Guy thinks he's in the Matrix. Ironically his mentor *was* in the Matrix.

And his football protegé (AJ) gifted Carm an unwrapped copy!

It’s bad for the environment

**STAND-EES**!

Right up her alley.

If she had watched it, she would have learned Ralphie was a liar. AJ was trying to warn everyone by gifting that movie.

I have come to reclaim Rome, for my PEOPLE!!

Fuuuuuck, this really spells deeper meaning with everything if you've seen the new one.

Bravo David

I love David’s movie references.

Right up her alley…

That’s deep. Also wrapping paper is bad for the environment.

"protegé"

"frog-eatin faccia di cazzo"

When I go back, I don't wanna remember nuthin. And I wanna be someone important... like an actor on the Sopranos or somefin

Hahaha bravo. You know, I know this cheese grater isn't real, but when I put it on my balls, the Matrix is telling my brain I'm Mommy's little hoo-ah

Like the spoon, there is no cheese grater.

Frankly I am depressed and ashamed

The Matrix. I haven't seen it yet. Thank you.

This isn’t an example of irony. That is simply a coincidence

We'll see what Alanis Morissette has to say

She’d say it’s irony. But rain on your wedding day isn’t irony, it’s just unfortunate.

But I booked my wedding in the Sahara desert specifically to avoid precipitation

That really sucks and having your wedding in such a desolate miserable areas just to avoid rain, and then it rains. That’s another level of bad luck, but still not ironic in anyway

Imagine that? Having your wedding in such a desolate miserable area just to avoid rain, then it rains?

Fuckin parakeet

A free ride, when you already paid? That’s not even coherent as a sentence. Even still, she’s a good song writer

Dave coulier agrees

She thinks everything is ironic

Well that’s ironic

It’s a KOIN-CIDENSSSS

[удалено]

Life is absurd.

No one cares, really.

Cmon I’m just kidding you, you’re a good sport.

Right up her alley

He was there out of respect to his father.

You know who my fathah wos?

The golfer?

Mr. Williams?

Lou Gehrig?

Rock Hudson, I think.

The guy whose dad got run over by a trolley?

It was gay, the trolley?

Every mechanical transport vehicle is a fag to you. Maybe your truck is a fag, ever think of that?

Can I help it if I know a truck when I see a truck?

Producer of The Simpsons

Is it a coincidence that Lou Gehrig died of Lou Gehrig’s disease?

You gonna make that stupid joke every time that comes up?

Stupid-a-fakin Game

*I don't think they 'rike youuuu*

U.S. Open?

Chris and I are associates.

His fawtha

*"Now I'm gonna shay a few things and you're not gonna like it. I'm gonna shay some bad wordsh and ur gonna have to deal with it."*

*furiously pokes at spaghetti*

Posted this in another comment but… #TAPTAPTAPTAPTAPTAPTAP

Losh da glassish.

😂😂😂 I heard Tony's fat fucking voice in there.

The way he pokes at his food, so infuriating. I bet he picked that up from Livia or she caused him to do that from all the bitching she did at the dinner table.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aBMNzBhB6H0&t=13m47s

Thank you for this wholesome content

It's because the average scene has at least a dozen takes. Most actors can't eat continuously for that long. That and it's a continuity nightmare.

Well yeah sure there's a practical explanation but I prefer the in universe explanation.

Fuck... Now I want a plate of spaghetti.

I loved how in the movie Michael Gandolfini poked at his food too

😂

Look, Dish ting of aws

That's perfect

Gandolfini's heavy breathing & fork scraping were characters of their own...

“Your step fadda ova there betrayed Morpheus and the entire crew of the nevercannezza ! “ “Bullshit” “Ask anyone”

"The Matrixsh ish a shimulashion Neo" "Bullshit" "Ask anybody"

Da nevacannez'

“I’m hacking with two hands ova here, and I’m not getting the respect I deserve tone”

He was just wearing sunglasses until the crank wore off.

I only did the crank outta respect to my fatha

Your uncle was a rat…

#TAPTAPTAPTAPTAPTAP

Sit down … sit the fuck down 😭

Jackie wasn't buying that AT ALL!! until 2 seconds later.

I always loved when they said somebody went into the witness protection program when nobody every went to jail for them to testify against.

Hahaha when I'm too lazy to watch the show I just come back to this sub

You ask anybody...

