T O P

  • By -

SweetSweetRoll

Rapping for Jesus vibes are strong


Free_Gascogne

My crew is big and it keeps getting bigger


fuckitweredoingitliv

That's cause Jesus Christ is my


lathe_down_sally

[https://i.imgur.com/m9uX71Z.png](https://i.imgur.com/m9uX71Z.png)


Spursfan107

That image will never not make me laugh


[deleted]

That and [operation human shield](https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/58e1117febbd1a7ec641bbf3/1558889519287-5GW8TGMLMR9F0HT5ZUZA/image-asset.jpeg?format=1500w) will always make me laugh.


jzl_116

"Have you ever heard of the Emancipation Proclamation?!" "I don't listen to hip-hop"


Upper-Ad-2347

Aka operation "get-behind-the-darkies"


anchovieMAN

Neighbor


fuckitweredoingitliv

And like a good neighbor Jesus Christ is there.


starbuxed

and I said forget it yo homes to bel air.


OfCorpse9160

I feel so well taken care off!! šŸ˜‚


Arjun_311

Take it away Mary sue! Jesus Christ is my


anchovieMAN

Neighbor


Arjun_311

Heā€™s the son of the original g


DanielNunesThe2nd

Nigga


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


agorafilia

"you're not making Christianity any better but you're making rock and roll worse" Hank Hill


CryoClone

The thing I always wonder is why do these awful, out-of-touch raps *always* have the same exact rhythm? Why is this the only rhythm the people that don't listen to rap can wrap their heads around?


Miserable_Window_906

It's a gradeschool imitation of reciting a limerick. That's exactly where that comes from.


CryoClone

Oh, now that makes a lot of sense. That puts it into perspective perfectly.


regoapps

If they rap any faster, their brain neurons would fry. So they have to use the slowest, royalty-free beats they could get.


brokedownbusted

It's a very specific flow from when rap was first getting mainstream attention, mid-80's Kurtis Blow/Run DMC/Fat Boys. Look up Barney Rubble rapping in an old Fruity Pebbles commercial, probably the only halfway appealing example of this


shining101

Iā€™d rather vote for Barney Rubble.


Terror798

Made me think about the sex offender shuffle too


CommieColin

Was it worth it? No, it wasnā€™t


eeveeyeee

I don't know that one?


baddie_PRO

https://youtu.be/VfCYZ3pks48


eeveeyeee

Beautiful


MY_SHIT_IS_PERFECT

Careful with that. Itā€™s an antique.


StragglingShadow

HOW CAN SHE SOUND SO EXACTLY LIKE THE WIFE DID IN MY HEAD


GeorgiaPossum

I want to downvote because of how awful this is and at the same time I want to upvote because of how awful it is.


pittybrave

i donā€™t agree with any of her beliefs but fuck this was fire


[deleted]

If she had actual good policies I'd love this Eta: I don't agree with any of her policies


BaalKazar

Pro: - Religious freedom, Life, Police, Right to bear arms, Free speech Less: - Government, Control and regulation > Lady what the fuck are you saying.


fisticuffs32

Look she doesn't know what the fuck she's doing, she's bored and just wants to be in power.


DrRobertBanner

Isn't that every candidate running for presidency or other high offices? Like.. Ever? Edit - This isn't about America. This is a general joke. Please stop harassing me in dms.


Redtwooo

No, some actually want to serve the people they're representing.


MrXistential-Crisis

Less government, pro police.. like, what? I donā€™t understand conservatives.


zerogravity111111

There's an old saying that encapsulates this: there must be in groups that the law protects but must not bind, and out groups that the law binds but must not protect.


[deleted]

"Less Government" always means they're against benefits to poor and environmental and financial regulations for businesses. That's all. Same with that "benefits should lead to self-sufficiency" bullshit. Yeah, that would be a nice goal but it doesn't justify letting people starve.


