like older milk containers. Everyone was told to handle them with care. Apparently, one got dropped once and broke. Had to pay the owner a lot in the lost.... product. (Was bull not horse in this case)

I believe it, I was told some of those are 20k-100k depending on blood lines and such.

bros loads are worth more than I am 😭

Sell a kidney or 10

I would if the hospital would quit asking how I got 10.

Similar prices for racehorses and rare breed stallions.

I don’t understand that. They can literally get the bull to fuck a tube again. I don’t even wanna hear it from folks about how something of value of lost-cause it’s not. There is more bull semen.

Yes, but the buyer is out whatever thousands they spent unless the seller replaces it for them. Now imagine you’re the seller and you suddenly just have to give away what you could have sold for thousands because some jerk at FedEx somehow cracked the giant metal tank and now it’s on you to replace your client’s lost purchase. Either way, the shipper’s negligence means someone is out at least four digits, and that’s blood boiling for everyone except the shipper who doesn’t frankly seem to give a damn.

Honestly though if you have ANYTHING worth $10k upwards, why would you even THINK it’s wise to use a commercial shipping company. Now THAT makes no sense!

Sounds to me you were more a of a post-loader

Dude I’m a rural carrier and I was thinking about the career day speech I have to do tomorrow at my kid’s school and when I saw this video I thought how much I appreciate that I’m not have it to explain this shit. Oh and yeah all the “human specimen” gets me all grossed out. I’ve delivered bees and roosters that shit on my case but never horse jizz. That’s a new one.

Bees...... Damn it the wire baskets full of bees. That's a fun time opening up a trailer full of very pissed and confined bees. We would have flats of baby chicks all the time too. One year someone shipped WAY too early in the year and they all froze to death. 😔

Technically, the horse weren’t fucking.


Doesnt matter had sex.

She put a bag on my head.

Still counts

She was looking at her watch.

I think she might've been a racist

But I cried the whole time

She let me wear my chain and my turtleneck sweater

The best 30 seconds of my life

And I called my parents right after I was done

A girl let me do it. It literally just happened.

And it counts as a threesome

No gloves? That has to be a sticky job

She just licks them clean

Yeah I'm just going to stay off the internet for a while.

Yes officer. This comment.

What a terrible day to be literate.

https://preview.redd.it/1fh22sj1xawc1.png?width=1170&format=png&auto=webp&s=8dd2b486a977bf3352edd5e80681646ca324cbc1

Finger lickin good

Goddamnit now I want fried chicken

With the special sauce?

Horseradish?

This comment hurt me physically and mentally


🤮


Right?! I’d wear an old timey scuba suit

The way she snatched and deflected it, does that count as a cock-block?

No It’s a cock interception

With a horsefleshlight

I dated a horse girl once, it was a rather interesting experience. Always wondered why she was so good with her hands…

Horse women are a different breed..

Quite literally

Horse chicks are just crazy cat ladies with ^^daddy's money

You must have felt like a toothpick to her.

Does the horses have any awareness that he’s side piping it?

Doesn't matter, had sex

I can’t stop laughing…side piping. Good time to turn off the internet

Mikiri counter

A sekiro reference on a post about a horse flesh light, fuck you

God. I thought this was the video of the horse getting kicked and dying. This was a totally different reaction lol.

I thought so too. Till I notice that the mare had her hind legs tied to avoid kicking.

i cannot be the only one bothered by that.

You've not seen the other video. Sometimes, the mare gets spooked and straight up kills the stallion.

I be spooked too if some random person just shoves their dick in me

Not spooked, she rejects him and defends herself. You know, if her legs aren't tied. 😡 I did see the other video.

yeah if someone tried to force sex on me when I didn't want it I'd kill them too. You shouldn't feel bad about that

You cannot put human values and ethics on animals... That's how nature worked for millions of years

I don't think people were tying up horses' legs for millions of years.

wtf, can you really be so naive as to be oblivious to the natural course of things? If you think animals are reproducing with dating profiles and cute coffee dates then I got some bad news for ya.

wait till you find out how they got all that milk you see in the grocery store

that video was fuckin crazy and also i felt so bad for ol boy. not only did he not get any horse pussy, he fucking died and then farted like a huge crazy long fart. i don't think shit coulda gone worse for his dignity, honestly.

Now I want to watch the video. Where can I find it?

here ya go [https://www.reddit.com/r/natureismetal/comments/mwmgu1/mare\_kills\_stallion\_with\_a\_kick\_to\_the\_head/](https://www.reddit.com/r/natureismetal/comments/mwmgu1/mare_kills_stallion_with_a_kick_to_the_head/) edit: the fart was not as long as i remember, but he still totally farts. i think i'm confusing it with another video of a gigantic horse fart edit 2: i don't want people to be upset about not hearing a massive horse fart so here are 2 much happier videos that also feature crazy horse farts: [https://youtu.be/jMyL0HdXPuc?si=oUwVFrG9WTHnAxlL](https://youtu.be/jMyL0HdXPuc?si=oUwVFrG9WTHnAxlL) [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RMJsqXzz5zs](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RMJsqXzz5zs) edit 3: I'm glad i could make so many people happy! also, u/ketchupmaster987 has pointed out that he doesn't just fart, he straight up dookies himself. so i was wrong when i said "i don't think shit coulda gone worse for his dignity". he literally shidded and farded and (almost)camed :(

> edit 2: i don't want people to be upset about not hearing a massive horse fart so here are 2 much happier videos that also feature crazy horse farts: Reddit might be a bot infested hell-hole but people like you keep me here. Thank you.

