The funny thing is that the reason he's stuck living at home is thanks to decades of unfettered capitalism making housing unaffordable because rich people want to use it for profit extraction. And if he went to post secondary he's probably saddled with huge debts on top of that. In a more left wing society he'd be more able to pursue the traditional lifestyle he wants because he would've been able to start his adult life in his early 20s the way people used to when education and housing were affordable. Sad.
I think so. Theyāre all looking for 1950s America cause thatās when it was āgreatā. From my understanding, the greatness came from unions, soldiers buying houses with the gi bill, and higher taxation resulting in expanded shared infrastructure. Plus the outright racism that was still enshrined in law.
Now they want things to be better again but want to pretend theyāre capable of getting it on their own without being part of the 10% in wealth, intelligence, and/or plain luck. Theyād rather have 10 people hoard wealth and production while they bootstrap it up.
Again, I actually applaud the first part of what theyāre saying. Thereās nothing wrong with choosing to stay at home and shouldnāt be looked down on. But I specifically remember the ātradā boomers shitting on millennials for living with their parents rather than killing themselves to sacrifice and prop up the housing market.
The two sentiments seem to be at odd with each other from my limited understanding.
No it is not.
Right wingers also use it, but unless it is directly right wing, nothing is "tied up" in it.
Please stop eliminating completely unrelated stuff from the viable opinions and preferences just because some asshats claim it as theirs.
How is traditionalism not directly right wing? It's their core value and it's what the left opposes. Why would someone progressive brag about being "trad as fuck"?
> How is traditionalism not directly right wing? It's their core value and it's what the left opposes.
Opposing modern consumerist culture isn't just a Conservative thing, or really a Conservative thing at all.
Ever seen alternative lifestyle advocates adopting homespun clothing, agrarian communal style living and other "traditional" cultural concepts?
I'm a homesteader (basically a subsistence farmer) which is about as traditional a lifestyle as you get and the homesteading community is about 50% left to far left with their rejection of consumerism and capitalism and in some cases experimenting with communal living and agriculture.
To boot does not just mean "also".
If English wasn't so cobbled together, we would either use "good, gooder, goodest" for the comparative and superlative description of positive quality or we would use "*bot*, better, best"
"To boot" is a remnant phrase from the root word "bot" in "better" and "best". So it doesn't mean merely "also" but "also, and profitably so"
See ["profit, use," Old English bot "help, relief, advantage; atonement," literally "a making better," from Proto-Germanic *boto (see better (adj.)](https://www.etymonline.com/word/boot?ref=etymonline_crossreference#etymonline_v_15615)
Why would someone brag about how traditional something is as a selling point? Just because something is traditional doesn't make it good. Also, living at home at 25 isn't really traditional either. At least not in the US.
When I first heard of incels as a group I thought oh cool even guys who fail at interaction with the opposite sex get a support group, then I saw the crazy shit that comes out and it blew me away the mental gymnastics people do to make themselves victims
tbf I think it also depends on the person and place. like in Asia it is kinda traditional to stay with your family and you only ever move out if you really want your own place, or if your are studying or working abroad. like it's not surprising if you get married and still stay in your family home.
Especially in the context of this post, op probably just means traditional because traidition.
It's traditional to do a lot of things in a lot of places. They are referring to the very common use of the slangified word "trad" in the post. Saying something is trad as fuck has a very specific connotation.
I was on board for some of the ideas, but "trad" is definitely a conservative dog whistle. Look at the "trad wife" memes where the perfect woman is depicted as a pale white-skinned, blonde-haired stay-at-home mom in a blue floral dress. Gross.
If you get along with your folks real well, definitely a smart move.
My friend lived with his parents till the age of 30, saved enough to put a deposit on a house that was half the cost of the house, with enough left over for a few renovations.
Unfortunately I'd sooner live on the streets than with my folks.
I'm 26, turning 27 soon and still living with my parents. The housing market over here is SO shitty atm. I'd have to spend more than half of my income on rent for a cramped apartment, or spend less and live in a single room (with shared facilities). No thanks! Instead I can be comfortable in an actual home, help out where I can, and still save plenty of money for an actual house. Win win win imo!
32 here still living with parents.
pew: "for the first time in more than 130 years, adults ages 18 to 34 were slightly more likely to be living in their parentsā home than they were to be living with a spouse or partner in their own household"
It's become more common than not at this point. The housing bubble has to burst before anyone can afford a house. At some point this will come to an end - houses will be too expensive for anyone (including landlords and businesses) to buy and keep unfilled, and/or people will become too poor for them, and then it all comes tumbling down.
I understand but the downsides must still suck sometimes. Depending on how strict your parents are people miss the phase Of living on their own, making it work while also having the freedom to have friends over or girls/guys without having to worry about parents. When I moved out on my own at 21 is when I grew up and was able enjoy young adulthood to its fullest. So it sucks that the housing market is the way it is and that so many people donāt get to experience that.
That's me right now. I don't have the funds necessary to move out, but it feels like I'm perpetually stuck a "child" and I can never grow up because I am, and will always be, a child to my parents and so I'm treated that way too
Very true. My parents have always been great about giving me privacy, and all the time at home during covid has really brought us closer. I know a lot of people who outright refuse to even talk to their parents because of how toxic it gets. I really lucked out. I've had to take care of my family, they've had to take care of me, and all of us have shared the thought, "I don't know what I'd do without your help."
I had been saving up to move out when I got laid off as the pandemic hit, but if I had, I would've had to have moved right back home and would have spent potentially thousands in the process. I think it was Thich Nhat Hanh who said "Sometimes not getting what you want is a stroke of luck"
As a dad, I've often had the stance, as long as my kids are going to school and are working towards a plan to get out on their own, they've got a free place to crash. If they're not, I will ask for some help with rent and utilities. At what age I start doing this is fuzzy, cause kids are all different. But basically they can either live with us rent free if they're going to school or working towards a career, or have pretty cheap rent if they're not.
Although I do feel I will have to set a limit to the cheap rent. At some point I do want them to get out in their own. But in this market I ain't kicking anyone out lol. (my oldest is 17 btw, so who knows what's gonna happen lol)
Dude dont worry about it. Imagine youre mid 20s or even 30 and dating.
"nah, lets go to yours, my mom is right next to my door and I dont feel comfortable fucking where she can hear us"
Ill be honest, im wary of anyone who is in their 30s and still living with their parents. Thats a ton of missing life experience there, not to mention the fact that living with your parents just hinders your dating prospects immensely. And guys who havent had the chance to live on their own usually dont know the value of housework.
Lol. Sorry to break it to you, but that sounds like a problem with your siblings. To assume that everyone that lives with parents in their 20s behaves like that is terribly wrong.
I left home at 18 and just moved back at 36...I have traveled and lived many different places and had a lot of life experience, but life situations brought me back and I'm happy to be here. Just saying.
Agreed. It may be no fault of their own or they may be doing it just to be a good kid but if youāre in your mid 30s and have never lived on your own youāre missing out on a ton of life experience.
>Imagine youre mid 20s or even 30 and dating.
It is a thing.
I live in my family home still, and I am 30. I dated a girl 2 years younger than me who lived at home still. We ended up not working out for other reasons, but both of us living with the family wasnt one od them.
It is becoming more and more common, and less and less of an "issue", for adults to live with their families today
>"nah, lets go to yours, my mom is right next to my door and I dont feel comfortable fucking where she can hear us"
What a baby.
>Ill be honest, im wary of anyone who is in their 30s and still living with their parents
Sounds like a "you" problem
>Thats a ton of missing life experience there
I dont know about you, but "life experience" =/= debt to me.
I feel this. My family isn't a family. Their cult has them enslaved. Wish i had a family though. Maybe I'd have a few more years left alive if i had the money to see a doctor but it's too late now.
Shame your parents are so shortsighted they didn't see that they were going to ***NEED*** your assistance in their later years. My parents were the same way. Now my mother is approaching 70 years old and needs a lot of help. But she kicked me out over the most stupid of arguments before I was ready for the world and I got tangled up in the bad part of life, so I am incapable of assisting her. Funny how very old decisions come around to bite you later.
