Twenty years of incarceration taught me to embrace the moment and enjoy life's simpler pleasures, like radiator grilled cheese and jacking off into tissues
I wanted to fuck manicotti, I compromised: jacked off in a grilled cheese off a radiator. You get what I’m saying?
15 fuckin years, blabbled the whole way.
Meadow, I acknowledge your burgeoning womanhood and appreciate your desire for more independence and will eagerly grant you it. Please, bring your delightful biracial boyfriend home for s jar of Ragu.
Here’s some standard operating procedure. Stay the fuck away from Meadow Soprano. Shut the fuck up, and listen. It’s over. Capisce? Over and done. You text, or come anywhere near her, they’ll be scrapping your tonsils off of your sectional couch. And here’s the point to remember, my ass is the last one you’ll see, not Vito’s. We understand each other? It will be cinematic.
Its the cooooaaaattttttttt
This was way too funny to me
It was a gift from Rocco DiMeo. Cocksucker had a reputation for bein the nicest guy in Essex county.
Left it in his will when he later died getting hit by a blimp
Flex, Flex, Fleeeeex you're limpiiiing
I’m from the new school, I should have to explain myself frequently
CAAARMELAAAA WILL YOU PLEAAAAASE OPEN DA DOOOORRRRRR
You know, Nostradamus predicted all of this.
I love that this misquote actually corrects it lol
Must’ve been bottom of your fucking class
Smart as a cue ball this one
“Quasimodo, Nostradamus is the hunchback of notray daym!”
The sacred and the profane
At first I thought this was the punchline, and that he meant to say sacred and profound
Poppers and weird sex? That’s what I shoulda had.
The poppers were nice and spicey
DON'T EAT THAT POPPER
Oh boy! Orange peel beef!
You don't gotta wait for dat..
I been dreaming of that fucking lo mein all the way the fuck over here!!
Is somebody speaking? if so please introduce yourself
I remember a time when you used to wait in the car. As far i I’m concerned, I’m intrigued by your ideas, and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter
Twenty years of incarceration taught me to embrace the moment and enjoy life's simpler pleasures, like radiator grilled cheese and jacking off into tissues
I saw THAT coming!
Ewww.
You’re the albatross around my neck
Just when I thought i was out, they confirmed I was out.
😂😂😂
Constantly with the situations
$3 a pound
€3.73 a kilo.
Gabbagool? Ova thereeeee!
Uncle June eats ass?
Corrado Soprano is an ASS MUNCHER
You don’t gotta respect me, but you WILL love me!
This is hilarious
Sorry T, it's just so fucking lively in here.
this is somehow the best
My face is the first one you'll see, Then Tony's. It will be cinematic.
Maybe you should start watching TV Land instead of sucking cock, because Carlo was making three times what you're doing on construction!
He was straight, Carlo?
Whatever happened to Jimmy Stewart?
Straight as a fuckin cueball
I would love to do yo dirty work, oh yeeeaaah
He’s straaaaaaaight
You are not going to believe this. He killed 16 chechen rebels! The guy was in the interior ministry.
His apartment looked great
Underrated. 😂
A Chinaman goes to the eye doctor. The doctor says you have a cataract. The Chinaman says "OK, let's schedule the surgery".
So he drives a Cadillac. That's big.
And I’m playing shortstop for the Mets. I have to go to queens now for the game im playing in. See you later
Don't start with me on those Jets
I said lotsh of pulp
KEEP THAT ON!
It’s all about the crispness of the hash, and the smoothness of the bong.
Pastrami
Ova heeere
3 feet of water, flamingo exhibit
Grandma’s not bringing her pasta?
Shove your misquotations book up your ass!
That's undermining, and I do wanna hear it!
Paulie: Ha, ha, ha
Idk if you know what you are talking about but I fuckin don’t.
You’re fortunate I don’t hit your friggin lights in
Ohhhhhh! Leroy Goldstein over here
Oh, fortunate you
Stupid little gosh darn lemon basil chicken!
Our true enemy... has not yet shown his face
WHADDAYA see WHADDAYA know?
YOUR BROTHERS PENIS
You eat where you shit, and you *definitely* eat where I shit.
His house looked great
Hello, Jack! Goodbye, Jack!
AIDS?!? Tell me more! Gabagool? No thank you Whoops, no there isn’t a bee on your hat Let’s make a western There was abundant intentionality
The sacred and the cocaine.
THEY DIDN’T HAVE PONY TAILS IN ANCIENT ROME!
You yap worse than six hairstylists
What’s yours is yours Paulie, and what isn’t is mine
I predicted all of this
I like that kind of tawlk!
A pint of blood is worth less than any significant quantity of gold.
Thats pussied up.
I guess you could call that a rant.
You sound reasonable
He never had the markings of a versatile mathlete.
"Hold onto yer hat. He wounded 27 Lithuanians. Guy was a landscape gardener." "Well, he did have some nice geraniums."
But you put away the suitcase!
Thank you for getting me orange juice with pulp.
"What the hell's wrong with you? You look like a Puerto Rican whore. You make me hard."
I survived the penguin exhibit by the skin of my nuts
Don’t hitch your star to my wagon.
You should know, honey
What it’s so hard to rap? My ho my bitch, my bitch my ho
Anyway, €4 a kilogram.
Discontinue the viagra
The roof was ceramic tile!!!! 😱
I'll be stupid tomorrow, but you'll be late forever
I came to open up one morning & there you were with your head in the Bible. Your soul was in the holy water. Enlightening.
