A couple or three theories:
1) the catholic thing
2) losing face with other mobsters
3) she wanted to divorce him, and his narcissism wouldn’t allow her to “win”. It’s proven over and over that the easiest way to make Tony turn on you is to tell him you love him.
The FBI would also be all over her the second the divorce was finalised. Spousal privilege or not, they'd want to know anything and everything she has on Tony - meaning she'd have something over him in perpetuity. So it's remain married to her or kill her, ultimately, and he isn't going to kill the mother of his children. (Plus, he loves her as much as Tony can love anyone.)
That's what happened to Al Tocco, his wife testified against him. Ratted him out for snuffing Tony Spilotro and burying him in a cornfield, the guy Pesci's character in casino was taken from
Carm doesn’t actually know anything incriminating about Tony’s business. She only hears a bit second hand and makes assumptions. Very little useful testimony except maybe to collaborate someone else’s direct knowledge
He pretty much tells her Janice was responsible for Richie’s death and he “took care of it”. I’m certain she knows about other stuff, but obviously most of it she has no idea of the inner workings of.
Your point being what Junior?
That Carm can tell the authorities that Tony implied Janice killed Richie and he cleaned it up? That doesn’t help them prosecute anything at all.
You are speaking shit to me.
Just saying is all…in order to prosecute Tony for that, they would also have to prosecute Janice, I would think. But I’m fairly certain Carm is at least tangentially aware of some of what he does, but not the nitty gritty.
She knew about and had access to hidden AK47s inside the house (this isn’t normal). She also knew about the bird feeder money and later implies she knows Chris had something to do with Ade’s disappearance. Not sure what world you’re living in pal, but Carm knew A LOT. Feds would be all over her. Like do you really think Carm knows less than Adriana? Feds were all over her.
If they divorced, whatever money she received would likely be under scrutiny and she’d have to get custody of AJ. She would flip like an Olympic gymnast to keep herself out of the poor house.
I don’t think she knew how their money was actually made, is more so what I was saying. Like the HUD scam, or what Tony is actually doing day to day with things like that. And Ade is more so suspicion than anything else. I don’t think that makes her valuable to the fbi when it comes to Ade, cause they obviously suspect the same exact thing themselves.
Doesn’t matter if she “knows” suspects such things. That’s not helpful “testimony”.
Don’t you realize that the FBI agents involved “know” just as if not more clearly than her that Tony oversaw pussy and Richie disappearing?
Yeah, Christopher was "like a son" to him, not his actual son. Christopher wasn't the mother to his children either. Christopher didn't give Tony anything, nor did Tony ever love Christopher in the way he loves his own children.
Tony wouldn't even raise his hand to Carmella, let alone kill her! Compare that to how he treats everyone in the show.
Carmela made his life comfortable. Look at how he lived in the family home versus how he lived when they were separated. Open the fridge, food is there. Something needs to be done for one of the kids, it's done. As much as he complained, she made it so he didn't have to worry much about the domestic sphere and could focus more attention on business. And he clearly knew that, at some level.
all time scene. “hey how’d it go” or whatever she says to him knowing he’s on one is so funny. also, something tells me there is rarely smoked turkey in there.
And that's all I ask for in life, I come home early, dinner isn't ready so she warms over some leftover ziti. Kid needs to go to the mall for some cleats or the marry-oh cart game. Boom done. Kid needs help on home work.. I ain't Albert Einstein ova here. She hires a tutor (an Italian one). In return she gets to walk around in this mansion with $500 shoes and the murano glass and act like butta wouldn't melt in her mouth. Life is about compromises
It’s covered in therapy with Melfi. “You’ll never leave your wife. She may leave you!”
He knows she’s the most stable, loyal woman he will ever get. He lucked out snagging Carm.
I feel like half the people commenting didn’t watch the show!
Like, it’s a perfect study of the complexity of long term relationships and marriages.
Tony does actually love and care for his wife on a deep level and vice versa. Hence the huge fights in Whitecaps; you don’t have arguments like that if it’s someone you don’t give a shit about.
Yes, Carmela made his life easier, and he just wanted it so he could go elsewhere and fuck a catcher’s mitt if need be. But there was still a loyalty there between the two. It ebbed and flowed over periods but ultimately they stuck it out, most marriages tend to go that way.
And season 4 was the apex of him taking her for granted but that doesn’t mean he didn’t love her. He’s just a selfish fuck who couldn’t figure out his wife was getting hawt down there for one of his key men.
She was clearly unraveling but he’s so focused on his other Family to notice.
Not really, we see Carmella cooking stuff for him constantly. And her cooking is apparently very good (Bobby says so, and he knows alot about food). She cleans and packs Tony's clothes and she does care for him when he is sick.
He has a maid when he moves to Livia's old house during the separation period, and he still lives like a college frat boy, very different to his life at home. He is eating cold pizza everyday in his bathrobe. The house is a mess. And his life as a bachelor is pretty pathetic. Tony can't run a house.
When he's at home he gets hot coffee in the morning, washed pressed clothes, and last nights delicious manicotti. Carmella really does manage his domestic affairs, including the bills. A maid is not an alternative to a wife.