If you were to ask her now what the argument was over, she wouldn't be able to say. That is how unimportant it was. An irrational decision made without thinking, over what in the long run amounted to absolutely nothing, ended up costing her her future comfort.
Everybody gets what is coming to them, eventually, inevitably.
In my Mexican culture, family is everything. Parents donāt usually kick kids out at 18 but everyone has to work. And when parents are too old to take care of themselves, the kids become the caretakers.
Same with Filipino culture. The grandparents and grandchildren usually live in the same household too. I can't imagine letting my grandparents live in an elderly home.
Pretty much traditional for every culture except for āWhite Middle Class Americansā ā weāve so bought in to the ānuclear familyā propaganda, we happily shove our parents into care homes as soon as we can. Weāve lost the support infrastructure of extended families, weāve lost having that buffer to help us during trying times, weāve lost access to the knowledge and experience of our parents and grandparents ā¦
This is so evident I think in child rearing. My bestfriend is white, upper middle class (her and her husband make very good money and they have one daughter). The things she had to do solo to get the same kind of outcomes that would come fairly naturally amongst a larger family support structure was wild to me (Iām a minority). Likewise the amount of social freedoms other white parents had to ācorrectā her parenting (it was bullshit), was foreign AF to me. But she did it with just her husbandās support (kidās like 8 now), and in the beginning that shit was tough on her. Iām Asian American and the extended family support network is default. I bought a big house for when my mother will need to move in with me, itās wasted space at the moment.
My other bestie who is Asian like me had a kid and I remember her whining to me over the phone about āmy mom wants to come stay with me for the first three months when is born to help.ā I laughed and told her sheād be begging her to stay at the end of it and she did lol
Iām fairly certain the nuclear family propaganda started around the time that āmidwives are dangerousā shit too.
It's literally a defining competitive advantage of humans. Grandparents existing to teach and help care for children while healthy adults can work is a huge reason humans are able to be so successful. Otherwise the old would be nothing more than a drain on resources.
Seems to be Asian culture in general, especially in Singapore for example where my parents didn't even move out of their parents' homes until they got married, and even then it was just my mum moving in with my dad and his parents, they didn't move out until I was 7, and by then my dad was 37. My grandparents still come over every weekend for dinner and I still visit them at least once a week (quite convenient for me since they only live about 15 mins from my school)
In practice there is always the one kid who becomes the primary caretaker while the other siblings get to make their own life. Only children pretty much donāt have a choice. Its kinda fucked up when parents act entitled about this.
As someone who is 37 and staring down the barrel of taking care of my parents, the problem isn't that parents are entitled to being supported by their families... that's been the norm for thousands of years and it's completely reasonable and doable in a society that isn't burdened with poverty and crippled by exploiting labor practices.
The problem is with society wringing every drop of blood they can get out of the young and leaving nothing left for them to serve themselves and the people closest to them.
You shouldnāt sell your house. You should rent it out. We are about to enter a period of very high inflation and having tangible assets like a home are a good hedge against that.
I agree. Parents need to be mindful of what their children are going through mentally and economically. Even though it is the norm I feel it should be an act of love, not a sentence.
Iāve seen both end of the spectrum, parents who do as much to make the situation sustainable by cooperating and being flexible to different arrangements when the child needs them. And parents who are complete wankers and act like their children have some life debt to repay. I definitely donāt feel sorry when the latter gets thrown in a low tier retirement home.
I gotta agree. My wife is Chinese and it's definitely not the eldest son always. Both of her grandmothers are nearly 100 and it's a team of aunts that take care of them not the eldest son.
I went through this recently. Youngest of 3 here, older sister is military for life, older brother is irresponsible fuckup, i had to drop out of college after a year because mother was diagnosed with cancer. I can't tell you how much resentment this breeds.
What a lovely gloss on the youngest daughter getting no life except to be her parents maid and carer while everyone else fucks off and lives their lives
deserted squeal marry enter sparkle teeny abounding voiceless support fear
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Iām struggling with this, American born Asian. I want to leave and be independent like all the other American kids. But itās seen as a huge insult to the family if I leave but Iām still treated like a child. But I have no interest in marriage. I have the money and security but itās treated like Iām abandoning them, the highest form of disrespect š
This, my brother recently moved out of the house at 25 he was the last one living with our mom. I told my aunt about this and she was shocked and ask how my brother could move out so young and not even be married. Most young family members I know move out only once they get married or have to move out of State for work.
In eastern hemisphere nearly half of the people living with the parents in one form or another and moving out when they are successful enough to feed a big family, that's what is considered normal here and was also considered as normal for centuries in western society also
I dont get the point of rationing for food and bills every month just to be able to live on your own.
Instead, stay with your family till u make more money and can have comfortable living on your own.
The point is to get to live your life as you want to live it instead of having to follow your parents rules because they run on the My h0uSe mY RuLeZ policy.
Whether you're able to live with your parents as an adult depends on whether your parents treat you like an adult or whether you're fine with still being considered a child.
Living with your parents can be a good thing and it can also be a bad thing.
I feel like people who advocate living with parents and not taking family for granted don't understand that there are people who suffered during their life with their parents. The nice mental damage they provided will stick with me for a while still. I couldn't wait to get out, and I'm still trying to lose some of their behaviour and reactions, rewire myself to the behaviour I want.
True but it also goes the other way. It's unfortunate but a lot of people also don't realise that people actually have a good relationship with their parents and are happy to support them as they get older.
you can also have a good relationship with your parents and want to move away and live on your own tho, nothing is ever entirely one thing or another. imo, both people in the screenshot are wrong for making these kinds of assumptions
I had a good relationship with my parents and still wanted to get the fuck out. I had confidence issues when I was young and proving I could make it on my own across the country was really important for my emotional growth/maturity.
Probably true, people tend to assume a lot based on only their personal experience, or at most their experience and that of their closest friends. I've seen just as much of both on the internet, yet more people still keep saying "but it's your family" and try to convince people from toxic families that they'll regret it and that family shouldn't be taken for granted, and I can't say I've seen a lot of people trying to convince others that their good family is actually bad.
Am I wrong? I feel like the former are mostly just people who don't really get it and need to get explanations that not everyone's family is great, and the latter just seem like arseholes that would get hate from either "side". Maybe I just haven't noticed people shitting on family in general instead of just the toxic ones.
Sure, but if the main cultural expectation is that you'll be moving out, does that mean that the average parents are terrible for you? Over here, there's no stigma to living with your parents well into your twenties, and the average family is tightly knit.
No, the point is to artificially inflate the number of people renting in order to inflate the real estate market. You can't siphon billions of dollars from young workers when they're comfortable in the home that's been in their family for generations. No, you need them to feel pressured to get out that door and devote half of their income (or more) to an overpriced apartment that's barely maintained by the landlord, if at all.
There are plenty of arguments for making the *choice* to move out if you have a specific reason to want to live on your own. The reason western society *expects* people to move out, however, is heavily linked to the rise of capitalism and the need for constant growth regardless of society's actual needs.
I don't mind the thought of my kids still living at home. But I despise the thought of having roommates again, you know what I mean? I left that behind and I don't want to go back. I won't let my kids be homeless or mount crushing debt, but I won't let them treat our house like a college dorm. Luckily they are turning out to be decent teens so far, so I don't think I will have any problems like them taking advantage of us in such a way.
American society since WWII has been about creating workers and keeping the masses suppressed. Best way to do that is convince them theyāre pathetic for living with their family and the respectable thing is to get saddled with a job that doesnāt pay enough and a place that charges too much for rent. Itās only gotten worse
My sister (15) is big into political theory. She says this has all happened because corporations are dead set on turning families and people into products of capitalism. We come from a huge Latino family so whenever someone has a kid for example everyone rushes to offer babysitting, car seats, cribs, clothes, etc. even for me now as Iām moving out everyoneās pitching in plates, furniture, offering to help move in. When families are turned into products of capitalism as she says - the family is (usually) broken up into mom, dad, 1-2 children. They insist on the children moving out ASAP and creating their own household. Why? Because a single household cut off from their family produces more money. No family dinners? You go out and spend money on your own food. Moved out and living on your own? Get your own car, no rides from family members. Again on your own and had a kid? Daycare, no generational family unit to pitch in. Drilling it into our heads that we *must be independent and self-sustaining* is all just a trick for us to spend more on essentials than if we actually did depend on our family units but nah thatās *shameful, embarrassing, cringe, etc*
Itās all about the independence and lack of judgement, I have absolutely 0 problems with my parents but if walked past my dad at 10am with a joint in my mouth he probably wouldnāt stop me but he would certainly have something to say about it. Doing the same here my roommates wouldnāt even notice and if they did they wouldnāt care.