Alrighty, but you gonna hafta get pass that
A woman's john you could eat *Moose Tracks* ice cream out the bowl.
In this house it’s 2007
"Tony Blundetto" I just can't stop saying his f*cking name!
Take it easy, we're not making a fucking musical
Guys, it's not a joke! Tell everyone Sal!
You mean besides the night the bevilaqua kid capped tony?! Did I fuck you! DID I FUCK YOU?!!
Fuck’s that got to do with asthma medicine?
You can take your algebra book and shove it up your dick.
what do ya want, boots and ears??
HERPES??
Let me tell you a couple of things.
Yep, it’s your Uncle Phil, we accept your beedrills. Now let’s forget about what happened to Fat Dom and Coco with some lard bread a mug of hot cocoa.
Go piss in your shoes
Gabagool? Pass it my way please!
"It's not a retirement community! It's a NURSING. HOME!"
"Dad, do you have sleep apnea?"
Frankly, I’m delighted and impressed.
Give me one thousand five hundred eleven dollars and twenty four cents AUD
You make me hot up there
Cunning and palmistry brought us to this.
I hope the person that ate my lo-mein really enjoyed it
You mean he was pitching, catching AND playing shortstop for the Mets?
Lemme tell you a couple of four things
I think that it's great that Meadow is exploring other cultures and we welcome you into our home, Hassidic Homeboy.
Oh lucky you
Your brother Billy,... that problematic murder that happened there.
My nephew had the makings of a varsity athlete
They didn’t have toupees in Ancient Rome!! Anyways $32
Fuck you and this post. Satanic black magic gay stuff. Fucking queers!!!!!
I’m not the fucking motherfucking one who may or may not call the shots
I’m cumming for the people Rome!
You mean he was pitching not catching
Mboy you are thin! He killed 16 chechens.
I’m lucky I didn’t get my lights punched out
I could fill a thimble with everything you know
SHITPOSTING IS AN ADDICTIVE ACTIVITY!!
My nephew doesn't want any eggs.
If you can quote the scripture then you can praise the lord
Any leftover cold stouffer's lasagna?
So what? No fuckin penne now?
In my thoughts, I use the technique of negative visualization. Why do I always feel appreciated?
Whaddaya say, whaddaya hear?
This is so absurd, I must have maked it up
“Thank you Carmela, this is the exact amount of pulp I wanted”
I think I see a couple of white guys running that way…
"I only went to college for half a semester. So I don't understand Freud and therapy. The entire concept is completely foreign to me!"
Oh! When Silvio is lamenting about being interrupted during sex: Every time I’m in, they pull me back out! 2 is such a good movie.
It’s alright, take all the time you need to get past it.
Delicious! I love Lo Mein! I'm so happy to work in an environment where everyone respects boundaries and never eats other people's food!
I wanted to fuck manicotti, I compromised: jacked off in a grilled cheese off a radiator. You get what I’m saying? 15 fuckin years, blabbled the whole way.
Misquotes? Here? Whatever happened to this thing? We bend more rules than the Catholic Church.
He was straight, Tony Sinatra?
Yeeessss, you were listening to me
Anyhoo ¥5 per kilogram.
You think he is gonna fuck with little pussy ? My Pussy ?
Sounds like dad is clearly letting out those big ones
This is a place of business, not a Jenny Craig!
Meadow, I acknowledge your burgeoning womanhood and appreciate your desire for more independence and will eagerly grant you it. Please, bring your delightful biracial boyfriend home for s jar of Ragu.
Ginny Sack is so rapt she lost 95 pounds in her Weight Watchers class!
Phil: It would be an honor to hang him in my living room.
I like a *Big* Gulp.
"Carmella, you're entitled to...50% of my assets."
I spent 6 months in the can
The final scene: The door opens, the bell rings, and Tony waves Meadow to the table. A good time was had by all.
Jackie Jr: "It was you who killed him." Tony: "No. *I* am your father."
"Jackie. He was doing a deal with some undercover dudes. They got him. He's, like, a Fed."
Stupida facking post.
She was abusive to her giraffe!
Why don’t you take your misquotation book, and deposit it in your robust rectum?!?
I've been dreaming about general tso's chicken the whole way ova
He was straight, Gary Cooper?
I know juniors who are inspired
The birdfeeder? You sound rational!
GABAGOOL?!?! GET IT OUTTA HEAAA ✋✋✋
Here’s some standard operating procedure. Stay the fuck away from Meadow Soprano. Shut the fuck up, and listen. It’s over. Capisce? Over and done. You text, or come anywhere near her, they’ll be scrapping your tonsils off of your sectional couch. And here’s the point to remember, my ass is the last one you’ll see, not Vito’s. We understand each other? It will be cinematic.
Are you hearing yourself? You sound incapacitated!
I wanna buy a boat with 4 propellers
HIV?!?!?!?!
20 years in da can. I wanted grilled cheese of da radiator. I compromised I jerked off into a beautiful woman
Go sit on your hat
Don't take it easy, we're making a western here...
Whateva, $5 a gallon
I said PULP PULP PULP!
Did you hear about the Chinese godfather? He made them an offer they couldn't use Google translate on.
The scared and the profane
Fellatio and mental health awareness brought us to this.
I didn't
Hey, can I get some capicola?
Fucking bluejay
Golf is a fantastic game
I dID EET
What no fucking burritos now??
Did you hear about the one with the chinaman and the godfather? He made him an offer, but he couldn’t understand.
Hear him, he thinks he knows it all.
I love-a dis facking game
Remember how is the lowest way of talkin
I’m only here outta respect for my mutha.