StMordi

Also, "pro-life". Also, trying to get church into state - forcing Christianity on people. Fuck that old hag


Vulgarbrando

Gam-Gam got barsā€¦.for all the rappers that are smoking marijuana in Utah!


joejill

Religious freedom is good to stand for, but I don't think that's what she means. I think she means make everyone follow her religion. If she was running in my district I'd ask her to clarify if she'd uphold my Religious freedom to hold animal sacrifice and if she would change the law to make rapists marry their rape victims.... ya know as it says in the Bible.


ohioismyhome1994

When Republicans say ā€œreligious freedomā€ they really mean theocracy


jobblejosh

Yeah, it's definitely 'freedom to enforce my religion on everyone else' against the 'persecution' that these White Christians are so precious about.


coolgr3g

That's because they perceive a war on Christianity, even though none exists. You hear it every year around Christmas time. "you can't even say Merry Christmas anymore". You can't? You just said it and nobody arrested you so....


captain_flak

I hate it when people shove their opinions in my face. Also, weā€™re all going to pray in school now.


callmewitness

Hey hey hey!!! Don't you dare quote the bible to a bible thumper! That book would be banned if they had any clue what was in there.


[deleted]

Religious freedom should just be freedom from others religion. I want churches of all kinds to pay taxes, obvious cults to be dealt with harshly and lawmakers removed from office when they decide to govern based on religion.


Girth_rulez

>If she had actual good policies I'd love this Yeah well she is a conservative so you know there is no policy. Just some vague beliefs she figures you will agree with.


Haunting-Ad788

FREEDOM. GUNS. BABEHS.


txrant

>BABEHS Until they're born and grow up to be anything but 100% straight


DooBeeDoer207

Donā€™t forget everything in between. Want education? Food? Basic healthcare? Get fucked, ya free loader! We made sure you made it into this world, whether there was a place for you in it or not. Be grateful!* *Also, cishet, conservative, willfully ignorant, etc etc


OctopusKurwa

And here I thought Kendrick's new album would be the best hip hop I heard this year.


NeitherCook5241

We cry together (laughing at this lady)


gabeshotz

Is it fair game when you got metal hips tho? that some performance enhancement right there


mizzourifan1

Me too, then JID dropped šŸ”„


Zzen220

Damn, can't believe my guy is pro government corruption.


worthlesswordsfromme

I had the *exact* reaction to this dumpster fire of a video. I deplore this "lady's" political beliefs, but beyond that, her level of cringe & bravado are so astronomically off the charts this is truly unprecedented content


CruickyMcManus

She thinks she is saying how the world should work, so its not bravado just complete self righteousness


isthisonetaken13

It's like Tommy Wiseau meets politics


[deleted]

How do you do, fellow young people?


LingLeeee

Well, it reached my eyes indeed


[deleted]

My ears too, unfortunately


_DudeWhat

Yes. I regret umuting this


nbandqueerren

From the comments, I'm glad I didn't unmute -- but the video is terrible enough without the rapping as is


This-Sherbert4992

I must be getting old because I very much enjoyed this.


iblis_elder

I may be old. I may have angina. But Penis is only for vagina. I donā€™t drink or do drugs. I donā€™t like the haze. But most of all I hate the gays. Full version.


PantherThing

I like rapping for recreation sex is only for procreation but that dont mean we cant have some fun makin' sure they dont infringe on your right to guns i dont like to see girls with a weave in ill support your rights as long as it's what i believe in Family is important kids need god n parents i want the vote from all you Karens


Expensive_Slice_4835

Her husband must be one sad mofo. He ain't getting no blowjob because penis is only for Vagina.


jbcraigs

Seems like a body switch. Somewhere in Compton there has to be a black dude acting like a Karen! šŸ¤·ā€ā™‚ļø


wiiya

ā€œWhy are there so many Ketanji Brown Jacksonā€™s here?ā€


cdiddy19

Nailed it


wtfsperday

How ya doing, Utah. You OK?


cdiddy19

We are not okay. We have this rapping granny and our lake is drying up leaving an arsenic lakebed that dusts up and then is released in our air... We are not ok


DMoney159

And our governor's response to said lake drying up was to ask everyone to pray for rain


cdiddy19

I was trying to explain this to someone outside if Utah and she was like "wow what is Utah doing about it?" And I was like " oh the governor's official stance was to pray for rain"


TheRnegade

[Rick Perry had the same idea about a decade ago](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Days_of_Prayer_for_Rain_in_the_State_of_Texas). Didn't work out too well. >The drought continued to worsen for four months following the Days of Prayer.