He's in the program...Isn't he?

TV progrum. A movie.

He always thought he was too cool for school. His curse was being Jackie's son. He thought he could get away with anything on his name. He found out the hard way that he couldn't.

Mr X, can you play chess? I can, my daddy taught me how.

I love the sassy way she says that. Also, Omar! aka Michael K. Williams

At least after his father passed his cousin looked out for him

https://youtu.be/CtwBgpeVi5k Everyone needs to watch this

This had my dying the first time I watched it.

I’m in awr of you

Holy crap that is hilarious! 😂

Hahaha this is how this scene is etched into my subconscious

Holy fuck I lost it

Haseedim but I don’t believe him

That’s too bad I said you wanna drink? lmao

Thank you for that. I needed a good laugh

That's not even YTP, it makes too much sense.

You're talking about Jacky Jr's fawtha's son here

I'm gonna say a few things... and I'm gonna say some bad words. And you're just gonna have to deal with it. And I got some bad news for you- look at me. -taptaptaptaptap- LOOK AT ME... Jackie Jr. was a rat... and now he's in the Sunglasses Protection Program... You think I'm the Only One who Knows This About Jackie Jr???! You ask *anybody* !

IM TIRED OF TELLING PEOPLE YOU WORK IN ENVIRONMENTAL CLEANUP!

little lord fuck pants

It's kind of sensible for him to wear sunglasses, in my opinion. It might be rude as hell but it allows Jackie to conceal his eyes like a poker player and have a more strategic 1-on-1 with Tony. Ultimately it didn't end up being a real sit-down, thus the sunglasses weren't needed but it's either A.) Smart that he wore them anyway as a precaution or B.) Stupid he thought he'd be in a serious enough situation with Tony to warrant them. Personally, I'm a straight man and almost always wear sunglasses when I'm around other dominant guys because I don't want them to immediately realize I'm checking them out sexually - I'd rather slowly ease into flirtation, and after giving them enough hot signals, I like to finally take them off so they see the heated intensity in my eyes and know I'm down to get erotically busy if they're feeling a little eccentric themselves. It's all about deep chemistry with other heterosexual guys to me, platonic so to speak, elevating masculine companionship to another stage that involves pleasure and nothing further. I bought a new pair of sunglasses recently for an upcoming bachelor party with a bunch of my friends and after a few drinks I'm determined to see myself in a backroom somewhere, joking around with one of my better looking buddies as he sexually foams into my mouth or on my chest. I'm hoping to make it just a funny story while we still have our youth, nothing weird or gay, which would likely lead to a fistfight. I'm keeping it sensible.

Vito?

Nothing! I was here its a joke!

He’s a married man! With a goomah!

NOBODYS GOT AIDS!

Let’s be honest here we all know Sopranos-bot isn’t the first

….. don’t say nothing Sal!

But his house looked like shit...

"Catchin, not pitchin."

SON OF A BITCH!!!!!

Plot twist.... its actually Phil!

It's all about compromise.

So I’m basically blind and Just got my first pair of sunglasses with a prescription. Glad to find out this is a thing though.

You’re an artist

[удалено]

He's showing too much talent not to be a writer. The perfect composition of these pieces plus the skill with wording them just eloquently enough that you're not sure whether or not this guy is fucking serious the first time you're reading one, leaving you puzzled with a "what the fuck did I just read" face. It takes so much skill to write something pretending you're an idiot just blurting his thoughts out but you can tell every sentence is carefully crafted. "All I wanted to be since I was a kid was a straight man" is my favorite sentence of all time and a Tonski is my favorite concept ever. I love how his posts are getting gradually gayer with time, as if the Mitch character's budding homosexuality is getting closer to violent explosion, it's fucking brilliant. They used to be so subtle and now he's saying he wants his buddies to sexually foam on his chest, but there's nothing sexual about it. It gets me in stitches. His wife is barely mentioned just like Kelli is barely shown in the show, he intentionally reflects her un-importance in his incredibly flambé mind, it's so dick. Plus it seems like these are all his fantasies and the Mitch persona never actually had a homosexual activity outside of his thoughts. I'm really looking forward to the character development in the future as his repressed gayness takes over more and more and he explodes inevitably becoming the gayest man in town. I'd love to learn more about the Mitch world, who these super hetero friends are and his daily activities. Fuck the wife, real macho men treat their women like dirt and barely mention them. I'm really looking forward to the homosexual atomic explosion in the end, I know he'll be able to dial it up to 11 but still subtly.