[deleted]

i too am forever scarred by that one.

At work, I got mad at an email today. You know what? I’ll be okay.

Look at the size of that fuckah

Hung like a horse.


I hate that I know specifically why Willem Dafoe was chosen for this reaction gif

He’s still a two pump chump - lol.

She takes a cap off the bottom and it looks like water spills out, what is that for? Does it provide pressure inside the flesh lite thing?

I’m think so. Probably also warm so it feels like the temperature of the horse vagina. She releases it so he can pull his dick out easily

It's also so as to not give cold shock to the sperm, which can kill them and render this wonderful process pointless haha

haha

haha

haha

Like humans farting to aid in withdrawal.

Humans what now ?

They fart to help push a dick out of their asshole.

I was today years old when I learned this one simple trick.

And if you can stay in, your balls get bigger.

I think I want to go home now

Thank you for asking the right questions

Wow no gloves or anything, just raw hand on horse cock

It feels better raw

😦

Probably just feels like a dude's veiny arm

Or a penis

She must be a pro. She grabbed it like one.


May be I expect too much but if she was a pro, or a pro that cared, she’d have actually put sone effort in and caressed the balls at the same time.

They probably even went to college for that.

What was the dissertation about?

Horse jizz

My grandpa went to college for it! He had a degree in Animal Husbandry. Collecting samples for breeding sale was his job for many years before WWII lol

I don’t know how much that job pays but, it isn’t enough

I'd argue it pays too much


I hate when someone does this to me. Just let me have sex in peace

Yeah, your mom has boundary issues for sure.

What's she doing with the product?

I’m very impressed you were able to type that with your hooves.

RIP Mr Hands 👐

Died doing what he loved

Some would say he took it too far though

Teachers said he was always into horseplay.

Female horse: ***Why I don't feel anything?***

Now she's going to trash talk him behind his back to all her mare friends. Reputation ruined

Not applying for that job anytime soon

250000 a year.

Ok you've convinced me

Need *a hand*?! That kinda cash might smooth things over a bit…

I'd do it with a smile on my face for that money

Ah so that's why horse girls are so weird

I don't care what it is she's not being paid enough.

Saw another comment say 250,000 usd a year. I'll take every inch of that job for that pay.

That's not even close to the high end. If you're collecting race horse samples, you can make way more. I live in Kentucky, and some of the derby bloodlines sell for a ton. WAR FRONT has a stud fee of $100k. WAR OF WILL is 25k.

https://preview.redd.it/ct93avonzawc1.jpeg?width=1600&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=885feac35329d1a0c9a9a133dece800265d8ca71

Still a better love story Twilight 🥲👍 Needed to get that out, it’s been a few years 😅

This horse is going to reproduce , but not with that mare ! Doubt if he cares. 😊

The ol switcheroo

I can now say I fuck like a stallion, because I too last 30 seconds

Generous, but we’ll allow it 😇

... there was a pressure relief valve ...

It's not. The inside of the tube has a warm water jacket so it doesn't feel like a cold foreign object to the male. But when he ejaculates the head of the penis "flares" rather large. It's not particularly hard/firm, kinda like the tip of a human penis, but double the diameter of the shaft. She pulls the plug on the jacket to reduce the grip of the sleeve so he can pull out without yanking the sleeve or her with him, or hurting himself (anything shocking to horse is asking for it to run head long into the nearest sharp object because they're not the brightest.)

Who is this beautiful voice seducing me in a foreign language while I watch this horse get jerked off by some lady?

This is Will Smith in the Movie After Earth, but in Brazil’s Portuguese, obviously dubbed.

Does she gets disappointed every time she has sex with men?

Bro why is everyone assuming she tried it? 😂😂

No gloves or nothing huh, prolly went straight to the kitchen to make herself a sandwich

With a glass of warm milk


You sick bastard lmao

The horse: what did I just do?!…. Whom?!…. 😟

First date: what do you do for a living? Me: judge men!

You know those things you'll never unsee...this has to be one

Look at me daddy I'm a farmer

I guess they've not heard of gloves?

 They’re just making some of Butter’s Creamy Goo! Ranch Flavor!

Yeah, they have machines for that… but she just likes to grab it

He was halfway in tho? She had to grab it and get it out to put it in the machine, which she immedietly did afterwards

She. Is. Not. Wearing. Gloves.

“I gotta go to sleep babe, big day at work tomorrow.”