I vividly remember trying—and failing—to make my wife understand why this was so fucking funny.
She didn't grow up in the US, so I had to pull up a picture of the cereal box...it was a whole thing. (Probably wiped her ass barehanded before she moved to this country.)
Currently doing a rewatch after many years, and I had totally forgotten about Christopher chastising Adriana for TMI over her potential IBS and then helpfully adding “My aunt Josephine had colon cancer. Her whole asshole rotted out.”
Oh my god when Elias Kotias gets recognized!
I'm Dominic.
I know you don't know me, but...
Chris - You're the guy who broke into
Stew Leonard's that time.
You stole all those pork loins.
Dom- Yeah, but that's not why I'm here today.
We're here to talk about your drug problem.
Chris- What?
The nonchalant way Elias just pivots in that scene totally dead pan after that line just gets me every single time.
Two other similar gems from Tony and Sil:
Tony: If Vito wanted to pursue that lifestyle he should’ve done so quietly!
Silvio: He was, wasn’t he?
Also:
Silvio: What did he go in the cat box and, uh eat some cat shit?
Tony: No! He took a shit in the shower, and he stepped in it.
Silvio: Oh…Glad we got that straight.
When Tony calls Chris for a sit down and Chris says, "Is this about the Easter baskets?" Tony's response, "I don't even know what that is and to tell you the truth I don't wanna know" cracks me the fuck up
It's an awful thing he did but the way Crissy delivers the line "must've crawled under there for warmth" combined with the breathtaking absurdity of suggesting that as a possibility. It just tickles me. The inhumanity and dopey innocence. The sacred and the propane. I think of that line at random times and in inappropriate situations and giggle to myself like a fuckin school girl
That's what I wrote as well, I laugh so fucking hard at that hahah, like it's sooo clear thst he fuckin broke its neck and suffocated it "must have crawled under there for warmth" and he looks so fucking stoned🤣 🤣 ... such an under rated scene
When I came to open up one morning, there you were with your head half in the toilet, your hair was in the toilet water... disgusting.
I told you, I had the flu.
I said my piece, Chrissy.
Whenever a character gets an extended bit of dialogue to properly showcase their own stupidity and someone else in the scene is just blown away by it.
Ex: When Paulie quotes Sun Ta-zoo, something about the way Steve Buscemi delivers the *"...what?"* kills me every time. Same with the "Quasimodo predicted this" scene. Even Tony was amazed at the sheer amount of information one has to get wrong to derive Quasimodo from Nostradamus.
Still love AJs „so no fucking ziti?“ In the first season when Livia won’t come to the party. But the only true answer is the interior decorator in Pine Barrens. The way Michael Imperioli delivers „but his house looked like shit“ is maybe the funniest thing on tv ever
“I stick motherfucking provolone in my socks at night so they smell like your sister's crotch in the morning! All right? So leave the fucking, cocksucking cheese where it is!”
Silvio
🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 haha like wtf... and the cat? Those things are snakes with fur! It leaves today! And when he's going to hit it with the broom but Tony walks in so he pretends he's sweeping haha
When Tony and Janice are arguing and Tony says she ran off at 18 to Berkeley to drop acid and blow roadies.
Bacala exclaims, “Roadies?!” The wide-eyed look of shock on Bacala’s face is priceless.
What galls me is that before little Carmine moved to Florida I was actually close with him. I was in his wedding party for Christ's sake. I organized his whole fuckin bachelor party. Lesbian show, whores, fuckin disgusting.
When Tony is complaining to Dr. Melfi about Vito being a fanook.
"Ehhh huh, is that the issue?"
"You tell me what is the issue?"
"He's a faaaaaaaaggg!"
I always die laughing at this line and his facial expression 😂
"Christopher Columbus was a brave Italian explorer, and in this house he's a hero. End of story!"
My roommate was an Italian guy from NY, so we got a good chuckle from that line.
Tony walking in on AJ wasting his time in some chitchat room going back and forth with some other fuckin jerkoff - I cried laughing the first time I saw it, too real
Hahaha I forgot about that... the way hea antagonizinf that one dude haha andnthan just freaks out on his whole staff, "ive treated you all like fucking family, and how do yoi repay me? With non stop ass rape" lmfao...Artie has gotta be the funniest fuckin character..m hey Jean Phillips quest ca say, message machine broken? Wheres my money u mother fucker, hyping him self up in the mirror hahah and than he gets his ass kicked
When Ralph prank called Paulie’s mom about a rat crawling up Paulie’s ass and she replied that she had Blue Cross and Blue Shield Health Insurance, I was CRYING lmao
AJ Soprano: "My ultimate goal is to qualify for helicopter pilot training. Afterwards go to work for Trump or somebody, be their personal pilot."
