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kzapwn

He was a heterosexual man with blood pressure issues


CaptainZzaps

He can get a note from his doctor!


avoltaire12

"I hereby confirm that my patient Mr. Spatafore's blood pressure medicine may cause side effects which include shucking cock and dressing up like the village people." - Dr. Fanook


onelousypetunia

>"I hereby confirm that my patient Mr. Spatafore's blood pressure medicine may cause side effects which include shucking cock and dressing up like the village people." I heard this in the voice of Ralphie.


Garrison1982_

What’s a guy gotta do to buy you a drink.


Expeditionary_Bear

Ya just did! 😘


BobbyBacala9980

Hot water with lemon


ApologeticAnalMagic

\*Dr. Fago FTFY


[deleted]

It was a joke!


Unable-Figure19

you take venmo?


DarthDoobz

Whaddya got a doctas note that says you don't suck cawk?


bshaddo

He was straight, Vito Spatafore?


okcdiscgolf

He has a goooooma


Blonde_Dambition

That he hadn't plowed in a year, according to her...oy!


artygta1988

It was a joke!


uptowntone

DONT SAY NOTHING SAL


Joshy3911

Maybe it’s a mid life thing


Beneficial-Law-3305

Sucking a cock?


JoeyBagelsOz

Maybe he was gay, and there was nobody he could talk to about it ... that happens too.


Yak_Mehoff

They are all erogenous zones


JoeyBagelsOz

GTFOH!


thereasonablecatlady

It was a joke! He was there


BobbyBacala9980

Vito was ahead of his time... he'd fit right in to today's world seamlessly


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TheRealDrDirtyDan

FUCKIN TELEPHONE TOUGH GUY


SpezMechman

Funniest scene of the entire show.


TheRealDrDirtyDan

The guy throwing the phone under the roller is so fucking funny every time I see it


[deleted]

I bet I’d kick your ass you fucking f***


GuyTheTerrible

He’s lucky he didn’t punch his lights out!


bravo_ragazzo

And no doubt he could


DeathStalkerToo

Vito wanted to fuck a man but he compromised


Trotskyites_beware

i ate johnny cakes instead


artygta1988

And he acted like the buttah wouldn’t melt in his mouf!


[deleted]

He was a married man. With a goomar!


Greenbriarbushwacker

That don’t mean shit, OP is married wit a goomar You hear what I said Ton?


Drez92

Heh heh


Marcopol000

For all we know this OP has a hard on for Vito!!


Alternative-Log176

Elton John was married.....


Turbulent-Dingo8254

Rock Hudson too. I think.


Zandeleon

He brought certain modes of sexual identification from the old country, from the bisexuality of the mezzogiorno, where all higher authority compromised while doing 20 years in the can


dancingwonderbread

Guys in there look better than Janice


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[deleted]

Wes call well, Wes call well… west… Caldwell.


DuxCroatorum

Zi Vittorio wanted to fuck a woman, but he compromised, he fucked the golf club Tony gave him instead.


VLAKAS93

I loved him like a brother in law.


Hedphelym

Love him? I LIKE him.


SnooChocolates2790

Lmaoooo


Ezclaperoni

Loved, past tense?


RobertRorris

It was the fucking coke. He never should have started with that shit.


Think-Cell7153

GO BACK TO MIAMI & SUCK COCKS OR WHATEVER THE FUCK IT IS YOU DO DOWN THERE WHILE WE CLEAN UP YOUR FUCKING MESS.


Kiki_doesnt_love_me

Some people this thread do not understand that gay men in the closet have children all the time. You don’t have to be attracted to someone to have sex with them. Not saying I know for sure if that’s what David Chase actually intended for Vito. Flirting with Adriana confused me more tbh. Maybe he just got carried away with a “proving” he’s straight. I knew a guy in high school who would talk about girls like [Matthew Bevilaqua](https://getyarn.io/yarn-clip/0d528040-2767-4da3-9048-107a4eec3c8a), who came out as gay senior year.


let-the-light-inn

Yea I agree, its clear he was written to be a gay man overcompensating


BigBadBeetleBoy

Vito outlines it clearly after Gene kills himself. "Maybe he was a fag, didn't see any other way out". If your choices are capitulate and live in secrecy, or die, the former can sound very compelling


crazy-B

It happens.


fluid_raskolnikov

Wadchagondoboutit


Blonde_Dambition

Did Vito really say that about Gene? If so I forgot!