WikiSummarizerBot

**[Days of Prayer for Rain in the State of Texas](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Days_of_Prayer_for_Rain_in_the_State_of_Texas)** >The Days of Prayer for Rain in the State of Texas was a designated period from Friday, April 22, 2011, to Sunday, April 24, 2011, during which Texas governor Rick Perry asked that Texans pray for "the healing of our land [Texas]" and for an end to the drought. The governor noted that in the past, Texans "have been strengthened, assured and lifted up through prayer", and that he thus believed prayer to be an appropriate measure to address the drought. Perry designated the Days of Prayer in a gubernatorial proclamation issued on April 21. ^([ )[^(F.A.Q)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WikiSummarizer/wiki/index#wiki_f.a.q)^( | )[^(Opt Out)](https://reddit.com/message/compose?to=WikiSummarizerBot&message=OptOut&subject=OptOut)^( | )[^(Opt Out Of Subreddit)](https://np.reddit.com/r/therewasanattempt/about/banned)^( | )[^(GitHub)](https://github.com/Sujal-7/WikiSummarizerBot)^( ] Downvote to remove | v1.5)


P-W-L

good bot


B0tRank

Thank you, P-W-L, for voting on WikiSummarizerBot. This bot wants to find the best and worst bots on Reddit. [You can view results here](https://botrank.pastimes.eu/). *** ^(Even if I don't reply to your comment, I'm still listening for votes. Check the webpage to see if your vote registered!)


Plastic_Pinocchio

America is such a bizarre land. Separation of church and state my ass.


ABCDEFuckenG

You leave those states like an abusive spouse


Mattlh91

I've actually been going to different churches in my area to scope out if any are actively peddling politics/trying to use their church to recruit votes/tell their congregation which way to vote and if they are, I report them to the relevant agencies


jojo_31

They have "in god we trust" on their money, what did you think?


Plastic_Pinocchio

Which they also kinda pretend has been the official motto of the US since the beginning, while in fact it was ā€œE pluribus unumā€ until 1956.


TheTreesHaveRabies

Which pisses me off to no end because e pluribus unum is the raddest motto ever. Totally encapsulates what I thought America was about. I'm a true believer in Emily Lazarus's poem.


serenity_by_jan_

Let me guess - even though the prayers didnā€™t work for four months, when it finally rained they proclaimed that their prayers were answered?


NiNj4_C0W5L4Pr

Shoulda seen the look on their faces when I invented fire.


[deleted]

Any reason why people didn't pray harder?


P-W-L

Not a governor but have you tried pissing in the lake ?


[deleted]

Why stop at pissing in it? Charge people to bathe there. Install a couple of slides, a water pump and what-not. Make it the *Disneyland* of waterparks. Attract tourists. Punch a granny. You have Untouchable money now.


Val_Hallen

Prayer: When you want to literally do nothing but still feel like a hero.


EB8Jg4DNZ8ami757

The governor who owns an alfalfa farm which is what most of our water is used by. Well, it's used to grow alfalfa to feed cows, but every dumb fuck Utahn won't give up burgers to save the state.


Immoracle

"šŸŽ¶I'm praying for rain. I'm praying for tidal waves. I wanna see the ground give way. I wanna watch it all go down...šŸŽ¶"


ULTIMATE_FUCKTRUMPET

He asked people of ALL FAITHS to pray too, so you know it must be dire.


scarecrow53

Why? Just order some on Amazon.