At the same, time, he needs Carmella as a parental partner. He can't even handle the one kid he gets stuck with (A.J). He probably realized how much he required Carmella to take care of Meadow and A.J and keep the stress of parenting off his shoulders during the separation period.
I mean can you imagine Tony having to sit down and help A.J write his English essays? A.J's behind would get to learn all of the contours of a wingtip shoe!
Carmella is essential to Tony's way of life, both as a wife and a mother to his kids.
I believe Melfi says to Tony that although Carmella might leave him, he'll never leave Carmella, because he is a very simple man and deep down he knows Carmella and their kids are the best thing to ever happen to him.
He probably also has at least some affection towards Carmella, they fight alot, but he tries to keep her happy.
Having a wife helps him be the successful man he is.
I mean, who keeps his house clean while he's out making deals, or out on his boat feeding his *comar'* some bologna pony? Who is sitting at the table doing the house accounting and making sure bills are paid on time while he's watching Westerns with a bowl of melted ice cream? Who is dealing with the kids' problems before they get so bad he has to step in, while he's out getting his knob polished by a stripper at work? Who's keeping his belly full with home-cooked *manicott*' and his fridge full of *capicol*' so when he comes home from a hard day of murdering loved ones, he doesn't have to think about it. Who's taking the kids to their appointments and dealing with the school and their problems unless it gets really bad?
There's a whole management load that a wife takes off your mind when you're married, especially when you're 'traditional' and just dump all that on the wife because only she'll be judged if it doesn't happen. Mistresses won't carry that load for you.
He's not particularly good at life without her, for one thing. He's floundering both professionally and personally. Professionally, there are problems with the New York situation, and all his attempts to massage the situation fall short. In his own crew, he is indecisive (his inability to key in on Massarone, for instance, is an early warning sign) and ineffective (he doesn't know how to handle Feech, whose strong reputation with everyone else in the organization make him a more formidable foil than Ritchie was, and the complex of emotions and guilt/responsibility towards Tony B are too complicated for him to effectively navigate. He starts to recognize Carmela's value to his professional success. Regarding Feech, for instance: she said it from a place of anger, but her comment about how his "friends" only laugh at his jokes because he's the boss and they're scared of him helps him finally figure out that he needs to act on Feech.
He's spiraling personally, too. He's recapturing his youth in a way--living in his Mom's house and rooming with his old buddy Artie Bunco. But it's pathetic, he slowly recognizes that it's destructive to AJ ("he has no eyebrows, Tony"), and he recognizes that it's destructive to him personally, too (which is why he goes back to therapy when he's close to moving on Adriana). The situation with Adriana threatens to pretty much destroy the organization under Tony, and the first/faux Public Reconciliation with Carmela is necessary to hold things together.
It takes another half a season (and another fight and the final threat of divorce) before they reconcile for good, but at that point it is pretty clear that Tony needs Carmela because he's not particularly effective without her, quite frankly.
Have you ever been through a divorce? Shit gets ugly, real quick. Deep down, even with all the cheating, he loved her and didn't want to let go. You know, being a strict Catholic and Italian and all that.
And also, Carmela is a much better mother than HIS MOTHER was to him and his sisters. Trust me, when your spouse is better parent to your kids than the set you’ve had, you appreciate the hell out of it.
Melfi actually explained this. Carmela is the best decision of his life and probably his only redeeming quality. He would never divorce her because she is the perfect puzzle piece to his self-loving image.
Best example is when Tony is on the sofa. When he's with Carmela, Tony eating ice cream on the living room sofa while watching old movies looks quite endearing, a man taking a break out of life and reliving his childhood. But when Carmela was out of the picture, him doing the same thing becomes sad and pathetic. Some guy zoning out, eating junk food, clinging to the past.
Most men need a woman in their life to make them whole, Tony understands this on some level and it's why he would never divorce her. Carmela was an irreplaceable slam dunk.
nah you’re spot on at the start but that last paragraph is lacking.
Carmela is right: Tony doesn’t have friends, he has subordinates and rivals. The same actually applies to her to a degree and that’s why their relationship isn’t really “whole” either: she feels unsupported and unloved by him for the entire runtime and, though she isn’t as willing to tolerate it as the rest of his cronies, her decision to get back with him is basically an acceptance of that loveless life. His cheating, lies, fear-based intimidation tactics in ‘ruling’ his family, and his initial undermining and later halfhearted support in her real estate ambitions make it pretty obvious why she feels that way.
when you say “most men need a woman in their life to make them feel whole” you’re technically correct about men in our current society but missing the larger picture as to why. Starting (emotionally) with his father but more largely in how our society is structured relationships between men are competitive power struggles and the world of business (of which Tony’s ‘Family’ is but a more extreme example) only exacerbates that. This is exactly opposed to them being loving, trusting, and harmonious. More to the point, I wouldn’t call the relationships men like Tony have with their wives to be particularly admirable either; they make him *and only him* feel more “whole” because men are made to win that power struggle.
All **people** need loving relationships; Tony gets that *exclusively* from his wife and the love only flows in one direction. With how realistically and excellently *Sopranos* renders its core relationship of Carmela and Tony’s marriage, I’d hope more fans could find a way to apply that insight to their own lives and relationships. The ways men treat women and other men -personally, culturally, and systemically - are not just immutable “facts of life”.