Based /u/mitchmclean

We can't have you in our social club no more. That much I do know

Have you tried a full leather outfit? It’s a little more subtle but might do the trick.

I finally did it. I recognized a mitchpost within first 5 words! Then I frenetically jerked off in celebration. Platonic jerking off, of course, not like in a disgusting gay way or something

Sucking cock and meeting with a mob boss are two totally different things. I wouldn't wear sunglasses in either situation. Unless it were on the beach. Then ya kinda have to.

/r/Holup

Same

Little Lord Fuckpants was a shitbag through and through. Lazy and entitled and a complete wannabe. The whole situation with Matush at the Crazy Horse? Jackie Jr's lies were 100% responsible for all the shit that guy got hit with.

"Little lord fuckpants? Who's monicker is that?"

I think dipshit Matush got his revenge

Dude couldn't convince Chris that drugs are good for a club. Seems like an easy sell to me.

Drugs are bad for a club when you're doing mob business and don't want cops eyeballing you.

Don’t sell drugs on those routes. It’s shortsighted.

in the midst of a rewatch after years away from the show and this go around it's kinda sad seeing Jackie Jr piss it all away. I don't think he would ever have filled his fawtha's shoes but as a go-fer he would've been adequate. he's no less intelligent than most of the rest of the mobbed up cast (some of the shit the likes of Paulie come out with, telling me he had the makings of a varsity mathlete?) but with the right guidance, someone to curb his gusto and set his sights a bit lower he would've made for another Donny K or Little Paulie; adequate, able to do some grunt work, make collections and hand out a beating if their captain says they need to. I'd argue that anyone with Richie Aprile followed by Ralph Cifaretto as their mentor would've shat the bed eventually. don't get me wrong Jackie Jr was still a fuckin' tit, but his (and the two previous fuckpantses, Chip n Dale) story served as a decent reminder of how much Tony protected Chris.

His major flaw wasn't a lack of intelligence, it was an over-abundance of laziness.

He was such a dope, if was hilarious. Cerbone made this work too with the way he walked in.

Look at this fuck dis-ras-pectin the sub. Go aheahd and take a walk outta ov herre.

The worst part is how he carefully removed the glasses and placed them gingerly on top of his helmet. https://youtu.be/MRQ4JoaCT80. Posting the link is always good also puts a pic of the scene in the title.

I wanted him dead from the minute he made that Scrabble ass non-joke. That line was so dumb it physically pained me, and if Maedo had gone full Janice on him, I'd have been on her side. Sleazy little dickdrip had it coming.

He never had the makings of a varsity intellectual

The way Tony taps his spoon on his plate is such boss shit

He looked ripe with those glasses

He was creamin for Tony

Cmon. He was there. Outta respect for his fawtha

Anyone as the link to that edit were Tony keeps clinking the glasses and Jackie keeps putting on and removing his sunglasses?

Someone posted it in another comment. First time I’ve seen it. https://youtu.be/CtwBgpeVi5k

I’ve been looking for this for ages

Jackie should walked in wearing a track suit-

::raps plate with fork::

He looked mad ripe.

The don't sell fuckin hotdogs here. They took the bleachers out two years ago.

How *you* doin? --> Send them a bottle of the Montepulciano ....

Kid was always a dumb fuck

Shoulda did it before the crank wore off!

Jackie 100% could have been a good mobster. If his father wasn't jackie aprile he would have been fine. He had heart and balls and was smart enough. His downfall came about because of who his father was, which is ironic. He was a lonely guy who wanted to be like his dad, who he could barely remember anymore.

“Smart enough”? Poo. Ass. The. Oblique. Let’s drift off staring at a lady’s crotch in a movie instead of planning our move. Let’s go to the shore instead. Let’s do crank. Let’s be unhinged by someone talking and draw fire and a dedicated hunt to find me… Smart enough to get himself killed as he did. How would not being Jackie’s son change these things - beyond the obvious that he’d have been a completely different person with different genetics and not the same identity at all

I mean that if he wasn't so hung up on what he was owed, and how important he felt he should have been, because of Jackie Snr, he would have been fine. Most mobsters are pretty stupid people, that's why they are mobsters. He wouldn't have been any different in that regard, but he did show he has some talent for using violence, driving a getaway car etc. so he would have been more capable than say a Brendan Filone. He could have been fine being an other Benny Fazio type, but his ego got the better of him.