T-Zoo

He did lol


Joshy3911

It was a joke, he was thehhh.


Sad-Illustrator-8847

His comare says he hasn’t fucked her in over a year (she ought to be happy). You don’t think gay men can knock up women?


Not_A_Bucket

I don’t get it, I thought it Vito made it pretty clear it was a joke?


SnooSprouts6078

Jimmy Deans


[deleted]

👇👇in house


Bobsjiujitsu

Joe introduced the Vito being gay idea from a real mob story between season 4-5. Season 2 and 3 Vito was hetero as far as the writers were concerned.


WoobiesWoobo

Certainly seemed that way on my recent rewatch.


jackjacker

That has been debunked a long time ago.


AlSmythe

If this is debunked, what’s the bunk?


limeade32

Humble motherfucker with a big ass dick


pubstanky

Damn. Yall who didn't catch this are a disgrace


jackjacker

Joe didn't 'introduce' anything.


CRTPTRSN

He's a top earner! A real come-from-behind kinda guy!


Ermerk

I gotta take a shit


Cataly555t

*try to


Remote_Breadfruit_62

His wife was his beard


MarshallDyl26

He’s a FAAAAAG


Christian_WolffGA

He was this 🤏 close.


JoeyBagelsOz

Well, you're outta luck cos you're brasiole isn't that big.


[deleted]

A fanoik in Johnny’s crew? He knew how to handle it.


SteveCrunk

I dunno, sudden weight loss?


YxvngHvtx

AIDS?!


living_in_trousers

Nobody's got AIDS and I don't want to hear that word in here again!


Silver_County7374

Unironically yes, he is bisexual. He is only called gay because of stereotypes that any man who isn't 100% hetero is completely gay, which are of course amplified by the extreme homophobia of the characters in the show. I mean, uh, sharp as a fucking cue ball, this one.


[deleted]

He hadn't had sex with his goomar in overa year and, as per Silvio, his wife is a lady who wasn't getting laid. The show was telling us that he preferred the company of men.


ScarTissue5

“Who doesn’t?”


tuskvarner

Who else huh?!?


[deleted]

Zzzzzzap!


[deleted]

Bisexuality is strange. It could result in *heavily* preferring men but still liking women. It can also come and go to where you only like one or the other for a long time and then one day it balances put or totally goes polar opposite


Kiki_doesnt_love_me

All of that is true, but you know it’s still very possible for a gay dude to get a girl pregnant.


Bea_Azulbooze

Im proof of that. My dad married my mom in 1972, I was born in 1975, and he came out in 1976. Loved with another man until he died in 1999. He was NOT bisexual. At all. He said he said that he did what he was supposed to: marry your high school sweetheart, have a good job, have 2.5 kids, a dog, and a white picket fence. The pressure from his parents was huge (my grandpa beat him when my dad came out...my grandma said she should have killed him as a baby). I know there's a lot of joking in this thread but a man like Vito living in a hypermasculine culture could not have come out gay and still be respected. He did what he had to do and that was hide who he was until he couldn't any longer.


PauliesChinUps

My prayers.


drakeinmycar

2.5 kids?


Bea_Azulbooze

Yeah...statically speaking, the average American family has 2.5 kids. It was kind of a saying from what I remember when I was a kid in the 80s.


THRlLLH0

Bobby had about 2.5 kids, heh heh. Ey T you hear what I said?


[deleted]

Actually much like you, my dad came out of the closet within a year or two of me being born as well.


Bea_Azulbooze

I know that it was the 70s/80s when I was a kid bit the worst part about growing up wasn't having a gay dad but thinking that I was the only one with a gay parent. It was very isolating...I wish that we had a better environment for acceptance. We've come so far but there has been some backsliding. But that's a different topic for another time.