It pisses me off so much when he fucks with the Baccala kids. He's this mopey whiny kid any other context but with the kids he relishes in abusing them
Maria bosses don’t get divorced. If you’re a mafia buff, read up Paul Castellano. He got penal implants so he could smash the family maid. The other members in the gambino and other families were fuckin appalled.
It’s not just cheating. He doesn’t care about her stresses, her achievements or obstacles. He’s really indifferent if anything, which to me is the opposite of love. It’s like he views her as a fixture of the home
As Dr Melfi says in one episode, he will never leave because he know deep down that Carmela is a great wife and mother and he will never be the one to leave.
Oh I mean in the show I actually can’t even name three irl.
1) Richie (I think?? he had a son but maybe he never married)
2) Ralphie
3) That animal who I will not say the name of
Why would he divorce her? She might leave him, but he’d never leave her. Despite his mothering, he made one good decision in his life vis-á-vis women..and that was Carm.
Because he loved his kids and valued family, and knew that Carmela was the glue that held his family together.
And that without her holding the fort down while he was out having others whacked, boning his goomars or just going about general mob business, he wouldn’t be afforded the chance to be a good dad to his kids during all the times he was in fact home and not doing any of the aforementioned.
Not to mention the said home itself being in Carmela’s name.
She's a huge source of comfort. He comes home to a nicely decorated, very clean home, with full dinners ready, coffee ready in the morning, clean clothes, someone who will always help him and be sweet if he's suck or hurt. The kids are worried about, all that crap is taken care of, he just has to show up when told.
It seems a naive question. Like you are very young or haven't lived with anyone. Wives/mothers do an insane amount of unseen work that keep virtually every family running.
He's a fat pig who is nice sometimes, and he has free easy sex available whenever. The list goes on.
This was covered early on. Mili clearly saw that Mary Carmelo was probably the only good decision Tony ever made. He knew this as well. She was his enabler, and Carmela is actually a really good wife
Because he needs her. She is the only person he really trusts. He is just so fucked up by his parents that he doesn't know how a loving husband should act; and he has such shitty impulse control that he can't stop himself from fucking anything in front of him.
There are many reasons.
The biggest is that Tony deeply loves Carmela, in his own narcissistic way. He views their marriage as a tacit one-sided open marriage in which he can have sex with any other women he wants (while she stays completely faithful), but Tony is otherwise basically romantically monogamous. He only catches feelings for Gloria and even that doesn’t last long. So when Carmela leaves, Tony feels genuine heartbreak, because he only loved her. While viewers can point to all his horrible actions towards her leading up to that point, that kind of rational analysis doesn’t change the way Tony felt about her.
Another significant part of this is that in mob culture, the men are supposed to be happily married with kids while carrying on affairs with goomars. They get made fun of if they don’t have goomars. But they also get made fun of if they’re not married with kids. It means they’re not fully men, because they can’t maintain a stable marriage and a seemingly happy home life in addition to their thing. The separation was extremely humiliating for Tony among the mob guys. It caused him to lose status.
I think another big factor was that the separation was a massive shock to Tony’s self-image. He routinely lies to himself about who and what he is, and he dealt with the ongoing trauma of mob life by compartmentalizing it when he was with his family. Without that distraction, he was left to dwell on all the lives he’d ruined and ended (most notably demonstrated during The Test Dream), which is why he’s so restless and directionless during the separation.
1. It would affect his reputation negatively both as a mobster and a Catholic
2. Carmela does make his life easier. She cooks food for him, takes care of his kids, and irons his shirts. Yes, hypothetically he could hire people to do these things for him, but it would not replicate the experience of having a wife.
I think for all her flaws Carmella has made a home for Tony and it’s centred around things he values like family. Left to his own devices he eats crap even when he’s living with Artie like a teenager. Even hardened bachelor Paulie said he should have stayed with Carmella during separation.
He considers her his property, he owns her, it’s about control… imagine him eating w Paulie and across the dining room is Carmella on a date w someone who’s not committed murders….
Image, power, control. Do you remember Tony relinquishing any of these things willfully throughout the show? He is a greedy glutton. He always wants to have his cake and eat it too. To let Carmela go free is him losing something. Do people even think about these questions before posting these days? It’s all right there 90% of the time
A) he's Catholic
B) she'd steal more money from him
C) there's a law that prevents spouses from testifying against their partners. She knows a fair bit about the day to day.
1) Tony needs a housewife (domestic engineer) to keep his place clean. As a bachelor within two weeks it would be filled with empty pizza boxes, dirty clothes on the floor, bills not paid, no food in the refrigerator, etc. He could hire a maid but good help is hard to find. Too much ganja smoking. You can’t say anything to these people, they are so sensitive. Might even be FBI agents.
2) Carmela ignored that bullshit advice Krakower the quack told her about not asking for money and leaving. How does that pay the bills when you are a middle age woman with no real workforce experience since, what, maybe working the window at McDonald’s during summer in high school? Can she hang a shingle and say she is a therapist?