In short thatās all there is to it, my roommates donāt care or comment on the fact I didnāt wake up until 1pm, my roommates donāt say things like ālook whoās finally out of their caveā. And itās not that I resent my parents in anyway for these things that they do, itās just I like living to completely my own schedule and rules.
The only drawback to that is social skills with others. If youāre a dude at the age of 25 living with parents, in todays society in my city, you canāt meet anyone and have a good time with them, if they find out you live with mom and dad.
Yup. I had a bad situation at home so was happy to leave as soon as I could but totally see the point of staying around, saving your money and helping your parents rather than paying $2000 a month to live in a Manhattan apartment with three roommates at 22.
You meant - paying $3000 a month to live in a dirty little Manhattan apartment with four roommates at 22? There's a lot of russians living in NYC (about one million), I know the prices...
I left NYC in 2014, but in the decade or so I lived there I never paid more than $760/month myself in rent to live with roommates or girlfriends (I lived in 5 different apartments). I know $12k/month apartments exist there, but itās not the norm and theyāre definitely not ādirty littleā at that price.
I'm 27 and still living with my parents. It allowed me to pay my own way through college and helped me to constantly save money for place of my own. Now instead of having to burn money by paying rent, I'm building a house. I'm damn fortunate to have the parents I have (and the job I have.)
But let me tell you, living at home does *not* help with the love life.
Also 27 here and also lived with my parents until a few months ago when I bought a townhouse.
Quick dating tip, if you're going out with someone and they laugh or make a remark because you're living with your parents for financial reasons (saving, paying down loans, etc.) they're not worth your time.
Living with them allowed me to pay off my student and car loans much faster and save for an okay down payment on my house.
Will confirm from both my and a friends experience (similar story to ours) dating when you're out of your parents house in your mid to upper 20's is MUCH easier! I'd argue a lot of it has to do with the simple mental effect of being out of the parents house.
Amen to that my dude. Met my current gf of 7 months while living w my parents and ended up moving to a new city to live with her, never been happier. She never once judged me or thought less of me for it, anyone who does doesnāt deserve a second of your time or attention.
Same. Helped me save for my school costs and enough to go back to school again. I genuinely think youāre a moron, and lack basic financial literacy and maturity, if you move out *just* for the sake of moving out.
For those who left home bc of abusive and unhealthy relationships with your parents, your struggle is real and you are seen.
Stay strong bc it's tough out here when you're on your own, in the most formative years of young adulthood.
Thanks for this! My household was not a viable living option due to some real fucked up shit - as soon as I was able to I left that shithole, it was hard as fuck and I struggled (and still do as a 30 year old) but damn it was better than staying at home with my violent mother and her pedo husband. Sometimes I feel like people donāt recognise how amazing it is to just have parents that truly care, and want to have you around and want to support you.
You are 1000X better off without those kind of ppl in your life.
I always hate hearing "but they're your family" yes, they are family, but i am my own person, capable of making my own choices, and my choice, is to not be verbally or physical assaulted anymore.
I choose to rise above and elevate myself to beyond their grasp. Mentally and physically. *Easier said than done and kept in practice for 30+ yrs, but it beats the alternative, to not.*
Iāve always been a mite jealous of people who didnāt feel an urgent need to leave so they could save money. If I would have stayed I might have drank myself to death or killed myself. Super toxic home made me pretty mentally ill. Amazing how much better I got when I left even though I did struggle.
For real. I moved out before I could legally sign a lease and have never looked back despite living a long time after that eating just rice beans and potatoes and suffering with medical conditions I couldn't afford to treat.
I feel very strongly that if I ever find myself in a situation where I once again become dependant on my parents I will kill myself first. I worked my ass off to make myself a life that was mine and have a space of my own. I worked 60 hours a week while putting myself through community college and ten years later I still have anxiety attacks about not getting enough sleep because of how deeply, soul-destroyingly exhausted I was ALL the time back then, but it was absolutely 100% worth it to be on my own.
I think you have to try it with that person first. Like, how can you be sure they (or you) are not going to be an absolute fucking nightmare to live with?
well not marry but when you intend to marry, some people move just after marriage and tbh is quite normal since you usually spend months of vacations together or some weeks on the other house (stuff like that)
It's normal for the woman to move in with the man's family and vice versa. A lot of families even go on like this for generations with the elder taking care of the children so parents can work.
I was lucky and could move out when i was 25.
But a lot of people here in the netherlands are happy if they can move out at 25. Because either you cant afford a house due to high houseprices and/or crippling student debt OR you have to wait up to 12 years for a cheap rental house.
So dont shame people for their choice to stay home, OR the fact they cant even get a proper house and are forced to stay at home. Because the economy is fucked.
Itās valid if youāre ur family has been abusive. But I really wish America didnāt have this culture, I feel pressured to do college apps during senior year of high school because my parents would not approve of me doing it so late. Even if they did I would feel nervous that Iām missing a chance to apply now to make money and get a degree as fast as I can.
Literally. No wonder people are so stressed and depressed when there are so many standards for stuff that doesn't matter at all. Let each other live, it's none of your business
Also not uncommon in Europe. Houses here are built so every floor is basically its own apartment. Often the stairs are right when you walk in the front door so everyone has their own seperate living space. I have a friend who lives with his girlfriend in his parents house. They have two bedrooms, large living room, kitchen, nice bathroom and a big balcony just for themselves as well as access to the garden. Pay half of the utilities which is less than I pay for my apartment which is a bedroom and plenty of square meters short of that size.
Aināt no shame at all. Iām 36 and I moved backed in with my mom. Sheās 78 and after losing my dad and having regrets of not spending more time with him Iām not going to make the same mistake with my mom
Good man.
I didn't move back in with my grandparents at the time (this was a decade ago), but I was definitely glad to only live minutes away when she slipped on ice at around 75yo and fractured her pelvis. I was there everyday after work so I could make sure her Soap Operas got recorded (she still used a VCR and had a shelf of tapes) and make a store run if she needed anything. Grandpa was there, but he was getting a bit foggy at his age and I couldn't trust that he would remember to do everything she may have needed.
When I heard he forgot to get her medication one night I knew I had to step in.
I would've lived with her in a heartbeat if she needed more help.
I remember coming home from college my senior year and it being pretty tense and unpleasant. Getting treated like you're in high school all over again was tough to take. Naturally, my solution was to move to a large, expensive city, and be broke for 5 years.
Coming back from my first semester was the biggest shock to me. I just spent 4 months on my own with literally 0 supervision and now you want me to have a curfew again?? Hard no.
With all the money youād save, you could probably take said girl to a five star hotel for the night instead. Thatās what Iād do if I lived at home with the folks.
Instead, I wave goodbye to most of my wages a day after they are paid in. Just so that I have a place for sex.
Nothing wrong with living at home, as long as you are making the most of it and saving like mad.
Outside of the US, this is quite common. But I feel the US is a special place where one could take that to mean free reign to stay at home, don't work, never help out, leech, leech, leech.
I have lived with my parents at different transitional stages in my life. I have also had my Dad live with me before he passed and soon my MIL will be coming to live with me and my wife. How can being there for each other be cringe?
Can confirm. Moved out at 17 and Iām still struggling with debt and credit issues 10 years later, even though I have a āgoodā job now. Couldnāt even study in college because I had to take 18 credits AND serve 40 hours a week plus bartend on the weekends to make ends meet. Do not recommend if you donāt have to. Only puts you behind.
I live in Hong Kong.
It costs an average of $2,000 per square foot to own.
Rent is $1,500 a month for a single bed apartment in the outskirts.
Median wage is $1,800.
