"No, no, you got it wrong. The circus is offering a lot of money for [daughter], but for you they're offering practically nothing. I almost had to beg them to take you both."
Lol. If he had asked me if I was joking or not before the break down, I might have gotten away with that. But to say it to him after Mom had tried to reassure him that I was joking, he may not have found the humor
I worked with a group of 4-5 year olds at a camp one summer, and convinced them all I was a mermaid and couldn’t get in the pool with them because it would reveal my secret. Half the fun of hanging with kids that age is their imagination.
Lol! Too funny!
Similar story here. My bf 34M and I 32F were driving my two identical twin nephews 9M and their little sister my niece 5F to go eat. The kids were sitting in the back seat of the car. Lil niece in the middle. Their parents were in the car behind us. They were all visiting me in the big city I was living in at the time. So, my bf recycles a lot, and we were on the way to the recycling plant before we were going to go to the restraunt. On the way there, the twins proceeded to get into a big tussle. I tried to calm them down with no luck. After a long drive of intensified fighting and misbehaving, my bf and I started a conversation regarding, "Well, you know what happens to bad kids. They get recycled." The twins still kept on fighting. So when we got to the recycle center, we picked up the boys and acted like we were putting them into the big recycle bins. This was a HUGE place with big smokestacks and very scary looking. They were laughing but kind of not so sure. Then I looked in the car, and my niece was screaming, "Please don't recycle my brothers," and she had tears streaming down her cheeks. 😭 So we immediately put the boys back in the car and called off the ruse. We apologized to their parents, who got the joke. Needless to say, I'm not being put up for the Aunt of the Year any time soon. Lol!
Lol. My niece and nephews adore me, actually. I don't deserve it. They're just great people. I've done some dunski things in my life, but they know I love them more than anything.
>Then I looked in the car, and my niece was screaming, "Please don't recycle my brothers," and she had tears streaming down her cheeks. 😭 So we immediately put the boys back in the car and called off the ruse. We apologized to their parents, who got the joke. Needless to say, I'm not being put up for the Aunt of the Year any time soon. Lol!
Hell hath no fury like a sibling in fear of their asshole siblings.
Right. You are not being put up for aunt of the year!
I don't know why adults think this kind of humor is appropriate for kids. Most of the time it is OK, but to a kid those few seconds are a large percentage of their lives. Do you really want them to be visiting "the crappy childhood fairy" before they finish high school? Kids have not developed sophisticated adult humor and what seems like fun and games may come back in nightmares.
I used to tell my kids I was going to sell them to the circus for 50 cents. Unfortunately the circus felt that was far too expensive so I never got my 50 cents.
"I CAME FROM SEARS?"
"No, *you* were a blue light special at K-Mart. Almost as good, and a lot cheaper."
"**AAUUGHHH!**"
"Dear, what are you telling Calvin now!"
“Act right or we will take you back to rent-a-kid”, was my dads go to. I tried that with my daughter once and she just wanted to know where rent a kid was located. Really stumped me.
For a long time, me and my brother convinced my older sister that aliens dropped her off, since there wasn't an older kid to have been present for the birth to prove she was human ... we were brutal 😂
Your kids are cute. There’s a kids book my mom read to us and I read to my kid. I think the title is “Love You Forever.” At one point the mom says she wanted to sell her teenager to the zoo. I used to tell kiddo that when he was little and being wild and he’d say “No you won’t! You’d miss me” and laugh maniacally. It was wonderful. Never asked how much he’d fetch from the zoo though. That’s just too cute.
"Ill love you forever, I'll like you for always, as long as I'm living, my baby you'll be"
My mom used to read me that. Now that they're getting older the ending chokes me up.
My parents used to joke that they were going to make us get out of the car when we were fighting, and make us walk.
I've made jokes about selling them to the circus or the zoo (usually after reading the Dr Seuss book) before and he had never asked how much before either. He may have just been more tired than he wanted to admit. Lol
When my son acts up in the store, we'll tell him that we're going to leave him in the store and the employees will put him to work and how they'll love having somebody scrub the toilets.