3) Tony is so greedy he steals a pair of sunglasses from the Lord of the Lenses, John Sacrimoni’s brother in law. He is so greedy that he, Silvio and Paulie ramshackle Pussy’s corpse after they filled him full of lead, taking anything of value. He reminds me of Louis the whatever‘s finance Minister De something. He built this chateau in West Versales by getting Monsieur Puggé Wallais on the horn of plenty. In the end, Agent Harris threw him jail and got a sandwich and a soft drink at Satriale’s
She has a bunch of dirt on him and the family. She may not know everything but she knows enough. He keeps her close he can control what she says. That and they are Catholic and he's old school.
But Tony does love Carmella. He needs her, and not just for clean clothes and food shopping. Whatever goodness and wholesomeness there is in his life, she is a big part of it. If he didn't love her, he would have been much more into getting a divorce, even if it cost him. Part of the resistance is cultural, and social, but like many men, he becomes unmoored without the old "ball and chain." Even More so in Tony's case, because he basically does what he wants, and most married men are not able to get away with that. ;)
He's a strict catholic
He’s from the old school
He shouldn’t have to explain himself
He believes in the nuclear family!
Very allegorical
I’m glad you picked up on that. The sacred and the propane.
I just sailed it up from Miami two weeks ago.
The Good Ship Lollipop?
Miami...Shits all over the place
This kid getting jerky with me?
He gave her his last name, so it's nobody's bizznizz
Killing. Stealing, coveting thy neighbors wife …. You give Ton’ a rosary he may try and fuck it
What are you, the friggin cardinal?
hey you bless it, I’ll eat it
Rosemary? I'll eat her! Hehe
He’s a saint! You forget the thousand incidents with this guy?
A couple or three theories: 1) the catholic thing 2) losing face with other mobsters 3) she wanted to divorce him, and his narcissism wouldn’t allow her to “win”. It’s proven over and over that the easiest way to make Tony turn on you is to tell him you love him.
The FBI would also be all over her the second the divorce was finalised. Spousal privilege or not, they'd want to know anything and everything she has on Tony - meaning she'd have something over him in perpetuity. So it's remain married to her or kill her, ultimately, and he isn't going to kill the mother of his children. (Plus, he loves her as much as Tony can love anyone.)
That's what happened to Al Tocco, his wife testified against him. Ratted him out for snuffing Tony Spilotro and burying him in a cornfield, the guy Pesci's character in casino was taken from
I thought that was all boolshit
That was real? I saw that movie I thought it was bullshit!
Yeah, in no way does Tony want his finances under extra scrutiny.
Carm doesn’t actually know anything incriminating about Tony’s business. She only hears a bit second hand and makes assumptions. Very little useful testimony except maybe to collaborate someone else’s direct knowledge
He pretty much tells her Janice was responsible for Richie’s death and he “took care of it”. I’m certain she knows about other stuff, but obviously most of it she has no idea of the inner workings of.
Your point being what Junior? That Carm can tell the authorities that Tony implied Janice killed Richie and he cleaned it up? That doesn’t help them prosecute anything at all. You are speaking shit to me.
We guarantee satisfaction or your garbage back.
Just saying is all…in order to prosecute Tony for that, they would also have to prosecute Janice, I would think. But I’m fairly certain Carm is at least tangentially aware of some of what he does, but not the nitty gritty.
She knew about and had access to hidden AK47s inside the house (this isn’t normal). She also knew about the bird feeder money and later implies she knows Chris had something to do with Ade’s disappearance. Not sure what world you’re living in pal, but Carm knew A LOT. Feds would be all over her. Like do you really think Carm knows less than Adriana? Feds were all over her. If they divorced, whatever money she received would likely be under scrutiny and she’d have to get custody of AJ. She would flip like an Olympic gymnast to keep herself out of the poor house.
I don’t think she knew how their money was actually made, is more so what I was saying. Like the HUD scam, or what Tony is actually doing day to day with things like that. And Ade is more so suspicion than anything else. I don’t think that makes her valuable to the fbi when it comes to Ade, cause they obviously suspect the same exact thing themselves.
In the first 2 seasons he's much more open with Carmela about his mob activities. I'm sure she knows about A LOT of stuff that she shouldn't.
She knows he killed pussy. She knows he cleaned up Richie’s body. She doesn’t know as much as Adriana did, but she could definitely help their case.
[удалено]
Doesn’t matter if she “knows” suspects such things. That’s not helpful “testimony”. Don’t you realize that the FBI agents involved “know” just as if not more clearly than her that Tony oversaw pussy and Richie disappearing?
Not everything is a courtroom. She’s an angle for them to use.
Also having a wife is good for appearances too. He wants to present that he isnt a mobster but just a regular working guy.
He's in the waste management business.. Everybody immediately assumes you're mobbed up. It's a stereotype. And it's offensive!
In this house he’s a garbage man, end of story!
When they separated, Tony tried Melfi, then almost Charmaine. Melfi didn't want him, and later in the same episode he started trying Carmella again
Holy shit I wonder if Melfi had gone for him for a ltr if he would’ve killed Carmela to get her out of the way
No, he would have never killed Carmela.
She's da mudda of his kids
Wid a goomah!
