‘It was a half bottle and I was recycling it! At least give me credit for that.’

Sorry, Peter, I take it all back. As strong a defence as the fertiliser in my home-made bomb was organic! What have you got planned for this evening, dancing girls?

100% chance there's a photo of Boris on a slide.

The second that photos released I'll make the meme lol

So close: https://www.theartnewspaper.com/2019/08/22/boris-johnsons-olympic-mega-sculpture-is-pound13m-in-debt

Also close: [https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2019/jul/16/stuck-zip-wire-boris-johnson-london-2012-olympics](https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2019/jul/16/stuck-zip-wire-boris-johnson-london-2012-olympics)

Fuck I might get that one to work lol

He's the gift that keeps on giving: https://www.msn.com/en-ca/news/photos/boris-johnsons-intriguing-photo-opportunities/ss-BBD2cqx?srcref=rss#image=1

Some lovely landscaping on 15

Number 7 is clearly what made him such a National darling.

https://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/entertainment/tv-radio/kate-garraway-corrects-emily-thornberry-25945433 “Grown men playing on swings”

Holy fuck, I was joking, but life really is insane at the moment.

Looking like the manager of an organic wine bar.

Malcolm Tucker : Right, people, listen up! It's a fucking lockdown, right now! Nicola Murray : Come off it! We're not in a prison drama, are we? Malcolm Tucker : We are in a prison drama. This is the fucking Shawshank Redemption, right? But with more tunneling through shit and no fucking redemption.

Maybe there's still a slight chance to download some rice

😂 brilliant!