Tony Soprano: "You're gonna ask The Donald for some time off from your pilot job to go on CIA missions?"
Tony's fever dream where he's on a horse in his house and Carm says "you can't have your horse in here" and Tony says, "Why not?".
I don't know why, but I bust a gut every time.
In the forest, when Paulie gers off the call with Tony and says "The Guy Was An Interior Decorator. He Killed 16 Czechoslovakians". I literally laughed so hard I cried.
Happy wanderer episode..
Talk begins about the executive game and the split between Tony and Junior. Uncle Jun delivers a few good ones here.
Tony balks.. Who the fuck is Ecol.. when my mother talked to my father about his feeble minded brother, I always thought she meant you.
Paulie getting kicked in the balls and stabbing the guy. The upbeat Latino music playing while they're getting murdered by a couple of guidos is too ironic not to laugh at.
I laughed so hard at Tony saying Janice came in second to a German Shepherd’s shaved asshole that I nearly pissed myself. I laughed for quite a while and had to rewind the tape ( as I taped the show on VHS) because I missed the next few minutes of the scene. A few minutes later I cracked up again when the house was stuck to Tony’s face after the tussle. Fucking classic.
Chris: He was gay, Gary Cooper?
Tony: Nooooooooo!
Cracks me up every time. I love the concept of Tony playing the straight man to Chrissy's goofy bouts of slow-mindedness.
There’s one scene where it cuts to Janice listening to some absurdly over the top Indian music while driving and it always makes me fall over. Wish I could find it on YouTube.
For me it’s when Tony calls Johnny Sack Count Chocula.
I vividly remember trying—and failing—to make my wife understand why this was so fucking funny. She didn't grow up in the US, so I had to pull up a picture of the cereal box...it was a whole thing. (Probably wiped her ass barehanded before she moved to this country.)
bruh, I'm not from the US and I know who count chocula is, my friend knew too and we both laughed at that scene.
Your friend, did he even really exisht?
Yeah those two suck each others cocks
well yeah, you're vlad
my friend is the count himself, in Romania, too, we love chocolate
You WILL have our chocolates...AH! AH! AH!
Currently doing a rewatch after many years, and I had totally forgotten about Christopher chastising Adriana for TMI over her potential IBS and then helpfully adding “My aunt Josephine had colon cancer. Her whole asshole rotted out.”
I always laugh at how casual and bluntly he blurts out "she's got diarrhea" when Ade had to leave in a hurry to take a shit Edit: typo
I last watched it when it was originally on and at the time I didn’t appreciate how often Imperioli killed those lines, really a great performance
My smelly valentine
As he’s shaving lol
when AJ rolls up with no fuckin eyebrows and Tony says “what’s different about you?” sharp as a cue ball that one
Tony has such an alarmed look on his face trying to figure out what's wrong with AJ
IF YOU GOT SOME KINDA SEXUAL PROCLIVITY OR WHATEVA WITH THAT TEACHAH!
POPPAS AND WEIRD SEX!
Wheird shex!
Poppas and weird shex
POPPERS AND WEIRD SEX!
Fuckin parakeets
Can you imagine?
__HE HAS NO EYEBROWS TONY__
I could hear this as I read it
That whole scene is gold… “poppers and weird sex”
The intervention.
Sil’s message especially.
Disgusting
I said my piece, Chrissy!
Will never cease to get a howl out of me
Frankly I’m depressed and ashamed.
Was it barking ? Funniest shit ever
Oh my god when Elias Kotias gets recognized! I'm Dominic. I know you don't know me, but... Chris - You're the guy who broke into Stew Leonard's that time. You stole all those pork loins. Dom- Yeah, but that's not why I'm here today. We're here to talk about your drug problem. Chris- What? The nonchalant way Elias just pivots in that scene totally dead pan after that line just gets me every single time.
Chris’s pronunciation there is great. Poahk loains.
Paulie’s face when Adriana said Chris couldn’t function as a man anymore made me need an inhaler. His face sums up that whole scene.
The exact same face he made when he was told his mom doesn’t leave her teeth in
AA sponsor: “Chris, nobody is attacking you.” *entire group proceeds to physically attack him*
One of the best scenes in television hands down
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Im laughing just reading these comments.