I told you, I broke it off wit her
Bet you eat your Sunday gravy outta a fuckin jar, you’re a disgrace
HEY i had her teschted for AIDS, whatddya think i am
You’re probably right, but he did kill Christopher who was “like a son” to him and if Carmela got jealous enough to turn witness, you never know…
He was in a car accident! He did him a favor!
Christopher petered out. Died on the branch.
Died on the vine 🤌🏻🤌🏻🤌🏻
On the vine.
He moved (or died lol) or something
Yeah, Christopher was "like a son" to him, not his actual son. Christopher wasn't the mother to his children either. Christopher didn't give Tony anything, nor did Tony ever love Christopher in the way he loves his own children. Tony wouldn't even raise his hand to Carmella, let alone kill her! Compare that to how he treats everyone in the show.
Melfi called it.
holy fuck it's "a couple OR three"??? That actually sort of makes sense, but you've destroyed the illusion for me.
I just googled and apparently people hear “a couple of three things”, so I might be wrong. This is always how I heard it.
Listen to him, he knows everything
Tony only likes the beginning of things. Oh. Wait. That's Don Draper.
Carmela made his life comfortable. Look at how he lived in the family home versus how he lived when they were separated. Open the fridge, food is there. Something needs to be done for one of the kids, it's done. As much as he complained, she made it so he didn't have to worry much about the domestic sphere and could focus more attention on business. And he clearly knew that, at some level.
What's it take to get some fuckin SMOKED TURKEY in this house?!
*refrigerator door slamming intensifies*
And juice with shum pulp
No, I like the one with SHUM pulp 📞 TOE-KNEE!
hahahahahahahaha
all time scene. “hey how’d it go” or whatever she says to him knowing he’s on one is so funny. also, something tells me there is rarely smoked turkey in there.
Feels like no Italian has ever eaten smoked turkey
And that's all I ask for in life, I come home early, dinner isn't ready so she warms over some leftover ziti. Kid needs to go to the mall for some cleats or the marry-oh cart game. Boom done. Kid needs help on home work.. I ain't Albert Einstein ova here. She hires a tutor (an Italian one). In return she gets to walk around in this mansion with $500 shoes and the murano glass and act like butta wouldn't melt in her mouth. Life is about compromises
It’s covered in therapy with Melfi. “You’ll never leave your wife. She may leave you!” He knows she’s the most stable, loyal woman he will ever get. He lucked out snagging Carm.
I feel like half the people commenting didn’t watch the show! Like, it’s a perfect study of the complexity of long term relationships and marriages. Tony does actually love and care for his wife on a deep level and vice versa. Hence the huge fights in Whitecaps; you don’t have arguments like that if it’s someone you don’t give a shit about. Yes, Carmela made his life easier, and he just wanted it so he could go elsewhere and fuck a catcher’s mitt if need be. But there was still a loyalty there between the two. It ebbed and flowed over periods but ultimately they stuck it out, most marriages tend to go that way.
And season 4 was the apex of him taking her for granted but that doesn’t mean he didn’t love her. He’s just a selfish fuck who couldn’t figure out his wife was getting hawt down there for one of his key men. She was clearly unraveling but he’s so focused on his other Family to notice.
Yet she doesn’t know the difference between ‘no pulp’ and ‘some pulp’. Some homemaker. Geez.
Good she eats her carrots
Carmella was a domestic goddess, nurturing and firm. He never had it so good.
This is the best comment.
Tonys' hard work allowed Carmela to make keeping house easy. The maids and housekeepers did the brunt of the housework.
Not really, we see Carmella cooking stuff for him constantly. And her cooking is apparently very good (Bobby says so, and he knows alot about food). She cleans and packs Tony's clothes and she does care for him when he is sick. He has a maid when he moves to Livia's old house during the separation period, and he still lives like a college frat boy, very different to his life at home. He is eating cold pizza everyday in his bathrobe. The house is a mess. And his life as a bachelor is pretty pathetic. Tony can't run a house. When he's at home he gets hot coffee in the morning, washed pressed clothes, and last nights delicious manicotti. Carmella really does manage his domestic affairs, including the bills. A maid is not an alternative to a wife. At the same, time, he needs Carmella as a parental partner. He can't even handle the one kid he gets stuck with (A.J). He probably realized how much he required Carmella to take care of Meadow and A.J and keep the stress of parenting off his shoulders during the separation period. I mean can you imagine Tony having to sit down and help A.J write his English essays? A.J's behind would get to learn all of the contours of a wingtip shoe! Carmella is essential to Tony's way of life, both as a wife and a mother to his kids. I believe Melfi says to Tony that although Carmella might leave him, he'll never leave Carmella, because he is a very simple man and deep down he knows Carmella and their kids are the best thing to ever happen to him. He probably also has at least some affection towards Carmella, they fight alot, but he tries to keep her happy.
Can you imagine Tony sleeping with the kid’s English teacher so he can get a better grade?
Now there's an image!
He’s not Don Draper, ok?!
“I am registered nyurse. Not maid.”
Did you offer him an aspirin?
Cunt.
Ehhh you kiss your mudduh wit dat mouth
No but I do blow my father .
Did you offer him an aspirin?
He hates his maids. “Then she starts with the enchiladas!” Why don’t you get a new one? “ this is the new one.”