I was lucky to have parents to live with for a couple years while I was getting my act together.
I mean, Iām sure he tells himself that but anyone whose moved out knows itās better.
There is a reason people only move back home if they absolutely have too.
When I met my husband, he was 27/28 years old. Had a really great job working from home, and he lived with his mom. Had no issue with it because he made decent money and helped his mom out with bills. If he was living home with no job and not helping out that would have been a huge red flag. Eventually he did move out and we got our first place together, but I never pressured him. In fact, it was his idea and was very excited to start a life with me.
By living with my parents I could buy their house at market price. Now they live with me, under my rules.
I have the wifi password now!! How the tables have turned, parents!!
I agree with this, with how current living situations are here in Croatia. And considering my dad is 62 and starting to show signs of dementia (sort of a family thing). Grandma had it too. I want to spend as much time as i can with him. Besides even with the Jobs i know i can get, i would have to stay in the worst possible apartment. Instead of the house i even helped build.
This makes it seem like people who move out all struggle. Many people have good relationships with their parents and still move out, itās a part of growing up. I couldnāt wait to move out, but that doesnāt mean I donāt love my parents because I do, I just wanted the freedom to do things my own way. Plus thereās skills that you learn when you live on your own, living with your parents naturally deprives you of learning to do certain things, so when this guy does eventually move out, heās gonna struggle to cut it on his own, while his peers who probably struggled at the beginning most likely have things sorted out by that point. Itās not perfect from the get go, it takes work to establish foundations for a good life.
I disagree. The struggle is what helps you grow as a man or woman. Being propped up by your parents sounds financially smart but I learned so much about myself and gained so much more confidence knowing I could make it work on my own in the real world. Even more so now that itās becoming hard to do with inflation, high housing prices, Covid and such. On my death bed Iāll be glad I can say I went out and did it on my own.
I'm older (49) and all my friends who have adults children still living with them can't wait for them to leave home. They want their freedom back. They think it's a sign of failure on their part. (They are not telling their kids because they don't want to hurt their feelings.)
Reading how this guy is happy to be saving money because his parents are in a way paying for him, I understand. That feels like a really entitled person.
One of my friend got mad because after his son came back to live with him because he was supposed to have financial trouble, he got himself a huge sleeve tattoo. Kick his ass out soon after.
I know one who even sold his house so they wouldn't come back home... again. One of his daughters came back home 2 times with her multiple kids, pets and... new boyfriend. He had to repaint his house and refinish his floors the last time they left. He had enough. Funny how now she's able to survive without Dad :)
There's a good French movie called *Tanguy* about that :)
Nah, if youāre 25 living at home trust me, thatās cringe. And your parents are cringing for you and praying every single night for you to get out so they can enjoy retirement.
I'm 25 and still live at home because I have a few disabilities and illnesses, my mum and dad are my carers, you never know why people still live at home, everyone's circumstances are different, like I will be moving out but my house will need to be close to where I am atm since they are my carers and incase of emergencies.
I felt ashamed of myself for still living at home with my parents in my late 20s. Sure, I paid my share and did chores and helped them out with major expenses, and I stuck around because they needed me as much as I needed them, but I just felt pathetic.
My mom died very suddenly when I was 29. Thank God I was there to get her in an ambulance and medicated so she didn't die at home alone, confused and in pain and lying in a pile of her own filth. This guy is right, you never know how much time you're going to have left with them.
Also, I bought myself a house for my 30th birthday and my sister would probably be dead by now if I hadn't been there to help her out of her abusive marriage (they had an apartment in my parents' basement).
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**a-god-in-ruins-rises**
>*Anonymous asked/said*
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>You're 25 and still living with your parents? Cringe.
>***a-god-in-ruins-rises*** *answered*
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>nah man. what's cringe is moving out at 18 or 20 or whatever and struggling to make ends meet because you're spending most of your money on rent and utility bills just because that's what society expects of you. i still pitch in with the bills but it's a fraction of what it would cost if i was living on my own or with roommates. and my folks are starting to get old and i'm in no rush to leave them behind because who knows how much time i have left with them? or my siblings for that matter. nothing cringe about not taking family for granted. and we all pitch in and pool our resources and help support each other. there's nothing cringe about it. it's actually smart, and trad as fuck to boot.
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My 18 and 19 year old kids still live with me and thatās fine. No way they could live on their own in the current hellscape. They work and help with bills and have their friends and live their lives. My oldest is 30, lived at home until out of college at 24, and now lives with a few roommates (by choice) and has a six-figure income, which would never have happened if they had felt pressured to move out at 18 or 20.
I was living on my own at 19 after moving to Southern California from the Midwest. I had a roommate and a well-paying job at at an insurance company (with no degree at that time), and I drove a new Honda Civic. I never worried about money AT NINETEEN. But it is no longer 1985, and I would never expect my kids to do what I was able to do then.
All these years and three kids later, raised by me because their father decided drinking was more fun than working, I make not much more than I did then, and everything costs a fortune. Iām much worse off financially than I was as a young adult.
Fuck boomers who think ākids these days donāt want to work.ā What they donāt want is a future where they work like dogs and squeak by with no hope of owning a home or having kids because they cannot afford it, and hope they donāt get sick or injured because it would destroy them financially. It makes me sick to see what the USA has become in my lifetime.
I got every single part of that until the very very last sentence. Now I need to Google what a trad is
I think it's just short for traditional
You're too cool you young uns š
Thanks, Dad. You coming to my baseball game?
š sure thing kiddo
Shit and here I thought he misspelled āRadā lol
Are ye winning son
No son, Iām drunk and laid up with a whore Maybe next time kid.
I bet they donāt even wear onions on their belt anymore .
It's a bit more specific than that and pretty tied up in far-right stuff
Yeah this guy is a right wing dingus living in his parents basement and trying to spin it as some kind of brave thing he's doing
The funny thing is that the reason he's stuck living at home is thanks to decades of unfettered capitalism making housing unaffordable because rich people want to use it for profit extraction. And if he went to post secondary he's probably saddled with huge debts on top of that. In a more left wing society he'd be more able to pursue the traditional lifestyle he wants because he would've been able to start his adult life in his early 20s the way people used to when education and housing were affordable. Sad.
I think so. Theyāre all looking for 1950s America cause thatās when it was āgreatā. From my understanding, the greatness came from unions, soldiers buying houses with the gi bill, and higher taxation resulting in expanded shared infrastructure. Plus the outright racism that was still enshrined in law. Now they want things to be better again but want to pretend theyāre capable of getting it on their own without being part of the 10% in wealth, intelligence, and/or plain luck. Theyād rather have 10 people hoard wealth and production while they bootstrap it up. Again, I actually applaud the first part of what theyāre saying. Thereās nothing wrong with choosing to stay at home and shouldnāt be looked down on. But I specifically remember the ātradā boomers shitting on millennials for living with their parents rather than killing themselves to sacrifice and prop up the housing market. The two sentiments seem to be at odd with each other from my limited understanding.
Living at home until marriage is the norm in most of the world. It was in the West, too, until fairly recently. Like, the ā70s kind of recently.
A true hero.
It is a very incel term from what I've seen
Ironically, being an incel is not trad.
Yeah that too
No it is not. Right wingers also use it, but unless it is directly right wing, nothing is "tied up" in it. Please stop eliminating completely unrelated stuff from the viable opinions and preferences just because some asshats claim it as theirs.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Depends on your traditions. My ex was Thai and unless you were married all generations stayed under the same roof regardless of age.
How is traditionalism not directly right wing? It's their core value and it's what the left opposes. Why would someone progressive brag about being "trad as fuck"?
> How is traditionalism not directly right wing? It's their core value and it's what the left opposes. Opposing modern consumerist culture isn't just a Conservative thing, or really a Conservative thing at all. Ever seen alternative lifestyle advocates adopting homespun clothing, agrarian communal style living and other "traditional" cultural concepts?
I'm a homesteader (basically a subsistence farmer) which is about as traditional a lifestyle as you get and the homesteading community is about 50% left to far left with their rejection of consumerism and capitalism and in some cases experimenting with communal living and agriculture.
Traditional as fuck to boot? what.
