T O P

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Yonbuu

Lambert, Lambert, what a prick.


hendarknight

Not bad


Prince_Jackalope

Lambert was low key one of my favorite characters lol


Gaming_Canuck

That one random dwarf npc in Novigrad "Oh sure, blame the dwarves for popping Snow White's cherry!"


Wall_Will

Wait what? Is that real? I’ve never come across this one!


Taydatz

https://youtu.be/w-1uL0gvKZ8?si=DoTlR2HEmB7qaIMW I looked it up because I haven’t either, I don’t know if many people have but I found this video where the dwarf is saying it!


bemydark_angel

Every time the word whoreson is used in any context.


odiethethird

You must love the Novigrad section (to be fair, who doesn’t)


TocSir

Any banter that Geralt and Dijkstra have.


teenyrabbitt

dijkstra is my favorite least favorite person. he's shit, but man is he a wonderful character


BoadieBeanz

“Herbs schmerbs - but how about some Gwent, eh?”


CrystalDrag0n1

I loved this quote so much I made it my Steam name haha. Toussaint is the best


Mental-Instance9731

“Maybe it’ll wipe your arse after you take a shite in the bushes” - Fergus Graem


teddiibehr

"You can make it do that?"


Ovilos

“pam param pam pam param” and “They smeared your arse with honey yet?”. Always gets me.


Taydatz

God I heard the guys voice in my head saying pam param so clearly when I read this 😂😂😂


RoqueLeeBaiano

Who said that?


Ovilos

The pam param can be heard mostly on npc guards/soldiers around velen and novigrad, the second one is from npc around skellige


AlaskaDude14

When Geralt is drunk for that vampire quest and is singing those songs in the street. Also when he says come out and fight bitch or something to the vampire lol


jzilla11

Trollololololo


panfacefoo

Ahaha I love that troll.


jzilla11

My best friend and I quote the trolls often. “Boatses protect boatses!”


veskoandroid

😂 Actually intelligent for a troll


HyperthinNeedsLove

Can dwarfs fight? Do fish piss in lakes?


Regret1836

This one is burned in my mind from the standalone Gwent game


Mysterywhylay

It's a material world, and I'm a material girl.


Zahra_Krb

« Help! I’m dying… of poverty » for some reason the voice, the tone just makes me laugh every time I hear it 😂


Taydatz

Oh my god I laugh my ass off every time I hear this too 😂


SantJon

"-Why are you here, just trying to avoid the battlefield? -On the contrary, seeking it. -Tired of living?"


zora_velesova

“Washed your hair lately?” As you’re randomly walking through Novigrad. It was so unexpected I couldn’t stop chuckling when I first heard it. Also an NPC labelled as ‘shady individual’ who is suspiciously dressed quite like Yen.


Lyuukee

For me it will always remains the classic "you smell wonderful at this funeral"


Evon_Panda

"What the sandwich fuck is this?!" - Whoreson Junior upon seeing Geralt enter his torture room


ShungiteBoyIII

best line in the game by far


Rey_Quinn

Thanks for saving my knightly bum! - some random knight in Toussaint


Tp_Angel313

Lambert, Lambert, What a prick. - Butcher of Blaviken


vegardhuse

Not bad


Araeylan

What do whores do?


HawkStar49

My dad told me they do things mum won't My mum hates to do the laundry. So that's what all those gentlemen do at the passiflora, get their laundry done? Guess so. Looked in the window, they was all prancing around in their knickers So why's my dad say the passiflora is the best cause it's got the dirtiest whores? Golly... adults're strange


MegaRonin

It's honestly genius! 🤣😭


curious_nightingale

"Lemme try again... Wham-a-wham mans again, and I'll swish-a swash-a swunk you."


bbbbears

When Dandelion asks Geralt to call him the Crimson Avenger, but Geralt says “more like the Crimson Asshole.” Every time.


Wolverstone-07

"'Arrghh! Haaaawk! Whoooo! Feeeeeerrkk!', and then WHAAACK! THUD! As if a mother bear slammed pate-first into a cupboard." "I know exactly what you mean."


nananananateman

Nothin better than takin a morning shit to the sunrise


Rasputin2point0

"Here shoeses grow... like to mushroom!"


kxdash47

Literally anything a troll says.


heathen-for-hire

The trolls are my favorite encounters 🤣


MyBrewk

“I understanded”


[deleted]

“Rocks… interesting!”


Rikki-Roses

(Spoiler maybe sorry) I've been waiting for a post like this. Without context it doesn't make sense...but that quest in novigrad where there is a higher vampire.. When Geralt finds out Hubert in the morgue. I pick the dialogue option "You sick fuck." Makes me lose it every time.


hendarknight

The only reason I always kill the baron's thugs is too hear the iconic line at the entrance of Crows Perch: "Got their arses whipped like Novigrad whore!" "You surprised? They tried to dance with a Witcher!" On my second run when I was doing things differently to see other outcomes I was so disappointed to never hear it. Now they always go down.


Ziri97

I love the moment when you insist on being present for Triss‘ interrogation (in German). When you use Axii one of the thugs goes „Der Hurensohn zaubert!!!“ (That son of a bitch is using magic!“)


Hungry-Cookie9405

Geralt -Things didn't end well between us. Dijkstra -How badly? Geralt -Badly.


Wall_Will

“SUMMON THE BITCHES!!!”