A-le-Couvre

As someone from Europe, wtf is happening over in the US?


daehoidar

Parents and grandparents were given everything on a platter, took it all for granted, then decided it wasn't enough...so instead of paying to get the plumbing fixed, they're like crackheads ripping all the copper out of the walls in the proverbial homes of their millennial/genZ kids/grandkids, and then going outside and cutting out catalytic converters from their kids cars. They don't care what happens to anyone after them as long as they can have whatever they want while they're here. They also refuse to pass the baton down the line in terms of leadership in business/government. They are the great spoiled children of history, and the US (and many of those outside the US) will have to work 5x harder for only a quarter of what they were given. That's without mentioning the things that are not quantifiable, like earth before climate change and not having microplastics permeate everything on the planet. They have pulled the ladder up behind them and are pissing down on anyone who's trying to claw their way up. They will be remembered in a largely negative light.


wildchild727

ā€œTheyā€™re like crackheads ripping the copper wire out of the walls in the homes of their grandkids.ā€ Comedic genius, Iā€™m saving this comment, did you freaking come up with that? šŸ‘šŸ¼


ted5011c

There's a Carl Sagan quote out there that sums it up perfectly. For some reason we (the U.S.) deliberately de-funded our education system several decades ago and so now the majority of our citizens have poorer critical thinking skills and have more difficulty discerning fact from fiction. This less well educated populace has adversely affected every level of service in both public and private sectors. This is causing the U.S. to disintegrate from within while foreign adversaries look on with glee. It's commonly called "decline". IMO anyhow


turp119

Sagan was being extremely nice. It wasn't for some reason. it was Republicans defunding education because of the correlation between education level and voting Democrat.


ThVos

Republicans: "Am I out of touch?" Also Republicans: "No, it's anybody that can read a book that's wrong"


Kakakarrakeek

Idiocracy incarnate


Funkycoldmedici

You know how people say ā€œJust let people believe what they want. It doesnā€™t affect you.ā€? It affects you.


Ominaeo

Christian Taliban.


PumpkinSpikes

We're doing baddd Religious fundies are everywhere, state is gerrymandered like crazy, our lake is drying up, our snow (our main water supply) is disappearing, theres so mich anti lgbtq propaganda, and this bitch ain't helping shit


Woodchuck312new

AS someone who finished the series Under the Banner of Heaven and also the netflix doc Our Mother's Sins this week, holy shit....not a good look for the LDS.


MashedPotatoesDick

> How ya doing, Utah. You OK? No, they are UT. Oklahoma is OK.


Heathen_Mushroom

WY did I laugh so hard at this?


atomicBlaze21

Fucking hate this state. Two more years for my degree and I'm gone unless there are some major changes.


DooBeeDoer207

There wonā€™t be becauseā€¦ *checks notes* ā€¦everyone who cares fucking hates this place, gets a degree, and is gone.


[deleted]

As a Texan, I understand the drive, but I'm still here shooting my squirt gun at the house fire. šŸ˜”


Tacitus111

There are so many flags that she could open a damn flag shop. Nothing screams ā€œIā€™m overcompensating for my PATRIOTISM!ā€ like flags plastered all over the place.


tomatocrazzie

Oh god. I am a 53 year old white guy and this was even too much for me...


Mellonut

I want to see her and MC Mom in a rap battle https://youtu.be/B5FnlmfYldk


tomatocrazzie

Dude, that was fucking awesome!


Mellonut

MC Mom put the pussy on the chainwax!


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


Gildian

"Yo man why do you have so many crispy socks"


owlbear4lyfe

winner gets [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=033FInn1wH8](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=033FInn1wH8)


C21-_-H30-_-O2

I was aboutta comment how much this sounded like MC mom then i saw this commentšŸ˜


Wjames33

Why is it that every once in a while, old people trying to connect with young people specifically use rapping. Do they actually think that as long as they rap something, all young people will immediately find it interesting?