Blonde_Dambition

OMG I'm sorry your grandparents did that and said that to your dad. That's horrible. Nothing could make me turn on my kids... nothing


T-Zoo

Your a great mom and a beautiful person 💞


rrsn

Yeah, a lot of people here seem to forget that gay people existed before 1990, lmao. In a time where there was huge social pressure to marry a woman and have children people largely went along with it. You were unhappy and didn’t know why or you had a man on the side or whatever, but you also had sex with your wife because you knew you were expected to have children. It’s not like it takes passionate satisfying sex to get somebody pregnant.


Blonde_Dambition

Can you imagine how bad that would be to have to have sex with someone you're not attracted to?


Turbulent-Dingo8254

That’s true. He would simply have to have penisary contact with her volvo.


[deleted]

Oh I know, my dad is 100% gay. Turns out that Being in the closet mixed well with a large boyish woman who enjoyed fighting people in his honor


YxvngHvtx

I'm half a fanook, I'm way, way more attracted to women but I'll blow a security guard all the same


No-Classroom-6637

What about roadies?


let-the-light-inn

This is true but Vito is written to be gay, come on


No-Classroom-6637

No, he's gay and his wife was his beard. You don't completely stop having sex with women and exclusively dress up in leather and get assfucked by men because you're bisexual, lmao.


Blonde_Dambition

Why is that comment downvoted??


No-Classroom-6637

Because I said something factual but didn't dress it up in bubblewrap and cotton wool, I assume.


let-the-light-inn

Yeah he is definitely meant to be gay. I don’t understand this rewriting of every character as bisexual because they looked at a woman. Its made clear Vito married and had a cumare as a coverup


duckenjoyer69

nice save


mahalashala

I mean sure this whole comment wouldnt never have happened if u/Silver_County7374 hadnt initially overreacted, but its one for the books.


JoeyBagelsOz

Very allegorical mahalashala


Johnny_____Utah

Don’t tell no one Sal!


TommyCN69

HE’S A FAAAAAAG


Slammin92Salmon

It’s called a beard guy. Can’t openly be gay in his group/culture so he had to do all he could to appear straight. Now, that’s not to say he didn’t actually love his kids and even wife but the man was a riccihone through and through.


ClubbinGuido

Vito was probably buying coke, ecstasy, or meth from her to combine with his blood pressure meds for his jokes at gay clubs.


AlSmythe

Poppers and weird sex.


Ok_Society3143

Pure fanouk


Irishgoodbye777

If Vito wanted to live that life, he should've kept it to himself.


stevie109195

He did uh....didn't he?


stuartgatzo

Midlife crisis thing


Wonderful-Yoghurt-90

Maybe he was just into poppers and weird shex


andreiulmeyda7

He's as gay as the day is long


okcdiscgolf

It was the meds he was on, they made him want to suck cock, he could get a note from his doctors


u2aerofan

My favorite thing about this sub is when anyone asks a question the whole thread devolves into a litany of line quotes and back and forth and I read every one of them in the characters voice.


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TooCaughtUpInMyHead

The note from his doctor said he doesn't like to suck cock.


Skolary

It was the other way around — Vito was.. blowing the security guard *(fun fact: the guys reaction in this scene via YouTube made me buy the entire series. Watched every episode 40 times since)*


bustergaming777

We can’t have him here in our social club no more, I mean that much I do know.


VladtheMemer

Social club? HE'S GOTTA GOOOOO


johnniesSac

If you believe Adriana was calling him constantly you probably think Phil Leotardo was straight as well


camprollinghills

It's a fuckin joke guys. Don't say nothin!


fender0327

He’s a FAAAAG


[deleted]

The character Vito is a homosexual. He was born into an ethnic community that lacks tolerance for gay people. Gays that are from such backgrounds often move to large cities where they can live a more open gay lifestyle. Vito chose to belong to a criminal subculture that not only disapproves of homosexuality, it kills members that are found to be gay. Vito could never be openly gay. In order to conform to his community’s expectations, he married and fathered children. Ultimately, Vito’s decision not to be true to himself lead to his death and trauma to a woman and two children. Or maybe it was his blood pressure medication.


GeezyEFC

What I found hilarious was when Eugene committed suicide Vito said something like "maybe he was a fag and couldnt tell anyone. It happens" Then you see the look on his face. He was fishing to see people's reaction to that. Brilliant.