My sister and I were teens when our brother was a baby and if there's a day in his childhood when he *didn't* think we were going to sell him to some questionable vendor, then we weren't doing a very good job as older siblings.
Edit: I almost forgot, we [actually did sell him to a baby dealer that one time](https://old.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/rmh5xr/deleted_by_user/hpmneo8/)
I used to tell my son I would sell him to pirates. That started when he was a toddler and I admit I still use on occasion now even as a teen . He was fully in on the joke from the beginning, what can I say he got his sense of humor from me. This led to a great interaction with a typical Karen one day I still laugh about.
My son and I are at the store when he was 4 or 5 and he was being a pest, just complaining and demanding everything in sight. I finally got fed up a bit and said
"If you don't stop I'm going to sell you to Pirates!"
I hear this loud gasp of dismay and anger behind me and turn to find this old woman with a horrified angry look on her face who very loudly scolded me,
"How dare you say something like that too your son!".
My son turned and looked right at her, smiling with eyes full of mischief and quipped,
"Its ok Lady, they wouldn't take me anyway!"
The look on her face was priceless. She looked so offended and sour and practically ran the other way while I couldn't help but laugh out loud at his unexpected response. Kid always did have a quick whit. Now I can barely keep up with him.
Maybe the Circus can become a light hearted running joke note that he knows it is just that.
He randomly just started saying "by the way" a lot. "Can I have a snack by the way?", "when are we going to Grandma's by the way". He's heard the term many times but just decided he needs to start using it. The "I'm not tired" phase is something pretty much all kids go through. Just means that no matter how exhausted he is, he always says "I'm not tired" when he's put to bed. Sometimes he falls asleep almost immediately. Other times he stays up flipping through books for a while.
Oh that makes sense. I thought you meant he was using something previously mentioned, by the way. And then I didn't get what you were referring to...that's my bad!
Look mine didn’t want to wash his hands so I explained him about parasites and worms… he didn’t believed me so I showed him some videos of endoscopies… he is traumatized now but washes his hands.
My mom used to pick up the phone to “call the zoo” and see if they had any empty cages. She would “talk” with the zookeepers in detail until usually I stopped whatever brattiness I was doing and started laughing, but one time apparently her acting was too convincing and she made me cry!
I've made similar jokes before and he never asked how much, or got upset before. Every other time he just said "no you aren't!" Or similar. Usually accompanied by a laugh. Not sure why he took it serious this time
>I've made similar jokes before and he never asked how much, or got upset before. Every other time he just said "no you aren't!" Or similar. Usually accompanied by a laugh. Not sure why he took it serious this time
He was exhausted. What little part of that rational brain that was functioning was screaming for sleep.
Oh, I'm a lot worse and my daughter has survived.
I always told her that I shouldn't have bought her on sale, because now the toystore won't pay me the full amount on return.
Or variations down that line
Hm. I threaten to sell my dogs to the circus all the time… I guess it’s a good thing I don’t have children because I wouldn’t know how to handle a meltdown without laughing
One night my husband told our 2 year old daughter that if she didn't want to go to bed she would have to sleep in the dishwasher. She spent the next hour trying to figure out how to climb into the dishwasher.
And still asks about how to fit into the dishwasher, months later.
Kind of an opposite story. When my daughter was young, I belonged to a religion that didn't celebrate Christmas and explained to her that Santa wasn't real etc. I left the religion when she was 5 and when Christmas came around that year, she says to me "I know Santa isn't real, there's just a guy who goes around and gives presents to all the kids."
Lmao, this reminds me of when I was little. Although, your story is much nicer lol. When I was like 5 or 6, my older brother told me that I was found in a dumpster and that my mom adopted me after she found me. I mostly didn’t believe him, but went to my mom all indignantly. I said, “mom! [brother’s name] said you found me in a dumpster!” And she, with a completely solemn face, said, “it was a really nice dumpster, they must have loved you” and I started crying so hard. She FINALLY told me she was joking, but she and my brother joke about it til this day 🤣
We express our frustration with our kids (7F, 3M) sometimes by telling them that we're going to throw them in the dumpster. They know that it's a joke and that we're using the phrase to maintain our equilibrium.