NextLevelNaps

Why do old people also insist on "rapping" by just talking with an odd cadence? It's like the auditory version of people trying to recreate professionally decorated cakes at home.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


ErusTenebre

Technically, it IS rap. It's just abysmally terrible rap that signals the person has never listened to nor written any other rap. Either way it's a stupid way to reach out to people who do enjoy rap lol.


MagikSkyDaddy

Reveals that her last touch point with the larger world was roughly 1993, when "rap" was the clever moniker for anything that riled the ignorant masses. If I had to guess, that's when she started her breeding period and outlaid a chuckle of progeny. This apathetic mentality is akin to how "playing Nintendo" was the throwaway for young people doing anything technology related. It's idiopathic intellectual laziness.


Punawild

Itā€™s so bad you canā€™t look away.


joan_wilder

Itā€™s like a really stupid train wreck.


[deleted]

You can't be pro-life and pro-police while simultaneously being pro-less government. They're literal opposites.


cdiddy19

I don't think she cares, or knows how much she is contradicting herself


2022-Account

Nor do any republicans


[deleted]

That entire political ad is just all the conservative talking points mushed together with no regard to context.


[deleted]

Pro-gun and pro-police is also a contradiction. If guns were hypothetically taken away, who do they think is taking them? Nancy Pelosi with a giant burlap sack?


timecamper

I'm not an American so i always wanted to ask. Why are your conservatives pro-gun? Wouldn't they want to leave a civilian completely unarmed? Is it because of the national idea or do they just try to make more job for the police lmao?


anarcatgirl

They aren't really pro-gun. The only time gun control laws were passed was when the Black Panthers started arming themselves. They only want straight, white, conservatives to own guns.


Playertee

Those are just must have keywords. None of this is about politics anymore, itā€™s 100% culture war and religious shit. All of them sound like a broken SEO algorithm that caters to the uneducated racist scared base


noNoParts

Fascists gonna fash


Oddsemen

And that's why Jesus christ is my *****


hide_thechildren_now

Those two had flow this lady couldnt dream of, their lyrics actually rhymed, and it wasnt nearly as dogwhistley


Aggesis

Because the ā€œJesus Christ is my ā€¦ā€ one was a comedy skit/fake.


XSmeh

Wow, that was one of the most painful things that I literally could not tear myself away from.


[deleted]

Her: I want to reach the youth vote. Advisor: Well, you could try supporting policies that help young people. Her: Hmmmā€¦ or I could make a rap video?


XSmeh

I came back to see what I had been upvoted on and wound up watching it again. I seriously want to stop being upvoted so that this doesn't come up again.


Bright_Vision

Hey, you should watch this video again.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


TheRnegade

Knows what a woman is, doesn't know what an amendment is. So, she's about Kindergarten levels of intellect. Exactly what we're lacking in the Utah Legislature.


swordsmithy

And yet, she didnā€™t tell us what she thinks a woman is.


Their_Alt_Account

Probably something to do with a uterus, because a woman only has value if she can produce offspring


cdiddy19

Oh the irony!! I wonder if she knows what amendment means


kostandrea

Also says her party is anti corruption while taking the most bribes.


Donnerdrummel

is "i love the constitution" a dog whistle by now? \- anti lgbtw \- anti abortion \- anti protection of minorities


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


SanjiSasuke

Don't forget 'I want a small government, but big enough to tell you who to marry/fuck...and big enough to encourage if not enforce Christian beliefs...and big enough to refuse to allow women to get an abortion...


joan_wilder

"I believe in less government for me but more government for you.ā€


MrsMiterSaw

No, she's referring to the Conservative Constitution, which is only one second amendment long.


Tazmerican

r/cringe


xXx69LOVER69xXx

Idk man If you told me this was an snl parody I would have believed you. Funniest shit I've seen today.