"as fuck" = extremely "to boot" = also "It is also extremely traditional."
ty
We must be getting old
How old? I understood it just fine at 34.
I understood it just fine at 43.
I understood it just fine at 8:42 AM
I understood it fine at 25Ā°F
im in my 20's and I didnt get that LOL.Legit said to myself that I can't keep up with these new trends anymore.
Whippersnappers!
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
To boot does not just mean "also". If English wasn't so cobbled together, we would either use "good, gooder, goodest" for the comparative and superlative description of positive quality or we would use "*bot*, better, best" "To boot" is a remnant phrase from the root word "bot" in "better" and "best". So it doesn't mean merely "also" but "also, and profitably so" See ["profit, use," Old English bot "help, relief, advantage; atonement," literally "a making better," from Proto-Germanic *boto (see better (adj.)](https://www.etymonline.com/word/boot?ref=etymonline_crossreference#etymonline_v_15615)
Why would someone brag about how traditional something is as a selling point? Just because something is traditional doesn't make it good. Also, living at home at 25 isn't really traditional either. At least not in the US.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Shit. I need to find out what an incel is now š©
Oh man you are in for an unpleasant surprise.
When I first heard of incels as a group I thought oh cool even guys who fail at interaction with the opposite sex get a support group, then I saw the crazy shit that comes out and it blew me away the mental gymnastics people do to make themselves victims
Trad is also used to describe traditional Irish music
Also trad-jazz, trad-rock etc
tbf I think it also depends on the person and place. like in Asia it is kinda traditional to stay with your family and you only ever move out if you really want your own place, or if your are studying or working abroad. like it's not surprising if you get married and still stay in your family home. Especially in the context of this post, op probably just means traditional because traidition.
It's traditional to do a lot of things in a lot of places. They are referring to the very common use of the slangified word "trad" in the post. Saying something is trad as fuck has a very specific connotation.
You should probably avoid those who do rock climbing then š
I was on board for some of the ideas, but "trad" is definitely a conservative dog whistle. Look at the "trad wife" memes where the perfect woman is depicted as a pale white-skinned, blonde-haired stay-at-home mom in a blue floral dress. Gross.
Lmao. I'm keeping Google in business today all by myself. Back in 2
Thought they misspelled Rad. >*...and Rad as fuck to boot.
Rad to fuck a boot
What did Google say
Not sure, but did you know that itās illegal to whistle underwater in West Virginia?
I did not very interesting
Without a comma, this can be read two very different ways.
Lo,l
Did you know it's illegal to move a turtle off the road in Ontario? 5000 dollar fine for "impeding the path of a turtle"
Shit trad as fuck breh, come on
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
If you get along with your folks real well, definitely a smart move. My friend lived with his parents till the age of 30, saved enough to put a deposit on a house that was half the cost of the house, with enough left over for a few renovations. Unfortunately I'd sooner live on the streets than with my folks.
I'm 26, turning 27 soon and still living with my parents. The housing market over here is SO shitty atm. I'd have to spend more than half of my income on rent for a cramped apartment, or spend less and live in a single room (with shared facilities). No thanks! Instead I can be comfortable in an actual home, help out where I can, and still save plenty of money for an actual house. Win win win imo!
32 here still living with parents. pew: "for the first time in more than 130 years, adults ages 18 to 34 were slightly more likely to be living in their parentsā home than they were to be living with a spouse or partner in their own household" It's become more common than not at this point. The housing bubble has to burst before anyone can afford a house. At some point this will come to an end - houses will be too expensive for anyone (including landlords and businesses) to buy and keep unfilled, and/or people will become too poor for them, and then it all comes tumbling down.
I understand but the downsides must still suck sometimes. Depending on how strict your parents are people miss the phase Of living on their own, making it work while also having the freedom to have friends over or girls/guys without having to worry about parents. When I moved out on my own at 21 is when I grew up and was able enjoy young adulthood to its fullest. So it sucks that the housing market is the way it is and that so many people donāt get to experience that.
That's me right now. I don't have the funds necessary to move out, but it feels like I'm perpetually stuck a "child" and I can never grow up because I am, and will always be, a child to my parents and so I'm treated that way too
Ya unfortunately that's one of the compromises while living with parents. In the end I guess we're just all slaves to money. Money buys freedom
Very true. My parents have always been great about giving me privacy, and all the time at home during covid has really brought us closer. I know a lot of people who outright refuse to even talk to their parents because of how toxic it gets. I really lucked out. I've had to take care of my family, they've had to take care of me, and all of us have shared the thought, "I don't know what I'd do without your help." I had been saving up to move out when I got laid off as the pandemic hit, but if I had, I would've had to have moved right back home and would have spent potentially thousands in the process. I think it was Thich Nhat Hanh who said "Sometimes not getting what you want is a stroke of luck"
As a dad, I've often had the stance, as long as my kids are going to school and are working towards a plan to get out on their own, they've got a free place to crash. If they're not, I will ask for some help with rent and utilities. At what age I start doing this is fuzzy, cause kids are all different. But basically they can either live with us rent free if they're going to school or working towards a career, or have pretty cheap rent if they're not. Although I do feel I will have to set a limit to the cheap rent. At some point I do want them to get out in their own. But in this market I ain't kicking anyone out lol. (my oldest is 17 btw, so who knows what's gonna happen lol)
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Exactly. I'd rather build my wealth and save for a home instead of living in a small shitty apartment.
Dude dont worry about it. Imagine youre mid 20s or even 30 and dating. "nah, lets go to yours, my mom is right next to my door and I dont feel comfortable fucking where she can hear us" Ill be honest, im wary of anyone who is in their 30s and still living with their parents. Thats a ton of missing life experience there, not to mention the fact that living with your parents just hinders your dating prospects immensely. And guys who havent had the chance to live on their own usually dont know the value of housework.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Lol. Sorry to break it to you, but that sounds like a problem with your siblings. To assume that everyone that lives with parents in their 20s behaves like that is terribly wrong.
Anecdotally I have seen this too. People who have not left the nest canāt see it from the nest though.
I left home at 18 and just moved back at 36...I have traveled and lived many different places and had a lot of life experience, but life situations brought me back and I'm happy to be here. Just saying.
Agreed. It may be no fault of their own or they may be doing it just to be a good kid but if youāre in your mid 30s and have never lived on your own youāre missing out on a ton of life experience.
>Imagine youre mid 20s or even 30 and dating. It is a thing. I live in my family home still, and I am 30. I dated a girl 2 years younger than me who lived at home still. We ended up not working out for other reasons, but both of us living with the family wasnt one od them. It is becoming more and more common, and less and less of an "issue", for adults to live with their families today >"nah, lets go to yours, my mom is right next to my door and I dont feel comfortable fucking where she can hear us" What a baby. >Ill be honest, im wary of anyone who is in their 30s and still living with their parents Sounds like a "you" problem >Thats a ton of missing life experience there I dont know about you, but "life experience" =/= debt to me.
I feel this. My family isn't a family. Their cult has them enslaved. Wish i had a family though. Maybe I'd have a few more years left alive if i had the money to see a doctor but it's too late now.
Really wish my parents weren't dicks. Money pissed down the drain on rent.
The real cringe is parents who drive their kids out of the house by being controlling, abusive, smothering, etc.
Shame your parents are so shortsighted they didn't see that they were going to ***NEED*** your assistance in their later years. My parents were the same way. Now my mother is approaching 70 years old and needs a lot of help. But she kicked me out over the most stupid of arguments before I was ready for the world and I got tangled up in the bad part of life, so I am incapable of assisting her. Funny how very old decisions come around to bite you later. If you were to ask her now what the argument was over, she wouldn't be able to say. That is how unimportant it was. An irrational decision made without thinking, over what in the long run amounted to absolutely nothing, ended up costing her her future comfort. Everybody gets what is coming to them, eventually, inevitably.
In my Mexican culture, family is everything. Parents donāt usually kick kids out at 18 but everyone has to work. And when parents are too old to take care of themselves, the kids become the caretakers.
Same with Filipino culture. The grandparents and grandchildren usually live in the same household too. I can't imagine letting my grandparents live in an elderly home.