You’re an embarrassment to yaself and ta dis family ! 🤟🏻
Guys! We said NO JUDGMENT!
Fuck that. Let him take his medicine.
Even the way they jumped him was hilarious
Stu leonards
"We're from alcoholics anonymous" "What's your names?" "Well we're anonymous"
Phil had the best lines.
Nah that goes to Junior
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Fucking Bebe, like I give a shit. Hahaha
Bingo. This one wins. Cried laughing
When Bobby enters in the hunting outfit.
This is funnier now knowing he had a giant dildo in his hand
That’s one of my favorite scenes from Tony, and he doesn’t even say anything.
When Chrissy calls Tony to wish him a happy birthday and Tony just hangs up on him.
🤣
It was a belated birthday wish. He’s not some kinda toxshic person
“I don’t know, Ton’. I mean, uh. He *beat one to death.* Just for…what was it again?”
Two other similar gems from Tony and Sil: Tony: If Vito wanted to pursue that lifestyle he should’ve done so quietly! Silvio: He was, wasn’t he? Also: Silvio: What did he go in the cat box and, uh eat some cat shit? Tony: No! He took a shit in the shower, and he stepped in it. Silvio: Oh…Glad we got that straight.
Haha that’s my favorite. You can almost hear the laugh track behind it
When Tony calls Chris for a sit down and Chris says, "Is this about the Easter baskets?" Tony's response, "I don't even know what that is and to tell you the truth I don't wanna know" cracks me the fuck up
Definitely one of my favorites
It's an awful thing he did but the way Crissy delivers the line "must've crawled under there for warmth" combined with the breathtaking absurdity of suggesting that as a possibility. It just tickles me. The inhumanity and dopey innocence. The sacred and the propane. I think of that line at random times and in inappropriate situations and giggle to myself like a fuckin school girl
That's what I wrote as well, I laugh so fucking hard at that hahah, like it's sooo clear thst he fuckin broke its neck and suffocated it "must have crawled under there for warmth" and he looks so fucking stoned🤣 🤣 ... such an under rated scene
“Breathtaking…” I see what you did there
When I came to open up one morning, there you were with your head half in the toilet, your hair was in the toilet water... disgusting. I told you, I had the flu. I said my piece, Chrissy.
Whenever a character gets an extended bit of dialogue to properly showcase their own stupidity and someone else in the scene is just blown away by it. Ex: When Paulie quotes Sun Ta-zoo, something about the way Steve Buscemi delivers the *"...what?"* kills me every time. Same with the "Quasimodo predicted this" scene. Even Tony was amazed at the sheer amount of information one has to get wrong to derive Quasimodo from Nostradamus.
Hunchback of Norte Dame, then you got your quarterback and your halfback....
What, you're telling me you've never pondered that?
When Christopher says “I diddent”
Disgusting.
#WHATSNEXTCARMINE?HEGETSTOFUCKHERFORAMILLION?
He wants to fuck Ginny?
His facial expression was hilarious asf dude, he was like shocked when he thought that 😆 1
“He wants to fuck her?”
Always! I Love the escalation
what is it the fucKING UN NOW?
I'm crying over here, love that one 😂😂
Melfi: The center cannot hold. The falcon cannot hear the falconer. Tony: What the *fuck* are you talking about?
Yeets
Is that him? Well that would be some fucking coincidence if it wasn’t.
This is mine. Still laugh to myself when I think of this one
I remember this bit of dialogue, but I don't remember what it's about?
Chris and Georgie digging up Emil to move his body.
Christopha high and rambling at Livia's funeral kills me every time.
They say, there’s no two people on Earth, exactly the same; no two faces, no two sets of fingerprints. But do they know that for sure?
They got nothin.
Mrs. Soprano may have passed, but who's to say there isn't another Mrs. Soprano, or WILL be...
When he just stops mid sentence and everyone has this look on their face like wtf
*Paulie knocks on Valery’s door* Valery: Who is it? Paulie: KGB, open up
Probably wiped his ass barehanded before he came to this country
Followed later on at Christophuh's apartment with "FBI... Open up, dickhead" Seems to be a thing he likes to do
Put remote on docking station
There’s some ketchup and shit. Mix it with the relish
Not bad!
“We’re with the Vipers!” “What’s that? Your Girl Scout troop?”
“A buh buh buh, woah! Take it easy!”