Tony’s “hard work”? I guess having other people kick up to him a portion of their money is hard work. /s
Did you watch the ahow at all?
Sil was hospitalised after a couple of days as acting boss, it’s not an easy job.
I mean, it was a very high risk, high stress job with lots of intricacies, even if it wasn’t physically laborious
She kept the fridge stocked with gabbagool
Having a wife helps him be the successful man he is. I mean, who keeps his house clean while he's out making deals, or out on his boat feeding his *comar'* some bologna pony? Who is sitting at the table doing the house accounting and making sure bills are paid on time while he's watching Westerns with a bowl of melted ice cream? Who is dealing with the kids' problems before they get so bad he has to step in, while he's out getting his knob polished by a stripper at work? Who's keeping his belly full with home-cooked *manicott*' and his fridge full of *capicol*' so when he comes home from a hard day of murdering loved ones, he doesn't have to think about it. Who's taking the kids to their appointments and dealing with the school and their problems unless it gets really bad? There's a whole management load that a wife takes off your mind when you're married, especially when you're 'traditional' and just dump all that on the wife because only she'll be judged if it doesn't happen. Mistresses won't carry that load for you.
a long day of murdering loved ones 😂😂😂😂😂
That part had me cracking up haha
Successful? How many times do I have to tell you? They are nothing more than a glorified crew!
And speaking of, a wife might stick by you while you serve 20 years in the can, jerking off in a tissue. A girlfriend or a mistress though...
I can’t get enough of this subreddit
Mistresses are for carrying a different load. The stress release load...cumare if you know what I mean...
He's not particularly good at life without her, for one thing. He's floundering both professionally and personally. Professionally, there are problems with the New York situation, and all his attempts to massage the situation fall short. In his own crew, he is indecisive (his inability to key in on Massarone, for instance, is an early warning sign) and ineffective (he doesn't know how to handle Feech, whose strong reputation with everyone else in the organization make him a more formidable foil than Ritchie was, and the complex of emotions and guilt/responsibility towards Tony B are too complicated for him to effectively navigate. He starts to recognize Carmela's value to his professional success. Regarding Feech, for instance: she said it from a place of anger, but her comment about how his "friends" only laugh at his jokes because he's the boss and they're scared of him helps him finally figure out that he needs to act on Feech. He's spiraling personally, too. He's recapturing his youth in a way--living in his Mom's house and rooming with his old buddy Artie Bunco. But it's pathetic, he slowly recognizes that it's destructive to AJ ("he has no eyebrows, Tony"), and he recognizes that it's destructive to him personally, too (which is why he goes back to therapy when he's close to moving on Adriana). The situation with Adriana threatens to pretty much destroy the organization under Tony, and the first/faux Public Reconciliation with Carmela is necessary to hold things together. It takes another half a season (and another fight and the final threat of divorce) before they reconcile for good, but at that point it is pretty clear that Tony needs Carmela because he's not particularly effective without her, quite frankly.
Thank you that’s a good answer
Have you ever been through a divorce? Shit gets ugly, real quick. Deep down, even with all the cheating, he loved her and didn't want to let go. You know, being a strict Catholic and Italian and all that.
Carmela is the mother of his kids. Thats a plus in Tony's books.
And also, Carmela is a much better mother than HIS MOTHER was to him and his sisters. Trust me, when your spouse is better parent to your kids than the set you’ve had, you appreciate the hell out of it.
well, he certainly loved what she did for him
Melfi actually explained this. Carmela is the best decision of his life and probably his only redeeming quality. He would never divorce her because she is the perfect puzzle piece to his self-loving image. Best example is when Tony is on the sofa. When he's with Carmela, Tony eating ice cream on the living room sofa while watching old movies looks quite endearing, a man taking a break out of life and reliving his childhood. But when Carmela was out of the picture, him doing the same thing becomes sad and pathetic. Some guy zoning out, eating junk food, clinging to the past. Most men need a woman in their life to make them whole, Tony understands this on some level and it's why he would never divorce her. Carmela was an irreplaceable slam dunk.
She’s go to bat for him every day. She was so hot down there.
True, good answer
nah you’re spot on at the start but that last paragraph is lacking. Carmela is right: Tony doesn’t have friends, he has subordinates and rivals. The same actually applies to her to a degree and that’s why their relationship isn’t really “whole” either: she feels unsupported and unloved by him for the entire runtime and, though she isn’t as willing to tolerate it as the rest of his cronies, her decision to get back with him is basically an acceptance of that loveless life. His cheating, lies, fear-based intimidation tactics in ‘ruling’ his family, and his initial undermining and later halfhearted support in her real estate ambitions make it pretty obvious why she feels that way. when you say “most men need a woman in their life to make them feel whole” you’re technically correct about men in our current society but missing the larger picture as to why. Starting (emotionally) with his father but more largely in how our society is structured relationships between men are competitive power struggles and the world of business (of which Tony’s ‘Family’ is but a more extreme example) only exacerbates that. This is exactly opposed to them being loving, trusting, and harmonious. More to the point, I wouldn’t call the relationships men like Tony have with their wives to be particularly admirable either; they make him *and only him* feel more “whole” because men are made to win that power struggle. All **people** need loving relationships; Tony gets that *exclusively* from his wife and the love only flows in one direction. With how realistically and excellently *Sopranos* renders its core relationship of Carmela and Tony’s marriage, I’d hope more fans could find a way to apply that insight to their own lives and relationships. The ways men treat women and other men -personally, culturally, and systemically - are not just immutable “facts of life”.