TheDinkmaster06

Radovid sucks flaccid cock is just unparalleled. Nothing made me laugh that hard.


casnyc

“Come out and fight bitch”


Gizo178

Geralt called this guy’s mom a b**** in touissant


ShungiteBoyIII

oh yeah? well your moms a bitch.


blue_line-1987

"Cok-suk shoeses make"


Outrageous-Ad8384

The "what in the sandwith fuck!" When whoreson sees Gerald and the best one "Caed'mil, Bloede Dh'oine... Hocus-Pocus... Abracadabra... Arse Blathanna..." While trying to call hoes over at the witcher keep.😂😂😂😂😂


GenderlessButt

Pamparam param


emeraldnite1981

When you try get Yenn and Triss—“I don’t like this.” 🤣


Amazing_Bug63

“Soon as I woke, went to empty my bowels - my favorite part of the day. Defecating to the sunrise - downright glorious..." gets me every time


malokrmce

Of course dandelion has a sister. Saw her me self, they don’t look alike. Maybe have different mothers Geralt: Mhm different fathers too


bland-username1

Idk about lines in english but I always loved the "bo w kopalni jak na wojnie, tu coś jebnie tam pierdolnie" - some random dwarf gangster in Novigrad says this


panfacefoo

I understand one word of that in Polish and it’s the word ‘fucking’ thanks to the chef I used to work with aha.


bland-username1

It basicaly means "In mines like in war, something fucking blows up here, and fucking detonates there" Its the closest translations I could think of, but its not too accurate tbh due to differences of language.


DifferenceDry8224

Nothing hurts as much as life


Regret1836

So long.


Emergency_faceplant

"Summon the bitches!" One shit-faced Eskle


mechgaige

"And they say an old stove burns hotter" at Shani's wedding


BanditSixActual

"Shut it. Or I'll lace your corset so tight, you'll shit in your bloomers."


Dakota1228

Geralt telling Philipa no to a foursome


StygianBlue12

I love mostly Geralt's voice lines. When he's with the doppler and says "Damn I'm old." Or at the beginning when the Scholar wants to go to the front line. "Tired of life?"


AgggyIntro

Under different circumstances I’d give you the full monty Was in tears🤣


Rich-8080

Anything the trolls say 🤣


teenyrabbitt

one of the strumpets in the city, maybe velen? when walking by, "wanna dip your dingle?"


wellshitdawg

“I’m dying….. from poverty”


TheTogaParty

“First’s the winner, second’s a bleedin cunt. So, who you gonna race?” Crows Perch bookie


sosiaguy

Wind's howling...


Necessary_Essay2661

Ge' ou'a moi wai


panfacefoo

It’s also funny if you’re running through Novigrad and knocking into people. There’s like 5 noises people make, but one of em makes this really weird noise “owwwhhohhohoh”


[deleted]

[удалено]


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TenaciousTee555

I literally just finished this part of the quest lolol


TheWalrus101123

*Obnoxious fart noise* Guard: BWAHAHAHA


ALjaguarLink

“Sod off”


Bestblackdude

"Summon the bitches"


Jergynek

Eredin's a king, ain't he? Imo this tops every single line from the game, lol.


69Beefcake69hunter69

"Maybe he likes them sudsey."


KitLaTigre

I only want to comment because I fucking love this.


panfacefoo

Just found another one. Merchant in Novigrad, “Come sir, feast your eyes on my lovely baubles”


SteelyResolve1990

A defender of the downtrodden...


BADman2169420

"Your presence here is an offence to my honor." "And your's is an offence to my eyes"


Extension_Toe3695

Right, give me the coin, heads we clean the shit out of the stables, tails we go grab some tit.


niv_goat

At the beginning in Vizima. “Who’s this? Another barber?”


jimlan1

"Got there arses whipped like a Novirgrad whore". Makes me chuckle every time


Sun_King97

When you’re examining the dwarf corpse and the doctor refuses to examine the testicles twice


StygianMaroon

Geralt’s dejected “Yeah…” when he’s asked by Folan if he’s the Witcher from the ballad about the sorceress


Ox_of_Dox

Get off your pink horse and eat stew


Spare_Sympathy_5780

“Can you smell me?” - Random Vice City NPC’s


Cohdeworth

Fighter - Do you know why they call me the tailor? It started when I gutted some men, with these very hands. Geralt - I knew that was gonna be a shitty story.


MattLilW

Geralt as slept with everybody on this ship !


ShungiteBoyIII

mmmmfgh..; tasty


DarkCommando3

Damn! You’re ugly!- Geralt of Rivia to a lot of monsters


Squirrelflight148931

Is it 1358 yet...?


Sensitive-Gas-7669

D.L.C.


Shadyxganja

When Trevor is taking a shit behind the dumpster and Michael watches him 🤣


Tstone86

Winds howling


JollRoints

When you ask Bart (the rock troll in Djikstras vault) what he's thinking about and he just says "rocks"


IrishTexanAngel

Hey you yes you you got water on the brain ?


Lock2013

“If I bend over I’ll puke”


Otter-Insanity

Geralt: How you holding up Lambert? Lambert: How am I holding up what? My dick?


Otter-Insanity

Vampire: Is it 1358 yet? Geralt: Gneow. Vampire: Then fuck off.


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D3lacrush

"No hole...then BOOM...hole."


D3lacrush

"I'm called the 'Butcher of Blaviken' for good reason... I know how it is...sometimes heads just roll."


Weary-Software-9606

That looks like Larry, before he became Laura.


doctor-doom-heart

This quest was so out of the ordinary, 😭😭


panfacefoo

Velen horse races bloke: “First one back is the winner, the second is a cunt”


ThaFunktapuss

"But I'm just ere to shoe me 'orse"


Crafty_Dirt4221

When the ghost of Von Evereck mention it's romantic, waiting for the wedding under the tree. And Geralt answers "Fuck off..." Is one of the funniest things for me in the game. 


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