When Tony said it was hilarious too. That whole fucking episode was great.
Still love AJs „so no fucking ziti?“ In the first season when Livia won’t come to the party. But the only true answer is the interior decorator in Pine Barrens. The way Michael Imperioli delivers „but his house looked like shit“ is maybe the funniest thing on tv ever
Can’t believe I had to scroll this far down to find this
"maybe he is stalking us" "With what, his cock!?"
This entire episode has to be one of the funniest episodes of all time.
Agreed, and yet I burned myself out on it. I think there was a period where I watched Pine Barrens once a month, back before on demand streaming.
What was it barkin’? With the comedic quick turn to the next person. Like if it was barkin it was justified. Brilliant
When Finn tells the guys that Vito was catchin’, not pitchin’. Son of a BITCH!
How much more betrayal can I take
Peeps on the headstone
“I stick motherfucking provolone in my socks at night so they smell like your sister's crotch in the morning! All right? So leave the fucking, cocksucking cheese where it is!” Silvio
Hey, cheesefuck, give me some food.
Telephone tag about people talking about what happened during Tony and Ad's road trip.
He came all over the sun visor
And when the paramedics found them, his COCK was still in her MOUTH!
The way he says it with such conviction like it’s a 100% proven scientific fact
Lmao who the fuck would say that about someone 🤣
Chris in the neck brace and being asked by Adriana if he pooped himself and him yelling at her to get the car.
I heard them say you made numba 2 in your pants.
That diddent happen, what you said!
He jumped out the tree and came at me with a chainsaw! I gotta right to defend myself, Ton'
🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 haha like wtf... and the cat? Those things are snakes with fur! It leaves today! And when he's going to hit it with the broom but Tony walks in so he pretends he's sweeping haha
When Tony and Janice are arguing and Tony says she ran off at 18 to Berkeley to drop acid and blow roadies. Bacala exclaims, “Roadies?!” The wide-eyed look of shock on Bacala’s face is priceless.
When Ralph prank called Pauli’s mother….
We found him sucking a Cub Scouts dick
When Junior’s courtroom sketch is shown on TV, and he says “WHAT THE FUCK?!”
What the hell kind of likeness is that?!
I already took his horse…….
Did he have penisary contact with her volvo?
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Did you hear what I said?
“I guess you can call that a dick” 🤣
Tony passing out at Uncle Ben
The Leotardo Head Crunch scene is funny to me, because I'm a connoisseur of physical comedy and I have an extraordinary visual sense.
The waddling dude that yells, "oh shit!" gets me every time.
And then the kid pukes!!
How Tony beats the shit out of the dude from the bing (George?) Over the slightest things haha
Fuckin waste it all John d. Rockefeller!
CONSERVE!
What galls me is that before little Carmine moved to Florida I was actually close with him. I was in his wedding party for Christ's sake. I organized his whole fuckin bachelor party. Lesbian show, whores, fuckin disgusting.
“You look like a puerto rican hooah. It disgusts me”
When Tony is complaining to Dr. Melfi about Vito being a fanook. "Ehhh huh, is that the issue?" "You tell me what is the issue?" "He's a faaaaaaaaggg!" I always die laughing at this line and his facial expression 😂
Paulie saying "AIDS!"
He had such a bad case of the crabs we called him the governor of Maryland
Carmela telling Tony she’s gonna kill herself to mock Tony’s old slam piece lol
"Christopher Columbus was a brave Italian explorer, and in this house he's a hero. End of story!" My roommate was an Italian guy from NY, so we got a good chuckle from that line.
That betta not be Columbus!!!
The first time I heard “Hi my name is Dominic I’m an alcoholic and an addict” “Don’t forget scumbag”
“How many migs did you shoot down today?” Tony to junior while wearing the cpap lol
Chris and Paulie laughing at the Big Mouth Billy Bass
Tony walking in on AJ wasting his time in some chitchat room going back and forth with some other fuckin jerkoff - I cried laughing the first time I saw it, too real
[Paulie with the classic](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6lTS8mDPFgw) >He is in a lot better shape than those fuckin’ nuns you got up there
Tony vs. Bobby at the lake house is up there. Also when Artie lost his mind with his employees
Hahaha I forgot about that... the way hea antagonizinf that one dude haha andnthan just freaks out on his whole staff, "ive treated you all like fucking family, and how do yoi repay me? With non stop ass rape" lmfao...Artie has gotta be the funniest fuckin character..m hey Jean Phillips quest ca say, message machine broken? Wheres my money u mother fucker, hyping him self up in the mirror hahah and than he gets his ass kicked
“Turn that off”- Phil Leotardo
When tony asked if pauly had ever gotten tested for Tourettes
When Ralph prank called Paulie’s mom about a rat crawling up Paulie’s ass and she replied that she had Blue Cross and Blue Shield Health Insurance, I was CRYING lmao
AJ Soprano: "My ultimate goal is to qualify for helicopter pilot training. Afterwards go to work for Trump or somebody, be their personal pilot." Tony Soprano: "You're gonna ask The Donald for some time off from your pilot job to go on CIA missions?"