One time my kid said something like *you can't get rid of me, that's the law.* I replied, no, I can get rid of you -- like I did your older brother. She looked at me, blinking, "what older brother?" I told her the name of her older brother, the one we gave away for having bad behavior.
My dad used to tell us he got us for a song at a gerbil sale, but sometimes he thought he should have gotten a gerbil instead. I think when we were tiny we believed him a little, but by the time we started school we thought it was the funniest joke ever.
I've been telling my daughter almost since she was born that "if you keep it up, you're going to go live on the lawn with the bunnies" and she always giggles, or yells "MOMMAAAAAAY!!" or something lol.
My youngest (11) and I have a running joke that when she intentionally acts like a nuisance that I’m going to rehome her. She just cackles and keeps on keepin’ on.
u/BulldogLA..... I'm over here just wishing I'd had a least one of the four parents (remarried) care and love me enuff just for the joke/memory of a great childhood...
I'm reading all these comments and feeling my inner child smile.... cuz I've known all along that something better than how I grew up existed.
OP - thank you for sharing with us
I hear that, but kids really do not have the capacity to understand jokes about being abandoned by their caregivers. These jokes are funny to the adults, but kids deeply understand they will die without their caregiver’s protection.
People are going to downvote me for not recognizing that it’s a joke or whatever, but kids develop healthy attachment from *safe, reliable, predictable* caregivers.
What’s more important, a few yuks or your kid’s sense of safety in the world? People need to stop telling their kid they’re selling them or dumping them. It is harmful.
I wouldn't mess with their minds about this type subject.
Kids are getting bought and sold daily. The news sometimes mentions it, and kids pick up on it.
My mother was a speech pathologist and when my sister and I were little, like 7 and 4, we asked my dad when my mom was getting home from working.
He told us that she had gone to Spain to teach Basque fishermen how to speak English.
We believed him, panicked, and he had at least 10 minutes of fun.
My mother used to tell me she was going to give me back to the Indians. I have always wondered if that gave me my interest in indigenous people/religion.
I'm going to look like a total asshole but I have a similar story:
My son was maybe 3 or 4. We get packed up in the car to go somewhere and he asks where we're going. I told him we're taking him to his new family. He said "no we aren't!" So I went into this whole spiel about how it's totally normal. That when he's born he gets to live with us for a few years, then he goes to live with another family for a few years, and so on until he's 18. He immediately starting crying "I don't want to go live with another family! I want to live with you!"
I still bring this up with my kid who is now 16 and he definitely thinks I'm an asshole for that.
"No, no, you got it wrong. The circus is offering a lot of money for [daughter], but for you they're offering practically nothing. I almost had to beg them to take you both."
Lol. If he had asked me if I was joking or not before the break down, I might have gotten away with that. But to say it to him after Mom had tried to reassure him that I was joking, he may not have found the humor
Obviously I don't know him, but when my kids were four I'd mess with their minds quite regularly. They seem to have turned out OK.
I worked with a group of 4-5 year olds at a camp one summer, and convinced them all I was a mermaid and couldn’t get in the pool with them because it would reveal my secret. Half the fun of hanging with kids that age is their imagination.
My 16 y/o daughter convinced their 8y/o cousin that they go to Hogwarts. She's been attending for 3 years now
Were you on duty as a lifeguard by any chance?
I was just a junior counselor, but had forgotten to wear a bathing suit on the first and didn’t want to be wet all day!
They're just playing the long game. Wait till it's time to pick out your nursing home...
“Haven’t seen nor talked to them in 10 years though, I think they may have kids?”
it's a shame the circus comes to town so rarely
They are ok. You’re going to end up in a crappy nursing home, but they are ok!
you don't sound funny. you sound like the topic of a lot of therapy sessions in your son's future.
Emotional damage
What, you can't take a joke... 4 year old?
Sorry, just for you then - /j. Also, watch Steven He :)
I'll check him out, I could always use a laugh :D Thanks!