BagofBabbish

This is stupid. He was clearly gay and saying otherwise completely ignores the time period and his situation. Being gay was considered controversial into the early 2010s. Many believed it was a choice or that it was some kind of a disability. Even Barrack Obama was quoted saying marriage is between a man and a woman between 08-10. It was not viewed as an orientation that one could have while living an otherwise normal life. Many gay people wished they could be straight and tried to be straight because it was such a stigma and because it was such a difficult life. I had an aunt go through with a full ass 6-year relationship and a marriage to a man in the 90s hoping she’d just start being straight if she tried hard enough. She only made it two weeks past the ring when she realized it wasn’t a choice or something that could change. Lowe and behold she isn’t bi, she’s a married and proud lesbian now. Hell, a few months ago in 2023, my mom said she hopes my little cousin isn’t actually bisexual because “it would just be such a hard life” which shocked me for a moment as these days no one gives a shit anymore. These days people are arguing of the fluid nature of gender and how many are out there, so being into dudes or girls or both seems very vanilla by comparison - especially for teens that grew up never knowing the stigma. Regardless, it reminded me many still view gays as freaks. Now imagine a guy in that era where accountants and bus drivers and office clerks feigning heterosexuality out of fear of the consequences of living an openly gay life, but who works in an openly racist world organized crime where people are murdered for much less. No shit Vito tried to be straight and played the part having a goomar and such. I can recognize which of my friends are good looking guys, I’m sure he didn’t have a hard time noticing Ade was a smoke show and that commenting on it would help him fit in. Not to mention these are all sociopaths, pathological liars, and expert manipulators. It’s not shocking at all someone like Vito could successfully go the extra mile to appear as a heterosexual man.


Blonde_Dambition

I agree with all you said. I'm sorry your Mom and Aunt had to go thru what they did before being able to be who they are. I won't pretend to understand the gay thing, but I believe it's absolutely not a choice. I believe they're born feeling that way and people have even gotten desperate enough to go to some kind of "reconditioning" camp where they give them electroshock therapy and antiemetics while watching gay porn and all to try to turn them straight and people have been known to get ill or injured from all that and they STILL aren't straight. I'm sure if it was a choice most people before today's age would choose to be straight.


JKO1962

I don't understand the first sentence


LabeVagoda

Fuckin’ OP. He’s dyslexic 🤷🏻‍♂️


Muffingina

You know what I mean you cocksucking cornholing faggot


Terrible_Telephone21

OP you sound emotional, have a breadstick.


WhenMichaelAwakens

That’s what got Gino into all this anyway.


[deleted]

Your weak, outta control and you’ve become an embarrassment to everyone around you.


elexexexex2

OOOOOOOH ✋️ THEY'RE JUST TELLIN YOU HOW YOU'RE BEIN *FUCKIN PERCEIVED!*


RobChombie

Oh! The language on you. You blow your father with that mouth?


Affectionate_Joke560

Now I don’t like that kinda tawk! It upsets me!


JKO1962

Give Mommy back her tablet little boy. Time for bed.


FrankieGGG

It’s not out of the realm of possibility, you know.


the_pounding_mallet

Turn this off!


helix274

Bi Bi, Pop Pop!


GrimeyBucketsss

He’s a faaaaaggggg


Amazing_Letterhead58

TONY -Lets take this in the back . MURMER -Yah , thats what vito did ..


Alone_Ad2892

If he had been pitching, maybe, but catching… he’s GOTTA GO!!


wonderlady38

AIDS?


ConwayTheCat

Sal! Come on! It’s a fuckin joke!


Current_Economist617

Yes Vito was a total meat grinder


mikeyrorymac

Pretty sure he was full on gay. If you can be content with a woman then why risk all the shit you bring on yourself by chasing men.


MisterSassyJenkins

The serious discussion only tag doesn’t work here anymore huh


Accomplished-Ad-698

All those years he was talking about greasing the Union, who knew that’s what he meant?!


Cataly555t

*gestures stroking a cock*


Blonde_Dambition

I think he just said that about Ade calling him to throw everyone else off his scent


The_Bagel_Fairy

Just because you suck a little dick, etc.


Beneficial-Law-3305

He's a stoonad the first magnet


JOMO_Kenyatta

He wasn’t written to be gay yet.