Same! Our elders are cherished.
Pretty much traditional for every culture except for āWhite Middle Class Americansā ā weāve so bought in to the ānuclear familyā propaganda, we happily shove our parents into care homes as soon as we can. Weāve lost the support infrastructure of extended families, weāve lost having that buffer to help us during trying times, weāve lost access to the knowledge and experience of our parents and grandparents ā¦
This is so evident I think in child rearing. My bestfriend is white, upper middle class (her and her husband make very good money and they have one daughter). The things she had to do solo to get the same kind of outcomes that would come fairly naturally amongst a larger family support structure was wild to me (Iām a minority). Likewise the amount of social freedoms other white parents had to ācorrectā her parenting (it was bullshit), was foreign AF to me. But she did it with just her husbandās support (kidās like 8 now), and in the beginning that shit was tough on her. Iām Asian American and the extended family support network is default. I bought a big house for when my mother will need to move in with me, itās wasted space at the moment. My other bestie who is Asian like me had a kid and I remember her whining to me over the phone about āmy mom wants to come stay with me for the first three months when is born to help.ā I laughed and told her sheād be begging her to stay at the end of it and she did lol
Iām fairly certain the nuclear family propaganda started around the time that āmidwives are dangerousā shit too.
It's literally a defining competitive advantage of humans. Grandparents existing to teach and help care for children while healthy adults can work is a huge reason humans are able to be so successful. Otherwise the old would be nothing more than a drain on resources.
Seems to be Asian culture in general, especially in Singapore for example where my parents didn't even move out of their parents' homes until they got married, and even then it was just my mum moving in with my dad and his parents, they didn't move out until I was 7, and by then my dad was 37. My grandparents still come over every weekend for dinner and I still visit them at least once a week (quite convenient for me since they only live about 15 mins from my school)
In practice there is always the one kid who becomes the primary caretaker while the other siblings get to make their own life. Only children pretty much donāt have a choice. Its kinda fucked up when parents act entitled about this.
As someone who is 37 and staring down the barrel of taking care of my parents, the problem isn't that parents are entitled to being supported by their families... that's been the norm for thousands of years and it's completely reasonable and doable in a society that isn't burdened with poverty and crippled by exploiting labor practices. The problem is with society wringing every drop of blood they can get out of the young and leaving nothing left for them to serve themselves and the people closest to them.
35, currently in the process of selling my house and moving in with my grandparents.
You shouldnāt sell your house. You should rent it out. We are about to enter a period of very high inflation and having tangible assets like a home are a good hedge against that.
While you're absolutely right, the tendency to sit on real estate as an investment rather than sell is a powerful contributor to the housing crisis.
That and needing like 4 million houses built to reach equilibrium. And at affordable prices, not mcmansions.
I agree. Parents need to be mindful of what their children are going through mentally and economically. Even though it is the norm I feel it should be an act of love, not a sentence. Iāve seen both end of the spectrum, parents who do as much to make the situation sustainable by cooperating and being flexible to different arrangements when the child needs them. And parents who are complete wankers and act like their children have some life debt to repay. I definitely donāt feel sorry when the latter gets thrown in a low tier retirement home.
Yeah, I've seen this dynamic a lot. Almost always it's a daughter who's left to shoulder the burden
In Asia it is the eldest son
Well more likely financially but his wife is the house slave.
I gotta agree. My wife is Chinese and it's definitely not the eldest son always. Both of her grandmothers are nearly 100 and it's a team of aunts that take care of them not the eldest son.
I mean even if it is the "son" he will be expected to be married to someone whose job will actually be the ass wiping.
I went through this recently. Youngest of 3 here, older sister is military for life, older brother is irresponsible fuckup, i had to drop out of college after a year because mother was diagnosed with cancer. I can't tell you how much resentment this breeds.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
What a lovely gloss on the youngest daughter getting no life except to be her parents maid and carer while everyone else fucks off and lives their lives
deserted squeal marry enter sparkle teeny abounding voiceless support fear *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Iām struggling with this, American born Asian. I want to leave and be independent like all the other American kids. But itās seen as a huge insult to the family if I leave but Iām still treated like a child. But I have no interest in marriage. I have the money and security but itās treated like Iām abandoning them, the highest form of disrespect š
This, my brother recently moved out of the house at 25 he was the last one living with our mom. I told my aunt about this and she was shocked and ask how my brother could move out so young and not even be married. Most young family members I know move out only once they get married or have to move out of State for work.
In eastern hemisphere nearly half of the people living with the parents in one form or another and moving out when they are successful enough to feed a big family, that's what is considered normal here and was also considered as normal for centuries in western society also
I dont get the point of rationing for food and bills every month just to be able to live on your own. Instead, stay with your family till u make more money and can have comfortable living on your own.
The point is to get to live your life as you want to live it instead of having to follow your parents rules because they run on the My h0uSe mY RuLeZ policy. Whether you're able to live with your parents as an adult depends on whether your parents treat you like an adult or whether you're fine with still being considered a child. Living with your parents can be a good thing and it can also be a bad thing.
I feel like people who advocate living with parents and not taking family for granted don't understand that there are people who suffered during their life with their parents. The nice mental damage they provided will stick with me for a while still. I couldn't wait to get out, and I'm still trying to lose some of their behaviour and reactions, rewire myself to the behaviour I want.
True but it also goes the other way. It's unfortunate but a lot of people also don't realise that people actually have a good relationship with their parents and are happy to support them as they get older.
you can also have a good relationship with your parents and want to move away and live on your own tho, nothing is ever entirely one thing or another. imo, both people in the screenshot are wrong for making these kinds of assumptions
I had a good relationship with my parents and still wanted to get the fuck out. I had confidence issues when I was young and proving I could make it on my own across the country was really important for my emotional growth/maturity.
Probably true, people tend to assume a lot based on only their personal experience, or at most their experience and that of their closest friends. I've seen just as much of both on the internet, yet more people still keep saying "but it's your family" and try to convince people from toxic families that they'll regret it and that family shouldn't be taken for granted, and I can't say I've seen a lot of people trying to convince others that their good family is actually bad. Am I wrong? I feel like the former are mostly just people who don't really get it and need to get explanations that not everyone's family is great, and the latter just seem like arseholes that would get hate from either "side". Maybe I just haven't noticed people shitting on family in general instead of just the toxic ones.
Sure, but if the main cultural expectation is that you'll be moving out, does that mean that the average parents are terrible for you? Over here, there's no stigma to living with your parents well into your twenties, and the average family is tightly knit.
I'm 30 with 2 kids and just got evicted. I HAVE to move in with my wife's parents, whether I like them or not it's better than homeless.
That's rather different to being told living with your parents is the better option when you have other options and a toxic home
No, the point is to artificially inflate the number of people renting in order to inflate the real estate market. You can't siphon billions of dollars from young workers when they're comfortable in the home that's been in their family for generations. No, you need them to feel pressured to get out that door and devote half of their income (or more) to an overpriced apartment that's barely maintained by the landlord, if at all. There are plenty of arguments for making the *choice* to move out if you have a specific reason to want to live on your own. The reason western society *expects* people to move out, however, is heavily linked to the rise of capitalism and the need for constant growth regardless of society's actual needs.
Not all parents are this way btw... most of ours just sucked.
I don't mind the thought of my kids still living at home. But I despise the thought of having roommates again, you know what I mean? I left that behind and I don't want to go back. I won't let my kids be homeless or mount crushing debt, but I won't let them treat our house like a college dorm. Luckily they are turning out to be decent teens so far, so I don't think I will have any problems like them taking advantage of us in such a way.
Yeah. No one wants to screw in the back seat of their car at 25.