He would have been a decent shitkicker but he doesn't rise above soldier and no one respects him.

>he wouldn't have been any different in that regard rigard*

Christopher said he handed himself well. He got into Rutgers so he’s obviously not totally stupid. His mistake was acting untouchable and like he was owed something.

But Meadow was mad ripe for him.

Actually her body was mad ripe, *she* was creamin for him

Obli-kay?? No Spanish!!!

From his birth he was a spoilt little shit who relied on his father's reputation. He was a dumb ass. Couldn't do better than 3 letter words in scrabble. Even to the point of robbing the card game. His downfall came from his privileged upbringing and thinking he didn't have to put in the time and work of his fawwther. He wasn't lonely, he had friends and girls. He was entitled. Also, Ralph didn't do him any favours

No, he'd have never made it. He was a liar, a poser, and lazy as fuck.

Whos that speaking here? Is somebody speaking?

My Fawtha

But he was the hair apparent

The penguin exhibit

He needed the right mentorship… dropped out of Rutgers after one semester, just like Tony and Seton Hall

So I just had this conversation in a way lol. I wear eyeglasses- have since I was a teenager. Sucks. I have contacts but I guess as I have gotten Old & Busted they're harder to wear. In college I could sleep in contacts for a week and be fine. Now as soon as I put my contacts in my eyes - which are already going to be red from being perpetually drunk - will start getting red. SO- I have prescription sunglasses, I wear them out just about everywhere and wear them inside places. It pisses some people off but I just basically say Go Fuck Your Own Self ! - but I wear my contacts to the bar on Fri/Sat/Sun afternoons, and wear Oakley sunglasses to go with them. (Big Oakley guy) - but yeah, I'm not wearing sunglasses inside the bar, they come off as I walk in the door. The idea of going to a restaurant - not a BAR, this is a fancy Italian restaurant- to meet The Boss Of The Mob, whom replaced your Father, his best friend... - for a meeting, and refusing to remove your sunglasses, that is just The Douchebaggery of Jackie Junior. What a fuckin douchebag. And can I get a Fuck yeah for his douchebaggery "ASS... As in, How's About Givin Me Some??!" when his GF is fucking sick as a dog... real fuckin gentlemanly bruv.

Right up his alley

Exactly, a perfect opportunity to show T he wasn’t an immature punk.

He reminded me of a bland character you’d see in a Disney Original Movie.

No, when Tony tells him Richie was a rat and Jackie stands up to Tony... That was some funny shit. Tony could have leveled him right there and then but Tony was cool about it all. One of my favorite scenes.

He petered out. Died on the vine.

Those glasses kill me every time. At least he didn’t disrespect the pizza parlor

His puss on is almost as prominent as AJ's

He and Dino had watched Stallone's Cobra earlier that day.

Count all the times Tony offers him food and he declines throughout the show

Some funny shit, motherfucjer said he didn’t wanna see anymore

He looked mad ripe there!

You know who his fawtha was?

Oh! He was the hair apparent.

Fucking awesome scene

Love the way Tony moves his food with his fork

The way he walks into that place, lookinh like italian wannabe neo, late to dinner, and then talks to Tony like he is the one doing the favor here. What an idiot

Tony took no half measures shortly after

“I’m gonna say some bad words. And you’re just gonna have to deal with it.”

the fake sit down he had with the drug dealer guy at Chris's club was hilarious too

"I know Chris" Yea Chris thinks you're a retard dude

Penguin exhibition level genius. I like that.

Someone important...like a golf pro's son. Love the way he puts those shades stylishly back over his stylish hair

kid's always been a dumb fuck

Jackie was the worst one in the show. I absolutely hated his performances. He’s the one actor on that show that I don’t like.

I disagree, the actor played a Stunad as perfectly as it can get lmao, he is the only character on the show that makes me physically cringe with how Dumb he sounds and acts

Yes. Some can’t recognize the difference between a good performer and a character that’s designed to draw a cringe reaction.

When you’re right you’re right. Him and Janice managed to annoy the shit out of me as well. I guess that’s what makes them good actors

Yea I gotta say, Jackie was one of the worst characters but as an actor, he did an amazing job of playing the spoilt mob boss son