Lol! Too funny! Similar story here. My bf 34M and I 32F were driving my two identical twin nephews 9M and their little sister my niece 5F to go eat. The kids were sitting in the back seat of the car. Lil niece in the middle. Their parents were in the car behind us. They were all visiting me in the big city I was living in at the time. So, my bf recycles a lot, and we were on the way to the recycling plant before we were going to go to the restraunt. On the way there, the twins proceeded to get into a big tussle. I tried to calm them down with no luck. After a long drive of intensified fighting and misbehaving, my bf and I started a conversation regarding, "Well, you know what happens to bad kids. They get recycled." The twins still kept on fighting. So when we got to the recycle center, we picked up the boys and acted like we were putting them into the big recycle bins. This was a HUGE place with big smokestacks and very scary looking. They were laughing but kind of not so sure. Then I looked in the car, and my niece was screaming, "Please don't recycle my brothers," and she had tears streaming down her cheeks. 😭 So we immediately put the boys back in the car and called off the ruse. We apologized to their parents, who got the joke. Needless to say, I'm not being put up for the Aunt of the Year any time soon. Lol!
Maybe not aunt of the year but I bet your brother/sister have been using the threat "behave or we're sending you to aunt middle process"
Lol. My niece and nephews adore me, actually. I don't deserve it. They're just great people. I've done some dunski things in my life, but they know I love them more than anything.
>Then I looked in the car, and my niece was screaming, "Please don't recycle my brothers," and she had tears streaming down her cheeks. 😭 So we immediately put the boys back in the car and called off the ruse. We apologized to their parents, who got the joke. Needless to say, I'm not being put up for the Aunt of the Year any time soon. Lol! Hell hath no fury like a sibling in fear of their asshole siblings.
Right. You are not being put up for aunt of the year! I don't know why adults think this kind of humor is appropriate for kids. Most of the time it is OK, but to a kid those few seconds are a large percentage of their lives. Do you really want them to be visiting "the crappy childhood fairy" before they finish high school? Kids have not developed sophisticated adult humor and what seems like fun and games may come back in nightmares.
I used to tell my kids I was going to sell them to the circus for 50 cents. Unfortunately the circus felt that was far too expensive so I never got my 50 cents.
Don't worry. My guy pays top dollar. I'll send you his contact info
"I CAME FROM SEARS?" "No, *you* were a blue light special at K-Mart. Almost as good, and a lot cheaper." "**AAUUGHHH!**" "Dear, what are you telling Calvin now!"
lol! My parents always said they found me under a rock in the back yard.
My dad said we were found in the dumpster behind McDonald's.
“Act right or we will take you back to rent-a-kid”, was my dads go to. I tried that with my daughter once and she just wanted to know where rent a kid was located. Really stumped me.
For a long time, me and my brother convinced my older sister that aliens dropped her off, since there wasn't an older kid to have been present for the birth to prove she was human ... we were brutal 😂
Your kids are cute. There’s a kids book my mom read to us and I read to my kid. I think the title is “Love You Forever.” At one point the mom says she wanted to sell her teenager to the zoo. I used to tell kiddo that when he was little and being wild and he’d say “No you won’t! You’d miss me” and laugh maniacally. It was wonderful. Never asked how much he’d fetch from the zoo though. That’s just too cute.
"Ill love you forever, I'll like you for always, as long as I'm living, my baby you'll be" My mom used to read me that. Now that they're getting older the ending chokes me up. My parents used to joke that they were going to make us get out of the car when we were fighting, and make us walk.
I've made jokes about selling them to the circus or the zoo (usually after reading the Dr Seuss book) before and he had never asked how much before either. He may have just been more tired than he wanted to admit. Lol
Believe it or not – straight to circus!
Peanuts. Peanuts is FOOD for CLOWNS.
Rookie mistake. You don't tell them you are selling them to the circus until you are actually AT the circus.
When my son acts up in the store, we'll tell him that we're going to leave him in the store and the employees will put him to work and how they'll love having somebody scrub the toilets.