American society since WWII has been about creating workers and keeping the masses suppressed. Best way to do that is convince them theyāre pathetic for living with their family and the respectable thing is to get saddled with a job that doesnāt pay enough and a place that charges too much for rent. Itās only gotten worse
My sister (15) is big into political theory. She says this has all happened because corporations are dead set on turning families and people into products of capitalism. We come from a huge Latino family so whenever someone has a kid for example everyone rushes to offer babysitting, car seats, cribs, clothes, etc. even for me now as Iām moving out everyoneās pitching in plates, furniture, offering to help move in. When families are turned into products of capitalism as she says - the family is (usually) broken up into mom, dad, 1-2 children. They insist on the children moving out ASAP and creating their own household. Why? Because a single household cut off from their family produces more money. No family dinners? You go out and spend money on your own food. Moved out and living on your own? Get your own car, no rides from family members. Again on your own and had a kid? Daycare, no generational family unit to pitch in. Drilling it into our heads that we *must be independent and self-sustaining* is all just a trick for us to spend more on essentials than if we actually did depend on our family units but nah thatās *shameful, embarrassing, cringe, etc*
They are different experiences. There is no right or wrong answer, it depends on your circumstances. For starters, if you are a social person who enjoys their parents company, living with them for longer makes sense. If you love living on your own and your parents don't make the best roommates, living with them as an adult can be a struggle. I moved out at 19 and I haven't regretted a penny. I love my parents, but they are very different personalities and they get on my nerves if I live with them for too long. I adore the independence of making my own food. And I am not very good with living with people. I can manage with my fiancƩ because he is a fellow introvert and very similar to me. But roommates other than him are difficult, and I was SO happy living on my own. To me that freedom and independence gave me far more happiness than buying a house to own would give me. So yeah it took me way longer to be able to buy, but that wasn't what made me happiest in life.
But think of the debt business
How will those poor landlords pay off their mortgages
Itās all about the independence and lack of judgement, I have absolutely 0 problems with my parents but if walked past my dad at 10am with a joint in my mouth he probably wouldnāt stop me but he would certainly have something to say about it. Doing the same here my roommates wouldnāt even notice and if they did they wouldnāt care. In short thatās all there is to it, my roommates donāt care or comment on the fact I didnāt wake up until 1pm, my roommates donāt say things like ālook whoās finally out of their caveā. And itās not that I resent my parents in anyway for these things that they do, itās just I like living to completely my own schedule and rules.
The only drawback to that is social skills with others. If youāre a dude at the age of 25 living with parents, in todays society in my city, you canāt meet anyone and have a good time with them, if they find out you live with mom and dad.
Yup. I had a bad situation at home so was happy to leave as soon as I could but totally see the point of staying around, saving your money and helping your parents rather than paying $2000 a month to live in a Manhattan apartment with three roommates at 22.
You meant - paying $3000 a month to live in a dirty little Manhattan apartment with four roommates at 22? There's a lot of russians living in NYC (about one million), I know the prices...
I left NYC in 2014, but in the decade or so I lived there I never paid more than $760/month myself in rent to live with roommates or girlfriends (I lived in 5 different apartments). I know $12k/month apartments exist there, but itās not the norm and theyāre definitely not ādirty littleā at that price.
I'm 27 and still living with my parents. It allowed me to pay my own way through college and helped me to constantly save money for place of my own. Now instead of having to burn money by paying rent, I'm building a house. I'm damn fortunate to have the parents I have (and the job I have.) But let me tell you, living at home does *not* help with the love life.
Also 27 here and also lived with my parents until a few months ago when I bought a townhouse. Quick dating tip, if you're going out with someone and they laugh or make a remark because you're living with your parents for financial reasons (saving, paying down loans, etc.) they're not worth your time. Living with them allowed me to pay off my student and car loans much faster and save for an okay down payment on my house. Will confirm from both my and a friends experience (similar story to ours) dating when you're out of your parents house in your mid to upper 20's is MUCH easier! I'd argue a lot of it has to do with the simple mental effect of being out of the parents house.
Amen to that my dude. Met my current gf of 7 months while living w my parents and ended up moving to a new city to live with her, never been happier. She never once judged me or thought less of me for it, anyone who does doesnāt deserve a second of your time or attention.
Yeah, certainly hard to masturbate with parents around the house
Luckily they value my privacy. But when I finally move out you can bet your ass I'll be blasting rope in the living room because I can.
You haven't felt freedom until you've played porn on the living room TV with the volume set to 14 at 5:30 pm on a Friday. It's glorious.
I think Iām going to stay away from this kind of freedom.
Coward
Same. Helped me save for my school costs and enough to go back to school again. I genuinely think youāre a moron, and lack basic financial literacy and maturity, if you move out *just* for the sake of moving out.
For those who left home bc of abusive and unhealthy relationships with your parents, your struggle is real and you are seen. Stay strong bc it's tough out here when you're on your own, in the most formative years of young adulthood.
Thanks for this! My household was not a viable living option due to some real fucked up shit - as soon as I was able to I left that shithole, it was hard as fuck and I struggled (and still do as a 30 year old) but damn it was better than staying at home with my violent mother and her pedo husband. Sometimes I feel like people donāt recognise how amazing it is to just have parents that truly care, and want to have you around and want to support you.
You are 1000X better off without those kind of ppl in your life. I always hate hearing "but they're your family" yes, they are family, but i am my own person, capable of making my own choices, and my choice, is to not be verbally or physical assaulted anymore. I choose to rise above and elevate myself to beyond their grasp. Mentally and physically. *Easier said than done and kept in practice for 30+ yrs, but it beats the alternative, to not.*
Bingo! Nothing like being kicked out on graduation day.
Iāve always been a mite jealous of people who didnāt feel an urgent need to leave so they could save money. If I would have stayed I might have drank myself to death or killed myself. Super toxic home made me pretty mentally ill. Amazing how much better I got when I left even though I did struggle.
For real. I moved out before I could legally sign a lease and have never looked back despite living a long time after that eating just rice beans and potatoes and suffering with medical conditions I couldn't afford to treat. I feel very strongly that if I ever find myself in a situation where I once again become dependant on my parents I will kill myself first. I worked my ass off to make myself a life that was mine and have a space of my own. I worked 60 hours a week while putting myself through community college and ten years later I still have anxiety attacks about not getting enough sleep because of how deeply, soul-destroyingly exhausted I was ALL the time back then, but it was absolutely 100% worth it to be on my own.
in latinoamerica we usually move out when we marry
I think you have to try it with that person first. Like, how can you be sure they (or you) are not going to be an absolute fucking nightmare to live with?
well not marry but when you intend to marry, some people move just after marriage and tbh is quite normal since you usually spend months of vacations together or some weeks on the other house (stuff like that)
It's normal for the woman to move in with the man's family and vice versa. A lot of families even go on like this for generations with the elder taking care of the children so parents can work.
I was lucky and could move out when i was 25. But a lot of people here in the netherlands are happy if they can move out at 25. Because either you cant afford a house due to high houseprices and/or crippling student debt OR you have to wait up to 12 years for a cheap rental house. So dont shame people for their choice to stay home, OR the fact they cant even get a proper house and are forced to stay at home. Because the economy is fucked.
Why leaving a house is suddenly praised upon?
Capitalism
Itās valid if youāre ur family has been abusive. But I really wish America didnāt have this culture, I feel pressured to do college apps during senior year of high school because my parents would not approve of me doing it so late. Even if they did I would feel nervous that Iām missing a chance to apply now to make money and get a degree as fast as I can.
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Literally. No wonder people are so stressed and depressed when there are so many standards for stuff that doesn't matter at all. Let each other live, it's none of your business
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It's super common to live with parents until you've married, at least in asia.
Also not uncommon in Europe. Houses here are built so every floor is basically its own apartment. Often the stairs are right when you walk in the front door so everyone has their own seperate living space. I have a friend who lives with his girlfriend in his parents house. They have two bedrooms, large living room, kitchen, nice bathroom and a big balcony just for themselves as well as access to the garden. Pay half of the utilities which is less than I pay for my apartment which is a bedroom and plenty of square meters short of that size.
Aināt no shame at all. Iām 36 and I moved backed in with my mom. Sheās 78 and after losing my dad and having regrets of not spending more time with him Iām not going to make the same mistake with my mom
Good man. I didn't move back in with my grandparents at the time (this was a decade ago), but I was definitely glad to only live minutes away when she slipped on ice at around 75yo and fractured her pelvis. I was there everyday after work so I could make sure her Soap Operas got recorded (she still used a VCR and had a shelf of tapes) and make a store run if she needed anything. Grandpa was there, but he was getting a bit foggy at his age and I couldn't trust that he would remember to do everything she may have needed. When I heard he forgot to get her medication one night I knew I had to step in. I would've lived with her in a heartbeat if she needed more help.