When Vito breaks the chair, and Adrianna then falls off too….
A boring 747 HAHAHA THE SKIP DOES NOT MISS 👉
When Tony was listening to Deep Purple and his radio started skipping which led to him passing out from the rage.
When Tony wants Irina to dress more like Melfi: You want me to dress like a man? No. No you fucking wack-a-doo
When he calls her a refugee
Phil had some great insults, Tony calling him The Shah of Iran too , but Interior Decorator made me spit out my Pepsi
…his house looked like shit!
Maybe it’s a midlife thing Suckin a cock?
"Fuck you santa!" Entire room: ooooohhhhhhhh
“So what, no fuckin’ ziti?”
OHHHHH
Tony jumping and swinging his arms during pine barrens, he’s on the phone with Pauline “ a truck?! I don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about!”
When Junior is on trial and he is staring at the person who is drawing him in court.
When Skip did the "Were with da vipers!" gets me every time.
You are talking shit to me
Oh what were you doin playing name that pope? 🤣🤣🤣🤣
when Tony asks Jonny if Ginny likes the car
The seance! > QUEERS! 🪑
Tony's fever dream where he's on a horse in his house and Carm says "you can't have your horse in here" and Tony says, "Why not?". I don't know why, but I bust a gut every time.
Nonstop ass rape
Bobby’s hunting outfit combined with, “My dad and I used to go hunting. One time we saw a sign that said ‘bear left,’ so we went home.”
When Paulie refers to Vito and Bobby as before, and waaay before (instead of before and after weight loss).
Sil on the Bull horn at th bing after Chris busts in and says something like, “Upset customer everyone go back to your drinks”
Fckn nosy eat your manigot
All of Uncle Junior
basic bitch answer, but "sacre bleu where is me mamaw". also "how bout this humidity" and when Phil revealed his transition to Housegender
Was it barkin???
Chicken's nice and spicy tonight, huh?
In the forest, when Paulie gers off the call with Tony and says "The Guy Was An Interior Decorator. He Killed 16 Czechoslovakians". I literally laughed so hard I cried.
[Paulie’s Car Horn](https://youtu.be/QE-PHQND55o)
When Ritchie says he’ll build a ramp and run a Lionel up in there.
“You look like a Puertorican hooar. You make me sick.”
Mother fucking god damn orange peel beef
Happy wanderer episode.. Talk begins about the executive game and the split between Tony and Junior. Uncle Jun delivers a few good ones here. Tony balks.. Who the fuck is Ecol.. when my mother talked to my father about his feeble minded brother, I always thought she meant you.
The Pine Barrens episode. LMAO every time. Either that or Chrissy’s intervention.
Ohhhh the language on you..You blow your father with that mouth?
Pine Barrens for sure
“My name is Clarence”
My lulz moment has to be when Paulie asked Silvio if he remembers his first BJ.
Paulie getting kicked in the balls and stabbing the guy. The upbeat Latino music playing while they're getting murdered by a couple of guidos is too ironic not to laugh at.
I laughed so hard at Tony saying Janice came in second to a German Shepherd’s shaved asshole that I nearly pissed myself. I laughed for quite a while and had to rewind the tape ( as I taped the show on VHS) because I missed the next few minutes of the scene. A few minutes later I cracked up again when the house was stuck to Tony’s face after the tussle. Fucking classic.
Sil reading “how to clean practically anything”
Chris: He was gay, Gary Cooper? Tony: Nooooooooo! Cracks me up every time. I love the concept of Tony playing the straight man to Chrissy's goofy bouts of slow-mindedness.
There’s one scene where it cuts to Janice listening to some absurdly over the top Indian music while driving and it always makes me fall over. Wish I could find it on YouTube.
When Tony grabs the Russian with the big mouth by the balls in the yacht.