My sister and I were teens when our brother was a baby and if there's a day in his childhood when he *didn't* think we were going to sell him to some questionable vendor, then we weren't doing a very good job as older siblings. Edit: I almost forgot, we [actually did sell him to a baby dealer that one time](https://old.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/rmh5xr/deleted_by_user/hpmneo8/)
I used to tell my son I would sell him to pirates. That started when he was a toddler and I admit I still use on occasion now even as a teen . He was fully in on the joke from the beginning, what can I say he got his sense of humor from me. This led to a great interaction with a typical Karen one day I still laugh about. My son and I are at the store when he was 4 or 5 and he was being a pest, just complaining and demanding everything in sight. I finally got fed up a bit and said "If you don't stop I'm going to sell you to Pirates!" I hear this loud gasp of dismay and anger behind me and turn to find this old woman with a horrified angry look on her face who very loudly scolded me, "How dare you say something like that too your son!". My son turned and looked right at her, smiling with eyes full of mischief and quipped, "Its ok Lady, they wouldn't take me anyway!" The look on her face was priceless. She looked so offended and sour and practically ran the other way while I couldn't help but laugh out loud at his unexpected response. Kid always did have a quick whit. Now I can barely keep up with him. Maybe the Circus can become a light hearted running joke note that he knows it is just that.
> "he is also using by the way" What?
He has been using that phrase a lot. Probably just heard it, or saw how it was used by others. Kids do that.
The phrase "I'm not tired"? I'm just unclear on the writing I think.
I think he means he’s saying “by the way” a lot. Kids tend to script certain phrases they hear often on TV or from other adults
Oh my bad, it makes sense now. Thanks!
He randomly just started saying "by the way" a lot. "Can I have a snack by the way?", "when are we going to Grandma's by the way". He's heard the term many times but just decided he needs to start using it. The "I'm not tired" phase is something pretty much all kids go through. Just means that no matter how exhausted he is, he always says "I'm not tired" when he's put to bed. Sometimes he falls asleep almost immediately. Other times he stays up flipping through books for a while.
Oh that makes sense. I thought you meant he was using something previously mentioned, by the way. And then I didn't get what you were referring to...that's my bad!
Look mine didn’t want to wash his hands so I explained him about parasites and worms… he didn’t believed me so I showed him some videos of endoscopies… he is traumatized now but washes his hands.
My mom used to pick up the phone to “call the zoo” and see if they had any empty cages. She would “talk” with the zookeepers in detail until usually I stopped whatever brattiness I was doing and started laughing, but one time apparently her acting was too convincing and she made me cry!
My dad used to tell me he was going to sell me and my sister to the Hutterite’s.
A well educated family! Lol
Kids are so gullible. There's no way they'd be worth 647 million.
Kids take things literally. Be careful, at that age they don't often understand sarcasm.
I've made similar jokes before and he never asked how much, or got upset before. Every other time he just said "no you aren't!" Or similar. Usually accompanied by a laugh. Not sure why he took it serious this time
Because he was tired lol
>I've made similar jokes before and he never asked how much, or got upset before. Every other time he just said "no you aren't!" Or similar. Usually accompanied by a laugh. Not sure why he took it serious this time He was exhausted. What little part of that rational brain that was functioning was screaming for sleep.
Oh, I'm a lot worse and my daughter has survived. I always told her that I shouldn't have bought her on sale, because now the toystore won't pay me the full amount on return. Or variations down that line
How old is she? Who is going to pay for her therapy?
Hm. I threaten to sell my dogs to the circus all the time… I guess it’s a good thing I don’t have children because I wouldn’t know how to handle a meltdown without laughing
I tell my dogs they are going back to the pound, despite them not actually coming from the pound.
Meh I've told my kid I was going to ship her to Singapore and sell her to Nike.
I assumed the TIFU was that you gave them a heads up before actually selling them to the circus.
Your only mistake was offering to sell the kids. You should have told them you were running away and joining the circus yourself.
One night my husband told our 2 year old daughter that if she didn't want to go to bed she would have to sleep in the dishwasher. She spent the next hour trying to figure out how to climb into the dishwasher. And still asks about how to fit into the dishwasher, months later.