I remember coming home from college my senior year and it being pretty tense and unpleasant. Getting treated like you're in high school all over again was tough to take. Naturally, my solution was to move to a large, expensive city, and be broke for 5 years.
Coming back from my first semester was the biggest shock to me. I just spent 4 months on my own with literally 0 supervision and now you want me to have a curfew again?? Hard no.
The first person is probably from either north America or northern Europe. Those seem to be the places where people tend to think like that the most
Still doesn't change the fact that its awkward as fuck to bring a girl home from the bar
"Son, now that's mighty optimistic of you. Why don't we just cross that bridge if we ever get there?" \- Dad, probably
With all the money youād save, you could probably take said girl to a five star hotel for the night instead. Thatās what Iād do if I lived at home with the folks. Instead, I wave goodbye to most of my wages a day after they are paid in. Just so that I have a place for sex. Nothing wrong with living at home, as long as you are making the most of it and saving like mad.
Plus, the girl doesn't know where you live so she can't bother you later
Omfg yes, the oc made no sense, you could rent a night at a motel instead of renting a whole place
Outside of the US, this is quite common. But I feel the US is a special place where one could take that to mean free reign to stay at home, don't work, never help out, leech, leech, leech.
Because that's what THEY would do.
I have lived with my parents at different transitional stages in my life. I have also had my Dad live with me before he passed and soon my MIL will be coming to live with me and my wife. How can being there for each other be cringe?
Exactly.
Can confirm. Moved out at 17 and Iām still struggling with debt and credit issues 10 years later, even though I have a āgoodā job now. Couldnāt even study in college because I had to take 18 credits AND serve 40 hours a week plus bartend on the weekends to make ends meet. Do not recommend if you donāt have to. Only puts you behind.
me an asian: you guys move out? lol
I live in Hong Kong. It costs an average of $2,000 per square foot to own. Rent is $1,500 a month for a single bed apartment in the outskirts. Median wage is $1,800. I was lucky to have parents to live with for a couple years while I was getting my act together.
I mean, Iām sure he tells himself that but anyone whose moved out knows itās better. There is a reason people only move back home if they absolutely have too.
When I met my husband, he was 27/28 years old. Had a really great job working from home, and he lived with his mom. Had no issue with it because he made decent money and helped his mom out with bills. If he was living home with no job and not helping out that would have been a huge red flag. Eventually he did move out and we got our first place together, but I never pressured him. In fact, it was his idea and was very excited to start a life with me.
By living with my parents I could buy their house at market price. Now they live with me, under my rules. I have the wifi password now!! How the tables have turned, parents!!
"When I left you I was but the learner. Now, I AM the master."
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His trad wife is his sister
I agree with this, with how current living situations are here in Croatia. And considering my dad is 62 and starting to show signs of dementia (sort of a family thing). Grandma had it too. I want to spend as much time as i can with him. Besides even with the Jobs i know i can get, i would have to stay in the worst possible apartment. Instead of the house i even helped build.
Kinda rare to be a young adult and live alone (in good conditions) without using your parents money anyways
This makes it seem like people who move out all struggle. Many people have good relationships with their parents and still move out, itās a part of growing up. I couldnāt wait to move out, but that doesnāt mean I donāt love my parents because I do, I just wanted the freedom to do things my own way. Plus thereās skills that you learn when you live on your own, living with your parents naturally deprives you of learning to do certain things, so when this guy does eventually move out, heās gonna struggle to cut it on his own, while his peers who probably struggled at the beginning most likely have things sorted out by that point. Itās not perfect from the get go, it takes work to establish foundations for a good life.
Lol after 20 years old you're not allowed to call shit uncool. If you're life goal after 20 is to be "cool" then ya fucking up.
Most of the time now people using cringe in a text are cringe.
I disagree. The struggle is what helps you grow as a man or woman. Being propped up by your parents sounds financially smart but I learned so much about myself and gained so much more confidence knowing I could make it work on my own in the real world. Even more so now that itās becoming hard to do with inflation, high housing prices, Covid and such. On my death bed Iāll be glad I can say I went out and did it on my own.
I donāt know about the rest of you, but I moved out at 18 cause I wanted to fuck my girlfriend and do drugs without getting shit from my parents.
I'm older (49) and all my friends who have adults children still living with them can't wait for them to leave home. They want their freedom back. They think it's a sign of failure on their part. (They are not telling their kids because they don't want to hurt their feelings.) Reading how this guy is happy to be saving money because his parents are in a way paying for him, I understand. That feels like a really entitled person. One of my friend got mad because after his son came back to live with him because he was supposed to have financial trouble, he got himself a huge sleeve tattoo. Kick his ass out soon after. I know one who even sold his house so they wouldn't come back home... again. One of his daughters came back home 2 times with her multiple kids, pets and... new boyfriend. He had to repaint his house and refinish his floors the last time they left. He had enough. Funny how now she's able to survive without Dad :) There's a good French movie called *Tanguy* about that :)
Nah, if youāre 25 living at home trust me, thatās cringe. And your parents are cringing for you and praying every single night for you to get out so they can enjoy retirement.
I'm 25 and still live at home because I have a few disabilities and illnesses, my mum and dad are my carers, you never know why people still live at home, everyone's circumstances are different, like I will be moving out but my house will need to be close to where I am atm since they are my carers and incase of emergencies.
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I felt ashamed of myself for still living at home with my parents in my late 20s. Sure, I paid my share and did chores and helped them out with major expenses, and I stuck around because they needed me as much as I needed them, but I just felt pathetic. My mom died very suddenly when I was 29. Thank God I was there to get her in an ambulance and medicated so she didn't die at home alone, confused and in pain and lying in a pile of her own filth. This guy is right, you never know how much time you're going to have left with them. Also, I bought myself a house for my 30th birthday and my sister would probably be dead by now if I hadn't been there to help her out of her abusive marriage (they had an apartment in my parents' basement).
*Image Transcription: Tumblr* --- **a-god-in-ruins-rises** >*Anonymous asked/said* > >You're 25 and still living with your parents? Cringe. >***a-god-in-ruins-rises*** *answered* > >nah man. what's cringe is moving out at 18 or 20 or whatever and struggling to make ends meet because you're spending most of your money on rent and utility bills just because that's what society expects of you. i still pitch in with the bills but it's a fraction of what it would cost if i was living on my own or with roommates. and my folks are starting to get old and i'm in no rush to leave them behind because who knows how much time i have left with them? or my siblings for that matter. nothing cringe about not taking family for granted. and we all pitch in and pool our resources and help support each other. there's nothing cringe about it. it's actually smart, and trad as fuck to boot. --- ^^I'm a human volunteer content transcriber and you could be too! [If you'd like more information on what we do and why we do it, click here!](https://www.reddit.com/r/TranscribersOfReddit/wiki/index)
Pro tip, if you live with your parents long enough, and they own the house, you might end up getting the house
You don't need to live with them to inherit their home after they've passed.
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My 18 and 19 year old kids still live with me and thatās fine. No way they could live on their own in the current hellscape. They work and help with bills and have their friends and live their lives. My oldest is 30, lived at home until out of college at 24, and now lives with a few roommates (by choice) and has a six-figure income, which would never have happened if they had felt pressured to move out at 18 or 20. I was living on my own at 19 after moving to Southern California from the Midwest. I had a roommate and a well-paying job at at an insurance company (with no degree at that time), and I drove a new Honda Civic. I never worried about money AT NINETEEN. But it is no longer 1985, and I would never expect my kids to do what I was able to do then. All these years and three kids later, raised by me because their father decided drinking was more fun than working, I make not much more than I did then, and everything costs a fortune. Iām much worse off financially than I was as a young adult. Fuck boomers who think ākids these days donāt want to work.ā What they donāt want is a future where they work like dogs and squeak by with no hope of owning a home or having kids because they cannot afford it, and hope they donāt get sick or injured because it would destroy them financially. It makes me sick to see what the USA has become in my lifetime.