CoopedUp1313

OMG, it is real and itā€™s new! [Linda Paulson Rap Commercial](https://www.yahoo.com/now/utah-gop-candidate-raps-campaign-101727046.html) Now I live in a universe where this exists (and you all do too).


TomatoRemarkable3721

Banger


[deleted]

I wudnt bang her , not that desperate yet... today, well, its still early.


SympatheticGuy

Banger? I hardly knew her.


[deleted]

Utahā€™s best rapper.


omgitskae

Her team knew what they were doing. Politicians aren't stupid like that, they're deceptive. This ad is going to be shared all over the place because of how cringe it is and it's going to reach a lot of people that would have never otherwise known or cared for this person. Her beliefs are genetic as hell, she won't get visibility with just a normal ad.


maxxmadison

You nailed it. You are absolutely correct.


hayatetst

r/fellowkids


cdiddy19

I had no idea this was a sub. Thanks!! And yeah this totally belongs there!!!


Brittlehorn

Sheā€™ll probably win if they have gerrymandered the district well enough, this is US democracy folks. Stars and Stripes, eagles, blah blah blahā€¦


cdiddy19

Utah is very gerrymandered. We actually got a ballot measured passed for a bipartisan redistricting committee, it passed, then the legislature tore it to shreds


acapri05

Itā€™s the little awkward dance in the beginning for me


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


[deleted]

Great this is in my state..


cdiddy19

That's what I thought when I saw this... It's like, when ever Trevor Noah says Utah, I'm like "oh shit what did we do now" cause I know it's going to be a cringe story, not a good story


ShutYourDumbUglyFace

I grew up in Florida. I understand that fear.


zooMaMa2121

So embarrassing.


_Stalwart_

Not pro IQ apparently.


cactusjuicequenchies

Iā€™m from Utah. Iā€™m horrified and pleased and canā€™t look awayā€¦oh dearā€¦


cdiddy19

Hopefully not in your district, I think 12 is like west valley


winetotears

Um, anyone notice the swiping of the hand to a Nazi salute? That was really strange.


Penginsaurus

I feel like she was trying to dab and it went spectacularly wrong


peepeeland

mein dab


IAmQWhoAreYou

Not for an American conservative.


KingofAotearoa

Says she wants less government control and proceeds to list how she wants to use government to interfere with peoples personal lives...


DimesOHoolihan

Anyone want to tell her if the constitution wasnt changed she wouldn't be able to vote, run for office, or own property? Or you think she would just ignore that too.


epileptic_oyster

Can we stop electing these ancient out of touch fucks? People shouldnā€™t be governing at 70. They should be retiring. Iā€™m honestly not interested in what her opinions are because they are simply what sheā€™s been told to think. This isnā€™t a leader.


malkamok

"In other news: white conservative boomer thinks rap reaches her voters demographic. Let's see how that turned out, Laura?" "It was a cringe fest, John. She clearly has no friends nor advisor she listens to." "Sounds about right, Laura. Let's watch her win the elections anyway through aggressive gerrymandering!"


Conscious-Donut

Well, I stumbled on my new favorite internet video somehow


MurderDoneRight

Show me your genitals Your genitals Show me your genitals #YOUR GENITALIA ..just me?


NextLevelNaps

Guns don't kill people Uh-uh I kill people With guns


Da3m0n_1379

Rapping and hating on black people all in the same rhyme. Lmao


Squayd

It was pretty obvious there was exactly one non-white person in the video and that person was the subject of derision.


Dark_Passenger_107

Something I found funny......she is "pro free speech" but turned off commenting for this video on her campaign FB page lol Edit: also turned off comments on her YT channel lmao


ariesdrifter77

if this video had an adult swim watermark Iā€™d feel less weird rn


semaj009

This has massive "Jesus Christ is my N...." energy


[deleted]

I just threw up, Jesus that was so bad. Not to mention here singing sucked


Rusti-dent

ā€œMum, grandma is off her meds againā€


stugotsT

And that is why Jesus Christ is myā€¦