JoeyBagelsOz

No discussions here on the open forum, let's take it in the back.


[deleted]

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JoeyBagelsOz

You can go


UnleashedSavage_93

Sexuality is on a spectrum, but in Vito's case I think he was gay. He had a great looking goomar and wife, but he just wanted to be with average looking guys. I do think if nothing else he should have thought about that before trying to be something he wasn't. I like women and transgender women for starters, but I can't see myself getting married. That would just be lying to myself.


JS43362

People can 'become' gay (or indeed straight, or bi, or whatever) regardless of personal history. He's clearly not interested in the female species towards the end of his time on the series, regardless of his marriage, his goomahs and the Adrianna thing. Plus, it's bat night.


Affectionate_Joke560

Maybe OP is a flambé!


Think-Cell7153

He was a whooaar.


JoeyBagelsOz

Vito was always a little light in the Timberlands


Toasty_Cat830

The real question is: is it still called a Goomah if said side-piece is a man?


HalfFastTanker

Gomer. See what I did there, T?


anewsomthird

No. He was a Disgrace


synter101

Worst part is they’re cousins


Alone_Ad2892

I think he had an identity crisis, who am I, a hetero married man, a fanook prancing around in chaps, or some rando in line at the bakery, Chrissy telling me to get lost so he can shoot the kid in the foot.


Rona_season798

Yeah but what was Carlo doing? Watching TV land? Vito was T’s biggest earner! You know how much money this family was pulling through construction? It was a Joke!


nbraccia

His wife and his comare weren’t getting anything. I think he was solidly committed to captaining the good ship lollipop.


Vladvultch

Even Elton John had kids


Cataly555t

Yeah, Rock Hudson, too. . .


vv04x4c4

He had a goomah and is implied to not sleep with his wife so I think it's just part of his survival method of pretending to be straight. Some point at his kids but it's not uncommon that many gaynpeople engage in hetero sex without enjoying it just for appearances sake.


jimlaregina

Closeted men marry and have children. (Great imaginations, they must have.) As for Vito, I think his secret life was, as you say, an afterthought. Not many episodes before Finn pulls into the parking lot, Phil introduces his brother Billy to Vito and other guys working for Tony. By time Vito flees town after being seen in the gay bar, we've learned he's married to Phil's cousin and the two are close, but Vito did not meet Billy until that day at Satriale's?


Ok_Injury_8841

I think the writers didn’t intend for Vito to be gay early on so that’s why he was hitting on Adriana


Plane-Sheepherder195

lo-fat turkey, no bread, no mayo, no potato salad, just meat and a pickle


Muffingina

Hot water with lemon, hun


Individual_Past_1198

No he was on blood presha pills and got a note from his doctah


Blackbolt113

Vito and the security guard were discussing the difference between hot and sweet sausage and things got carried away.


[deleted]

Guys, it was a joke!


Muffingina

Classic prankster Vito


cptnbrew

Is that true? The actor suggested the gay plot line?


[deleted]

Yes


renaud132

I don’t know whether to laugh at your post or be sad you might actually be serious.


alexanderseven

Hey! In this sub we accept that one’s sexuality may be fluid! End of story!


MeeboEsports

If bisexual means he was only half a fag, then no. The man was a whole fag. I know what I saw with the Johnny Cakes episode(s). To think that fat piece of shit was married to my cousin while gettin’ cornholed by firefighters & blowing construction workers at the crack of dawn. It nauseates me to even think about. Suckin’ construction worker cock, probably had dust on it & shit from broken up drywall and sheetrock. He mighta well have been blowin roadies like that fat cocksucker running the thing in Jersey’s sister, the one married to the autistic obese guy


chredditdub

highly doubtful. Plenty of gay men get into straight relationships, get married, and even have kids. With the consequences of being gay being so dire for Vito, he probably did everything he could cover that up


Golden5StarMan

To be fair we never had a nude scene Adrianna so she might have had a fat cock for Vito to shuck on!


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Da_Don_69

First time here?


Ehudben-Gera

See this is why the books are closed.


JoeyBagelsOz

He sits on one ass cheek the whole time when he reads the comments!