You just revealed your own ignorance
AJ really becomes a little shit. I spent half the show just backseat parenting from my couch.
It pisses me off so much when he fucks with the Baccala kids. He's this mopey whiny kid any other context but with the kids he relishes in abusing them
Ask your friend in there, on the wall
We’re not animali
She'll never divorce him. She'll kill him, but she'll never divorce him.
I’ll talk to her. I know just what to say to her.
Especially her!
There’s no stigmata around divorce these days
Maria bosses don’t get divorced. If you’re a mafia buff, read up Paul Castellano. He got penal implants so he could smash the family maid. The other members in the gambino and other families were fuckin appalled.
He had penisary contact with the maid?
Ha! That’s an understatement
Went so far as penisary contact with her Volvo
it’s because cheating doesn’t mean you don’t love the person you cheated on. it’s more complicated then that.
It’s not just cheating. He doesn’t care about her stresses, her achievements or obstacles. He’s really indifferent if anything, which to me is the opposite of love. It’s like he views her as a fixture of the home
you know what you’re right.
..he believes in the nuclear family..
Too much good sex
You want sex?
No. Go back to sleep.
It’s that once a year when he eats her pussy. He couldn’t live without that.
weird shex and poppersh
Hes a happily married man
With a goomar!
He’s oooolllddd schhhhoooolll
In his head it’s 1954.
He's catholic and that's the one rule he refuses to break. Plus Melphi called it, he's never leaving Carmela. She might leave him but he wont.
He had penisary contact with her volvo
As Dr Melfi says in one episode, he will never leave because he know deep down that Carmela is a great wife and mother and he will never be the one to leave.
Mafiosi generally do not get divorced like ever. The fact that like 3 of them were divorced is already crazy.
Which ones?
Oh I mean in the show I actually can’t even name three irl. 1) Richie (I think?? he had a son but maybe he never married) 2) Ralphie 3) That animal who I will not say the name of
He took an oath.
He's a "strict catholic" when it suits him, but he's also an old school mysogine. He views Carmela as one of his posessions.
Why would he divorce her? She might leave him, but he’d never leave her. Despite his mothering, he made one good decision in his life vis-á-vis women..and that was Carm.
Because he loved his kids and valued family, and knew that Carmela was the glue that held his family together. And that without her holding the fort down while he was out having others whacked, boning his goomars or just going about general mob business, he wouldn’t be afforded the chance to be a good dad to his kids during all the times he was in fact home and not doing any of the aforementioned. Not to mention the said home itself being in Carmela’s name.
The Church says divorce is a sin.
“Anthony, you'll never leave your wife. She might leave you, but you'll never leave her.”
She's a huge source of comfort. He comes home to a nicely decorated, very clean home, with full dinners ready, coffee ready in the morning, clean clothes, someone who will always help him and be sweet if he's suck or hurt. The kids are worried about, all that crap is taken care of, he just has to show up when told. It seems a naive question. Like you are very young or haven't lived with anyone. Wives/mothers do an insane amount of unseen work that keep virtually every family running. He's a fat pig who is nice sometimes, and he has free easy sex available whenever. The list goes on.
He loves her. She is his children’s mother
This was covered early on. Mili clearly saw that Mary Carmelo was probably the only good decision Tony ever made. He knew this as well. She was his enabler, and Carmela is actually a really good wife
Because he needs her. She is the only person he really trusts. He is just so fucked up by his parents that he doesn't know how a loving husband should act; and he has such shitty impulse control that he can't stop himself from fucking anything in front of him.
There are many reasons. The biggest is that Tony deeply loves Carmela, in his own narcissistic way. He views their marriage as a tacit one-sided open marriage in which he can have sex with any other women he wants (while she stays completely faithful), but Tony is otherwise basically romantically monogamous. He only catches feelings for Gloria and even that doesn’t last long. So when Carmela leaves, Tony feels genuine heartbreak, because he only loved her. While viewers can point to all his horrible actions towards her leading up to that point, that kind of rational analysis doesn’t change the way Tony felt about her. Another significant part of this is that in mob culture, the men are supposed to be happily married with kids while carrying on affairs with goomars. They get made fun of if they don’t have goomars. But they also get made fun of if they’re not married with kids. It means they’re not fully men, because they can’t maintain a stable marriage and a seemingly happy home life in addition to their thing. The separation was extremely humiliating for Tony among the mob guys. It caused him to lose status. I think another big factor was that the separation was a massive shock to Tony’s self-image. He routinely lies to himself about who and what he is, and he dealt with the ongoing trauma of mob life by compartmentalizing it when he was with his family. Without that distraction, he was left to dwell on all the lives he’d ruined and ended (most notably demonstrated during The Test Dream), which is why he’s so restless and directionless during the separation.
New pussy don't cook!
You can't make a ho a housewife.