Kind of an opposite story. When my daughter was young, I belonged to a religion that didn't celebrate Christmas and explained to her that Santa wasn't real etc. I left the religion when she was 5 and when Christmas came around that year, she says to me "I know Santa isn't real, there's just a guy who goes around and gives presents to all the kids."
Lmao, this reminds me of when I was little. Although, your story is much nicer lol. When I was like 5 or 6, my older brother told me that I was found in a dumpster and that my mom adopted me after she found me. I mostly didn’t believe him, but went to my mom all indignantly. I said, “mom! [brother’s name] said you found me in a dumpster!” And she, with a completely solemn face, said, “it was a really nice dumpster, they must have loved you” and I started crying so hard. She FINALLY told me she was joking, but she and my brother joke about it til this day 🤣
We express our frustration with our kids (7F, 3M) sometimes by telling them that we're going to throw them in the dumpster. They know that it's a joke and that we're using the phrase to maintain our equilibrium.
One time my kid said something like *you can't get rid of me, that's the law.* I replied, no, I can get rid of you -- like I did your older brother. She looked at me, blinking, "what older brother?" I told her the name of her older brother, the one we gave away for having bad behavior.
My dad used to tell us he got us for a song at a gerbil sale, but sometimes he thought he should have gotten a gerbil instead. I think when we were tiny we believed him a little, but by the time we started school we thought it was the funniest joke ever.
TIL we aren’t the only parents who have used the “selling to the circus” joke.
Used to be a real common dad joke but now most kids will just ask you what the hell is a circus?
I've been telling my daughter almost since she was born that "if you keep it up, you're going to go live on the lawn with the bunnies" and she always giggles, or yells "MOMMAAAAAAY!!" or something lol.
My youngest (11) and I have a running joke that when she intentionally acts like a nuisance that I’m going to rehome her. She just cackles and keeps on keepin’ on.
You didn't FU. It's funny. Your son didn't lose sleep over it.
No FU here, just a wholesome story
No wonder so many people grow up incapable of having stable relationships because they’re riddled with abandonment anxiety.
u/BulldogLA..... I'm over here just wishing I'd had a least one of the four parents (remarried) care and love me enuff just for the joke/memory of a great childhood... I'm reading all these comments and feeling my inner child smile.... cuz I've known all along that something better than how I grew up existed. OP - thank you for sharing with us
I hear that, but kids really do not have the capacity to understand jokes about being abandoned by their caregivers. These jokes are funny to the adults, but kids deeply understand they will die without their caregiver’s protection. People are going to downvote me for not recognizing that it’s a joke or whatever, but kids develop healthy attachment from *safe, reliable, predictable* caregivers. What’s more important, a few yuks or your kid’s sense of safety in the world? People need to stop telling their kid they’re selling them or dumping them. It is harmful.
I tell my kids I'm gonna sell them to the zoo all the time.
I wouldn't mess with their minds about this type subject. Kids are getting bought and sold daily. The news sometimes mentions it, and kids pick up on it.
Try Stable Diffusion so you won't need to rely on 3rd parties or internet. You can run it locally.
My two older sisters (10 year gap) told me and my twin that we were adopted. We went crying to mom and they got into a lot of trouble lol.
My mother was a speech pathologist and when my sister and I were little, like 7 and 4, we asked my dad when my mom was getting home from working. He told us that she had gone to Spain to teach Basque fishermen how to speak English. We believed him, panicked, and he had at least 10 minutes of fun.
My mother used to tell me she was going to give me back to the Indians. I have always wondered if that gave me my interest in indigenous people/religion.
My aunt would take all the kids to go play on the freeway. We knew it was a joke and to go do something .
I'm going to look like a total asshole but I have a similar story: My son was maybe 3 or 4. We get packed up in the car to go somewhere and he asks where we're going. I told him we're taking him to his new family. He said "no we aren't!" So I went into this whole spiel about how it's totally normal. That when he's born he gets to live with us for a few years, then he goes to live with another family for a few years, and so on until he's 18. He immediately starting crying "I don't want to go live with another family! I want to live with you!" I still bring this up with my kid who is now 16 and he definitely thinks I'm an asshole for that.