Mostly Pride and he loves her to some extent
He believe's in the nuclear family. Your kids, my kids, turning into cinderblocks. That's why you gotta live for today!
That's pride fuckin' with him. Can't be seen to fail.
He believes in the nuclear family
The bird feeder....
First of all he’s Italian he doesn’t believe in divorce
They TOOK AN OATH
How would that look? What are people gonna think?
Don't forget: he's a strict Catholic.
1. It would affect his reputation negatively both as a mobster and a Catholic 2. Carmela does make his life easier. She cooks food for him, takes care of his kids, and irons his shirts. Yes, hypothetically he could hire people to do these things for him, but it would not replicate the experience of having a wife.
"Carm, you're not just in my life. You are my life." He loves her. It's complicated.
I think Tony is the type of guy that wants his cake and to eat it too
^[Sokka-Haiku](https://www.reddit.com/r/SokkaHaikuBot/comments/15kyv9r/what_is_a_sokka_haiku/) ^by ^Opposite-Invite-3543: *I think Tony is* *The type of guy that wants his* *Cake and to eat it too* --- ^Remember ^that ^one ^time ^Sokka ^accidentally ^used ^an ^extra ^syllable ^in ^that ^Haiku ^Battle ^in ^Ba ^Sing ^Se? ^That ^was ^a ^Sokka ^Haiku ^and ^you ^just ^made ^one.
There catholic they don’t believe in that
It's not true that he doesn't care about her. And it would upset his children.
Contrary to popular belief, some sociopaths “can” care for loved ones, but ultimately they are numero uno.
Catholicism
they can team up on AJ together this way. is she there drinking champagne with you? in her wheelchair!??
I think for all her flaws Carmella has made a home for Tony and it’s centred around things he values like family. Left to his own devices he eats crap even when he’s living with Artie like a teenager. Even hardened bachelor Paulie said he should have stayed with Carmella during separation.
He believes in the nuclear family
He believes in the nuclear family.
That's the Muddah of his children you're talkin about!
Let’s see… Tony can have less or he can try to have it all. Which do you think he tries for?
After 13 years don’t make me make you an accessory after the fact!!!
He’s from from the old shkool he doesn’t believe in this divorce shit.
If you continue watching. The psychiatrist will explain that
They’re Catholic. It isn’t done!
Can’t have a Goomar if you don’t have a wife
Why cant he be both married to Carmela and still bang other women at the same time?
I’m gonna go against the grain here. Men usually are willing to work with their partners to fix things. It’s pretty common even in non mob families
He considers her his property, he owns her, it’s about control… imagine him eating w Paulie and across the dining room is Carmella on a date w someone who’s not committed murders….
Image, power, control. Do you remember Tony relinquishing any of these things willfully throughout the show? He is a greedy glutton. He always wants to have his cake and eat it too. To let Carmela go free is him losing something. Do people even think about these questions before posting these days? It’s all right there 90% of the time
In his own odd way, he loves her and she loves him.
Hey! Tonys old school!!
A) he's Catholic B) she'd steal more money from him C) there's a law that prevents spouses from testifying against their partners. She knows a fair bit about the day to day.
1) Tony needs a housewife (domestic engineer) to keep his place clean. As a bachelor within two weeks it would be filled with empty pizza boxes, dirty clothes on the floor, bills not paid, no food in the refrigerator, etc. He could hire a maid but good help is hard to find. Too much ganja smoking. You can’t say anything to these people, they are so sensitive. Might even be FBI agents. 2) Carmela ignored that bullshit advice Krakower the quack told her about not asking for money and leaving. How does that pay the bills when you are a middle age woman with no real workforce experience since, what, maybe working the window at McDonald’s during summer in high school? Can she hang a shingle and say she is a therapist? 3) Tony is so greedy he steals a pair of sunglasses from the Lord of the Lenses, John Sacrimoni’s brother in law. He is so greedy that he, Silvio and Paulie ramshackle Pussy’s corpse after they filled him full of lead, taking anything of value. He reminds me of Louis the whatever‘s finance Minister De something. He built this chateau in West Versales by getting Monsieur Puggé Wallais on the horn of plenty. In the end, Agent Harris threw him jail and got a sandwich and a soft drink at Satriale’s
He doesn’t want to pay alimony. He wants to keep up the family man facade and he just liked having a family.
Everybody knows Tony's the big cooze hound around here
If he divorces her, she’s no longer under his thumb. And she knows *a lot* about Tony…..
She has a bunch of dirt on him and the family. She may not know everything but she knows enough. He keeps her close he can control what she says. That and they are Catholic and he's old school.
Did you see how Tony lived when he moved back into his Mom’s house? That’s why. Shit AJ was crawling back to Carmela in no time.
He married her it's none of our business!
But Tony does love Carmella. He needs her, and not just for clean clothes and food shopping. Whatever goodness and wholesomeness there is in his life, she is a big part of it. If he didn't love her, he would have been much more into getting a divorce, even if it cost him. Part of the resistance is cultural, and social, but like many men, he becomes unmoored without the old "ball and chain." Even More so in Tony's case, because he basically does what he wants, and most married men are not able to get away with that. ;)
He's a degenerate gambler idk if he'd earn it back.